AIO for no longer wanting to reach out?
Idk how to post on Reddit so sorry for the format.
Basically idk how to start this but my relationship with my dad has always felt really one sided. My mom moved us out of their shared apartment when I was 6 months because the were not compatible and she was afraid it would cause me unnecessary trauma (sheâs a g for that) but when iâd go see him when I was a baby he wouldnât know what to do with me how to entertain or take care of me when I was crying or anything like that. I should also mention that he was 22 almost 23 when I was born and my mom was 20. He didnât try to have time with me until I was tall enough to reach the stove, so about 7. I couldnât be with him until i could make my own food.
This is where my memory starts. He would pick me up Friday night after work and go immediately to the liquor store for a case of beer and shooters. I never had a room at him house so iâd plop myself on the couch with my iPod touch and watch netflix or something while he played video games and got wasted into the wee hours of the night until he finally would go to bed and I could make my bed on the couch. In the morning he would wake up around 9 and take some shooters and go back to sleep until 2 ish pm. And heâd also be upset my mom wanted to pick me up around noon. Complaining he has âno timeâ with me. On the mornings he only wanted to drink beer I had to move my bed stuff and turn my show off the tv so he could resume video games. But he had no time with me.
When I turned 17 i got my license so I stopped going every weekend and when i did it would be late Friday and iâd leave early Sunday. He would often ask me to go get him gaming stuff from target cause he couldnât drive from drinking so much and when I refused he would belittle me like this is why you have kids to do shit for you and you just donât care about me blah blah blah. But i didnât want to give him more excuses to ignore me. He constantly had girls over for sex and i know this because theyâd be gone before sunrise. He would get so drunk & yell when i didnât wanna take his shit and stand up for myself. I could only go to the bathroom to get away from him and cry to have my mom get me (pre license) and it just wasnât a great experience. Theres more but itâs not too relevant
Well he hasnât called me in months now and i donât even care. Last couple times we talked heâs like âi raised you rightâ and âyouâre my kid no doubtâ when he didnât have ANYTHING to do with how i turned out. I try not to be like him with all my power. Basically i donât care to reach out when he doesnât either but am i really in the wrong for that? Iâm 27 tomorrow and I donât even want him to call me. AIO?
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)
Top comment: âDecisions were made for you when you were young. They were bad decisions.
You are an adult now and have every right to make your own decisions.
We canât answer for you, but ask yourself all the questions. Does having a relationship with him cause you more pain than happiness? Is there any benefit, such as financial, to staying in contact with him? When he dies will you miss him or feel relieved?
You have a lot of trauma and it would be worthwhile to unpack that with a therapist. NORâ
Notable comment: âYou don't owe anyone a relationship, not even your parents. You also don't owe your parents anything. It's the other way around. They brought you into this world. They owe you everything. Sounds like your mom is meeting that obligation. NORâ
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Remaining time: 2 days 2 hours
Originally shared by Fun_Captain_4295 on r/AmIOverreacting on June 9th, 2026 at 4:31 PM UTC. Credit to u/RestlessLegacy and u/Sick_Of_Facebook75 for the quoted comments.