nerd king ♕

countless nights had been the same . if she was being honest , mariella wasn’t entirely sure why the male had even agreed to marry her when the evenings were often sleepless , plagued with nightmares and voices that no amount of medication or soothing ever seemed to get her through . it was the downside to having such an open mind – with doors left unlocked in her psyche there were paths for the bad to creep in , disembodied voices weaving their way through the corridors of her brain like a parasite to starve their growing son of the sleep his vessel of a mother so desperately needed . “ – i’m sorry , “ he whispered against his chest , fists balled up with fabric within them and her nose pressed up like a pig’s against his chest to hide the tears swimming in golden eyes . there was guilt settled in her at the fact that she was keeping jake awake , but then again she was oblivious to the fact that he had been rather sleepless himself . perhaps the winters would repel sleep forever . it it wasn’t her mother-in-law speaking to her it was the screams of ancestors , of humans that had long since passed , whether she was related to them in any way or not . kicks of discomfort jerked her legs and the younger of the pair whined against her partner as if , if she squeezed herself into his form close enough , they could meld into one . 

His wife’s whispered apology made his heart ache. He knew there was nothing he could do to help her, and he hated that. So, he simply held her, shaking his head slightly, lose strands of his hair falling in odd directions with the motion. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Jakob whispered back, his fingers moving in circular motions against her back. He wished there was more he could do, more he could say, anything to help her. This was the most helpless he’d ever felt. He quietly asked his mother for help, willing her to quiet the voices that plagued his truest love so that she could get the sleep she so desperately needed. Help her, he thought out into the world he’d got the briefest of glimpses into, please, Mom. He felt a strange sort of connection to his mother now, having seen her, spoken to her, and he hoped it was something he would never lose. “I’ve got you.” The words were spoken out loud this time, but his voice was still a whisper.

“ we have time . i know what you’re like with your food and i can barely catch up with it , so if baby winter pops out as ravenous as you are .. all i can say is that my boobs are gonna really go through it . i can only produce so much !! “ mariella may have been tiny but she was rather headstrong , and to change the subject away from the sadness she grabbed at jake’s hand and nearly dragged him up the steps to the carousel . this time her husband didn’t have a chance to pay because already she was handing over her dollars , glancing over one shoulder and narrowing both eyes in a playful scowl that she’d won the battle this time at least . there were a lot of vacant spaces but she’d scouted out one of the horses that would no doubt fit the both of them , hurrying toward the fake animal with her palms against the saddle in an effort to hoist herself up .. which failed miserably . sometimes she hated that she only bordered five feet . the girl was stubborn , maybe it was because she’d grown up with so many siblings , but she was reluctant to ask for help until there was a shout that the carousel was about to spin into action . “ baby , can you .. ?? “ the request was followed by a giggle , a cute little scrunch of her nose , “ i’m blaming it on my bump , not that i’m a dwarf , “ 

He let out a chuckle at her words and shook his head, but before he could speak he was being dragged up to the carousel. Jake didn’t put up a fight, letting Mari pay and laughing at the way she glared at him. He had the rest of their lives to fight her on who would pay for things, so he’d let her have this one, shaking his head at her. Standing as he watched her try and get up on the horse, he waited to see if she could manage it on her own or if she was actually ask him for help. Jake knew what she was like, that despite her small size she still liked to do things on her own. But, a smile crept over his features when she eventually did turn and ask him to give her a hand. “It’s definitely because you’re a dwarf. Bump or no bump I really don’t think you would’ve made it.” He teased, stepping forward to help her get up before trying to get himself on behind her as quickly as he could without toppling over. Without a second to spare, Jake got himself situated just in time for the ride to start.

thank god he’d managed to fall asleep . mariella had been half expecting to stay up being the one cuddling him , cooing him off into dreamland and fighting off the demons that she so often had to do for herself , but she took notice of the way his muscles slowly relaxed until they were completely loose around her , an indication that jakob had been taken by the other side he had been in such desperate need of . their bodies settled together but as much as she tried the girl wasn’t taken in the same way , remaining awake in the dark with eyes wide despite her whole body being heavy with exhaustion both mentally and physically . being pregnant really took it out of her , but that was nothing in comparison to how her mind felt like it had been put through the washer on full speed , whirring around and around until not even her thoughts made sense anymore . she had been torn apart piece by piece and reassembled in the darkness , complete when she was in front of the man she loved but beginning to crack as soon as he left her , even if he was seemingly there in the physical . finally after what seemed like hours of trying her lashes fluttered to close and she faded , but the descent took her deeper than she’d ever expected to go , into a hellscape that her dreams often seemed to manifest . a tiny whimper left her but it wasn’t like her usual thrashing . maybe this was more unnerving , the fact that she silently twisted out of their spooning position to find solace on the chest of her husband , expression twisted and scrunched in obvious discomfort if he’d been watching . the baby inside her was no doubt feeling the exact same turmoil she was as her forehead beaded with sweat and little hands grabbed at the fabric of the male’s shirt , aching to hold onto something to keep her grounded at least until she could be swallowed by the earth whole . 

He’d desperately hoped that being home would mean he was in for some decent sleep, but while he managed to doze off, it hadn’t lasted very long. The deeper into sleep that he fell, the more images flashed behind his eyelids, memories of what had happened that he couldn’t always piece together when he was fully awake. It was like his subconscious was trying to help him to remember. So, he spent most of his nights on the edge of sleep, close enough that he wasn’t walking around like a zombie every day, but far enough away that his heart rate wouldn’t noticeably spike when the panic hit. It was one hell of a balancing act, but it was one that had become a routine for him. He never spoke about it, figuring there was nothing that could be done, plus he had no intention of adding to the stress his wife was already carrying. He wanted her well, he wanted their baby well. And if that meant silent sleepless nights, then that was what he would do. He’d been awake, but he’d kept his eyes closed, when he felt Mariella shift to face him, grabbing at his shirt. Without saying a word, he pulled her closer, his hand moving to gently stroke her hair in an attempt to calm her, though he wasn’t sure how successful he would be.

the single corn dog had satisfied her for now , at least . there was no doubt that little winter would be screaming out for something more before long but right now she’d enjoy the time that her stomach wasn’t gurgling and twisting in hunger , using the brief moment to occupy themselves with something other than the constant eating her tiny body seemed to crave more often than not in these times . “ i’m good . the little gremlin in my womb is satisfied so we have to act quick , before i need to shovel enough food back down my throat to feed a family of six . let’s go , i want to actually enjoy the carnival without needing to pee every five seconds , “ stories of jakob’s youth and his home always fascinated mariella , just like it did to her husband whenever she spoke about the times before the becker family upped and left arizona . once upon a time the two of them had experienced very different lives but , through that string of fate that was firmly strung around their little fingers , fate had brought them together to settle down in the very city they’d start their own bloodline . “ i think i’d love it . i’ve heard all about all the witchy museums and things – i can imagine it’s all just for tourists so they can make a whole lot of money out of all the awful things that happened , but i can’t help but be fascinated either way . i’d like to go one day , meet your family .. “ she’d heard a lot about jakob’s dad and she’d finally met his grandma , and although mariella knew he didn’t have the biggest of families it was still important that she met the members he had left . there was also an overwhelming urge to go and visit ava where she was buried to pay respects face-to-face rather than through the haze of spiritual contact .

“We better move quickly then.” Jake laughed, nodding his head slightly. “Because if baby Winter is anything like me, we don’t have a lot of time. My mom always complained that I was like a bottomless pit, before and after I entered the world. So, here’s hoping he takes after you, otherwise we’ve only got about five minutes.” During the relatively short amount of time Jake had had with his mother that he could still remember, she’d often made comments about the amount the young boy had snacked. She’d always put it down to him being a growing boy, and continued to supply the young Jakob and whoever he had trailing along behind him that day with snacks. “I mean, sure, people play it up for the tourists and stuff, but a lot of the locals are really into it too. Like, my grandma is a huge fan. She actually worked at the main ‘witchy museum’ for most of her life. She’s the one that really got me into, actually. You should see her house at Halloween. She goes all out. It’s amazing. But, we’ll go one day. I’ll show you all the sights, you’ll get a full tour.” The mention of meeting his family had him quiet. His mother was gone, his grandfather was gone, so there weren’t really many other left. She’d met his grandmother, and he was still trying to figure out the best way to go about taking her to meet his dad. “We’ll definitely figure something out.”

it wasn’t like her to finish her meal before jakob did , but she was eating for two now and so the corn dog was devoured near effortlessly to her surprise . rather sheepishly disposing the stick in the nearby waste bin she breathed a laugh at her husband’s words , shaking her head and eyeing her gaze over the male’s figure again to pick up any other differences . “ does yours move , can i feel it ?? we already have a name for our little gem and i don’t think we’ll be able to come up with another one as perfect for your food baby . when are you due ?? “ continuing the joke , mariella placed both her hands flat against his stomach . jake was right , it was a lot smaller than it had once been , almost concave instead of sticking out just a little over his waistband like she was used to . a few weeks of home cooked meals would sort him right out though , for sure . her lips twisted in thought as golden eyes darted away from his features and explored their surroundings . they’d already won the huge dinosaur that remained rather awkwardly tucked beneath her arm , and they’d filled their stomachs ( for the first time , anyway ) , so what next ?? “ hmm .. how about a ride ?? a small one , obviously , i don’t want to spin baby winter around too much .. how about the carousel ?? “ 

By the time Mari was finished her corn dog, Jake was only half way through his. “Do you need another one? Or do you want something else?” He asked before taking another bite. “I’m sure we’ll come up with something. And we better think fast, because I think it’s due later on.” He chuckled, shaking his head as his wife placed her hands on his belly. He’d never been overly athletic, and the way that he and Kas consumed snacks during their frequent video gaming sessions meant that he would be back to normal in no time, and with Mari’s home cooking on top of that, he imagined it wouldn’t take very long at all. At her suggestion of a ride, Jake nodded his head. “Sure, the carousel sounds good.” Making quick work of the last of his corn dog, he tossed the stick into the nearest trash can before reaching for Mari’s hand to lead the way over to the ride. “I don’t even remember the last time I went on a carnival ride. It’s been years. We had a bunch of these kinds of things back home when we were growing up. We’ll have to go back there and go to one one day. You’ll love them. There’s always something just a little bit spooky about them.”

He sat forward, listening with great interest as the other man spoke on about his home town and how much the Salem Trials still had such an influence in the town today. It was fascinating, honestly, to see how things could permeate through life that way. “Yeah well, people are getting a little much with the whole PC-fade anyway,” Mickey said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “I figure, if it’s all coming from a good place, that should be what actually matters. Remembering the witch trials, even through reenactments and festivals and tours, what-have-you, there’s nothing bad in that. It’s a piece of history that shouldn’t be forgotten- we all know that history can repeat itself if we’re not careful,” he said, sharing his insight on such matters. If Mickey was there, he would participate in all the things and wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. The ones who would were people who needed to understand that not everything touching a controversial matter was meant to come from a negative place. But that was a whole other subject for a different day. “I had the hugest crush on Sandra Bullock in that movie,” Mickey admitted with a quiet little chuckle, his eyes bright. “I probably watched it more times than I care to admit because of that. Cool subject matter, though- when I met Circe the other day, she reminded me of it.” He paused. “Oh, Circe is a woman who handles like, holistic home remedies and such,” the male explained, unaware of Jakob’s close connection to the woman and that he’d know exactly who she was, far better than Mickey ever would. “She’s interesting, though. Gots all this neat stuff around her home that sorta reminds me of witch things- dunno if that’s what she’s going for, but yeah.” He also thought she was a very attractive, exotic-looking lady, particularly because of the dark hair and dark eyes combo, but he didn’t feel that was appropriate to chat about. “You’ll definitely get used to it and learn tricks of how to deal with it,” Mickey confirmed, back on about the limps. “Actually, that’s why I went to meet Circe, to see if she had some lotions to help me out or whatever, and so far so good. They don’t hurt the issue, anyway,” he said with a small smile. Unfortunately, there was no real remedy to cure the injury. “As much as I don’t want to say, cause I’m still feeling–” he made a motion of ‘50/50′ with his hand, figuring that Jakob, as a man, would understand what he meant because they could be prideful creatures, “but yeah, it helps a lot sometimes. Gives you something to lean into when there’s no chairs.” Mickey only smiled and gave a nod of appreciation that the other would recognize what he went through was a tough thing– they both had that happen, really, but allowed it to drop so they wouldn’t have to go through more of it. He was happier sticking to the lighter side of the conversation. “Yeah well, I got through the Academy and stuff, sure. But they’re on about liability and not wanting to take unnecessary risks. I figure I’m one of their quota to feel- hire a disabled person, makes them look good.” 

Jakob could sit and talk about his hometown for hours. The history of Salem had always been so interesting to him, and he’d spent a big part of his youth learning all about it. It was an odd fascination, but one he shared with more than a handful of other residents. He’d found out pretty early on that there were two very distinctive groups -- the ones who couldn’t get enough of it, that fully embraced it, and the ones who wanted nothing to do with it. In the neighborhood he’d grown up in, many, if not most, were very much into it. His grandmother had always been very into it, and Jakob always thought that was where his interest had stemmed from. “That’s true. Everything seems to have a way of coming back around eventually. No matter how big or small, it’s just matter of time.” There was something about Mickey’s outlook on things that was somewhat refreshing. Maybe it had something to do with the negativity he’d experienced over things he’d never seen as a problem, but either way, it was nice to see that there were some people who could still find the good in things. “I think that’s pretty common. She was great in it, Nicole Kidman too. I’ve never been that big of a fan of Kidman, not in anything but that. Practical Magic was something else. The margarita scene? Iconic. Timeless. I also thoroughly enjoyed Stockard Channing’s performance, but then again, I’ve liked her ever since the first time I saw Grease. Another classic, but for entirely other reasons.” Jakob’s ability to go on about movies was unparalleled, but he did his best to rein it in when he could. “You met Circe? She’s one of my best friends, actually. We grew up together, she’s from Salem too. We met when we were kids. She really is something, huh?” The amount of love he had for Circe was evident in the way he spoke about her. He’d never had any biological siblings, but Circe, along with Kasper, had always been the next best thing. Inseparable since day one. “She’s big on collecting things, always has been. And she’s got a real talent for it too. She works over at Berwyn’s Boo-Tique, they’ve got some pretty interesting stuff in there. My wife works there as well. The place has this vibe about it, it’s just unreal. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but if you haven’t, you should. It’s really cool.” In the past few months, he’d spent a decent amount of time at the boo-tique, and it meant he’d had a chance to walk around and really take in all of the things they had there. “I’m really glad to hear that, because for a while I thought it was just going to be this massive issue forever. I mean, obviously it’s not ideal, it makes things harder, but it’s good to know, to talk to someone who gets it.” He offered a thankful nod of his head, picking up his coffee to take a sip. “Oh, yeah? If they’re working, that’s great. Can’t hurt to give it a try, right? My wife, Mari, she’s into that sort of stuff too. She’s given me some lotions and stuff, her and Circe probably swaps notes to he perfectly honest with you.” He’d liked the fact that two people that meant so much to him seemed to have so much in common, it made things a lot easier to know that he had some good people on his side, a good support system in place. He hoped that Mickey had the same. He nodded as Mickey went on to explain how he was going with it all, knowing that it was something you could never fully recover from, only learn to live with, adjust to and try to carry on as best as possible. “Maybe I’ll look into getting one. See how I go for a while, and then if things don’t get any better, I’ll definitely take your advice.” It was definitely something he would think about, but if he could get away with not doing it, he would try. “That still doesn’t feel right though. You did the training, you did what you had to do, they should let you do the stuff that you signed up to do. It just... It doesn’t sit right with me, it’s not fair. You seem like a pretty logical kind of guy, someone who knows your limits. They could at least let you do the things that you feel that you can do and not just make you do boring desk work. I have a desk job, for the most part, so I know how boring it can be. If you ever wanted, I could always hack--” He quickly remembered he was talking to a cop and cut himself off. “I mean, uh, that just really sucks. That’s really crappy. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“ mhm . really strong , “ she assured herself more than the other . every time his breath skipped or his heart dropped from it’s usual rhythm mariella was spun into panic , no matter how hard she tried to stay calm in the face of it . maybe she was being irrational or overly paranoid , but she knew if the tables were turned jakob would feel the exact same way – she wasn’t just his wife anymore but his protector , and she’d do all that she could ( helped along by her psychic abilities ) to keep him safe and away from harm , just as she’d failed to do off the back of her previous premonition . for someone graced with such a sixth sense , it killed her that the one time it could’ve helped she had ignored the screams of her subconscious . it was something she’d never forgive herself for , no matter how old the pair of them lived to . “ i am tired , more tired than i thought i was actually . i didn’t realise how little i’d been sleeping when you were in the hospital so i got a lot of catching up to do . the bed was too painful to sleep in – do you know how much it smells like you ?? “ shifting to rest her face against the pillow she took a deep inhalation to get a whiff of his scent , the smell that her husband seemed to carry in the morning when his cologne had worn off and his untamed hair stuck up in every direction . that was the moment where she loved him even more , if such a thing was possible . even when he had been at his sickest with pale skin , chapped lips and exhausted heavy eye bags she had found him beautiful , just as she promised him day after day . a moment passed , and with a shudder of her lower lip mariella realised just how scared she was about sleeping ; nightmares and terrors plagued her dreams at the best of times so how was she meant to get more than a few hours now , with the image of her dead lover still hot in the back of her memory ?? sure , he was here and safe beside her , but that didn’t erase the moment when his heart rate completely flat lined . rolling to settle against jake to adopt the role of ‘ little spoon ‘ she bundled one of his arms around her middle , dipping her face against the fabric of his shirt with a little sniffle that she hoped wouldn’t be picked up . wet lashes closed , a prolonged exhale calming her shot nerves , fingertips stroking over the hair that covered her man’s forearm in yet another attempt to soothe herself .

“Well, there’s no better time to start than right now.” Jakob told her with a gentle smile. He’d waited a long time for this, to be back home and back in his own bed. It was as if his body started to sink back into the old routine, finding its usual comfy spot, relaxing into it, getting ready to fall asleep. Whether he got much sleep, that was another question. But, he would give it his best shot. “I can’t say I ever noticed it, actually. But maybe that has something to do with the fact that I was never super aware that I smelled a certain way.” He let out a soft chuckle, holding her just a little closer as he sunk down the bed a fraction. To Jakob, the room did hold a certain scent, but it wasn’t something he’d noticed until Mariella started spending more time there. The smell could’ve been a perfect mixture of the two of them, marrying together in the same way the two of them had. It was a smell that he’d always enjoyed coming home to, bringing him a sort of comfort the moment he’d stepped inside after a long day at work. He hadn’t realised how much he missed it until he couldn’t smell it anymore. As his wife tucked in against him, Jakob wrapped himself around her in the way he always did, quickly finding himself fighting off sleep. Hospitals were horrible places to try and get sleep, he’d struggled most nights, his sleep broken and leaving him feeling more tired than before. He hoped being home would put an end to all of that, having Mariella back with him hopefully being the magic cure that he needed. “I love you.” He whispered sleepily, his eyelids falling closed as he spoke. “Are you comfy enough? It’s nice having some more room, huh?” His voice was mumbled, trailing off a little towards the end as he started to doze off.

her lower lip jutted out in playful annoyance , but she’d known from the start that this would’ve been the situation even with her insistence to pay . that was one of many countless attributes that made her so incredibly in love with jakob , that he was selfless and always put her needs and wants first even if she hadn’t asked . “ i would never leave you , and for the record i’m loving the whole abs situation , but that’s not the boy i fell in love with . if you want to stay like this i’m not gonna stop you , baby , but i kinda like having a chunky husband . i hear the whole dad-bod thing is in right now , anyway , and it’s kinda fitting since you’re gonna be a dad veeery soon . i’m also gonna look way bigger next to you once baby keeps growing and growing , “ mariella tilted her head to take a bite from the side of the corn dog , lacing their fingertips together ( the ones not preoccupied by being wrapped around their snack stick ) to stop them being separated as the bustle of crowds continued around them .

It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last time, that a battle like this would take place. At present, Jake’s one goal was to make Mari happy, and when their baby arrived, it was extend to them as well. “Well, that’s lucky, because I’m very much looking forward to getting back to normal, or as close to it as possible.” Things would never be exactly how they were before. So much had changed in so many ways, that it would be near impossible to get back to that. “I’ll have a dad bod in no time, don’t worry. More to love, I guess, huh?” He joked, shrugging his shoulders. Taking another bite of the corn dog, he smiled. “I think I’m going to need another one of these before we leave. Maybe even two. There’s a good chance my food baby is going to be bigger than our actual baby before long.” He laughed after finishing his mouthful. “Now that we’ve covered what I wanted to do, what do you want to do?”

it seemed to be a constant battle ever since their first date as to who handed over money when they paid for things together . it was always mariella’s intention to part with her notes , to wrestle her card into the machine before jake could catch on , but it seemed her husband was always one step ahead . oh well , she figured it was the least he could do when she would have to push out an entire baby in a few months . “ jake !! i wanted to pay for those . you’re a nightmare . the cake is on me , you have to promise , “ despite her complaint the girl happily took a bite of her snack , keeping their bodies close with adoring eyes wide and staring right up at the man beside her . “ you gotta fill yourself back out , so i’m gonna stuff you full of all this unhealthy food so i can get my chunky boy back . you’re not leaving this carnival until i have to roll you out of here on your belly . if we’re not competing for biggest tummy by the end of the day i’m going home alone , “ 

Jake shook his head. “I’m not promising that. Not gonna happen.” He chuckled, smiling widely.” He was brought up to be a gentleman, to treat people as best he could. “It’s the least I can do. A thank you for everything you’ve been doing. You’ve been doing so much. You’re also growing a whole baby, and that takes a lot of work too.” He looked back at her and you could see it in his eyes just how absolutely in love with her he was. “Are you saying that you don’t like my newly found abs? That if I don’t fill out again you’re going to leave me? Ouch!” His stint in the hospital had left him a little thinner than he had been before. “I mean, I’m not complaining about eating a whole load of junk food, in fact, I’m all for it. But, here I was thinking you’d be excited about having a hunky husband.”