I cannot believe we are so poorly made as that

This was the Muppet Treasure Island/Black Sails/OFMD crossover crackfic I was writing with @jamesbarlow, except we never finished it. (Partially because script form is neither of our fortes.) So I'm going to share a bunch of excerpts of what we had because I still think it's really funny:

so obviously if it's Black Sails it has to have Flint giving a dramatic biblical monologue that's thematically relevant:

meanwhile Flint, Madi and Thomas are in a piragua and it's really awkward:

“When I was very small, I would sneak out of the slave quarters at night to the main house. I would stand outside the window to the parlor. I would stand amongst the heat and the bugs and the filth on my toes to see inside…The things it took to make that room possible, they were awful things. But inside that room was peace. That is what home is to me.” (3x03)

Here, they must cease to be… to be able to find peace. //

I did not kill Captain Flint. I unmade him. The man you know could never let go of his war. For if he were to exclude it from himself, he would not be able to understand himself. So I had to return him to an earlier state of being. One in which he could function without the war. Without the violence. Without us. Captain Flint was born out of great tragedy. You know this. I told you this. I found a way to reach into the past… and undo it.

BLACK SAILS | “2x10”

You were right. About the toll it took, playing this part. Losing Miranda. The things that losing Miranda drove me to. So I know what you’re feeling in the moment. I perceived its effects on you. What I assumed was sorrow, loneliness. And worst of all terror at the thing you were becoming.

remake of this edit (x)