Satan's Ranch

And Moxxie was a rollercoaster of emotions upon hearing the news.

One of those, being worry.

He didn't have a clue how to take care of a baby, neither did Millie.

And he certainly didn't want to have their poor child come into a world where their parents would be useless.

So, after some long talks and private discussions, they decided to give the ranch a call.

Make an appointment and, head over to try and practice what taking care of a child would be like.

Of course, having to explain the hidden pregnancy in order to make sudden call make sense.

Millie just hoped it wouldn't spread too quickly, not that she was ashamed if it, she just wanted to keep it private for as long as she could, family and all.

So, the two imps arrive at the ranch, Millie already putting a hand over her stomach subconsciously.

*Yogirt was quick to usher them in and welcome them gently.*

"Ah, hello you two, it's a pleasure to see you. I understand that these... upcoming events in your life have put a bit of concern on your shoulders. Don't worry. We can help you. I would be happy to help you learn what it's like to take care of kids. I promise you it's a rewarding endeavor."

*He bows before them, ushering them in to see a bunch of kids, regular and regressed adults, going about their activities.*

"It's as much a learning process with your kid as anything else. Everyone is unique in their own way, and taking care of them especially. But we can give you the skills to help you better ascertain your child's needs. Now-"

*Before he could finish that sentence, a small green alien came alongside his pugged-up sidekick.*

Zim: "Candle being! I am currently studying these smeet-like humans to better understand them. They are quite fascinating in their diversity. Tell me-"

*Before he could finish that sentence, his eyes immediately jumped over to the other imp next to his wife. In that instant, both of them had this... strange feeling of familiarity with one another. As if for some reason, despite never knowing about one another... they felt entwined in some way. The small alien pauses for a second, looking Moxxie over, before jumping back to attention to confront him about this feeling.*

Zim: "YOU! What is this sensation you befell upon me suddenly? Are you attempting to trick me, ZIIIIIM?! GIR, what can you tell me about them?"

Millie asked, backing up behind her dearest husband.

Moxxie: “I'm.. Really not sure, Millie.”

Zim: "...Indeed true. What is your game here, creature?"

"Aheh... please do not bother our guests, Zim, they are here to learn-"

Millie spoke up.

Moxxie: “And, don't call us lesser creatures, we may look weak, but we can kick ass anytime.”

Millie: “You and Blitz can, sweetheart.”

Moxxie: “Right- honestly forgot you were being gentle with yourself, sorry hun.”

Millie: “No need to apologize, Moxxie, it's been far too long.”

"Zim, you know we can't allow fighting here."

Zim: "I know candle creature! One day, you will show me your prowess. I want to study your people so I may better conquer them one day. GIR, take notes."

*Gir simply held out the picture he drew of Moxxie and Zim together holding hands.*

GIR: "I used all the red. And then I ate the rest."

*A small burp escaped the robot, crayon paper escaping his mouth.*

"Gir, we don't eat crayons, those are not food."

Zim: "Do not bother with him. GIR is... a very simple-minded robot when his mind is set to it. I doubt he'll get sick from eating those artistry appliances. But more importantly, these two need education on these smeetlings, yes? I know one who can help with this."

"Would you be a darling and help our guests here Zim? I'm a very busy little imp and it would be very grateful if you did so."

Zim: "Our goals align, so I will do you this favor, imp. Come! I know just who to see..."

*The invader takes GIR and the couple to see... Oliver, who was playing with Fizzarolli currently.*

"Oh hey you two, nice to see ya here. So what's the dealio, hm?"

Zim: "These two wish to know more about taking care of your smeetlings for themselves."

"...What?"

GIR: "He means the small little ones you gotta hold and squeeze. Like me."

Totally not suspicious, Mox.

Millie: “And, no offence Fizz, but how did you get a kid? , I thought Ozzie weren't wantin' to be parental material.”

"It's a process, but I'll help ya learn if you really want it. Now, every kid is unique in their own way, but the important thing is to be ready to learn and be attentive to their every want and need. You don't have to know everything from the get go. Nobody does. I certainly didn't when I first started with Oliver." *Fizzarolli chuckles a bit, before he signed to his child.*

"Papa's not perfect, but you still love him nontheless, right?"

"Yes! I'll always love you Papa Fizz!"

*The deaf imp hugs FIzzarolli in response, making him blush madly as he returns the gesture.*

GIR: "YAY HUGS!"

*The little dog-costumed robot jumps onto Oliver, making him gasp a bit before giggling at the silly dog trying to hug him with his tiny arms. He holds him up and snuggles him.*

Zim: "GIR, what are you doing?"

GIR: "I'm learning about kids. They like squeezing things, so I'm gonna squeeze him super hard!"

Zim: "I don't think you should do that GIR, they're not as durable as you."

Millie muttered, both hands over her stomach now, you know if she could physically move her womb to protect her lil imp, she would.

"...You'll do good, I'm sure of it. Now as for helping them out, you just gotta be attentive and listen to their needs. For example, are they hungry? If so, what's good for them to eat? If they're tired, what are the signs and how best to help them to sleep? If they're sad, gently talk with them and... try and figure out what's got them feeling down. Let's try an example..."

*He thinks for a second, before realizing Satan was here in his little form. A perfect test subject to hopefully teach them. They take the group to Satan, who was lounging about with a grumpy look on his face. Yogirt tries to console him and notices the group.*

Zim: "Fascinating, so even the big ones can turn into smeets."

"Hm? Is there a problem?"

"I'm trying to help them learn how to take care of people, I was wondering if we could try with Satan."

"Hmm... Satan, would you be okay with Moxxie and Millie here trying to take care of you?"

"The Dragon looks at the couple and gives a sad sigh and nod.*

His brain had been running on nothing but guilt and adrenaline since Velvette had found the backlogs.

He had no letter, no preparation on how to even begin to apologize to his Lamby.

Although, he couldn't even call her that any more, huh?

Knowing him, he'd probably just improvise it.

It was now rolling around the afternoon, and his antennae was slick, drooping down the back of his head.

Standing still for the inevitable click of hooves, come near the door.

Have the ram be introduced to the true lying scumbag he was.

Probably watch her be shoved into whatever the current situation was surrounding him, James, the ranch, the hotel.

Hell wasn't quiet for long afterall.

He took in a breath and relaxed his shaking form, wings unfolding around him and staying open, his lower and upper arms going behind his back.

Now he was either anticipating James coming back from his vacation before the ram and giving him an earful, or the ram coming in before James, dropping off the pastries to Ethan and making Valentino take responsibility for EVERYTHING he'd done and explain himself.

Because Velvette’s summaries couldn't even cover half the fucked up shit he's done down in this pit.

"Hey Val..."

*Said a gentle voice coming from the door. It was James. He was... weirdly calm hearing after hearing all he had to from Velvette and the VeeTek post.*

"I really should be surprised by what I heard but... yeah no, I know how you guys used to operate before you had me bailing you out from yourselves. But that was before I was having you do mandatory redemption sooo... yeah, I won't bee too hard on that. But still, dick move dude. Now, I want you to go and apologize and explain the TRUTH to that lady you lied to. I swear, it's like you all want to be metaphorically caniballized by Hell down here." *A tired sigh escapes his mouth as he sits next to Valentino, giving him a side hug.*

“I.. Mhm. Yeah, thank you, Jamesy.”

Valentino stood to attention, either knocking off James or lifting him up with him depending on the fishes grip strength when the doors slid open.

Hooves muffled by the carpet of the entryway, here enters a fluffy ram, carrying a cardboard box full of sweet treats and leaving them on the desk, before turning to face the moth.

“Sugarloaf.”

She directed at Valentino.

“Hii... Lamby.”

She looked at Valentino, her smile straining.

“This ones issues! Now please, do go on ahead.”

Valentino gulped, before getting into it.

“I am... Sorry, Lamby, for... For tricking you. I honestly can't remember the original reason for me acting so... Well, how I was before.”

His upper hand got out his phone and scrolled quickly to his screen shots, to see what she'd told him.

“Nothing I told you was the truth, Charlie's not a dictator, she just wants hell to redeem itself, she's not a brat, Angel Dust wasn't a willing participant in any of the shoots after he moved out of the tower before Charlie effectively saved all of hell in the last extermination, Voxxie and I would hypnotize him and I'd make him fear me, but I'd force him to comply because I owned his soul and to me, back then he was just nothing but a dirty slut who deserved everything because he disobeyed my orders, but he didn't, he really, really, didn't, and he wasn't the only victim to my disgusting actions, there were so many more souls who I violated for my own selfish pleasure, many more I killed and replaced because I was inconvenienced slightly and I took my anger out on them! I wasn't this savior of Hell when the whole Might of Lilith happened, I just took the credit because Velvette and I didn't want to loose our reputation to the public because of Vox's outburst.”

He then went to a big paragraph on his phone, a knot in his stomach as he read over it quickly.

“And what I told you about Jamesy and VeeTek... He's not oppressive, he's so kind and sweet to me despite everything I've done, and I honestly don't even deserve to be standing here right now, I should be hanging on display for the people of hell to see as an example of what happens when you go way too fucking far. I was so angry those days because I c-couldn't get my way and I was repressing going to him for help and so I used you as an outlet! and spread these horrible things into your head about him because I was too far gone to backtrack and I didn't want you ever finding out everything I said was a lie when Jamesy took my soul and effectively put me under heavy supervision to force me to face my actions and redeem myself because he s-somehow saw some good in me despite everything I did and I would rather have you think I died than actually explain to you four months ago why I suddenly lost any of my free time, my soul, my influence, and why some ‘random fish sinner’ would be the face of ‘my’ company!”

In the middle of that confession, Valentino had started to tear and choke up, letting go of James to wrap his lower arms around himself in a hug, his upper hands dropping his phone to the ground to cover his face in shame.

"I know it hurts, I know. But it's important. It means you're still human. You still feel bad and want to be better. You want to make amends for the horrible things you did. As long as you feel that way truly and you keep to making yourself better... you'll always be worth my time. So don't you ever say you aren't." *James smooched the moth's forehead, looking him in the eyes.*

"I believe just like Charlie that anyone can be redeemed if they want it. Or at the very least, become a version of themselves they don't have to hate. I know you can do it as much as Vox or Vel can. It may take a while, but I know you can." *The fish turns to Lacy and smiles.*

“‘course Fishcake, I have no doubt we'll end up seein' each other again at somepoint... You keep watching over my Sugarloaf now, It definitely will take some time for me to get to know him again, but I'm glad. His sobbing shows that he's... Guilty. And it's better to work with a guilty soul than a soul who's denying he's done any wrong.”

She picked up the box and put it at James's feet.

“Let's catch up, Sugarloaf, talk to you later, Fishcake.”

*James gently takes Valentino by the hand, smiling as he takes him to his living quarters where Velvette and Vox are hanging out.*

"Sorry, he ran into an old... aquaintance. He's a bit down." *James sits him down next to Vox and looks at them all.*

"I know it's been a rough few months since I... well, deposed you from your spots, but I want you to know I'm extremely proud of your progress so far. Val has been taking his work seriously and treating people with the respect they deserve. Velvette has used social media responsibly and done wonders with the littles at the Spa, and Vox... you seem to be taking people's thought and opinions and respect more amicably. Maybe it's cause of that old boxy CRTV head, maybe you finally got it into you people deserve respect, I dunno, but I'm impressed." *He smiles and gives all three of them a hug.*

"You keep this work up, you'll earn your spots back alongside me running things around here in no time. Oh, and Vox... I apparently have an new trick I can do now that I'm redeemed. Watch."

*James focuses his magic a bit, before suddenly, he summons the five axolotls from before. One ofthem lands on Vox's lap.*

"Eee!"

Vox gently gripped the lil critter like a burger.

“It- IT- A-”

“It's very cute James, just don't let Vox short circuit himself.”

Velvette cut in, tapping the side of Vox's head.

“Shush! Ssssh! Shut it Vel, this- oh this thing- i just can't believe it's actually real- you're telling me when you got redeemed, you got THESE CUTIES?!”

He gave it a little squish.

“Lookit Val!!! It's a freakin axolotl!!”

"They can be decent attack dogs too underwater. On land though... they're pretty much just adorable pets."

*As if to prove that theory, one of the Axolotls fell on their back again, and one found a nearby bucket of water to jump into, their head poking out happily as they squee in joy.*

"Speaking on you Vox, I think it's time for an upgrade. You've had enough progress with regular customer service at the Cafe that it's time for the next step. You're gonna be... a content creator."

*James holds his hands out and gives a bubble full of confetti to celebrate.*

"Now that you've proven to me you can handle people, it's time to prove it to the world. No better way to start your public redemption arc than as a humble creator for our company. Now, I won't hold you to any specific theme or idea, I'll let you decide what you think would be best for you to do. All it has to do is meet our standards and be engaging for people to enjoy. Nerd out about aquatic life, talk about tech, whatever floats your boat. I'll even let you borrow my little cuties here for streaming if you want, they won't mind. Don't worry about water, unlike in-game they don't seem to need water to survive. They're just... a bit derpy on land. But that makes them cute."

*The axolotls all surround Vox and pile on him.*

His brain had been running on nothing but guilt and adrenaline since Velvette had found the backlogs.

He had no letter, no preparation on how to even begin to apologize to his Lamby.

Although, he couldn't even call her that any more, huh?

Knowing him, he'd probably just improvise it.

It was now rolling around the afternoon, and his antennae was slick, drooping down the back of his head.

Standing still for the inevitable click of hooves, come near the door.

Have the ram be introduced to the true lying scumbag he was.

Probably watch her be shoved into whatever the current situation was surrounding him, James, the ranch, the hotel.

Hell wasn't quiet for long afterall.

He took in a breath and relaxed his shaking form, wings unfolding around him and staying open, his lower and upper arms going behind his back.

Now he was either anticipating James coming back from his vacation before the ram and giving him an earful, or the ram coming in before James, dropping off the pastries to Ethan and making Valentino take responsibility for EVERYTHING he'd done and explain himself.

Because Velvette’s summaries couldn't even cover half the fucked up shit he's done down in this pit.

"Hey Val..."

*Said a gentle voice coming from the door. It was James. He was... weirdly calm hearing after hearing all he had to from Velvette and the VeeTek post.*

"I really should be surprised by what I heard but... yeah no, I know how you guys used to operate before you had me bailing you out from yourselves. But that was before I was having you do mandatory redemption sooo... yeah, I won't bee too hard on that. But still, dick move dude. Now, I want you to go and apologize and explain the TRUTH to that lady you lied to. I swear, it's like you all want to be metaphorically caniballized by Hell down here." *A tired sigh escapes his mouth as he sits next to Valentino, giving him a side hug.*

“I.. Mhm. Yeah, thank you, Jamesy.”

Valentino stood to attention, either knocking off James or lifting him up with him depending on the fishes grip strength when the doors slid open.

Hooves muffled by the carpet of the entryway, here enters a fluffy ram, carrying a cardboard box full of sweet treats and leaving them on the desk, before turning to face the moth.

“Sugarloaf.”

She directed at Valentino.

“Hii... Lamby.”

She looked at Valentino, her smile straining.

“This ones issues! Now please, do go on ahead.”

Valentino gulped, before getting into it.

“I am... Sorry, Lamby, for... For tricking you. I honestly can't remember the original reason for me acting so... Well, how I was before.”

His upper hand got out his phone and scrolled quickly to his screen shots, to see what she'd told him.

“Nothing I told you was the truth, Charlie's not a dictator, she just wants hell to redeem itself, she's not a brat, Angel Dust wasn't a willing participant in any of the shoots after he moved out of the tower before Charlie effectively saved all of hell in the last extermination, Voxxie and I would hypnotize him and I'd make him fear me, but I'd force him to comply because I owned his soul and to me, back then he was just nothing but a dirty slut who deserved everything because he disobeyed my orders, but he didn't, he really, really, didn't, and he wasn't the only victim to my disgusting actions, there were so many more souls who I violated for my own selfish pleasure, many more I killed and replaced because I was inconvenienced slightly and I took my anger out on them! I wasn't this savior of Hell when the whole Might of Lilith happened, I just took the credit because Velvette and I didn't want to loose our reputation to the public because of Vox's outburst.”

He then went to a big paragraph on his phone, a knot in his stomach as he read over it quickly.

“And what I told you about Jamesy and VeeTek... He's not oppressive, he's so kind and sweet to me despite everything I've done, and I honestly don't even deserve to be standing here right now, I should be hanging on display for the people of hell to see as an example of what happens when you go way too fucking far. I was so angry those days because I c-couldn't get my way and I was repressing going to him for help and so I used you as an outlet! and spread these horrible things into your head about him because I was too far gone to backtrack and I didn't want you ever finding out everything I said was a lie when Jamesy took my soul and effectively put me under heavy supervision to force me to face my actions and redeem myself because he s-somehow saw some good in me despite everything I did and I would rather have you think I died than actually explain to you four months ago why I suddenly lost any of my free time, my soul, my influence, and why some ‘random fish sinner’ would be the face of ‘my’ company!”

In the middle of that confession, Valentino had started to tear and choke up, letting go of James to wrap his lower arms around himself in a hug, his upper hands dropping his phone to the ground to cover his face in shame.

"I know it hurts, I know. But it's important. It means you're still human. You still feel bad and want to be better. You want to make amends for the horrible things you did. As long as you feel that way truly and you keep to making yourself better... you'll always be worth my time. So don't you ever say you aren't." *James smooched the moth's forehead, looking him in the eyes.*

"I believe just like Charlie that anyone can be redeemed if they want it. Or at the very least, become a version of themselves they don't have to hate. I know you can do it as much as Vox or Vel can. It may take a while, but I know you can." *The fish turns to Lacy and smiles.*

“‘course Fishcake, I have no doubt we'll end up seein' each other again at somepoint... You keep watching over my Sugarloaf now, It definitely will take some time for me to get to know him again, but I'm glad. His sobbing shows that he's... Guilty. And it's better to work with a guilty soul than a soul who's denying he's done any wrong.”

She picked up the box and put it at James's feet.

“Let's catch up, Sugarloaf, talk to you later, Fishcake.”

*James gently takes Valentino by the hand, smiling as he takes him to his living quarters where Velvette and Vox are hanging out.*

"Sorry, he ran into an old... aquaintance. He's a bit down." *James sits him down next to Vox and looks at them all.*

"I know it's been a rough few months since I... well, deposed you from your spots, but I want you to know I'm extremely proud of your progress so far. Val has been taking his work seriously and treating people with the respect they deserve. Velvette has used social media responsibly and done wonders with the littles at the Spa, and Vox... you seem to be taking people's thought and opinions and respect more amicably. Maybe it's cause of that old boxy CRTV head, maybe you finally got it into you people deserve respect, I dunno, but I'm impressed." *He smiles and gives all three of them a hug.*

"You keep this work up, you'll earn your spots back alongside me running things around here in no time. Oh, and Vox... I apparently have an new trick I can do now that I'm redeemed. Watch."

*James focuses his magic a bit, before suddenly, he summons the five axolotls from before. One ofthem lands on Vox's lap.*

"Eee!"

His brain had been running on nothing but guilt and adrenaline since Velvette had found the backlogs.

He had no letter, no preparation on how to even begin to apologize to his Lamby.

Although, he couldn't even call her that any more, huh?

Knowing him, he'd probably just improvise it.

It was now rolling around the afternoon, and his antennae was slick, drooping down the back of his head.

Standing still for the inevitable click of hooves, come near the door.

Have the ram be introduced to the true lying scumbag he was.

Probably watch her be shoved into whatever the current situation was surrounding him, James, the ranch, the hotel.

Hell wasn't quiet for long afterall.

He took in a breath and relaxed his shaking form, wings unfolding around him and staying open, his lower and upper arms going behind his back.

Now he was either anticipating James coming back from his vacation before the ram and giving him an earful, or the ram coming in before James, dropping off the pastries to Ethan and making Valentino take responsibility for EVERYTHING he'd done and explain himself.

Because Velvette’s summaries couldn't even cover half the fucked up shit he's done down in this pit.

"Hey Val..."

*Said a gentle voice coming from the door. It was James. He was... weirdly calm hearing after hearing all he had to from Velvette and the VeeTek post.*

"I really should be surprised by what I heard but... yeah no, I know how you guys used to operate before you had me bailing you out from yourselves. But that was before I was having you do mandatory redemption sooo... yeah, I won't bee too hard on that. But still, dick move dude. Now, I want you to go and apologize and explain the TRUTH to that lady you lied to. I swear, it's like you all want to be metaphorically caniballized by Hell down here." *A tired sigh escapes his mouth as he sits next to Valentino, giving him a side hug.*

“I.. Mhm. Yeah, thank you, Jamesy.”

Valentino stood to attention, either knocking off James or lifting him up with him depending on the fishes grip strength when the doors slid open.

Hooves muffled by the carpet of the entryway, here enters a fluffy ram, carrying a cardboard box full of sweet treats and leaving them on the desk, before turning to face the moth.

“Sugarloaf.”

She directed at Valentino.

“Hii... Lamby.”

She looked at Valentino, her smile straining.

“This ones issues! Now please, do go on ahead.”

Valentino gulped, before getting into it.

“I am... Sorry, Lamby, for... For tricking you. I honestly can't remember the original reason for me acting so... Well, how I was before.”

His upper hand got out his phone and scrolled quickly to his screen shots, to see what she'd told him.

“Nothing I told you was the truth, Charlie's not a dictator, she just wants hell to redeem itself, she's not a brat, Angel Dust wasn't a willing participant in any of the shoots after he moved out of the tower before Charlie effectively saved all of hell in the last extermination, Voxxie and I would hypnotize him and I'd make him fear me, but I'd force him to comply because I owned his soul and to me, back then he was just nothing but a dirty slut who deserved everything because he disobeyed my orders, but he didn't, he really, really, didn't, and he wasn't the only victim to my disgusting actions, there were so many more souls who I violated for my own selfish pleasure, many more I killed and replaced because I was inconvenienced slightly and I took my anger out on them! I wasn't this savior of Hell when the whole Might of Lilith happened, I just took the credit because Velvette and I didn't want to loose our reputation to the public because of Vox's outburst.”

He then went to a big paragraph on his phone, a knot in his stomach as he read over it quickly.

“And what I told you about Jamesy and VeeTek... He's not oppressive, he's so kind and sweet to me despite everything I've done, and I honestly don't even deserve to be standing here right now, I should be hanging on display for the people of hell to see as an example of what happens when you go way too fucking far. I was so angry those days because I c-couldn't get my way and I was repressing going to him for help and so I used you as an outlet! and spread these horrible things into your head about him because I was too far gone to backtrack and I didn't want you ever finding out everything I said was a lie when Jamesy took my soul and effectively put me under heavy supervision to force me to face my actions and redeem myself because he s-somehow saw some good in me despite everything I did and I would rather have you think I died than actually explain to you four months ago why I suddenly lost any of my free time, my soul, my influence, and why some ‘random fish sinner’ would be the face of ‘my’ company!”

In the middle of that confession, Valentino had started to tear and choke up, letting go of James to wrap his lower arms around himself in a hug, his upper hands dropping his phone to the ground to cover his face in shame.

"I know it hurts, I know. But it's important. It means you're still human. You still feel bad and want to be better. You want to make amends for the horrible things you did. As long as you feel that way truly and you keep to making yourself better... you'll always be worth my time. So don't you ever say you aren't." *James smooched the moth's forehead, looking him in the eyes.*

"I believe just like Charlie that anyone can be redeemed if they want it. Or at the very least, become a version of themselves they don't have to hate. I know you can do it as much as Vox or Vel can. It may take a while, but I know you can." *The fish turns to Lacy and smiles.*

His brain had been running on nothing but guilt and adrenaline since Velvette had found the backlogs.

He had no letter, no preparation on how to even begin to apologize to his Lamby.

Although, he couldn't even call her that any more, huh?

Knowing him, he'd probably just improvise it.

It was now rolling around the afternoon, and his antennae was slick, drooping down the back of his head.

Standing still for the inevitable click of hooves, come near the door.

Have the ram be introduced to the true lying scumbag he was.

Probably watch her be shoved into whatever the current situation was surrounding him, James, the ranch, the hotel.

Hell wasn't quiet for long afterall.

He took in a breath and relaxed his shaking form, wings unfolding around him and staying open, his lower and upper arms going behind his back.

Now he was either anticipating James coming back from his vacation before the ram and giving him an earful, or the ram coming in before James, dropping off the pastries to Ethan and making Valentino take responsibility for EVERYTHING he'd done and explain himself.

Because Velvette’s summaries couldn't even cover half the fucked up shit he's done down in this pit.

"Hey Val..."

*Said a gentle voice coming from the door. It was James. He was... weirdly calm hearing after hearing all he had to from Velvette and the VeeTek post.*

"I really should be surprised by what I heard but... yeah no, I know how you guys used to operate before you had me bailing you out from yourselves. But that was before I was having you do mandatory redemption sooo... yeah, I won't bee too hard on that. But still, dick move dude. Now, I want you to go and apologize and explain the TRUTH to that lady you lied to. I swear, it's like you all want to be metaphorically caniballized by Hell down here." *A tired sigh escapes his mouth as he sits next to Valentino, giving him a side hug.*

“I.. Mhm. Yeah, thank you, Jamesy.”

Valentino stood to attention, either knocking off James or lifting him up with him depending on the fishes grip strength when the doors slid open.

Hooves muffled by the carpet of the entryway, here enters a fluffy ram, carrying a cardboard box full of sweet treats and leaving them on the desk, before turning to face the moth.

“Sugarloaf.”

She directed at Valentino.

“Hii... Lamby.”

Surely, what could their first post be-

... then Velvette did what she does best, find people from ages ago.

"Mmmm, Hi Emily! Papa Pen Pen has been taking good care of me. It's so nice on this beach." *The fish goes to hug Emily before they join Pentious under the umbrella.*

"His eggs are so cute~! I'm gonna make stuffies of them when I get home and give them out as prizes in the arcade, there'll be so many egg bois around Hell, hehehe~!"

“Oh hello there James! I am so sorry for last time sweetheart, but Miss Sera's dealing with the big scary birdie, okay? She will not be bothering us today.”

Emily reciprocated the hugs, squeezing him back.

“Well I am so happy that Pen-Pen's been taking such good care of you, and your little egg boi idea sounds so adorable! I'm sure the people of Hell will love it, Has he been behaving, Pentious?”

“Why Yesss! He has! We went to a market just before this, and the fellow winners had such a wonderful time meeting him, although, there was a moment when he stepped out for a bit, something seemed to annoy him, but we soon got him feeling better, didn't we, Vark?”

"Perks of being an aquatic sinner, I can breath underwater and swim easily!"

*As he's enjoying himself, he stops when he notices a figure from under the water. He stops, curious as to what it is, when it suddenly pops up in his face. It was... a cubical axolotl?"

"Eee!"

"Suddenly, four more pop up around him, all in different colors. They stare at him, before nuzzling and continuing to swim around him."

"WHOA! Hey Emily, Pen Pen, look! I have new powers, I have axolotl buddies to swim with!"

Of course she'd think it's the real life version of one, Emily got on her knees, putting her hand out for it to paw at.

“Fascinating! Getting powers once you become a winner? My, your talent keeps evolving, James!”

*James smiles more and continues swimming, holding one of the axolotl in his arms and gently petting its head.*

"Mmm... I dunno if I can do much with them... but they're nice to have either way." *He heads out of the water with his Axolotl back under the umbrella with the angel and his winner papa.*

"You know they can regenerate limbs and are predators despite how cute they look? I wonder..."

*James stops for a second to conjure up a few bubbles in the water. He motions his axolotl buddies to attack, and they go at it, headbutting and attacking the bubbles with all their might. Once they popped, they returned, giving a cute axolotl noise in response.*

"I guess they can be used for protection too. But only in water, I dunno if they can do much on land."

Emily squealed, covering her face and kicking her legs in the air.

*James smiles as he notices Emily fangirling hard. He giggles a bit and pets her to relax.*

Emily lifted up James and Sir Pentious, forgetting they too could also fly, then flew off toward the front gates.

"Mmmm, Hi Emily! Papa Pen Pen has been taking good care of me. It's so nice on this beach." *The fish goes to hug Emily before they join Pentious under the umbrella.*

"His eggs are so cute~! I'm gonna make stuffies of them when I get home and give them out as prizes in the arcade, there'll be so many egg bois around Hell, hehehe~!"

“Oh hello there James! I am so sorry for last time sweetheart, but Miss Sera's dealing with the big scary birdie, okay? She will not be bothering us today.”

Emily reciprocated the hugs, squeezing him back.

“Well I am so happy that Pen-Pen's been taking such good care of you, and your little egg boi idea sounds so adorable! I'm sure the people of Hell will love it, Has he been behaving, Pentious?”

“Why Yesss! He has! We went to a market just before this, and the fellow winners had such a wonderful time meeting him, although, there was a moment when he stepped out for a bit, something seemed to annoy him, but we soon got him feeling better, didn't we, Vark?”

"Perks of being an aquatic sinner, I can breath underwater and swim easily!"

*As he's enjoying himself, he stops when he notices a figure from under the water. He stops, curious as to what it is, when it suddenly pops up in his face. It was... a cubical axolotl?"

"Eee!"

"Suddenly, four more pop up around him, all in different colors. They stare at him, before nuzzling and continuing to swim around him."

"WHOA! Hey Emily, Pen Pen, look! I have new powers, I have axolotl buddies to swim with!"

Of course she'd think it's the real life version of one, Emily got on her knees, putting her hand out for it to paw at.

“Fascinating! Getting powers once you become a winner? My, your talent keeps evolving, James!”

*James smiles more and continues swimming, holding one of the axolotl in his arms and gently petting its head.*

"Mmm... I dunno if I can do much with them... but they're nice to have either way." *He heads out of the water with his Axolotl back under the umbrella with the angel and his winner papa.*

"You know they can regenerate limbs and are predators despite how cute they look? I wonder..."

*James stops for a second to conjure up a few bubbles in the water. He motions his axolotl buddies to attack, and they go at it, headbutting and attacking the bubbles with all their might. Once they popped, they returned, giving a cute axolotl noise in response.*

"I guess they can be used for protection too. But only in water, I dunno if they can do much on land."

Emily squealed, covering her face and kicking her legs in the air.

*James smiles as he notices Emily fangirling hard. He giggles a bit and pets her to relax.*

"Mmmm, Hi Emily! Papa Pen Pen has been taking good care of me. It's so nice on this beach." *The fish goes to hug Emily before they join Pentious under the umbrella.*

"His eggs are so cute~! I'm gonna make stuffies of them when I get home and give them out as prizes in the arcade, there'll be so many egg bois around Hell, hehehe~!"

“Oh hello there James! I am so sorry for last time sweetheart, but Miss Sera's dealing with the big scary birdie, okay? She will not be bothering us today.”

Emily reciprocated the hugs, squeezing him back.

“Well I am so happy that Pen-Pen's been taking such good care of you, and your little egg boi idea sounds so adorable! I'm sure the people of Hell will love it, Has he been behaving, Pentious?”

“Why Yesss! He has! We went to a market just before this, and the fellow winners had such a wonderful time meeting him, although, there was a moment when he stepped out for a bit, something seemed to annoy him, but we soon got him feeling better, didn't we, Vark?”

"Perks of being an aquatic sinner, I can breath underwater and swim easily!"

*As he's enjoying himself, he stops when he notices a figure from under the water. He stops, curious as to what it is, when it suddenly pops up in his face. It was... a cubical axolotl?"

"Eee!"

"Suddenly, four more pop up around him, all in different colors. They stare at him, before nuzzling and continuing to swim around him."

"WHOA! Hey Emily, Pen Pen, look! I have new powers, I have axolotl buddies to swim with!"

Of course she'd think it's the real life version of one, Emily got on her knees, putting her hand out for it to paw at.

“Fascinating! Getting powers once you become a winner? My, your talent keeps evolving, James!”

*James smiles more and continues swimming, holding one of the axolotl in his arms and gently petting its head.*

"Mmm... I dunno if I can do much with them... but they're nice to have either way." *He heads out of the water with his Axolotl back under the umbrella with the angel and his winner papa.*

"You know they can regenerate limbs and are predators despite how cute they look? I wonder..."

*James stops for a second to conjure up a few bubbles in the water. He motions his axolotl buddies to attack, and they go at it, headbutting and attacking the bubbles with all their might. Once they popped, they returned, giving a cute axolotl noise in response.*

"I guess they can be used for protection too. But only in water, I dunno if they can do much on land."

"Mmmm, Hi Emily! Papa Pen Pen has been taking good care of me. It's so nice on this beach." *The fish goes to hug Emily before they join Pentious under the umbrella.*

"His eggs are so cute~! I'm gonna make stuffies of them when I get home and give them out as prizes in the arcade, there'll be so many egg bois around Hell, hehehe~!"

“Oh hello there James! I am so sorry for last time sweetheart, but Miss Sera's dealing with the big scary birdie, okay? She will not be bothering us today.”

Emily reciprocated the hugs, squeezing him back.

“Well I am so happy that Pen-Pen's been taking such good care of you, and your little egg boi idea sounds so adorable! I'm sure the people of Hell will love it, Has he been behaving, Pentious?”

“Why Yesss! He has! We went to a market just before this, and the fellow winners had such a wonderful time meeting him, although, there was a moment when he stepped out for a bit, something seemed to annoy him, but we soon got him feeling better, didn't we, Vark?”

"Perks of being an aquatic sinner, I can breath underwater and swim easily!"

*As he's enjoying himself, he stops when he notices a figure from under the water. He stops, curious as to what it is, when it suddenly pops up in his face. It was... a cubical axolotl?"

"Eee!"

"Suddenly, four more pop up around him, all in different colors. They stare at him, before nuzzling and continuing to swim around him."

"WHOA! Hey Emily, Pen Pen, look! I have new powers, I have axolotl buddies to swim with!"

*As Lute had stormed off into Hell, Sera and Emily of course had to go after her in her outfit to prevent a catastrophe from occuring. Not without Emily letting Satan know, to which he was quick to be on the case. Not that it's hard to find a flying exorcist, a few people noticing and watching in fear... before Satan was quick to chain her up and get her onto the ground somewhere safe, the seraphs quickly catching up as Satan looks down at her.*

"Are you... just genuinely an idiot? Are you aware... of ANYTHING that has happened these past few years. The exterminations are DONE. Your presence here, is DONE. Adam... is NOT. HERE. Are you trying to start another uprising riling people up flying down here? Cause that's what you're gonna get!" *He exclaimed in an angered tone, looking over at the Seraphs with disappointment.*

"I understand things are pretty hectic up in Heaven with all this new information, but I expected after she nearly got us all BLOWN UP with her outburst, you could control her better. But clearly, I was mistaken. So let me make something very, VERY clear. I am only giving you grace once out of the courtesy of my heart to leave. Put your dog on a leash, get it trained, and make sure this does not happen again. If it does, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand Lute. I will not have you and your little revenge fantasy for Adam ruin any chance this place has of a better future. Save your deathwish for someone else. Now"

"DANGER TIIIIITS-!"

*...What? That couldn't be. Surely that was some wind or something. But no! Standing behind them, a look of absolute shock and horror adorned their faces. It was Adam. That figure couldn't be mistaken. But... he was different. Way different this time. His attire was all red and black, a far cry from his angelic vestments. He has this massive, red tail on him and the mask... it was hard to say whether it was truly a mask or purely his face.*

"Finally you came back for me, about-"

*Satan grabs him immediately and pulls him to his face.*

"Buddy, I don't know what sick JOKE you think this is, but I don't find it funny dressing up like him. Take off that goddamn costume before I tear you in half."

"Agh! It's not a costume you friggin beast! I'm the real deal!"

"Prove it. Say something only Adam would know."

"Easy! Lute was the first one I hired for the Exorcist role, followed by Branda, Ella, and another angel named Xandra! Only me, Sera, and Lute know this!"

*Lute and Sera nods along. Seems to be good enough proof. Neither of them would let any random sinner know that information for a prank, and finding that out would be next to impossible for a normal one. He lets Adam go, the first man brushing himself off.*

"What's got you in a twist, christ!"

"Probably your dog here flying about and causing a ruckus, oh and YOU BEING ALIVE DESPITE US SEEING YOU DIE."

"Yeah, funny thing about that. About... a month ago or something, I just woke up randomly down here like this. I dunno why, I think the big man just wanted me to get a second chance running you guys into the dirt. So anyways, I'm gonna go now, see you in... whenever I feel like it-"

*He sees the portal to Heaven behind Sera and Emily and tries entering it. But... it repulses him.*

"...Not funny you two, let me in."

*Again, he tries... but it repulses him. He enters it as much as he can, but he CANNOT enter heaven, no matter how hard he tries.*

"What the fuck? Are you two pulling my leg, this isn't fucking funny you know."

Emily just got face to face with him, sighing before realizing that somewhere in Lute's head, her fantasy feeling was correct.

So she began talking.

“Adam... It- it's going to be a lot... To explain, but... Uhm... I think you're-”

“sinner.”

Lute had sat herself up, still chained, wings hurting like all hell, her head rushing with deja vu.

“You're a filthy... God-damned sinner now?...”

She couldn't look at him, that wasn't the Adam she knew, it couldn't be. She still had his halo wrapped around her wrist. He was too perfect to be a sinner. God's muse, the first man.

Sera just started helping her out with the chains, covering Lute's mouth in the process.

“Yeah... I, I think... The Lord reviewed your... Case? What you... Did... To hell. A souls a soul.”

Sera eventually got Lute untangled and helped her stand, allowing Emily to continue talking.

“I think.. The exterminations, what you did to Charlie... Killing Pentious and breaking the ‘not allowed to harm hellborns’ aka.. Charlie, contract... Along with your death. Made God... Re-judge you?...”

She was honestly just speculating.

"What? I'm being straightforward and honest. Stop being nice to this prick, that's how he got to be a spoiled brat in the first place-.

"Dont' you talk to me like that you bitch, I am THE Adam, I can fucking smite you-"

"Yeah I doubt it. Sin of Wrath outranks you in power. Suck it." *Satan flicks him away, making him tumble backwards a bit.*

"Makes sense for all this. If we could get Pentious and James to redeem, it only makes sense someone can fall if they fall to sin. So congrats, welcome to Hell. Now I'd be more than happy to let you run around and be out of my hair, but quite frankly I don't trust you to not start trying to go on a murdering spree. As well as that, considering how people feel about you down here, you're liable to get yourself injured painfully, and I don't want Heaven seeing you get bodied and starting another goddamn scandal. Dad knows your accomplice over there has already done more than enough in that department."

"Danger tiiits! It's meee! Adam! Help me out already, cut this stupid ass Dragon's head off and let's get-"

*Satan immediately smacks Adam on the back of the head painfully.*

"OW, WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

"Giving you a ass kicking nobody up there clearly had the balls to do. You think it's bad now? You think getting stabbed to death by that psycho maid was bad? Wait until every single sinner and hellborn down here wants to take a piece of your head off. You can't die, but it'll hurt. BAD. Regenerating after a firefight or getting your limbs hacked off isn't fun. And if you get killed by angelic power? You're done for real. So, here's the deal. Since I can't trust you to handle yourself and to save us a scandal and salvage SOMETHING from this, I have to send you to the one place that can redeem people like you..."

"NO."

"You will."

"I AM NOT GOING TO THAT SUCKASS HOTEL AND HAVING PRINCESS FUCKWAD AND HER TRAITOR GIRLFRIEND TRY AND REDEEM ME. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR HOTEL, AND FUCK-"

*Satan immediately stops him in his tracks, chaining him up as well before delivering another slap to his face.*

"I am done hearing every pathetic ass excuse out of your sorry mouth. I do not give a SHIT who you are. Down here, you're a sinner like the rest of us. You wanna get back up there? You go the hard way like we all do. Nobody is gonna cut you slack or make excuses cause you were the first."

"But-"

"BUT NOTHING. You are gonna march over to that hotel with me, you're gonna make nice with everyone there, and you are gonna behave yourself. Or do I need to start using you as a punching bag to get some sense into you?"

"WAIT WAIT... f-fine! Jeez, calm down, I'll do it... just... stop hitting me!"

*Satan lets down Adam pathetically.*

Sera spoke, letting go of Lute.

“I'm sure the Queen will have a difficult time with him there, especially with the turmoil he's caused to her and Vaggi. And, the last time I checked, it was at full capacity, is it not?”

Emily quickly moved back and took ahold of Lute.

“I know Charlie is a phenomenal woman, I'm sure she'd get him accommodations near the hotel if it is full. Then one of us would need to be able to visit him and make sure nothing is wrong.”

Sera put her hands together in front of Satan.

"...Kinda makes me feel like you're rolling out the red carpet for me with all this being said."

"Don't get your head twisted, we're doing this for your safety and the peace between the realms more than anything else. And I don't need to say this... but behave yourself. For your own sake. Trust me... you don't want to know the kinds of things people can stoop to for revenge and bloodlust."

"Yeah, which is why I prefer killing them so nobody gets hurt."

"Yeah well the exterminations are off anyways, we got people redeeming now."

"Wait, like for real? I thought that was all bullshit Chaggie or whatever made up."

"Charlie."

"Well whatever, shit I guess Dad was right about it all along."

"What?"

"Right, so Dad kind of put me in charge of finding a way to redeem people before I started the exterminations, but I thought it was kind of bullshit, so I figured it was better to just start killing them. Also, Hate everyone here. Lucifer stole one of my wives and I'm pretty sure fucked another one, so I still want his head on a pike for that. I would've totally killed him if I wasn't under contract to just do the sinners."

"SO YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME REDEMPTION WAS POSSIBLE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE TO SATISFY YOUR STUPID ASS GRUDGE AND BLOODLUST WITH A MAN WHO WAS ALREADY THE MOST HATED MAN IN EXISTENCE?!"

"Sheesh, I said I didn't believe it. I mean... I didn't really try, but I had more important things to do, like banging chicks and being in a band."

*Satan quickly started banging his head against a building, causing cracks to appear in it as he groans loudly.*

"WHY... Did you let this MANCHILD run things Sera you absolute... GRGH. This is why I left, if I saw my soldier doing this, they'd be torn in half instantly. You really, REALLY need to start whooping your people's asses more when you see shit like this. Metaphorically, literally, I don't care. Just... just... leave. Leave with Lute, make sure she doesn't come back down here and make sure she's... actually mentally competent. I'll... take this THING to Charlie. And for the love of everything that is good in this universe do not open your mouth anymore to say any more dumb shit and do not mention that... ENLIGHTENING FACT to anyone or I will cut out your tongue and eat it raw."

“I... I am going to have a very. Long talk with the Speaker... About my authority, about ALL OF THIS. Oh my head hurts... Please let us know what Charlie says.”

Sera took Lute by the non-haloed wrist and brought her through the portal.

“I will focus on calming down the people of heaven... And trying to help Lute out with... Whatever that was on the courtyard, I think your death really messed her up, Adam.”

Emily then quickly contacted Charlie.

“I've let her know the basics, I'll leave the rest up to you... And give Vaggi enough time to hide or... Defend? Whichever, Bye Bye Satan! I'll have James back down in no time!”

"Congratulations, we have our first case of someone who fell looking for redemption. Bad news-"

"Shut up."

"How about you get bent you prideful prick, you put Lucifer to shame I swear."

"Don't compare me to that wife-stealing prick!"

"I'll do what I damn well please, you ain't nothing more than a sinner with added history boy, and you better start behaving like it if you like your head on your shoulders. You ain't gonna get another chance if someone kills you."

"Ngh... fine. I'll be nice. May I please... stay and be redeemed... *ugh*... Queen Morningstar?"

"Don't worry, he'll be on his best behavior. And he's told me he's just absolutely thrilled to have me help him relearn things if he forgets." *Satan said in a gleefully dark tone, cracking his knuckles as Adam gulps nervously.*

"Please save me from the big scary fuck off dragon."

"Awwww, you were talking so much shit a second ago, why are you all scared now? Surely I would be no match for the first man~?"

"Please Charlie, I promise I won't ever insult you or your hot as fuck girlfriend if you keep me safe from him-!"

Vaggi kept her spear at the ready, just in case.

“Babe. Look at me.. So carefully right now. I know these are the stakes we have to take with redemption. But he will die in the first day in the hotel.”

“Yeah... Thats why I thought this was a joke.”

Charlie just took a breath.

“So... Ooookay. Give me a second, Vaggi, here, take my card and buy that fairly big apartment complex near the hotel. I need to get Baxter to update the Hotel's website when he gets the chance.”

“Right, thanks babe, love you, stay safe, don't get tricked.”

Vaggi kissed Charlie on the cheek, taking her card and flying out the door.

“In the meantime... Adam. You are such a moronic case I have on my hands, so this is what's gonna happen, okay? You WILL be joining the remedial trust exercises I have, and the therapy sessions I appoint you too. You will either have a bus come and pick you up and take you to the hotel, free of charge, or I will come to collect you, no one else.”

She pulled on his chain, making this next part really clear, leaning in.

"I figured so. I'll make sure to have guards with him 24/7 for protection's sake. I know you all hate him, but killing him is just asking for trouble with Heaven and we don't need that. We gotta be nice and treat him like any other sinner looking for redemption."

"I'll... give you this. I didn't think it was possible. But you redeemed people. So... shit, I guess you win. Well played Morningstar... well played. Beat the big man. Still hate your father though... he stole my wife that's... that's just not cool man, that's a bro code violation."

"...Okay, fair enough that's ACTUALLY a decent reason one would have to hate someone."

"...But I guess it didn't go to waste. I mean... he made you. And you're like a thousand times more competent than he ever was. So... whatever, I guess. I can find other women down here..."

"...Good enough I suppose. See, isn't it nice to not be a dick 24/7?"

"It'll be nice when I don't have a target on my back all the time."

"Well after the body count you've accrued, that's gonna be hard."

"Ugh... BARTENDER. I want the strongest thing you have, I need to get hammered hard right now..."

*He hits the bar with Husk... however that would go. Meanwhile, Satan contacts James, who was in the store currently with Pentious. He took it outside to answer alone.*

"Yeah? Is this important?"

"Sort of..."

*One explanation later...*

"Ah... I had a feeling that might happen."

"You did?"

"A hunch I guess... I mean, if people can go up, only natural they can go down too. That's how you all got there, right?"

"...Yeah checks out. Anyways uh... look, keeping him busy is a good idea so he doesn't... be himself, so apart from hanging around the hotel, can he come work for you or something?"

"Him? You fu... you kidding me?" *James laughs a bit, hushing himself so as to not swear or make himself seen in a realm like this.*

"Look, Charlie, Satan, I love you two, but that is asking ALOT. I already have a bratty TV prince and a Moth who... I don't even need to reiterate what he did... trying to redeem themselves. Trying to keep them from killing themselves with their actions and actually being better is one thing. This is entirely different. I'm not a miracle worker, there is no way I can have him work for me and not immediately tank my reputation or put him in the line of fire, or both. I'd be crucified by Hell, first metaphorically, then literally."

"We can back you up, we can... maybe get him to do something behind the scenes."

"No, it's just... too risky right now. Right now, it's best you just... fix him up best he can until we can be assured he's in a safe space to where I CAN have him work for me. Once we get there, I'll see if I can find somewhere for him. If that's even possible. Now, if you excuse me, I'm trying to take a mental health break up here..."

*James hangs up, leaving them alone with their thoughts and Adam. They shrugged and sighed. This was... going to be their hardest challenge yet. Adam, The First Man. How do you take a man like that and redeem him? Only time will tell...*

Adam has Joined the Ranch!

*As Lute had stormed off into Hell, Sera and Emily of course had to go after her in her outfit to prevent a catastrophe from occuring. Not without Emily letting Satan know, to which he was quick to be on the case. Not that it's hard to find a flying exorcist, a few people noticing and watching in fear... before Satan was quick to chain her up and get her onto the ground somewhere safe, the seraphs quickly catching up as Satan looks down at her.*

"Are you... just genuinely an idiot? Are you aware... of ANYTHING that has happened these past few years. The exterminations are DONE. Your presence here, is DONE. Adam... is NOT. HERE. Are you trying to start another uprising riling people up flying down here? Cause that's what you're gonna get!" *He exclaimed in an angered tone, looking over at the Seraphs with disappointment.*

"I understand things are pretty hectic up in Heaven with all this new information, but I expected after she nearly got us all BLOWN UP with her outburst, you could control her better. But clearly, I was mistaken. So let me make something very, VERY clear. I am only giving you grace once out of the courtesy of my heart to leave. Put your dog on a leash, get it trained, and make sure this does not happen again. If it does, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand Lute. I will not have you and your little revenge fantasy for Adam ruin any chance this place has of a better future. Save your deathwish for someone else. Now"

"DANGER TIIIIITS-!"

*...What? That couldn't be. Surely that was some wind or something. But no! Standing behind them, a look of absolute shock and horror adorned their faces. It was Adam. That figure couldn't be mistaken. But... he was different. Way different this time. His attire was all red and black, a far cry from his angelic vestments. He has this massive, red tail on him and the mask... it was hard to say whether it was truly a mask or purely his face.*

"Finally you came back for me, about-"

*Satan grabs him immediately and pulls him to his face.*

"Buddy, I don't know what sick JOKE you think this is, but I don't find it funny dressing up like him. Take off that goddamn costume before I tear you in half."

"Agh! It's not a costume you friggin beast! I'm the real deal!"

"Prove it. Say something only Adam would know."

"Easy! Lute was the first one I hired for the Exorcist role, followed by Branda, Ella, and another angel named Xandra! Only me, Sera, and Lute know this!"

*Lute and Sera nods along. Seems to be good enough proof. Neither of them would let any random sinner know that information for a prank, and finding that out would be next to impossible for a normal one. He lets Adam go, the first man brushing himself off.*

"What's got you in a twist, christ!"

"Probably your dog here flying about and causing a ruckus, oh and YOU BEING ALIVE DESPITE US SEEING YOU DIE."

"Yeah, funny thing about that. About... a month ago or something, I just woke up randomly down here like this. I dunno why, I think the big man just wanted me to get a second chance running you guys into the dirt. So anyways, I'm gonna go now, see you in... whenever I feel like it-"

*He sees the portal to Heaven behind Sera and Emily and tries entering it. But... it repulses him.*

"...Not funny you two, let me in."

*Again, he tries... but it repulses him. He enters it as much as he can, but he CANNOT enter heaven, no matter how hard he tries.*

"What the fuck? Are you two pulling my leg, this isn't fucking funny you know."

Emily just got face to face with him, sighing before realizing that somewhere in Lute's head, her fantasy feeling was correct.

So she began talking.

“Adam... It- it's going to be a lot... To explain, but... Uhm... I think you're-”

“sinner.”

Lute had sat herself up, still chained, wings hurting like all hell, her head rushing with deja vu.

“You're a filthy... God-damned sinner now?...”

She couldn't look at him, that wasn't the Adam she knew, it couldn't be. She still had his halo wrapped around her wrist. He was too perfect to be a sinner. God's muse, the first man.

Sera just started helping her out with the chains, covering Lute's mouth in the process.

“Yeah... I, I think... The Lord reviewed your... Case? What you... Did... To hell. A souls a soul.”

Sera eventually got Lute untangled and helped her stand, allowing Emily to continue talking.

“I think.. The exterminations, what you did to Charlie... Killing Pentious and breaking the ‘not allowed to harm hellborns’ aka.. Charlie, contract... Along with your death. Made God... Re-judge you?...”

She was honestly just speculating.

"What? I'm being straightforward and honest. Stop being nice to this prick, that's how he got to be a spoiled brat in the first place-.

"Dont' you talk to me like that you bitch, I am THE Adam, I can fucking smite you-"

"Yeah I doubt it. Sin of Wrath outranks you in power. Suck it." *Satan flicks him away, making him tumble backwards a bit.*

"Makes sense for all this. If we could get Pentious and James to redeem, it only makes sense someone can fall if they fall to sin. So congrats, welcome to Hell. Now I'd be more than happy to let you run around and be out of my hair, but quite frankly I don't trust you to not start trying to go on a murdering spree. As well as that, considering how people feel about you down here, you're liable to get yourself injured painfully, and I don't want Heaven seeing you get bodied and starting another goddamn scandal. Dad knows your accomplice over there has already done more than enough in that department."

"Danger tiiits! It's meee! Adam! Help me out already, cut this stupid ass Dragon's head off and let's get-"

*Satan immediately smacks Adam on the back of the head painfully.*

"OW, WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

"Giving you a ass kicking nobody up there clearly had the balls to do. You think it's bad now? You think getting stabbed to death by that psycho maid was bad? Wait until every single sinner and hellborn down here wants to take a piece of your head off. You can't die, but it'll hurt. BAD. Regenerating after a firefight or getting your limbs hacked off isn't fun. And if you get killed by angelic power? You're done for real. So, here's the deal. Since I can't trust you to handle yourself and to save us a scandal and salvage SOMETHING from this, I have to send you to the one place that can redeem people like you..."

"NO."

"You will."

"I AM NOT GOING TO THAT SUCKASS HOTEL AND HAVING PRINCESS FUCKWAD AND HER TRAITOR GIRLFRIEND TRY AND REDEEM ME. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR HOTEL, AND FUCK-"

*Satan immediately stops him in his tracks, chaining him up as well before delivering another slap to his face.*

"I am done hearing every pathetic ass excuse out of your sorry mouth. I do not give a SHIT who you are. Down here, you're a sinner like the rest of us. You wanna get back up there? You go the hard way like we all do. Nobody is gonna cut you slack or make excuses cause you were the first."

"But-"

"BUT NOTHING. You are gonna march over to that hotel with me, you're gonna make nice with everyone there, and you are gonna behave yourself. Or do I need to start using you as a punching bag to get some sense into you?"

"WAIT WAIT... f-fine! Jeez, calm down, I'll do it... just... stop hitting me!"

*Satan lets down Adam pathetically.*

Sera spoke, letting go of Lute.

“I'm sure the Queen will have a difficult time with him there, especially with the turmoil he's caused to her and Vaggi. And, the last time I checked, it was at full capacity, is it not?”

Emily quickly moved back and took ahold of Lute.

“I know Charlie is a phenomenal woman, I'm sure she'd get him accommodations near the hotel if it is full. Then one of us would need to be able to visit him and make sure nothing is wrong.”

Sera put her hands together in front of Satan.

"...Kinda makes me feel like you're rolling out the red carpet for me with all this being said."

"Don't get your head twisted, we're doing this for your safety and the peace between the realms more than anything else. And I don't need to say this... but behave yourself. For your own sake. Trust me... you don't want to know the kinds of things people can stoop to for revenge and bloodlust."

"Yeah, which is why I prefer killing them so nobody gets hurt."

"Yeah well the exterminations are off anyways, we got people redeeming now."

"Wait, like for real? I thought that was all bullshit Chaggie or whatever made up."

"Charlie."

"Well whatever, shit I guess Dad was right about it all along."

"What?"

"Right, so Dad kind of put me in charge of finding a way to redeem people before I started the exterminations, but I thought it was kind of bullshit, so I figured it was better to just start killing them. Also, Hate everyone here. Lucifer stole one of my wives and I'm pretty sure fucked another one, so I still want his head on a pike for that. I would've totally killed him if I wasn't under contract to just do the sinners."

"SO YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME REDEMPTION WAS POSSIBLE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE TO SATISFY YOUR STUPID ASS GRUDGE AND BLOODLUST WITH A MAN WHO WAS ALREADY THE MOST HATED MAN IN EXISTENCE?!"

"Sheesh, I said I didn't believe it. I mean... I didn't really try, but I had more important things to do, like banging chicks and being in a band."

*Satan quickly started banging his head against a building, causing cracks to appear in it as he groans loudly.*

"WHY... Did you let this MANCHILD run things Sera you absolute... GRGH. This is why I left, if I saw my soldier doing this, they'd be torn in half instantly. You really, REALLY need to start whooping your people's asses more when you see shit like this. Metaphorically, literally, I don't care. Just... just... leave. Leave with Lute, make sure she doesn't come back down here and make sure she's... actually mentally competent. I'll... take this THING to Charlie. And for the love of everything that is good in this universe do not open your mouth anymore to say any more dumb shit and do not mention that... ENLIGHTENING FACT to anyone or I will cut out your tongue and eat it raw."

“I... I am going to have a very. Long talk with the Speaker... About my authority, about ALL OF THIS. Oh my head hurts... Please let us know what Charlie says.”

Sera took Lute by the non-haloed wrist and brought her through the portal.

“I will focus on calming down the people of heaven... And trying to help Lute out with... Whatever that was on the courtyard, I think your death really messed her up, Adam.”

Emily then quickly contacted Charlie.

“I've let her know the basics, I'll leave the rest up to you... And give Vaggi enough time to hide or... Defend? Whichever, Bye Bye Satan! I'll have James back down in no time!”

"Congratulations, we have our first case of someone who fell looking for redemption. Bad news-"

"Shut up."

"How about you get bent you prideful prick, you put Lucifer to shame I swear."

"Don't compare me to that wife-stealing prick!"

"I'll do what I damn well please, you ain't nothing more than a sinner with added history boy, and you better start behaving like it if you like your head on your shoulders. You ain't gonna get another chance if someone kills you."

"Ngh... fine. I'll be nice. May I please... stay and be redeemed... *ugh*... Queen Morningstar?"

"Don't worry, he'll be on his best behavior. And he's told me he's just absolutely thrilled to have me help him relearn things if he forgets." *Satan said in a gleefully dark tone, cracking his knuckles as Adam gulps nervously.*

"Please save me from the big scary fuck off dragon."

"Awwww, you were talking so much shit a second ago, why are you all scared now? Surely I would be no match for the first man~?"

"Please Charlie, I promise I won't ever insult you or your hot as fuck girlfriend if you keep me safe from him-!"

*As Lute had stormed off into Hell, Sera and Emily of course had to go after her in her outfit to prevent a catastrophe from occuring. Not without Emily letting Satan know, to which he was quick to be on the case. Not that it's hard to find a flying exorcist, a few people noticing and watching in fear... before Satan was quick to chain her up and get her onto the ground somewhere safe, the seraphs quickly catching up as Satan looks down at her.*

"Are you... just genuinely an idiot? Are you aware... of ANYTHING that has happened these past few years. The exterminations are DONE. Your presence here, is DONE. Adam... is NOT. HERE. Are you trying to start another uprising riling people up flying down here? Cause that's what you're gonna get!" *He exclaimed in an angered tone, looking over at the Seraphs with disappointment.*

"I understand things are pretty hectic up in Heaven with all this new information, but I expected after she nearly got us all BLOWN UP with her outburst, you could control her better. But clearly, I was mistaken. So let me make something very, VERY clear. I am only giving you grace once out of the courtesy of my heart to leave. Put your dog on a leash, get it trained, and make sure this does not happen again. If it does, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand Lute. I will not have you and your little revenge fantasy for Adam ruin any chance this place has of a better future. Save your deathwish for someone else. Now"

"DANGER TIIIIITS-!"

*...What? That couldn't be. Surely that was some wind or something. But no! Standing behind them, a look of absolute shock and horror adorned their faces. It was Adam. That figure couldn't be mistaken. But... he was different. Way different this time. His attire was all red and black, a far cry from his angelic vestments. He has this massive, red tail on him and the mask... it was hard to say whether it was truly a mask or purely his face.*

"Finally you came back for me, about-"

*Satan grabs him immediately and pulls him to his face.*

"Buddy, I don't know what sick JOKE you think this is, but I don't find it funny dressing up like him. Take off that goddamn costume before I tear you in half."

"Agh! It's not a costume you friggin beast! I'm the real deal!"

"Prove it. Say something only Adam would know."

"Easy! Lute was the first one I hired for the Exorcist role, followed by Branda, Ella, and another angel named Xandra! Only me, Sera, and Lute know this!"

*Lute and Sera nods along. Seems to be good enough proof. Neither of them would let any random sinner know that information for a prank, and finding that out would be next to impossible for a normal one. He lets Adam go, the first man brushing himself off.*

"What's got you in a twist, christ!"

"Probably your dog here flying about and causing a ruckus, oh and YOU BEING ALIVE DESPITE US SEEING YOU DIE."

"Yeah, funny thing about that. About... a month ago or something, I just woke up randomly down here like this. I dunno why, I think the big man just wanted me to get a second chance running you guys into the dirt. So anyways, I'm gonna go now, see you in... whenever I feel like it-"

*He sees the portal to Heaven behind Sera and Emily and tries entering it. But... it repulses him.*

"...Not funny you two, let me in."

*Again, he tries... but it repulses him. He enters it as much as he can, but he CANNOT enter heaven, no matter how hard he tries.*

"What the fuck? Are you two pulling my leg, this isn't fucking funny you know."

Emily just got face to face with him, sighing before realizing that somewhere in Lute's head, her fantasy feeling was correct.

So she began talking.

“Adam... It- it's going to be a lot... To explain, but... Uhm... I think you're-”

“sinner.”

Lute had sat herself up, still chained, wings hurting like all hell, her head rushing with deja vu.

“You're a filthy... God-damned sinner now?...”

She couldn't look at him, that wasn't the Adam she knew, it couldn't be. She still had his halo wrapped around her wrist. He was too perfect to be a sinner. God's muse, the first man.

Sera just started helping her out with the chains, covering Lute's mouth in the process.

“Yeah... I, I think... The Lord reviewed your... Case? What you... Did... To hell. A souls a soul.”

Sera eventually got Lute untangled and helped her stand, allowing Emily to continue talking.

“I think.. The exterminations, what you did to Charlie... Killing Pentious and breaking the ‘not allowed to harm hellborns’ aka.. Charlie, contract... Along with your death. Made God... Re-judge you?...”

She was honestly just speculating.

"What? I'm being straightforward and honest. Stop being nice to this prick, that's how he got to be a spoiled brat in the first place-.

"Dont' you talk to me like that you bitch, I am THE Adam, I can fucking smite you-"

"Yeah I doubt it. Sin of Wrath outranks you in power. Suck it." *Satan flicks him away, making him tumble backwards a bit.*

"Makes sense for all this. If we could get Pentious and James to redeem, it only makes sense someone can fall if they fall to sin. So congrats, welcome to Hell. Now I'd be more than happy to let you run around and be out of my hair, but quite frankly I don't trust you to not start trying to go on a murdering spree. As well as that, considering how people feel about you down here, you're liable to get yourself injured painfully, and I don't want Heaven seeing you get bodied and starting another goddamn scandal. Dad knows your accomplice over there has already done more than enough in that department."

"Danger tiiits! It's meee! Adam! Help me out already, cut this stupid ass Dragon's head off and let's get-"

*Satan immediately smacks Adam on the back of the head painfully.*

"OW, WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

"Giving you a ass kicking nobody up there clearly had the balls to do. You think it's bad now? You think getting stabbed to death by that psycho maid was bad? Wait until every single sinner and hellborn down here wants to take a piece of your head off. You can't die, but it'll hurt. BAD. Regenerating after a firefight or getting your limbs hacked off isn't fun. And if you get killed by angelic power? You're done for real. So, here's the deal. Since I can't trust you to handle yourself and to save us a scandal and salvage SOMETHING from this, I have to send you to the one place that can redeem people like you..."

"NO."

"You will."

"I AM NOT GOING TO THAT SUCKASS HOTEL AND HAVING PRINCESS FUCKWAD AND HER TRAITOR GIRLFRIEND TRY AND REDEEM ME. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR HOTEL, AND FUCK-"

*Satan immediately stops him in his tracks, chaining him up as well before delivering another slap to his face.*

"I am done hearing every pathetic ass excuse out of your sorry mouth. I do not give a SHIT who you are. Down here, you're a sinner like the rest of us. You wanna get back up there? You go the hard way like we all do. Nobody is gonna cut you slack or make excuses cause you were the first."

"But-"

"BUT NOTHING. You are gonna march over to that hotel with me, you're gonna make nice with everyone there, and you are gonna behave yourself. Or do I need to start using you as a punching bag to get some sense into you?"

"WAIT WAIT... f-fine! Jeez, calm down, I'll do it... just... stop hitting me!"

*Satan lets down Adam pathetically.*

Sera spoke, letting go of Lute.

“I'm sure the Queen will have a difficult time with him there, especially with the turmoil he's caused to her and Vaggi. And, the last time I checked, it was at full capacity, is it not?”

Emily quickly moved back and took ahold of Lute.

“I know Charlie is a phenomenal woman, I'm sure she'd get him accommodations near the hotel if it is full. Then one of us would need to be able to visit him and make sure nothing is wrong.”

Sera put her hands together in front of Satan.

"...Kinda makes me feel like you're rolling out the red carpet for me with all this being said."

"Don't get your head twisted, we're doing this for your safety and the peace between the realms more than anything else. And I don't need to say this... but behave yourself. For your own sake. Trust me... you don't want to know the kinds of things people can stoop to for revenge and bloodlust."

"Yeah, which is why I prefer killing them so nobody gets hurt."

"Yeah well the exterminations are off anyways, we got people redeeming now."

"Wait, like for real? I thought that was all bullshit Chaggie or whatever made up."

"Charlie."

"Well whatever, shit I guess Dad was right about it all along."

"What?"

"Right, so Dad kind of put me in charge of finding a way to redeem people before I started the exterminations, but I thought it was kind of bullshit, so I figured it was better to just start killing them. Also, Hate everyone here. Lucifer stole one of my wives and I'm pretty sure fucked another one, so I still want his head on a pike for that. I would've totally killed him if I wasn't under contract to just do the sinners."

"SO YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME REDEMPTION WAS POSSIBLE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE TO SATISFY YOUR STUPID ASS GRUDGE AND BLOODLUST WITH A MAN WHO WAS ALREADY THE MOST HATED MAN IN EXISTENCE?!"

"Sheesh, I said I didn't believe it. I mean... I didn't really try, but I had more important things to do, like banging chicks and being in a band."

*Satan quickly started banging his head against a building, causing cracks to appear in it as he groans loudly.*

"WHY... Did you let this MANCHILD run things Sera you absolute... GRGH. This is why I left, if I saw my soldier doing this, they'd be torn in half instantly. You really, REALLY need to start whooping your people's asses more when you see shit like this. Metaphorically, literally, I don't care. Just... just... leave. Leave with Lute, make sure she doesn't come back down here and make sure she's... actually mentally competent. I'll... take this THING to Charlie. And for the love of everything that is good in this universe do not open your mouth anymore to say any more dumb shit and do not mention that... ENLIGHTENING FACT to anyone or I will cut out your tongue and eat it raw."

*As Lute had stormed off into Hell, Sera and Emily of course had to go after her in her outfit to prevent a catastrophe from occuring. Not without Emily letting Satan know, to which he was quick to be on the case. Not that it's hard to find a flying exorcist, a few people noticing and watching in fear... before Satan was quick to chain her up and get her onto the ground somewhere safe, the seraphs quickly catching up as Satan looks down at her.*

"Are you... just genuinely an idiot? Are you aware... of ANYTHING that has happened these past few years. The exterminations are DONE. Your presence here, is DONE. Adam... is NOT. HERE. Are you trying to start another uprising riling people up flying down here? Cause that's what you're gonna get!" *He exclaimed in an angered tone, looking over at the Seraphs with disappointment.*

"I understand things are pretty hectic up in Heaven with all this new information, but I expected after she nearly got us all BLOWN UP with her outburst, you could control her better. But clearly, I was mistaken. So let me make something very, VERY clear. I am only giving you grace once out of the courtesy of my heart to leave. Put your dog on a leash, get it trained, and make sure this does not happen again. If it does, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand Lute. I will not have you and your little revenge fantasy for Adam ruin any chance this place has of a better future. Save your deathwish for someone else. Now"

"DANGER TIIIIITS-!"

*...What? That couldn't be. Surely that was some wind or something. But no! Standing behind them, a look of absolute shock and horror adorned their faces. It was Adam. That figure couldn't be mistaken. But... he was different. Way different this time. His attire was all red and black, a far cry from his angelic vestments. He has this massive, red tail on him and the mask... it was hard to say whether it was truly a mask or purely his face.*

"Finally you came back for me, about-"

*Satan grabs him immediately and pulls him to his face.*

"Buddy, I don't know what sick JOKE you think this is, but I don't find it funny dressing up like him. Take off that goddamn costume before I tear you in half."

"Agh! It's not a costume you friggin beast! I'm the real deal!"

"Prove it. Say something only Adam would know."

"Easy! Lute was the first one I hired for the Exorcist role, followed by Branda, Ella, and another angel named Xandra! Only me, Sera, and Lute know this!"

*Lute and Sera nods along. Seems to be good enough proof. Neither of them would let any random sinner know that information for a prank, and finding that out would be next to impossible for a normal one. He lets Adam go, the first man brushing himself off.*

"What's got you in a twist, christ!"

"Probably your dog here flying about and causing a ruckus, oh and YOU BEING ALIVE DESPITE US SEEING YOU DIE."

"Yeah, funny thing about that. About... a month ago or something, I just woke up randomly down here like this. I dunno why, I think the big man just wanted me to get a second chance running you guys into the dirt. So anyways, I'm gonna go now, see you in... whenever I feel like it-"

*He sees the portal to Heaven behind Sera and Emily and tries entering it. But... it repulses him.*

"...Not funny you two, let me in."

*Again, he tries... but it repulses him. He enters it as much as he can, but he CANNOT enter heaven, no matter how hard he tries.*

"What the fuck? Are you two pulling my leg, this isn't fucking funny you know."

Emily just got face to face with him, sighing before realizing that somewhere in Lute's head, her fantasy feeling was correct.

So she began talking.

“Adam... It- it's going to be a lot... To explain, but... Uhm... I think you're-”

“sinner.”

Lute had sat herself up, still chained, wings hurting like all hell, her head rushing with deja vu.

“You're a filthy... God-damned sinner now?...”

She couldn't look at him, that wasn't the Adam she knew, it couldn't be. She still had his halo wrapped around her wrist. He was too perfect to be a sinner. God's muse, the first man.

Sera just started helping her out with the chains, covering Lute's mouth in the process.

“Yeah... I, I think... The Lord reviewed your... Case? What you... Did... To hell. A souls a soul.”

Sera eventually got Lute untangled and helped her stand, allowing Emily to continue talking.

“I think.. The exterminations, what you did to Charlie... Killing Pentious and breaking the ‘not allowed to harm hellborns’ aka.. Charlie, contract... Along with your death. Made God... Re-judge you?...”

She was honestly just speculating.

"What? I'm being straightforward and honest. Stop being nice to this prick, that's how he got to be a spoiled brat in the first place-.

"Dont' you talk to me like that you bitch, I am THE Adam, I can fucking smite you-"

"Yeah I doubt it. Sin of Wrath outranks you in power. Suck it." *Satan flicks him away, making him tumble backwards a bit.*

"Makes sense for all this. If we could get Pentious and James to redeem, it only makes sense someone can fall if they fall to sin. So congrats, welcome to Hell. Now I'd be more than happy to let you run around and be out of my hair, but quite frankly I don't trust you to not start trying to go on a murdering spree. As well as that, considering how people feel about you down here, you're liable to get yourself injured painfully, and I don't want Heaven seeing you get bodied and starting another goddamn scandal. Dad knows your accomplice over there has already done more than enough in that department."

"Danger tiiits! It's meee! Adam! Help me out already, cut this stupid ass Dragon's head off and let's get-"

*Satan immediately smacks Adam on the back of the head painfully.*

"OW, WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

"Giving you a ass kicking nobody up there clearly had the balls to do. You think it's bad now? You think getting stabbed to death by that psycho maid was bad? Wait until every single sinner and hellborn down here wants to take a piece of your head off. You can't die, but it'll hurt. BAD. Regenerating after a firefight or getting your limbs hacked off isn't fun. And if you get killed by angelic power? You're done for real. So, here's the deal. Since I can't trust you to handle yourself and to save us a scandal and salvage SOMETHING from this, I have to send you to the one place that can redeem people like you..."

"NO."

"You will."

"I AM NOT GOING TO THAT SUCKASS HOTEL AND HAVING PRINCESS FUCKWAD AND HER TRAITOR GIRLFRIEND TRY AND REDEEM ME. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR HOTEL, AND FUCK-"

*Satan immediately stops him in his tracks, chaining him up as well before delivering another slap to his face.*

"I am done hearing every pathetic ass excuse out of your sorry mouth. I do not give a SHIT who you are. Down here, you're a sinner like the rest of us. You wanna get back up there? You go the hard way like we all do. Nobody is gonna cut you slack or make excuses cause you were the first."

"But-"

"BUT NOTHING. You are gonna march over to that hotel with me, you're gonna make nice with everyone there, and you are gonna behave yourself. Or do I need to start using you as a punching bag to get some sense into you?"

"WAIT WAIT... f-fine! Jeez, calm down, I'll do it... just... stop hitting me!"

*Satan lets down Adam pathetically.*