just an old sweet song

sorta-kind a present/shout out to @justjackbitty because I spent the last week going through about 350 pages of their blog??? because Zimbits. So here’s a messy Zimbits. Not perfect but whatevs

“Make your phone call,” the officer instructs him.

“But I don’t have my contacts,” Bitty repeats for the umpteenth time. “They’re all on my phone!”

The woman shrugs but offers a sympathetic glance. Bitty sighs. It’s a crap situation and he’s definitely panicking but she’s not at fault.

“I’ll be back in five minutes,” she tells him and walks off, leaving him alone in the corridor by the wall-mounted phone.

He does know a few numbers off by heart but he doesn’t think his parents will appreciate a call at this time of night from their only child who is in another state and in jail.

Bitty longs to bang his head against the wall but doesn’t want to catch some disease. He checks his pockets once more for his phone, driven by an instinct he can’t fight off.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. Again.

He wraps his arms around his torso, trying to remain calm and not switch over from panicking to crying. That’s when he hears it. The crinkle of paper. He pulls out the folded bit of paper from his inside coat pocket and tries not to let his hopes build too quickly, but he has a feeling that-

“Yes!” Bitty exclaims.

It’s the course outline for the class he’d been studying for. Scribbled at the top is the phone number of the TA.

Bitty calls the number, not sure if the five minutes the cop gave him is the only chance he’ll get to contact someone, desperately hoping for an answer even though it’s near midnight.

The phone is picked up after two rings.

“Hi. This is Jack.”

Great idea, thank you for sending me this! And safe travels to you!

“Like I said before, sir,” the lady at the airline countersaid, her voice placating but with a slight edge to it, “we’ve been experiencingminor delays, but we expect to be able to board soon.”

“You said that two and a half hours ago,” Jack said. “Icould have driven and been halfway there by now, but I thought this would befaster.”

“We will let you know as soon as soon as we can when theplane will be ready.”

“You don’t understand, it’s my boyfriend’s birthday, I’mtrying to surprise him by being there for his party.”

“That’s very nice,” the lady said, unmoved, “and we will letyou know when we have an update.”

Jack couldn’t sit still. He paced back and forth and startedto sweat as real panic set in. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and calledShitty.

“Jack! My dude, my bro,” Shitty answered. “You almost here?”

“My flight hasn’t even left yet,” Jack said. “I should’vejust picked up a rental car. I’m never gonna make it in time.”

“Well, the flight itself is barely an hour, and we’ve stillgot like three hours until Bitty gets back to the Haus. Lards and I are heredecorating, and Rans and Holtsy are on their way back from picking up the food.”

“Hey, Jack! Stop freaking out!” Lardo shouted from thebackground.

“How could she tell I’m freaking out?” Jack asked.

“Women’s intuition? Psychic powers? Or she just knows youlike super well?”

First there’s weird reactions to smut:

Sometimes I like to keep the author updated on how I’m doing while I’m reading the fic:

Other times I make astute observations:

Then there’s whatever the fuck this is:

She’s pretty sure Bitty is gay but is waiting for him to come to her and so she’s furious that this man is using her son, who clearly adores him, as a cover to come visit his boyfriend, who must live in the area, right?

this is gonna be angsty.

See, in this universe, it’s somewhat taboo to try and contact your soulmate before you’re 18. parents usually try to prevent it, because they want their kids to stay in school and not run off to find their soulmate and make Bad Life Choices and wtver. 

so naturally, it’s a rite of passage in middle school to secretly write some message to your soulmate (it happens at sleepovers a lot, like call-your-crush-and-hang-up but more metaphysical). So let’s say some of the kids at school decide to play a horrible prank on Bitty…

Hello, it is Tuesday and it’s been a while since I’ve done a Holster shitpost. I miss my lorge boi. 

Kent reaches out and strokes his finger down her back. She’s half the width of his hand. He’s worried he’s going to hurt her.

The kitten emits a rumbling noise. She vibrates under Kent’s hand.

“Hey,” he says very softly. The kitten purrs harder.