This isn’t a new revelation at all, like I know other people have thought about it before, but at 3 am last night I was thinking about how vampires are basically cats? Like they’re so feline-coded it’s crazy. I mean cmon, they purr! How great is that? And vampires vs wolves is just supernatural-level cats vs dogs. Anyway one thing led to another so this is the Cullens as cats:
Carlisle - the cat you’ve had for like, your entire life. The definition of calm, he always knows when you’re getting sick and will curl up with you to make you feel better. He also loves cuddling in your scarves for some reason.
Esme - sweet, quiet, friendly, gentle: she’s the cat that even dog people love, the one who loves everyone back - even your sister’s bratty kids. She will accept any chin scratches, tummy rubs, and accidental tail pulls you subject her to; just don’t try to separate her from her kittens. It won’t end well for you.
Edward - the cat who will “sing” along with all your music (which is great for making funny tiktoks). But he also follows you around, even to the bathroom if you’ll let him, and he likes to sit on your head while you sleep. Likes to hide under your couch when it rains.
Rosalie - no shade, Rose is the stereotypically pampered, aloof cat. She simply prefers to spend time sitting in the warmest patches of sun grooming her fur. She’ll avoid everyone who wants to pet her, but once they stop trying, she will absolutely come after them like, “why aren’t you paying attention to me?”
Emmett - the one who gets 3 am zoomies. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop him from this. He’s always meowing for more food, even if he just ate five minutes ago. Not the brightest kitten in the basket, but gets a kick out of catnip and chasing lasers.
Alice - she was the runt of the litter, but she’s feisty. Hyperactive, super friendly, and will follow everyone around, weaving around their legs. She loves hiding in boxes and jumping out to surprise her siblings - whenever you lose sight of her, she’s probably planning her next pounce. Frequently watches birds.
Jasper - the cat who finds the weirdest places to hang out and will just stay there. Watching you. For hours. You’ll get up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and he will be sat on top of a bookshelf, eyes glowing in the dark and just following your movements, scaring the shit out of you when you finally notice him there. You feel a little bit hunted, but you wouldn’t have him any other way.
And finally, Bella - the rescue cat who sometimes forgets she’s a cat, and likes to hop the fence to hang out with the dog who lives next door. Tends to get stuck in trees. You insist she must be on the 12th of her 9 lives, you have no idea how she’s survived this long, but you’re happy she has.
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