just a girl who reads fanfics

The day had been well and truly shit. That was the only way to describe it.

Two surgeries ran over. One attending blamed you for something that wasn’t even your fault. Then the ER got slammed just as you were supposed to leave, which meant that instead of going home, showering, and pretending the day never happened, you spent another three hours getting yelled at by patients, families, and one particularly angry paramedic.

By the time you actually arrived at Arizona’s barbecue, you were running hours late and entirely on caffeine and spite. You had briefly considered not coming at all and instead going home, collapsing into bed, and ignoring your phone for the next twelve hours... but you knew yourself well enough to know that if you went home alone tonight, you’d just replay every mistake in your head until morning.

So... barbecue it was.

It was crowded in the garden. Music drifted from a speaker somewhere near the treeline at the far end of Arizona's yard, just loud enough to blend into the hum of conversation. A few pediatric nurses were gathered around the grill, loudly and jokingly arguing over burger temperatures like it was life or death. You rolled your eyes.

Fairy lights had been strung across the fence, casting everything in warm gold and making the whole place feel softer somehow. It was calm, peaceful.

You wished you could actually feel any of those things right now.

You finally sank into a patio chair with a quiet groan, taking a long sip of your beer as you tried to force your shoulders to relax. They felt permanently lodged somewhere near your ears after the day you’d had.

"Wow," You looked up to see Alex Karev standing over you, hands shoved in his pockets and an annoyingly smug grin on his face. "I didn’t know it was possible," he said, "but you somehow look worse outside the hospital."

You glared and aimed a lazy kick at his knee, missing on purpose.

"I think you’ll find," you said, nodding toward the chair beside you, motioning for him to sit, "that I am actually thriving."

He snorted, looking over as another chair scraped loudly against the patio and Cristina dropped into it beside you with an audible sigh.

"Sure thing," she said, immediately joining your conversation with an eyebrow raised at you as she appraised you. "That face screams 'thriving'."

You brushed her off, distracted by something going on further down the garden and, ever the observant friend, her eyes followed your line of sight across the garden and her eyes narrowed.

"Oh."

Karev frowned. "Oh what?"

Cristina pointed at your face, "She’s doing the thing again."

"What thing?" He frowned, leaning into your space and peering into your eyes. His close proximity brought you back down to Earth and you swatted him away, taking another sip of your beer.

"The staring."

You straightened immediately, clearing your throat, "Uh, no, I don’t stare."

Cristina let out a small huff of laughter, "You’re staring right now."

"I’m not staring." You set your jaw, deliberately keeping your eyes set on Christina in an attempt to prove your point. Then considered the fact that you were staring at Christina so maybe you should just look at Karev, or-

Cristina paused your internal monologue when she held out a hand to Karev, "Ten bucks if you can guess who."

Karev scoffed. "Ten bucks? Please. I’m not that desperate for-"

His gaze followed yours and he froze. Then he slowly grinned and let out a short burst of laughter.

"Oh."

Your stomach dropped and you firmly shook your head, focusing on your beer bottle, the label peeling off slightly at the corner. You couldn't be accused of staring at anyone if you were staring at the drink in your hand, "No."

"Oh, wow."

"Don’t, Karev."

"You’ve got to be kidding me. Easiest ten bucks I'll ever earn. You better cough up." He held his hand out to Yang as you finally gave back in to the pull you felt, letting your eyes settle over to her again. Across the garden, Addison Montgomery stood near the drinks table talking to Bailey, wine glass in hand.

Dark jeans, cream blouse and hair down. Unfair really. Very distracting.

Just completely unfair.

You sank lower in your chair. "I’ve had a bad day and I really don’t need this right now." You mumbled, feeling like a little kid being teased on the playground again.

Karev just ignored you. "Of course you like her."

You narrowed your eyes, "What does that even mean?"

He shrugged, "Well, she’s kind of an ass-"

"Hey, if I was into assholes, you’d be top of my list." You grumbled, shooting him a glare again. You seemed to be doing a lot of that recently. Maybe you needed a better attitude to life. Ah well, there's time for that, today sucks enough to be grumpy.

"I'm saying… she’s alright. For an attending. That’s all I’m saying. Older than you but... who am I to yuck your yum?"

You groaned, "Please don't ever say that again. I really hate this conversation."

Cristina crossed her arms, "Have you even spoken to her?"

"Yes."

Karev barked out a laugh, "Liar."

"I have." You leant back in your chair, finishing your beer, eyes on the look out for another one - anything to escape this conversation.

"When?"

You hesitated.

"…Around the hospital."

Cristina raised a brow, "Around?"

You leaned over to an ice box, grabbing another drink and waving Yang away, "You know. Corridors. Elevators. She gave me a coffee once. I think it was meant for someone else... but I still drank it so-"

Cristina stared. "That is so sad."

Karev nodded. "I think you just described having a coworker you exist near."

"You guys suck."

Karev suddenly leaned forward, a dangerous glint entering his eyes. You recognized that look instantly. A look of trouble. He was going to do something stupid. He was going to do something stupid... in your direction. You watched as he glanced down at your chair leg, to somewhere behind you, and lifted his leg.

"Karev, no-"

Too late. His foot slammed into the front of your chair, his foot landing on the edge and the chair jolted backward. Your new beer launched straight into the air and the cold liquid poured down your front.

"What the hell?!"

Cristina burst into peels of laughter. Karev leaned back, far too pleased with himself.

"You were saying you had a shitty day," he said. "I had to put things into perspective."

"You absolute-"

"Are you okay?"

Everything stopped and your heart nearly stopped with it. That voice, warm, smooth and familiar. You turned around to see Addison was standing right there, looking directly at you.

At your soaked shirt.

At Karev.

At the puddle of beer beneath your chair.

Then her gaze settled on Karev. One eyebrow lifted. “Karev.”

He straightened.

"She was complaining she was too hot."

You whipped around.

"I did not-"

Addison’s gaze sharpened, "So you kicked her chair?"

Karev raised both hands. "I carefully… helped her to-"

"You kicked her chair."

"So what? She’s fine. Right?" He shrugged. Addison gave him a look so sharp it could have cut glass and Karev cracked, "…Right. Sorry, I guess," he said and, upon facing you, a twinkle set in his eye and he winked at you.

Addison had already turned her back to him, missing his grin, and focused on you, immediately softer. "Come on."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time you reached her car, your pulse still hadn’t settled.

You changed into the soft pullover she handed you, a soft, navy, and much-too-big pullover, and tried very hard not to think about the fact that it smelled like her.

When you were done, Addison climbed into the open trunk and patted the space beside her. "Just sit for a moment."

You hesitated but eventually the pull was too much and you found yourself sat beside her.

The street was quiet compared to the party. Music drifted faintly from the yard, softened by distance. Addison tucked one leg beneath herself and looked at you.

"So."

You exhaled. "So?"

She studied you for a long moment, eyes steady on your face.

"You okay?"

You attempted a self-conscious laugh, just about fighting the urge to completely brush her off, but decising to settle on middle ground - some truth. "I had a bad day. Karev was just trying to cheer me up." Her mouth twitched and you felt like you had to defend him, only slightly. "He has good intentions."

Addison gave you a look and took in a deep breath, "I think we may be thinking of different Karevs."

Despite yourself, you smiled. "Hmm, fair."

Her expression softened. "So. A bad day?"

Your shoulders sagged, "It’s nothing new." You shrugged a little but she waited.

That was the thing about Addison, she never rushed a silence. Never filled it just to make herself comfortable. And eventually, the words came.

"It’s just… the OR was a mess. The ER was even worse. I got blamed for things I didn’t do and everyone needed everything all at once and I just…"

Your voice caught and you swallowed hard. Crying in front of anyone was one thing but crying in front of the women that could have you wrapped around her little finger? Pure embarrassment.

"I don’t know," You gave a weak laugh. "...I think I’m just tired."

Addison was quiet for a moment. Then her voice softened, "Hey."

You looked up. Her eyes held yours, they were steady, warm and impossibly gentle.

"You will be okay."

The words hit harder than they should have and then your eyes burned instantly. "Oh no."

Her brows lifted. "Oh no?"

You laughed shakily. "I think I might cry, just a little bit." You scrunched your nose up as your eyes prickled with tears already forming.

"That’s okay." Her thumb brushed your cheek, wiping away a tear and her whole expression shifted, softening even further. She hummed, her voice came out quiet, almost a whisper, "You really don’t see it, do you?"

Your brow furrowed, "See what?"

She exhaled through a small smile, "You’re actually going to make me say this out loud, huh?" Your pulse kicked lightly. She looked away for half a second, almost amused with herself, "God, I feel like I’m sixteen." She muttered under her breath.

You blinked slowly. "What?"

"Like I'm some lovesick teenager trying to confess to the girl she likes."

Your brain stopped completely. "…What?" And Addison looked back at you, only honesty in her steady gaze.

"I like you."

You stared, your brain feeling like it was short-circuiting slightly, "No, I don't... think so?"

She blinked, her head tilted to one side, "You don't... what? What does that even mean?"

"It means it doesn’t seem possible."

"And why exactly is it not possible?" She asked, a small grin forming on her face.

You made a helpless gesture between the two of you, "Because you’re Addison Montgomery."

She stared, her eyes sparkling through her smile, "That is... not an explanation."

"Okay. Fine. From my perspective, you are beautiful, terrifying, brilliant, and half the hospital is either in love with you or afraid of you."

She narrowed her eyes, "I'm not terrifying." You gave her a look and she sighed. "Fine. Occasionally intimidating."

You ignored the alteration to your own statement and forged on.

"My point is, why would I think you like me?"

Addison stared at you for a moment like she genuinely could not believe this conversation was happening. Then she said, very slowly, "Because I flirt with you."

Your jaw dropped, "You do not."

"I absolutely do." She folded her arms. "In the elevator last Thursday, I told you your scrubs were distracting."

You frowned and shook your head, "Because they had blood on them." She just stared and gently shook her head right back at you. Your mouth opened. And closed.

Oh.

Addison continued, sounding almost exasperated now. "I bring you coffee."

"You bring lots of people coffee."

"No, I really don’t." She shifted closer, just enough that the space between you suddenly felt very noticeable. "When you speak in patient conferences, I listen to what you’re saying, not because I have to, but because I want to hear what you think."

Your breath caught.

"When we’re in surgery together, I notice everything." Her voice had gone lower now, quieter, more intimate. "I notice when you’re tired, even when you insist you’re fine. I notice when you’re stressed because your entire posture changes like you’re turning inwards, trying to protect yourself."

You couldn’t move.

Could barely breathe.

"I know when you’re happy, too," she continued, softer now. "Because you get this little crease beside your left eye when you smile properly. Not the polite smile you give colleagues, the real one." She gently places her finger near your temple.

Her gaze flicked over your face with pure tenderness.

"I know exactly how your eyes change when you’re overthinking something. They get distant for a second, like you disappear into your own head."

She lifted her other hand slowly, giving you time to pull away, but you didn’t. Her fingertips brushed your cheek.

"And you chew the inside of your cheek when you’re anxious." Then, your entire body went still because she was right, and you were doing it now. You pushed your cheek out from between your teeth.

Addison’s thumb brushed once near your jaw, her voice softening into something almost impossibly gentle. "I notice you." She paused, searching your face like she needed you to understand. "I notice when you walk into a room, even when I’m in the middle of something important. I notice when you’ve skipped lunch. I notice when you pretend you’re okay because you don’t want to burden anyone."

Her eyes shone with raw honesty now.

"And I notice that you keep looking at me like I’m something unattainable, something distant, when the truth is…" She swallowed. "I have spent months trying to get your attention."

A tiny, disbelieving laugh escaped you. "What?"

The hospital hallway was quiet in that late-night way. lights dimmed, footsteps echoing, the chaos finally settling. You strolled down the hallway, two cups of coffee in your hands. Your eyes wandered, looking for her. Then you spotted her, standing at the nurses station. Addisons red hair was tied in a bun, eyebrows furrowed in focus as she studied her charts. You couldn’t help but smile. You have been together for only a week. after months of dancing around it, flirting, dating, and pretending you weren’t already halfway in love, you finally made it official. It was complicated at first. Dating your attending wasn’t exactly everyone would accept and understand. But you didn’t care anymore. the new relationship head rush made everything feel magnetic about her. Your legs carry you towards the nurses station, and you stood right beside her, placing the cup of coffee on the desk. Addison perked up, her green eyes meeting yours and her lips tugged into a soft smile.

“I thought you could use another coffee to survive this night shift.”

Addison let out a tired, soft laugh, that kind that only came out when she let her guard down. “Oh god, I needed that. Thank you.”

Her fingers brush against yours as she took the cup from you, and you could swear it wasn’t accidentally.

“I thought so. You look like hell.”

“Oh wow thank you.” She teased.

“Relax, you look adorable when you are exhausted.” Then you added, softer, “But you also look like you need sleep, food, and maybe five more coffees.”

Addison let out another tired little laugh, her eyes warming at your concern.

“Yeah that’s true. I just want to go home already.”

“Home, huh? With me or just your bed?” You raised a brow.

Addison gave you a look—one that answered the question for you.

You were about to keep talking, when her pager suddenly went off. Addison sighed, and glanced down to check it. She immediately shifted into doctor mode.

“Damn. Trauma coming in. Thirty-four weeks, suspected uterine rupture. OB wants me in the pit.”

you nodded and stepped aside to give her room. “Go.”

Before she moved, she gave you a quick and soft kiss on your cheek. “Thanks for the coffee.”

You smiled, squeezing her hand. “Always. Go save someone.”

She exhaled, a tiny smile forming despite the urgency. “I’ll come find you when I’m out.”

“You better.”

She took a last glance at you, before turning around and heading down the hallway, her coat swinging behind her.

Your work hours dragged on and you finally caught a moment of break, so you decided to grab another coffee and head to the gallery to watch Addisons surgery. When you stepped inside, a few other doctors were already engrossed into the surgery. You spotted alex and took a seat next to him.

“You’re here to watch the surgery or to stare at Montgomery like a creep?”

You smirked. “Can’t I do both?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “At least you admit it.”

“How is it going?” You asked, taking a sip of your coffee.

Alex sighed. “Not good.”

“What is happening?”

He nodded toward the field below. “Thirty-four weeks, suspected uterine rupture. But the tear’s worse than they thought—she’s losing blood fast.”

You leaned forward, watching Addison’s movements—still steady, but sharper, quicker.

“Is the baby okay?” you whispered.

“For now,” Alex said, jaw tight. “Montgomery’s trying to get the kid out, but the bleeding’s messing up her field. She can’t see as well as she needs to.”

Down below, Addison barked an order, urgency creeping into her voice. Your chest tightened at the sight of Addisons tense shoulders. You hated seeing her like this, barely having control over the situation. And you knew how much she hated losing control. Alex caught your concerned look.

“Don’t freak out yet, if someone can handle this situation, it’s her.”

But his tone wasn’t fully sure, and that terrified you. You held your breath as the room below shifted into chaos.

“Okay, she is going for the incision.” You murmured.

You watched Addison’s hands move fast, almost too fast for your eyes to follow. Another surgeon suctioned aggressively, blood clouding the field.

“Damn,” Alex muttered. “She’s still bleeding like crazy.”

Addison’s voice snapped through the OR:

“Clamp. Now. I need more exposure—move the retractor, I can’t see.”

A nurse hurried to adjust. You almost thought Addison might lose her cool, but she didn’t. Suddenly, the heartbeat of the baby dropped and so did your stomach. Addison made a precise cut, hands firm and unwavering despite the blood. A beat later, a weak cry echoed through the OR. The whole gallery let out a shaky exhale in relief. But Addison didn’t stop.

“She’s not done,” Alex murmured. “Mom’s still crashing. She has minutes to control that hemorrhage.” Below, Addison’s jaw tightened as she searched for the bleeding vessel, voice low but urgent:

“There—found it. Clamp.”

You leaned back, the tension in your shoulder eased.

“She did it.” You smiled, hoping she would look up and see you’ve been watching her the whole time. And after she stabilised the bleeding and closed the mother up, her head perked up. Your eyes met hers briefly, and something in Addisons stressed face softened. Still, you knew she wasn’t okay. You had to find her after everything.

The surgery was over, and it left everyone on the surgical team drained and quiet—including Addison. The baby had been transferred to the NICU in critical condition. The mother had survived, but she needed multiple transfusions. The baby’s future seemed uncertain, and there was nothing anyone could do right now. Addison disappeared and you tried to find her everywhere - in the doctor’s lounge, on-call rooms, even in the closets. You sent her a message, which said:

“Sweetheart, where are you?”

After what felt like an eternity, she texted back.

“I am outside.”

You changed out of your work clothes—your shift was over anyway—and headed outside. The morning sun was starting to rise, casting a soft glow over the hospital, mixing with the rain. You spotted Addison sitting on a bench, her mascara smudged, and you couldn’t tell if it was from the rain or from her tears. You took a seat next to her.

“Hey… I searched for you everywhere.”

She didn’t answer right away. Instead she took a shaky exhale. “Sorry.”

You wrapped your arm around her shoulder. “No it’s okay. I was just worried. Are you okay?”

Addison was about to speak, to tell you she was okay and keep her guard up. But she decided otherwise and her head shook slowly. “No. I thought I could handle it.” She murmured. “I always handle it.”

“Hey don’t say that. You did handle it.”

She shook her head, jaw tight. “The baby’s barely holding on. The mom almost died on my table. And I—” Her voice cracked, just a little. “I hate when it’s not enough.”

You reached out and gently brushed a wet strand of hair from her face—rain, tears, you couldn’t tell either.

“It isn’t your job to perform miracles,” you said softly. “You are a doctor, a very amazing one, but not god. Their fate is not in your hands. You tried, and thats what matters.”

Addison leaned back against the bench, closing her eyes like she was too tired to keep them open. You slid your hand into hers, waiting for her to pull away. She didn’t.

You kept talking. “A mentor I admired once said to me: never let a case swallow you whole. You do what you can, step back and breathe. And the next morning you try again.”

Addison eyes blinked open, a soft teary chuckle escaped her lips. “That sounds familiar.”

“Like I said, a mentor I admired.” You smiled. affectionately and genuinely. Addison was not only your girlfriend, but also your mentor. And you admired her work and wise words more than anything.

“Maybe I should start following my own lessons.” She admitted with a sad smile.

“You should.” Her fingers tightened around her, and your thumb brushed over her knuckles in silent reassurance. “You did great in the OR. Seriously. You should have seen the impression on everyone’s face. I can’t list many surgeons who can perform such a challenging surgery like you did.”

the tension in her shoulders loosened slowly but surely. Her head moved to rest on your shoulder and your heart rate picked up a bit. “You praise me too much.” But she smiled, finally.

“No, just telling the truth.”

Addison glanced up, her eyes still wet. When you leaned in, it was gentle, barely there at first, more a question than a kiss. Her breath hitched, and then she answered it, pressing her lips to yours like she was finally letting herself exhale. After a few moments you broke the kiss.

“Go home. You deserve a nice breakfast and a long nap.” You said, brushing your hand over her wet cheek. “And dry clothes.”

“Only if you come with me.” She murmured hopefully.

You smiled. “of course.”

She smiled and pushed herself off the bench, swaying for a moment. “Careful.”

You slipped your hand in hers. “Let’s get you out of the rain before you get sick.”

As you walked toward the parking lot, she leaned just a little closer, shoulder brushing yours.

“Thank you,” she said softly, almost swallowed by the sound of the rain. “For… everything tonight.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I am just make sure you don’t faint after this miserable night.” You opened the passengers seat for her and she settled in, while you warmed up the car.

“And you really gonna cook for me?” She teased, her eyes softened.

“You have no idea. You are gonna taste the best meal you’ve ever had, I swear. I could make eggs with bacon or…”

And before you could finish speaking, she leaned forward and kissed you — gentle, rain-cooled, grateful. A moment that felt like both a promise and a release.

Used to be so easy

To give my heart away

But I found out the hard way

There's a price you have to pay

I found out that love

Was no friend of mine

I should have known

Time after time

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

Leaving New York was one of the easiest decisions.

The most difficult part was leaving without anyone to look back on at the airport. Embarking on a new professional opportunity, a chance you had always dreamed of and precisely why you had studied for most of your life. Finally, the sleepless nights, the headaches, and the years working in hospitals and private practices; it all came down to that moment.

As I was saying, you were on your own. Your best friend, the woman you ended up in love with during your residency and first certification... Addison Montgomery... Shepherd was trying by all means to resuscitate a marriage that was a slow-motion death spiral waiting to happen. The evenings you spent together, whether at her house or your apartment, were put on hold with the excuse that Derek had decided to go home early, and to his wife’s misfortune, he never kept his promise. So both of you, alone, drifted out of touch. 

There was no going back once your ultimate choice was made.

On the same night your plane left New York, the pouring rain carried in each drop a plea, a tear of sorrow, and a pair of angry hands that pushed the woman’s tender body up against the windowpane. Blood, insults, and the departure of the man who was in himself the failure of more than a decade of affection. Derek walked outside the room without hesitation, leaving behind a woman who was emotionally, physically, and mentally traumatized. This only strengthened the sense of abandonment she already felt.

Addison’s first reaction wasn’t to go after her husband or her cheating lover. It was to call you. Her trembling fingers dialed a number that no longer had a signal. She eventually found out in the worst way that she was all by herself. The beeps were redirected to voicemail. The dark night featured dew, rain pounded the roof, and the hum of a house that no longer represented a story.

She hurried to your apartment in the rain and desperately knocked on the door, screaming your name like a merciless prayer. That’s when your neighbor, a woman in her late sixties, stepped out into the hallway and embraced Addison’s silhouette, smaller than she had ever seen her before. The elder entered her own apartment, taking a deep breath as she pulled out a towel and a sweater for Addie, surprising her by the sudden embrace she provided.

The woman’s husky voice sounded like a plea. “Where is she, Dolores?”  

She hadn’t noticed how much she cherished being with you, how you truly made her feel alive, even if only for a few hours together or between surgeries, you were always there with her. 

Until you weren’t there anymore.

When you agreed to fly back to the United States, new job possibilities came to light: one in Seattle, another in New York, and one in Los Angeles. 

As a result of your successful work with children in Africa, with additional teams to provide palliative care for the sickest and improve the quality of life for the tribes. It wasn’t predominantly about medicine, and certainly, the healthcare professionals who stayed wouldn’t let your work die. Given the magnitude of your worldwide reputation, your expertise would be in circulation and tremendously appreciated anywhere; you were well aware of that.

Yet all the places highlighted seemed to relate to a story.

New York held the weight of an ambiguous love, a friendship that dissolved into something platonic, and a thunderstorm of feelings you understood you would probably never forget, and as for Seattle... Well, you were definitely not one for the cold rain. Although the proposition of ​​working with one of your former professors seemed like a promising alternative and a trip to the small roots you still had in the country. What was remaining for you was Los Angeles.

The bright fluorescent lights of the medical facility were indeed an element that discomforted your vision. After two years in a hot environment, where the sun was practically burning hot and the moon reflected warm shadows, that artificial light still made your optic nerves dry for a brief second, but it was something you would deal with head-on. 

On your way to the nurses’ station, you exhibited high-heeled boots, black jeans that, for God’s sake, hugged your sleek leg muscles like a thin layer of skin, and finally, the creamy silk blouse that emphasized your eyes and the rich shade of your natural long locks. One of the female attendees who was chatting quickly gazed into your eyes; apparently, the perfume you had chosen to apply this morning got there seconds before your presence was acknowledged.

Armed with an almost sinful smile and a persuasiveness that was potentially just a breath away, your accent sounded a notch deeper than usual. “Good morning, ladies. Could you tell me where I can find Dr... Charlotte King?”

Soon after taking over as head of pediatrics and neonatology, your work at the hospital only taught you even more brilliance in the medical field. The residents and interns consistently expressed their desire to work under your name, and as a result, an increasing number of patients were referred to your care. 

Despite your professional life taking off like a rocket, the beach house where you had been sleeping seemed to lack life. It was a furnished house with two bedrooms and a large balcony. Adorned for quiet sunny days, but it still seemed uninhabited, even after two years of residing in that place.

You had few friends; they were always cheerful and looking out for you in any circumstance you could anticipate, even though you only saw them when they were performing surgery at the hospital or when Charlotte insisted you go to her private practice for dinner and then give her a ride back to her house.

Positioned toward the cafeteria table, a cup of chamomile tea with warm milk and a word search magazine occupied your concentration. It was Friday night, and you were seeking the perfect opportunity to cool off and still stimulate your cognitive abilities. However, Charlotte appeared to have other intentions when she collapsed in the chair next to you and removed the Care Bears customized pen from your fingertips.

“Do you even realize what day of the week it is?” she arched her raised eyebrows in a mocking gesture. She noted that your intense engagement with work had prevented you from dictating space-time.

“Do I truly need to know?” the smile on her face emphasized that the next words would be like walking on broken glass with no shoes, so naturally, Charlotte established something you couldn’t argue against, even if you wanted to.

“Look, you never exit this hospital. When you’re not here, you’re in the lab working or in some operating room, changing the course of neonatal surgery. Your house is a cold place. In Los Angeles! You need to jazz up your personal life, dear.” her hand was covering yours, an act of concern and reassurance. “What do you think about dinner with the girls and then going to karaoke at that gay bar downtown?”

You let out a deep sigh, closed your eyes, and let your body loosen up for a second, then immediately broke into fits of giggles. “You should have started off with ‘gay bar’ instead of insulting me for being a workaholic.”

The moment Naomi hugged you, a signature aroma filled your memories. It was a fragrance you were sure you had been devoted to; it was completely distinct from the woody smell Naomi traditionally adopted; it was sweet, and you could feel that warmth in the bottom of your abdomen again, one that had left you in tears in the New York airport. Breathing deeply, just the four of you in the restaurant, it was almost impossible to get your thoughts out of that bittersweet aroma, and considering how Violet constantly appeared to be ready to vomit all night, it would be common to assume that both of them were withholding some information.

“What made you switch your perfume, Nai?” finally, the question that had been burning in your throat took its proper form. Everyone praised your art of analyzing behavior and, even better, persuading your prey to communicate precisely what you were trying to find out, not simply what you would probably want to hear.

“I... Didn’t.” she was cautious, which made her raise the glass to her mouth, where she took a mouthful of wine and glanced away at Charlotte. “Actually, Charlotte gave me a refill of the same perfume I bought for my birthday; something must have changed in the formula.”

Your jaw set, brain processing far quicker than gears. “Maybe... It’s charming; it reminded me of that old friend.” this made the two brunettes in front of you exchange a nervous stare. They agreed that they couldn’t keep the information to themselves for long.

“Actually, maybe this perfume belongs to the person you’re thinking of.” Violet let the cat out of the bag; it was now or never... well, not “never,” but a big change and possibly one of the most challenging parts since the beginning.

The three women learned about your chapter of the story with Addison Montgomery; everyone there had a previous relationship with her, but they were equally estranged when her marriage to Shepherd claimed over half of her social life. Despite being a feminist, Addison still maintained faith in marrying a man whose individuality was a walking red flag. This left her somewhat more alone than she was ever supposed to be.

“Thank goodness I’m not coming to the clinic soon. I don’t picture how I’d respond to looking at her again after so long…” you expressed. It was unexpected to think that even after four years absent from contact, that woman who was your best friend and first platonic romantic partner still influenced your mental picture of time, or potentially it was the dizziness that caused this downward spiral of mental chatter.

At that point, Charlotte had chosen to ask for the bill, paying for the weekly dinner as they had all agreed over time. The two doctors decided to go home while you and your best friend drove down to the bar. Charlotte was definitely more excited to go than you had previously been.

Upon arriving, you both marched directly to one of the tables most distanced from the crowd.

“Tonight we’re going to drink to get wasted and probably fuck. You, my boo, need to get laid.” the blonde tossed her cards on the table, waving to one of the waiters passing by, ordering two cocktails.

“We definitely shouldn’t talk about my sexual activities.”

Eight glasses of tequila and maybe two cocktails later, you found yourselves dancing to the loud music. The dance floor was overflowing, bodies sweating with heat and desire or just the euphoria of knowing they were in a welcoming space. As the night grew darker, Charlotte had successfully kissed two women and a polyamorous married couple and would very likely go home with them. As for you... Just glances, tangible flirtation for a while until a lock of red hair magnetized your attention. She was tall, with shapely legs and a generous cleavage, the devil walking on earth. Your mouth was watering, and for a brief period, so did the woman standing in front of you. When did she get so close?

“Adeline. Nice to meet you.” she extended her hand to greet you, and you responded to the invitation, taking her warm hand and bringing it to your lips, leaving a harmless peck on her knuckles.

After introducing yourself, she went directly to the point, setting her hand somewhere between your neck and loose hair, caressing the nape of your scalp, and scraping her sharp nails against your skin. Her lips were soft and salty, and yet she grew too smooth through the lipstick. Your rough fingers caressed the gentle curves of her hips, moving up until they brought her body between your legs, letting themselves be guided by touch, by imagination... Unfortunately, for your senses, all you saw was the ghost of Christmas past.

Even when you landed in a bed that wasn’t yours, in a room that would certainly not be yours, when between your legs was a glorious woman devouring you as if her life depended on it, your moans were real, of course they were, uninhibited, unfiltered, seductive like a promise to your own brain. Through all the whining, your heart screamed her name. “Addie, Addie please…” inevitably, you reached the peak, with her sweet smell in your head and the image of her red hair resting on your legs. The illusion, once again, in its purest form.

Later the following morning, you leave the apartment with barely a trace, your clothes still retaining the scent of the previous night. Looking down the street, you realized Charlotte had all your belongings, and by the late morning, she was almost certainly at the clinic. 

You slipped your phone out of your jeans pocket and called the emergency number, leaving a short message on the voicemail. “Hey, Charlie. Uh... I’m about ten minutes from the clinic. I’m going to pick up my car, okay? Bye, see you in a minute.” your voice was harsher than expected, maybe even dryer. That’s how you ended up at the clinic with a large cup of coffee and shades, probably stolen from a stack in a very crowded store since they still held the price tag on the temple.

Perhaps it was the alcohol entirely vanishing from your body or the sunglasses blurring your perspective, but less than five steps away, Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery lowered her frame on the reception desk, arms loosening as she exchanged words with Dell. 

At that exact point, the world immediately began to slow down, your cardiac rhythm pounding in your ears, a sudden fever sending chills down your cervical spine. Equivalent to a ricocheting bullet, a wave of emotional states that had long ago been bottled away and buried seven feet under the surface. That’s when the receptionist’s attention was drawn straight to your frozen silhouette. He called out your name in a cheerful announcement but quickly tracked the change in the atmosphere; during that moment, the redhead realized who that unconventional last name belonged to. 

It was like seeing an angel, she remembered. For how much time had she been waiting for that comeback? All the forces of the universe were always playing comically against her: first the end of her marriage with Derek, then the love affair with Mark that eventually ended in an unborn child, and then the three-way romance that concluded with one of the interns in Seattle being heavily driven along by her ex-husband. 

She needed a fresh start in Los Angeles, and what a twist of fate, this was the perfect place to reunite with an old flame... A burning spark that in Addison’s heart probably would have never been extinguished, for your joyful laughter was forever written in her soul. Even though your groundbreaking achievements in medicine were honored across the globe, the redhead in question had never thought your paths would cross again.

Addison was at a loss for words while entering the apartment after that rainy night. The decor was untouched, and your fragrance soaked through each room. However, the apartment became lifeless due to your absence. Not just from the residence, that neighborhood, or the country, you left her life. It happened so carefully that, amidst the waves of tears on the soft couch, wrapped in your sheets, with your perfume enchanting all her sensibilities, she watched as practically nothing could make sense anymore without you. Friday nights, rosé wine bottles, and even the hospital were no longer interesting.

Used to be so easy

To fall in love again

But I found out the hard way

It's a road that leads to pain

I found out that love

Was more than just a game

You're playing to win

But you'll lose just the same

The leaves danced like poetry in the collision of glances that undoubtedly carried hundreds of emotions, including relief and doubt; time did seem to fade away, resembling a scene from an Old West duel. Addison was the first to take the very first stride towards that wave of uncertainty, her heart also humming as if she had just completed a marathon in high heels. You could never adequately express how much you treasured those glowing eyes, so breathtaking even after so much time.

The expressions on both of your faces were exceptionally hard to read; Addison maintained her posture even though her eyes said the exact opposite. With a painful lump loosening in her throat, she muttered in a silent breath, “You're alive.”

A chuckle escaped your lips. You could deny any geographical separation; at that moment it was obvious that nothing had truly changed.

She was the same Addison you had fallen in passionate love with, and you were the charismatic and outspoken woman she had let into her heart and soul. Your eyes were basically the same, calm and comforting. Hair remained perfect and even more voluminous, and the sideways smile appeared, something Montgomery dreamed of witnessing again. She could say with all her tenderness that it was a dream; even so, you commented, “No need to sound so disappointed.”

“There you are!” your best friend Charlotte’s voice cracked, pulling both of you out of the mental space cultivated by nostalgia. The blonde came striding in with her hurried aura, meeting you. She smiled openly, a hint of mischief shining through simply because she knew how well your night had been spent. “Here’s your car key. It’s parked in my spot. Your purse is there, too.” she said, handing you the keychain that holds your house keys, your car key, and a red pom-pom along with a pendant of your personalized initials.

Addison examined that exchange of information with a furrowing eyebrow before clearing her throat and captivating the blonde's attention, who continued with a smile on her face and pretty much an infallible plan to fulfill a theoretical assumption she had in mind, due to your background with the clinic’s newest employee.

After greeting Montgomery, Charlotte immediately turned her attention to you, “Can you pick me up when my shift at the hospital is over?”

Your hands were sweaty, your face flushed from Charlotte's lack of filter. “Of course. Let me know when you’re finished.” you managed to reply, pondering the presence of your past right in front of you.

“You're a sweetheart! See you later, darling.” Charlotte said, standing on tiptoe and sealing her lips to your cheek. Before you could realize it, she was gone, and Addison was staring at your face with even more hesitation.

A deep breath, a masked relief, was all you needed to summon the courage to finally proceed along Addison’s steps, guiding her by the arm until you reached the empty office. Just when the redhead was standing in the middle of the room, she could hear the door lock and your stride to the leather couch, where you sat quietly and extended your arms for her to do the same as you.

“So... It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” she began, tucking a piece of her red hair behind her ear.

“You cut your hair.” you pointed out, studying how that cut emphasized her authoritative yet charming facial features.

Addison couldn’t hide her bright smile, remembering one of the times you had inspired her to cut her hair, but she never had the courage to, mainly because Derek thought she would look older. “And you let yours grow... It looks stunning.”

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

At that moment, the conversation descended into a collection of past emotional memories about how Addison felt distant in so many specific instances, but also in relation to how she lost your friendship so unexpectedly, leaving a wound in her heart. On the other hand, you failed to mention your burning love for her, only emphasizing how much you missed the friendship you two had founded and how, over time, the strings that held together that attachment had lost their way or essentially headed down different paths, as was to be expected. You talked about your two years of service in Africa, about the sleepless nights caring for children and mothers so young they barely could comprehend what was to come in their lives. She told you about the love affairs that adjusted her standpoint on life, directing her to Los Angeles. To you.

All this exchange was abruptly interrupted by both of your cell phones ringing, announcing a hospital emergency. Immediately, heading to the parking lot, you offered her a ride, and together, you went to St. Ambrose. In a very quick change of clothes into surgical scrubs, your chief resident detailed the case that was being transported by ambulance, and with your instructions, the team was ready to handle it. Addison was watching your conduct, waiting to do her part. 

That case moved along like a smooth breeze, both doctors operating together as if they had been doing it for years, observing and anticipating each other’s precise movements so that the patient would finally become stable along with the baby, who would be born prematurely if the women weren’t so good at their respective specialties.

“Good work there.” Addison emphasized, catching your eye as you scrubbed your hands after the surgery.

You grinned, cheerful; you had always fantasized about that instant. “Thank you... Likewise, you haven’t lost your abilities with your hands.” a tender phrase of flirtation escaped your lips. From where? You had no idea, but whenever she was around, your filters dissolved like an uninhibited waterfall.

She giggled, feeling her cheeks heat up with the blush that observation induced. After that surgery, nothing would ever be the same, and you could feel the change in the surroundings as soon as you stumbled out of that operating room.

That week prior to their first mutual reconciliation talk, things at the hospital soon started to collapse completely. As more potentially fatal cases arrived at their door, schedules became chaotic, day could turn into night, and shifts could no longer be twenty-four hours but rather further extended. There was definitely no time for naps between surgeries; just a coffee and a muffin would be enough for that wave of babies, children, and mothers with health complications. Amidst all that chaos, your thoughts traveled straight to Addison, who was taking on the night shifts so she could also be in attendance at medical appointments at the private clinic. The purple scrubs stood out; only neonatal attendants wore them, and as opposed to you, Addison was looking like a glowing goddess in them, which made your heart race when she smiled at you, her eyes exhausted from a week without a break from work.

Your attire was anything but traditional, and Addison considered it your distinctive style. Working with children and their mothers, your scrubs had small handmade stars, and for a few days she swore she saw some embroidered designs there too, on the hem of the shirt and pants—maybe a Care Bear or a Disney character. When she approached you, you didn’t pull back from a tight hug, keeping your face snug against her neck as if that would take away any tiredness from your body. She felt exactly the same. Your perfume activated her senses, causing her to cling even more tightly to you.

So many years

Since I've seen your face

But here in my heart

There's an empty space

You used to be

“Are you doing okay?” you asked, whispering in her ear and attaching one hand to the nape of her neck, caressing it as if the entire world had simply stopped in that empty hallway, where nurses were shifting from one side to the other, checking on patients.

She breathed in, slowly detaching you from the tight embrace, and when she caught your eye, her throbbing exhaustion made her guide you to the first on-call room in the corridor. 

“I need a rest, and so do you, so come here and let’s rest.” she demanded, lying down on the bed and pressing her back against the wall, leaving enough space for you to lie down next to her.

It wasn’t something you were completely used to, but another thing you missed those nights in New York where you both shared a bed or a couch. When you lay down next to Addison, her arms found your waist, and she buried her face in your neck. Your arms worked their way around her body, wrapping her in a warm and cozy embrace. Your heart pounded in your chest, that hidden passion coming back like a high-speed train, overpowering your senses and driving hot tears to well up in your eyes. 

A pout escaped your lips; you had waited so many years for this moment, however platonic it might be. “I love you, Addison Montgomery.” you blurted out, holding low your voice. 

She wasn’t asleep.

Both bodies lingered affectionately in that small bed, intertwined, maintaining the warm feeling of comfort and the full attraction of two hearts that had been bruised on their way back to each other. Addison was seeking a fresh start, oblivious that coming back to the past would only heal all the fears and frustrations she had built up from toxic relationships with her former best friends. It was this moment that she understood that the problem wasn’t her and her misconceptions about falling in love with friends; no, the problem was that none of those friends were you.

You were the one who was holding her hand through questionable choices without question, the one who also embraced her when things didn’t go as originally planned. Addison vividly remembered the wedding day; even knowing you weren’t one of the bridesmaids, you were beside her and muttered in her ear that everything would be alright, that it was a mutual decision, and that getting married had always been her dream. She knew, deep down, that the union was for status and ego. Even so, you were there, in a crimson dress so exquisite that she wondered twice about the need to go down on your body and devour you completely, even knowing there were only minutes remaining before she had to walk towards the Shepherd family name. 

Archer took her, and she looked so beautiful in her wedding dress... You felt that still-growing passion tighten, grow to the point where tears of pride faded and eventually turned into tears of sorrow, because witnessing the love of your life marrying a man who didn’t deserve even a fraction of the woman she is was genuinely torturous. After the “I do.” Montgomery’s bright eyes searched for your figure somewhere among the family members. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find you. 

For the first time that late afternoon, she felt half her heart tighten. Because she had affection for Derek, and she also felt that you were holding back the most tender and joyful aspects of her.

In the following years, you were constantly present, and you were frequently at game nights, playing doubles with Mark Sloan. She was jealous of that, of the close relationship you two shared. For a long time, Mark had a particular aspect of you that she wished belonged to her. It wasn’t a sexual affair; you were always very open about your sexuality, something she respected given she was a coward in admitting that potentially her happy ending wasn’t with the current husband at the time. You and Mark talked about women openly and even had a little battle to find out who could collect more numbers on the nights you both went out. Even if Addison was jealous, she noticed that you respected her marriage and would never bring up that kind of subject with her, a friendship about intimate and lustful matters without judgment.

In your arms, Addison could leave her heart open to be taken care of, broken, or rescued from an anguish she had experienced her whole life. After four years without you, she came to figure out that time would never be her true friend, that you might have grown so much that you would certainly never let her come back into your life.

Then again, you were intertwined in that moment, and even though she was ready to ask more about the conversation she witnessed between you and Charlotte, she also knew that you would never lay down with another woman if you were in a committed romantic relationship with the doctor.

“Please, Addison. Stop thinking. I haven’t slept in two weeks, so please... Let me have this break.” you positioned yourself more comfortably in bed, consequently bringing your faces one millimeter away from the woman in your arms. Your breaths became one, and at this crucial moment, Addison couldn’t rest.

Her hand reached up to meet your face, emerald eyes tracing every delicate feature before she could touch, index finger memorizing the curve of your nose, the small freckles on your rosy cheek. You opened your eyes, conscious of what was happening. When your impulses became louder than the indecision in your subconscious, you moved inches closer, brushing your nose against hers in an affectionate caress. Addison felt her skin tingle, closing her eyes to feel that exchange of affection more intensely. She felt your hand travel down the fabric of her scrub top and move inside, finally touching the skin of her back, caressing it with delicate fingers, drawing her body closer. She wrapped one leg tight around your waist, lying down with half her body pressed against yours.

“I missed you so much…” she said, swallowing hard.

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

You should get up and move on, abandoning any thoughts that held you in this position and never gazing at the past that way all over again. You called all three of your friends on the night you left for Africa, but your cell phone vibrated once. Somehow, Derek showed up, wishing you a good flight and letting you know he was going home early to surprise his wife. That night, Addison and Mark didn’t answer the phone. With your chest cramping from anticipating what had been happening, the first few minutes of the trip felt suffocating. Heavy breathing, hot tears, and irreparable anguish. You fell asleep halfway to your destination, as your body was weakened. Over time, you acquired the ability to be free of the anchors that surrounded your heart, allowing you to radiate happiness beyond the need for societal restrictions. You learned to smile openly, to dance in the rain, and to see life from a completely different point of view.

That’s why you refused to leave. This time, without marital partners or lovers involved. No forcing yourself to pretend that your heart wasn’t holding out for hers. You stayed simply because love doesn’t just vanish overnight; respect, affection, pride, and the feeling of friendship—all of that was the culmination of the reasons why. From the minute you fell in love to the moment your senses had to pause to breathe, break down the situation, mature, and eventually, be able to surrender.

“Now you’re the one thinking out loud.” Addison chuckled, looking up and resting her head on her hand.

You carefully approached the door, unlocked it, and waited for the redhead. "Let's go home, Addie." both smiled brightly, which was just what you needed. Home.

Though the days come and go

There is one thing I know: I've still got the blues for you

📌 ∶ @jayquery , @lizaornot , @autisticbiologistmess , @taliiiaasteria.

⸻ english is not my first language, but I hope you enjoyed it. constructive feedback is always welcomed! let me know if you want to be tagged in future fanfics. thanks for reading! 💞

I’m accepting requests! if you enjoy my writing and want to read a story about a specific character, I’ll do my best to make it happen!

a special kiss to Lai, who encouraged me every step of the way in writing this story. I love you forever, baby. 💋

So, between putting out fires both metaphorical and literal you had forgotten to take your meds. Only realising when you got out of the car at the hospital. 

You held in a groan upon realising how terrible this was going to make your life for the next twelve-hour shift. The first thing you decided to do was to go and get a big cup of coffee before changing into your scrubs. 

Once you were equipped with a massive cup of coffee and changed into your scrubs you trailed after Izzie to find your resident. It didn’t take long to find Dr Bailey who was short and proficient in assigning you all to your attendings for the shift.

“Issie you’re with Montgomery. George you’re with Shepard.” You kind of zoned out after that. As you were all dismissed you made a beeline for Issie. 

“Hey can we please swap?” You begged. 

“Why? No, you just don’t want to work with Cristina’s boyfriend.” Issie said seeming to stick with her guns on this one. 

“Please Issie,” you huffed a sigh before pulling her close to you and whispering in her ear. “I forgot my meds today so I won’t be able to stand long enough to perform surgery in the OR. Montgomery doesn’t have any surgeries scheduled I checked. Please can we swap?” You said explaining and doing your best not to seem to desperate for her to say yes. 

“Yes. Ok, fine. But you owe me a coffee after this.” She said giving in. 

You thanked her and gave her a quick hug before heading off to the NICU. Unfortunately, as soon as you made it to the lift your eyes caught on the out of order sign and sighed feeling this was going to be a long and hard day. 

Giving a resigned roll of your eyes, because this was just your luck, you checked the time on your watch. You had barely five minutes to get up to the fourth floor and you had never hated the maintenance department more in your life. 

Once you had made it up to the NICU you felt like there was significantly less air in the hospital as you huffed out exhausted short breathes. Bracing yourself on your knees you tried to control the gasping breaths you were raggedly taking.

Suddenly you heard a voice behind you.

“Do you need a minute?” The voice of Addison Montgomery said and you cringed knowing your attending for the day had seen you struggling to breath after walking up four flights of stairs. 

“Did you run up here?” She asked and you blushed slightly. 

“Something like that.” You mumbled as you straightened up to meet her eyes.

“Let’s move onto rounds then seeings you’re a sucker for a bit of masochism this fine Monday morning.” She teased and it did nothing the help the pink that dusted your cheeks. 

As you and Addison headed into the NICU you began going around through the charts. You bounced on your toes as she talked not wanting the blood to stop flowing properly around your body. 

Addison raised an eyebrow at you but said nothing as you moved on to the next baby. 

As the two of you walked over you noticed her watching you closely which only made you fidget more. As the two of you went through the rest of the babies’ charts in the NICU you continued to bounce on your toes. 

“You know L/n, the only liquid I want on these floors is that of labouring mothers.” Addison joked. “If you need to you can go.” She teased and your blush depend. 

“N-no I’m ok.” You said stumbling slightly over your words in the process of trying to stay still. 

As the two of you moved to the OB ward and began making rounds upon the expectant mothers you tried to still your movements as much as possible. 

However, it did make your head spin and your vision dip slightly. POTS was not for the weak. 

As you went to leave the last room your vision was dark around the edges and you did your best not to fall over. As you stumbled slightly tripping over your feet, you felt strong arms around your midsection. The scent of vanilla became stronger as Addison held onto you for a second before her voice found your ears. 

“L/n? You, ok?” She asked her brow furrowed in concern at your strange behaviour. 

“Sorry, must be low iron. Im … on my period.” You said blushing as you realised you just told your attending you were bleeding from a very intimate place. 

“Alright. Do you need anything?” She asked as the two of you moved into the hallway.

“No.” You cleared your throat, “No.” you said in a more confident voice. “I’m ok thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll probably just be working on charting in y office today anyway.” Addison says. 

The two of you walked to her office chatting about an intresting case from the previous week. 

The two you sat at Addisons desk and began to sift through the endless paperwork that came with being a doctor. 

“Damn. Charting really seems to catch up to you doesn’t it.” You joked and Addison hummed in agreement as she didn’t look up from the chart she was fixing. 

The two of you continued charting for a few more hours until it was time for lunch. You had made good progress and an hour early you had slipped an earbud in that was covered by your hair. You couldn’t stand the silence and much preferred to listen to music. 

“Well, I’d say we’ve earnt a break. How about we go get some lunch and a coffee?” Addison asked and you readily agreed looking forward to a good stretch. 

Standing up you swayed on your feet again as Addison shot you another concerned look. 

“Really L/n? Do I need to draw bloods and check your iron levels myself?” She asked with a teasing tone that was edging into concerned. 

As the two of you headed to go down to the cafeteria you started towards the stairs. 

“I don’t think so Dr L/n. You’re instead on your feet as it is. No way I’m letting you walk down five flights of stairs like this.” She said in her doctor voice. 

“Four.” You grinned. 

“Excuse me?” She asked seeing confused. 

“There’s four flights of stairs.” You say with a shit eating grin. 

“You’re lucky I like you L/n.” Addison said with a soft smile back. 

As the two of you stared each out down the lift pinged and the two of you stepped inside. 

The lift shuddered as the doors a closed and your mind flashed back to the out of order sign from this morning. Hoping they had resolved the problem. The lift started descending slowly. Much, much to slowly. Before suddenly it lurched and dropped. Rather quickly it descended before slamming to a stop. 

Your head spun and you fought the urge to throw up as you blindly reached out, your vision dipping as you lost consciousness. It felt oddly reminiscent of the tilt table test you had undergone last year as a part of your diagnosis. 

At the same time as you passing out, the fall jarred Addison usually unshakable stance and her ankle rolled to the side in her red high heels. 

Gently she slid down the wall not able to take the pressure on her ankle without it screaming in protest. 

After Addison brushed the hair from her face, she saw you sprawled out on the floor. Stifling a groan as she moved over to you, addison pulled your head into her lap. Taking note of your pale face, she used a penlight to check your pupillary reflexes and text for a concussion. Even if it was rather her ex-husbands specialty, she was still a doctor after all. 

“Y/n.” She said softly tapping your cheek. “Y/n wake up.” She pressed stroking your cheek now with the back of her finger. 

As she held your head still in her lap she pulled out her phone to check if she had any bars. Unfortunately, elevator shafts were not well known for their reception. No bars.

Turning her attention back to you she began to time how long you were out, not liking that you still hadn’t come around. 

And despite your pupils reacting a little slower than she’d like you didn’t have anything more than a mild concussion. And you had a small cut on your forehead that was gently weeping blood that had begun to trickle down your temple. 

Blowing out a long breath that tapered into a sigh Addison genlty went back to stroking your cheek to try and bring you around. 

“Y/n. Wake up sweetheart.” Addison said softly, her concern only mounting as you stayed unresponsive in her lap. 

With soft fingers Addison began to brush back your hair, gently moving the strands so they wouldn’t bother you, not that they did that much whilst you were out cold. 

After another beat your eyelids began to flutter and Addison was quick to notice. 

“Y/n, honey, wake up sweetie.” She said softly worried to make a better assesment now you were waking up. “Come one sweetheart, your alright.” She said softly, her hands carding through your hair gently. 

With a soft groan you began to frown as you came around to a sharp pain in your head.

“Addison?” You asked bringing a hand to your head to shield your eyes from the light. 

“Y/n.” She replied in relief. 

“My head hurts.” You grumbled and Addison laughed. 

“I imagine it does.” She said as she carefully checked your eyes again. You sucked in a breath as the harsh light. “How are you feeling? Headache? Nausea? Dizziness?” Addison questioned.

“Headache, yes. Nausea, jury’s out. Dizziness, no, but probably yes, if I move.” You said hand still covering your eyes. 

Gently Addison pried your hand away laying her cool palm over your eyes, you sighed in relief at her slightly cold hands. 

“You feeling okay otherwise?” She asked softly mindful you had said you had a headache.

“Yeah. Yes, I’m ok. Are you alright?” You asked your mind starting to work again. 

“Twisted my ankle but otherwise I’m fine. I’m more worried about you right now. Do you know why you passed out? Is there anything I should know? Because at the moment you’re in my care and I can’t look after you without knowing all the facts.” She said and you winced as you adjusted yourself, moving to prop yourself up on your elbows.

“Ahh ah ah. No, stay down sweetheart.” Addison said pressing her hand to your chest to gently push you back down into her lap.

“I should take a look at your ankle.” You said.

“Barely hurts anymore.” She deadpanned, “You’re avoiding the question.” She said with a frown. “You’re not just on your period, are you?” She asked and you blushed to the tips of your ears. 

“Well, it certainly doesn’t help.” You grumbled. 

“Help what? Seriously L/n this is like pulling teeth.” She huffed. 

“What happened to Y/n? Dr Montgomery.” You teased. 

“Well, seeing’s you’ve made yourself at home in my lap I thought we had progressed to a first name basis.” She said. “Now Seriously, you’re going to tell me what’s wrong or so help me god-“ 

“I forgot my meds this morning.” You blurted out, playing with your fingers and avoiding eye contact. 

“Meds for what.” She asked and you mumbled something under your breath. 

“I couldn’t hear that sweetie. Meds for what Y/n?” She asked again softly turning your head to face her with her fingers gently holding your chin. 

“POTS.” You said softly.

“Pots?” Addison repeated. 

“It stands for postural- “ “Orthostatic tachycardia, yes Y/n I do know what POTs is. What I don’t understand is how you’ve managed to keep that little fact to yourself for so long.” She asked with nothing but kindness lingering in her eyes. 

“The meds certainly help. And on a bad day the others trade off for whoever has the least surgical cases. That way we both win.” You said and she frowned. 

“Is that why you’re with me so often?” Addison asked softly.

“That and I enjoy working with you Dr Montgomery.” You said with a soft smile. 

“I thought it was Addison right now.” She teased. 

“Alright. It’s because I enjoy working with you Dr Addison.” You grinned and Addison rolled her eyes and huffed out a short chuckle. “And I also really am on my period right now so it was a two for one special.” You said and Addison laughed properly this time. 

“Damn L/n the universe really hates you huh?” She grinned. 

“Well personally I blame all you attendings for constantly taking advantage of the elevator’s emergency stop button. It was bound to stop working after the years of abuse it’s been through.” You said grinning. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about their L/n.” Addison said. 

“Im sure you don’t Montgomery.” You said with a teasing lilt in your tone. 

“I guess all we can do now is sit and wait.” Addison said. 

“Well, I doubt we have good reception right now anyway. Too bad, this would be the perfect place to watch a good movie.” You said. 

“Really? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” She asked with an amused look. 

“Think about it, theres nobody to bother us for at least a good half hour. We could make good headway on a movie in that time addie.” You said with a loopy smile. 

Addison smiled down at you not missing the nickname you had called her. “You defiantly have a concussion, Y/n/n.” She teased brushing a strand of hair out of your face with a gentle touch. 

“Excuse me,” you said acting offended as you put a hand on your chest. “My great ideas shall not be accredited to my alleged concussion.” You said in mock offence. 

“Sure. Sure. Because as a doctor I can only make alleged diagnosis. You have a concussion L/n. No doubt about it.” She said with a teasing lilt in her tone. 

“Can I see your CT then Dr Montgomery?” You asked with a lopsided grin.

“Sure. As soon as we get out of here, I’ll take you straight down to get a CT myself sweetheart.” She said with a wink and you groaned. 

“That’s not what I meant. I do NOT need a CT thank you addie.” You said flashing here your best puppy eyes. 

“What happened to Dr Montgomery?” She teased. “And yes. You are one hundred percent getting a CT when we get out of here. I can either take you down or I can get Derek to do it.” She said with a devilish grin and you groaned. 

“No. Not Derek. Anyone but Derek addie.” You whined and she smirked at you. 

“How about … Dr Montgomery takes you then?” She asked and you nodded with a loopy smile. Something about her referring to herself in the third person was undeniably hot for some reason. 

“I would love that Dr Addie.” You laughed and she cracked a smile, pulling you closer in her lap while being mindful not to throw your head around too much because of the potential head injury you may or may not be sporting. 

Just as she finished situating you in a slightly more comfortable position there was a grinding noise just before the lift dropped a few floors. The screech of the metal on metal hurt your head and your vision was swimming. 

As the lift lurched Addison was careful to try and stabilise your head, not wanting you to get hurt further. When the lift jolted to a stop, she was quick to asses any damage. 

“Y/n? Y/n. Open your eyes sweetheart.” She pressed gently stroking your cheek thinking you had passed out again.

You hadn’t. Your headache was simply ramping up from the noise and the fact your head was spinning slightly. 

“‘M awake Addie.” You mumbled and Addison sighed with relief. “I didn’ pass out. Just dizzy.” You said not opening your eyes still. 

“That’s not a good sign y/n.” She said sounding much more alert. 

“I do think I know that.” You said with a grin as Addison gently pulled out the pocket light again to assess your pupils’ reaction. 

Carefully she lifted one eyelid and gently flashed the light in your eyes not without complaint from you though as the light made your vision spin more. 

“Ow stop.” You said weakly swatting her hand away. Gently she took your hands in one of hers and rested them atop your chest. 

“Shh y/n you know I have to check your head injury isn’t getting worse. Just squeeze my hand, ok?” She said and you let out a small whimper only making you more mortified.

Addison was careful as she checked your other pupil before her soft fingers began stroking your cheek. 

“You with me sweetheart?” She asked softly mindful of the headache you had. 

“Yeah.” You mumbled and Addison sighed softly in relief. 

“Alright. We should be getting out of here soon. If I hadn’t left my pager in my locker this might have been a bit better.” She sighed. 

“My battery’s dead in mine.” You frowned and she huffed a short laugh. 

“Of course it is.” Addison said with a playful and amused grin. 

It was quiet for a second as both of you listened to the quietness in the elevator shaft. You were both listening for the sounds of a rescue but it seemed either the walls were too thick to hear anything or nobody had noticed yet. 

“Addison?” You asked softly. 

“Yes honey?” Addison responded.

“I don’t feel great.” You mumbled and Addison looked down at the pale pallor your face had taken on.

“What hurts?” She asked swapping back to doctor mode. 

“Nothing new I’m just dizzy. Lifts spinning.” You said shutting your eyes in order to get rid of the swirling colours that were playing around the edges of your vision. 

“Alright. You definitely need a head CT. We should be getting out of here soon and I’ll see to it that you’re taken care of. Okay?” She asked with one of her hands softly rubbing your bicep. 

“Sounds good.” You said with a small half smile. “How’s your ankle?” You asked suddenly remembering her falling. 

“Its alright. I don’t think it was even twisted really, doesn’t hurt anymore and there’s no swelling.” Addison said as she felt the joint in her hands to check for any further issues only to find none. 

“That’s good.” You said absentmindedly. 

“Means I can come with you to make sure you get your head CT.” Addison said softly.

“Addison?” You said after a second. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m tired.” You said and despite the alarm bells going off in Addison head she knew you were an intern and were probably tired pre-head injury too.

“Close your eyes. Rest a little, but know I will be waking you up to check your head until we can confirm it’s not an issue.” Addison said and you didn’t have the energy to argue as you drifted off. 

Addison was studying your relaxed features carefully as you slept. You looked younger without the pinched lines in your brow or the wrinkle in your forehead. Both were products of the stress associated with the job but she hadn’t seen you without them before and you looked … well, you looked peaceful. Tired but peaceful. 

Addison couldn’t help herself as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear as you slept. Checking her watch, she counted the minutes until she was going to wake you up and reassess. It was cute the way you slept. Mouth slightly open and occasionally twitching in your sleep. 

After a good half hour Addison was getting ready to wake you when the doors began to separate. Suddenly she heard Richard’s voice as the doors were pried open. 

“Addison?” Richard called. “Are you hurt? Anyone with you?” He asked. 

“I’m okay. But I have Dr L/n here and she’s hurt. Needs a head CT at the very least.” Addison responded.

The lift seemed to be stopped halfway below the floor so it was a step up to get out. 

“I’ll send someone for a stretcher.” He began but your voice cut in.

“I’m fine. I can walk.” You said and Addison almost jumped not realising you were awake. 

“Alright l/n.” Richard called and Addison helped you sit up.

Once both of you were standing Addison stepped up out of the elevator first before offering her hand to you and pulling you up also. 

Unfortunately, Richard may have passed on the stretcher but had called for a wheelchair. 

“Nuh uh. Not happening. I can walk just fine.” You began, crossing your arms and Addison fixed you with her best attending stare and you felt your resolve crumbling. 

“Very much happening L/n. Now sit and I’ll drive or I’ll call Karev and he can drive.” She said and you glared at your shoes but sat in the damn chair. 

Once Addison had pushed you to the CT room, she helped you onto the bed and got you settled before heading out to watch the monitor for results of the scan. 

Once Addison was satisfied you did not, in fact, have a concussion she took you up to her office and gently laid you down on the couch.

“I have some work to do but I expect you to rest. Is that clear y/n?” she asked with a pointed look and you nodded. Stifling a yawn as her known eyes swept over your form. Quietly she slipped off her white coat and draped it over you.

The morning sunlight spills through the open balcony doors in wide ribbons, catching the edge of the duvet pooled around your waist. The light glints against the polished wood of the floor, dances along the white walls, and glows at the edges of the curtain like a whispered promise. There's warmth on your skin already, not the oppressive kind LA throws at you in July, but a soft, golden wash that seems content to linger, as if the universe has paused just for you. The only sound is your own steady breathing, slow and intentional, accompanied by the creak of the bed as you shift beneath the sheets, adjusting to the new day one muscle at a time. The sheets are slightly twisted around your legs, and you make a slow, conscious effort to untangle yourself, wincing at the brief pull in your hip.

You stretch, slowly, carefully—a deliberate negotiation with your body. Your legs resist with a dull ache that reminds you today might be a good day, but it won't be effortless. That small resistance is familiar, woven into your morning like the scent of soap on Addison's collar or the distant sound of cars on Melrose. The stiffness clings to your joints like a second skin, but you're used to it. You move through it like fog, step by step, breath by breath. There is no urgency here. Just the quiet, and you in the centre of it, aware of your body in a way that isn't sharp or cruel, but measured. Practiced. This is your normal. And on mornings like this, normal feels kind. The duvet slides away as you reach for the edge of the bed. You place your feet on the cool wood, pausing to centre your weight before standing. One step, then another, steady as you go.

From deeper inside the house, you hear her before you see her—the familiar clink of mugs, the low whirr of the grinder, a faint hum that might be her singing something under her breath. The sound is muffled but bright, a private melody you can't quite place but know is for no one else. A pot of water hisses on the stove, footsteps pad across tile, a cupboard creaks. These are the sounds of someone loving you in the quiet ways. Not declarations. Not grand gestures. Just rhythm. Just presence. You smile to yourself before she even appears, leaning against the doorway to the balcony and breathing in the scent of sun-warmed jasmine from the potted plant Addison insists she can keep alive this time.

A minute later, Addison steps into view. Barefoot. Her hair scraped into a half-hearted bun that looks like it was done with one hand while the other poured coffee. Her pyjamas hang loose on her frame, old, soft cotton that you've seen in both emergency midnight calls and sleepy Sunday mornings like this. One sleeve is pushed up higher than the other. A spot of toothpaste lingers at the corner of her mouth. She carries two mugs with the reverence of someone holding something sacred. She stops for a moment, looking at you, her smile deepening as if seeing you there is the final piece to her morning.

She moves with that graceful, unhurried confidence she always seems to have in the early hours. The coffee smells like roasted almonds and vanilla. Just the way you like it. She's smiling in that barely-there way that means she's fully at peace, and the sight of her framed in sunlight is enough to make your chest expand with something too big for words. It's in moments like these, you remember that love is not the dramatic crescendo, but the long, low note that sustains. It hums beneath everything. The mug she offers you is warm, and you wrap your hands around it, careful, trying to readjust your grip subtly.

"You're spoiling me," you murmur as she steps onto the balcony and hands one to you.

"I'm well aware," she says, smirking, settling into the chair beside you. "But let's not pretend you don't deserve it."

The ceramic is warm against your fingers. You lift it carefully, concentrating. But your grip isn't what it used to be. Your fingers twitch, uncooperative, unreliable. There's a sharp, betraying jerk of your wrist, and suddenly the rim slips. Not far, but enough. Hot liquid splashes over your hand, running in rivulets down your knuckles and onto the robe you're wearing. The sting is immediate. The embarrassment, even sharper. It's not just the mess—it's the reminder. The small, quiet failure. The frustration of being caught off guard by your own body. Again.

You flinch. Not just from the heat—though it does sting—but from the flash of helplessness that crashes through you before you can stop it. It's not the first time. It won't be the last. Still, the frustration lands hard, rising from the pit of your stomach and curling up your spine like smoke from a fire you can't smother. You bite your tongue, but the words force their way out anyway.

"Damn it," you hiss, more at yourself than anything else, setting the mug down too fast. It wobbles before settling, sloshing slightly. The coffee leaves a ring on the table. Your chest tightens. You're so tired of these moments. So very tired.

But Addison's already moving. Not with panic. With instinct. Calm, quiet, knowing. She's beside you in an instant.

She kneels in front of you without saying a word. Takes your hand in hers like it's something sacred. Her fingers are cool and deft, wiping the coffee from your skin with the sleeve of her pyjama top. Her touch is light but steady, her movements gentle, efficient. She traces a thumb along your wrist like she's reading your pulse, anchoring you to the moment. Her eyes find yours. They don't waver.

"It's alright," she says, soft but certain. No pity in her voice. Just presence. Just Addison.

You shake your head, jaw tight. "I hate this."

It slips out before you can stop it. The vulnerability, raw and unwanted, scrapes at your pride. You lower your eyes, not sure what you'll see in hers. Maybe disappointment. Maybe sympathy. But not Addison. Not today.

She doesn't flinch. Doesn't sigh or rush to hush it away with empty comfort. She just finishes drying your hand, then leans in and presses her lips to the centre of your forehead, right between your brows, like she's sealing the frustration back into the earth and replacing it with something steadier. Something warmer. Something true. She breathes you in, like the scent of your skin is the only answer she'll ever need.

"I know," she says simply. "But you're still here. Still you. Still brilliant."

You don't answer right away. Your throat feels too tight to trust. But your chest aches in the best way—an ache that says you're seen. Loved. Understood. You nod, barely. She squeezes your hand gently, a pulse of reassurance.

She picks the mug back up, checks how much you've lost, and hands it to you again. Her fingers brush yours for a moment longer than necessary, grounding you. There's no urgency, no pressure. Just an invitation back into the morning. You take the mug again, and this time it stays steady. You sip. It's perfect. Warm. Comforting. Yours.

"This time I'll just stay close," she says, curling back into her chair beside you, "in case you want help pretending you don't need any."

You laugh—a short, honest sound that scrapes loose some of the tension. You lean back, sip more carefully, and find the coffee is still warm. Still good. Still exactly what you need. The steam curls upward in delicate spirals, vanishing into the open air.

Addison tucks one leg beneath her, facing slightly toward you. She takes a sip from her own mug and sighs, the sound deep and satisfied. The breeze flutters through her hair, and a few strands slip loose from the bun, catching the light like strands of copper. You could live in this image forever—her, here, like this. Unbothered. Unhurried. Entirely yours. The kind of quiet that makes you believe nothing could ever go wrong again. And if it did, she'd be right there. Just like this.

The city sprawls beneath the balcony, a pastel blur still wiping the sleep from its eyes. Low-rise buildings stretch out toward the horizon, softened by distance and smog. Somewhere down the street, someone's dog barks twice, you hear the buzz of a lawnmower a few houses over, a car door slams, a child laughs. The world is waking up, stretching out its limbs and shuffling toward the start of another day. A hummingbird buzzes past, hovers at the potted jasmine before darting away. Somewhere, wind chimes catch the breeze. A neighbour's radio begins to play a mellow tune, barely audible but oddly fitting. The scent of toast drifts from a nearby window. A cat slinks across a garden wall, tail flicking with casual arrogance.

But up here, you and Addison are still. Unmoving. A quiet island of calm in the middle of it all. You sit side by side, your knees almost touching, your breaths slow and synchronised without effort. Your fingers brush when you both shift slightly. She doesn't pull away. If anything, her hand finds yours. Her thumb rubs slow circles into the back of it. The kind of touch you don't notice at first, but miss as soon as it's gone. You glance at her. She's already looking at you. Her gaze softens further, and for a moment, there is nothing in the world but this—this chair, this coffee, this woman, this stillness.

Neither of you speaks for a long time. But there's nothing that needs to be said. Not right now. Not with the air so soft and the morning so generous. Not with the city waking slowly, and the moment stretching out wide around you like a promise. You lean your head lightly against her shoulder, and she lets it rest there, unmoving.

Your coffee is still warm. Her hand is still nearby. The morning is still yours. The love between you—quiet, solid, undeniable—settles over your shoulders like a blanket.

"What?" Her eyes widen. She stares at you for a second, trying to gauge if you're joking, before a nervous laugh bubbles from her chest. "No, that's not—not with anyone, I meant just…us." Her voice trails off, hands flexing on the edge of the bar. Lovely hands, you think, your eyes dropping down to where her wrist curves into her thumb, slender bones shifting under the thin cover of her skin. One goes up, to her ear; she pushes a few coppery strands back, and you hide your smile in the hinge of your shoulder. "Just you and me," she repeats, as if to get it through your head. Her voice is softer now, layered under the din of the bar. Losing conviction.

You edge a little closer, bridging the gap just enough to see the faint pulse between her collarbones. You raise your eyes to hers, let the rush of that glacial blue wash over you with a faint shiver down your spine.

"So, like a date?" You ask.

You're sure that if she were drinking she'd have choked. Her inhale is sharp, her chest expanding, chin ducking as she nods one two three times, the flush crawling down her jaw.

"Yes." She manages.

That should've been enough. It should've been more than enough.

But.

Your smile stretches coy, seeping into your voice. "Platonic date?"

"Those don't exist." Addison snaps, her eyes going narrow.

You laugh. Her shyness melts to exasperation, a pointed set to her jaw that has your veins burning.

"You're fucking with me." She exclaims.

"I'm not," you promise.

"No, you are."

"Addie." You say warmly, taking her hand. She immediately goes still again, her breath hitching. "I'd love to go on a non-platonic dinner date with you, just the two of us." You hold her gaze, your thumb skating over her knuckles. "That's what this is, right?"

Addison swallows.

"Yes." She says.

You smile, softer now, giving her hand a squeeze. "Well then, I'd love to." You say genuinely.

Her chest expands with a deep inhale. You're looking at her far after she looks away, another laugh tickling your mouth.

"Oh my god." Addison shakes her head, pressing a hand into her eye. You're more than ridiculously pleased that the other one is still trapped beneath yours on the bar. "You were enjoying that, weren't you?"

You look at her with all the innocence of a saint. "I just didn't want to understand you wrong. Get the wrong idea, you know."

"Liar."

You shrug, your teeth biting down on your lip. "You're cute when you're flustered."

Addison takes her hand back, tucks it into her body as she crosses her arms. The loss doesn't make you feel cold. You're hot all over.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." She mutters, the corners of her mouth lifting.

You two only started talking, though, after the incident with the patient’s neurotoxic blood. You had been one of the doctors in the OR operating on the patient and when Addison found out, she couldn’t help but be worried about you.

Afterwards, when she was finished with the oxygen mask, she felt compelled to check up on you and even a little nervous.

You were touched that she checked up on you and seemed to feel naturally protective, insisting that you get some rest when you mentioned wanting to get back to work. When you pointed out that she was also exposed to the blood, she pointed out that you had fainted whereas she had not. This bickering, just like how you remembered, caused some butterflies in your stomach.

After a nice conversation, Addison said how she didn’t want you to be alone tonight, as she was worried about something happening. Now, you couldn’t deny that seeing her again had reignited a spark inside you, so you carefully suggested she come over.

The smile that lit up her face took your breath away and she agreed. It seemed that you guys were in sync and fell into a coordinated rhythm as she helped you gather your things.

Addison had taken the ferry to the hospital that morning, so you went for your car. Memories of date nights and driving around flooded Addison when she realized that your car was the same. You wanted to drive, but Addison insisted you give her the keys.

“I’ve driven this car how many times, Y/N?”

Addison drove back to your house and helped you get settled. She was quite the mother hen, fussing over you and asking you if you needed anything. You had to admit, you were enjoying this just a teeny bit.

The moment you tried to give Addison your bed, though? The bickering started again. Which ended in you throwing a pillow at Addison and her threatening you because “I know all your tickle spots, Y/N!”

In the end, you guys ended up being unable to sleep and had long talks full of reminiscing and laughter over glasses of red wine.

In the morning, you woke up cuddled up against her. You thought you’d feel weird about it and even though the last time this happened was 20 years ago . . . Things just felt right. So you drifted back to sleep.

Of course, you guys ended up missing your alarms and being late to work.

Addison was still a little worried the next day and kept checking up on you. Eventually, you went out for lunch. When Addison talked to Callie later, her friend kept laying down the hints that maybe something was going to happen between you and Addison. Addison found herself actually desiring that.

After this, you guys were friendly for a while, but inside both of you, there was an ache of wanting more.

It was only when Addison began thinking about moving to Seattle. Things seemed clear for her but then she thought about you and suddenly, it wasn’t clear anymore.

She didn’t want to tell you. It felt like telling you that she was going to a different school for medicine all those years ago.

And when she did end up telling you she was planning on moving, she was quite nervous and fidgety. You just felt hollow.

“Is it because of me?”

Addison was quick to assure you that it wasn’t. She said that it was difficult being at the hospital where there were a lot of painful memories for her.

You understood this, but you also didn’t want Addison to leave again.

You two kept going back and forth about it until you said something like:

“Screw them! Screw Derek, screw Mark, screw all of them. You have nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. You did your best to make that marriage work. If you feel you have to leave, I get that . . . But I don’t know if I can say goodbye to you again. Having you back in my life . . . It’s like spring has sprung and the flowers are blooming.”

And oh, Addison was charmed. In that moment, she wanted to kiss you.

But, things were still a little messy. She was cautious about jumping in a relationship so soon after her divorce.

So you guys agreed to take it slow, to allow Addison to fully get over Derek.

After a couple weeks, she decided she’d stay at Seattle Grace.

Months passed and you two kept up a friendship. It was difficult to be near each other without being with each other but eventually, you guys got there.

Addison had been in the gallery one day, watching you do a difficult, intense survey. It was hours long, reaching well into the night, and she was awed by you. It was over the course of these hours that she knew she couldn’t wait any longer — she needed you.

When you finally completed the pivotal point in the surgery, Addison was on her feet clapping for you. Your eyes met and there was this gleam in them that Addison wanted to see every single day.

At the end of the surgery, she was barely able to wait for you to scrub out and change out of your scrubs. Once you did, she nearly tackled you to the floor with a hug, professing her feelings for you and apologizing for how things ended after college.

This caught you off guard, but you saw how excited Addison was. You invited her over to your house and once again, you guys had a talk over glasses of red wine. Things got sorted out. Feelings were confessed.

Addison kissed you in your kitchen, with an old romantic song on, slow dancing and dipping you, making you laugh.

The night was messy. It was tiring. It was long. But it was also perfect.

ᕚ---ᕘ

You walked through the entrance of the busy doctor's office that you and your colleagues had built with so much dedication and professionalism. As one of the outstanding doctors in this well-coordinated team of medical professionals, you were used to starting each morning with an aura of serenity that calmed your colleagues and patients alike. But there was an unusual tension in the air that day.

The office was buzzing with activity, the phone lines humming in a constant crescendo as the waiting room expanded into a sea of impatient patients, crammed in anticipation of their appointments.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you made your way with persistent steps down the busy hallway, past Naomi and Cooper as they scurried from room to room in a frantic ballet. As a highly respected doctor, whose dedication and commitment were widely known, you were usually able to handle even the most difficult situations with a calm composure. But even you couldn't deny the pressure of this particularly hectic day, settling like an invisible weight on your shoulders.

As you took your steps further to your office, a sharp pain shot through your abdomen, causing deep wrinkles on your forehead as you looked around in confusion. At first you tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling, but as the pain increased in intensity and your eyes fell on your stomach, you could no longer deny the unpleasant truth. An unexpectedly heavy menstrual flow made its way unwaveringly through your body, and you felt the unpleasant air of reality slowly settling over you.

A rush of panic shot through you as you realized that in the middle of this hectic day you were dealing with pain. Despite the mounting pressure, you forced yourself to remain outwardly calm, fighting to suppress the pain as you continued to rush towards your office, determined to fulfill your duties even if it meant neglecting your own discomfort.

You finally reached your office and closed the door gently behind you, longing for a moment of privacy. Another stab shot through your insides, more intense than before. You gritted your teeth, suppressed a rising sound of pain, and forced yourself to concentrate. You couldn't allow yourself to be weak today - you knew that all too well.

With shaky hands, you reached for a bottle of water and some painkillers that you pulled out of your desk drawer. The pills slid heavily over your tongue before you swallowed them, and you sat back, already exhausted so early in the morning, staring at the cool glass as you waited for the medicine to take effect.

In that moment, you realized that this day was not only a test of your medical skills, but also a challenge to your own strength and endurance. As you focused on the cathartic feeling of pain relief, you vowed to get through this day, no matter the cost. No matter how overwhelming the demands, you knew deep down that you were a doctor - a doctor used to facing life's stormy waves with determination and courage. And today you wouldn't do anything else.

You withstood the pain with a brave fighting spirit as you walked through the hallways of the office. A forced smile graced your lips as you greeted your patients, and you made an effort to ease their worries and suffering as you examined them.

But despite your best efforts to concentrate on your tasks, the pain was making it increasingly difficult. Every step felt like a knife was piercing your muscles, and every fibre of your body was shot through with a stabbing pain.

With iron willpower, you forced yourself to compose yourself as you rushed from room to room tending to your patients and using your medical expertise to bring them relief. But the harder you tried, the more inescapable the challenge of overcoming the pain became.

Your hands began to shake as you tried to insert a needle, and your mind felt like it was shrouded in an impenetrable fog. Despite your tireless efforts and unwavering determination, you felt your concentration slipping and your ability to make clear decisions fading.

When you finally returned to your office, you were gasping for breath and your body was covered in sweat. You sank into the chair with a muffled sigh, trying to regain your composure as you fought the sharp pain in your abdomen. The painkillers had no effect.

With each passing moment the pain seemed to increase in intensity and you couldn't help but wonder how much longer you could muster the strength to stand firm.

As you retreated to your office, Addison Montgomery, one of your closest colleagues and best friend, noticed that something was wrong with you. Concern was reflected on her face as she watched you go on with your day, obviously in pain.

Addison didn't hesitate for a moment and immediately made her way to you. She reached the office just in time to stop you from leaving, pushing you back with gentle firmness. "Y/n, are you okay?" the redhead asked worriedly, her arms on her hips as she looked at you carefully.

A timid smile tried to form on your lips, but the pain in your eyes betrayed your torment. "It's nothing, Addy. Just my period, it'll be okay."

Addison shook her head firmly. "This doesn't look like 'just a bit of pain'. You look like you're going to collapse at any given moment. You need to take a break and lie down. I can see how much you're suffering." Her words were full of concern and determination as she looked at you firmly, ready to stand by you no matter what it took.

Another sharp pain shot through your body and you forced yourself to press your lips together to keep yourself from groaning in pain. It was as if your body was constantly telling you that a break was urgently needed, that you couldn't ignore your own needs any longer.

“Please, sweetheart,” Addison pleaded, her voice full of concern and compassion. "You're an outstanding doctor, but even doctors need help sometimes. Let me help you."

You hesitantly raised your gaze and met her eyes, in which you could read both uncertainty and care. You didn't want to neglect your duties, you didn't want to abandon your patients, but the thought of a much-needed rest was irresistible and you finally gave in, giving a weak nod of agreement. "Alright, Addy. I'm going to rest."

A relieved smile spread across her face as she helped you to your feet. Together you left the office and went to one of the unused examination rooms, which was secluded and offered more privacy to give you the rest and relaxation you so desperately needed.

As you lay down on the soft lounger and slowly closed your eyes, you felt a wave of relief wash over you. The tension in your muscles eased and you were finally able to get some rest that you so desperately needed.

Addison stayed by your side for a moment, lovingly handed you a blanket and sat down on a chair next to the lounger. Her hand rested reassuringly on yours, a warm smile playing on her lips. “Rest, y/n,” she whispered softly. "I'll be outside if you need me. You don't have to go through everything alone."

In that moment, surrounded by your colleague's loving care and kindness, you finally allowed yourself to let go and relax.

ᕚ---ᕘ

While you were resting on the lounger, the doctor's office did not remain idle. Addison and the other colleagues worked hand in hand to share the burden of patient care and ensure that each of your patients also received the best possible care.

Addison took on much of your responsibility and led the team with quiet determination. She coordinated scheduling, carefully reviewed patient records, and ensured all medical requests were addressed promptly. Her professionalism and commitment were evident, and she worked tirelessly to ensure that the practice ran smoothly, even in your absence.

The atmosphere in the practice was one of a sense of collaboration and mutual respect as the team strived to overcome the day's challenges together. Everyone did their part to keep things running and despite the unexpected circumstances, they managed to keep everything running smoothly and ensure that patients continued to receive the best possible care.

Despite her best efforts, Addison couldn't stop worrying about you. When she saw you come out of the exam room to continue your work an hour later, she immediately knew from the color of your face that you weren't feeling any better.

“Y/n, I see you’re still not feeling well,” Addison said worriedly, stepping closer to you, her cool hand gently touching your cheek. "I really think it would be best if I took you home. You desperately need some rest and relaxation to fully recover."

You wanted to protest, but you knew she was right. You hesitated for a moment, but then nodded slowly. The exhaustion in your own body was obvious, and you knew you couldn't ignore it any longer. You needed your colleague’s support. “Thank you, Addison,” you said quietly, reaching for her hand. "I think that's a good idea. I can really use your help."

A reassuring smile crossed Addison's lips as she squeezed your hand and helped you to your feet again. She put an arm around your shoulders and led you out of the office. "Of course, y/n. I'll make sure you get home safely." Her words were full of compassion and determination as she reached out to support you during this difficult time.

You left the practice together and made your way to your apartment. You didn't talk much on the way, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Addison was just grateful that she could be there for you when you needed her. You leaned exhaustedly against the window pane and let your gaze wander outside while the redhead concentrated on the street in front of her.

When you finally got to your apartment, Addison helped you out of the car and walked you to the door. She stopped and looked at you seriously. “I’ll make sure you have everything you need,” she assured you. "And if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."

You smiled gratefully and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Addy. You really are a great friend. I really appreciate your help." Addison returned the hug and squeezed you gently. "Take care of yourself, y/n. Rest and recover. I'll check on you after closing time and call every now and then to make sure you're okay."

With one last smile, Addison opened the door to your apartment and let you in. She waited patiently until you were safely inside before turning around and slowly walking back to the car.