fainéante

it's like i am literally never going to own a house or find authentic love or escape the clutches of late stage capitalism so really what am i living for

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

Computers are very simple you see we take the hearts of dead stars and we flatten them into crystal chips and then we etch tiny pathways using concentrated light into the dead star crystal chips and if we etch the pathways just so we can trick the crystals into doing our thinking for us hope this clears things up.

my brother just prank called the auto parts store he works at asking if they had fallopian tubes and the guy spent like 20 minutes looking lmao 

When I say “free water, free food, free shelter, free healthcare, free education for everyone” in that “everyone” I even include the people I hate. Too many people get surprised at the idea that I do wish for the people I hate to have better lives.

When I say EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE. These are things ALL people should have. If you reblog this saying “except THIS group” then you’ve missed the point entirely.

i want to remove the boots from necks altogether, not just be the one to put on the boot.

If you’re of the opinion that certain people should be excluded from your wonderful new society after the revolution, your problem is not with the current system so much as the fact that you personally are not sitting at the top of it.

If equality doesn’t include everyone it isn’t equality its just a new flavour of oppression

i get that pushing harder/blowing your nose actively makes a congested nose worse via increasing sinus pressure but not for me though. if i just keep blasting it will work and my nose will clear up for me. this is how im reaching heaven through violence.

The hardest I've ever been roasted is when I joking asked my friend what circle of Dante's Hell we'd be sent to, and then I said, "Oh, I'd go to the circle for homosexuals, right?" to which he immediately replied, "No, that's a mistranslation, it's a circle for the sodomites, not the homosexuals, meaning you'd have to actually have gay sex to go there."