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If your position is "We won't put anyone in prison, we'll just kill the people who need killing!" you are not a "prison abolitionist", but an "aspiring lynch mob member."

A good thing you can do with an ulcer or other painful sore inside your mouth is to keep pressing your tongue against it to make it hurt more, or even bother it with your teeth for some reason. You can do a similar thing with bad memories!

guy nextto me on the plnane wearing a tophat urgent urgent urgent about to lose wifi urgent my final message

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

they are finally giving me a magnificent gilded cup for all of the folding chairs ive helped put away at various events and functions

idk if this is a boomer take but I think ppl should make more of an effort to go see movies in theaters bc I couldn’t bear it if the movie theater industry went down and the only way to watch movies was through streaming I’m not strong enough

Actually I’ll make it even more boomer because I genuinely think it’s a good thing for people to have a reason to put down social media for an hour or two and just focus all their attention on a movie together and get fully immersed like I think that’s good practice for our attention spans and ultimately for our mental health (unless you’re a person who uses your phone during the movie in the theater in which case uh idk die)

I really hate to side with Gollum on this, but “what’s in my pocket” is not a riddle and should not have counted. 

We need to stop letting people who dont like body hair speak. About anything.

You know when you're checking out a new fandom and you stumble across a writer/artist you loved in a previous fandom and it feels like running into a childhood friend at a bar

Running into the arms of trusted ao3 handles in a new tag like an airport greeting

I just don’t caaaarreee. I don’t care. But I care a lot though I care SO much. But also I just don’t care at all and never have. But also I do and always will. Hope that helps

bro what?

my fellow heating bill-averse soldiers let them all know when we see our breaths while watching youtube shorts in our bedrooms it is the dragon energy we try to keep under control for your protection

Unironically, this is why society would crumble without diversity

I feel absolute rage when i call An Office and have to sit through a 5 minute recording telling me I can just use their website thanks!!! I can’t! Believe it or not I’m a child of the internet age who went on your website and it was shit!! Get me a human person!!!!