nsfw warnings: yoongi nsfw pov :))), oral (f rec), unprotected, choking, slapping, egging on because it's yoongi, multiple orgasms, ......love making................., protected, multiple rounds bc they're in fuckin' love what can i SAY!, yoongi's mouth is a warning?, reader's reactions are also a warning??, anyway, chains again, and so much care too<33   

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You ignore him and get right to work. And he feels like absolute shit. 

Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you running? Why are you choosing to stay when he’s been nothing but ice cold? 

Garbage bag in hand, you waste no time gathering up his mania. Do you even see the blood? Do you not care about what just happened?

No. It’s not that you don’t care. 

It’s that you care too much. 

Instead of leaving him to drown, you dive in right after him, swimming deeper and deeper and not caring about saving yourself. And as Yoongi can only stand there, he feels unable to move. Unable to breathe. Waiting for you to turn around and go back up for air but you don’t and it’s killing him. 

It’s when you come back with a broom that he finally snaps into action, gripping your hand that holds the handle and exhaling at your hot touch. 

You’re too good to him. “Stop.”

“No.”

Which makes this so fucking hard to watch. “Just go, please.”

“No.”

Fuck. Your stubbornness stabs into his chest. Over, and over, Yoongi can’t bear to have you witness this yet he’s pained just begging you to leave. It’s layers and layers of hurt and frustration but you. Keep. Swimming. 

Don’t drown with him. Don’t follow him into the dark. 

The crinkle of glass surrounds your feet and it’s too much to bear. He can’t even feel his toes he feels so numb, but having you see all of this pains him to no end because he’d been trying so hard to keep this side of himself from your welling eyes. 

How foolish. 

But if you’re gonna stay, at least let him clean his own shit. Aren’t you supposed to be home? At Yuri’s? Your brother is just as cut and banged up as he is, shouldn’t you be there with him instead? “I got it.” 

“Let me do it.” 

“Your brother needs you.”

“Yeah, well, I already tore the fuck into him and I’m gonna do the same to you.” As you yank the broom further from his control, you growl out a command so potent Yoongi can’t even push back, “So sit down.”

Sit down? He’d rather do anything else right now. Kiss you. Make you leave. Grab hold of you and never go anywhere else. 

In the end, he can’t do shit. Because you’re a beautiful tempest and he’s letting your storm run free in his living room. It’s for good, for good, for good. Fuck, everything hurts. This is all for good. 

That is all he can tell himself before dumping his battered body at his dining table. 

With each piece you pick up, one by one, you clean out his wounds, you suck up the pain that’s festered for so long with tear-soaked cheeks and spit it all out with your quiet rage. 

The adrenaline from facing serious injury and possibly something worse still courses through Yoongi’s veins. He can’t even sit still, fidgeting in his chair and raking shaky hands through damp strands. 

With one look at your face scrunched with worry, he can’t take it anymore. You have to leave. You have to, have to, have to. Caging you next to his dining table, he stops your strides with finality. “You’ve done enough.” 

“I still need to—” 

“Just.” He looks away from your tears. “Go home, doll. I can’t do this tonight.” 

“Do what? I’m helping you.” 

If nothing else is working? There is one way to do this. A way that will change how you perceive him and not in a positive light at all. Light would require at least some semblance of warmth or care. This solution is completely void of it. 

It’s only five words. Only six syllables. But all of them sting and poison him on the way out, because this is downright caustic, 

“Who said I needed it?” 

You immediately recoil.

Shit, shit, shit, this isn’t him. This is fucking ludicrous but he can’t stop himself from surging forward with muck on his legs.

“Yoongi, what? Are you serious?” 

“You think I’m joking?” 

“You’re kicking me out? What happened to saying you’d never do that, huh?” 

“I say a lot of things.” 

Fuck. That wasn’t what he…

…Fuck.

Well. That’s it then. You’re smart, way smarter than you give yourself credit for. Which means you’ll pick up on that vibrant red flag he just swung with both arms and abandon him completely tonight. 

Nodding, you look away, shaking your head in a way that tells him he’s two seconds from getting snapped into pieces. And Yoongi knows he damn well deserves it. “You know what? You do say a lot of things.”

Walking away, you start to… organize his things? “Like how perfect I am.” You keep going, shifting things around with a tone so alarming his heart may have beat a little. “And how there’s no one else.” 

After a second, you face him again. And it seems like you are wanting to sling heat around too because you know what you’re saying isn’t true and it’s pissing him off. “Those are just words, too, huh?” 

You are perfect. There is no one else. 

If those were just words he wouldn’t have risked his life to—

What a fucking shit show. He can’t speak of what went down tonight so this is going nowhere. 

With this insane dilemma looming over his head, Yoongi is fully aware his next laugh is anything but nice. “Nah… Not tonight.” 

“Not tonight what.” 

“We aren’t doing this tonight.” 

“The fuck we aren’t. Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere.” Yoongi shifts his head, hiding the very obvious cuts that he’s starting to feel more and more the longer this scathing verbal sparring goes on. “But you’re going home.” 

Laced in this silence, there’s still rage. There’s still passion, and it’s a fine line because he hates himself for getting to this point and he doesn’t understand why you’re still here and won’t leave him. So stubborn, so like him, so unbelievably loyal and good and everything he needs to be. 

But you say something that lights his chest and kicks his brain into gear, because he can’t even believe you continue with complete nonsense, 

“So this is how it happens, huh. Now I’m just like everyone else.” 

Both feet firmly planted and shoulders rising a little higher, Yoongi faces you head on, feeling the most alert he’s been since you rushed in. The fire in his chest licks at his lungs, propelling smoke all the way to his ears. “You’re gonna go there?” 

Your response is immediate. “I am.” 

And it takes everything inside of him to not explode. Treating you like everyone else? You know that’s bullshit. So if you’re just saying all this to fuck with him, it’s fucking working. The only thing he can come back with is a single syllable because if he says anything else, it’s gonna lead to hell fast. “Wow.” 

Suddenly, you dig into the offensive, the chasm between the two of you shaking under the weight of your argument, “You think I wanted to come here? After what all of you did?” 

“Do you even know?” 

“No! But how the fuck would I? You don’t tell me shit!” 

“That’s cus—” 

Fire spews from your lips, scorching everything at his feet and rendering him speechless yet again, “I can take care of myself. But none of you told me about that dude from the court. None of you.” 

Fuck. Yoongi knows this, he’s the one that started this whole conversation in Jimin’s car—

“If I had known? That whole Dalo thing could’ve been avoided and I would’ve ran.” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It’s all coming back. Everything he did led to this, including not telling you shit, and you’re more hurt than he even imagined. The self-loathing has reached a new high, and he can feel blood from where his teeth bite into his tongue. 

Didn’t he just kill the shadow in his room? Why is he still struggling to breathe?

“And today? You know how fucking scared I was? If I… I…” 

Yoongi can’t do anything but stare, and stare, and stare some more. 

He’d been so focused on getting you out of there and keeping everyone safe that he didn’t even think about how afraid you were. How terrified you were after you left in screams and tears that he can still hear ringing about his head. 

“You know what?” Your empty laugh sends shivers to his fingertips. “Forget it. You’re not even listening anyway.”

And Yoongi finally snaps with another flitter of sparks. Because he is and he knows but this isn’t how he wants to speak to you. Not with a canyon of hurt and desperation between your hearts. “I swear to—I just said not tonight.” 

“No, I get it. I do! You want me gone. Sure. See you in three more months.” 

…What? 

No. No, no, no, that’s not what he means. You gotta take him at face value. He just means not tonight so you don’t have to see him at his lowest and he doesn’t want to show this monstrous side of him that’s hurting you all over again. “Are you serious?” 

But why would you take him at face value? Why would you give him any slack right now? He sure as fuck doesn’t deserve it with the way he’s treating you. Fuck, he’s even slipping on things he would never do. What the fuck is wrong with him?  

“Yes, I am. Trying to help you but it looks like you don’t even want that. So good fucking bye.” 

This is what he wants, right? This is what he was fighting you for this entire time? He got what he wanted. You’re going back up for air. 

Now he just has to seal your decision the only way he can. Because nothing else has worked so far and he’s been too cowardly—or just fucking sensical—to go here. 

But with a vice clamped around his lungs, he does. Blackout shutters around his soul, Yoongi utters a sentence he would never, in any other circumstance, ever say to you. A question that sends white hot tears to the corners of his tired eyes. 

“Who asked you?” 

Ice fills the chasm between. 

Your eyes penetrate into the deepest parts of him, staring him down like he’s a stranger and rightfully so because this isn’t him. Fuck, this isn’t—this isn’t him and he is crumbling into ashes at your feet but he can’t bear to let you witness him like this another second. 

When your response shakes, Yoongi feels his heart give out. “Who asked me? Who asked me.” 

This is the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life. “That’s what I said.” 

How is he still on both feet when you’re looking at him like that? Your silence carves out his heart, but this is how to finally get you to leave. To run. To rid yourself of this burden sinking him lower, and lower, and lower.

“You know what? Kiss my ass, Yoongi.” 

Rock bottom. It hurts.

None of the hits he took tonight compare to the anguish this is putting him through. Absolutely nothing will. Yoongi is starting to fight out of his own chains because he can’t stand being in them. 

The damage has already been done but he’s drowning now. Get out. Claw a way out!

Dead silence rings in his ears, reaching a stinging buzz and crashing into the sound of rain and thunder. His body is thrashing out of his mind and clawing a way to the surface. 

But you drift further. And further. And further. The waves between you both crest high and fall fast, and Yoongi’s vision swims as he sways. You’re almost gone. Good. Good. You’re almost gone for good. 

…For good? 

No. No no no, that’s the farthest thing from good fuck fuck fuck. 

Yoongi can’t even recall his body tearing through the ocean of his living room so fast but he’s already at the door, slamming it shut and grasping your body for dear life. It all happens so swiftly that his fingers catch between your back and solid wood, his nails stinging from the pain and his ears ringing from your outright shouting—

“God, what the fuck! I told you to—We didn’t hear from you for hours and I—I didn’t know if you were okay—” 

The heart in his chest plummets with each weak thump of your hands. “Whoa, hold u—” 

“I thought the worst and I—didn’t even get a chance to—I finally told you want I wanted and you—Fuck—” 

Yoongi’s finally alert. He’s awake. He’s staying afloat and now he needs to pull you ashore because you are flailing in your own current of emotion. It takes everything for him to think straight and just get you to— “Just listen—” 

“Don’t ever do that again! I don’t wanna lose you and today was so fucking scary and I’m not, fucking, leaving—” 

Thank god. 

Doing the one thing that may shut you up and quell your worries, Yoongi smashes his lips against yours, pushing into you so hard water leaks from his eyes. Because you still have to go at some point, which means this could be his last taste in a long time. “I swear to—” 

You almost lost him. 

Which means he almost left you behind. 

What the fuck is he doing fighting you?

Anger from today and frustration with himself seize the reins, and he yanks you back to have you against another wall. There’s madness skimming along his bones and firing in his bloodstream. And Yoongi welcomes all the energy you’re unleashing in return, raking through his hair and his skin and blowing his eyes all the way out. 

He doesn’t even recognize his voice as he rips out a question, “Can’t fucking listen, can you?” 

“No.”  

When you shove him back, Yoongi can feel his soul go obsidian, welcoming the way you tug him into a ravaging kiss, tearing at your clothes because he can’t stand to be even one layer beyond your skin. 

What the fuck is happening? You have to leave. Didn’t he just fight for you to go? What’s his body doing? Suddenly his hand is around your throat and his heart booms at the spark in your eyes. Fuck, he needs you. Fucking hell, why do you have to be so fucking devoted? “Shouldn’t even fucking be here.” 

“When has that ever stopped us.” 

Don’t say shit like that. 

Yoongi drags you backward and into his dining table, careful to not trip you up on the way. As much as he’s relishing your rebellion, there’s a part of him that’s still terrified. “He’s still home.” 

“So?”

“Shouldn’t you—”

“Then kick me out!” His hand lets off your throat now. And for a second, he can’t speak. “For real. Let me go. Fucking do it then.” 

Gripping a bit tighter again, Yoongi gives out of control at your groan. Fucking shit, this is breaking him down so fast and you didn’t even have to do anything. All you had to do was defy his words and call every single fucking bluff he had. 

Because he wanted nothing more than for you to be right here. Nothing else matters. Not the wounds on his body, not the catastrophe of his place, not the thunder and rain outside.  

Only you. “You aren’t gonna leave me alone.” 

You meet his eyes with fire. 

“Are you.” 

The look on your face tells him everything he needs to know. No words are exchanged as the atmosphere sparks and fizzles, and yet, Yoongi understands every single fucking word. 

The moment you walked in, Yoongi had already lost. “Goddamn it.” 

Giving into the most primal of urges, the most savage of needs, tension snaps with a burst of orange and red. Claws and fangs glint in the night, rage and passion clutching each other before crashing down together. 

Devouring you and letting you have your way with him is ecstatic, a high, all consuming and Yoongi doesn’t know when anger morphs into desperation. But it does, it does, it does, and the outpouring of frustration and relief and realization that you’re here is draining him exactly how he wants. 

Taking while being taken. Worshipping while being worshipped. Everything he’d been feeling over the last three months funnels into this very moment and spills out of his system like an open, gushing wound. Toxins and pain runneth over, releasing and freeing and letting his bones free to stretch and grow again. Though battered and bruised, Yoongi feels whole again. Like he never was, or always was? With you. 

Was this all he had to do? 

All he had to do was let you in? 

You come undone, then you unravel beneath him again. The sight he thought he’d never see again unfolds in front of his very eyes and Yoongi drinks you in like a man starved on the brink of collapse. Maybe he still fucking is, because the burn he feels in his body won’t quell. The pain in his soul won’t ebb. The sobs in his ear won’t stop. 

Wait, fuck fuck, that’s you? “Baby.” 

You don’t quit, so he calls you again. And when nothing else works, Yoongi cracks out your name with a snap and grabs your chin to bring you back. Shit, he should’ve been paying attention. 

Fuck, you look so exhausted. He knows he’s responsible for that pain in your eyes. That anguish in your brows. But Yoongi will deal with that once you’re coherent and present again.

It takes you a bit to come back to him, but you do like the strong, fierce one you are. Fuck, you’re incredible even in your weakest moments. Something he’s come to love and aspire to match. 

When you beg him to not kick you out, Yoongi feels chains tug his heart taut. Pulled in so many directions, he feels the need to take deep breaths himself, and he’s so caught up in your pleas that he births a new nickname that has his brain spiraling,

“Breathe, angel.”

No time to think about that now. The only real explanation for him saying it out loud is the fact he’s thought it so many times his brain decided it needed to be set free. 

You tell him he’s perfect the way he is, and Yoongi falters. Everything you say while in his arms and fighting tears will be burned in his memory forever, and he’ll let those words carry him onto softer shores, sparkling and welcoming just like you. 

He doesn’t even realize he starts to cry until you tell him it’s okay. And he lets himself rest in the solace of your embrace until he remembers that you came in through the pouring rain. 

When you offer to share the blame? That’s when Yoongi can’t fight it anymore. This beautiful, blooming soul in his arms is radiating enough light to wash away his darkness. He has no choice but to surrender to you—his life, his devotion, his everything. 

Of course you would offer to share the blame. It’s so inherently you that Yoongi’s emotions run down with the shower spray, and he clutches onto you like life would stop as soon as he let go. 

Water. Sunlight. Warmth. 

From the mud in his chest, reaching up towards his beloved, Yoongi finally feels new life bloom. 

—

—

Darkness no longer clouds the edges of his eyes, and he can see moonlight crisper and more ethereal than he’d ever seen it before. Washed ashore, lying still, and staring at a sea of stars, Yoongi thinks his view almost looks as pretty as you. But he realizes this is because it is you. He’s there in your eyes, amongst those flecks of light. It’s breathtaking. It’s… 

You give him a tiny smile before turning to leave his bedroom. And Yoongi follows with his vision swimming. 

This feeling… 

You’re both in the kitchen now, his feet planted on warm tile as you grab your phone to do whatever’s in that beautiful brain of yours. God, you’re ethereal just standing there, so gorgeous, so present. His life’s most precious gift. “What shall we eat… Stew? Or, wait—” 

Yoongi watches as you give him a once over. “Actually, let’s figure you out first.” 

As you speak, he can’t offer anything. He can’t even move, because something is growing in his chest and it’s starting to feel like he’ll burst. “Okay, let’s see. You’re breathing fine, so no bruised ribs. Umm…” 

This feeling… It’s an urge. It’s an irrevocable emotion. 

It’s all you. All Yoongi sees is you. Light. Shine. Glow. The rainbow that came after the rain, casting color and new life into his dulled existence and clearing his mind of all sludge. His ribs are battered, but this has been the easiest he can breathe. 

“It looks really bad there, though. You sure you can move right?” 

How does that even make sense? How do you manage to make him second guess his life at every turn? He can be happy, even if it doesn’t make sense now. 

Your radiance is just beyond his cracked, clawed walls, and this need to fight his way out is stronger than it’s ever been. You deserve his best. You want every piece of him. 

Every version of him.

Throat burning and breath short, Yoongi runs across his mind, footsteps unimpeded towards the door he’s been waiting behind, clenching his fist around the knob and yanking it all the way open to pull himself through without resistance and turning towards the shimmering expanse across his eyes. 

“Okay, so no bruised ribs, and according to this you don’t have any broken bones. And nothing fractured, either, thank god—” 

And sunlight conquers the dark. 

“I love you.” 

You stop as soon as his heart thrums, pulsing with purpose, with the intention of keeping him full and alive because that’s exactly how he feels. 

Alive.

You question what he says, but Yoongi doesn’t answer with words. The emotion pooling in his eyes will have to suffice, because if he says what he really wants to say? You’d probably run from how ahead of himself he really is. 

So instead, surrounded by a kitchen that has seen the worst and best of him, Yoongi simply repeats out loud what’s been fact for months now, 

“I love you, doll.”

It’s okay that you don’t move. It’s okay if you don’t say anything back. 

He almost lost you. And you may have almost lost him had it not been for everyone else there. To even be able to confess is a blessing in itself, and even if you don’t reciprocate, Yoongi is more than fine with that. Because he’s still on this earth, in this lifetime, and this version of him was able to find this version of you. 

And he’ll do it again, and again, and again.

“And you don’t have to say anything. I know I don’t deserve to. I can’t be everything you want. Or need. Or whatever the fuck I’m trying to say. But I just needed you to know because I can’t fucking fight this shit anymore—” 

When you rush to embrace him with the utmost care, it proves too much to hide anything else. Yoongi’s walls fully fall with the tears from his eyes as you cry into his skin. Words bump and collide into each other as he fails to express how grateful he is to be alive and to be in your arms. It’s too much to bear. It’s too much to convey. All he can do is fucking sob. “Goddamn it, I love you—”

“Yoongi—”

“—so fucking much.”

You didn’t deny him. You didn’t look repulsed, or disappointed, or angry. All the fears that berated him for days prove useless and wrong and there’s no better feeling that exists in the spectrum of human emotion. 

Orange and blue coalesce and intertwine, and his mind shines with a rainbow of iridescence, scintillating and bounding like the suncatchers in your eyes. 

With his next blinks, something happens that renders his mind speechless. 

He slowly looks beyond your shoulder and sees a figment of himself—a younger version with big dreams and a battered heart—standing at the edge of his kitchen and donning a look of trepidation. 

Before realizing that everything’s going to be alright. 

Yeah, kid. Everything is more than alright.

And this only makes Yoongi cry harder, and he watches himself grin before offering a simple nod, walking out with hands in his pockets and fading footsteps.

Healed. 

“Yoongi.” 

His name leaves your lips so cracked that it hurts him in the best way. It takes all of him to hold you tight, finding shelter from his own shower of tears in the crook of your shoulder. 

This is what he’ll remember forever. Your outpouring of emotion receiving his biggest fear with warmth. He should’ve seen this coming, but darkness and trauma has a damn good way of beating your expectations down into dust. Just like the glass shattered across his living room floor not too long ago. 

You still haven’t said anything. But this is more than enough. This is everything Yoongi could ask for and he’s cherishing every millisecond he gets with you in this newfound life, this life beyond his own, this eternity. 

“Yoongi, I—”

He swoops in to catch your words in his mouth, and it’s in this very moment that he realizes that he’s terrified of anything you have to say back. Is that ridiculous? Is that unreasonable? He doesn’t care. There’s a chance these past three months have changed your mind and he’s not ready to hear it if that’s the case. 

Just stay here with him and let him love you. Just stay here by his side and let him watch you with a vision finally unclouded. 

Yoongi backs you up into the opposite counter, smothering you with everything else he wants to say but can’t. Because anything else he wants to confess still scares the living shit out of him.

Your breathy words already hit harder when you finally speak again, “I… I can’t… Yoongi—”

He can’t either. Whatever you’re about to say, he fucking can’t, either. Holding your head, he plants his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry,” he rasps out, hoping you can tell he means it, for everything. “I won’t ever be able to say that enough.” 

“Baby,” you hiccup, resting a hand over one of his. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not.”

How can he ever make all of this up to you? The distance, the shutout, the shutdown, the way he tried to get you to leave. All of it weighs his heart down and forces out apologies to his brain. Over, and over, he can only say sorry. And he’s so fucking relieved that he gets to tell you because he made it out and they all survived. 

“It is.” You squeeze his hand, and he immediately calms. Inhaling your natural scent, he lowers his lids as you whisper, “You’re okay, so I’m okay.” 

All you wanted was for him to be okay. And all he needed for that to happen was having you right here. 

This is deeper than love. 

After he plants a warm kiss on your temple, he feels so goddamned overwhelmed he has to ball his fists. “I just—fuck.” 

“Babe,” you say with the softest care, “I’m here.” 

“I know.” He sighs, smushing into your lips and holding you so tenderly, yet so tight. As he laps at your tongue, salt coats his lips and he knows what it means. 

You’re here. He almost got you to leave. And you almost did and he finally, finally, finally fought for you to stay. 

Yoongi plants kisses all over your skin, marvelling at how perfect you are even if you don’t believe it. You’re everything. And he’s so drawn to you that he can feel his body responding without pause. 

But he won’t give into those urges unless you want him to. He can live off your little breaths, your roaming hands, your small hitches as he keeps peppering love along your canvas. This can be enough to keep him going well into the next year or ten. 

His name leaves your mouth in a sigh, your back arching just how he loves. “If you only knew,” he whispers, laughing to himself as he wraps an arm around your side.

“Knew what?”

“Nothing, babe.” He captures your lips again, and he can feel that you want what he wants. And his heart pulses in double time. “You’re so—fuck.”

His hands find yours as he starts to walk to the bedroom, leading you and loving how your fingers slot into his perfectly. When you both reach the bed, you stop him with a little question of concern, “Are you sure?” 

“I’ll be alright, doll.” There’s nothing but care in his movements as he lowers you down, transfixed by how beautiful you are in his sheets. The fact that you’re down to do this again after taking him so well has his mind spinning. “As much as I think you enjoyed the first time, this time will be better.” 

Giggling, you read him like a story you’ve memorized, “You enjoyed it more than I did, I think.” 

“I don’t think so.” A lie. “Lemme get a cond—” 

“It’s okay.”

…What did you just say?

Yoongi needs clarification on what the fuck you just said because he is now convinced this whole night is a dream and he’s hallucinating you in his bed and he’s gonna wake up to none of this happening at all because what the fuck did you just say? “...What?” 

“We don’t…” You swallow, and his heart stops completely at your next sentence. “We don’t have to this time.” 

There’s no fucking way. “You sure?” 

Cradling his face with the softest of touches, you confirm with a smile so shy Yoongi wants to shield you from the rest of the world, “Just for a little bit.” 

And you add something he absolutely needed to hear because his breaths haven’t resumed. “I trust you.” When your eyes slightly waver, Yoongi crumbles at your last words, “And I want to, if you want it, too.” 

Of course he wants this. But hearing the suggestion come from you? That’s new, and he’s not complaining in the least. “I want what you want, doll.” 

“Then it’s okay.”  

His fingers. They’re already fucking shaking. 

But Yoongi’s not going to say anything to change the trajectory of this moment. Something about his bedroom feels different, as if it’s been plucked from this universe and placed in a separate pocket of time where only the two of you exist. 

You aren’t wavering in your gaze. All you do is stare with pools in your eyes as he slowly peels clothes from your legs and his own. Determination is all he can see, and that solidifies his confession that he’ll keep saying again, and again, and again. 

Can you hear how breathless he sounds? Can you feel every shiver running up and down his spine? Do you notice how he could disintegrate at any moment? 

But before you both do this for real, he has to be absolutely sure. One last time. 

And you respond without him having to ask. “Yes, my love.” 

After a kiss he’ll remember forever, Yoongi kisses you back, taking his time and inundating your lips with every bit of him that he deems good. There’s a mix of emotion as he positions himself, and he has to fight the shakes when he feels the velvet touch of your folds. 

Holy fuck, he’s not gonna last. He already knows this won’t take long purely based on the way he’s already fighting hard to keep his fucking composure. 

But you’re so slick that it doesn’t take much for him to slide in, and the feeling of being fully molded into you is so incredible he could pass out. What the fuck. “Holy fucking shit.” 

“Yoongi—” 

“Fuck.” 

You’re already clenching around him. Oxygen can’t even reach his lungs. There’s no greater feeling in the world than what’s vibrating in his bones, getting to feel the person he loves just like this. Whole. Yoongi feels so whole and he knows you’re fighting to prolong this feeling just as hard as he is. 

Which only makes this shit even harder goddamn. 

Your giggle barely reaches his ears, “You good, baby?” 

He turns to watch your eyes, wondering when the fuck he got so close and wondering if he’s still even living. “Yeah, just...” He stares before finally taking a breath, exhaling hard from exertion alone. “Just this is about to make me bust.” 

When you laugh, your admittance coaxes a long, lopsided grin, “I was just thinking the same, holy shit. We’re not good at this.” 

Now that is a fuckin’ lie on your part. “No. You’re too good at this. I can’t even move.” 

“Yes, you can,” you whine. “You wreck my shit all the time.” 

Fucking hell. You have to know how much power you have in that whine. Preventing himself from coming inside you legitimately hurts at this point. Not that he’s complaining but god. “Doll, if you keep talking like that, I’m pulling out.” 

“Okay, okay,” you surrender, giggling again and making him weaker and weaker. 

His voice is so strained it’s embarrassing. “You’re a little too perfect right now.” When you shake your head, he will not have any of that doubt in his face. “You are.”

“Nowhere close.”  

You don’t wanna do that. Facing you nose to nose, Yoongi taunts, welcoming this distraction from busting in your beautiful folds. “Say that again and see what happens.”

“Is that what you tell all the others fuck!”

Fuck, you take his thrusts so well. His cock is outright throbbing now. “What did I fuckin’ say?” 

“What—”

Another launch has your mouth flopping open, and Yoongi can’t think straight anymore. All he can spit out is everything as raw as you’re taking him, “You think there’s someone else? Hmm?” 

He pushes forward again. And your expression makes him moan so guttural it even gets himself going. Grabbing your chin, he feels sweat under his fingers as he vows, “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 

You just laugh, and Yoongi groans at his next thrust and how deep he goes. When you taunt him again, he can only glower with pride, thrusting up again and sending you twisting and thrashing in passionate waves. “Uh huh.” 

“Make me then,” you gasp for air. “Make me really sorry.” 

How could he ever deny you?

His hands find your body before he dives, breaking loose and ramming into you as hard and fast as his hips allow. The pain in his side rises which each swing, but that doesn’t matter. You feel so perfect around him he thinks he can stay here until he’s physically yanked from this plane of existence. 

Heaven. “Taking me so well like this.” 

“I—”

“So fucking tight.”

Animal instincts scratch along Yoongi’s brain, blurring his vision and buzzing his actions into staccato jolts. When your jaw hangs, the first thing he thinks to do is smack your cheek, and he grunts when your eyes darken three shades,

“Do it again.” 

Did you just—

“Do it again,” you growl, moaning to the sky when he obliges a second time oh fuck you’re cutting his airway and it careens him into carnal bliss. 

Fuck, the pain feels good. So good that everything roars in his core and he turns completely primal, forfeiting all sense of decency and ravishing you exactly how he wants and exactly how you need. What the fuck is his shirt still doing on your body? That needs to go. But too much time would be wasted getting it off, but he can settle with shoving it up and devouring your chest just like this oh yes. 

“Oh, fuck, Yoongi!” 

“Uh uh.” 

“Please—please—” 

Lapping at your tits is one of his favorite things at this point. Almost as natural as embracing you and holding down your beautiful wrists just to watch you preen with a smile. Because this is exactly what you do now, teeth shining in the night and eyes creased and slicing through his beating, beating, beating heart. 

Yoongi’s sure he’s stuttering out words that praise you, but there’s nothing truly registering in his head other than your sinful, angelic sounds. Truthfully, these moans you’re puffing out are enough to send him over the edge because you sound so fucking pretty. 

“Baby,” you gasp. “I’m close, I’m—” 

Shit shit shit, he’s gonna— “Shit.” 

The last braincell he has commands his entire body, lunging up and pulling out of his newfound home before spilling mercilessly onto your exposed stomach, shuddering and shivering from lust and passion and something else scarier than the rest. 

Hearing nothing from your lips, Yoongi finally regards you with ragged breaths. 

You look so in shock. And he’s so exposed and snapped lucid that he is now downright shy. “Fuck,” he shakes out with a laugh. “Thought I could hold out.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure, laughing light and offering a smile. “Oh my god, I promise.” 

Something must now be very wrong with him, or the wiring in his brain has been changed. Because every time he sees your lips? There’s an innate need to kiss them. It’s almost blasphemous if he doesn’t. 

Fuck. He winces on the way down. There’s no doubt you saw that, which sucks. He doesn’t want you to worry about him, those lines on your forehead don’t need to be there. 

“Stay there, beautiful.” Shit, getting out of the bed hurts even worse now. I’m not done with you.” 

“Baby, are you sure?” 

He’s sure. You don’t need to lift a single finger tonight unless it’s for him to kiss. 

Walking to the bathroom and facing away, Yoongi can finally let his strong demeanor drop, wincing fully and squinting his eyes in pain. But it should subside in just a bit. Going too hard was probably the worst decision, but there was no way he was passing that shit up if you wanted it. 

From the time he comes back to sit on the bed, to wiping your face and your stomach, Yoongi doesn’t feel your stare let up even once. Which is fine. This is the most calm he’s ever felt in his life, cleaning the love of his life after a connection he didn’t expect to have until you both had reached another milestone. 

But as soon as he stares back, that’s when you look away. And it’s so adorable his heart beats a shade of lavender. “What, love.” 

“I just… nothing,” you whisper. 

“Tell me.” You’re not hiding anything from him now—fuck, he probably shouldn’t lie on this side. But fuck it. “I wanna know.” 

Well. Not on your watch apparently. You command him to lie on your other side, and he’s not gonna be told twice. Shit is hurting like hell right now.

But he settles at your side, ears perked and awaiting your every syllable. “It’s a secret.” 

Huh. “A secret?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

Well, this is definitely not what he expected. But anything to entertain and amuse you. Anything you want to tell him, he’ll bring to his grave. Lifting your chin, he softly rubs your cheek before whispering, “I can keep those, you know.” 

That smile is why he fell in love. “Okay, I’ll tell.” 

Why do you look so mischievous right now? Who is this cute ball of sudden energy? Are you not as exhausted as he feels? Yoongi is sure he could fall asleep in your arms right now without so much another breath—

“I love you, too.”

…What? 

The stop of a clock.

Absolute silence.

Soon, every star in the sky glows brighter, the moon shining beams into his room and coating your body in heavenly light. It’s so piercing and true that Yoongi feels little pricks at his eyes, desperately hoping he heard you correctly because if he didn’t, his body would crumble and wash away with the tide. 

“And you deserve more than I could ever give.” 

Oh. 

He heard you right. 

And all he can see is you just beyond the sand under his fingertips, eyes reflecting tangerine and summer sparks and everything he wants to be. 

He doesn’t remember rushing forward, he doesn’t remember kissing you. But he’s locked on your quivering mouth, not faring much better and very sure his tears are coating your tongue, too. 

What the fuck does he say? Every word in every language he knows abandons him, too stunned at your confession and reciprocation that he can only show what he feels in his movements. 

Fuck sleep. 

He’s giving you every ounce of his energy tonight. 

This is how he can thank you. For caring about him, for not giving up on him, for not leaving him when he was at his absolute lowest. 

For loving him. 

For loving him. 

The pain ceases to bother him. Because he’s joining you in the sea now, diving deep between your legs and lapping at your every wave of pleasure. All he can think about is how you taste like magic, like devotion, like home. And buried in your core and away from your moans, he can let his tears flow, eyes scrunched and fingers gripping your thighs as if you’d leave as soon as he lets go. 

When you say his name, Yoongi says nothing. Because he still cannot find it within himself to speak. If he does? You’d surely run. Getting ahead of himself is the theme tonight, and there’s no telling what he’d say next if he doesn’t keep his tongue occupied with your ebb and flow. 

He really could go all night just like this. 

And that thought is so natural that it doesn’t even phase him. 

Your hands jut into his hair before you come on his tongue a second time, and the groan he pushes out rumbles his entire being. 

“Holy fuck, baby—!” 

Your waves crash onto the shore yet again, magnificent and beautiful and sparkling. Even though he’s as close as he could possibly be, Yoongi needs to be closer. So he gets up and lets your cunt breathe as he smothers your lips once more, pouring adoration into your lungs and sacrificing air to do so. 

“Fuck.” He needs you. Yoongi can’t control the dragon in his chest that yearns for connection again, even though he knows this one cannot mirror the last. So he gets up to grab a condom, instantly thinking about how shy you were to show him which ones you got when you re-upped. 

Fucking good ones, that’s for damn sure. He can pretty much feel all of you if he thinks hard enough, even with these on. Minx. “Don’t take this the wrong way.”

“Oh, I already know.”

“K. But god, I fuckin’ want to.”

The look in your eye is familiar. And the words you say are even more so. “One day.”

Fuck, he loves you. 

And for the rest of the night, as much as he can muster, Yoongi shows you just how much. At least, he hopes you can tell from the way he makes love to you, each stroke intentional, each touch of your face tender, each look in your eye full of yearning even though you’re right there with him. 

Is it possible to want someone when they’re right there? 

What does that mean? How does he feel so fucking hungry when he’s so full of you? 

It almost—almost—scares him how he can’t get enough of your body. But it’s probably your soul that he’s holding instead, and you have so much that he can’t carry it all. 

Yoongi’s eyes burn, but not in a blaze of fire. They burn like a hearth, like a calm flame in the heart of a house.  

Because he’s finally home. 

—

—

Spent, satiated, and still wanting more but letting rest take over his tired bones, Yoongi finds himself next to your shimmering eyes and roaming fingers. God, he loves when you play with his hair. If there was one thing that could always calm his storm? This would be it.

That, and your hums. He could live indefinitely in your song.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” you finally whisper. When you catch his eyes, you shift from one to the other. “But I really was so mad at you. All of you.” 

He doesn’t blame you one bit for that. “I know.” 

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

Ah. Will he ever tell you how close that was to happening? Why does that one question make him feel so fucking guilty? “It won’t happen again.” 

“That’s what you said last time.” 

As he holds your gaze, Yoongi thinks it’s better to wait. But he can at least explain why things went down the way they did. Why you had to be sent away. “They were gonna follow us home if we didn’t, babe,” he says with certainty. “We all knew that.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Don’t cry. Everything is okay now. Please don’t let this burden you. “I didn’t… I didn’t think about that.” 

His silent pleas don’t work, because of course you would cry for them. That’s just who you are, and there’s zero need to change that. 

But it doesn’t make this situation less painful. Sitting up, Yoongi has to hang his head between his knees to hide his guilt. “You don’t need to think about shit like that,” he murmurs, remembering something else he can tell you that’s okay to divulge. “But we talked after you told us off. We won’t hide that from you anymore.” 

“Thank you…” 

A brief touch on his shoulder turns into a calm yet firm hold of his arm. You’re slowly unraveling him, just like a fruit that reminds him of you, and he’s brought into your loving warmth without a word. 

The two of you don’t need to exchange those so much anymore. Not when he can sense what you need, and when you can read him better than anyone ever has.

Only one person knows him more.

And finally remembering there are other people in the world—including the only one he fears—douses him with a splash of water. 

He’s way too deep now. He really has to do something because if he gets pulled away from you ever again, his heart may as well get ripped from his chest. 

“Thank you for letting me in.”

Yoongi’s eyes still.

“It was raining really hard.” 

Fuck. 

There have been multiple doors opened tonight. Not just the one he finally yanked himself through. And with each swing of solid wood, his heart began to breathe easier and easier, its beating stronger and fuller.

But with this last door? This one you just opened with a whisper and a soft touch? 

His whole body freezes. Because it’s a swift punch to his already pained ribcage and all he can do is leak sentences from his eyes. 

“Babe?”

Only you can affect him this potently. Only you can bring him to his knees. 

“Hey. Look at me.”

He doesn’t want to. Fuck, he’s way too timid and fragile right now to even turn your way. Yoongi feels as if all his layers have been stripped bare, lying in one piece around him and exposing his vulnerable state. 

But he obeys. And he can feel the slip of warmth on his face before you spring into action, 

“Oh, fuck, come here.”

He’s gathered in your arms and it reminds him of many things. Like the tug of warm rushing water, and the first time he realized how he felt about you. 

But above all, it reminds him of the loving embrace of his mother, one that he’s been swooped into every time he needed her most. 

And this singular comparison knocks him off balance entirely. 

“It’s okay, baby,” you whisper, pressing his face into your neck and soothing him when he doesn’t utter a damn word. “I’m not mad anymore, okay? I’m just glad you’re alright.”

How does one respond when an angel speaks to them? Is it possible to form words when your heart lodges itself in your throat? This proves too difficult. And Yoongi is trying so fucking hard to keep himself in one piece.

Too late. He can’t stop his nose from a sniff. But it’s okay, because he knows he can be like this with you. He can let go, because you’ve always allowed him to be wholly himself. 

For the first time, in a very long time, Yoongi feels… 

Protected. 

He doesn’t have to be strong right now. He doesn’t even have to pretend to be more okay than he is. He can just be and that in itself gives him the most comfort he’s had in years and years. 

The answer was always you. How many other times can he materialize this singular solution in his mind? 

Infinite, infinite, infinite times. 

“This isn’t about that, doll,” Yoongi croaks, burying wet eyes further into your shoulder. “It’s just…”

He almost can’t finish what he’s saying. It takes everything to shove it out because he wants to truly say everything he feels. Consequences and potential reactions be damned.

The truth remains. 

“It’s so fucking better when you’re here.” 

When you choke out a sob, his body responds, “I sleep better. Eat better. Fuck, I even feel better even if nothing else changes.”

“Yoongi…”

“It’s true.” Every single bit of it. The truth is so concrete in his chest that he can barely breathe. Sighing, Yoongi sniffs again before letting his weight fall into your loving side. “I mean that.”

You smooth a hand over his hair. Something that he’s missed so fucking much. “Then… Those three months…”

“One day, I’ll tell you everything,” he offers, surprising himself because there’s so many things that will scare you shitless. But what’s done is done. The future is now, and immediate changes are in order. “But from now on, you can be here whenever you want.” 

Skimming along his strands, you cheekily ask, “So I can come to those parties you host, too?” 

Oh? You know about those? It makes sense, since your brother did attend some and stayed for a bit. “Those weren’t my idea, by the way. Jimin made me.” 

You’re silent as he gravitates to your shoulder, inhaling your scent while kissing its curve. “He was worried. And hoping you would show.” Again, you don’t speak, leaving room for Yoongi to keep revealing more and more of his unending string of thoughts, “I knew you wouldn’t. But… I did hope to see you, too.” 

As you resume your gentle touches, your chest rises and falls before you finally talk, “It’s okay. It would’ve been too obvious.”

What, that he missed you? That he wouldn’t have left the same room you were in? That his eyes would’ve drifted to you because the rest of him couldn’t? “What would’ve.”

“That I wanted you all to myself.”

Oh. The two of you are so similar. “You already have that.”

Voice softer and more timid, you respond, “You know what I mean.” 

Of course he does. In fact, he wants to see how you’d act if there was nothing holding you back. Because if it were him? Everyone would know who has him cuffed up and chained down, and just how much he fucking loves it—

“My brother was the one that invited me,” you blurt. “To come to those, I mean.”

Wait.. He what? “Huh.”

“I know.” You absentmindedly take his hand and kiss along his ridges, staring off into space and time. “It makes me wonder if he knows.”

Does he? Yoongi doesn’t think so, considering he himself is still alive and breathing semi-fine. 

Back in the parking lot, though, things could’ve gotten suspicious as hell once that fucker started mentioning you to him. But the guy from Dalo taunted him first on the court way back when. Of course he’d single him out. 

But still… When your brother told him to get out of the car, he probably lost two of his nine lives. “What if he does?”

You turn, eyes wide. “Does he?”

Focusing on your lips hovering over his fingers, Yoongi runs through every scenario in his mind. The most glaring thing he can think of just happened in your front yard, but your brother told him to break up with his ex. So there’s no way he’d think you were even an option.

So the most obvious answer, thankfully, would be, “No.”

Relief lowers your shoulders. “Okay. But you’re sure I can stay?” 

Ah. He forgot about this single scheme he cooked up days ago, as soon as he was told your brother would be heading out for a surprise trip. 

Getting to tell you in person? This makes his heart sing. “Who do you think you bought those groceries for?” 

Jackpot. That expression is fucking priceless. “What?” 

Yoongi cannot believe he almost let you leave. If you had walked back out into the rain, his future would have looked much different. And, frankly, quite fucking bleak. “I get you for a week, right?”

It’s just for a second, but the wheels spinning in your head can plainly be seen. He can’t help but laugh at the way you scrunch that cute ass nose as you burst, 

“You sneaky little—” 

That look. The look you have when you’re nothing but happy? He wants that permanently etched into your features forever. There’s nothing else he wants more than to keep you shining and shining. 

Giving in to your kisses, Yoongi loses himself in the best way, melting against your lips and feeling warmth pool in his chest. 

Is going behind your brother’s back one more time still mutinous? Yes. But this will be the very last time. All the sneaking, all the hidden truths, all the little lies will be over soon enough. 

You need it to be, your brother deserves for it to be, and Yoongi yearns for it to be. 

“One day,” he murmurs, caught in a sudden determination to rewire his whole framework for your sake, “I’ll be better.”

“Don’t make it just one day, silly.” 

Did you just… What did you just say?

Clutching a little bit of his shirt, you whisper with complete devotion, “We’ll make it as many as we can.”

It’s not enough to say he loves you.

What he feels digs seven leagues farther into his soul, carving out a haven shaped like you just so he can permanently keep you there. Safe. Protected. Glowing like the pop of fireworks and the shine of sunlight through summer leaves. 

Yoongi’s not quite sure of a lot of things. Unfortunately, one of those includes knowing when exactly he’d be okay. Be truly, one hundred percent okay. 

But he’s sure of one thing, and that’s your word. If you’re with him, you’re with him. He’s known this for awhile now, but it doesn’t hit him until tonight, right as you fought to stay while staring his monsters in the eye. 

A light laugh lands on his hair, and Yoongi wonders where your mind is. Probably wandering and trying to find his own, since he knows he drifted off just a bit. 

“At least. Until the day I get to meet my cat.”

Yoongi’s brows perk up at your confidence. 

“Then I’m running away with her.”

Is that right? Maybe he believes you, but who is he to surrender so easily? “Oh, yeah?”

Your pout is priceless. “Yeah. But I’m starting to think she ran away already and you won’t fess up.”

A laugh leaps out of his chest, because technically she did but ultimately came back. You really don’t know half of it, but he has time to tell you everything. Even the parts he doesn’t want to. “She’s still here!”

“Lies.”

“How much are you betting, doll.”

“How much are you willing to lose, babe.”

Alright, he’s had enough. The urge to tickle you roars again, and he doesn’t have to keep his hands to himself. “This much,” he says with his attack, loving your bubbling laughter, “Maybe I’ll make you leave after all if you’re gonna be a problem.” 

“You did threaten to kick me out before.” 

Yoongi stops on your soft curves. “Huh? When?”

“That day I showed up.” Your eyes crease as you watch him stare far into your eyes. “Said you were gonna kick me out for hustling you.” 

Oh, fuck, he did! 

The laugh that rumbles from his belly is so fast and loud that his side hurts like hell fuck but he can’t help it because the giddiness gets the best of him. Damn, he really did say that the very first day. From day one, he’s been such a liar. “I should’ve!” 

“You really should’ve.” 

“Played me from the very start. You happy with yourself?” Of course you nod. It’s attractive in the best and worst ways, and soon he’s not gonna know what to do with the confident version of you. “Course you are.” 

“You love it.” 

“I do.” 

The sentence he wants to say next is balancing on the tip of his tongue. But it’s even more fun to dangle in front of your awaiting eyes, knowing you have a feeling of what he’s gonna say. 

So he just bites his own lips before pulling you in for a kiss. “Thought I was gonna say it, huh.” 

“No! …Maybe.” 

Adorable. “Guess what.” 

Yoongi doesn’t even acknowledge your suspicion before seizing your mouth, kissing you deep and feeling the arch of your chest into his. Fuck, he loves when you do that. It’s one of his favorite things, even more so when it happens right here in his bed. 

If it ever happens again in yours… 

After a few passes, he raises himself, planting a hand at your side and slotting a leg in between yours. God, your skin. It’s so smooth against his, and yet, you’re so unbelievably strong. So firm. So loyal. It’s never going to fully click that you’re doing this all for him. 

There are multitudes of what Yoongi wants to say to you. But you two have all the time in the world now. He’s gonna shower you with so much appreciation and adoration that you may not know what to do with him. And that’s perfectly okay. 

When he lets up, you move wet lips to whisper, “What were you gonna say?” 

Drawn to your nose, Yoongi gives in to his urges yet again and kisses you there, letting loose and firing another confession into the dark night sky, “I just fucking love you, doll.” 

Oh. You’re trying to duck him now? That’s not gonna work, but it’s fucking cute as hell. “You can’t hide now, babe.” 

“I can!” 

Nah, you can’t run. He has more to say and he’s gonna say it to your face. Or ear. Whatever is willing to take in his sparkling, booming declarations, “I love fucking you, too.” 

“Yoongi!” 

He can’t help but laugh now, holding you tighter and snuggling his nose into your scent. Inhaling, inhaling, exhaling relief. Relief that you are here and relief that he is, too.

That second of terror, not knowing if he was going to survive? It feels so far away and right on his heels all at once. It’s a strange feeling, wondering if the universe intentionally gave him a second chance and now wondering why. Clearly, he now has some soul searching to do. 

But two things are for sure: music, and you.

And to Yoongi, they are one and the same.  

“I miss you.”

What?

Looking down at your head, Yoongi wonders if he wandered too far, “How? I’m right here.”

You lower into his chest, and he feels his heartbeat quicken. “I still miss you.”

Fuck. He knows how that feels. 

Feeling the rush of melancholy, he embraces your sides, knowing that there’s a goodbye to every hello and he knows your dreading this part just as much as he is. 

A flare of blue streaks across his chest. Something burning so hot and searing a decision on the inside of his lungs. 

And fuck, it’s already making him shake. “I can’t do shit like this anymore.” 

You completely still in his arms, and he knows why. But this is the only way he can get all of this out because it’s frightening and he’s running from the one sentence he has to say out loud.

“I wanna do this the right way.” 

He can’t fucking stop his breaths from studdering, and you push up to check on his current shake,

“What are you saying?” 

Just say it. Just fucking say it. He’s ready to walk into fire, knowing a piece of him might disintegrate into ashes. “I’m saying I’ll tell him, doll. Just me.” 

It takes a second or two for you to realize what he says. And he gets that. This is sudden, and it’s throwing him into a new state of panic that would destroy him if you weren’t there warming his skin.

The gleam of your tears gives him a will to breathe. 

And Yoongi swallows every shadow and doubt before taking the first step towards freedom, famine, or both. 

For you, for you, for you. Always and forever, for you. 

“I’ll tell him everything.” 

More water engulfs your eyes as you fall silent, and Yoongi can’t quell the beating in his chest. Are you shocked? Scared? Just as fucking frightened as he is? 

Because he has a lot coming for him and there’s no way around it. He just has to hope to everything in the universe and beyond that he can withstand whatever hell your brother will unleash. 

And the guilt waiting for him on its haunches. “Babe?” 

“I’m just…” Your brows deepen as your face scrunches, but what you say makes him blink twice. “I can’t…”

Yoongi’s heart is millimeters from the ground. “What?”

When your hand grips your chest, he feels his whole world pulse with the urge to protect you. You look so scared of something, and it’s probably the same as what’s haunting him. He wishes things were different, he wishes he did things better, he hates himself for—

“I love you so much it fucking hurts.”

Oh. 

You… That’s all you’re thinking about? Him? His throat sears through at how wrong he was. How the fuck will he ever deserve you?

“Maybe cus I’m scared as shit,” you confirm one of his worries, clenching another beautiful hand over your chest. “Or maybe one heart isn’t enough to hold it all.” 

If that isn’t the fucking truth. 

Just saying the words will never be enough. Like it’s laughable how much he feels for you, what he would do for you. The way he went from a bruised heart to growing another just for you inflates his battered ribcage and leaves him breathless. “It’s been hurting for me, too,” he croaks, chest constricted by the rivers on your face. “A lot longer than three months.”

When your palm reaches to cup his cheek, Yoongi can’t hold back the tear that falls into its ridges. Because his capacity for emotion seems to be limitless around your tender heart. You’re his safe haven, his hearth, his home where he can be himself and not feel like he has to hide. 

You’re his everything. And he’s simply yours in every sense of the word. 

“I just wish I was here for those,” you whisper with leaking eyes that match his. “I missed you, Yoongi. I didn’t want to say much, but… It affected me a lot more than I thought.”

“I know,” he responds, cracked and broken beyond repair. “There’s nothing I can say that can change what I did.” 

Your sniffles stab like knives. 

“But listen. Hmm?” He shifts to kiss the inside of your palm. “Never again.” 

When you can only nod, his lungs collapse. “Serious. And you’ll know how serious by tomorrow. K?”

“K,” you breathe out, silent as you watch him pepper more and more kisses along your wrist between inhales. His plan will be fully done by the end of the day tomorrow. There’s a bit to do, but he’s got time. Everything will be worth it just to keep you happy and at peace. 

And maybe this will help him get there, too. 

“Come here, doll,” he whispers, shutting both eyes when you rush to his lips before he even finishes the plea. And your mouth pins his in the best way, smothering with salt and a deluge he laps at, sucks in, smushes closer with a hand to your head. 

When you break away, Yoongi gulps in air as you do the same, hearing your soft sniffs and still wishing things had been done differently. 

But he can’t change the past. And the present is more than he could ever ask for. So there’s no point in dwelling on the roads you both took to get here.

“I love when you call me that,” you admit, breaking into his thoughts. 

“Doll?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Kinda picked up on that.” Ah, you’re trying to hide one more time? Do you know that’s never gonna fly with him? “Huh, now we’re shy again?” 

“Always.” 

“We both know that’s not true.” Yoongi laughs until you latch onto his neck, and blood speeds to his groin as he instantly loses himself in a groan. He doesn’t even register his head kicking back until his words come out strained, “Fuckin’ hustler, fuck…” 

When you chuckle, your vibrations send jolts along his limbs, activating every fucking cell and lighting up his brain until it’s completely blank. 

“Gotta live up to my name somehow,” you joke, pulling away and leaving a cold patch in your wake. “But seriously, that’s all you get. We have to sleep.” 

“What, you don’t wanna see the cat anymore?” 

“I never said that!”

You’re way too easy, but he’d be the same exact way. The last time he got you both up to see your little gift, she wasn’t outside. Will she be there now? 

With tired muscles, you both get out of the bed, and he holds out his hand to guide your zigzag waddles through his apartment that he can finally breathe in. 

“Wait,” you halt with your arm. When Yoongi obeys with a look, you turn to him and show off how logical you are, “There’s probably glass still.” 

He nods, resting you against his door before fetching slippers from his closet. And it hurts like a bitch to lean down, but he slips your pair on so you don’t have to move. Rather him than you anyday. 

And that look of pure adoration he gets in return will always be fucking worth it. 

God. Things really are better when you’re here. 

He can’t believe how stupid he’s been. 

With the proper footwear, both of you slowly make your way through his place, and Yoongi shifts his vision around to check for any large shards of glass to navigate you around. Somehow, it looks like you got most of the damage out. But some tiny specks and chips still remain, and he notes to get them soon—

“If she’s not out there again, I’m gonna cry.”

Yoongi laughs before squeezing your fingers. “Me, too.”

Finally, you both get to the door, and his hand stays flat on the wooden striations for a little longer than necessary. 

How wild to think things could have gone to shit entirely. How foolish of him to even fight for you to leave. 

But, after a moment of him looking down at the doorknob and you giving him the space to pause, Yoongi opens the door and gives a small peek outside. 

Bingo. “Stay there,” he commands, and he leads you forward until you forget he’s there.

Because the damn cat now commands all your attention, lapping at a water bowl until she looks at you. There’s a moment when he knows she’s cautious, but it doesn’t last long before she’s curious enough to inch closer to your side of the door. 

Of course it wouldn’t take long. Yoongi knows how magnetic and gentle you’ve always been. Maybe if he didn’t resist it so fucking much before, he wouldn’t have had to separate himself in the first place. 

“You’re so little,” you whisper. “Hi, baby.”

He smiles down at you both as the little one sniffs at your finger, feeling a calmness in his heart that seems secure and permanent. Is he allowed to feel this way all the time? 

Maybe if he had done things right and told your brother everything first. And maybe he should stop digging this hole and stay in the moment, goddamn. 

“Do you have a name yet?” You ask her instead of him, scratching behind an ear and giggling at a purr. “Did your dad give you one?” 

…Dad? 

Yeah, digging that hole is probably smart. He’s gonna need a whole grave for that one. 

But Yoongi swallows before answering for the one that can’t speak, “I’ve just been calling her cat.” 

When you glare over your shoulder, it’s immensely more cute than intimidating, which causes him to laugh and the cat to scurry a bit away. “You named my cat Cat?”

“Nah, just nothing permanent. Figured you’d wanna do that.”

“We can do it together.” Lips pursed, you sit in thought as she comes back, plopping on her side so you can rub her belly. “It would mean more that way.” 

“Cat means cat,” Yoongi shrugs out, before promptly getting swatted at and laughing. “Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” You yawn before saying goodbye for now, and judging from the look of yearning on your face, Yoongi knows you’d rather bring her inside. “See you again soon, cat named Cat.”

Cute.

Maybe something short and sweet? Miss Dion has been calling him something a lot lately... And it could fit with how nice this cat is being around you. 

“Sugar.”

You peer up before blinking. “Wait, that's so cute. Where'd that come from?”

Well. You didn't say no, so he's sticking with it.

Smiling, Yoongi helps you up before you both step back inside. “I’ll explain in a bit.” 

That seems to quell any other conversation about it, so you let him lead you back to bed. 

Only he doesn’t do that. Instead, Yoongi leads you just a few steps forward, letting you both stand in the living room and take in the aftermath of his mania together.

Your hand comes down to grip his in a comforting hold, and his shoulders immediately relax. "I don't know what led to this," you start slow, rolling words around in your mouth and plucking them very carefully. Even though you don't need to. He deserves to hear your every critical thought. "But I wanna know..."

When Yoongi turns to face you, he isn't prepared for your question,

"Did it help at all?"

Mm.

It's not that he can't answer because it's too hard. The reason he can't answer you right away is because he doesn't quite know the real answer. Does he feel better because of what he did? Or because you're here, like he said before? "I'm not sure yet," he decides to respond truthfully.

Eyes slipping down to your fingers looped in his, Yoongi admits with quiet confidence, "But none of it mattered as soon as I saw you."

Once again, with one look, he finds himself swimming in those beautiful eyes. Because you don't see him with pity, or rage, or even disappointment. You just... see him. You accept him as he comes.

And one day, when he gets the courage to look you in the eyes long enough, he'll be able to see himself the way you do, too.

"Let's rest, my love," you whisper soft. "I'll yell at you in the morning, I'm too tired to do it now."

There it is.

Chuckling, Yoongi obliges, shivering at how you address him and following whatever you ask. "Good. You're the only one allowed to kick my ass."

"As it should be."

When he's the one that leads you to the bedroom, his heart beats strong. But when you're the one that tucks him into bed with a kiss to his forehead, Yoongi's pulse becomes so tender it robs him of words.

"Hey... I'll always be here, you know," you murmur, sliding a warm hand over his bangs. "Even if it doesn't feel like it, I'm right here. All you have to do is close your eyes, and just..."

When he does, the press of your lips on his damn near brings him to tears. He commits this feeling to every memory center lodged in his brain, and this moment instantly locks itself as one of his deepest, most cherished ever.

"Remember that."

Eyes flittering open, Yoongi softly brings you in for another kiss. "I will, doll."

Your smile gives him purpose. "Good."

And for the first time in months and despite a hurting side, Yoongi sleeps right til the time he has to wake up, without even a breath or pulse out of alignment.

Because his drift to sleep had been a peaceful one, and the only thing he dreamt, felt, or thought of was you.

And the way you told him you loved him.

-

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fin :')

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fugue thoughts!! we did it!! | join the server!

a/n: we freakin' did it i love them i love them i love them!! yoongi's whole interlude is done and it was a monster in itself. now we're back on to the main storyline and honestly i am both relieved and yet still so tender for this yoongi. of course, there are other big situations we have to get ourselves into, but we are in the home stretch of three tangerines so let's finish this all out with a bang bang bang and lights in the sky :')) ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue3 and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it last time (honestly, you guys were super encouraging so thank you!) so let's go again!

Somehow, the sun felt warmer now, almost suspicious in its generosity. Golden light spilled across floors where gray had lingered for weeks. The wound on her palm had closed to a thin, pink line. Even the tea tasted sweeter.

She had to leave today. Not try to. Actually leave. Another week here and she might start accepting this place. That frightened her more than anything Yoongi could do.

She had to make it past the gate before the house learned her name.

The walk-in closet stretched wider than some apartments seen before. Rows of clothes that were never really hers lined the entire walls with expensive cotton. Fabric brushed against fabric with a soft whisper whenever she moved a hanger. Every dress, every skirt, every carefully tailored coat—had appeared one day without discussion, hung neatly beside the others as if they had always belonged there. As if she had always belonged there. Each one held another version of the woman someone else had designed her to be. It hadn't worked.

Her fingers skimmed along the hangers. Cool silk slid beneath her fingertips, cold and delicate as rose petals drifting across water. She wondered how much money Yoongi had spent on dressing up a prisoner as a princess. Her hand kept moving until the fabrics suddenly gave way to something more familiar. A plain gray hoodie shoved awkwardly between two far more expensive pieces. The cotton felt heavier than the silk surrounding it. More hers. Well, as close to her as anything in this house could be. She slipped it over her head, the fabric settled around her shoulders immediately, trapping warmth against her skin.

Lacing her boots was harder—it took her three attempts before the laces finally obeyed. The first knot slipped loose before she could tighten it. The second tangled between her fingers. She stared at the strings for a long moment before trying again. Her hands wouldn't stop trembling. Something electric buzzed beneath her skin, rushing through her veins so quickly it made every movement unreliable. On the third attempt, the bow finally held. She tugged the laces tight and sat still for a moment, staring at the finished knot. Such a stupid thing. Yet her chest felt strangely light looking at it.

One more step. One more step closer to the gate.

The office smelled different without him, bland even. No trace of the cigarette smoke that seemed permanently soaked into every room he occupied. No hint of the honey whiskey either. Only leather and paper. The scent of dust warming beneath sunlight. Usually there was the click of his keyboard, a rustle of documents, the low hum of his voice during phone calls she wasn’t supposed to overhear. Now, there was nothing.

Good.

That was what she wanted.

Her gaze drifted toward the mahogany desk dominating the center of the room. The floor creaked under her boots as she approached it, each step sounding louder than the last one—as if protesting her presence. Her fingers slid across the wood, stopping where she expected the stain to be. She didn’t remember cleaning it. In fact, she was almost certain she hadn’t.

It took her a few blinks to escape the image. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t there for that.

Her hand wrapped around the brass handle of the top drawer and pulled. The runners hummed softly. Pens rattled against one another, receipts stacked on top of envelopes. Dark ink stained the drawer's bottom, indigo spreading in thin branching rivulets. Her fingers sifted through the clutter and brushed something cold. A silver lighter sat pushed deep into the back corner. She picked it up, cold metal settling into her palm. The hinge snapped open with a sharp click, the same sound the empty gun had made—chamber spinning uselessly beneath trembling fingers. Her thumb pressed down onto the flint, spinning it and igniting a shower of sparks. A small blue-orange flame bloomed into existence, dancing quietly in front of her. She watched it for a brief moment before releasing the pressure. Turning the lighter over in her hand, she traced the engraving with her thumbnail. Another lily. Petal by petal. The grooves had been worn smooth in places, as if he'd traced them hundreds of times as well. The lid snapped shut with another sharp click. She slipped the lighter into the pocket of her jeans.

The second drawer held folders. Many of them. Each arranged with the same obsessive neatness he applied to everything else in his life. She flipped through them rapidly. Names. Addresses. Contracts. Financial reports. Invoices. Signatures. Page after page of numbers that meant nothing. Whatever secrets they contained, they weren't useful to her.

She shoved the folders back into place and reached for the last drawer. It refused to budge. She frowned and tugged harder, only to receive the same result. Something held it back. Her eyes searched the polished wood until they found it—a tiny brass keyhole, tucked discreetly into the corner, nearly hidden within the dark grain. How difficult to break could a lock really be? The desk looked expensive. Old money expensive. Dark mahogany polished to a mirror shine. Elegant curved edges. Carved ornaments decorating each corner. Beautiful. Which made the idea of breaking it strangely satisfying.

She lowered herself onto the floor. Planting one boot against the middle drawer, she wrapped both hands around the brass handle. When she pulled, the desk answered with a groan. A faint creak filling the office. The handle dug into her palm. She tightened her grip and yanked harder—her arms strained, wrists screamed—but the drawer shifted barely an inch before stopping.

“Just let fucking go,” she groaned through clenched teeth before kicking the desk.

Something inside knocked softly against the wood. Sweat gathered along the back of her neck beneath the hoodie. Whatever sat inside had been important enough to lock away even from the people who worked here. Maybe it was nothing. More paperwork. More contracts. More proof that Yoongi's life revolved around numbers and signatures. Or maybe it was a key. Her documents. A phone. A gun. Something that could finally get her beyond the gate. Hope was dangerous. She knew that. Every time she'd let herself imagine escape, the mansion had found another way to remind her where she belonged. Still, she couldn't stop imagining what waited on the other side.

She rolled her shoulders. One slow breath. Then pulled with everything she had. Kicked again, harder.

Click.

For a long second, she didn't move. The sound seemed impossibly loud in the empty office. Slowly, almost afraid the moment would disappear if she moved too quickly, she raised herself on her knees. Her brain refused to make sense of what she was seeing. Rectangles stacked on rectangles. Neat. Uniform. Almost absurd.

Rubber bands. Numbers.

Money.

Bundles and bundles of cash. Packed so tightly together the rubber bands looked ready to snap. The faint scent of fresh paper and printer's ink reached her.

“Jesus Christ.”

The words escaped as little more than a breath. Carefully, she reached forward and touched the nearest stack. The paper crisp enough to scrape against her fingers.

Real. It was real.

Her gaze moved slowly across the drawer, trying to estimate how much sat in front of her. Thousands. Tens of thousands. Maybe more. Who kept this much cash in a desk? Someone who didn’t trust banks. Or someone rich enough not to care. Maybe someone who wanted her to find it. And he kept it hidden beneath his desk like spare batteries. Y/N laughed softly. A strange sound.

Ten million.

The price he’d paid for her. She looked at the money and saw herself. Bought. Stored. Hidden away. Just another possession locked inside his mansion. The only difference was that the drawer had opened.

With trembling hands she began stuffing bundles into her backpack. Half of it. More than she could reasonably carry. The weight felt reassuring.

For the first time in weeks, the future existed beyond tomorrow.

Leave. Simple.

The backpack hung heavily from her shoulder, its weight pulling against tired muscles. Money pressed against her back along with bottles of water, food, spare clothes, and everything else she'd managed to gather.

At the front door, she paused. Not because she was afraid, but because this was it. Days of planning. Waiting. Days spent staring through windows and imagining the town under—the narrow streets, crowded shops, strangers who didn't know her name. A life where nobody decided where she slept, what she wore, what she ate. A small smile found its way onto her face.

Her second chance.

Her hand closed around the handle. She drew in a slow breath and held it—the last breath inside the cage, the last time she'd feel it in her lungs. The last time she allowed men to use her.

She pushed the handle down. It moved. Halfway. Her smile lingered for another heartbeat before fading. She tried again. The handle stopped at the exact same point.

“Seriously?” she scoffed.

She rattled it harder, metal clinked, but the lock remained stubbornly silent.

“Come on.”

She shoved harder. The backpack shifted painfully against her shoulder. Her jaw tightened.

“Fine.”

She stepped back, rolling her aching shoulders until something in her spine cracked softly.

“It's fine.”

There were other exits. One of them had to work.

She crossed the hallway and grabbed the handle of the side entrance.

Locked.

The patio doors answered the same way.

Locked.

By the third handle, she already knew what she'd find.

By the fourth, she stopped hoping.

“It’s fine,” she repeated.

Her fingers disappeared into her hair, pushing it back from her before falling uselessly to her sides. The sun gleamed through the glass, bright and warm and impossibly close. She stood motionless in the center of the hallway. The mansion suddenly felt different. Larger. The ceilings seemed to climb higher than she remembered. The hallways stretched longer. The corners darker, less familiar. As though the house had quietly shifted around her while she wasn't looking.

Then something clicked.

Garage.

Right, the garage. Cars. Of course.

She almost laughed at herself. The solution had been there the entire time. She had been so focused on doors and locks that she hadn't thought beyond them. Her pace quickened. Then became a jog. The backpack bounced against her shoulder with every step, heavy with cash and possibility. Freedom suddenly felt embarrassingly close. She didn't need much. A train station. A bus. A cheap motel in the next town over. She didn't care. Anywhere would do. Anywhere that wasn't here.

The door to the garage groaned as she shoved it open. Three vehicles sat beneath white covers—waiting. Hope returned so violently it almost hurt.

“Oh, thank God.” The words escaped as a breath.

She hurried toward the nearest shape and grabbed the cover with both hands. The fabric slid away in one sweeping motion. A sleek wine-red sedan emerged beneath it.

That would do.

She could already see it. The mansion shrinking in the rearview mirror. The town she had stared at for days finally passing by outside the glass instead of taunting her from a distance.

Her fingers closed around the driver's side handle. The smile remained on her face for a second too long. She pulled again. Still nothing.

“No.”

She tried again, slower this time. Maybe luxurious cars worked differently. Maybe there was a button. Something. Her fingers searched desperately around the handle. Along the frame. Beneath the mirror.

“Okay.” The word came out thin.

Something caught her eye. Mounted beside the garage door hung a polished metal key rack. She stumbled toward it. Several engraved plaques sat beneath each hook.

Main entrance

Ghost

Panamare

DB12

00356

Empty hooks stared back at her. No spare keys. No emergency set tucked into the corner.

“No.”

Her pulse stumbled. Then accelerated.

“No… no, no.”

Maybe one door had been left unlocked. Maybe she'd missed something.

Driver's side.

Locked.

Passenger side.

Locked.

Rear door.

Locked.

The trunk.

Locked.

The second car.

The third.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Every handle answered the same way.

Every door remained shut.

A cold knot tightened deep in her stomach.

Every useful thing had vanished. Every solution had already been removed before she could think of it.

There had to be another way. There always was.

Workbench. Shelves. Tools. A heavy wrench. She lunged for it. The cold steel settled into her hands, reassuringly solid. One broken window. That was all she needed. Just one.

With a sharp cry she swung.

Bang.

The impact exploded through her arms. Pain shot into her shoulders. The window remained untouched.

Bang.

Harder.

Bang.

Bang!

BANG!

Each strike rattled her teeth. The wrench rebounded violently, sending shocks through her wristsrists. The glass didn't crack. Didn't chip. Didn't even scratch. It simply absorbed the blows.

“No!”

She hit it again. The wrench slipped from her sweat-slick fingers. It clattered across the concrete, dropping beside the SUV.

Not now. Not when she had finally done everything right.

Y/N stood motionless. Breathing hard. Staring at the untouched window. The untouched cars. The untouched world waiting beyond them. Slowly, her knees gave out. She slid down beside the garage door until her back hit the metal. The backpack dug into her shoulder. The money felt useless now. Worthless. Just paper.

What had she expected? That Yoongi would leave his cars unlocked? That the keys would be waiting in the ignition? That he'd leave her alone inside an unlocked house? A sob climbed into her throat. Then another. Before she realized what was happening, she was screaming. The sound tore out of her raw and broken. It bounced off the walls. Off the cars. Off the windows that refused to shatter. She screamed until her throat burned. Until tears blurred everything into shapeless streaks. Until the noise inside her finally matched the noise coming out.

Somewhere above her, a camera shifted with a faint mechanical hum. The lens turned. Found her. Stayed there. She stared back through blurred vision.

This wasn't what she wanted.

Just a few tables away, the couple remain in their seats with sweetest smiles that could compete with the food that's currently sitting on your plate. Your table is not quiet either.

Gabriel is a good company and he keeps the conversation alive. While he's finished with his dessert, only the empty plate is the only proof of it until the waiter takes it away, he lets you eat yours in peace as he tells you life stories. You're interested and equally joined in this conversation, regardless of your eyes drifting away every time Gabriel even slightly looks elsewhere. 

Much to your luck, he does not mention his friend and so you bluntly ignore their presence. At first glance. 

There's only so much you can do to try and ignore their known presence, until you hear Nara's laugh up to where you are. It's not the one that's annoying and makes head turns at the interruption. After all, you're outside and the sound of waves washes out most noise. 

But not even nature can blur this one out, as Gabriel merrily chuckles when he recognizes her laugh but continues in his talk. 

With no help, you naturally let your eyes wander toward their table. Jungkook's toothy grin makes you scrunch your nose at the fact he's actually having a good time. As if he could feel your eyes right away, he looks. Before you know it, his brows shoot up in a provocative manner as he takes a sip off his whiskey. 

You roll your eyes, making sure he sees it before you straighten your back. Ready to pop your elbows on the table to rest your chin on top of your hands – and give Gabriel's back your full attention – you bump into the tall glass that is yours.

A sound of surprise makes it out of your mouth as you both grab the glass and prevent it from spilling onto the white table. Even the cloth on the table looks expensive.

“Shit–”

Gabriel laughs, covering your hands with his as you both hold the glass. Your cheeks heat up by the accident that almost happened.

“Stop, or I will think I make you nervous.” he jokes, causing you to shake your head with laughter. 

“Men. You always think everything is about you.” you joke back.

He lets go of your hand, the warmth of it leaving yours as you put the glass in a safe distance. Briefly, your brows shoot up in a mocking manner right at the table with a perfect view of Jungkook. He catches it, mockingly rolling his eyes at you. 

As much as his presence is distracting, you try your best at not giving him any of your attention. But it seems as if you're playing a tennis match and you keep bouncing the invisible ball between you two – your two dates tonight completely oblivious. 

After a while, you excuse yourself to use the restroom – the amount of drinks you've had has caught up to you. You make sure you don't pass right by their table, making your presence known to clueless Nara. 

Unsure whether she would speak up first after seeing you or not, you don't test it just in case. 

You're not drunk, the drinks you've ordered aren't on the strong side. Also you've ordered a glass of water to make sure you're in a sober state. The slightest buzz caused by the alcohol is just a faint feeling and definitely not the cause of your heated cheeks. 

As you come out of the toilet and spot your reflection in the spotless mirror, you ask yourself; Why?

Your blood boils and the pent up tension that seems to be between you two is taking a proper grip on you. Washing your hands with a nice scented soap, your mind goes back to the conversation you had back at the water park. 

You're an idiot. You've understood that Jungkook just wants to make decisions on his own. They don't concern you. Until they do.

Both having your own reasons, you understand your own. This can't keep going on for any longer.

Jungkook sees it far more freely than you do. You're already playing with fire – you have been for a long time and it scares you of what it could lead to happen. 

It's not even about Jungkook. It's about you. And about your weakness when it comes to him. 

Drying your hands, you sigh and try to correct your faded out lipstick. Of course, you've forgotten to bring your purse with you. 

With determination to get back and maybe pack it up here, you pull the door with force and make your way to the table, where Gabriel's waiting. Plan is to not look toward the certain table, not making known your obvious awareness of their presence. Checking on Gabriel, you almost stumble in your tracks as you stare at the couple standing by the table. 

Your table.

You've got to be kidding me.

Nara's voice is more audible with each step you take, trying to appear unbothered by the fact they just had to butt in. Well, what can you do, right? It was most likely inevitable.

Her cheerful mood is a mocking difference to your gloomy one that suddenly appears by the realization she came to say hi. She's quick, cheeks swelled up in a huge smile and for a moment, you feel awful for not being able to replicate her happiness.

Behind her, Jungkook not so willingly stands there. His whole stance is not hiding that he would much rather take a different route than to your table. His face does not look amused while yours awakens.

“We noticed you before, we just didn't want to interrupt.” You hear Gabriel who smiles warmly. 

“Are you enjoying your date?”

Your first natural reaction and response is to correct her, to deny that this is not a date. You're not sure what Gabriel told her, or his friends, but regardless of how romantic this set-up is – this is not exactly a date. 

It's in a very much friendly atmosphere and you both gathered from all the talking, that relationship just doesn't work for any of you right now. Gabriel's initiative plan of a hook-up has been swept away under the rug by you. 

Going back to your seat, you briefly look at Jungkook who just stares with a little bored glare.

Your so-called date tonight opens his mouth, about to correct her by himself so he keeps the things straight mainly for you, but before he can your smile widens. 

“Great. Gabriel picked out the best place.” You compliment him, giving him a look of appreciation as he seems to be fond of it. His bright smile says it all.

“Him and Jungkook think alike then.” Nara compliments Jungkook, her brown eyes moving to him while there are stars dancing in them. 

But he stares at you. It lasts a split second but then he gives her a faint smile and a mere nod. 

“What are your plans after this?”

“We haven't talked about it that much. We were planning to go for a walk.” you respond, looking at Gabriel in question who nods to your statement.

“Well, I was about to take Jungkook to one of the clubs here. It's a different vibe.”

“Club? I don't know…” you mutter unsurely, not totally sold by her idea of how tonight should continue. But the truth is that spending it with them – out of all people – seems like a sabotage.

“You love clubs.” Jungkook speaks up, eyes daring you to say otherwise as your jaw clenches.

“I do?”

“Especially dancing on tables,” he adds.

Gabriel shows a sudden interest, a surprised but pleased sound coming out of his mouth as he questions you with a bright; “Really?”

“That's great! We should definitely end tonight on a double-date.”

You make a grimace, clearly not showing any interest in that but once you give Gabriel a look, he seems to be enthusiastic by the idea. You should've known he's too free spirited to pass this chance. 

“Don't worry. If you end up dancing on a table, I will be there to hold you.” Gabriel tries to joke.

It's not even the fact he's joking on your account, it's what he says that causes you and Jungkook to stare at each other knowingly. 

“Oh please,” you scoff, “Jungkook is bringing up something that happened once–”

And had so much more content to it of why you ended up drunk out of your ass.

“He's not one to brag when it comes to being wasted either.”

Jungkook scoffs at the audacity, a tongue poking his cheek as he prevents himself from adding up to the exchange of words you're having. 

“The decision is up to you. But I've checked the weather app and it shows it's supposed to rain. Just wanted to inform you, so you don't end up soaked.” Gabriel says, ignoring your little banter which seems like old friends or siblings bantering. 

If they notice the sour mood, they don't comment on it. At this point, you think they are just pretending they are not aware of it to make everyone more comfortable. 

“I'm not afraid of little rain.” 

Gabriel smirks, “Great. Neither am I.”

“Great! So you're joining us? Come on! When are we gonna see each other again?”

Hopefully never again.

“Fine.” you mutter.

“We'll wait outside.” Nara says, motioning for Jungkook to leave the two of you alone. Without looking your way, he turns around and follows her. You chuckle under your breath as Gabriel calls out for the waiter.

It's time to leave either way. After all, there are reservations for this place and you were ready to leave any minute. The waiter comes and before you open your purse, Gabriel quickly pays off the check, of course not agreeing with you splitting it.

“I could've paid the half.” you make sure to tell him as you both stand up, a little frown settled on both your face and lips.

Gabriel laughs, “You can buy me a drink at the club.”

Following him out of the restaurant, you bid goodbye to the staff before you make way outside. Seeing Nara and Jungkook waiting. He keeps his hands inside his pockets, sighing as he leans his back and stares at the dark sky above him. 

He doesn't see it. But Nara keeps his eyes on him the entire time, the little stars of admiration seeps out all the way to here. 

Once you join them, Gabriel offers to get a cab. You wait very shortly for it, enough for Gabriel and Nara gush about this restaurant while you remain silent. Jungkook joins their conversation, all of a sudden showing an interest which mentally causes you to scoff. 

In the cab, you end up sandwiched between Jungkook and Gabriel, after Nara complains she doesn't feel well sitting in the backseat. 

Your knee keeps touching Jungkook's, as much as you try to keep every part of your body from touching both of them. As the driver drives over countless bumps, their sides keep bumping into yours.

What a great ride.

Expectations are a part of our lives. 

If you thought about a true Hawaiian party, you imagine drinking  from a coconut shell – preferably outside on a beach. Once the cab stops and drops you in front of a square building, you realize tonight will be nothing like that.

Almost clawing out of the cab, you're glad to be met with less suffocating air that reeked between you in the backseat. You make the best of it and finally catch a breath, ignoring the way your lungs and heart pounds.

Feeling a hand on your back, you're met with Gabriel's excited gaze at the club's building. There's a big neon sized sign, making it seem as one of those you get to see in GTA games.

“This place is right outta GTA.” 

Poking your cheek at Jungkook's comment full of amazement and excitement, you wonder if it was a good idea to agree to come with them. It wasn't. No matter how many times you convince yourself that you'll be having fun, he's just always here. He doesn't even have to do anything. It's his pure presence. 

Your holiday is surely coming to an end, not having to spend your last days with Jungkook feels… wrong. All it takes for you to sit down and just have a proper conversation about it. But that hasn't seemed to help. Whenever you talk, it ends up in argument – both of you clearly have different views and even though there comes a certain understanding, it just gets twisted and then you're back to square one.

No progress, just this enormous tension, you happily let Gabriel to guide you inside. Jungkook and Nara stay behind, following you slowly as you find yourself in the middle of Gabriel's and Nara's conversation.

Once the bouncer lets you in, not even caring to check IDs, murmuring to all of you to have fun, you're surprised to be met with stairs that lead to the basement. Not only it seems dodgy as hell, you hesitate and for some stupid reason, you search for Jungkook. 

He seems to catch your gaze, features softening as Nara excitedly walks down the stairs. The bass suddenly booms in the place, startling you as the crowd screams in enjoyment. 

“Woah, seems very lively here.” Gabriel comments, following Nara without a question.

“You good?” Jungkook asks, taking a few steps down as he stops. A few steps below you, he looks up at you.

“Yeah,” you nod, watching him give you a brief nod before he follows the others. An odd feeling from what seems like a normal interaction melts in your chest, wondering if there's a chance that you two just get over this.

Everything got twisted, with your help of course and without any doubt, you're more than ready to admit it. Jungkook has taken it more to his heart than you would've ever guessed. 

Your doubt about this place is slowly wiped off once you get inside, the club truly thriving at its best. The club is fully packed and you keep your eyes on Jungkook's back, not wanting to lose them. Luckily, they wait for you and the entire group to get together before you dive into the crowd to try and find a place to sit and have a drink. 

A few moments later and a few people bumping into you, you're luckily able to find one table unoccupied. There are empty glasses left that are put to the edge of the table, hopefully soon taken away. The stench of hard liquor can be smelled around the entire booth.

“I'm gonna get us drinks. Jungkook, give me a hand?”

Jungkook keeps his features neutral, hardly giving any reaction after he's been addressed to. You know better though. By the way his eyes move up and down Gabriel's face, you can tell the underlying irritation of being even addressed by Gabriel. 

Whatever his problem is, it's quite entertaining to watch. Especially when everyone's clueless.

“I would rather not leave the girls alone.”

Fuck. You hate your first hand reaction and by looking at Nara, who's swooning over him and already salivating at how that simple action and sentence screams attraction and good manners, you're far better at hiding it.

Nara can't keep her eyes off your friend, not giving  a damn how obvious she is. 

Gabriel seems slightly embarrassed that he hasn't thought about it, nodding.

“The bar is right there, you should be able to see us.” Nara butts in, clearly complimented by Jungkook's previous statement of not wanting to let you out of his sight. 

Jungkook doesn't seem to be convinced. Before he can state otherwise to Nara's input, they convince him they'll be right back. As you watch Jungkook going to the bar, stopping there and looking your way right away to check, you and Nara are already watching him.

Looking away, you cross your legs before Nara sits down on the opposite side, facing the bar with her back. She turns to you with a bright smile.

“He's perfect.”

A little stunned by her words, you don't hide your expression as she giggles because of your reaction. 

“I'm sorry for being so straight-forward. It's probably weird for you.”

You haven't had the chance to talk to her alone. All the times you actually spent in her presence, there were other people around – their friends included. It feels a little odd but you don't have to make it any more weird than it has to be. 

Because in the end – it doesn't have to be, right? 

This is what you wanted. There's a woman mesmerized by Jungkook, a possible someone in his life whether that includes just fun or something more. Knowing how the universe tends to give you a reality check and a whiplash, you quickly leave this thought alone. 

“Why's that?” you question, seeming unbothered. Letting your shoulders to relax and convince yourself there's not a reason why you just have a specific stand toward her. 

Girls should help each other, right?

Girls should stand with each other.

Where has your feminism gone? 

“Well,” she giggles, “I mean he's your best friend, you probably don't wanna hear me gushing about him.”

You don't have to hear about it because she makes it pretty much obvious. Be nice!

Reminding yourself to behave, almost as if you could hear Jungkook somewhere in the back of your mind, you put up a tight smile. “It's fine.”

“You're probably used to it.”

She expects a response, your eyes traveling to left and right as you shrug. “I don't really care about it.”

Him attracting female's gazes just comes with him. It’s like cherries coming with a pit. They’re just like that.

Nara looks behind her, checking on the guys to see them still waiting as Jungkook briefly checks on you two once again. She smiles at him, causing him to wave at her as you fight off the natural response of rolling your eyes. 

It’s clear she doesn’t want to rip her eyes off him, but she does in the end just to be back in the same position. Facing you with her full interest. Once she speaks, you understand why.

“Jungkook told me about the break-up he went through.”

You’re trying hard not to show your obvious shock. It has never occurred to you that he might've mentioned that part of his life to someone, who in the end is just a stranger. Or at least that’s what you’re trying to tell yourself but that’s besides the point now. 

Learning now that he has spoken to her about it doesn’t really sit well with you. Not for any vile reasons, but it just leaves a weird feeling inside you. Jungkook has always been someone who can find friends easily, have almost any kind of conversation with the other person. 

However, the break-up being this particular topic is not something you would’ve ever guessed. Perhaps, it’s not even about the topic itself but the fact that he has so easily closed off any parts of it. Regardless of him being able to talk almost about everything, the break-up was never one of them. 

Even with you – you, Jimin and Taehyung – he seemed to put an end to it and not really talk about it, unless one of you started it. Politely as it can be, he would answer but not dwell on it for too long. He closed off that chapter.

“He did?” you breathe out, having a hard time to believe it.

It’s not like she’s lying. Obviously, she knows about it. To what extent, you’re not sure. 

“Yeah, he mentioned it. Never got into really much detail, I totally respect that.”

Not really sure what to respond, you nod.

“Did he move on?”

Your eyes got bigger, surprised not only by her sudden question but more by her boldness. Her voice is soft, not coming out as the annoyingly nosy kind.

“Shouldn’t you be asking him that?”

No matter how harmless she sounds, Jungkook is still your best friend and you won’t be spilling his secrets or personal stuff. That’s not loyal nor nice. 

“I did,” she says. 

Oh.

“I just–maybe it’s silly but–I just wanted to hear your thoughts on it.”

You blink, a frown making its way on your lips. Her facial expression doesn’t drastically change, more of a confirmation crosses her features. It’s obvious you won’t say anything more than Jungkook has. More so, it’s a confirmation that you have his back no matter what. 

Considering where your relationship is at now, it does make you sad. But like you said. No matter what – you both have each other's back. The thought of it not being like that freaking scares you.

“Like–do you think he has moved on?” she asks sheepishly, playing with her perfectly cut nails. 

Noticing her slight discomfort caused by her own curiosity, you decide to end it. 

“Yeah, I think he has.”

Her eyes don’t leave yours, she listens carefully and once she gets her response, she immediately sighs in relief. Understandably. Nobody wants a guy who hangs up on his ex. Before she can say anything else, something that clearly proves her relief, the guys come back. A drink is placed in front of you and you waste no time in drinking it.

“Are we gonna dance or what?” Gabriel asks, clearly in the mood to show his Italian roots.

Surprisingly, you’re the first one to place your palms against the table to brace yourself to stand up. “Let’s go!”

You came here to have fun. Gabriel seems to be pleased by your decision to join him right away. He quickly goes and throws a shot down his throat. Jungkook brushes past you to sit down, your jaw tensing at the close proximity. 

Gabriel reaches his hand toward you, ready for you to take it. Jungkook sits down in the booth, arm resting against the frame as the other one reaches for his glass. He takes a slow sip of his whiskey, his eyes not leaving yours. 

Quickly accepting Gabriel’s hands, you let him take you to the dance floor and away from the intensive brown eyes. 

Hoping Gabriel won’t take it as an opportunity to touch you more than necessary, you’re relieved he mostly keeps his hands to himself, even though his proximity is close. At least that allows you to relax a little bit. You’re not feeling yourself as much as you would if you would’ve drank more. Damn it. 

Jungkook was right. You lose yourself a lot more when you drink. Which is not necessarily always positive, but it does allow you to relax and don’t care about your dance moves. Luckily, Gabriel is a great dancer and twirls you cutely to some kind of Hawaiian remix that genuinely makes you giggle through it all.

Once you come back to the table to drink more, a glass of water already awaits you. Knowing well damn who has put it there, you avoid the same brown eyes that are no longer aimed at you. Screw him for being still so attentive. 

Him and Nara seem to be in a conversation which you slightly interrupt. She seems a bit disappointed that her alone time with Jungkook has come to a pause. 

“You up for a dance?”

Well, she surely wastes no time. 

Jungkook seems to be enjoying the same drink he had when you went dancing. Judging by the neutral expression he’s sporting, you see he’s not really in the mood to dance. There’s just something sour about him being so… bland. 

Not waiting for his answer that is clearly not meant for you anyway, you don’t bother brushing past him while he’s still sitting. Your butt almost in his face, an apology is sitting on the tip of your tongue but you decide to not be the first one to speak up. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem to be wasting his time either. “Yeah.” he says, standing up before you can plop onto the seat next to him.

Trying not to take it personally, it surely does look like you can’t be in each other's presence. The absurdity of the events is comical. First Gabriel takes you away, now Nara does the same to Jungkook.

Once Gabriel sits down and catches one of the waitresses to order drinks for you, he’s talking to you through the loud music. He chose to order the drinks, knowing it might take longer than going straight to the bar. He wants to talk and doesn’t want to leave you alone. 

It should be flattering and it is, yet you don’t hold that thought for too long. 

Since Gabriel’s voice is not audible enough to hear him properly – and his vocal chords most likely about to suffer – he decides to slide closer to you. He occupies the seat next to you and even jokes it’s better this way, which is understandable. Yet the look he’s got in his eyes tells you he talks more about your proximity than the obvious practicality of your conversation. 

You can smell a faint pinch of alcohol on his breath, his demeanor starting to loosen up even more. All of a sudden, your eyes dance across the dance floor to find only one person. It takes a while and a few oblivious glances toward the crowd until you spot him. 

Seeing them two from the distance, you bite the inside of your cheek at how good they look together. Two good looking people are dancing, their moves smooth and if you didn’t know better, you would assume there’s something going on between them. Perhaps there is. 

For one ridiculous second, you imagine yourself in Nara’s place. You catch yourself wishing that it would be you and Jungkook dancing together. 

For fuck sake!

You fight the urge to rip out your hair, simply because your mouth says something and your mind goes completely against it. None of this is normal. Normal is Jungkook hanging out with a woman, while you’re being a good friend and should be completely supportive. After all, it was your idea and push that originally pushed him to enjoy his time with someone else. 

You’ve voiced it out differently than it came out which only brings you back to your never-ending thoughts. Jungkook was right. It’s not your decision to make. And it’s clear if he wanted to be with someone else, whether it’s a relationship or a hook-up, he could easily do so. You never doubt it.

Selfishly, you made that decision based on your fears and the odd feelings.

To think you should’ve had the time of your lives, you’re bummed to declare that this vacation is the worst vacation you’ve taken. Not only have you managed to get into a fight with Jungkook, every second here feels like a punishment as well. 

You’re here with Gabriel, who wants to have everything you allow him to have. He’s respectful, has been a good friend and never crossed a line, even though he made his original intentions known. Yet, he’s not someone you would hook-up.

Why? You ask yourself. 

He’s a good looking guy. A few women here stare at him, probably wondering why he’s in your presence when there’s not even an ounce of something happening between you. He’s talked so much about his life and himself, that you feel as if you’ve known him for months. Stranger, yet he’s someone you know a lot about.

He’s easy-going, friendly and polite. Among everything that has to do with his tan and dark hair. 

And here you are. Staring at your best friend instead, going at it with some woman you randomly met, wishing it was just you and him. 

Nara suddenly turns around and shamelessly puts her arms around Jungkook’s neck. He seems surprised, you notice it simply by the way he freezes for a moment, his arms not moving but still resting on her hips. That’s when you decide to swallow and quickly turn around.

You screwed up.

“Why?”

“What,” you almost shriek, staring at Gabriel who mimics a confusion. 

“You just said fuck.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. Just now.”

Your cheeks start to feel hot and you fight the urge to fan your face. It’s really getting hot here. Chuckling nervously, you swim in your own embarrassment wondering if you really said something out loud. You haven’t noticed! That has never happened to you!

There’s not a hint of joking or amusement on Gabriel’s face and he looks rather… worried. 

“Listen,” he says, still loud enough for you to hear. “Is something wrong?”

“Why?”

“I mean like–have I crossed a line or something?”

“No, why? Why would you ask that?” Suddenly, a guilt starts building up and you almost panic you’ve managed to fuck up another thing.

“You seem off ever since we came back from the dancing. Even before that, actually.”

You try to deny, but the way he raises his brow at you tells you to think about it twice. 

“Hey,” he says softly, searching your face and forcing your eyes to look at his. “I’m not trying to come out as pushy. I’m perfectly fine just hanging out, it’s almost time for us to say goodbye. I’m fine with whatever you give me. But if you don’t wanna be around me–just say so.”

“Gabriel,” you breathe out, shaking your head. “That’s not–I don’t mind you being around me.”

“What’s wrong then?” he asks.

You lean forward, elbows on the table as you cover your face for a moment. Taking a deep breath, you embrace yourself to face him again. “I’m sorry.”

“For what though?” 

“For not being… present? I haven’t been in a mood.”

“But you were perfectly fine before.”

That’s what I made you think.

One advantage of him not knowing you well. 

“I screwed up.”

“You haven’t.”

“Yes, I have.” you argue, almost whining. 

“How?”

“I–we had a fight with Jungkook.”

“Okay?” he asks, surprised yet keeps his cool. “Friends fight, right?”

“They do–I just kinda pushed him to hang out with other people.”

“And how is that bad?”

“You don’t understand.” you shake your head.

He leans forward, “Then make me understand.”

Sighing, you lean back against your seat. There’s no way you’re about to spill everything to him. It wouldn’t help. What you can give him though, it’s a partial truth. 

“I pushed him away, so he could… meet someone new.” you admit embarrassingly.

“And that’s not what he wanted?”

You nod. “I thought I was doing the right thing. He went through something and I just thought–I was being selfish.”

“Y/N,” Gabriel laughs softly, “Jungkook is an adult. I’m sure he can take care of himself.”

“No, I know.”

“And if he didn’t want to hang out with Nara, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. He’s not doing it just because you told him to, right?”

Well, you never technically told him to hang out with her specifically. It was meant in general which doesn’t really matter now. 

“God, I hope so.”

“Trust me, he isn’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“What kind of person would he be? I might not know him that well like you, but let me tell you something… he definitely doesn’t seem like the type who’s doing everything someone tells him. Look at him–”

You would rather not. 

And you don’t. 

Gabriel shows somewhere in the crowd and you’re actually not interested to look. Not anymore.

“He is having fun.”

That leaves a sour expression on your face that you’re trying hard to control. 

“And it’s time for you to have fun as well. I’m sure you can talk about it later.”

You’re unsure. But once Gabriel asks if you want more drinks, you don’t hesitate to agree. A few minutes later and your drinks are sitting in front of you. Luckily, the topic changes naturally and none of you dwell on whatever has been said. 

The familiar tingle in your muscles that causes you to relax is awakened. Gabriel orders you a glass of water too, which causes you to smile.

“You’re such a gentleman.”

“Are you drunk already?” he laughs which causes you to nudge him. 

“I’m trying to be nice, so take the compliment.”

“I will gladly take this one.” he hums, not tearing his eyes off you.

They’re really brown. You’re not sure if you ever noticed it that much. Maybe it’s the lights, or the lack of, but they seem to shine. He looks… happy. 

“I will be very bummed to say goodbye.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” you laugh.

“I’m not,” he shakes his head with a smile. “I probably won’t see you again.”

“You will live.”

He laughs at that and how easy you shake off his dramatic words. 

“Come on, let’s dance.”

“Is this the time you take it on the table?”

You give him a look, “No. That happened once and I had a great reason for it.”

“I’m curious now.”

“Maybe you will learn about it. Let’s dance now.” 

You stand up, outstretching your hand toward him. He looks surprised by the initiated contact but happily takes it. You lead him toward the dance floor, no longer caring about anyone’s drinks. You’ve been sitting there for a while and Jungkook hasn’t returned with Nara. 

Grasping Gabriel’s hand and intertwining his hands with yours, you start dancing to an unknown song that just makes you want to move to its contagious melody. Gabriel naturally turns you around, hovering his arm over your figure so you can twirl beneath it. 

With a wide smile, you start to laugh when Gabriel picks up the pace of his dance moves, twirling you around like a doll. “Gabriel!”

You hear him laughing behind you, slightly pressing his chest against your back. He still keeps it respectful and he’s not fully pressed against you. As your eyes move elsewhere, the smile suddenly freezes and slowly drops. 

Jungkook starts right back at you.

Just a few feet away, there he is. Standing beneath the colorful changing lights with a stoic look. Seconds later, you’re reminded of his company as the long fingers brush against his chest, coming from behind him smoothly like a snake, wrapping around its prey. 

Okay, that’s kind of dramatic and harsh. Minus you comparing her to a snake, you applaud yourself for the poetic words. 

She can’t keep her hands to herself, completely oblivious that Jungkook has stopped moving and she’s the one brushing against him – too close to be described as something sexual. And then you notice it.

This is what you wanted, right?

It’s written all over his face. Taking it as a provocation, you make sure he sees the glare you give him before you turn around and wrap your arms around Gabriel’s neck. He seems a little surprised by your sudden interest, but happily enjoys the close proximity. Unfortunately for you, he sways your bodies and makes you face the pair again. 

Nobody forces you to look there. The curiosity and the fire burning inside you do. And you curse yourself for it. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

Whatever this is, it’s absolutely dumb. 

Wishing you never look, you’re not forced to stare at Jungkook’s hands all over Nara’s body and you swear, you feel sick to your stomach. 

Stopping your movements, Gabriel notices right away and you quickly wipe the sudden concern mixed with curiosity off his face. 

“I’m thirsty. My legs are killing me.”

Gabriel laughs, “Already? Where is the girl that danced on the table?”

“She’s in there somewhere, trust me.” you comment through your teeth.

He laughs again, “Okay. Let me get you a glass of water.”

“Okay. I’m gonna use the restroom and fix my make-up.”

“Nothing to fix. You’re beautiful.” 

The smug look makes you roll your eyes playfully. “Keep trying, bud.”

He laughs, shaking his head at you as he salutes you. You part your ways, your legs ushering you to the restroom. 

There’s a girl leaving the stall to wash her hands. You share a smile before you hide your flushed face in one of the stalls. As you finish your business, you flash the toilet and make your way toward the set of sinks. Met with an empty bathroom, you wash your hands as you catch a glimpse of your reflection. 

Your lipstick is slightly smudged, must have happened from the few drinks and you licking your lips. The one you’ve chosen to wear tonight is unfortunately not waterproof, so it was bound to happen. Trying to fix the corners of your lips, you wonder if you should just call it a night. 

You don’t get a good feeling from this. You’ve danced, drank and that’s about it. It’s better to leave before any of you drink some more. You’ve learned your lesson and you’re not about to spend tonight wasted, probably regretting things that haven’t happened yet tomorrow. 

With determination to get back and maybe pack it up here, you pull the door with force but you stop in your tracks, almost bumping to no one else than Jungkook himself. Gasping in shock while he remains unfazed, your shock is soon replaced by annoyance. 

He's leaning against the door with his arm, hovering over you. 

“Are you having fun?”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you cock your brow at him.

“I do,” you respond, “Which can't be said about you when you've stalked me to the restroom. Which I may add, this is a ladies' restroom.”

“Oh, I am having fun.” he clarifies, “Especially seeing you bored out of your mind by your date tonight.”

You scoff but he tries to look thoughtfully. 

“It's entertaining.”

“Your date must be boring as well when you have the time to watch us. Not to mention you have to be entertained by us. You're welcome for making your date better.”

Now he's the one who scoffs. “Please, his desperation reeks through this place. It's hard not to watch.”

“What desperation.”

“Nara told me about him. He's not the relationship kind of guy, not that I haven't noticed but she confirmed it on her own.”

“Nice, you even talk about us. How sweet!”

Jungkook's eyes narrow, “Trust me. Talking about any of you is the furthest of my wishes.”

“Nice to know. Now move.”

Ready to walk past him, he blocks your path and decides to stay right in the door frame.

“Seriously?”

“Have you kissed him?”

You scoff out loud, turning to walk inside the restroom and surprisingly, Jungkook joins you. 

“This is lad–”

“I don't care. Just answer.”

“Why does it matter?”

He furrows his brows, “Just wanna know.”

“Have you kissed Nara?”

It's like he expects this question, however has zero reaction to it as he bluntly says; “No.”

“Why?”

“Because I don't want to.”

You hate how happy that makes you inside. And this is what your problem is. No matter what – you see and feel Jungkook. 

“Have you?” He pushes again without saying the rest of the question. He doesn't have to. 

Clenching your jaw, you don't want him to give him any satisfaction of knowing the truth. Jungkook knows you're honest and that you wouldn't lie about stuff like this. 

Huffing out, you mutter annoyed; “No.”

“Why?”

“There was no time to.” you snap, trying to walk past him again but he stops you without touching you. He stands in your way again as if he could see right through your bullshit.

You're sure that if you gave Gabriel a hint, he would definitely take you up on that kiss. Probably a lot more than that. 

“Stop lying.”

“I am not. People usually kiss after a date.”

“Stop lying.”

Fucking hell.

“What are we playing at?” he asks out of a sudden, making you look away. 

“Meeting new people.” you reply.

“I don't believe you.”

You stare. Those dark big eyes stare at you and you're reminded how many times you've seen them in a million different ways. He's familiar. He's Jungkook. Your Jungkook.

He doesn't feel like a stranger. He's home. But there's still a faint feeling of distance you have between each other and that's the exact opposite you've wanted. You've caused this. But all you've wanted is to get back to the friendship you've had.

“Why haven't you kissed him yet? And be honest to yourself, not just to me.”

“Because I don't want to. Not yet.”

“If he's gonna push himself on you, I'm breaking his neck.”

“Jungkook!”

“I don't care what's going on between us, Y/N. But I'm not gonna allow some stranger to just play you for a good fuck. You don't know this man.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I care about you. I don't care if we're fighting like a bunch of kids. But if something happens to you–”

“I am getting to know him. I'm safe.”

He stares with those deadly serious eyes, he looks angry. Not at you, in general. 

“Did Nara something tell you?”

He stays silent.

“About Gabriel?”

You know Jungkook. He wouldn't flip out just like that. So it does make you question if there's any possibility of Gabriel having a side you don't know yet. Not the one you want to get to know anyway.

“Nothing you already don't know, I'm guessing.”

“He's been honest with me, I'm aware he's not looking for a relationship. We're just having–fun.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” he exclaims.

“You sound like a jealous boyfriend. Get a grip.”

“Makes two of us.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can hide it all you want but Nara's presence bothers you.”

“No, it does not. You're the one who doesn't want to kiss her. Why are you wasting her time?”

“Spending an enjoyable time with someone doesn't have to revolve around kissing and having sex. Not as much as you've tried to push it up on me.”

“I made a mistake. I thought I was doing something beneficial.” you clarify.

“Beneficial for who?” Is all he says before he walks away with no bother in the world. 

Somehow, you can't seem to talk without getting into an argument. That realization should make you cry. It doesn't. But maybe it will until all the frustration and madness fade away.

Coming back to where the party is pretty much alive, you’re pulled onto the dance floor by Gabriel. His movements smoother, caused by the alcohol consumed. Letting go of that conversation that happened in the restroom, you get consumed by his dance moves. Doing everything to enjoy your time here rather than going back to the only man who seems to be clouding your mind. 

Turned with your back, almost pressed against Gabriel’s chest, his hands seem to be more courageous and exploring your hips, close touching  your ass. 

Blinding red lights cross over your features, drowning every corner and face in them. And you’re too in your head, going back to him despite being in the company of someone completely else. So in your thoughts that you barely notice Gabriel’s hand brushing against your ass, testing the waters as one would say. 

Waking out of your unwanted daze, you turn around and give Gabriel a nervous chuckle, not really sure if you’re dancing for this. He gives you a half-drunken smile, pulling you closer smoothly, yet your breath is knocked out of you from the sudden shock. 

“Uhh–”

You’re not sure if he hears you, too immersed in whatever’s going in his head but you see the flicker of his eyes toward your lips. Freezing, knowing what’s coming but you’re stuck in your place.

“Gab–”

He makes a sound of acknowledgement, but he doesn’t seem to be paying too much attention to anything other than the one feature his eyes seem to be glued onto. One hand holds the back of your neck, tilting your head ever so slightly causing your eyes to almost bulge out of their sockets. 

Is this what you want? 

It’s not those hands you’re used to. And that’s what scares you. You’re already comparing in your head and you wonder if you just let him do this. To experience something–no, someone different. This is your chance.

Head saying something, but your body doesn’t listen and for some reason, your hand finds his stomach and you slightly push. He doesn’t seem to get the clue and his head moves closer. Before you can process what’s happening, Gabriel’s warmth and proximity leaves and a cold air hits your face for a moment. 

“What the hell, man?” Gabriel seems to shake himself out of his daze.

Jungkook’s back is facing you, broad shoulders and muscles flexing. Without seeing his face, you know that scold is decorating his usually soft features. 

“No. What the fuck.” Jungkook says in his face, surprisingly not dripping with venom in his voice as you would expect him to. 

“We were dancing.”

You shake yourself out of the daze, coming in between them and without realizing touching and squeezing Jungkook’s forearm. 

“She clearly pushed you away.”

“You guys–”

“What–you didn’t.” Gabriel protests, suddenly growing embarrassed. 

“He was about to kiss you.”

He stares at you, not moving an inch as your gaze falls down in slight embarrassment.

Something crosses his face and he nods, chuckling to himself. “Right.”

“Then I will leave you up to it.”

And he leaves, brushing through the crowd effortlessly as you watch in desperation.

“Is it true?” Gabriel asks, stepping closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I–” he shakes his head, “I drank too much.”

No. He’s not wasted. You can tell he’s had a few drinks, but it’s nothing too bad. 

“No, it’s um–I’m just not feeling it tonight.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Mix of confusion and embarrassment is seen on his face but you excuse yourself and go on a hunt to find Jungkook. 

Going in the same direction he went, your eyes search everywhere for him. Not being able to find him anywhere, you wonder if he just left. A part of you argues with you, he wouldn’t leave you here. But not being able to find him anywhere wonders if… 

Shaking your head, you’re about to try and go outside, thinking he just went to get some fresh air. As you check one last time, it happens to be the it and from the corner of your eyes, it’s just a few seconds but you recognize him immediately. The choice of his clothing, the way he holds himself. Even the way his body moves.

And the woman in front of him, copying his dance moves. Anger bubbles inside you and for a moment, you wonder if you should do the same to him. He’s unbelievable. 

You cannot believe him.

You left Gabriel in the middle of the dance floor just to find Jungkook in the very same position, not giving a damn he nearly caused a scene. Complementing to go there and give him a piece of your mind, he gives Nara a twirl and something urges him to look in your direction, spotting you there. 

You huff, shaking your head in disbelief as you make your way out of there. You’re not rushing out of there, growing tired of whatever this game is or absurd situation. Tonight should just end already. 

Getting outside feels like a sudden relief, soon to be replaced by shock as rain pours down, drenching you immediately. Yet, there’s something calming about the crazy change of weather. It’s easier to breathe, freshness enters your airways.

Someone opens the door and you feel the presence without having a look. His presence. 

“You’ll get drenched.”

Informative and almost expressionless, you chuckle under your breath.

“Already am.”

“You don’t have to stand there though.”

You turn around, glaring at him. “Why do you care?”

“Is that even a question?”

Pulling lips into a thin line, you scoff. “You’re selfish, you know that?”

His brows shoot up for a moment. “Tell me more.”

“Are you serious?”

He shrugs, “Do tell.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Okay.”

You come closer, having an urge to punch him across the face but you stop yourself, hands in fists. 

“You come, push Gabriel away for dancing with me and then you do the same with Nara. How does that make sense?” You almost exclaim in total despair.

“No, I pushed him because he went for a kiss and you clearly pushed him.”

“Oh, it was a mere touch.”

He scoffs loudly, hands covering his mouth as he nods with jaw clenched, brushing his fingers across his lips to stop himself from saying something. 

“If a woman puts her hands on me and puts a pressure to pull me away, that’s where I draw the line. But then again, I would never kiss someone who clearly doesn’t want it. I would make sure she wants it.”

“Don’t you know it all.”

“Respect toward women? I think I do. It’s a bare minimum.”

God, he’s insufferable! Insatiable, idiotic and yet – absolutely right. But you’re mad at him. Too mad to tell him he’s right. Only because he’s clearly angry at Gabriel. Slightly dramatic too. You would handle it. You didn’t need him to come there and rescue you from an innocent kiss. If it happened, you would communicate it with Gabriel if it didn’t feel right.

“You’re overreacting. You’re making it seem as if Gabriel pushed his tongue down my throat.”

“Lie to yourself all you want. But I know you. Inside and out.”

Rolling your eyes, you wave your hand. “Whatever.”

“No. No. It’s not whatever. It’s the truth. If you would’ve wanted it, I know what that looks like and let me tell you–” He points the finger toward the club. “That was not it.”

“Well, thanks for the rescue then. You can go back.”

He stares, not moving an inch. He gently moves his hand toward your face, tugging a piece of strand hair that’s stuck to the side of your cheek due to rain. You don’t move, in fact, your breath is caught in your throat as your heart erupts in your chest. A rush of adrenaline circulating in your system. 

Eyes dropping down to your lips, his thumb brushing against them, wiping some of your surely smudged lipstick in its corner. The other hand goes to the back of your neck, squeezing you there. Head dropping down, he’s not touching you with none of his features – nose and lips close to bumping and you catch yourself slightly pulling toward him. He’s like a magnet.

And then he pulls you away.

“This is what it would’ve looked like if you wanted it.”

Waking up from under the spell he so effortlessly made on you, your features twist into an annoyance and anger. He doesn’t look smug about it. He just accepts the truth, pointing you exactly that. It annoys you to the core and you scoff.

“That’s because I’m only used to it.”

He grins, nothing cheerful about it. It’s sassy and calling you on your bullshit. 

“You’re not giving me any space to experience something else.”

His brows raise, smugness coming to life as he bites his lips, nodding. It pisses you off so much, but all you can do is to stare at his own drenched form as his dark hair gets even darker under the moonlight and street lights.

“Tell yourself that all you want.”

A few beats of your heart, the time seems to stop for a moment until the door of the club opens and the two people that are easier to blame for everything, come to the scene.

“You guys where you went? Holy shit–It’s pouring!” Nara squeals, but giggles as the cold rain hits her glowing and spotless skin.

Despite everyone probably feeling the sudden shift of the events, none of them make it awkward or question it. They’re pretty much relaxed, even though Gabriel seems to be still embarrassed and quieter than usual. 

“I think I’m calling it a night.”

“Oh, bummed about it but it looks like there’s gonna be a storm. So it’s best we get home.” Nara agrees, already pulling out her phone to call the cab. 

Jungkook bluntly ignores Gabriel’s presence, not even turning around to acknowledge his presence as he comes closer to you.

“Sorry for… you know… pushing myself onto you. I–”

“No–” you shake your head. “It’s fine. No need to apologize.”

Giving Jungkook a side look, you see him rolling his eyes as you roll your own. Grabbing Gabriel by his wrist, you pull him aside out of Jungkook’s earshot. 

“He’s protective over me. Don’t beat yourself over it.”

Gabriel briefly looks in Jungkook’s direction. “Kinda annoyed at him, but I wouldn’t wanna kiss someone that doesn’t want to kiss me. I got caught up in the moment, which does not excuse me at all–”

“Gabriel, it’s fine. It’s not–nothing happened.”

Apparently, Jungkook can be very protective. Even though, deep down you know you didn’t want the kiss and that’s why Jungkook stepped in. He knows you the best. 

“Yeah.” He sounds disappointed and relieved at the same time, smiling at you. 

“The cab’s here.” Nara informs.

You move without hesitance. 

Once you enter the beach house, there’s a complete silence between you two – no difference after the last conversation you’ve had. If it wasn’t for the talking Nara and Gabriel did, there would be a dead silence on your way here. 

The two of you were dropped off first and you bid goodbyes in case you never meet again. Their vacation is ending just as much as yours does. You don’t even have their numbers or social media. They’re just people you met on your stay here.

Who knows if Jungkook does. He seemed to be getting along with everyone. 

Inconveniently, you both go to the kitchen and get yourselves a can of soda. You stay standing, leaning against the kitchen counter as you check the time. Jungkook does the same but sits down and drums his fingers against the marble island. 

You put your phone on the table, taking a sip to avoid the crucial silence that waits to explode. Realizing the slight fear you so desperately want to avoid, you take a few unnecessary sips. It feels like no matter what any of you says, it will just cause a bigger storm that is outside. 

In the distance you hear the sky rumbling. Great, it seems like there’s a storm coming. 

Something vibrates on the marble surface. Your and Jungkook’s eyes follow the sound as you notice it’s Taehyung calling you. Clearing your throat, you set aside the can and turn off the vibration, while your phone stills flashes.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up, “You’re not getting that?”

“What do you want me to say to him? Tell him that this entire vacation has been awful?”

Jungkook’s brows frown and there’s a sadness crossing over his features over your blunt statement. 

“Other than the two days we actually had fun, of course.”

“I didn’t start it though,” Jungkook says, “We had this conversation before and it didn’t really go well.”

“I made a mistake.”

“Thank you.” he almost exclaims, proving his point. “You should change your clothes.”

By the time you got inside the cab, the rain was merciless to you and your clothes got super wet. Jungkook’s on it worse. Since he let you get inside the vehicle first, he got drenched and that’s the reason why he shrugged off the button-up and currently sits shirtless. 

You realize you just noticed. 

It’s the first time you properly looked at him since you’ve arrived.

“So do you,” you point out, “Or are you planning those droplets to just dry off?” 

There’s a hint of sarcasm aimed at the skin he’s currently showing. Of course, he doesn’t mind. He’s Jungkook. He could walk here totally nude and he would joke about it. 

He smiles. He freaking smiles and you give him a good roll of your eyes in return.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable to sit down with a wet ass anyway?”

“Are you pushing me away again?”

“That’s not–”

You sigh.

“That’s not it.”

“Isn’t it though?” Jungkook pushes, “That’s what you’ve been doing. Not me, Y/N.”

“I apologized for that. It wasn’t my decision to make, you made that clear and I understand.”

“But then you do what? Glue yourself to a guy who mostly just wants sex from you to prove what?”

Your jaw is close to hitting the floor. 

“Gabriel never hid his intentions. But you don’t know that of course, because you’re quick to judge him. Also, he has never really just wanted sex from me. He never pushed me to do anything and you made it sound as if that’s all I’m good for.”

“I would never even imply that because you know that’s not true! You’re more than that!”

“Then why are you even saying it?!” you exclaim, massaging your temples for a second.

“Fine, you wanted to have fun of your own. Doesn’t matter what your intentions were–”

“Suddenly we’re talking about my intentions?”

Jungkook takes a breath, “You’re not letting me talk.”

“I do! But you’re talking nonsense!”

“Nonsense?” Jungkook exclaims, standing up. “Or things you don’t want to hear?”

You stand, not moving an inch as you’re trying to process his words.

“You might think this is some ego stuff, but I can tell when you’re interested and when you’re not. Gabriel is just someone you’ve filled your free time with, to prove your own point.”

“Don’t you know it all?” you mock.

“I don’t, but I know you.”

“Oh, please–”

He chuckles, “Deny it all you want.”

“Gabriel is a nice guy, despite what you think. And you sound jealous.”

“I am.”

Everything stops for a moment.

“What?” you chuckle, a faint sign of nervosity. 

“We should’ve had all that fun. Not you and him. Not me and Nara. This was never supposed to be about them.”

You bite your inner cheek, his words hitting you in every bit. He’s right.

“I thought it would be a great opportunity to meet someone. Us–that would just block you.”

“And if I wanted that, I would’ve said something. And if you never want to have sex with me and want all of this to stop, you should’ve said so.”

“I thought this break we have going on is a great way to experience something new.”

“Did you want to experience it?”

“Well–I thought more of you–”

“Exactly.”

Mouth in a thin line, you poke your inner cheek. “You did seem to hit it off with her.”

“You did seem to hit it off with him.”

“Well, he’s a nice guy. I told you.”

“Yet, you don’t want him near you. Not in the way you’ve implied before.”

You don’t deny nor confirm. It’s pointless.

“And you? You said you don’t want to kiss Nara.” you say, straightening up as Jungkook nears you, interested in what you’re about to say. “Why?” 

The simple question sounds like a mere whisper, faded out by the rain hitting everything outside. 

“Because those are not the lips I wanna kiss.”

Ready to drop on your knees, you watch Jungkook’s eyes drop down to your lips and you strongly grip the counter behind you. Knuckles turning white, your eyes move on their own and follow Jungkook’s lips. 

“That sounds romantic.”

He shrugs, “I’ve always been kind of a romantic guy. Bear with me.”

There’s a flicker of lightness in his voice—a confession that feels more like a gentle reminder, because you’ve always known this about him. The corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly, subtle enough to miss, but you catch it. 

Before you even realize it, a soft giggle slips out—and suddenly, you’re both just looking at each other. No words pass between you, but in that silence, it hits you.

This is the first time you’ve genuinely laughed together since everything went downhill. Laughed. If that’s what you can call it.

Despite the genuine exchange of giggles and looks, there’s something lurking behind those big dark eyes. Without realizing, you have no idea there’s the same look in yours. It’s as if he’s daring you to react. To question something you both already know.

“Then tell me,” you feign obliviousness. “What lips are those you’re talking about.”

He lightly chuckles, the tip of his tongue gently wets his bottom lip. He cocks his head to the side, taunting you. “Guess.”

“I am supposed to guess now?”

“I could show you,” he hums, coming closer. “You wanna hint?”

“Try me.” you try not to swallow dryly as he grips the edge of the counter right next to your hands, caging you. 

“The lips that speak sometimes before they think.”

Biting down your lip, you prevent yourself from gasping in offence but it’s all written in your eyes. It makes Jungkook smile in triumph, but you continue in this game.

“No idea.”

“Hm,” he sucks in his bottom lip, feigning his deep thinking. “I guess I should show you instead.”

“You want to?” you ask, voice barely steady, trying not to sound like you need the answer too much.

“I’m dying to.” 

He’s so close. His warm breath tickles your face, and every part of you is strung tight—caught between the urge to close the space and the fear of what it might mean if you do.

Your hands twitch where they rest on the counter, so close to his, but not quite touching. 

“Well,” you breathe out already breathlessly, “We wouldn’t want you to die.”

“Is that your way of giving me permission?” he cocks his brow at you, finding your response nothing but amusing.

Your mouth is one step ahead and before you can think thoroughly about what your next words will be, they already leave past your lips–proving Jungkook’s previous words right. 

“You never stopped having one.”

In other scenarios, perhaps you would cringe at the raw honesty in that one statement. Sounding too real, romantic and even maybe a little needy. Not at the moment though. Now it’s your turn to give a reminder because that’s exactly what it is. 

It’s not about never wanting to—it’s about the constant battle of trying not to.

“It’s that easy, huh?”

His nose is so close. The familiarity of it on its way to bump yours is right there, yet he’s just inches from it. Holding himself back and driving you to insanity. 

Finding some voice left, you whisper; “Nothing is easy when it comes to us.”

It’s the painful reality, one you’re running from because there were days when a statement like this would be pure lies. Nothing else.

All of this is pushed aside. All of this is forgotten as Jungkook’s lips touch the apple of your cheek. So faint that you wonder if he even touched you or it’s all in your head. Eyes closing automatically, you slowly pry them open, knuckles turning white from how hard you’re gripping the counter.

“Seems easy to me.”

You gulp, “Then why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“You want me to kiss you?” he questions deeply, clearly taunting you, playing with you.

He plays this game well. You will give him that.

“You said you know when a woman wants it,” you breathe out. “You said you know me inside and out.”

He smiles. He freaking smiles.

“You got me there.”

Just be done with it, you think. But the thought of not getting what you want at the moment consumes you. It feels like–if it’s just this time, so be it. You earn for him. The tension between you is insufferable. He’s right here. On the tip of your fingers, on a golden plate.

a/n: had to split this chapter into two parts (not happy about it but what can i do) please give some love to both parts and read my a/n in the second part that's posted! <3

PART 2

If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡

The tip of your fingers raise up as they hover over his chest. You can feel the warmth coming off his body, calling your shivering self. Goosebumps appear all over your body and you decide to take the heat right here.

The moment your fingers touch Jungkook’s hard chest, it becomes all too real. The warmth, thumps of his heartbeat and the way his chest raises up and down. He’s attentively watching you, wondering what your next step is.

Moving your fingers up, gliding over his damped skin as the droplets fade and sink into the warmth of his tanned complexion. They pause at the line of his neck, where a vein pulses faintly beneath your touch—steady and alive. Your hand slips around to cradle the side of his neck, fingers weaving into his hair you reach as you tighten the grip on it.

Suddenly everything goes still. Breath held and eyes locked, you both move at once as instinct overrides hesitation. Mouths clashing together, you have to convince yourself for a split second that this is happening. The familiarity of his mouth brings you comfort, yet shoots excitement through your entire body as it molds into your lips effortlessly. 

You wonder how you’ve managed to not knock each other’s teeth out. Your body is pressed against Jungkook’s, wet clothes sticking to him as well now. He grips the back of your head, holding you in place as you’re desperate for more.

One minute he’s gripping your hair, bringing a tight pressure to your roots–and suddenly his hands are on your hips, hoisting you up. The impact of your ass hitting the counter makes you groan, though it’s muffled by Jungkook’s mouth. 

Your tongues meet, messy and breathlessly–both of you barely catching any breath but you keep going. Almost as if you’re both scared that if you stop, all of this stops with it. 

You won’t allow that. 

He hoists you up, your mouths glued together as he guides you through the beach house as if he remembers every corner perfectly. Perhaps he does. What he surely does remember is every inch of your body. 

His arms stay securely wrapped around your thighs, holding you up the entire way to the bathroom. Settling you down, you hold onto his biceps tightly to prevent yourself from falling. Your legs feel like jelly, looking for balance that takes a moment.

Jungkook holds your waist until you chuckle lightly, wiping the corner of your lips. They tickle from the intense make-out you’ve just experienced. Watching him back away with a satisfied smirk, he licks his own lips as he tucks thumbs under his waistband. You eat up the sight with hungry eyes, not ashamed to enjoy the sight that gives him enough of a green light–daring him to continue.

He does. 

Even though the clothes stick to his body, as if refusing to give up, he does it effortlessly and the clothes glide down to his ankles. It gathers there and he steps outside it, moving it aside. But that detail is long forgotten as you shamelessly eye his exposed length. 

He’s hard. Something you’ve felt on your way here–but seeing it in person after some time, you’re close to dropping down your knees. 

“Your turn.”

You find his eyes, mirroring just as much hunger as your own eyes have. 

The dress you have on lacks any zipper, which makes it harder to take off especially in its current drenched state. “You might have to help me.”

“Thought you would give me a show.”

“Perhaps next time.”

Now you’re just teasing–both of you rather focusing on the present than worrying about what happens next. You’re not supposed to do this right now. 

He walks up to you in just two steps, careful and slow steps, causing your head to tilt up. He doesn’t kiss you. He doesn’t even touch your face and judging by the light smugness, he’s doing it purposely. Instead, his hands remove the straps, letting them drop down your shoulders. Tugging where the edge covers your chest, he tugs it down. It’s not going as smoothly and for a moment, you giggle as he wiggles your body ever so slightly. 

A soft chuckle rumbles but all amusement fades as he drops onto his one knee, tugging the dress down your breasts and waist. Exposing your perked up nipples, begging for attention–the dress pool down at your feet. 

Suddenly he stands up, eyes dropping down your figure as he wipes his bottom lip with his thumb. “God, I’ve missed this sight.”

That pleases you very much. Finding more boldness in you, you trail finger down his abs. “You know what I missed?”

Before he answers, you drop down to your knees–living for his speechless and admiring state. It boosts up your confidence even more, not in submission but in power. The kind of power that comes from knowing exactly what effect you have. 

Your confidence isn’t loud or forced. It’s not proving anything. It’s simply there—in your posture, in your gaze, in the easiness of your movements. You know you're seen. You meant to be seen.

“Fuck.” Jungkook mutters, closing his eyes and you take it as an opportunity to wrap your hand around his cock.

Giving him a few teasing pumps, you hear him silently curse under his breath. 

“You’re a fucking tease.”

Not answering, deciding to show him in actions rather than words, you welcome him in your mouth. That makes him pry his eyes open, no matter how much they beg to stay closed and bask in the ecstasy you bring him. Familiary and knowingly, he grips your hair at the back of your head and tries his best not to fuck your mouth. 

Tears spring in your eyes as he’s getting too deep in your throat. Your knees start to burn as they rub against the tiles, but it’s pushed aside as you feed off his reactions. Vulnerable, raw and beautiful. 

“Fuck, ba–” he stops himself and you swear your heartbeats skips a beat. “Okay, stand up.” 

You stare, frowning a little because that’s not what you were planning. He begs you with his eyes. “I’m not gonna cum so quickly.”

“You would?” you feign surprise, even though it does surprise you a little. Teasingly, you fumble with your fingers as you give him an innocent look.

He purses his lips, “It’s been a while.”

It has been for you too. 

“Don’t look so shocked.”

“Do I?” you question, not moving an inch as he closes the proximity and presses his thumb on your nipple. 

You bite down your lip, quicking your breaths. 

“You had orgasms, didn't you?”

He shakes his head with a smile, “My hand doesn’t do its job. Not like you do anyway.”

“Jungkook.” you whisper at the confession, growing weaker each second and every time he confesses such things. 

He’s always been doing a perfect job at that. Most men would be embarrassed, seeing it as a potential weakness. They’re the men right? Women crumble beneath their feet. They’re the weakness. Not women.

It’s not like that with Jungkook. 

He’s not doing it from pure horniness. He’s honest and unafraid to say it–even show it. 

One second his hand plays with your nipple, the second it’s between your legs and cursing once he feels the wetness coating his fingers. 

“Just–”

“Hm?”

“–just fuck me.” you almost beg, not caring how desperate you sound. 

He listens. He connects your lips and backs you into the big shower. He turns the tap and cold water coats your bodies as you shriek in shock. 

“Jeon!”

He laughs, “Sorry. Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

He backs you to the wall, eyeing you like a prey. 

“Jeon?” you ask, “Pretty sure you’ve heard it recently.”

“Not in this way anyway.”

“What way?”

“Playful. Seductive.”

“Seductive?” you giggle.

“Yeah,” he nods, hand finding its way back between your lips. You bite onto them harshly, moaning. “Though I prefer Kook.”

“How about Kookie?” you manage to get out through moans as he slips finger inside your walls. 

He grips your neck, gently but his touch is there. “Don’t mess with me.”

Shaking his head, he does so as if he wants to remove everything that involves the one nickname you’ve never called him. It’s so fun to tease him, especially in this position. He hoists up your thigh over his hip, holding it there harshly as he adds another finger. 

“Fuck–I’m not–” You don’t even get to finish sentence, totally crumbling under his touch. He kisses your cheek bone, nibbling on your earlobe next and before you realize, you’re coming undone in seconds. 

Hand wrapping around his wrist as he slows down his pace, you breathe and open your eyes, realizing the water is lukewarm and no longer cold. Wrapping your arm around his neck, you bring him closer and kiss him. 

“Now fuck me.”

“You sure?”

“Did you bring me in here and get naked just for this?”

He laughs, “Just for this? Ouch. You came in under a minute.”

You gasp, “It was more than a minute.”

He shakes his head teasingly, not saying anything about it. “It’s fine. I would’ve too.” 

And you know he’s not talking about being in your position, boosting his ego. He’s talking to you on your knees and sucking him off. 

“Now turn around and let me fuck you.”

You obey without any complaints, gasping as he holds your hips and pushes you to him. Your palms slide down the tiles and try to hold your balance there. You can feel his cock against your ass cheeks, hovering there and twitching at the contact of your skin.

“Listen–” he starts, “I don’t have–”

You turn around, eyes barely opened as your walls clench around nothing, wetness sliding down your thighs. His eyes meet yours as they slowly move down between your bodies. Realizing he’s talking about the lack of protection, you’re not sure if you’re touched that he hasn’t brought any of those–for whatever reasons–or bothered that he even mentioned it and you didn’t even think of it.

“Fuck me, Jungkook.”

Both of you know what this means. You’re consumed by the lust and excitement, not wanting to waste another second. Somewhere outside, you can hear rain pouring even through the droplets hitting your bodies and shower tiles.

No words exchanged, just the touch on your hips that is reassuring that he’s right there and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. It’s a faint touch, almost unnoticeable, but you feel it clearly as his thumbs give your skin a soft caress. 

That’s all you feel before he slowly starts entering you. Both of you curse, stopping any movements to catch a breath. 

“You good?”

“Yeah, just go slow.” you assure him, breathing out as you could cry from feeling him like this again. You never thought it would happen, not any time soon anyway, even though deep inside you’ve always hoped for it. 

He moves deeper and slow just like you asked, filling you up to the brim as you feel a deep groan behind you. Your muscles relax, begging for more and with no words needed, he pulls out and thrusts in. Each time quicker and more deep, using your moans as his personal guide.

The slap of skin meeting echoes in the bathroom, your moans joining in as his grunts and touch become heaven to your senses. Bodies colliding, he reaches for your breast and plays with it, grasping it tightly as he gives your ass a loud wet slap. 

“Fuck–you’re perfect.”

You want to tell him to shut up. Purely because it’s enough to make you come and you beg mentally. Please let this last longer. It can’t be forever but just a little bit longer. A little bit more. 

Your mind goes pathetic over him.

He fucks you hard, each movements becoming more erratic and passionate–causing you to hold yourself against the tiles with hands spread, preventing your head from smashing agaisnt the wet tiles. Your breasts move with each thrust, feeling his fingers digging into the skin of your ass and hips, wondering if it's going to bruise later. 

It doesn’t hurt in a bad way. It brings you closer to the edge if anything. 

“I’m gonna–” He groans, not being able to finish as he’s too close to reaching his high. Instead, he kisses down your neck and gently bites the skin there.

“Come inside.” 

“W–what,” he stutters, wondering if he’s heard you right.

If you’ve wanted to try this, now is the right time. He’s the right person to do it with. Or perhaps your mind is clouded with lust, not really thinking of your actions. But you don’t care. You need him. You need to feel all of him. 

And if this happens only once–let this be the time.

“Come inside, Kook.”

“Fuck–” 

You barely get to finish your sentence, hearing him curse and go absolutely feral makes your mind blank. It’s ridiculous how out of your body you suddenly feel. It’s like a dream–maybe it’s the lack of sex in your life lately, you desperately tell yourself.

Or it’s just the fact you completely gave yourself to him. It’s just sex. But another world to you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Somewhere in this time, you blabber something out of your mouth, not even sure what you’re saying–your mind completely fucked. You turn your head to the side as you feel Jungkook's mouth on your shoulder, biting you everywhere he has access. As your mouth gets closer, both of your mouths clash together–barely even kissing but making most of it.

Your body tenses and relaxes right after, surrendering yourself to the man behind you as you orgasm all over his cock. Wetness shoots out of you and you shiver, legs growing weak as you suddenly feel warmth exploding inside you. It makes your walls clench repeatedly as Jungkook continues thrusting, filling you to the brim. Mouths just there, not being able to comprehend the rush of lust, unmoving and breathing moans into each other’s mouth. 

He stays there for a second, wrapping his hand around your waist to balance you. He gives your lips a gentle kiss. “I’m gonna pull out, yeah?”

All you can do is nod, a noticeable pulse between your legs. He pulls out gently, kissing your shoulder as he hisses silently at the feeling. You feel wetness pouring out of you, washed by the water as some of it glides down your thighs.

Turning around, Jungkook helps you as your back meets the wall. Both of your eyes’ are barely opened, still bathing in the ecstasy the orgasm has brought. He comes closer, pressing your bodies together as you naturally hug him closer.

“That’s the best sex I ever had,” he confesses.

“Same.” you agree right away, breathlessly, trying to wrap your head around what just happened.

Jungkook steps back, just a little, enough to reach the shower gel he squirts on his palm. Putting away the bottle, he warms the gel between his hands before gently massaging your shoulders. As he spreads the fresh-scented liquid across your skin, you sigh, your body melting beneath his touch.

“I can’t believe we did that,” you whisper, voice barely heard over the sounds of water.

“Regrets already brooming?” he jokes, voice raspy and deep.

You shake your head, closing your eyes for a moment as he works on your muscles, moving down your arms.

“This is one of the few things I won’t ever regret.”

That catches him by surprise—just enough for his eyebrows to lift before they relax, and he looks... relieved.

“I feel the same.” he says, motioning you to turn around. 

You do, not arguing as he massages your back. God, you’re going to fall asleep as soon as your body meets the mattress. 

“I’m starting to understand how most men insist on having… raw sex.”

Jungkook chuckles softly behind you, clearly finding your shyness—and your reluctance to say it—amusing. “So–what do you think about it?”

Your cheeks heat up, acting as if you didn’t just experience it on your own moments ago. “I–I love it.”

Jungkook reaches out, softly cupping your breasts. Your back straightens, breath catching in your throat as his name slips past your lips.

“You can scratch it off your list.”

Your eyes open at that, a playful chuckle escaping your lips. “You remember?”

“I do.”

“The deal is off.” you remind him, as if it’s supposed to mean something. 

“I like to make dreams come through.” 

Something softens inside you. Is it ridiculous to think he’s being thoughtful? Especially when it comes to this topic? His answer is supposed to come out jokingly, yet they hold some truth to it. And you wouldn’t want this to happen with anyone else at the moment. You’re glad it’s him. 

And despite everything–your fears, doubts and who knows what else–you don’t think you will ever regret this decision. 

God. There’s so much happening inside you—like your body’s being electrified from within, in the most incredible way. If you could, you’d let it happen again. And again. And again.

That scares you. But you don’t let that thought hover over your head for too long. 

He moves down your stomach–his touch smooth as silk–there’s nothing sexual about it but you’re fighting back the urge to push him just to have sex again.

Silence follows, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company as Jungkook pampers you. Once he’s done, he gently guides you right after the big square shower head as the water streams washes off the remaining foam.

Your eyes meet, a silent connection between you makes you both smile. As Jungkook goes to reach for the shower gel, you’re faster. You copy his actions from before as his mouth parts in silent surprise. 

“You–”

“It’s only fair I take care of you too.”

He chuckles as his eyes drift downward. You realize you’re witnessing him being shy—which doesn’t happen often—and the sudden realization makes you smirk.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Uh-uh.” You shake your head, spreading the gel across his chest, feeling all the muscles flex beneath your soft touch. “I like to repay.”

“You can barely stand on your feet,” he comments, prompting you to smack his chest. He laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.

Somehow, with wet raven-black hair and flexing muscles, he manages to look both hot and cute with that toothy grin.

“Thanks to who?”

Now he’s the one who smirks. “I’m not complaining about that.”

“You cocky bastard.”

As your laughter naturally and softly dies down, you move down toward his lower abs where his V line is, wondering if you just should–

“Don’t.”

“Huh?” You’ve been caught. How does he know what you’re thinking of?

“I don’t think you’re ready for a second round.”

You grin, “Is that a challenge?”

“We do have a plan tomorrow,” he reminds, “Besides. Wasn’t this supposed to be a one time thing?”

He’s straight–forward. But you should’ve learned that a long time ago. It’s not a matter of lately, maybe a while after your deal started, but Jungkook has been going straight to the point. 

You gulp, shamelessly admitting; “I could make an exception.”

He smiles, reaching toward your cheek as his thumb rubs your cheek bone. “Tell me tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?”

“When your mind is not clouded by the first experience of raw sex.” 

You poke him in the ribs, causing him to flinch as he laughs. “I’m serious.”

“You think I don’t think straight?” you challenge him with a raise of your brow.

“Y/N, the first time I went raw I thought I could go like that until sunrise.”

“Did you?”

You’re not sure if you want to hear about his previous sex life. Is it fit to be discussed in this position? 

“I mean–were you able to…”

He smiles, “Guess.”

You gulp, not sure if the steam comes from the water or from you. 

He finishes your previous task while you shampoo your hair, not caring that you should’ve done it beforehand. It’s not your fault things turned into the best sex of your life.

Still, you can’t help sneaking glances—because, for some reason, Jungkook doesn’t pull you into bed to go another round.

So, rather than just standing there like an idiot waiting for him to wash himself, you turn around and busy yourself.

Out of sight, out of mind… right?

Once you’re both done, Jungkook helps you out of the shower. You’ve clearly underestimated yourself—because the moment you try to take a step, your legs feel like jelly. You can move, but the aftermath of what just happened still lingers.

He wraps a towel around your warm body, steam rising from your skin as if you'd just been extinguished. Both of you start to dry yourselves off and once you’re done, Jungkook hangs towels on a rack, gently taking it from you.

Your eyes start to drop as you make your way to the bathroom, too lazy and sleepy to dress yourself. “Will you mind if I don’t wear pajamas?” 

Jungkook drops beside you on his front, hugging a pillow. “Are you trying to kill me?”

You sleepily laugh, “No?”

“Alright, I will keep my hands to myself.”

I never said you should, you think, but the smile you make says it all. Pulling up the covers, you make yourself comfortable. Within a minute, Jungkook’s comforting scent and slow breathing lull you to sleep.

Your arms brush gently as you both settle close, the warmth of his forearm resting lightly against yours. Neither of you reach for hands, but the quiet contact speaks volumes. Safe and warm–you drift deeper, wrapped in the silence between breaths.

Beach waves come up as your consciousness rises awake, heard in the distance of your opened double wing door. As someone who doesn’t believe in air conditioning turned on while sleeping, you asked Jungkook to open the door instead.

By the time you came out of the shower, the only trace of rain was the fresh air and wet sand you saw out of the window. 

The air is slightly more fresh and a faint breeze brushes past your exposed shoulder. Although, the sun shining through the glass and thin curtains warms your skin. 

Cracking your eyes open, you’re met with bright sun which causes you to squint at the clock beside your bed. 

Fuck! It’s almost eleven. 

One thing's for sure. Your sleep felt like heaven and you not even once woke up during the night. 

“Tell me it’s at least eight.” Jungkook’s groggy and raspy voice resounds from beside you, sheets rustling under his body moving. 

“Hate to disappoint. Close to eleven.”

“Fuck.” he groans. “I could sleep for days.”

You laugh, “Same. Shame we have to leave tomorrow.”

“Mhm,” he hums, coming closer as he presses a soft kiss onto your shoulder. You shudder, smiling immediately and hoping Jungkook can’t see it, so he could brag about it later.

“Jungkook.” you warn him.

“I’m a good boy.”

His actions say the opposite as he presses another kiss. And then another. And another. 

Turning on your back, you push his head away gently and laugh at his pout. “Are you hard or what?”

“I’m getting there.”

And when you least expect it, you feel the pad of his fingers touch your thigh ever so gently. 

He comes closer, lips brushing over your ear. “Are you wet?”

“Maybe,” you whisper, “I’m tired though.” Tired for sex is what you mean.

One movement and Jungkook pulls you closer, your back now facing his chest as you feel his hand between your legs. You might be tired but your legs open on their own, welcoming him there as he chuckles in satisfaction and slightly in a cocky manner. 

“So am I.”

He enters you with his fingers, a soft moan leaving your mouth. No other words exchanged, you grab his wrist after a moment. Jungkook grabs your inner thigh and raises it, entering you gently and slowly. 

Moans fill up the bedroom as he keeps his pace slow, hitting all the right spots in the softest yet meaningful way. The two of you don’t hold for a long time and the pace quickens up with time and each thrust. Moans get louder and breathing harder.

Your hand goes into Jungkook’s hair and you grip it tightly as he kisses your neck, both of you reaching for the high. You come first, just in the right time for Jungkook to pull out and come all over between your legs. 

“Fuck.” he says, breathing into your neck as he kisses you there.

“Mhm, that was good.”

Jungkook stays laying behind you, your hand caging his arm as you hold him. Without any other words, the two of you sleep into another slumber.

It’s way past lunch time, yet here you are.

Jungkook shirtless, freshly out of the shower, making the two of you cereal bowls. The sun casts a golden glow over the kitchen and Jungkook’s skin, reminding you of the beautiful weather outside. 

In other cases, you would say it’s a shame since half of the day is gone. But in this case, you don’t care at all. 

You don’t want to think. You purposely block your thoughts, not allowing them to cloud your mind even if it’s just for a moment. This peaceful vibe should last as long as possible. 

The center of your attention is a man, you don’t want to fight with or discuss things that have been discussed already. He moves with ease around the kitchen, as if it’s his own home and you realize, you barely had a chance to experience the calmness of a morning. 

The first days you tried to experience as much of Hawaii, there was not a place for calmness and then after what happened, you both went kind of separate ways of exploring this incredible island. 

He turns around with a ceramic white bowl, catching your gaze as he cracks a soft smile. Your mouth waters at the sight of the first meal of the day. It’s your fault though. You’ve been ignoring your rumbling stomach and prioritize more minutes under the sheets. Besides different stuff.

“How about we stayed a little longer?” 

He gently pushes the bowl in your direction, swiftly turning around and grabbing his own. Palm covering the entire bottom of the bowl, Jungkook starts eating while standing as he chuckles at your surprised look of bewilderment. 

“W–How?”

Jungkook’s jaw hardens as he munches on the cereal, shrugging lightly as if his simple suggestion is exactly that… simple. 

“I’ll call the resort and see if we can stay longer.”

“But what about our flight?”

“We won’t go. I’ll book a different flight.”

You stare, brow raised at the simplicity of it all. But from your point of view, it’s anything but simple. 

“What about the money?” you state the obvious, “It will just be out of the window–just like that.”

Jungkook continues eating, his head pointing toward your very late breakfast, urging you to eat. Hesitantly, you grab a spoon and start eating. 

“I will pay for it.”

“No!” you protest with a full mouth. “Are you crazy?”

“Guess I am,” he grins, “Look. I do think we should stay longer and honestly, I don’t care about the extra money.”

“But I do and I won’t let you pay for my tickets. You’ve already paid enough and you know how much I hate it.”

“Don’t you wanna stay longer?”

You chuckle in disbelief, “Of course, I do. Who wouldn’t?”

“See?”

“Kook–it’s not all that this is about.” 

He smiles.

“Why are you smiling?”

“You called me Kook again.”

You roll your eyes, laughing at the soft sparkles in his eyes that show enthusiasm. “So?”

“I’ve missed it,” he admits and your heart softens. “We came here to relax, have fun… I admit, things have turned out differently than we both wanted when we first came here–but I don’t care about that right now. We still have a few things to do and after all, I want us to remember this vacation as something nice to remember and look back,”

You understand. You do. But you can’t let him just pay for everything and you’re not in a position where you can afford to extend your stay. Out of the friends, he has always been the most responsible with his money which can’t be said about Jimin or Taehyung. 

Jungkook’s reasoning is not silly and you fully understand it. Just the circumstances are a little–inconvenient. 

“Because currently, there are only a few moments I would like to look back on once we’re home.”

Moving your gaze toward the milk, you move your spoon around in it and purse your lips. You just can’t look at those puppy brown eyes that watch you intensively. 

“I might’ve sent an email to the owner, asking if we could stay longer so–”

“Jungkook!” you exclaim in disbelief, almost laughing at the cheeky flush of his cheeks. “When did you have the time to do that?”

Memories of yesterday flash through your mind and you sheepishly smile under your nose, quickly looking at your uneaten breakfast. 

“When you fell asleep. I just knew we should stay longer.” 

He moves closer to you, putting away the empty bowl.

“U-huh.”

“What,” Jungkook laughs but not stopping himself and at your failed attempt to stop him. 

“Don’t come closer.”

“What are you scared of?”

“You,” you point out clearly. “Your attempts to convince me always work–you know I can’t–”

“Resist my charms?”

“I was gonna say can’t say no, but whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He stands behind you now, a deep chuckle resounding from behind you. “We both know what helps.” he whispers.

“Jungkook,” you scold him under your breath.

“Hm?”

“Stop it.”

He laughs, moving away. “I suggest taking a rest today. We could have a swim or go for a walk. And if we stayed longer–see? I’m still letting you decide–we could go to the restaurant that has the best seafood. You once said you wanna try everything they possibly have. I’ve still got some fun things for us to do. If you’re interested in hearing them, I will tell you.”

“You’re annoying.” you grumble. 

“One of my charms as well.”

“That’s one of Taehyung’s–actually I have a few people on my mind.”

“See? So I’m not that annoying after all.”

You bite your lip, watching him go back to his place. 

“I’m scared we will fight again.”

Jungkook’s features soften. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gives you an apologetic smile. “We will do everything in our power not to. No pushing anyone else onto ourselves.”

“Noted.” you nod, embarrassingly from your past mistakes that are still not in the past. 

“So what are you saying? We have a deal?”

You chuckle, “I think we should not make deals anymore. Look at us.”

“Freshly fucked, glowing from the incredible sex? I am looking and I’m loving it.”

Grabbing the used napkin scrunched into a ball, you throw it at his. He catches it, laughing. “So?”

“I will find a way to pay you back.”

He just smiles, refusing you to do so but he doesn’t say otherwise. You both know how this goes. Jungkook can be persistent but also very stubborn. And you hope the only fight that’s possibly waiting for you around the corner, is this. You want to pay him and him declining your every attempt.

“Now eat.” he ushers you, “Your cereal will get soggy and we know you don’t like it.”

“You know what I don’t like?”

“You will tell me all about it but I have to make a call–so now excuse me. Don’t miss me too much, I will be just in the other room. And don’t forget–pool or a walk. Whatever you pick. We have a little bit more time.”

He cheerfully walks away while saying it, waving at you from behind as you watch him with the biggest smile. Laughing under your breath, you start eating. Your mouth turns downwards at the sogginess of your breakfast, but you dig into it right away.

Jungkook has managed to successfully extend your stay. You’re yet to inform your friends about it, knowing they’ll ask unnecessary questions. Jimin is supposed to pick you up, so you’ll have to let him know eventually and soon enough. 

The morning had to be the best morning you’ve experienced in a while. Just the thought of it makes your cheeks warm. There’s a lingering wooden scent of Jungkook lingering on your skin, even after the shower you’ve taken. Must be your hair that you haven’t bothered to wash. 

It’s like he imprints himself in your skin every time something like this happens.

And here’s that word. Every time.

You’ve tried so much to put a pause on this, too afraid to lose the remains of friendship the two of you have. Is this a real friendship? Jungkook is still the same man you’ve known for years now. But the memories and paths you’ve both taken are completely different. 

No. No. No. No.

Don’t overthink it. Don’t name it.

Just live in the present and you will deal with it later. 

After the late breakfast, you’ve taken a walk along the beach. Bare feet and tangled hair with the breeze cooling down your warm skin. You’ve talked about a bunch of random things. 

You like that. 

You’ve missed that.

You just roamed around the Island, its street and it made you feel light. You’ve bounced right back where you were, pushing all the stupid arguments you’ve managed to have here in the back of your head. That goes for all of you. 

Yet it doesn’t feel staged or you’re trying to get better purposely. It feels natural. Like everything has been sort of wiped away by the gentle touch and kisses you’ve shared. 

Jungkook has made a plan to take you to dinner. You’ve gushed about wanting to try more seafood even before you’ve boarded the plane. He remembered. 

His thoughtfulness and kindness makes you want to rip your hair off for your past intentions. It was a bad decision that was supposed to be a good one. 

Putting down the compact mirror you’ve brought outside to do your make-up, you wipe off the remains of your red lipstick on your point finger. You like to dab it in to make it look more blended out. 

Glancing back through the open slide door, you find Jungkook laughing at his phone. His features crinkle in an unguarded and sincere way you’ve grown so used to. 

Is it something he’s watching?

And then you hear a faint voice of his, inaudible for you to hear what he's saying and for a quick moment, you think of someone who has made him laugh. That thought of her alone makes your stomach squeeze and hundreds of thoughts start to race in your mind.

Shutting them down, you grab your make-up bag and toss the mirror inside it. 

“Right–thanks. Bye!” Jungkook waves at the phone and before you can make out who it was, the call’s over.

And then there are those thoughts again. Before you let them in once again, you simply just ask. 

“Who was it?”

Jungkook looks up, noticing your presence and he’s quite out of words. He stares, eyes dancing across your face before they take your entire figure in – slowly and deliberately, like he’s seeing you for the first time after a long absence. 

His mouth parts slightly, as if to say your name, but no sound comes out. He just watches you, and for a second, the background noise of waves fades into silence. 

“You look–” he stops, “Wow.”

A rush of heat blooms the apple of your cheeks and your gaze falls down your figure. “It’s–nothing.”

Both of you know that’s a lie. 

You’ve opted for a tight dress with a little gathering around the waist. It has a creme yellowish color, great for Hawaii vibes. 

Jungkook shakes himself out of daze to stand up. Tossing the phone back on the couch like it’s the least interesting thing on the planet, like he hasn’t had his eyes glued to it just a minute ago.

He comes closer and your stomach clenches, knowing that whenever he’s this close you’re a fucking mess. 

“I’m starting to get scared every time you get close.” It’s supposed to come out as a joke, a faint chuckle leaving your lips but it sounds nothing like it. It’s a confession said in a light almost scandalized tone.

“Why?” he chuckles, “Am I that irresistible?”

That cracks a laugh on your lips, gently nudging his chest. But he catches you by your wrist, leaving them against his chest as you feel his heartbeat underneath the layer of cotton. It’s rhythmic, calm and nothing like yours. 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

He smiles, eyes not leaving yours.

“It’s just–you’re dangerous.”

Every time he is close or touches you ever so gently, you crumble. You yearn for his touch, proximity and warmth. He brings you comfort. Disguised as a forgery of silent hopes, pretending it’s just something you’re used to. 

And the look he’s got in his eyes, you’re aware he knows exactly what you mean. He is dangerous. The two of you together are dangerous. 

“You look beautiful.”

You fight it, but the smile stretches on your lips and you have to look sideways, to laugh it off. Amusement spreads across his face and own lips, as he waits for you to look back at him. 

“I rarely see you getting shy.”

“Shut up.” you silence him, this time properly nudging him to play it off cool. He laughs and lets you.

“What kind of compliments have you heard these past few days?” he jokes, causing you to frown at him. “You’re acting as if you never heard one compliment in your life.”

“Yah!” you scold him, trying to fight back a smile. It’s just his face and the fact he’s absolutely having the time of his life to make fun of you. His eyes scrunch at the ends, smile wide and nose scrunched as he laughs.

“I’ve heard lots of compliments.”

“Why are you acting like you haven’t then?”

And you know the answer to that immediately. It’s not what the person says. It’s who the person is. 

“Because they never made me feel like this.”

The confession takes him by surprise, but soon enough is replaced by the smug smile.

“Oh, don’t look so smug!”

“I knew it.” he says triumphally.

“Knew what?”

“You just didn’t vibe with him.”

“Yeah, yeah.” you wave him off, brushing past him to avoid any further mention of Gabriel.

He’s a nice guy and surely, you’ve appreciated his compliments. It’s just that they never quite landed the way they were meant to. Or maybe your mind and everything else is tainted by Jungkook.

“Are you going in a t-shirt?” You change the subject, noticing his choice of clothing he’s had since you came back. Home clothes. 

He glances down, eyebrows drawn in a mix of horror and amusement at the ridiculous thought of showing up to dinner wearing this.

“No. I called the guys, and told them about us staying a little longer.”

Your ears perk up at that, “What did they say?”

“You mean were they questioning the sudden change? Of course. Just told them we weren’t able to see everything we wanted.”

“Wasn’t Taehyung–I don’t know–suspicious?”

“He was teasing as usual. Why?”

You shrug, scratching your forearm in a subtle way. “I sort of told him we were–having a hard time?” you sheepishly admit, “I just told him that I made a mistake.”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, visibly sensing your sheepishness and uncertainty stirred by the details you shared with Taehyung.

“And we’re past it, yeah?” he assures you, smiling in the process. 

Nodding in confirmation, he puts a gentle hand over your shoulder, squeezing it. “Then don’t worry about it.”

“What I meant to say before, is that no, I am not wearing this.” he laughs, “We got caught up in a talk. Jimin is at Taehyung’s right now, you know how it is with them. Especially when Taehyung starts talking.”

You laugh, “Yeah. Go change or we’re gonna be late!”

“Yes, ma’m.” he salutes. 

Laughing in disbelief, you watch him disappear behind the bedroom’s door. In the meantime, you prepare your heels for the night and browse through your phone. Jungkook finishes getting ready in a few minutes, clasping his watch on his wrist as he joins you in the main room.

It amazes you how men are able to get ready quickly. You’re not someone who takes an eternity to get ready, but men are on a quick mission here.

He looks effortlessly amazing—he even managed to slick some gel into his hair to sweep it off his forehead. He’s dressed in a crisp, lightweight linen shirt—its creme white fabric contrasts with his tanned complexion. The top buttons of his shirt are casually undone, revealing more of his skin. 

He catches your gaze, raising a curious brow. 

Before he can ask, a smirk decorates your lips as your voice is intertwined with amused romance. “You look beautiful.”

He catches onto the joke, you repeating his previous words and the conversation he teased you so much about. He scrunches his nose, yet a playful smile warms up his face as he shakes his head at you.

“What? Too girly?” you tease.

“I’m not sure if any man wants to be called beautiful.”

“How would you want to be called?”

“Try more masculine compliments.”

“Such as? Handsome?”

He laughs, “Yeah, that could work.”

“Or–fucking hot?” 

His eyes light up, clearly savoring that one more for sure.

“Irresistably hot?”

“Keep them coming and we won’t make it to dinner.”

You almost choke up, giggling as he reaches for the leather loafers. They’re black, sleek but breathable for the warm evening.

“Is this how much it takes to wind you up?”

“No. It’s those eyes you’re giving me.”

What eyes, you want to ask. However that would be pointless, because you both know exactly what eyes he means. Even though you thought you were being more subtle about it, it turns out he reads you effortlessly and despite so much happening in the past few days, everything seems to be just the same. 

“What. We are coming here?” Despair laced in your voice, you screech in horror once you spot the familiar place you’ve visited just yesterday. 

You fidget with the car’s door handle nervously, not really convinced to eat here out of all restaurants. Jungkook is faster than you, opening the car’s door for you like the true gentleman he was raised to be. 

“Why here?” You can’t help but ask. 

He remains calm, undoubtedly has heard you now and before. He shuts the door just as gently, your question hanging in the air for a moment. “I was meant to take you here before.”

“Oh,” Your eyes widen at the new information. “You were?”

He sighs, almost as if he’s not very pleased to share further details. “I reserved it for us.”

It brings bitter memories and you realize that’s why. The ‘us’ holds a meaning and your mind goes spiral, before you settle on a possibility that could be true. 

“When?” you ask. It’s simply questioned but there’s an urgency that wants you to prove you’re right.

Even Jungkook looks at you with that look that says ‘You’ve figured it out’.

“Yesterday.”

The night he took Nara instead. That was for you? You were supposed to be at that table?

For a short while, your eyes close gently in disappointment of how everything has turned out to be worse. The night he planned for you in advance for you just to blow it. You both ended up going with different people.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he chuckles gently. 

“For how it turned out.”

His eyes soften, diving into that expression of despair and regret. 

“Well, don’t be.” he says simply, causing you to mockingly chuckle. 

If it was that easy. 

It’s not like you blame yourself for everything. Both of you acted stupid and things escalated. You might’ve started it but you’re both to be held accountable. 

“Besides, I reserved a table again to make better memories here.”

“Better memories?” you question with doubts laced in your voice. He gives you a questioning look, silently asking you to elaborate. “You didn’t seem as if you weren’t having fun the first time.”

He rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t going how it was meant to be.”

“And how was it meant to be?” 

He clacks his tongue against his inner cheek as annoyance crosses over that handsome face. “We both know how. I’m not talking about Nara.”

Your heart jumps at that happily, mocking her pleasantly in your mind. God, you really can be awful sometimes!

“Wipe that smug look off your face.”

Gasping, you stutter over your words – ready to come up with a set of lies. 

“Come on, we’re gonna be late.” He ushers you, effortlessly dismissing your weak attempt to prove him otherwise. 

All you can do is to follow him in the tracks with a sour look on your face, mainly caused by a light embarrassment of him just knowing. He awaits for you at the entrance, motioning for you to go first as the front door is being held open by the doorman. At least there’s a different person that greets you.

The idea of them realizing you both came here with different people twice makes you sheepish but laugh at the same time. 

As you enter the restaurant, you can’t shake off the feelings you’ve felt here. It’s like a bitter reminder of what happened that evening–both of you coming here with different people. And now that you know it was meant to be you and Jungkook all along, it lifts the weight of the bitterness. 

This is Jungkook’s try and your chance to make this memorable. Because god, this restaurant deserves it. Their reviews say it all–it’s a shame your own experience started as it did. Not that the evening wasn’t nice–or Gabriel–but it simply just reminds you of your previous situation. 

The host greets you with a warm smile and a fresh orchid pinned to his linen white shirt. Jungkook gives him his name which makes the host hum in confirmation as he checks the paper. Right away, you’re being guided down the porch as the familiar tables and scenery welcomes you. 

The main dining area is lively and elegant, just as you remember it to be. The scent of plumeria and grilled seafood fills the air, and a live ukulele player strums gentle melodies that drift on the salty wind.

“Where are we going?” you whisper, hand grabbing Jungkook’s forearm for support as you’re being guided through a stone path, the turquoise ocean now dark as the moon shines bright. 

“You will see.” he whispers back, copying your tone as you roll your eyes and admire the beauty around you. 

As you follow the curved stone path, flanked by dancing torchlight and vibrant hibiscus, the lively hum fades, giving way to a hush meant for two.

You get a perfect sight of a private cabana, see a similar one in the distance, as your mouth drops. The cabana is open-air, you would guess it’s mostly designed for couples seeking intimacy. Each cabana is its own little world: standing on the beach and close to the ocean, with sheer white curtains that can be drawn for privacy or left open to the breeze.

A candle glows on the polished wooden table between two wicker chairs, while faint music hums quietly from somewhere just out of sight. Unlike the bustling main space, the private dining area feels hushed and timeless. 

The hosts motions for the cabana, “This one’s for you. You have a special server that is available to you throughout your stay here.”

Speechless and out of breath, you squeeze Jungkook’s forearm as if you begged him to pinch you. Is this how it would feel like dating Jeon Jungkook on a daily basis? 

As the host gives you a respectful nod and bids his goodbye, telling you to enjoy the dinner, a server approaches with graceful ease—barefoot on the soft wooden decking, his movements quiet and fluid, as if not to disturb the moment. 

He wears a crisp, short-sleeved white shirt tucked neatly into tailored linen trousers, the fabric light and breathable in the coastal air. Similar to the ones they were at the main dining area. 

A single orchid is tucked behind one ear, certainly a subtle nod to island tradition.

“Good evening,” he says, bowing his head slightly. “Welcome. May I offer you a glass of champagne to begin?”

“I never want to wake up.” you whisper, hearing Jungkook chuckling lightly.

“Champagne?”

“Mhm.” you squeak, dropping down onto the chair where a plush cushion softens your impact. 

The server pours you a champagne, lightly dropping a strawberry into the glass. He pours it professionally and stands with a perfect posture. 

“Take your time,” he says warmly. “I’ll be just nearby if you need anything—but I’ll give you your space to enjoy the evening.”

He offers you multi-course meals designed to be shared—chilled oysters on the half shell, fresh ahi poke with sesame and avocado, buttery seared scallops, grilled Kona lobster drizzled with a sauce you don’t remember the name of. 

“Yes, thank you. That will be great.” Jungkook smiles, sitting down as he adjusts the sleeves of his shirt.

The server offers a small nod, then steps away quietly, leaving only the sound of waves and soft music in his place.

“What the–” you stop yourself, looking around to check where the server is. You spot his back as he silently walks away to bring you your food and undoubtedly, give you some privacy. “Fuck!”

Jungkook chuckles. 

“What is this, Jungkook?”

He sits back, sucks in his bottom lip as he shrugs. “I wanted something more fancy and this is all they had.”

“This is some kind of place you propose to someone,” you whisper–yell, too shocked to even comprehend what you’re experiencing at the moment. “You’re not planning to propose, are you?”

Jungkook laughs, resting his hand against the clean table as he gently taps his fingers. “No. I am not proposing to you.”

“Good,” you hum, leaning back. He seems to be amused by your reaction, hiding a grin as he keeps watching your awe. “God, Jungkook.”

“You don’t like it?” 

You look at him as if he was crazy. “This is straight out of some kind of movie–or something. I love it–but wow–I can’t believe you’ve pulled this off.”

“Good. One more minute and I would think you hate it here.”

You give him a nasty look, pursing your lips. “How much did you pay for this?”

He leans closer, resting his forearms on the table as he adds with a smile; “None of your business.”

Scoffing, you scratch the top of your ear. “Jungkook… this is one of the nicest things someone has done for me. And I’m not talking about the poshness of this. I just–I don’t think I would ever experience something like this.”

“I am sure you would.” Jungkook says and shrugs as if it’s nothing. You give him a good look at your raised brow.

“You know–this is very romantic…” you note, looking around as your gaze fixes at the lit candle in the end. 

“They don’t really make special cabanas for two best friends who occasionally fuck.”

You start to choke on your saliva, met with Jungkook’s grin as you shake your head. Before you can say anything else, the server comes with a bit of help from someone else from the staff. It’s a woman, she greets you and helps to set up the plates as the fresh scent of sea food fills the air.

Your mouth salivates just from the smell of it. Instead, you reach for the champagne and thank both of them as they finish describing each dish briefly. 

“Jeon Jungkook, I will kill you.”

Jungkook laughs, gulping down the champagne in one go. “Thanks would’ve been fine.”

You both dig into the dishes right away, Jungkook pouring a new champagne out of the iced bucket in the middle of it. 

“To…”

“To us,” you toast, smiling at him. “May we always work it out, no matter how messy we can get.”

“Can’t disagree with that.” he chuckles, both of your glasses clinking as you both take a few gulps. 

You both lean in, turning your attention back to the table as you continue to taste the dishes, savoring the mix of flavors while the sound of waves and your laughter blend softly into the night.

You could get used to this. 

Waves rolling in slow and steady, better than any white noise could ever dream. The sun soaks into your skin, golden and lazy, sinking down to your bones. Naturally. Perhaps after a while, it would become boring and repetitive. The same sounds, the same slow rhythm of days. 

But right now, in this very moment, you’re soaking it all in—every shimmer of sunlight and every breath of salt air.

You crack one eye open, squinting against the blaze of sunlight spilling over your face. The heat stings for a second before you lift a hand to shield your eyes, palm cutting through the glare. When your vision clears, the first thing you see is the pool. 

Sunlight scatters across its surface, complimenting the turquoise color. It’s incredible how clean the pool looks. There’s no imperfection. 

Its surface suddenly breaks with a low splash. Jungkook surfaces with an easy stroke and a breath of air. He stands on the pool stairs, slowly making his way up–too focused, wiping water off his face as he pushes his wet hair back. 

Droplets stream down his shoulders, tracing the lines of his chest and abs before dripping onto the tiles. Your throat goes dry as you shamelessly watch the scene unfold in front of you. You stay stretched out on the lounge chair, head tilted just enough to keep the sun from getting in the way of your view.

A grin curves at the corner of his mouth as he reaches for a towel.

“I see you’re feeling better.”

Bastard. He’s enjoying this.

You reach for the glass of iced water beside you, taking a slow sip. Your throat thanks you instantly as the dryness fades away. You might’ve overdone it yesterday by bringing sushi to the beach house after dinner. 

What? There was so much food that Jungkook practically laughed at you, teasing that you ate like a bird. Ridiculous — this was probably the biggest portion you’d ever taken. And the sushi looked far too good to leave untouched.

You’d heard that at posh restaurants, you’re not really supposed to ask for leftovers. Maybe being a little tipsy didn’t help, because you found yourself voicing the thought to Jungkook. He laughed and, shamelessly, asked them to pack it for you. Of course, they didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

You had no idea what came over you. Your stomach was so full you could have exploded—you kept burping and whining about eating too much. But after a couple of hours, as your stomach slowly started digesting, you couldn’t ignore the sushi set Jungkook had put in the fridge. So, in the middle of the night, you indulged a little.

Your gluttony came with consequences–your stomach ached, and you barely slept. The discomfort was worse during the night, but by the time you both woke up, you’d settled on staying at the beach house, choosing to enjoy the pool instead. Every twist and turn of your stomach reminded you of last night’s indulgence—hence the purely devoted choice of water.

Hence Jungkook’s comment.

Even though he sounds amused now, teasing you for out-eating yourself, he had looked genuinely concerned when he first saw your face scrunch up in discomfort.

“What makes you say that?” you mutter under your breath.

To be honest, you’re slightly embarrassed. Not that all you could think about yesterday was taking Jungkook’s clothes off—and him doing the same to you—you couldn’t wait to get back to the beach house, as shameless as that sounds. Instead, you ended up feeling awful, spending the entire night tossing and turning—not at all in the pleasurable way you had imagined.

Jungkook cocks an eyebrow at you, a knowing smirk hiding behind the beer can as he takes a sip. You watch, mesmerized, as his throat bobs with each gulp. Feeling suddenly too hot, you push yourself up from the chair—maybe a little too quickly, because your stomach protests with an odd flutter. Ignoring it, you dip your toes into the lukewarm water.

Going down the stairs, you get inside the pool–seeing how Jungkook has eyed you the entire time. 

“Who’s staring now?” you muse.

“Who said anything about staring?”

You chuckle. So that’s how he wants to play.

He approaches the pool with a smirk, and your grin slowly fades as a flicker of suspicion crosses your mind.

“What are you doing?” you ask, barely finishing the words.

Before you can react further, Jungkook leaps into the pool, sending a splash that soaks your hair and face. He surfaces, met with the sight of your frowning face. It cracks slightly when you see his wide grin, and the corner of your mouth twitches.

“You wanna laugh! I see it!” he teases.

You laugh, shaking your head. “You’re like a kid sometimes!”

He shakes his head, sending droplets flying from his hair and splashing you in playful revenge. 

“Seriously–hey–”

As the laughter dies down, Jungkook inches closer, his gaze fixed on your face as you wipe away the remnants of his splash. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Like I’ve been on a boat for a month.”

“That bad, huh?”

You shrug. “Better than last night, at least.”

Diving into the water, silence surrounds you for a few seconds—until you surface a little too close and bump into Jungkook’s chest.

“Oops,” you tease, though it’s genuinely an accident.

The way he looks at you sends goosebumps down your spine, despite the lukewarm water that’s probably better than most hotel pools. You catch his eyes flicker downward for just a moment, taking in the swell of your chest just peeking above the water.

He reaches, catching a droplet between your breasts, and you inhale sharply at the touch. Your heart races, pounding wildly in your chest as you anticipate his next move. It’s as if he’s weighing whether to continue—or maybe it’s not a question of desire, but of what he should do.

Not wanting him to change his mind—selfishly—you press your hand to his chest, letting your fingers trace over him. He hovers close, so near that leaning in to kiss him feels almost impossible.

He takes the bait—if that’s what it can be called—and wraps his hands around your waist, guiding you toward the side of the pool. 

“I thought you were feeling sick.”

Smiling at that and you hum, “It’s not that bad.”

“You were lying in bed the entire time. You’ve only been out here for, like, an hour.”

And an hour it has been!

“So?”

“You don’t lay in bed for too long. You always find something to do.”

“Yeah, okay,” you dismiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He instinctively holds your hips for support as you curl your legs around his waist.

“That’s how I know you’ve not been feeling well.”

“My stomach is fine as long as I don’t make rushed moves.”

“Well that’s too bad then.”

You pout, “I didn’t mean it like–” you sigh, “We can take it slow.”

“Y/N!” he gasps scandalously. “Are you suggesting we have slow sex?”

You roll your eyes, ready to unwrap your arms around him as he holds you tighter. “Why are you holding me then?” you mutter, annoyed. Can he just be horny at this moment? Like any other man would be? 

“Maybe I just want to be close to you,” he suggests with a grin, making you tug at the hair on the back of his head.

Ignoring how soft and tingly it feels, you whisper, “Liar.”

“Why do you think so?”

You press your bodies together, causing him to groan. “For one, because of this.”

A soft gasp escapes your lips as he hoists you up and has you seated on the edge of the pool. He spreads your legs apart, moving your bikini bottom aside as he touches your clit. 

“Ah, fuck.” you gasp.

“God, you really are dirty,” he teases. “Not feeling well, and look at you.”

“I’m suddenly all healthy,” you reply.

He laughs, drawing you closer so your hips rest partly on the edge of the pool.

“Now lay back and enjoy.” 

“Wh–” 

One hand, fingers tucked under your bikini bottom and the other spreading your leg apart, he dives in and it’s only a second before you feel his mouth on you. In one swift motion, you’re laying on your back just as he told you to, ignoring your stomach and focusing on what's going on between your legs. 

He eats you out, slowly and delicately, leaving you a mess who silently begs for more. You move your hips toward him, yearning for more. Your back arches and chest heaves–and you feel you’re almost there. He flickers his tongue against you and soon enough, you reach the end–breathless as your muscles relax.

He pulls your bikini bottom back into place and hoists himself out of the pool as you sit up. A strange, lingering sensation washes over you as the intensity fades.

“You okay?” he asks.

Jungkook helps you to your feet and guides you to the lounge chair, offering a glass of water—now just melted ice.

“I think you should eat something,” he says, nodding toward the back door as you head inside.

Jungkook prepares a bowl of fruit for you, just like the one you had for breakfast, while he makes himself a sandwich. You nibble on the fruit slowly. 

A wave of queasiness hits you like a punch to the gut, your stomach twisting and churning violently. Your mouth goes dry, a bitter taste rising as your body threatens to betray you, and your head spins slightly as you clutch your stomach.

“What’s going on?”

Hand covering your mouth, you stumble toward the bathroom. You barely make it in time, sliding the toilet seat up as your stomach releases everything. The retching sounds are just a noise in the background as you can feel the vomit in your mouth and nose.

Jungkook’s bare feet slap against the tiles as he rushes to the bathroom, worry etched across his face. He bursts in just as you’re leaning over the toilet and letting it all out again. He wraps his hand around your hair and holds it back for you. With a hand on your back, he rubs it gently. 

“It’s okay, let it all out.”

He continues to rub your back until you lift your head once you think it’s over–sitting back softly. 

“Fuck,” you murmur.

“Let me just–” he says, his footsteps rushing as he hurries out.

The taste of vomit is overwhelming, bitter and sharp on your tongue, the smell filling your senses. You reach for the flush button and press it, the swirling water washing away the evidence as you take a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself.

Fuck. The smell and taste linger everywhere, the entire bathroom probably reeking of your vomit. You want to call out to Jungkook, to tell him not to come in—there’s no need for him to be here, in the middle of this mess.

Though, Jungkook comes back with a glass of water, holding it out to you. You rinse your mouth first, letting the water spill into the toilet before taking a small sip. When you hand the glass back, he sets it on the sink and watches you carefully as you settle onto the toilet lid.

Holding your forehead, you give it a slow rub.

“I’m going to the pharmacy to get something to help with the stomachache,” Jungkook says, concern tightening his features. 

You were almost feeling fine. What the hell? Did the fruit irritate your stomach even more?

You press a hand to your stomach, frowning as the discomfort lingers. Then it hits you—slowly, unsettlingly. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

You were supposed to get your period days ago. Your stomach churns for another reason now, one that has nothing to do with the fruit. A wave of unease settles over you as your mind races through the possibilities.

No. No. No. It can’t be!

Jungkook notices something is off—the way your eyes widen, the sudden stillness in your movements. His brow furrows slightly as he steps closer, searching your face. He drops to his knees in front of you, trying to get a clear view of your face, his brow furrowed with concern that has never left.

“What?” he asks, his voice gentle but edged with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” you gulp, squeezing your eyes shut, unable to get the words out. The possibility swirls in your mind, each thought twisting tighter as you replay every moment, every detail that could make it real.

One thing is painfully clear: you had sex. Your mind won’t settle, and you can’t think straight.

“My period—” you gulp again, “it’s late.”

Painfully and slowly, you glance to your right at Jungkook. He jerks slightly, almost as if you’d slapped him, the realization dawning. He slowly meets your eyes again.

“That’s… we only had—” he stammers, trying to make sense of it.

“We had sex, Jungkook. Multiple times—and not just here.”

“I… I didn’t—”

“We both know we had unprotected sex. Women can get pregnant even if—holy shit. Fuck.”

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, his eyes wide as he tries to process the news—not that it’s definite, but the possibility hangs heavy between you. “Okay… okay,”

“We’re so fucking stupid, Jungkook! I can’t be pregnant!” 

Panic surges through you, your stomach twisting violently as if you’re about to throw up at any second. 

Jungkook, however, keeps a surprisingly cool head. He reaches out, placing a steadying hand on your shoulder. 

“Okay… we don’t know anything for sure yet,” he says calmly. “I’ll go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test, so we know for sure.”

“Right,” you reply, rushed. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m coming with you.”

He eyes you uncertainly as you stand, concern flickering across his face. “Are you sure? You don’t want to lie down?”

“And think of all the possibilities? Hell no,” you say, shaking your head.

You quickly change your clothes and head to the nearest drugstore, trying desperately to keep your mind off all the possibilities. You can’t even begin to count how long it’s been since you had sex back at home, and the thought twists your stomach again.

Fuck. You’re so stupid. You were so careless. Why would you have unprotected sex?

Jungkook remains silent the entire time, only speaking as he gives you directions where to go. Both of you are dead silent. 

As you get to the store, you rush to find the right section and once you do, you’re met with multiple choices. Never done this before–not imagining you would be doing it anytime soon either–you stare helplessly. 

“How about this one?” Jungkook asks, holding up a box, looking just as clueless as you feel.

You take it from his hands, studying the packaging before handing it back with a straight look.

“It’s an ovulation test.”

“Oh,” he mutters, frowning at the other boxes.

You examine another box, reading the description carefully. “I think this one might be good.”

By the time you finish, Jungkook already has another box in his hands. You check it and give him a nod—he picked the right test. He takes two boxes along with the one you’re holding.

“Just in case,” he explains, and you nod.

“Let’s go, or else I’m gonna throw up.”

“Are you feeling sick again?” he asks as you both head down the aisle to the cashier.

“I don’t know if it’s actual nausea or just the thought…” you murmur, your stomach twisting again.

You reach the cashier as she scans the three boxes. Jungkook pulls out his wallet and pays–not even waiting for the receipt as you politely bid your goodbyes and rush back to the house. 

Once you’re back in the bathroom, you breathe in and out as you pull the test from the box. Jungkook leans against the doorframe, silent, watching as you read the instructions. It shouldn’t be difficult—you just have to pee on the stick and wait—but you still read every line carefully. It’s your first time doing this, after all. 

You tap your legs nervously, biting down your lower lip before finally sitting down on the toilet lid. 

“Hey—” Jungkook’s voice is tight, cautious. You hum in response, eyes unfocused.

“Y/N—” he says again, softer this time.

He lowers himself to one knee in front of you, making sure you’re really looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” you ask softly, searching his doe eyes. He looks… tender.

“I just—” he starts, a quiet, almost nervous chuckle escaping him. “Whatever the result is… please—promise me you’ll talk to me.”

Your features soften, the worry in your chest unraveling as empathy floods in. Here he is—this tall, broad man—on his knee before you, with the most vulnerable look in his eyes.

“Promise me, you wouldn’t just–”

And for the first time in a long while, you’re a witness of the aftermath of his trauma. There’s fear, memories and feelings that are brought back. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. He just needs your affirmation. 

“Of course, Kook.” you assure him softly.

He nods, slowly backing away to give you some privacy. You share one last time as he gently closes the bathroom door. You take a deep breath and lower your gaze, staring at the instructions one last time before you put it away and take the stick. 

When it’s done–all three of them–you set the tests carefully on the counter as you wash your hands. Opening the bathroom door, Jungkook paces nearby as he turns around as soon as he hears you. 

“We have to wait two minutes.” 

He steps closer, nodding, his eyes scanning your face as if making sure you’re okay. It takes one look at you to see your distress. Well how vacation got another turn. 

You sit on the toilet lid as Jungkook leans against the bathroom sink and crosses his arms. 

“Kook–I don’t know what I am going to do if–”

“Hey–we’ll figure it out okay?”

“No, no–there can’t be nothing to figure out. I can’t be pregnant.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m not ready! I can’t be pregnant–that’s just absurd–we’re absurd–”

“Hey, hey–” Jungkook steps closer and cups your face. That causes you to pause as you stare at him. “We will figure out everything–like we always do. Let’s just wait for the result, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “Let’s do that.”

Time feels oddly slow, as if it’s dragging purposely to torment you with the anticipation and fear of seeing the results. Both of you are lost in your own thoughts, minds separate and just hearing the awful silence before Jungkook’s timer goes off. You’re so out of it that you haven’t even noticed he has set one.

“We’re gonna both look at the same time, okay?” you say softly.

“Yeah, okay. Two lines mean pregnant, right?”

“That’s right.” Cautiously, you approach the counter where the sticks rest and before taking a big breath, you both face the sink and take a look. 

You both take each test in your hands to scan it closely. Then your eyes land on yours—and relief floods through you. 

Negative. Not pregnant. 

“Fuck! Thank God!” you almost yell, tossing the sink into the sink as Jungkook does the same and sighs in relief. Rubbing his face, you both check the third just to make sure and once that comes out negative as well–you finally relax. 

“Fuck.” he sighs in relief, relaxes his shoulders.

You toss the tests into the bin, you make your way out of the bathroom–as you sit on the bed.

“Why am I so sick then?” you whine, rubbing your stomach. 

“It seems like you just irritated your stomach with all the food. I don’t think it’s food poisoning, or else you would’ve vomited shortly after the dinner and not the next day.”

Great. Well, it’s probably better than being pregnant. 

However, there’s this odd feeling lingering in the pit of your stomach. A huge relief has washed over you, yes, but there’s that fear of it happening again. This situation just awoke a realization you’ve known based on basic facts of how biology and sex works, but after experiencing it on your own–you know you don’t want to go through this again. 

The risk is too big. And as long as you and Jungkook will keep doing this–it’s not safe. It’s not right.

“I will go to the pharmacy and get you something for it.” 

Jungkook pauses, watching as you step closer.

“Jungkook–”

“Hm?”

You stand, rubbing your stomach. “We got carried away,” 

Jungkook stands, watching as you get closer. 

“It keeps happening again and again.”

He doesn’t need clarification.  Acknowledgement is written all over his face and it doesn’t take too much to realize where this is heading. 

“I know,” he says.

You meet his eyes. “Can we even be friends?”

Jungkook’s features soften. “Y/N…”

“We keep falling into this—on and off. No matter what we say, what we promise—we always end up in bed together. Are we even friends anymore?”

“Of course we are.”

“Jungkook friends just don’t fuck on and off all the time. Ever since we started–we can barely keep hands to each other. We can’t control ourselves, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we can. We just can’t.” 

He doesn’t argue, knowing everything you’re saying is right. 

“What would happen if the next test comes out positive?”

He has no answer for that. 

“We are caught up in this–whatever this is–and we never even thought about what the consequences could be. This is a dangerous game we’re playing.”

The situation with Kiko was different—she was his girlfriend. When something like this happened to them, it made more sense because they were in a relationship. Stuff like that happens and makes more sense. But this?

You and Jungkook are not in a relationship.

You’re two best friends who got too close and got caught up in lust and attraction. 

“I’m not putting any blame on you, please, don’t think I do.”

“I am not, Y/N. I don’t feel like you’re doing that.”

You smile sadly at him, “Kook. We can’t do this anymore. And I mean it this time.”

He smiles too, cupping your face as you close your eyes, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, letting them trace his skin softly as he caresses your cheek. 

“Kook…”

All of this makes sense. All of this needs to end. And you have to go back to being just best friends. Without any physical contact that might indicate something more. Things might not be the same–how could they? But you can slowly erase all of this and just go back to the friends you once knew. It will probably be the hardest task you will have to do and no one knows how it will end up. If it’s even possible.

And that scares you.

Because your most treasured friendship is at stake—and that thought terrifies you more than anything.

So why does it feel like a part of you is being ripped away?

“I can’t lose you, Kook.” you whisper.

“You won’t lose me,” he says softly, almost smiling—as if the idea itself is impossible.

“What if we can’t go back to being just friends? No sex. No intimacy.”

He hesitates. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t say that,” you plead, your voice cracking, eyes stinging. Jungkook steps closer and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. You grab his wrist, holding on like he might slip away if you don’t.

“We’ll work it out,” he murmurs, stepping back but keeping his eyes on you. A small smile tugs at his lips. “We always do.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll get you some meds, okay?” he assures you. “And I’ll take the couch from now on. You just lay down and rest.”

You want to argue. The words are on the tip of your tongue, ready to tell him it’s fine—you can share the bed. But you stop yourself. Jungkook notices; it’s evident, and you practically freeze before slowly retracing your steps.

“Thank you,” you whisper softly, almost afraid he won’t hear.

But the reassuring smile he gives proves otherwise.

As soon as Jungkook is out of the house, being the best friend you could’ve ever asked for, you sink down on the bed. 

You feel empty. Even though your mind knows you’ve made the most rational decision—both of you have—tears start to stream down your face. Maybe it’s nostalgia? Or maybe it’s the ache of wanting Jungkook close so badly you can’t imagine not having him there.

No. You can do this.

It will take time—perhaps a lot of it—to get back to where you were. But you’ll do everything in your power to make sure you give it your best effort.

a/n: It’s finally here! Can you believe it? Because I can’t 😭 This year went by so fast – it honestly feels like only a couple of months have passed. I wanted to take this a/n to just talk for a bit, hope you don’t mind. If you stick around to read, thank you so much! Some of you might not know, but I started uni while also working every weekday. A lot has been happening, and it’s been busy. Like, really busy. Finding time to just relax or write has been hard, which is why updates have taken longer. It’s never on purpose, I promise – I just hope you can understand how chaotic adult life can get sometimes 😅 On top of that, my laptop has been acting up lately – glitching, running out of space, the whole deal – so working on my stories hasn’t been the easiest. So yeah, it hasn’t made things any easier 😭 But I’ve been managing, and I still really want to keep writing whenever I can because I love doing it.

I’ve even been offered a few part-time jobs, but I turned them down since I know it’d leave me with zero time (and energy) to write. These stories mean a lot to me – they’re like my little online babies – and I always want to give them the time and love they deserve.

This update and chapter is dedicated to everyone who’s been dedicated, supportive and extremely kind to me. Coming online always reminds me how rare these qualities are in people, and I’m genuinely grateful for every one of you. MH is a crazy journey and it’s coming to an end. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it’s a year of hard work haha and I’m very happy how it turned out. Don’t kill me what happens in this one ahahah – you know I love realistic stuff and I’m a sucker for angst <33 All the love!!

If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡

Not even the alcohol on it tastes as bitter. 

Regardless of what kind of opportunity it turned out to be, you had to do it. You're slowly losing it and being in Jungkook's presence alone is not helping. 

A jealous kind of person is not what you would describe yourself. When the word jealous comes to one's mind, they think of someone being possessive jealous in the worst kind of way.  You might've been possessive about people around you, but in a healthy way. 

Sure, the thing with Ester is not the greatest example of it, but that was something different. 

There's something building up, something you haven't experienced with Jungkook before. You were jealous in the friendliest possible way. You don't want to dwell on it more than necessary, but with Ester, you were scared of her becoming Jungkook's close friend. It sounds terrible this way, perhaps a little toxic too – it's hard to describe and put it into the right words so one could understand it clearly. There are parts where even you don't understand it.

You're confident about what you and he have. From the moment you met to the point where your friendship is at. Even that is a bit debatable, but you don't want to go there. Not right now. And possibly not in the near future. There are certain things you don't want to think about. 

Ones you're scared of.

Still. Seeing Jungkook having another friend who he genuinely gets along with, in a meaningful way caused you to act on the void you felt. 

But jealousy is a human emotion nevertheless. And you totally hate it at the moment. 

Because there's no Ester or any possible special friendships to be made. This is different. 

Why the fuck you hate staring at Jungkook and Nara. That's what she's named and introduced herself as when she happily sat behind Jungkook, holding his waist as he drove them through the small waves on a jet ski. 

Clearly, sharing a meaningful connection called friendship is not on top of her list. She's smiling the entire time they talk about whatever, even though it's the most casual topic. She's not the typical giggling type that smiles to whatever that's being said just to flirt. She seems genuinely interested in Jungkook. Maybe a little bit too much. 

Okay, definitely. 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You tap your fingers on the table, sun setting down as you watch Jungkook and Nara taking a fucking walk along the beach. You hate that after three drinks, you still have your stomach crumbled and twisted around.

There's no reason for you to be mad at Jungkook. You told him to meet people. You freaking hinted about him trying to get it on with other people. Okay, maybe you're irritated he took it seriously and clearly goes for it a little too soon. You also told him you'll be fine here while they go on a walk alone.

“So it's just you two here?” Gabriel asks next to you, catching your attention for the hundredth time in the past three hours. Yes, that's how long you've been spending your time with them. 

They're fun and friendly. Nothing bad about them. Clearly young people who want to have fun. They're relaxed, fun and outgoing. 

So why the hell would you rather have Min Yoongi here than having to witness all of this?

Mentally shaking your head at your ridiculous thoughts, you turn to Gabriel and tear your eyes off those two. You give him a stare that tells him enough about your suspicion by that sudden question. 

“Relax, I'm just asking.”

“And I should believe you because?” you question him. You might've appeared slightly cold toward him. You're not sure if his friendliness wants to aim somewhere else and to something more, or he's just that outgoing. 

Clearly, he doesn't want to back away because he's been very persistent. You give him that. 

There's a slight spark between the tug and pull game. But it's not the one you're looking for. 

“Because I'm telling the truth.”

There's chatter and laughter going from the other people you've been introduced to. You don't remember all of their names though. You hope you won't have to see them after this. God, that sounded so harsh. They're nice, you swear! But!

They don't give you any attention which makes your conversation slightly more comfortable. 

“You're still a stranger. How do I know you're telling me the truth?”

“So just believe me–”

“That literally goes against–”

He laughs. He's handsome. Has a sharp jawline and a cute smile. “You're a piece of work.”

“I know. I'm amazing.”

He can't seem to drop his eyes off you. You've experienced those before. Which is why you're not sure if he's honest about that or if it's the trick of flirting with you. It seems like men always have some kind of ulterior motive behind their behavior. 

You don't hate men. Even if it looks like it. You just don't trust them. 

Unless they are Jungkook, Jimin or Taehyung. 

Surprisingly, at least Gabriel doesn't annoy you in the Min Yoongi type of way. He's nice, not pushy and annoying which you appreciate. 

You glance at him fully, both of you chuckling at your ridiculous conversation. 

There's a deeper meaning behind his question. For the first time, he showed more of his prying persona. You can't blame him. It was bound for people to question it. You've grown used to it.

“Yes, it's just me and Jungkook.”

He nods, already knowing this but traces his glass. He had one beer an hour ago and after that one, he switched to lemonades. Somehow, you find that a little attractive. 

“Our friends were supposed to go with us, but it didn't work for them unfortunately.”

He already knows you're staying at one of the beach houses, which to their expressions, they were a bit surprised to hear that. It's a more expensive side of the beach and while they're staying nearby, it might sound suggestive that you two alone are where families and lovers mostly stay. 

“Didn't work how? What if it's their way to get you together alone?” 

His question has a light tone full of teasing and suggestion, knowing exactly where this is going. He's trying to figure out your relationship with Jungkook, probably not believing two best friends that are on a vacation are only that. Friends. Well, that's quite debatable in all ways but you're not exactly going to share a full depth of anything related to your actual relationship to Jungkook. 

Gabriel doesn't give you any vibes of being a snitch, but he's still a stranger. A handsome one but not even his pretty face could make you spill the tea. Anyway, he's definitely not asking because he's skeptical but mostly asking for himself. 

You would've had to be blind and dumb not to notice his undeniable attention and interest aimed toward you. It's flattering and a compliment, really. More than anything else.

“Well, one of them ended up in a hospital with broken toes, so I would like to think he didn't do it on purpose.”

“Ouch.”

“Exactly,” you deadpan, sipping more of your drink. 

He grins. He has a cocky twist to his smile. There's no denying he's a catch wherever he travels.

“Even though, you never know with him.” you say, watching Gabriel's confused look before you shrug and chuckle under your breath. 

Taehyung loves himself too much to hurt himself. No matter how much he would love you and Jungkook messing around more.

Speaking of him, you glance back at the couple walking down the beach. There's nothing special or weird about it. They're just walking beside each other, there's even some distance between them now. Is Jungkook listening to your previous words and just trying to – you don't even know how to name it. 

Is he trying to get to know someone else in hopes of getting more?

Is he planning to hook up with anyone from this group? 

Because he totally could and there would be nothing you would do about it. But why should you in the first place? It should not bother you. You should be in the front row hyping him up to do it. You should smack his shoulder and tell him to go for it, like all the guys do.

So why can't you?

You believe it's because you've never experienced anything similar to what you have with Jungkook. Obviously, he's more than the sex God you've portrayed him as in your head. He's definitely more than that. But speaking just about that alone, the thought of him going for someone else and showing that side of him to some stranger he just met, honestly bothers you. It's too soon. And you know if you weren't too thoughtful, you wouldn't be in this position because you would've kept hooking up. 

You wouldn't have to worry about him suddenly having sex with someone else. He would never do that when he's intimate with you. 

Fuck. Why are you even thinking of all of this? 

You did what was best for you and him. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of time before something like this happens. And you know it will and you're going to be okay with it. You will move on.

But perhaps you rushed into it. You've panicked and indirectly told him to just have fun. Without you. In that exact sense you're thinking of. 

He's smart. Of course he caught onto the meaning right away and something tells you he's doing exactly that. You can't even be mad at him because you told him. You were the one who encouraged and pushed him to move on.

“I didn't mean to pry,” Gabriel speaks up, reminding you of his presence and your cheeks heat up even more under the sun that's barely up there.

You try to cover up your staring by looking at the sea before finally looking at him. He couldn't see the exact direction of your vision, but he could've guessed because they're right there. 

“I just find it interesting.”

“Interesting?” You frown in confusion.

“You two.”

“What's so interesting about two best friends? Because one is a female and the other male?” 

His brows shoot up, catching up onto your slightly offended tone. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it then?”

He hesitates, but your lifted brow that demands a response causes him to lick his lips as he sighs. “You've been checking him a few times now.”

You grit your teeth together. Not because you're offended that he indeed noticed, but you're embarrassed that he did. 

“I've been checking on my best friend.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckles, trying to play it off as he puts his hands up in surrender. “I wasn't really trying to suggest something else. I just noticed that your friendship seems… special.”

“And it is.”

He nods, wrapping his hand around the drink as he picks up on the small droplets. “Nara won't bite his head off. She's cool.”

“I wasn't suggesting anything else.” You throw his words back at him. He notices, the left corner of his lips twisting in a smirk but he doesn't say anything about it. 

“Would your friend bite my head off though?”

You arch your brow at him, “And why would he do that?”

“I don't know, maybe for trying to get to know you?”

“You're getting to know me.” you point out, knowing what he's hinting at but you're playing it off. An amusement dances in your eyes and he sees it, his smirk only getting bigger but the determination of getting straight with you is even bigger. 

“I am.” he hums. 

“Well, I can't promise anything. Jungkook is protective.”

“Surely he would understand I don't have any vile intentions. I mean, you're single, right?”

You gulp, stopping for a moment. You could possibly make some kind of situation. You're single but you weren't exactly free and down to meeting someone else. For multiple reasons. You could tell him you just got out of… relationship that had nothing to do with dating. Simply said, you could tell him you had a fuck buddy and now you're just focusing on yourself.

But considering your previous topic, he could easily catch on and for some reason, you don't want to risk it. You don't want any strangers knowing about you and Jungkook. It seems awfully personal and intimate.

“I am.” you mutter.

“So? He can't chase all men away from you.”

And he probably won't. 

“I don't know… he did punch a guy for me.”

“What?” he deadpans. 

You chuckle, “He was my ex. Said some nasty stuff. Kook didn't like it.”

“So he… punched him?”

“Mhm,” You take another sip. “He did deserve it though.”

“I would never say nasty stuff about you. Or any woman.”

What are you supposed to do with that information?

“Never say never.” you shrug. 

“No, I mean it. I wasn't raised like that.”

“I don't think he was either. But sometimes we don't know ourselves. And sometimes we can surprise ourselves too.”

“I get that, but if your friend had to punch him for it, he obviously wasn't good.”

You look at your drink that's slowly disappearing. You should slow down. “He's not a bad guy.”

“Doesn't sound like it.”

You roll your eyes, “You've got an answer for everything, don't you?”

“You seem to be just the same way.” he points out.

“You've known me for a few hours, Gabriel. I could be a total bitch or a completely different person than you've made up in your head.”

“And that's why I would like to know you more.”

You stare at him. 

Having to be in similar situations a few times, this time feels slightly different. Even though he's determined, he's not annoyingly pushy. He's good looking and has something in him that makes you flattered that he's not backing down. Showing a clear interest in you is not something you would gag at or roll your eyes like you usually would have. 

“So if I wanted to invite you for dinner, lunch… whatever you want it to be, would you go?”

“Are you asking me on a date, stranger?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I'm asking to hang with you and get to know you.”

“Umm, isn't that the definition of a date?”

“Could be,” he shrugs, “But I'm from Italy and you live on the opposite side of the world.”

“Exactly.” you point out. 

“Oh come on, just say no if you don't want to.”

“Are you looking for a hook-up, Gabriel?” you question him, not wanting to beat around the bush. Somehow, you know he's honest but you have a hard time believing he's just interested in getting to know you. 

Why? 

Like he said. You live in different countries and both of you don't look like the type to have a long-distance relationship. 

He starts coughing, taken back by your sudden straight-forwardness before he laughs, finding some amusement in it. “If you want to.”

“Is that why you want to get to know me?” 

“No.”

You look at him skeptically, “I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe.”

“Then I'm disappointed by the man you've encountered.” 

“Hey, I have amazing men around me.”

Two of them probably broke more hearts than any of these people in this group, but they're amazing men regardless of it. It's the fact they never did it intentionally. And Jungkook is the definition of a perfect guy. Perfect in terms of loving and thoughtful person who would give everything to his loved ones. 

“Never said you don't. You love your friends very much, don't you?”

That goes without a question. He sees the look on your face and it causes him to smile. For some reason, he seems smitten by you. Of course he does, look at you. You're amazing.

“You could say they're my second family.”

Perhaps if they were actually here, things would've been a lot different. That goes without debate. 

Taking in the silence that follows, you can't help but glance in the direction where Jungkook and Gabriel's friend are walking down the beach. However, they no longer are and instead you find him taking pictures of her. She makes poses, showing off her toned and tanned body. And then she walks up to him, clinging to his side as he shows her the results. She seems to be impressed, as far as you know, it's hard to see it clearly from this distance. 

And it's for the better, honestly.

“Listen, it doesn't have to mean anything more. Just us hanging out over a good dinner… or a lunch.”

Gluing your eyes back to Gabriel, which seems to be the safer choice, your eyes run over his features as you take a breath – realizing your stiffened posture before you relax.

“I don't have any sick intentions.”

“You know… you constantly making sure I know that kinda makes it harder to believe you.”

He laughs, shaking his head as he smiles at his drink. Your teasing brings some peacefulness into this conversation again. “Just let me know your decision. Take your time.”

You give him a smirk, knowing you're kind of running out of time. Both of you know it and that's why you both grin at each other. Before any of you can say something, the approaching chatter interrupts you. Jungkook and Nara join you, she says something which makes Jungkook smile and that's when he looks up. Your eyes meet and you straighten yourself, ignoring the way your heart squeezes.

“What's up,” Gabriel says next to you, looking at Nara who seems to joyfully sit down and take a few sips of her drink. 

“Got some nice shots. Jungkook here is pure talent. I'ma show you later.” she says, smiling at Jungkook at the compliments she's giving him. 

The corner of his lips turn slowly up before he glances back at you. Looking away, you poke the back of your front teeth with your tongue.

“What's your plans for tomorrow? We were thinking of visiting the water park here. It's brand new and apparently very fun. You wanna join us?” Nara asks, reaching for a bowl of fruit that Gabriel has ordered. “Anyone?” she points at the bowl. 

Everyone shakes their heads before her previous question still sits in the air. She glances between you and Jungkook, awaiting your answer.

Once again, you look at each other without saying anything. 

“They probably have different plans, Nara.” Gabriel notes, shrugging.

Not wanting to let them know about the lingering tension that somehow remains between you two, you take matters into your hands and give Gabriel a smile. “We don't yet, not definite but we'll think of something.”

They seem to be settled with that before the conversation moves to something else. Somehow it seems unfinished and by the time you and Jungkook are alone, walking back to your beach house, the feeling intensifies.

“So what about tomorrow?” 

Jungkook is the first one to speak up once you get inside, a few minutes spent in silence after both of you are finished with your shower. You cut strawberries for yourself you got at the market earlier this morning. 

“I don't know. We don't have any clear plans, do we?” you hum.

“We could look around the Island. See what's up there and decide then.”

“Sounds good.” 

Jungkook stands behind you, in a safe distance but you can feel his eyes burning your back. However, he doesn't make a sound before a silent sigh leaves his mouth.

“Then what?”

“What then?” you frown, focusing on your cutting as he walks up to you. He leans against the counter with his lower back, crossing his arms over his chest. Luckily, he has put a t-shirt on. One second staring at him topless and you would be done for.

He's staring at you. You know he is, yet your eyes stay glued to the cutboard while you're taking your time with cutting the strawberries more precisely than it's necessary. “The water park. You wanna go?”

You halt, pursing your lips slightly. “Do you?”

He sighs again, “I think it would be a nice plan if we feel like it after we're done with the sightseeing.”

You stay silent before he taunts;

“Don't you?”

Your jaw clenches, “I think you should go if you wanna go so badly.”

He laughs sarcastically, “What?”

Fuck. You and your mouth. Composing yourself, you shrug before you put down the knife. “Didn't they want to go during the day?”

“Nara told me they will probably go in the afternoon. The heat is supposed to be crazy tomorrow, it's better to go later in the day.”

Of course, she did. Anything so she could go with Jungkook. 

While that little comment sounds bitter in your mind, you do know Nara wants him to go. And you should not feel angry or annoyed at it. Maybe that's not why you're annoyed at it at all. It's simple knowing that Jungkook wants to go. 

So forcing yourself to smile, you get the courage to stare him in the eyes. “You go if you wanna. I've got plans in the afternoon.”

Silence. For a split second. 

“What?”

Another follows and you wet your lips as you shrug. “I'm going out with Gabriel.”

Well, he doesn't know it yet. He's waiting but you're guessing he will be more than glad to skip the water park. If he doesn't, that's going to be incredibly embarrassing for you and your ego.

Jungkook tongues his cheek, looking away as he scoffs silently. But the overbearing silence makes it ten times louder. “I see.”

“Jungkook–”

“Is this how it's gonna be?”

You gulp, “What do you mean?”

“We came here to spend time together but we spend it separately? Is that how desperately you want me gone?”

“Jungkook!”

He lifts his hand up, the point finger up as he motions for you to be quiet. “I'm going for a walk.”

“You don't have to–”

You don't get to finish it, he brushes past you and is gone before you can take another breath. 

One of the worst habits you possess is the need to spill out anything that bothers you to someone. That someone is in most cases Jungkook, purely because he gives the best advice and comfort to anyone who needs it. He never judges and he just… gets it. He's that person you come to and can tell him anything, somehow the words he says or his mere presence is helpful enough.

For clear reasons he's not available – nor would he be suitable since he's the main reason why you're bothered in the first place. You're the one who messed up. For a moment you wondered whether you should go after him, to talk it out like any healthy person would do. But once you got out of the door, he was nowhere and to be walking alone around the Island with no one by your side is not something you wish to risk. Even though it seems to be safe here, you know he wouldn't be happy if he came back and you weren't here.

Or maybe he wouldn't care. 

You would like to think he would. It's still Jungkook. No matter how many times you fight or there's tension, it's still him. But it feels wrong to count on this all the time, even though it's basic knowledge.

Sure, you've got other friends. 

You wouldn't want to include Maya here. Purely out of knowing what her response might be – you've got to be a little selfish here because you know that's not something you want to hear right now. Anyway, she's probably planning her wedding or spending time with Namjoon. It feels rather awkward to be reaching out just because you find yourself in trouble. By your own responsibility.

But right after Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung came. 

Jimin is someone who gives you the hard truth, sometimes even scolds you but with the greatest intention. That's not something you need right now either way.

And Taehyung?

He makes everything look easy with the way he sees the world and particular problems. There is barely any problem in his world. He says fuck it on most things with his optimistic persona. He simply just doesn't care. 

Therefore, he's the safer choice than Jimin.

Luckily, once you call him and he's alone, you briefly mention the issue here. You kept it safe for your own sake or selfishness. However, you didn't have to mention anything because he questioned Jungkook's absence right after he complained about Jimin and the fact he brings his girlfriend almost everywhere.

When even Taehyung is silent, you're glad you've chosen a phone call instead of a video one. 

“So, let me get this straight… you go to Hawaii together but you're about to spend it separately?”

“Well–just tomorrow afternoon. I didn't think it's such a big deal.”

“But you purposely encouraged him to–I don't even know how to call it–go and find fun somewhere else?”

You gulp, regretting now that Taehyung's words bite you in the ass. He's right though. “We met this group of girls and–I didn't want him to focus on me only. I want him to have fun.”

Okay, that's half of the truth but it works. You did more for yourself than for Jungkook, naively believing that it will be better for him. But that backfired and it seems he doesn't feel like it's better for him.

“And didn't it get through your pretty head that maybe, just maybe, he wants to have fun with you?”

“Tae–” you sigh.

“Not that kind,” You can tell he has rolled his eyes. “He just wanted you two to have fun in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't think with his dick when he wanted you to go.”

“I didn't say that.”

“I know, I'm just saying.” he hums, “Maybe he feels rejected?”

“What? You think so?”

“I think Jungkook has had a lot planned for the two of you and he imagined he would spend it with you. Not with both of you having fun with someone else, instead with each other.”

“I thought it's better this way.” you mumble. 

Silence follows and you're not sure whether Taehyung heard or not, but you hear his soft sigh on the other end. “You do your thing tomorrow and he will do his. Or just spend the afternoon the way you wanted, just with each other.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Because it is.”

“Tae, we were invited. I was asked for lunch–or dinner–whatever.”

“So? Fuck anyone else,” There it is. “Anyway, is the girl hot?”

“What.”

Taehyung laughs, “The girl that so seemingly goes after our Jungkookie.”

“I never said she's going after him.”

“You didn't have to, babe. It's clearer than Jimin's questionable choice of a girlfriend.”

“You're being rude, leave Jimin and his girlfriend alone.”

He snorts, laughing as you join. “I would ask you to send me pictures of the girls, but I kinda don't want to. I would regret not being there.”

“Can you not think with your dick when your friend here is in crisis?” you mutter.

“You got yourself there, hun.”

“You're not helping.” you grit through your teeth, hearing him laugh.

“Look, just talk to him. You guys communicate well. Well–it's bumpy these days but you got it.”

“How's your leg?” you ask instead, listening to Taehyung's complaints while your mind is elsewhere.

When Jungkook doesn't come within an hour, you're seriously starting to get worried. He has left in a hurry, therefore has forgotten his phone that mockingly sits on one of the small tables. Even though he's a man, you're worried for his safety no matter how safe this Island seems to be. 

Just as you're about to grab your things and go search for him, the door clicks open and there he is. 

Head low and almost looking like a kicked puppy, you debate whether to jump on him to hug him or slap him for making you so worried. If the roles were reversed, there's no doubt that he would search the entire Island for you. And that's not exaggerating at all. 

Yet, you stand there – waiting for him to look up and be stopped by the glare you're giving him across the room.

“Where the hell have you been?”

You're angry. More at yourself than anyone else, but him scaring the shit out of you comes handy at the moment. 

You know that defeated look. You both hate fighting. It's crazy you've never been through such hard times in terms of fighting than you have in the past year. Sure, looking at it optimistically, you've learned to communicate better. Sometimes. 

Not particularly now. And you know some of it is mostly your fault now. 

Being honest means much more than just that. 

However that once mentioned defeated look is long gone. As soon as that tone and words leave your mouth, he glares at you with those intense dark eyes. 

It doesn't matter that you sound like a mother scolding his son for coming home late. 

“I went for a walk.” he says calmly, but there's something on the tip of his tongue. And his face says it all. I told you that.

You scoff. Before anything else can be said, he simply walks past you and you watch at the spot he just stood at in complete disbelief. 

“That's it?”

“What else do you want me to say?” he offers, giving you I don't give a fuck attitude as he plops on the couch and stretches his legs on top of the table.

He grabs his phone and scrolls down through his notifications. He must know he forgot it here. There's no way he doesn't know now. But there's no sight of realization or anything. He simply seems like he doesn't care.

Not about that and certainly not about you stomping to the room. 

“Are you serious now?”

He looks up from his phone, moving only with his eyes and you're stunned for a second. He's waiting. 

“If I stormed out like that, you would give me hell for it!” you scold him.

“I told you I went for a walk. We both needed to cool off.”

You fumble over your words and try to make sense of them. 

His eyes say it all. It looks like you haven't.

“Yeah, without your phone and you were gone for an hour!” 

You watch him stare at you for a moment, sighing as he tosses his phone on the couch. “I'm sorry.”

The surprise on your face is evident. 

“I forgot it. Didn't realize I was gone for so long.”

Well, an hour isn't so long but yeah, it felt like it. Especially the way he left.

You relax, a soft puff of breath leaving your lips before you nibble onto them with your teeth. You come closer, your knee resting against the armrest. 

“I will cancel on Gabriel.”

He frowns, almost confused why would you do that. For a split second you feel embarrassed. 

“So we can spend more time together.” you elaborate further. 

“You don't have to do that out of pity or whatever.” he points out.

This is stupid. You're stupid.

“I'm not doing it out of–”

“Besides, I have a few plans throughout our stay here. Starting from tomorrow.”

“What,” you deadpan, hating the weird pressure and intuition that rises every second until he proves it right.

“I arranged it with Nara.”

It's dead silence for a moment. You're letting the information sink in until you breathe out in even bigger disbelief.

“What,” It's quiet, almost painful before you glance at his phone. “Your phone stayed here.”

“Met her during my walk.”

Oh, and she so accidentally appeared right where you were, huh?

He's not looking at you, staring at nothing in particular with a distant gaze. 

“So let me get this straight–” You hold yourself together so you don't burst in anger. “You make a scene for not spending this vacation together and now you just make plans throughout it without me?”

You realize it's mostly said from your point of view and you fucked up, but him accepting it is even more defeating than anything else about this.

“As far as I know, you made plans too. Isn't this a good way of meeting new people?”

He's throwing it back at you. Clenching your jaw, you painfully swallow as you nod. “I see,” you mock his words, “You're right.”

And you walk out of the room – not knowing whether you should strangle him or yourself first. Only time can tell.

It's safe to say that sometimes your intention escalates and creates a new wave of something that can hardly be described positively. A part of you blames yourself for opening your mouth, even though your own intention behind it was not wrong. It wasn't supposed to cause any of this.

Already embarrassing as it is, having to lay next to Jungkook throughout the entire night has been another level. You've been tossing around, wondering if he's doing the same whenever you fall asleep for a few minutes until you're awake again. Seems like he's not particularly doing bad, but once again, there's an argument between you that has been maybe talked about, but definitely not solved. 

You stick to your plans that have been planned out for most of the day. You've gone sightseeing, fed rescued animals and even visited local museums. Basically, done activities where other people mostly talked and you both listened – you were just there. Standing next to each other, walking beside each other but if it wasn't for these facts, some might think you were strangers.

And that thought that randomly crossed your mind hurt. 

But you're just as stubborn. 

This is for the better. Sure, you should probably make a mend, it would definitely make things easier and better. But you will try to focus on other people as well. Being with Jungkook alone on this vacation – well, it's not like you have many opportunities to focus on anything else.

But that could change. And it can change. 

It's for the best. You both got distracted. Preferably with each other. 

So when the time comes, you both end up at the beach nearby the beach house you're staying at. However, this time it's for you to get separated and each go your own way. Gabriel's friends are already there, wearing their swimsuits and covering it with thin layers of clothing. And then there's Gabriel as well.

You texted him, agreeing to the dinner but proposed to meet sooner. The truth is, you couldn't be alone at the house knowing where Jungkook is. It would eat you alive to be alone with your thoughts of blame and regret. 

You have no idea where you will be going, perhaps more sight-seeing but you hope Gabriel has something planned out at the last minute. Sight-seeing reminds you of Jungkook as well, since you've spent your entire morning until midday.

You have not spoken ever since you came back. You both showered and changed clothes, here you are. Perhaps you've spent more time on your make-up. Your skin is glowing, covering everything that is laying beneath much deeper.

Summer dress with slightly low cut cleavage felt like the right choice. It's perfect for day time, could be great for night time as well and most importantly, you're not trying to look overly hot. This dress is practical. 

And you have no idea what's up with men and summer dresses because you feel like you attract men's eyes as soon as they can make out your figure. Gabriel is speechless, though he's grinning and doesn't fail to give you a compliment. 

Before you know it, Jungkook and Gabriel's friends bid you two a goodbye. Well – mostly Gabriel's friends because Jungkook is awfully quiet and doesn't even spare you a glance as he chats with Nara. 

Jaw clenched, you turn around and smile widely at Gabriel. “So what's the plan?”

“Mm, don't kill me but I thought we could get a snack or something, wait–have you eaten?”

“I have,” 

During lunch time with Jungkook. No matter how intense it seems to be between you, he still made sure you've eaten something. It's hard to be mad at him. But one memory of what happened just seconds ago is enough to make your features harden, just like your heart does.

“Have you?”

“I have,” he answers, “Cool, we can go to that dinner I promised you.”

You give him a slight chuckle, both of you walking nowhere specific. 

“But maybe we could go to the water park as well?”

“What,” you stop, chuckling nervously. The whole point of going out was not to be in Jungkook's presence. “The others just left.” You point behind you, pretty sure they are no longer there. 

“I kinda hoped we would go there alone.”

You give him a look, causing him to grin as he shakes his head. “Nothing creepy, I swear. Is it bad that I want you all for myself?”

“You will give me creeps if you continue to speak to me like that.” 

He grabs his chest, pretending it hurts there. “Ouch. Is it always so hard to charm you?”

You look away, shrugging. “Not always.”

At least you didn't lie. 

Best way to distract yourself is to do something. Anything that can't help you from thinking, or even overthinking. You give Gabriel that. Even though he has no idea he indirectly helped you and made your day better, attractions are a good way to just enjoy the presence. You allow yourself and your mind to be present with him. 

You laugh and nicely enough, Gabriel is sweet and keeps his hands to each other. He doesn't give you creepy vibes – you're not sure if you wanted him to. He's polite, gentleman and funny. Everything anyone would like to see in a guy you're spending time with. 

You talk, filling almost every second and moment with words. And yet, still somewhere rooted inside you, you keep looking around, hoping you won't meet Jungkook. Possibly see something you don't want to. You want him to have fun. 

But deep inside you feel like you've pushed him to do this. It's stupid. You proposed something. You never forced him to do anything. But just because it hasn't been done directly, doesn't mean the outcome is not the same. 

And you do it again. So you go to the first attraction you see, the water ride. You take Gabriel's hand, pulling him towards it until you're seated and drenched in water. After you're done, you both laugh at each other's appearance.

“I wonder if they sell towels here.” Gabriel says, praising himself for wearing slippers instead of actual shoes. His shirt is drenched, showing some of his abs. But you're respectful, you're not looking. 

“It's hot, we'll be dry in thirty minutes.” you laugh, squeezing more water from the rim of your dress. It falls down your legs. 

“True–how about–”

“Gab? What are you guys doing here?” 

Coming from the side, you both glance at the way where one of the girls walks with the entire group of Gabriel's friends behind her. Great.

All you hear is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. He must be around here but you don't dare to let your eyes travel further.

“We wanted to try some of the attractions too.” Gabriel answers as if it's not a big deal. 

Although he's met with some confused looks from his friends, they're not overly judgy and you get them. None of you mentioned going here before. 

“You could've gone with us. Oh god, did you guys just go on this ride? We went there first, you should've seen us! Actually–Nara and Jungkook just went there like ten minutes ago and–” She starts looking behind her, pointing in that direction but she doesn't have to. 

Your eyes naturally find him there. Walking, unbuttoned shirt that is drenched similarly to your dress. The difference is that you can see his skin, a few droplets here and there as the sun shines on his tanned skin.

“We did–I wanted Y/N for myself, is that so bad?”

And that's when Jungkook looks up, undoubtedly catching Gabriel's words and your stare as well. Seconds pass by and someone keeps talking, but you don't pay attention. Jungkook's eyes travel down your figure before a slight frown settles on his face. 

Looking down, and you hate that you do, you follow his line of vision. The outline of your breasts is visible, nowhere near explicit to the point where anything is visibly clear, but even the slightest perks of your hardened nipples can be noticeable if one truly looks there. This dress doesn't require a bra, the material around that area is thick enough. 

When you were picking this dress, you weren't counting on getting it wet by any means. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, Jungkook stares directly at you this time. Something about his gaze is so intense that you're not sure whether you're naturally nervous or aroused. Fuck. 

“We were just about to get frozen yogurt, you guys wanna join? We'll leave you alone, I promise.” Matt, one of their friends jokes, causing all of them to chuckle just to tease Gabriel. 

Gabriel is not a shy person. He rolls his eyes playfully at them, ignoring them right after before he looks down at you. He's taller than you, not as tall as the man who stands across you and you feel his eyes on you. It burns. 

“What do you say? Frozen yogurt?”

Frozen yogurt is the least of your worries right now. The right thing would be to refuse and come up with some kind of excuse, maybe trying the good old I wanna try more attractions. Just so you could finally escape the burning gaze that is ten times hotter than the sun above your heads. 

But the annoyance that slowly simmers inside you, followed by Jungkook's unpleasant face, changes your mind. Lips stretching into a wide smile, making sure Jungkook sees it and hears you loud and clear. 

“Sure, frozen yogurt sounds great.” Delightful, you want to say. 

The others cheer, clearly happy to have Gabriel join them. You see Matt throwing his arm around Gabriel's shoulders, teasing him, undeniably about you as Gabriel shakes his head and with laughter pushes him away. 

“You havin' fun?”

Jungkook walks next to you, looking ahead and not giving you one last glance. His jaw is clenched and you smile, amused and pleased even. 

“Are you?”

“Wonderful,” he mutters.

“Good.”

“Good.”

Scoffing, you open your mouth but before any remark can make it out of your mouth, a woosh of coldness and pressure causes you to stop in your tracks. Most of it is blocked by Jungkook whom you manage to see turning his back, facing you while he shields you from the impact before your eyes are forced to shut.

The nearby attraction has splashed you, a few more people being a victim of it as they either laugh, curse or freeze in shock. Even your newfound friends who have managed to avoid the splash, gasp in surprise as they stare at the two of you. 

You're fully drenched, every inch of you covered in water as you can feel it drip down your dress. So much for being dressed nicely. 

“Oh my god, are you guys okay?” Gabriel asks, walking over to you.

Though you look up at Jungkook, who stares at you before his eyes drop down to your chest. You know his stare is not an act of lust, more of acknowledgment you should make. You don't have to look. You feel it. 

Your arms cover your breasts, turning to Gabriel to respond to him. However before you're able to utter a single word, you feel a soft touch of hand over your lower back. 

“We have to change clothes.”

“I saw a stand with some clothes where the kids' attractions are.” Nara tries to help, pointing in the left.

Jungkook ushers you to move before you can get drenched any more than you already are. Stupidly, you let him and you hate how you enjoy his hand on you. Maybe it has something to do with Nara watching. 

There are no words said as soon as you distance yourselves from the rest of the group, leaving them up to their activities while there's a suffocating air surrounding you. The burning weather has nothing to do with it this time.

You watch Jungkook pick random shirts and shorts once you get to the stand. The older man who sells it tells you that this happens pretty much often, that's why there are a lot of towels and clothes for sale. Of course, it always has a Hawaiian theme or a water park one. You let Jungkook interact with the seller while you linger behind him, offering him a soft smile in return because that's all you can do. 

“There is a changing room with a restroom around the corner. It's more to the side, so it's not much crowded, in case the lady needs more privacy.” he advises nicely.

Smiling one last time, Jungkook briefly nods as he follows the man's directions and leads you to the mentioned changing room.

He forgot to mention it's a single room. You can still hear screams and laugh from the side, but it's more isolated right now. You get inside, scanning the room. It's spacious. There are hangers on the wall, a basic bin and a sink. A huge mirror is spread across the one wall, the lighting is shitty though. The light bulb weirdly glitches but there is no weird smell in here. You hate public bathrooms, especially at water parks. 

Surprisingly, there's not much water on the floor. The man was right. There are not many people who use this changing room. You've seen a couple of them when you were walking with Gabriel, but you haven't thought much about it. It sort of makes sense now.

The door clicks behind you, causing you to look across your shoulder. “Umm, where are you going?”

Jungkook looks up, brows frowning as he grows slightly offended by the question. “To change?”

His own question holds an attitude and you just stare in bewilderment for a moment. But when he doesn't move an inch, stubbornly standing his ground, you frown as well. 

“Can't you wait?”

“Can't you wait?”

You scoff, almost laughing how childish this situation is. When Jungkook is mad, he can get slightly childish or let you feel all the nice things he does for people, until he stops it just to get petty. Not that you can't complain. You do the same things. 

However, you use your mouth much more than he does. He's more subtle with it. 

“I was here first.”

It's childish, you know it, yet you still point out when you're not sure how to react in the first place. Jungkook laughs under his breath.

“I wanna get out of these clothes as much as you do. Let's turn around and not look at each other.” he proposes, thinking that's the problem. 

Little does he know you could care less if he sees you naked or whatever. You hate the way the water drips down his body, the ends of his hair picking up all the water until it slowly drops and it does the same thing seconds later. You hate how his tan body peeks through the opened button-up. 

He's here. Yet it seems like he's never been further since you came to Hawaii.

All of this is stupid. You've been through much worse back home and you were able to make up.

But there's a lot of stubbornness and until you get there, you'll have to get through this somehow. 

“You think that's the problem?” you question, seeing him giving you a confused look as he starts taking off his button-up. 

He turns around to the sink, squeezing any water access he can from it. You don't move. You just shamelessly stare as he completely unbothered continues to do what he came here to do.

How dare he? Your self-consciousness mocks you.

“And what's the problem here exactly?”

He doesn't even spare you a glance, continuing to squeeze his completely scrunched up shirt.

“Are you seriously asking that?”

“I asked, didn't I?”

You scoff, ready to pounce on him. Not the good kind. 

“There's a thing that's called space.”

The double meaning sits in the air, yet he doesn't look perplexed by it. For all you know, he doesn't even notice it as he bluntly continues his task. It pisses you off. 

“There's enough space between us.” he simply says.

Your chest squeezes, causing you to purse your lips for a second as you breathe out. “You can't be serious right now.”

“I'm not even looking at you,” he scoffs, “I'll just change my clothes and I'm out of here. If you wanna just stand there and wait, you're free to do that.”

The audacity of this man is beyond the words. Is this how payback feels like?

“Oh, got it. You're eager to get out of here.” So you can get back to Nara, you want to add but decide not to. You would sound like a jealous bitch.

Somehow, Jungkook seems to get the hidden meaning behind it, almost as if he could hear your thoughts from out here. He chuckles, it's just the amused look he gives you that barely lasts a second, but it leaves you breathless and all exposed. 

The dress clings to your skin, you want nothing more than to take it off. You don't dare to move though. 

“May I remind you it's you who wanted me so eagerly to be out there?”

It's like you speak in riddles, yet you both know the exact meaning of them. You both don't dare to say it out loud. 

Getting tired of it, but mostly letting out the anger that you mainly hold for yourself, but for the man in front of you as well, you take an angry inhale of breath. 

“What exactly is it that you want, Y/N?” His voice rings loudly in your head, even though there's nothing loud about his tone.

Shakingly breathing out, you quietly point out; “You can't be fucking your best friend, Jungkook.”

The emphasis on your relationship is clear, though all Jungkook does is chuckle under his breath, scoffing. He throws his shirt into the sink, walking up to you. Your breath catches, though you can't almost anticipate once he's close to you. He stops, just centimeters from touching you. You can smell his faded cologne sticking to his skin and you almost crumble. 

“What if I wanted to?”

“Jungkook–”

“You always make a decision without talking to me. It is yours, I respect it,” He stops for a brief moment. He stares your face up and down. “What exactly are you so scared of?”

And the fear comes rushing to you, mainly located in your chest as your hands flinch to squeeze it. You remain standing there, not being able to look him in the eyes. His eyes are on you, you feel every inch of them, the proximity they shine. 

“This is ridiculous.” You try to move past him but he stops you. 

“It is,” he agrees, “Is this about sex?”

“It's not just about that!” you argue, voice hushed and almost scandalized that you're having this conversation in public. You only hope there's no one standing outside, able to hear you. 

You heard Jungkook locking the door, but still – there might be people waiting. 

“I know you,” he says silently but clearly. “I know there's something going on inside that pretty head of yours that you're not telling me.”

“Stop.”

“Are you in love with me?”

You gasp, “What? No!” you push him, palms against his chest but he holds you by your wrist, amused by your sudden outburst.

“So why are you so adamant on pushing me away? All of a sudden, may I add?”

He's asking all the right questions and you despise it at the moment. 

“You can't be fucking me forever, Jungkook. It must've ended at some point.”

“Oh–and you just decided on it without talking to me?” he scoffs, “You just randomly pushed me onto some random chick.”

“If I remember, you're willingly spending your free time with this random chick.”

He grins, though there's nothing genuine about it. It's fueled with cockiness. 

You might realize there's more to Jungkook's reaction. You suddenly start to understand why he's maybe hurt by your sudden twist of emotions. While you never came out of the wrong place, at least your intentions never did, you might understand what his problem is.

He expected you to communicate with him about it. He might be right about that, but you also had your own reasons and yes, maybe you fucked up and it didn't go as planned, but you won't take the blame for all of it. 

It's hard to focus on it though, especially when there's unspoken annoyance and anger dancing around you two. 

“It was your suggestion.” he states matter-of-factly.

One, you regret.

He lets go of your wrists, but not before rubbing it softly with his thumbs. It's a minor detail, one you almost don't notice but it would be a total shame if you would. 

“With a good intention.” 

“And what's the intention?” he asks right away, tone slightly more defensive. “Huh?”

You open your mouth but nothing comes out of it.

Exactly – Jungkook's face says it all.

“To push me away? Because you're too scared to communicate?”

Jungkook's annoyance comes mostly out of this. You've used to communicate and talk about everything. And that brings you to the point. Things have changed. There are minor details, perhaps even more minor than Jungkook's faint touch of affection he gave to your wrists just now. But in these kinds of situations you can perfectly see them. 

Does he not see it?

“Fine,” you spit out, “You want me to communicate? I will.”

“About time!” he exclaims.

“I want you to meet new people. Be open to meeting new people.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he grimaces. 

“You can't be open to meeting someone when you're fucking me the entire time!” you exclaim back, chest heaving as he looks taken back.

That's all gone as his brows furrow. “That's not your decision to make. When I'm ready to meet someone, I will.”

“That's not what I meant–”

“Really? Because that's all I could gather. If I wanted to be single for years, I easily could and that has nothing to do with you.”

Ouch.

“I know–”

“Do you?” he asks. “Because to me it seems like you don't get it. If you didn't wanna have sex with me so badly, you could've just easily called it off. For the hundredth time anyway.” he mocks the last part.

That's where you gasp and come up to him, invading his space. He doesn't seem to mind.

“But you wanted it, didn't you?”

He taunts you, even though you're in his face, looking angry as ever – he remains calm and has all the control.

“A part of you still wants it. That's why you can't see me with Nara–”

“That's not about her.”

“Is it not?”

“No. I told you to meet people. That's all I wanted, don't you remember?”

He scans you for a moment. “So we're at this point where we can fuck whoever we want?” 

Fuck. You did not expect him to ask this. Nor did you expect to get to this point. You led him to it. You are the reason why he's asking this. You don't blame yourself for this, it's a simple fact. It will happen sooner or later. 

So why the fuck there's an answer caught in your throat?

“Do you want that?” he continues. “I promised you we would go here as friends. No sex. Anything.”

Your throat feels dry, painfully dry that it even hurts to swallow. There's nowhere to escape. There's an imaginary spotlight set on you, Jungkook's determined gaze making up for it. 

“We agreed to come here as friends.”

“That's not what I'm asking.” His response comes quickly.

He stares at you, searching your face for something unknown and you shift under his gaze, causing your own eyes to trail somewhere else. You can't hold eye contact. He waits. But when he doesn't get anything in return, he simply scoffs or chuckles under his breath – you can't tell – and takes a few steps away from you.

His shorts go next, he takes them off and tries to squeeze any excess water. 

“I just wanted you to–I thought it would be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new. It wasn't supposed to come out as pushy or anything.” you murmur gently under your breath. 

He stops for a brief moment, not moving. “How about talking to me next time, yeah?”

You nod, though you're not sure if he sees it. He's not even looking at you. Brows pinched in together, you watch him continue with his task. 

“Noted.” You drop your head low.

“If you want to fuck someone else so badly, just tell me.”

“That's not–” Your reaction comes fast. Eyes wide and mouth open, you shake your head. “You think–”

“Don't you?” he almost accuses you. 

“You think I–” You make air quotes with your fingers, “pushed Nara on you because I wanna fuck someone else?”

“I no longer know what I think.”

“If I wanted to do that, I would.” You assure him, comically using the same words he has used not that long ago. It's the truth. 

“Good to know.”

“Good,” you exclaim. “I guess we can both agree that we're capable of doing what we want.”

“Are we?” 

Your mouth slightly opens. “Huh?”

“Are we capable of doing what we want?”

The shorts join his scrunched up shirt in the sink, knowing Jungkook will wash the hell out of it once he gets back. He loves to do his laundry. But that's besides the point. 

What matters is how Jungkook inches closer to you, his eyes eating you up and noticing you haven't shredded a single piece of clothing. You catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror. Your pupils wide, an expectation screaming out of them while your skin remains wet. Trails of water trailing down between your breasts. 

He follows it before his eyes slowly go up until they meet yours.

“Perhaps it's a curse or talent, but one look at you and I can already tell where your mind's at.”

He doesn't make you feel pathetic. He simply comments but finds some sort of enjoyment in it. The male's ego is never truly gone and you wish you could crash it, verbally using your mouth as you're good at it. It doesn't matter that his implication is true – it doesn't matter you both know it. You would fight and argue, just to compete his ego with your own. 

It seems like you're not able to this time. 

“Yeah? And where's your mind at?” you try to sound unbothered, but the way your chest slowly starts to heave up completely betrays you.

“At the same exact place where yours is. Unlike you, I'm not ashamed to say it out loud.”

He backs you to the counter, nowhere near touching you – yet he does it with a single stare and has you exactly where he wants you. The tip of your toes almost touch, his figure hovering over yours.

Gulping, you try to play it cool. “Go on then. Tell me.”

He chuckles, it's soft but holds amused darkness that's wrapped around his cords. “If you insist.”

You don't. But you play into this fake illusion of not knowing what he's talking about. Just a pure excuse to try and prove him otherwise. To be honest, you might be curious about what he has to say. Jungkook has a good judgment for a character – when it comes to you. That obviously does not apply to his exes.

“I'm supposed to be somewhere else, physically and mentally, but here I am thinking of different ways of having you.”

You stop yourself just in time not to gasp out loud, showing him a vocal reaction other than your heart picking up its pace just at the single thought of it. Let alone having to hear him confess that. 

Clearing your throat, you try to straighten your posture but end up brushing against his chest. You do your best at ignoring it, staring him straight in the eyes. “And that's what I want?”

Don't lie to yourself, the little devil of your consciousness ironically laughs. Of course you know all of this, you just have this urge to prove him otherwise and crush that confidence he has within himself. 

“Please, you're already salivating just from the thought of it.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you argue: “No, I am not.”

“Tell me,” he cocks his head to the side. “Would you rather bend over the counter or sit on it?”

He sounds nothing but curious, not even feeding to your delusions of him being out of touch with reality. Only he is not. 

“You're an idiot.” you breathe out, trying everything to sound scandalized or offended. You would be able to fool if it was anyone else. But not him.

“For speaking the truth?”

“You're saying it as if I would want that. Listen to what I'm saying.”

He chuckles, shaking his head lightly. “Words are irrelevant when your eyes practically beg me to touch you.”

You know he chose a lighter version of what he would initially say. He wants to be way more explicit, but you're both dancing on the edge.

“You think you know everything when it comes to me.” It sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth. He doesn't appear to be offended because you both know how much he truly knows you. 

To bring this conversation to a different topic, he chooses to ignore it and simply smiles. 

“So if I were to do this–” He lightly touches the side of your neck, wrapping his hand carefully around it. You inhale shakily, not being able to control it. “Would you tell me to stop?”

He gently massages your pulse that moves under his thumb, watching goosebumps appear on your soft skin. His hand is gone before you can blink, but is soon replaced by his fingertips tracing down your neck, past your collarbone until they stop at top of your breasts. 

“Hm?”

You're not able to react. Your chest heaves, a glare fixated on him but no sound comes out of your mouth. He has you. Wrapped around his fingers, proving his point. Because of his ego and confidence, you know he's proving it to you rather than to anyone else. He can be that annoying. 

Close to leaning toward his touch, the tip of his fingers play with the hem of your dress, occasionally and very faintly touch your skin. His other hand goes down, playing at the fabric of where your dress ends. It goes up, fabric gathering over his wrist. You shudder, mentally begging him to do more.

As if he could read your mind, his eyes look up without having to move his head, dark sinister spark in them. When he doesn't see you protesting, merely making sure of your current state, he does not waste a second and pulls the top hem of your dress. Revealing your breasts, he sucks in breath at the perked nipples. His hold on the dress tightens and within seconds, his mouth is wrapped around your nipple.

“Fuck.” you moan, throwing your head back as you arch into him.

He's like a starving man, perhaps he is from the stupid condition you've made up, but so are you. The other hand grasps the back of your thigh, molding his fingers into your skin as if he wants to leave as many imprints as he can. 

Teeth grazing your teeth, he wraps his hand around your neck once more and makes you look at him. You just stare at each other, not an ounce of shame written on your faces. Your noses touch, your mouth already opened as small gasps similar to moans escape. You beg him to kiss you. 

He doesn't. 

Instead, he drops down to his knees and before you know it, his hands disappear underneath your dress and shamelessly pull down your only piece of underwear. Once that's done, he hoists up your leg over his shoulder and dives in right away. You can barely grab the edge of the sink counter and balance yourself on it, before his mouth is on you. 

“Jungkook–”

You swear you hear him chuckle, but you're too distracted by the shots of pleasure he's attacking you with. He shows no mercy. Fingers wrapped in his hair, you tug onto his roots as he moans against you. 

Nobody does it like you. 

While that thought normally scares you, now you're fucking grateful he's the one that's between your legs. 

You come embarrassingly fast, trying to keep yourself silent from moaning and embarrassingly so, you have no idea whether you've succeeded or not. Jungkook fucks you through it with his mouth, stopping just at the right time as he pulls away.

Lips swollen and red, eyes drinking you up, he effortlessly stands up. “Was this anything relatively close to where your mind was?”

It was far dirtier but there's nothing to be disappointed about. When it comes to orgasm and Jungkook, he never disappoints. 

“I can't complain.” you breathe out, watching how he pulls up your dress and covers your breasts to give you at least some kind of modesty. 

It's a single detail, one he never had to do and you never fully noticed – but no matter what, Jungkook always looks out for you. A blunt apology wants to come out, for numerous reasons of the misunderstanding of your own fears and good intentions, but Jungkook takes a few steps back. 

“Change your clothes, I will wait outside.” he says, quickly changing his own before leaving you up to it. 

You turn around, not being able to let go of the counter as you grip it harder and stare at your face. He didn't even go all the way and you look like you've had the time of your life. 

Once again, you and Jungkook have succumbed to your desires and broken the only condition you've had for this vacation. It should leave you disappointed and perhaps you are little, but you're definitely satisfied for the time being. 

At least until you have to walk out of the door and face the storm in the form of your best friend. 

Your knees and hands have stopped buckling by the time you've changed into dry clothes. Nothing screams more than a tourist wearing an oversized shirt with a huge label saying “I love Hawaii”, an image of a red heart replacing the word love. It's something you would've worn to bed to sleep in – or at the beach to cover up the least – not parading yourself in it in public. 

The sense of fashion is the last of your worries or things on your mind though. 

Jungkook has waited outside of the door, guarding it safely. After his sudden leave, you did not lock the door which could be a terrible mistake if Jungkook wasn't there to make sure no one walks in. Somehow, you knew he was right behind that door.

The walk toward the rest of the group is spent in silence. As if his mouth wasn't all over your private areas. The memory of it makes an excitement bubble in your stomach, even though it should probably be at least a hint of some kind of regret. 

You do not regret the act itself. Mostly, it's just you being so weak to prevent it. 

Maya would surely get the baggage off your shoulders, supporting this wild decision. But she just doesn't get it. 

Simple walk to find your newfound friends – or whatever you would call them – makes you miss your real friends. You wonder how things would go if they were here. 

Maybe it's just your stupid naivety of believing that it would be different. No matter what, it seems you and Jungkook always find your way to each other – intimately speaking. 

One thing's for sure. 

Jungkook has confronted you. There's truth to both sides. 

Of course the man can have anyone he points his finger at. It was your foolishness to think this vacation was the perfect chance at it. Selfishly, you might've done it more for yourself than for him. 

And what if you would meet someone as well? 

It would certainly make things easier. The decision would be way easier too.

Gabriel is handsome. Hot and charming. Practically the perfect package for a vacation hook-up. And as much as would be leant toward maybe kissing him at least, you can't do that when Jungkook is right there. 

Once you find them, the mood is sour between you and you're not even trying to hide it. Maybe it's the lack of smile and a big portion of silence that makes them notice it. No one comments on it. In fact, you don't think it's worth being commented on. 

Their positivity and good mood continues to be unaffected.

“We dodged the whole frozen yogurt, heard there are these best waffles somewhere around here with fresh fruit. Wanna go there instead?” Gabriel is the first one to ask, eyes finding your figure as soon as you approach them.

In this heat, sweet food or a snack is the least of your cravings. 

“I'm actually not hungry at all,” you respond, feeling guilty for not being up for this idea. 

Gabriel looks confused for a moment, certainly remembering you were all up for frozen yogurt just a few minutes ago. Like the gentleman he is, he doesn't question you but you can see the questions running inside his head. 

Maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of his friends. 

“The heat is killing me.” you add, trying to save it.

He nods, glancing toward the man next to you who hasn't made a move to… move. “Jungkook?”

“I already had a dessert.” he comments, shamelessly staring at the side of your face.

Eyes almost bulging out, you keep your calm and try to not react. Even though Jungkook has not worded it out weirdly to give anyone a big suspicion, it's you and your guilt that makes it think it's so obvious. You wish you could glare at him, but you know there are eyes on you.

“We stopped by the fruit stand, so we had that on our way here.” you lie, straight through your teeth and even though you could be defined as the worst liar ever, this lie comes out sweet and believable. But it's Gabriel's eyes that continue to stare and watch you like you're the biggest open book. 

Fuck.

“Yeah, the fruit here tastes nice.” Jungkook continues and you do everything in your power not to smack him across that bratty mouth. Mouth you wish you could have kissed. 

You give him a look, but he just cocks his brow at you. “Yeah, Jungkook came up with this idea–”

“Did I?”

You glare at him, “Anyway–sorry, I know we wanted to go there together.”

“It's fine,” Gabriel laughs, “We're still gonna get it. You guys are still going with us, right?”

“Yeah, sure!” you force yourself to smile, joining Gabriel as you feel Jungkook's burning gaze on your back. 

That's until you hear Nara's voice behind you, making a casual conversation between them and diverting his attention elsewhere. 

Once the sun is slowly setting down, you part ways and go back to the beach house in silence. No difference happens once you're inside, just the two of you. 

The past two hours spent with people you've met here felt like a torture. That's what you at least thought until you and Jungkook continued to pass by each other as you two are getting ready. Comically enough, not to go somewhere together but with different people.

He kept his word and accepted Nara's offer to go out tonight. Whether he's doing this to piss you off or because he wants to is unknown to you. Perhaps there was a slight hope that you two would just come to an agreement to cancel and go somewhere together. Even staying inside would be enough.

Once Nara asked Jungkook if their plan is still on and Jungkook so shamelessly confirmed, all the hope left as soon as it came. Gabriel has done the same with you and there was nothing other for you to do, then to agree.

It's a pure comedy. If there was a third person just watching the two of you, they would have the time of their life. Somehow you can imagine Taehyung here, sitting on the couch as he judges you two but stays entertained throughout the entire time.

After taking a shower, you end up doing your make-up in the living room with the smallest mirror you've brought on this vacation. Your previous plan of doing it in the bathroom where there is a massive mirror has failed as soon as Jungkook uttered his need to use the shower as well. 

You're not sure if he's done it on purpose, but he sure as hell took his time there. You're putting on the lipstick when he finally decides to get out of there.

Both of you stop.

He's wearing an all white – button-up with shorts that reach just above his knees. Shorts you didn't even know he owns. He looks elegant, yet casual just for the hot weather even though there's a slight darkness outside. His slicked back hair definitely helps.

Jungkook's eyes fall down on your figure. You're wearing a simple short black dress but the gold necklace and red lipstick adds a pinch of sexiness to it. None of you are overdressed or could win the outfit of the year, yet you can't keep eyes off each other. 

You're the first one to break it, standing up and tidying up your make-up stuff that's all over the table, but not before raising a provocative brow at him. He scoffs as he walks past you without any word, his cologne the only thing left and lingering. Out of his sight, you close your eyes and breathe out the gathered breath in your lungs. 

The two of you leave at the same time, in different directions to different people.

The restaurant where Gabriel has taken you is nice and they have a variety of food on their menu. You have a nice view of the beach and sea which adds points in your imaginary review of this place. You've got to be honest – Gabriel definitely went out his way to invite you here.

He doesn't mention his friend – Nara – not even once and while you're not sure if you want to hear the reminder of her hanging out with Jungkook at the moment, you hope you won't bump into each other. You feel bad. 

You listen and talk to him, but your mind is all over the place. You should've known you won't be able to enjoy tonight if there's someone you've fought with. And with Jungkook out of all people. 

At least the food is nice.

After two hours of good dinner and dessert, and a few glasses of wine, Gabriel decides to walk you back to the beach house. You're not stupid to decline it, especially at night. Before that you decide to take a quick walk down the beach.

“So, what are you saying? Was the dinner that bad?”

You give him a look, chuckling. “Did it meet your expectations of getting to know me?”

Now he's the one who laughs. “Yeah,” he nods. “Kinda makes it hard for me to go back to Italy.”

You raise your brow, smirking. “So you're saying you're not going where I go?”

He laughs at your joke, “I'm thinking of it.”

“Yeah, sure.” you laugh, “One dinner is all it took?”

“You're special.”

And you're more likely looking for a hook-up, you think. You both know there's no future to this. 

“I am special?” you snicker, “Is that what you say to all the girls?”

“Is it working?” he teases.

“Nah, it takes more effort when it comes to me.” 

He stops in his tracks which causes you to do the same. He stares, eyes dropping down your lips and red lights flare in your mind. Knowing what it most likely means, you quickly turn away. 

“Come on, I'm so full I could fall asleep.”

Cringing at yourself, Gabriel follows and doesn't seem to be shaken up from it. He continues to talk and the mood is pretty much loosen up, which has been from the beginning. You had a good time and it went better than you expected it to. 

Gabriel doesn't try to kiss you and you bid goodbye with a casual hug, both of you understanding that nothing will come out of this. 

The lights are on as you open the unlocked door, meaning that Jungkook is already back. It seems like he just came as he came out of the bathroom, surprised to see you there. 

“How was your date?” he asks, looking away from you in a second.

“It wasn't a date.” you clarify which makes him snicker. “What? It wasn't.”

“An Italian guy wants to make plans with you, alone. You might be right, it's not about a date at all.”

You give him an offensive look, “Are you insinuating that all I'm good for is a hook-up?”

“No, don't twist up my words.” He immediately stops your mind to go somewhere his mind doesn't even get close to. “I'm insinuating that a guy from freaking Italy suddenly shows his interest in you, when you live across the world.”

You frown, watching him reach for a glass of whiskey you haven't noticed before. He's not drunk but what he is, is confidently smirking in your face as if he knows everything. Well, he's not too far off. Gabriel wants to have fun and while he seems to be a decent human being, he's not about to move to a country to be with you. You wouldn't expect him to anyway.

“But you're right,” He purses his lips, the rim of the glass almost touching it as he lets out the tiniest chuckle that's supposed to be hidden. “He's probably wanting to marry you.”

He's provocating you. The plans have not turned out the way you both wanted to – but it is what it is. Your curiosity almost kills you and your impatient-self wants to ask him about this date, or whatever it was. This is a game, you realize. 

And you won't let him have that satisfaction of you asking. 

“He wanted to kiss me tonight.” you inform him.

You watch him take a sip, pursing his lips right after as you slowly watch him swallow down the hard liquor. “I'm sure he wanted to do much more.”

Is that a jealousy you hear? 

No one has quite peaked your interest regarding this matter. Judging by Jungkook's confidence, he knows that. 

“Next time I will let him kiss me. Maybe then he will want to marry me eventually.” You give him a false smile, stopping right beside him as he wants you with a clenched jaw. 

Not giving him a chance to respond, you walk away with confident steps into the bedroom. The door closes and your back meets the wood. You can feel your heart in your neck, all the facade of confidence and peace leaves and you softly bang your head against it. 

What you said was completely stupid. You don't want to kiss Gabriel. In fact, the thought of it is nowhere near as exciting as one would expect it to be. Both of you know that the second part was only said to piss him off and prove a point. 

The questions are…

Will you let him kiss you next time?

Did or will Jungkook kiss someone else in here?

The ongoing battle that you're in the middle of has not ended. 

Both sleeping at the very both ends, as far away from each other as possible, has been a good way to start the day. It's not like you expected to cuddle during the night. 

That's not what friends do, your mind wants to say. But you've crossed that line too many times. You're not the typical friends either, that ship has sailed a long time ago. 

You shouldn't have pushed him away. It's too late to take it back. For a moment you think of coming to Jungkook, apologize and somehow talk yourself out of this impossible battle you're in. You're willing to take all the blame for it. 

However, that's all gone as soon as you hear Jungkook calling with who you assume is Nara, his tone sweet and sounding exciting as they make plans for today. You stand there, making yourself a coffee as you try not to listen to their ridiculous conversation. How can you not? 

Jungkook sits right behind you, even if you didn't want to listen – it's impossible for you not to. He knows that. He knows you're listening. You're the one who has come in the middle of their conversation.

The call ends after a minute, your coffee ready but your mind isn't when you turn around and face the devil. You've seen him from the corner of your eyes when you entered the kitchen area, but nothing prepares you for the shirtless Jungkook. His hair isn't messy, he seems to be well put and from the looks of it, he came out of the shower not that long ago. 

He cocks his brow at you, questioning your stare making your features harden. “Having a date today?”

You painfully watch the way the corner of his mouth slowly lifts up as he chuckles. “Careful, you start to sound jealous.”

“Me? Don't be ridiculous,” you scoff, “Where is she from again? Doesn't she live across the world?”

Jungkook features lighten up with pure amusement as you use his words against him. “At least I can admit this is a date.”

“I simply hung out with a guy. We never stated it's a date.” you point out, knowing it sounds silly but Gabriel just wanted to get to know you. You never officially called it a date.

Jungkook stands up, grabbing his empty plate as he gives you another one of his snickers. “Be in denial all you want.”

“You know what?” He raises his brow in question, too close to you as he reaches to put the plate into the sink. “I'm not gonna spend this morning arguing with you. If I wanted it to be a date, I would make it perfectly clear to him.”

He smiles, but there's nothing sweet about it. “A date or a chance for a hook-up. I don't see the difference.”

He does. Jungkook has always been the dating type rather than the hook-up one. Your two friends have taken that label since forever. But obviously, he's not talking about himself. 

Suddenly, the air becomes thick and you stare right into his dark eyes. He's hovering over you, his scent luring you in as his eyes dance across your face. “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

He pulls away, giving you a chance to breathe again as you quickly recover. “Yeah? And what would that be?”

Jungkook grabs his phone and looks at you across his shoulder. “You should meet new people.”

Your mouth opens and you stare for a moment before you scoff, “If I wanted to date, I would already have like hundreds of boyfriends. The same goes if I was looking for a hook-up.”

“Good for you.” he calls out bitterly, leaving you in the kitchen with a fuming gaze and burning heart. 

But you realize one thing. How selfish you've just sounded. Jungkook has told you the same thing. 

If any of you wanted that, you could've easily done so. Yet your reason for saying it to him and what ultimately started this argument, is completely different.

Jungkook is a dick. 

He has left for his date or whatever the fuck it is, and has left you alone in the house even without asking whether you have plans or not. You know your relationship right now is not at its best stage, but little consideration could not hurt. Especially since he's always been caring and considerate no matter how much your relationship has taken a different turn. 

It's one of the reasons why you desperately wanted to move on. Throw your past away and come back to the friendship you've known since the beginning. It leaves you agreeing that your original intention has come from a good place.

Luckily, Gabriel seems to show interest in you, still, after the little rejection you've given him after his attempt to kiss you. He comes to you a little after you come to the beach to just lay there. He's been there with his friends since this morning – at their usual spot. Nara is nowhere in sight and much to your distaste, you know who's she with. 

So once Gabriel invites you to hang out with them, you agree and would rather spend your alone time in a company of many people, than to dwell all alone about your decisions in life. He keeps you entertained and busy, away from your haunting thoughts. Until…

“Nara is with your friend. You know where they went?” 

You sit at a bar, drinking lemonade in this burning weather and you're thankful for the sunglasses you're wearing, so he's not about to see the tiniest roll of your eyes. “No idea. He forgot to mention.”

In the morning which is the last time you've seen him. He just left you to be with another woman, in a foreign country. You know you can call him anytime. Even now – no matter what your relationship looks like, he would be here in a second if you called and needed him. But still – you're mad he just left without saying anything. Deep down you know that's not the only thing that irritates you. 

“Nara fancies him a lot.”

So? You want to say. What are you supposed to do with this information?

“Really?” You're trying to sound surprised. But even Gabriel– who had so little time to get to know you – catches onto the tone and laughs. “It's pretty obvious.” You try to save it by simply stating. 

“She did ask him to go out again today. From what I know, she was never the one who asked someone out.”

“Where does she live again?” you ask, taking a sip off a lemonade trying to quench the fire inside you. 

“Spain.”

“It's not like there's any future to it.”

Gabriel stays silent and just stares, while you continuously take innocent sips. “Actually, Nara has applied for some modeling jobs in Korea.”

He's definitely not talking about North Korea, unfortunately that's unrealistic.

“Oh,”

Well, fuck. This just gave a completely different turn of event.

Considering your luck, she probably applied to your modeling agency as well. Many foreigners do. You just hope no one will mention it. Not to be a bitch, but you can imagine someone asking you to help her to get in. That's beyond your competency. But you could always mention her to Junho.

Oh my god. Jungkook has worked there too. He probably has saved your boss' number. While you think Jungkook wouldn't cross that invisible line you've set, he's always trying to help and save the day.

“Listen, how about I take you out for dinner tonight?”

That's… shocking.

After the last time you ended things, you thought he gave up. But you should've known better. It seems guys like him barely give up.

“What's else for us to do?” he chuckles, not really waiting for an answer but it still comes.

“What do you mean?”

He looks at you, reaching for his drink as his shoulders relax. “Our friends are meeting with each other almost every day.”

The taste of your non-alcoholic drinks becomes bitter on the tip of your tongue, just as much as your mood does. “As far as I know, you've got other friends here.”

“But none of them are you.”

Smooth. The little smirk you give him tells him everything. He's aware of his smooth delivery of compliments. You've got to give it to him – he knows his way around girls. 

It's not like you have anything else to do. Jungkook seems to be busy and does not care what you do here anymore. And Gabriel's company is nice. If it's true what he said about Nara coming to Korea, there's a bigger chance of them making future plans together. And as much as this thought leaves the most bitter taste on your tongue, you'll leave that move for Jungkook to make. 

After all, that's what you wanted for him and who are you to stand in his way. 

Purposely not verbally reacting to Gabriel's flirting, you shrug and lean in your seat. “Dinner sounds perfect.”

Legs resting on top of the coffee table, Gossip Girl plays in the background as you mindlessly pop grapes in your mouth. Maybe you're silently imagining it's Jungkook whom you're crushing between your teeth. 

After spending almost the full day with Gabriel and then the rest of his friends, you've come to the beach house finding it completely empty. It looks exactly where it's left off and you're embarrassed to admit that you've checked Jungkook's things to see if they've moved. And perhaps he was here. They haven't, which only meant one thing – Jungkook hasn't come here yet.

Sooner than later, the door opens and there he is. 

He does not seem surprised to see you there – almost as if he knew you wouldn't be anywhere else. You give him that much satisfaction of looking at him once he arrives, acknowledging his late arrival. You hate what you do but it has its own purpose. And that is the single glare you give him. 

You feel like a mother, silently scolding her child for coming home late. 

He goes for a shower right away and you battle with thoughts of him, erasing the traces of possible sex on his skin. He comes back after a few minutes, wearing just his boxers with wet hair. You want to scold him for walking around like that, but that would be slightly selfish for numerous reasons. Is he torturing you on purpose?

He joins you on the couch, not questioning your choice of TV show as he knows you've previously seen it. As he sits down, you can't hold it back and just come straight to the point. 

“Will you help her?”

Your gaze is focused on the TV screen, but you feel his own burning the side of your face. “Huh?”

“Nara.”

He just stares which causes you to look at him and roll your eyes at him. “She applied for modeling agencies in Korea.”

“Korea is huge,” he says after a moment. “And how do you even know that?”

“Gabriel told me.” You try to not sound too proud.

“When?” he asks confusingly. “She told me just today.”

He's questioning if you've known this information sooner but never told him. 

This time you inform him with a smug face. “He told me today as well.”

The revelation that you haven't spent your day here alone is out. He is unreadable. He just watches you, almost as if he wants to make sure you're not making this up. Too bad for him. You're not making anything up and this time you're not too shy to show how proud you are for it. 

“What? You thought I was here all alone while you went on a date?” 

It's a purposeful jab, one that leads to nothing but disaster but you don't care. You're mad and annoyed. And now he knows why. Yet he doesn't make any effort to make an excuse for himself. 

“You brought him here?” 

First of all – you're not sure what would be so bad about it, even if you brought him here. But then it clicks. Jungkook has his own assumptions and bringing a guy here, while you're all alone could mean different things. Your skin is moisturized and you smell like your shower gel, which means you've left the shower not that long ago.

Perhaps it could be considered as disrespectful if you indeed brought him into a house, Jungkook rented and is a space for you two. You could understand that.

If the roles were reversed and you found out he brought Nara here – well… the thought of it doesn't sit well with you. But what does, when it comes to her?

“No, he asked me out after you so kindly left me here to go on your stupid date.” you huff out, standing up and forgetting about your TV show. The controller is tossed on the couch as you leave without looking at him. 

Your steps lead to the bathroom where there's a slight trace of foggy mirror left after Jungkook's shower. Mentally groaning at the scent of him dominating in the room, you reach toward the sink faucet in a desperate need to freshen up your burning face.

You don't get to turn the water on as Jungkook is in your tracks, a burning gaze aimed at you. “You seemed to have solved it pretty quickly.”

Realizing he meant your accusation of leaving you to go on a date, you scoff. 

“I wasn't about to sit here and sulk, waiting like a dog for you. If that's what you were planning for me to do.”

“I wasn't planning that,” he states, even though he wants to be just as mad for some reason. “I wasn't planning on being out until now.”

“Well, you were!” you exclaim. 

“Sorry.”

“Sorry? Is that all you've got to say?”

He leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. “What am I supposed to say?”

“You know what? Nothing. Say nothing.” you fume, forgetting your dumb purpose in the bathroom anyway as you rush to get past him. But as soon as you get close, his hand around your wrist stops you. 

The touch is electrifying, sadly not in an awful way and you hate how your body reacts to him naturally. “Did you at least have fun?” you scoff.

“Would you be mad if I said I did?”

You almost cry, like a child but the anger inside you is bigger than anything else and you shake his hold on you. “And did you have fun?”

“Lots of it.” you spit the words at him.

You both stare into each other's eyes, the anger screaming out of them and yet the question you want to ask is unspoken.

“Good.”

“Goodnight Jungkook.” you murmur, walking away and quickening up the pace before you can do something you really want to, but would regret later. 

One would think that after yesterday's exchange of pitiful words, you two would have solved it or at least tried to voice the problem here. It seems there is not enough pity and when the two of you want to, you could be the biggest pity bitches.

“Milk?”

Side-eyed look toward Jungkook, having two bowls of cereal ready and awaiting your answer. “I can make myself breakfast.”

“Milk?” he asks through his teeth, causing you to roll your eyes behind his back as you sit down.

“Yes.”

Whether this is his way of saying sorry for yesterday or not  is unknown and you're not about to investigate it. You mutter a silent thank you once the bowl is set in front of you and you two dig into your breakfast without any other sort of conversation. 

The rest of the morning goes like this. One word communication which seems almost like a challenge. Phones are your best friend but both of you are stubborn to talk. You swim in the pool for the first time since you're here, enjoying the sun warming your skin as Jungkook goes for his morning jog and comes back an hour later.

You're playing quiet house, so it seems. 

As the day goes, it's more than clear that both of you have plans tonight. Separate plans. 

Jungkook's phone goes off and he goes inside to take the call, after joining you in the pool. Trying to keep your nerves to yourself, you've had to endure his presence (lack of clothed presence). You went to rest on a beach chair while he swam. PAIN.

It's close to dinner time and you both get ready. Unlike Jungkook, you spend more time in the bathroom to do your hair and make-up, which he so “kindly” reminds you every time he wants to take a shower or goes to grab something there. 

The air is thick and it has nothing to do with the scent of hairspray and your fragrance. 

None of you ask what's your plan for tonight. But both of you can tell. No details though.

“You done here?”

You stop in the middle of putting your lipstick on as you give him a look, “Does it look like it?”

Ignoring the attitude in your tone, Jungkook comes up to the mirror and by doing that, he moves you to the side. He almost causes the lipstick to meet your cheek and you can tell, you almost see a smirk curling his lips. 

“Don't look at me like that. You've been here for a long time.” he says without sparing you a glance.

While you watch from the side with an open mouth and disbelief written on your face, he easily grabs his hair gel and starts doing his own hair. You fume, snatching your make-up bag and stomping away to finish what you haven't had the chance to – thanks to Jungkook. 

By the time you're done, Jungkook has left without saying another word. You haven't even heard him leaving and you feel pathetic as you search him around the house, all while trying to look for something. Turns out there's no one here and he has left. First and again. 

Luckily, Gabriel texts you not that long after and proposes a short walk. He doesn't want to reveal the restaurant location but he had to make a reservation, which already sounds fancy as it is. You're hungry and considering you're not in your best state, still fuming, you decide not to complain. First of all, it's not polite at all.

Gabriel is trying and just because you're in a mood to be a bitch, doesn't mean he's the one who deserves it. At least there's some sort of self-reflection happening. 

And two, maybe it's a good idea to walk around a bit to come to different thoughts. Plus, you will eat more by the time you arrive at the restaurant. 

He has cleaned up nicely, catching female eyes as you walk around for a few minutes. The walk has been short, just enough to make a casual conversation until you arrive.

The restaurant is located on a pier, waiters all wearing fancy white shirts and slacks – a difference from all the shirts with Hawaiian motifs and skin showing. 

As you're led to your table, you notice there's not a single table free and tonight it's fully packed.

“What is this place?” you ask as soon as the waiter hands you menus and leaves after. 

“It's the most famous restaurant on this island.”

Your mouth opens and then it closes again. “Are you insane?”

He laughs, staring at you fondly as if you haven't been too bold with your words. “This is what I like about you.”

“What,”

“Your honesty,” he hums, “It's refreshing. You don't try to woo me.”

“Why would I woo you?” you ask, genuinely curious but again, it comes out a little bluntly which causes him to laugh again. 

“Ouch,” he jokes, holding his chest as you stare at him across the table. “You're in this world to punish men for their overly huge egos.”

You purse your lips, “I'm not in this world for men, first of all.”

“Technically, you are thanks to one.”

Your nose scrunches up which causes him to laugh again. “That's besides the point.”

“So is there anyone who's been trying to woo you instead?”

“Besides you, no. Not at the moment.”

He cracks another laughter, “Touché. I deserved that.”

Giggling, you shake your head at your conversation.

“So tell me–” His words drift away because in the midst of your laughter, you spot someone entering your line of vision.

The world could not be any more cruel at the moment. There they are. 

Jungkook and Nara enter the pier as they're seated by the waiter, just like you were minutes ago. Jungkook, the gentleman he is, pulls out the chair for her as she giggles with a bright smile. Clearly wooed herself by the sweet gesture. 

“You've got to be kidding me.” you mutter so silently, that you're sure Gabriel can't make the words out but it's enough to silence him as he follows your gaze. 

He turns around and lets out a surprised, but light sound. 

“Oh, I guess me and your friend think alike.”

You try hard not to make a sour expression as you clear your throat. “Let's not interrupt them. What were you saying?”

“Is there someone waiting for you? Back in Seoul?”

“I told you, I'm single.” you chuckle.

“I know, but that doesn't mean there's not someone who's ready to fight for you.”

Your fingers stop clicking and you gulp. 

“So you're telling me there's no one in your life? Not even recently?”

It's like he can see there's something on your mind. You decide to come up with half of the truth. It's not like you'll see him again.

“There–It wasn't a relationship, more like a relationship of convenience–”

“So, a hook-up partner, right?”

Lips in a straight line, you hum in confirmation. “Yeah, whatever. We ended it, so it felt like a good decision to come here and just relax. Come to different thoughts.”

Cominically enough, you came here with a person you're currently talking about. The one who's sitting just a few tables from you two.

God, you sound so stupid. Of course, you're not telling Gabriel the whole truth. The purpose of coming here with Jungkook was to enjoy it, strengthen your friendship – the previous one you've had. You had an agreement. 

Somehow, you end up arguing thanks to you and it gets all twisted.

“Well, I know you were supposed to come here with your friends. So I understand why you would do that.”

“It's not just because of that. We were planning this for months. It was supposed to be a friends' vacation.”

He hums in understanding and doesn't get the opportunity to speak, as the waiter comes back and asks for your order. After you've ordered your meal, Gabriel leans back and studies you for a short moment. Just before you're about to ask about his lingering gaze and its purpose behind it, he speaks. 

“You're not really looking for a relationship, are you?”

Your brows shoot up at the unexpected question. For a while, you're not sure how to answer and your face says it all. In the end, you shrug and voice your confusion. “What's with the sudden question?”

“I apologize,” he smiles, “I had to voice my curiosity and I wonder if I was right.”

You lean back, fingers clicking against the table. “I'm not against it. If it comes, I welcome it.”

“Hm,” he hums. “So no hard break-up?”

“Why do you think so?”

“I don't know, there's just something about you that I can't seem to crack.”

“Sometimes some things aren't meant to be cracked.” you tell him, making him smile at the possible truth. 

“Sometimes,” he agrees. “I'm sorry if I seem to be nosy.”

“No, it's okay. Trust me, I win when it comes to curiosity.” you admit with a silent laugh. 

“I travel a lot, so I don't really have enough time to properly date. No woman wants a man who's ten months out of the country out of the year.”

“What do you do again?”

“Content creator.”

“Oh, so you're an influencer?” 

He laughs, “Not really. I do write for a traveling blog.”

“Maybe you'll find someone you can date and travel with.”

“Unfortunately, you don't seem that kind of person.”

You laugh, “I do enjoy Seoul. It's home by now.”

It doesn't take a genius to realize that the only contact he gets through women is mostly by hooking-up. Though, by the look of it it seems that maybe he's longing for something more stable and serious. 

“You know, this time I'm here for a good vacation. No work. No writing.”

“That's great. I'm assuming all that traveling is tiring.”

“It is. I enjoy it and I love my job. But I came here to maybe come to new thoughts.” he explains. 

The waiter brings you your food shortly after. There's no awkward silence during eating, you keep a slightly lighter conversation as Gabriel remains nothing but a gentleman. You would lie if you said you're purposely focusing your gaze on the plate, rather than on Gabriel fearing your eyes would wander somewhere they should not. 

You don't care. Maybe they noticed you and clearly decided not to interrupt you as well. Or maybe there's still that awkward awaiting of them noticing. Sipping on a drink, in a hope it will bring you to different thoughts and help you relax a little bit more. 

The reason for your slight discomfort doesn't need to be named. 

“You assumed, I've been through a break-up. Why?” you ask, curious as he seems taken back.

“I asked more than assumed,” he corrects. You don't seem to be buying that statement but remain silent. “At first I thought you're not interested in me, particularly. But I get a feeling you're just not interested in general.”

“Why's that?”

Yes. He might be right. You're not necessarily trying to search for someone. But you don't get a feeling as if you were against it.

“Let me be bold here.”

“Please.” you encourage him.

“There are men who can't keep their eyes off you. And I simply noticed by spending time with you.”

You give him a doubtful look which he quickly disregards by shaking his head.

“Men are men.” you simply tell him.

He makes a disapproving sound. “There are hundreds of women at the beach, but the majority of them stare at you.”

“Okay, now you're just giving me a compliment.”

“I am not,” he laughs gently, “I could but I guess it is a compliment when there are men thirsting over you.”

“Like I said. Men are men. They're thirsting over anything that wears a bikini.”

“That–can be true. But my point still stands.”

You clear your throat, “Okay. Maybe I'm not completely in a place where I'm searching for a relationship. I never hid that.”

“Of course. But that's why I just tried to prove my point why I think you're not interested.”

You stay silent for a second. He's technically a stranger but it seems as if you were having this conversation with a friend. You don't feel uncomfortable and there's no need for you to get defensive over this topic. He's wondering and that's fine. 

“It wasn't a relationship. Just a hooking-up type of one and we ended it. So I just need to get things back how they were.”

And comically enough, the person who's a part of this is sitting just right over there. Even though Gabriel seems to notice quite a few things, Jungkook and your history with him seems to be oblivious to him.

Why do you care?

You've been trying to keep it a secret as long as possible until it got out. So what if he knows the truth? It's not like you'll see him again – most likely. You don't need anyone to judge you two or look at you differently. You definitely don't need any more insights into this matter than your friends have delivered. 

Your own mind is a mess.

And on top of it, Jungkook and you are on edge. 

The mention of him causes you to look up. And fuck. What a mistake you make. 

You meet Jungkook's gaze, the intense color in them burning even from this distance as he's already looking at you. Your breath hitches in the most subtle way. While you stare shocked that he has noticed you, his brows are pinched together.

He's not exactly pleased to find you here. 

Nara sits on the opposite side of the table, so all you can see is her back but she seems to be saying something to him. Jungkook reaches for the glass of wine and takes a few sips, eyes not leaving yours. 

Then he's the first one to look away. That tiny detail affects you more than you're able to admit and you almost fume when the frown disappears from his face. You watch it all. His features relax as he talks to her back, obviously listening to her even though his eyes were elsewhere. Even that is kind of annoying. 

Nara gently throws her head back and giggles almost so loudly, that you hear some of it. With the most burning eyes you watch Jungkook smile and let out the prettiest gentle laugh.

“Are you okay?”

You quickly avert your gaze to Gabriel. “Yeah.”

“Thought I already bore you.”

You push out a laugh, wishing Jungkook is looking. But once your eyes stupidly wander back to him – he actually is looking. 

You make sure Jungkook sees the tiny provoking movement upwards of your lips. And he does. His eyes narrow, addressing the glare to you and only you.

“No, I'm starting to have a lot of fun.”

Gabriel's and yours glasses clink together comically in a synchronized way. But the only ones who seem to be on the same wavelength and having an idea – are you and Jungkook.

a/n: F-I–N-A-L-L-Y! believe it or not, nobody wanted to get this chapter out more than me! if you've been around and reading some of the asks, you probably know life got crazy and busy! as always, I'm super grateful to everyone who's been patient for me and cheering on me whether it was online or offline ♡ to every person who's been harassing me on the internet over an update, this one's not for you. I see you and I'm not interested. I've said this in one of my asks – you never know what someone goes through offline and what could possibly be the reason of their lack of activity.

on another note, this chapter should've had more scenes and so much more was supposed to happen, but from obvious reasons I've decided to post it in the end because I still think it's a good chapter. anyway, I hope you'll like it just as much as I liked it when I was writing it (no matter how much time it took me 🥴) all the love goes to you guys!

If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for chapter 60 will be posted there!

goal: 9k notes 🌙

You tilt your head up to look at him, your eyes meeting his. There’s so much love in his gaze, so much depth and emotion that it nearly takes your breath away. “We’ve come so far, haven’t we?” you whisper, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from his face.

Jake nods, a soft smile playing on his lips. “We really have,” he agrees. “I can’t believe it. Everything we’ve been through… and now, here we are. Together.”

You both fall into a comfortable silence, letting the weight of those words sink in. You think back to everything you’ve faced together—the threats, the fears, the moments of doubt. But also the laughter, the joy, the way you’ve grown closer with every obstacle. It’s been a journey, and you know it’s far from over, but right now, in this quiet morning light, you feel like you’ve reached a milestone. A place of security and love that you never imagined could be possible.

Jake’s fingers brush along your jaw, tilting your face up toward his. “I wouldn’t trade any of it,” he says softly, his eyes locking onto yours. “Every moment, every struggle, it’s all been worth it to get to where we are now.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but they’re tears of happiness, of overwhelming love. “I wouldn’t either,” you whisper back, your voice thick with emotion. “I’m so grateful for you, Jake. For everything you do, for how much you love me. I never imagined I could feel this way.”

He tightens his hold on you, his arms wrapping around you like a protective shield. “You’re everything to me,” Jake whispers, his voice filled with emotion. “And I promise I’ll keep doing everything I can to make you happy.”

You lift your head to look at him, your heart swelling with love. “You already make me happy, Jake. Every single day. I don’t need anything else.”

He gazes at you, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings. “You deserve the world,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m going to spend the rest of my life giving it to you.”

Your breath catches in your throat at his words, and you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You lean down, pressing your forehead against his. “I love you,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “So much.”

Jake’s hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear that escapes. “I love you too,” he replies, his voice equally soft. He pulls you down for a kiss, and you can feel the love and tenderness in every movement of his lips.

The kiss is slow and unhurried, filled with all the emotions you’ve both been feeling. His hand trails down your back, and you shiver at the sensation. As the kiss deepens, you feel a warmth spreading through your body, a familiar heat building between you.

Jake’s lips move to your jawline, trailing soft kisses down to your neck. He nips at your skin gently, and you let out a quiet gasp, your hands gripping his shoulders. “Jake,” you murmur, your voice a mix of longing and affection.

He hums against your skin, his hands wandering lower. “Hmm?” he responds, his voice deep and filled with desire. “Just let me take care of you…”

You’re about to reply when the sound of your phone vibrating on the nightstand breaks through the haze of warmth and affection. Jake groans in frustration, his lips still pressed against your neck. “Ignore it,” he mumbles, his voice slightly muffled as he continues his kisses.

You let out a soft laugh, gently pushing against his chest. “Jake, we can’t just ignore it,” you say, though there’s a playful note in your voice. You reach over to grab your phone, but he catches your wrist, his eyes dark with desire as he tries to pull you back to him.

“Come on,” he whispers, leaning in to capture your lips again. “It’s probably nothing important.”

You manage to twist in his grasp and grab the phone, glancing at the screen. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the caller ID. “It’s Yerin,” you say, holding up the phone.

Jake pauses, a small frown forming on his lips. “Yerin?” he echoes, his brow furrowing slightly. He finally releases his hold on you, letting out a sigh of resignation. “Why is she calling?”

You swallow the unease rising in your throat and answer the call, pressing the phone to your ear. “Hello?” you say, your voice edged with caution. “Yerin?”

“Good morning,” Yerin’s voice comes through, smooth and detached. There’s no warmth in her tone, just a cold, measured cadence. “I trust I’m not interrupting anything important.”

You glance at Jake, who is watching you with a mix of tension and curiosity. “No, not at all,” you reply, forcing yourself to remain steady. “I just wasn’t expecting to hear from you. Is everything alright?”

There’s a pause on the other end, the kind that makes you feel as though she’s assessing you, weighing every word. “Everything is fine,” Yerin says eventually, though her tone suggests otherwise. “I thought it appropriate to check in. How is the pregnancy progressing?”

Your heart skips a beat. You had hoped the pregnancy story you spun would be enough to keep Yerin at a distance, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. Quickly, you compose yourself, leaning into the narrative you’ve woven. “It’s… progressing,” you say, allowing a faint sigh to escape your lips. “The morning sickness has been rough—worse than I expected. I’ve barely been able to keep anything down.”

Yerin’s silence stretches, thick and oppressive, before she speaks again, her voice laced with a subtle edge. “I see. I’m sure Jake has been doing his part, taking care of you. He’s always had a way of getting too involved in matters.”

You bristle at her thinly veiled jab but keep your tone light. “He’s been wonderful, really. I’m lucky to have him.” You emphasize the last part, hoping to deflect some of her bitterness.

A cold hum is the only response you receive, the sound low and calculating. “Indeed. Well, I’ll be arriving shortly for brunch. I expect to be there within the hour.”

Your heart stops momentarily, shock rippling through you. “You’re coming over?” You try to keep your voice even, but the surprise seeps through.

“Yes,” Yerin replies, her tone indicating that it’s not up for debate. “I assume that won’t be a problem? I’d hate to disrupt your ‘rest,’ but it’s important that we have a conversation.”

You scramble to regain composure, forcing a polite tone. “Of course. I just… wasn’t expecting company. I’ll do my best to get ready.”

“You should rest,” Yerin counters, a hint of mock concern in her voice. “I won’t be long. We’ll talk, and then you can go back to taking care of yourself.”

“Right,” you say, feeling cornered. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

“Good,” she says, her tone clipped and final. “I’ll be there shortly.”

The line goes dead, and you slowly lower the phone, still trying to process the conversation. Jake’s eyes are fixed on you, concern deepening as he reads the confusion and unease on your face. He reaches out, his hand finding yours, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“What did she say?” he asks gently, his voice low as if not to startle you.

You blink, coming back to the present moment. “She’s coming over,” you say, the words feeling strange on your tongue. “She wants to have brunch and… talk.”

“Talk?” Jake echoes, his brows knitting together. “About what?”

You shake your head, frustration and confusion bubbling up inside you. “I don’t know, she didn’t say. Just that she wouldn’t stay long.” You pause, biting your lip as a thought occurs to you. “Do you think she’s caught on? About the bugs we had Jungwon plant?”

Jake’s expression hardens, the playful warmth from earlier vanishing as he considers the possibility. “I don’t think so,” he says after a moment. “If she had, I doubt she’d just show up for a chat. But I’ll check in with Jungwon, just to be sure.”

You nod, feeling a little better at his reassurance, but the anxiety still simmers beneath the surface. Jake gives your hand another squeeze before releasing it, his voice softening as he says, “Come on, let’s get ready. We’ll figure this out.”

You manage a small smile and follow him as he leads you toward the bathroom. The tension in your shoulders starts to ease as you settle into the familiar routine of getting ready together. Jake’s presence is a comfort, his calm demeanor helping to ground you.

As you both stand side by side at the sink, Jake hands you your toothbrush with a small, playful grin. “Think she’ll be impressed by our synchronized brushing?”

You let out a soft laugh, the sound easing some of the tension in the room. “She’ll probably criticize our technique.”

“Let her,” Jake replies, his tone teasing. “We’ll dazzle her with our perfect coordination.”

You can’t help but smile as you start brushing your teeth together, the mundane act surprisingly comforting in the midst of the morning’s uncertainty. Jake catches your eye in the mirror, giving you a small wink that makes you laugh again.

After brushing your teeth, Jake moves to the shower, turning on the water and testing the temperature. He looks back at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Care to join me?”

You raise an eyebrow, feigning skepticism. “Are you trying to distract me, Mr. Sim?”

“Absolutely Mrs. Sim,” he says without missing a beat, reaching for your hand to pull you into the shower. “And I’ll do a good job of it, too.”

You can’t argue with that, and soon the warm water is cascading over both of you, washing away the last of your lingering tension. Jake is gentle, his touch soft and comforting as he washes your body. It’s moments like this that remind you just how much he cares, how much he wants to protect you from anything that might cause you stress.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he rinses your body.

“For what?” he asks, his voice low as he leans in to press a kiss to your temple.

“For always knowing what I need,” you reply, turning to look at him. “Even when I don’t know it myself.”

Jake smiles, a soft, loving expression that makes your heart swell. “I’m just doing what I can to take care of you,” he says, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “You’re the most important thing in my life.”

The shower becomes a tender exchange of affection, each touch, each kiss filled with unspoken words of love and support. By the time you step out, your earlier anxieties have been replaced by a warm sense of security. You both take your time drying off, the simple act of helping each other with towels becoming another quiet expression of your bond.

Jake, ever the thoughtful partner, starts rummaging through his side of the closet as you begin your skincare routine. You catch him glancing over at you, a contemplative look on his face.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you ask with a smile as you apply moisturizer.

Jake grins, holding up one of his oversized hoodies. “I was thinking… Can I dress you today?”

You burst out laughing, the idea of Jake playing stylist both endearing and amusing. “You want to dress me?” you repeat, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he says, his tone serious but playful. “You’re ‘pregnant’, right? Comfort over anything else.”

You shake your head, still laughing but touched by his suggestion. “Yerin’s going to have something to say about me wearing your clothes instead of dressing up.”

“She’ll have something to say no matter what,” Jake counters, stepping closer and holding the hoodie out to you. “Besides, I think you look beautiful in my clothes.”

You pretend to think about it, but the truth is, you’re already sold on the idea. There’s something incredibly intimate about wearing his clothes, especially when you know it’s for his comfort as much as yours. “Alright,” you say, taking the hoodie from him. “But if she makes a snide comment, I’m blaming you.”

Jake chuckles, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Deal.”

You slip on the hoodie, the soft fabric enveloping you in warmth, and you can’t help but smile at how it practically swallows you whole. It’s cozy, and despite the situation, it makes you feel safe. Jake watches you with a satisfied grin, clearly pleased with his choice.

As you finish getting dressed, the two of you hear a soft knock on the door, signaling that Yerin has arrived. Your heart skips a beat, but Jake is quick to grab your hand, squeezing it gently. “Ready?” he asks, his voice steady.

“As I’ll ever be,” you reply, taking a deep breath as you head downstairs with Jake by your side.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, you see one of the housekeepers opening the front door for Yerin. She steps inside with the air of someone who expects the world to bend to her will. Her posture is as straight and poised as ever, her eyes as sharp as knives as they sweep across the foyer, taking in every detail. The moment her gaze lands on you, her eyes narrow slightly, lingering on your oversized hoodie. But before she can comment, you notice something unusual: a decent sized chest in her hand, intricately carved and clearly old. Your heart skips a beat, but you force yourself to remain composed, deciding not to ask about it just yet.

Jake steps forward, his tone polite but wary. “Mother,” he greets, gently guiding you to stand beside him. “Thank you for coming.”

Yerin’s smile is a little too perfect, her demeanor uncharacteristically warm. “Jake,” she responds, her voice honeyed. “It’s good to see you. It’s been too long.” She glances around the house with an approving nod, then turns her attention back to Jake. “You’ve got a lovely home here.”

Jake raises an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard by her sudden amiability. “Thank you,” he replies cautiously. He exchanges a quick glance with you, as if trying to gauge your reaction to this new, unsettling version of his stepmother.

Yerin doesn’t miss a beat. “And you, my dear,” she says, turning to you with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Pregnancy seems to agree with you. You’re positively glowing.”

You offer a polite smile in return, the unease bubbling beneath the surface. Yerin has never been one to dole out compliments, especially not to you. “Thank you,” you manage, feeling the need to tread carefully.

Yerin continues, making an effort at small talk, something she rarely does. “Jake, how’s the business going? I hear we’re expected to receive a five percent bump in the next quarter.”

Jake nods, clearly suspicious but unwilling to show it. “Yes, we’ve been doing well,” he replies. “The team’s been working hard.”

She nods approvingly, as if she’s genuinely interested, but there’s something about her tone that feels calculated. “That’s good to hear,” she says. “Your father is proud.”

Jake’s grip on your hand tightens slightly, a subtle sign that he’s not entirely buying her act. “Thank you, Mother,” he says, his voice carefully neutral.

Yerin then turns to you with that same unsettling smile. “I’d like to spend some time with you, dear. One-on-one, if you don’t mind,” she says, her tone light, almost too casual. “It’s important for us to get to know each other better.”

You feel Jake stiffen beside you, his protective instincts flaring. “I’d prefer to stay,” he interjects. “The pregnancy has been taking a toll, and I’d feel better if I were here.”

Yerin’s smile doesn’t waver, but there’s a hint of something sharper in her eyes now. “Jake, I gave birth to Heeseung,” she says, her voice calm but firm. “I’m more than capable of looking after her. Besides, it’s only right that she and I have some time to talk, don’t you think?”

Jake hesitates, clearly torn. You can sense his reluctance, his unwillingness to leave you alone with her. But he knows better than to push back too hard, especially when Yerin is being this... diplomatic. With a sigh, he relents. “Alright,” he agrees, though his tone betrays his dismay. He turns to you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’ll be in the study if you need anything,” he says softly, his eyes conveying a silent promise to return if things go awry.

You watch him go, feeling a knot of unease tighten in your stomach. Yerin’s sudden shift in demeanor is unsettling, and you can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to her visit than she’s letting on. Once Jake is out of sight, you turn to Yerin, trying to mask your discomfort.

“Shall we?” you say, gesturing toward the kitchen, forcing a smile.

Yerin follows you, her eyes still roaming the house as if she’s evaluating it, judging it. Once in the kitchen, you move to put on a pot of tea, trying to steady your hands as you do so. The silence between you is thick, almost suffocating, but before it can stretch too long, Yerin surprises you again by attempting to make conversation.

“How have you been feeling?” she asks, her tone carefully measured. “Pregnancy can be such a trying time, especially in the early months.”

You glance at her, wary but trying not to show it. “I’ve been managing,” you reply, keeping your tone neutral. “There are good days and bad days, but Jake’s been very supportive.”

Yerin nods, as if this is exactly what she expected to hear. “That’s good. You’re lucky to have him by your side. He’s always been such a strong, reliable boy,” she says, and for a moment, you wonder if she’s actually sincere. But there’s an edge to her voice that makes you doubt it.

As you wait for the water to boil, Yerin’s eyes land on a canvas propped against the far wall, one of your unfinished paintings. “I see you’re still working on your art,” she comments, her voice casual, almost offhand. “I heard Jaeyun is opening up an art sector for your works.”

You blink, taken aback by the fact that she even remembers your interest in the fine arts. Yerin has never shown the slightest interest in you let alone your artwork before. “Yes, I am and he is,” you say slowly, unsure of where this is going.

Yerin tilts her head slightly, as if considering something. “It must be challenging to find the time now, with the baby on the way and all. But it’s good that you’re still pursuing your passions.”

You nod, feeling more and more unsettled by the second. “It helps to keep me sane” you admit, wondering if there’s an ulterior motive behind her sudden interest.

The kettle whistles, cutting through the tension like a knife. You busy yourself with preparing the tea, grateful for the distraction. As you pour the steaming liquid into two delicate cups, you can’t help but wonder what game Yerin is playing. Her demeanor is too pleasant, too... nice. And Yerin is never nice without a reason.

Once the tea is ready, you bring the cups to the table, setting one in front of Yerin and one for yourself. She takes a sip, her eyes never leaving you, and you feel like a specimen under a microscope.

Finally, Yerin sets her cup down and reaches for the small chest she had been holding earlier. Without a word, she slides it across the table toward you, her expression unreadable.

You slowly put down your own cup, your heart pounding in your chest. “What is this for?” you ask, your voice carefully neutral.

Yerin’s smile is still in place, but there’s something almost predatory in her eyes now. “It’s a chest filled with things Jake’s mother left behind for him,” she explains, her tone soft, almost too soft. “It was meant to be given to him once he got married.”

The revelation takes you completely by surprise. You blink, trying to process the information. “Why are you giving this to me?” you ask, suspicion creeping into your voice.

Yerin sighs, as if the answer should be obvious. “We were instructed to give it to Jake once he was married, but his father thought it would be a hindrance, make him weak, so he decided to hide it away. I thought it would be a nice surprise for the two of you, especially now that you’re expecting. It’s only appropriate.”

You hesitate, your mind racing. This is the last thing you expected from Yerin, and you’re not sure how to react. The chest likely contains items that will mean the world to Jake, perhaps the last things his mother left behind before she was killed. The weight of the decision presses down on you—should you open it now, or wait for Jake? But curiosity wins out, and with trembling hands, you unlatch the chest and lift the lid.

Inside, you find letters upon letters, baby clothes and shoes that must have belonged to Jake, and pictures of Jake and his mother when he was younger. Your heart aches as you take in the contents, your eyes skimming a letter addressed to “the one my son chooses.” Though it doesn’t explicitly bear your name, the intent is clear. You’re absolutely shocked, unable to hide your emotions as you think about how much joy this will bring Jake.

“Thank you,” you manage to say, your voice thick with emotion.

Yerin hums in response, taking another sip of her tea as she examines you, her eyes narrowing slightly. There’s something about her gaze that makes your skin prickle, as if she’s sizing you up, waiting for something. The air is thick with tension, and you can’t shake the feeling that Yerin’s pleasant demeanor is just a facade.

Then, with a delicate clink, she sets her teacup down and leans back in her chair, her smile fading. The air around her seems to chill, the warmth draining from her expression.

“Let’s drop the coy act, shall we?” she says, her voice smooth as silk, but laced with something cold and dangerous. The shift is so sudden, so jarring, that it takes you a moment to process. All at once, the real Yerin.

You can’t help but scoff lightly at her sudden change in tone, but you don’t back down. Instead, you sit up straighter in your chair, meeting her gaze head-on. "I’m sure you know why I’m here," she continues, her voice smooth and full of confidence.

You tilt your head slightly, genuinely puzzled. "Whatever do you mean?" you ask, keeping your tone even. You have a feeling that she’s here to ask for something, or perhaps she’s aware that you and Jake are on to her, but you’re not about to give away anything just yet.

Yerin’s lips curl into a smirk, a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. "I’m not stupid. I know you’re on to me," she says, her voice dripping with condescension.

Her words catch you off guard, but you force yourself not to react. Internally, your mind is racing. How much does she know? Should you admit it, or continue playing dumb? The weight of the decision presses on you, but after a moment, you decide that the truth might be the best leverage you have right now. She’s clearly here with an agenda, and perhaps you can use that to your advantage.

“…Yes. I am,” you admit, your voice firm, locking eyes with her to convey that you’re not afraid.

Yerin doesn’t miss a beat. “Good,” she says, her tone as smooth as silk. “Then I’ll get straight to the point. I want you to join me.”

You scoff again, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest. “Join you?” you echo, incredulous. “Have you forgotten the hit you put on me?”

Yerin waves her hand dismissively, “That wasn’t me,” she says casually, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Her response throws you off balance. You stare at her, confused. “What do you mean it wasn’t you?” you ask, suspicion and disbelief mingling in your voice. Of all the people who would benefit from your elimination, Yerin seemed like the most obvious culprit.

Yerin’s expression turns cold, her eyes narrowing. “The hit wasn’t meant for you,” she explains, her tone clipped. “It was meant for Jaeyun.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you process her words. “But why would—”

“Heeseung,” Yerin interrupts, her voice laced with disdain. “He was impulsive, reckless. He disregarded my direct orders to sit tight and decided to take matters into his own hands. The fool thought he could eliminate Jaeyun and make his move, despite knowing how dangerous that would be.”

You mull over her words, the pieces slowly falling into place. It does make sense—Heeseung has always been ambitious, desperate to prove himself, but his impatience has always been his downfall. You remember Jake telling you about how Heeseung was constantly trying to one-up him during the time the throne was up for grabs. But it’s one thing to suspect Heeseung of being reckless; it’s another to hear it confirmed by Yerin herself.

“And what about the second hit?” you ask, your voice hardening. “The one meant for me and my baby?”

Yerin smirks, her eyes gleaming with something dark. “Water under the bridge?” she suggests, her tone light, almost playful, as if the attempt on your life were some trivial matter.

You’re completely unamused by her response, your expression turning stony. Yerin sighs, as if disappointed that you didn’t find her little joke funny. “I underestimated you,” she admits, her tone begrudgingly respectful. “You’ve proven to be a worthy opponent.”

You don’t comment on her backhanded compliment, your mind racing with all the implications of what she’s revealed. Instead, you decide to hit her where it hurts. “Jaehee will kill you when he finds out what you’ve done,” you say coldly, knowing full well the truth of your words.

But Yerin doesn’t flinch. In fact, she looks like she was counting on this response. “You won’t say anything,” she counters smoothly, her voice dripping with certainty. “Because that would mean admitting that Sungchan slept with me. And we both know Jaehee would definitely kill him if he found out.”

Her words hang in the air, a challenge laid bare between the two of you. For a moment, she seems to think she’s won, that she’s backed you into a corner. But you’ve already anticipated this. You know the stakes, and you know how much Yerin is underestimating you right now.

“My brother made his bed,” you say, your tone icy, your expression unwavering. “He should lie in it.”

Your response visibly rocks Yerin. You can see the brief flicker of shock in her eyes, the way her composed facade cracks for just a moment. She thought Sungchan would be the one thing she could hold over your head, the one leverage she could use to control you. But now, she realizes she’s severely misjudged you.

It takes her only a second to recover, masking her shock with a cold smile. “Ruthless,” she remarks, her tone almost admiring. “That’s what I need. Not someone weak or impulsive like the men surrounding us.”

You shake your head, not buying into her attempt to flatter you. “What about Heeseung?” you ask pointedly. “Aren’t you doing all of this so he can take over?”

Yerin sighs, taking a deliberate sip of her tea before responding. “That was the original plan,” she admits, her voice tinged with disappointment. “But Heeseung has proven himself to be reckless and a liability. I need someone who’s calculated, trustworthy, and seen as an underdog—someone like me to work in the background alongside him.”

You nod, understanding where she’s coming from, but you’re not convinced. “And Jake?” you press, needing to know where her loyalties truly lie.

Yerin’s lips curl into a knowing smile. “I don’t need Jake,” she says, her tone matter-of-fact. “And neither do you. In this game, Jake may be the king, but the king is nothing without the queen. And I know you’re the one who’s been controlling Jake, guiding his moves. Why let all that power go to waste over a man?”

Her words cut deep and send a chill down your spine, Heeseung said the exact same to you the night of your wedding. You don’t let it show how much the words have rocked you, instead, you sit there, processing everything she’s said. Before you can respond, Yerin stands, her movements graceful and deliberate. She’s ready to leave, the conversation clearly over in her mind. But as she turns to go, she tosses her phone onto the table, her eyes gleaming with dark amusement.

“Oh, and the next time you decide to tap my phone, do make sure it’s untraceable,” she says, her voice laced with condescension.

Your heart skips a beat, but you keep your expression neutral, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing you react. Yerin smirks, clearly pleased with herself, and then she turns on her heel and strides out of the kitchen, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You watch her go. Yerin’s proposal hangs in the air, a disturbing truth to where her allegiance lies, with herself. She truly is just as ruthless as you thought her to be but more than that, you’re left with the knowledge that this battle is far from over. Yerin is playing a dangerous game, and if you’re going to survive, you’ll have to be just as ruthless as she is.

The door clicks shut behind her, and you’re left in the heavy silence of the kitchen, Yerin’s phone still lying on the table like a taunt. You glance at it, your mind already working through the possibilities. You knew Yerin was dangerous, but now you’re certain—this is a war, and you’ll have to play every card right if you want to come out on top.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulls you from your thoughts, and a moment later, Jake steps into the kitchen. His eyes immediately go to the phone on the table before they shift to you, concern etched on his face.