my writing space

above all else

is a chance,

the one thing

you’ve never given

or even considered

with me.

please,

i can’t,

get you out

of my mind.

pretty things,

so i’m not surprised.

you chose her,

and her beauty,

her eyes,

so rare,

honey like gold.

you were enraptured,

and i

was left behind.

like i always am.

nothing special

about my average hair,

my big nose,

my dull brown eyes.

i was never an option.

a girl

in the background,

never the lover,

only the friend.

please,

don’t break me like this.

why

why do you do this to me

playing with my mind

and my emotions

throwing them around

like a rag doll

you play a dangerous game

with my heart

and i can only hope

that you won’t break it

you ask me,

your head propped up on one hand,

your eyes shining so genuinely,

your lips turned up at the corners just a tiny bit.

i smile,

thinking of the nights you let me cry into your chest,

the mornings you kissed me awake,

the way our limbs wrap around each other when we cuddle,

the sound of your voice in the throes of passion,

when you hold me in your arms after a long day,

when you bring me on extravagant dates with fancy wine,

the terrible jokes you tell to make me laugh when i’ve forgotten how,

and the look in your eyes when you say ‘i love you’,

and i answer,

‘you.

you are what keeps me going.’

i’m sorry i’m not good enough

but it was a lie

trickles over my skin,

caressing my body.

the wind,

whispers in my ear,

brushing my hair away.

the night,

surrounds my soul,

striking it with wonder.

for tonight,

the world,

im just feeling a little

unneeded,

unwanted,

useless,

worthless.

i only burden you with my presence.

in a different world

where i would never be broken

the way i am here