Jake

☀️ Of COURSE friend! We keep one of our back castles niiiiiiiiiiice and quiet for those who want a little space!

Heads up: this show has a lot of sexual humor and scenarios, as well as cartoony graphic violence and swearing.

As far as he’s concerned, you can do no wrong. Literally. Absolutely everything you do is perfect in his eyes.

He’s super physically affectionate, which can be a little annoying if you aren’t. He can’t help booping your nose or pinching your cheeks or hugging you - you’re just too adorable!

He ALWAYS remembers the most important days in your life, even if those “important” days are somewhat mundane. “Happy anniversary of the first time you saw your favorite movie! I already made popcorn!”

You are absolutely drowning in horse-themed toys, clothes, books, craft supplies… All the horses. All the time.

He really enjoys cooking for people, and loves making your favorite foods for you.

He loves drawing with you, or even without you. If your crayons are missing, there’s a high chance he’s using them.

He will NEVER intentionally put you in danger, buuut he’s happy to bring you along on easy, safe jobs. Want to run around while he works? Sure thing! Wanna help stab that guy? Go ahead!

While he’s not always good at taking care of himself, he’s GREAT at looking after you. “Want some water?” “Are you hungry?” “Hey, you’re not looking so good - need a break?”

He helps name all your plushies. Even if you don’t accept his (clearly superior) name suggestions, he’ll still go along with your final choice.

Heads up: this show has a lot of sexual humor and scenarios, as well as cartoony graphic violence and swearing.

He LOVES musical theater, and is constantly taking you to see different shows. Some… are better than others, but he’s usually able to tell which ones you won’t like, and he goes to those ones by himself.

(He also writes songs specially for you! So many. Sooo many.)

He tries very hard not to swear around you, and whenever he slips up, his reaction is hilarious.

Whenever someone makes a mistake about your name - either pronouncing it incorrectly or misspelling it - he corrects them. Repeatedly. As many times as it takes.

He tries to be prepared for any and all potential problems, and is always carrying various first aid supplies, toys, and weapons. You know, just in case.

(Speaking of weapons: if you have any interest in firearms, he’ll show you his collection and give you the histories of every make and model.)

Whenever you find yourselves somewhere prizes can be won, he does everything he can to get you the prize you most want. Even if that means cheating or fighting someone.

When you play pretend with him, he falls fully into character; complete with a different voice, a new personality, and an extensive backstory.

He encourages you to support all artists, and regularly takes you to galleries, street concerts, poetry slams - anywhere aspiring creators might show off their craft.

Heads up: this show has a lot of sexual humor and scenarios, as well as cartoony graphic violence and swearing.

He loves waking you up in weird, annoying ways. The airhorn is his go-to, but he has a variety of ideas to pull from. Have you ever woken up because you’d been covered in five pints of melting ice cream? No? WOULD YOU LIKE TO?

(He makes up for the goofiness by presenting you with a new balloon animal every day. I bet you didn’t even know it was possible to make an elephant out of a single balloon!)

He’s constantly using his robotic limbs to grab things for you or to grab YOU and move you somewhere else.

He’s actually really good at keeping your schedule organized and making sure you’re not late for things. The man doesn’t take many things seriously, but punctuality is a must!

He’s terrible at cooking. So bad. So hilariously bad. You’re gonna be eating a lot of takeout.

He doesn’t perform much any more, but he still gives an occasional show at Ozzie’s. You always have a front-row seat to watch his routine!

(There’s always at least one bodyguard with you; after his experiences with creepy fans, Fizz insists on your protection.)

He’s great at distracting you when you’re upset; no matter how angry, sad, or scared you are, he can find a way to take your mind off things.

He’s fluent in sign language, and will use it to talk to you whenever you’re not up for verbal communication.

Beezy au Caine would let Caine have beezy for a bit while they have an immediate therapy session lmao

theyre very siblings to me so they get the classic experience of your little sibling threatening you into playing with them

hi they're so caregiver ok bye

"Happy birthday buddy! Sorry I'm so late, things have been very busy with things here and my business, but happy birthday!"

*He sits the cupcake down and holds out a shark onesie he got for the little human*

"I hope you like it! Now you can be a shark whenever-'

*As they're talking, a small robot walks up to them and touches Jake's shoulder.*

GIR: "I found a pizza~!"

*GIR says, holding out a pizza he got from... somewhere before swallowing it whole. James is quick to wipe his mouth off of all the grease and pizza debris before chuckling.*

"Oh yeah, we have some new visitors you may have heard about. This is one of this. This is GIR, and he's... a silly one, to be sure."

GIR: "Did I tell you about the story of how I became a giant pizza?" *He said in a cutesy tone, a derpy, happy expression on his face.*

"Where did you get it anyways?"

GIR: "The tall aliens have a bunch of pizzas they eat, I took one of them they weren't eating!"

"GIR... we shouldn't steal things from others if we don't wanna get in trouble, remember?"

He looked down and chuckled a little bit,”Hey it’s a pleasure! I’m Jake! Oh uh…See ya!” He gave him a playful wave.