they are the hunters we are the foxes

“Well if they really meant something to you, the distance would just make the heart grow fonder. Hypothetically, you would meet somewhere in the middle every few months or so.”

“But what if, hypothetically, said couple weren’t very good at spending time apart? What if, hypothetically, one half of the couple had a tendency to fuck things like that up?”

“Yes, follow My Heart. I’ve heard they’re very good. I’m sorry. I had to fit a dad joke in there somewhere. I’m not going to tell you some ‘unhelpful sentimental bullshit’, Piper. Just tell me whats wrong?”

“Oh my god, dude. Please stop with the dad jokes, please. Look, I just...hypothetically, if you had got into college, but the person you were dating was going to college on the other side of the country, what would you do?”

“That is–That is so rude, Piper. I happen to have full custody over my daughter, so I think I’m pretty good at the baby making process. And, well, y’know. Taking care of her process, too.”

“Exactly. You’re a dad now, with dad eyes and a dad heart. You'd probably tell me to ‘follow my heart’, or some other unhelpful sentimental bullshit.”

“Fuck, Piper. I told you–Don’t get knocked up. It doesn’t necessarily ruin your life, but it ruins your life. Fuck, I thought–I thought I could trust you?”

“Dude, I’m not pregnant. Even if I was, I wouldn’t come to you for advice.”