“I’d feel lesser if I did that.” Aleksander was used to taking everything on himself and he wouldn’t want to push off the task of paperwork on other people. It was his responsibility after all.

Her touch and words draws out an emotional response from him. Tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes and he swallows hard. He reaches out and touches her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. In the next moment he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers with passion. A passion he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. It wasn’t like how it was when he was with Zoya nor any of his other flings. This felt different due to their connection.

“I mean if something were to happen I wouldn’t protest against it…” He still felt a connection and spark with her and if that led into something more than he’d be more than fine with it. He wants to reach out and touch her, but he isn’t sure if he should. If they did sleep together it could fill the void she’s been feeling, but he didn’t want her to regret anything if she still felt loyal. He knew he had trouble being with someone else after Luda had died.

“I’ve hardly been sleeping,” he shrugged. “I have a lot on my plate… paperwork, going over plans if we get attacked…” It wasn’t uncommon for him to go days without sleep, he could handle it, for the most part. He didn’t like sleeping alone either, his bed felt much too empty as of recent.

“That’s understandable that you’d be hesitant.” He withdrew his hand, bringing it back to his glass. He wanted her to be comfortable. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. In fact I didn’t bring you back to my chambers with the intention of sex.”

“Was I supposed to expect anything from you?” A dark brow raises as his head tilts. “I hadn’t expected anything except to have a good time tonight.” He notices that she seems anxious so he sets his glass down and puts a pale hand on her shoulder. “I know you’ve taken orders for most of your life, but it’s okay to let go and let loose for a while. It’s okay. I won’t judge you.”

A warmth sparked in his chest at her words. In a normal situation it wouldn’t stir a reaction from him, but in this context it excited him. “I’ll keep that in mind for later.”

***

After their dance he had decided to invite her back into his private chambers. Whether they were going to get intimate or not it brought about an air of mystery around them. And he could have used a break from the staring eyes. “I must say that was one of the most enjoyable fetes I’ve had in a while.” Aleksander said as he poured them both glasses of Kvas. He hands her a glass then sits down, taking a sip from his own glass. “How are you feeling now?”

          “ Oh well… if it was a private dance you wanted you’re going to have to wait until later. ” Giving her a teasing wink, he couldn’t help but grin. He was having way too much fun playing into the moment. One hand held onto her waist with firm strength, while the other kept holding onto her hand. As he maintained eye contact with her it felt as if time had taken a stand still, as if they were the only two still moving in the room. Brown eyes focusing on her lips, he resisted the temptation to lean in to kiss her. Perhaps that could wait until later…

          The wave of warmth that covered him felt like a relief after standing outside in the cold for so long. Aleksander’s body was always a little colder than it would be for an average person, so the warmth of the Little Palace was a welcome. 

        He can feel the presence of all eyes on him when they enter the room. They’re not the normal adoring eyes, however as he makes his way down to where everyone is dancing. Everyone looks on in curiosity as he walks out with Jayn.

         “ We shall. ” Giving her a smile, he reached out his hand for her to hold. He can hear someone let out a light gasp and the sound gives him a feeling of satisfaction. Oh how scandalous they must all think this is. The general, no the shadow summoner, about to dance with one of his bodyguards. In all honesty, he would have rather been dancing with her than anyone else in the room tonight.

“That was what I meant, yes,” he said,  a small cloud of breath came out of his mouth as he let out a light laugh. Reaching his hand out, he places his on top of hers in response. “I accept in any case. It’s getting a bit too cold out here.” With a smile on his lips, he looks down at her, his heart skipping a small beat. It had been far too long since he had that feeling in his chest. “Lead the way.”

     The corners of his mouth twitch as a small smile forms on his lips. He saw her in a different light now, although he had always considered her his closest and strongest oprichniki, they hadn’t gotten to know each other so intimately.

     “Are you suggesting that you’d like to dance?” It was a tease, but honestly he wouldn’t have minded it. Would everyone be in awe that the general was dancing one of his oprichniki? Most definitely. Did he care? Truth be told… not really. The drama that could inhabit the Little Palace could be amusing, in particular the rumours that surrounded him. Some people had far too much time on their hands and creative imaginations. It was a source of amusement from him. 

Sad. That sounded right. It was a word one would most likely never think about using when describing him, thinking that he had a perfect life, not knowing that he had been alive for hundreds of years.

He stays quiet, looking at her intently as she speaks. His heart aches as she recalls about the love of her life. Trying his best to surpress his feelings, to not let the shadows come out from pain, he steadies his breathing. Thankfully, there was a subject change and his attention is brought to her showing her powers. The sight of the snow melting caused his heart to skip a beat and he felt as if their connection had strengthened.

“You being Grisha isn’t going to affect anything. Call it an …exception.” While his oprichniki weren’t normally Grisha, he couldn’t imagine not having her around to protect him. She could serve in the Second Army of course, but…he wasn’t entirely sure why.. it wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe it was because he felt a tinge of empathy. He knew what it was like to be alone, losing a loved one and having to hide his powers. “I think we should get you inside. You’re looking a little…cold.”