Always Canceling

I don’t know why, but female dealers are kinda a turn on.....

I’m sure I’m being unreasonable. I feel as if I am. But I can’t help how I feel. So I hate, like disdain with a passion, my best friend’s other ex-best friend. My Friend (A) had always been friends with friend B before I even came into the picture - or maybe it was an overlap. Anyways, we had all worked together, but I never saw B as anything but a work acquaintance. She is a nice person, friendly, but just really dizzy. I don’t handle “stupid people” well. We all tried to be friends before and it did not work out! It was awful. B would tell A I was being bitchy when I was trying to be civil; but honestly I think my “fake face” is almost worse than my own purposeful bitch face.  Anyways, we had a falling out bc B let some secrets slip about A, and though she did not mean it, it was due to her lack of common sense and etc. I’ve made it clear over and over again I don’t want to be included. A can have whatever friends she wants and does not need to include me. I’ve stated it, but she wants to “include me,” which (I guess) is sweet?  I don’t know how to get over it. Once again we are in another situation where 1) we are all hanging out, but in a group setting (that I didn’t want to attend) - but I’m bringing a friend of my own, so it will be okay. and 2) A & B want us to all hang out. But once again I have said go after and go hang with her. I don’t want to be part of it.  Why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel like the shitty person? This is a person I never wanted as a friend, never saw as friend, nor do I want to “catch up” with someone who has not spoken to me in 3 years. Am I being petty? I’m sure A and others would consider myself being childish. I know my weaknesses and I’m aware of my behavior. I just don’t want to be part of it or be stuck in a situation I am not happy about to begin with.