Robin

  My dreams have been deeply imprinted in my mind so much that I cannot envision my life without them.

 My dreams are like the breaths I take and if they are never fulfilled, I’m scared I will suffocate and if I stray too far, I’m afraid I wont be able to find my way back. I cant survive on my own. These dreams of mine are like my childhood blanket, always soothing me and protecting me from mayhem. I don’t ever want to let go. For they remind me to always move forward and if I leave them behind. Im scared Ill be stuck with nowhere to go. How will I be able to keep walking if I cant see a destination.

 I used to believe that love is all or nothing. I mean, I would not have you as my boyfriend unless I can’t imagine a life without you.

 I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except

for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That… is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

—  Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

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   I write all my best stories addressed to you and all my worst thoughts in texts for you. But when I’m with you I become sentences full of ellipses and a starry night behind a cloudy sky. You are once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart. Honestly, I tried to stop it but it is damned difficult not to feel anything. You mean more to me than you could ever comprehend. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, and youre not one of those. You are the one of the best things that happened to me which Im sure of. Sometimes the person youd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

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