too shy to say, but I hope you stay

Bucky loves you more than anything. He falls more and more in love with you everyday. He always gives you kisses and says he loves you every chance he gets. You could be doing the most simplest thing and he’ll kiss you and tell you he loves you. Like right now, you’re almost done cooking dinner when Bucky came into the kitchen. You were so focused on cooking that you didn’t hear him come into the kitchen. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around you from behind, making you smile. He kisses your cheek. You turned your head just enough to kiss him.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Bucky asks.

“You say it about an infinite amount of times a day, but I would love to hear it more than that.” You say.

“How about an infinite more I love you’s?” He asks.

“I would love nothing more.” You say.

Bucky smiles and kisses you again. The kisses didn’t stop there. After dinner, you and Bucky decided to watch a movie. You and him were cuddling on the couch and he continued to give you more kisses. He also said he loves you.

“I love you so much, doll.” He almost whispers.

“I love you more, sweetheart.” You say softly.

“Impossible.” He says.

“Possible.” You smiled.

Bucky smiles back and kisses you again.

A few days go by when you find out you’re pregnant. Bucky was on his morning run with Steve and Sam when you found out. You stared at the positive pregnancy test with the looks of excitement and happiness on your face. Bucky comes home just in time too, because you’re beyond excited to tell him. You ran out of the bathroom and straight to the door to greet your husband. You kissed him before he could say one word.

“What’s got you so excited this morning?” Bucky curiously asks.

“I have exciting news!” You say.

“Care to tell me what it is?” He asks.

Instead of telling him, you showed him the positive pregnancy test. Bucky stares at it in shock. He’s shocked in a good way.

“Does that mean what I think it means?” He asks just to be sure.

“Yes, I’m pregnant!” You exclaimed happily.

“Oh my god! This is wonderful, doll!” He exclaims happily.

Bucky kisses you with so much passion that it took your breath away. You two smiled against each other’s lips.

“We’re having a baby.” Bucky almost whispers.

“We’re having a baby.” You say just as softly.

In that very moment, Bucky fell even more in love with you. He’s happy and excited to begin this new chapter in yours and his lives.

You and Bucky were beyond excited to go to your first doctors appointment. Although, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit nervous. Luckily for you, Bucky was right by your side the whole time.

“I’m a little nervous, Bucky.” You say.

“It’s going to be ok, doll. I’m right here.” Bucky says softly.

A nurse calls your name and takes you to an exam room. Bucky held your hand as you two went back there.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor asks as she gets the ultrasound machine set up.

“Nervous.” You tell her.

“It’s ok to be nervous.” She assures you.

Bucky’s hand never left yours throughout the ultrasound. His free hand caresses your cheek, his thumb gently rubbing your skin. Then you and him finally heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Tears filled yours and his eyes.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” The doctor says.

The doctor shows you and Bucky the monitor and points yours and his baby out to you two. A huge smile grew on yours and his faces.

“And there’s your baby.” She says.

You and Bucky smiled as you two looked at the monitor and then looked at each other.

“That’s our baby!” Bucky says excitedly.

“It is!” You say just as excitedly.

Bucky leans down and kisses you sweetly. The doctor prints out the ultrasound pictures and then you two left. You two looked at the ultrasound pictures in the car for a moment.

“We’re having a baby.” Bucky smiles.

“We’re having a baby.” You smiled.

Bucky was very attentive throughout your pregnancy. He did everything for you. He knows that you can do things on your own, but he wants to help in any way he can.

“Why don’t you go relax on the couch and watch TV and I’ll bring the groceries in and put them away.” Bucky says as soon as you and him get home from the grocery store.

“Are you sure? I’ll be more than happy to help you.” You say.

“I’m sure.” He says.

Bucky gives you a kiss before you went inside of the house. You went to the living room and turned on your favorite show while Bucky brought the groceries in the house and put them away. When he was done, he went to the living room and sat down next to you. Bucky, being the amazing husband he is, brought you a snack and something to drink.

“I thought you might want a snack and something to drink.” He says.

“You’re so sweet. Thank you, baby.” You smiled.

“You’re welcome, doll.” He smiles.

Like always, his hand rests on your small pregnant belly.

“How’s our little one doing?” He asks.

“He or she is doing great.” You say, putting your hand on top of his.

Bucky was even there for you when you had morning sickness. He didn’t mind getting out of bed and sitting on the bathroom floor to comfort you. He just wanted to be there in any way he can. As if it were on cue like it is almost every morning, you ran straight to the bathroom. Bucky got out of bed as soon as you did. He followed you to the bathroom. He got a washcloth wet with cold water before sitting down on the bathroom floor behind you. He even put your hair in a bun so you didn’t get anything in your hair. After a few seconds, you leaned back against your husband. Bucky gently put the wet washcloth on your forehead. The coldness of the washcloth felt good against your skin.

“How are you feeling now?” Bucky asks softly.

“I think I’m good for the time being.” You say.

You spoke too soon. You got sick again. Bucky comforted you by rubbing your back.

“Now, I think I’m fine.” You say.

“That’s good.” He says.

Bucky stands up from the bathroom floor and helps you up. You brushed your teeth so you didn’t have that gross aftertaste in your mouth. Then he gently guides you back to the bedroom.

“Let’s go back to bed for a little bit longer.” He says softly.

“What about your morning run with Steve and Sam?” You asked.

“I’ll text them. Besides, you and the baby are way more important than running.” He says.

“Ok.” You smiled.

Bucky gives you a soft peck on your lips and rests his hand on your pregnant belly.

“I love you.” He says softly.

“I love you too.” You say just as softly.

When it came to chores around the house, you had already started them and then Bucky walks into the room and tells you to go relax in the living room and he’ll do the chores. Bucky did the dishes after breakfast and now, you’re getting all the dirty laundry together to do the laundry. You were gathering the dirty clothes in yours and Bucky’s bedroom when he came into the room.

“Doll?” Bucky says.

“Yes, sweetie?” You asked.

“I told you that I’d do the laundry.” He says.

“I know, but I thought I’d gather all of the laundry in the laundry basket and take it to the laundry room for you.” You say sweetly.

Bucky smiles at how sweet you sound and walks over to you, resting his hands on your pregnant belly.

“I appreciate that, babydoll, but you didn’t have to do that. You can go relax and I’ll do everything. Ok?” He says softly.

“Ok.” You say.

Bucky gently pulls you back to him as you began to walk away from him. You giggled as he did so. He kisses you softly and then crouches down so he’s at eye level with your pregnant belly and pushes up your shirt just enough to kiss your pregnant belly, which always makes you smile.

“Keep mama company while I do chores, little one.” Bucky coos.

He kisses your belly once more before standing back up and kisses you again.

“I love you, doll.” He says softly.

“I love you too, honey.” You say softly.

Bucky was definitely there for you at times when you felt insecure throughout your pregnancy. Those insecurities didn’t start until your clothes didn’t fit you like they used to. You noticed that your shirt didn’t cover your pregnant belly all the way. You kept trying to tug it down, but your belly still showed. Your eyes teared up and a small whimper left your lips. You went to the living room where Bucky was reading a book on what to expect throughout your pregnancy.

“I have a problem.” You pouted.

Bucky looks over at you. He saw that your clothes down fit anymore, but that’s not the only thing he saw. He also saw how visible your pregnant belly is now. He puts the book down and reaches his hand out to you, guiding you over to him. He places both of his hands on the sides of your pregnant belly.

“You’re carrying our baby, doll. Don’t think you’re any less beautiful. You’re still as beautiful as you were when we got married.” Bucky says softly.

“I know you’re trying to be sweet, but it doesn’t help with my insecurities that my clothes don’t fit anymore.” You say.

“You have absolutely nothing to be insecure about, babydoll. Don’t let those insecurities bother you for another second. I’ll buy you maternity clothes. Till then, just keep thinking about you carrying our baby girl.” He says sweetly.

And just like that, your insecurities faded away.

“What makes you think we’re having a girl?” You curiously asked.

“I have a feeling that our baby is a girl.” He says.

“You don’t want a boy?” You asked.

“I wouldn’t mind a boy. Just as long as he or she is healthy, I’m fine with either.” He says.

“Me too.” You smiled.

Bucky moves your shirt up above your pregnant belly and covers your belly in kisses. Your smile grew even wider. You played with his hair as he did so. Then he gently guides you to sit down on the couch. He laid down with his head on your lap so he can talk to the baby.

“How are you doing in there, little one?” Bucky asks softly.

You smiled as you listened to Bucky talk to the baby. He told the baby every story he could think of. You thought it was the sweetest thing ever. You played with his hair again as he talked to the baby.

“I love both of you.” Bucky says softly.

“We love you too, honey.” You say just as softly.

Your next doctors appointment is the one you and Bucky have been looking forward to, because this is the appointment where you and him find out if you’re having a boy or a girl. Bucky is still going with his feeling of you having a girl, but like he said, just as long as the baby is healthy, he’s fine with either. So are you. Both of you were unable to contain yours and his excitement.

“Do you guys want to know the gender of your baby?” Your doctor asks.

“We want to know.” You say.

“Ok. Let’s find out if you’re having a baby boy or a baby girl.” She says.

Bucky held your hand like he always does at these doctors appointments. Your doctor paid close attention to the ultrasound monitor to figure out if you’re having a boy or a girl. The silence was killing you and Bucky. Then she finally found out what you’re having.

“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes! You’re having a baby girl!” Your doctor tells you and Bucky.

“A baby girl?” Bucky asks, making sure he heard her right.

“Yes.” She confirms.

“This is incredible! We’re having a girl!” He exclaims happily.

Yours and Bucky’s eyes filled with happy tears and he kisses you passionately. Your doctor printed out the ultrasound pictures and gave them to you. When you and Bucky got to the car, you and him sat in there for a moment.

“Can I tell you something?” You asked.

“Of course, doll. You can tell me anything.” Bucky says.

“I always imagined you would be a girl dad.” You say.

“You really imagined that?” He asks.

“Yes and now, it’s come true for us.” You say.

“It’s like a dream come true.” He smiles.

“It is.” You smiled.

“Can I tell you something now?” He asks.

“Of course, sweetheart.” You say.

“I just fell even more in love with you.” He says.

You smiled widely when he said that. Bucky leans over the center console to kiss you softly and sweetly. He put his hand on your pregnant belly.

“I want both of you to know that I’m going to do everything I can to protect you guys.” He vows softly.

That made your eyes tear up. His words are always so sweet. You put your hand on top of his.

“I love you, Buck.” You say softly.

“I love you too, babydoll.” He says softly.

Bucky leans down just enough to kiss your pregnant belly over your shirt.

“We love you too, baby girl.” He says softly.

Bucky’s love grows more and more for you and yours and his daughter everyday. You and yours and his baby girl are the two most important things in his life. He’s going to cherish both of you forever. He wouldn’t change it for the world either.

Yours and Bucky’s second wedding anniversary is next week. You two have been thinking about what you two should do. You two could go out for a romantic dinner at a really nice restaurant, but you and Bucky want to do something more fun and romantic. Bucky came up with the perfect idea to celebrate yours and his second wedding anniversary. He’s going to surprise you by taking you to see the polar lights for a week. The week of yours and his wedding anniversary to be exact. Bucky is excited to take you.

That’s not going to be the only surprise though. You’re going to surprise Bucky too. You found out that you’re pregnant a few days ago. You’re going to surprise him in the cutest way. You bought baby shoes and a onesie that says “best dad ever” on it with the ultrasound pictures and the three pregnancy tests you took. You put all of those items in a cute little gift bag that has baby animals on it. You’re more than excited to give it to him.

“Doll, are you home?” Bucky asks after he closes the door to yours and his apartment.

“I’m in the bedroom. I’ll be out in a minute.” You say.

You hid the gift bag behind a stack of blankets in the closet that’s in yours and Bucky’s bedroom. Then you went out to the living to greet your husband.

“Hi, baby.” You smiled, greeting him with a kiss.

“Hi, doll.” He smiles and kisses you back. “I thought of something we can do for our anniversary next week.” He says.

“Oh? What is it?” You curiously asked.

“We’re going a week long trip next week.” He tells you.

“That sounds fun and romantic.” You say.

“I know right.” He agrees.

“We should get packing.” You say.

That what you and Bucky exact did. Bucky’s back was turned to you as he was putting clothes in a duffel bag. That gave you the perfect opportunity to get Bucky’s surprise out of the closet and carefully put it into your bag. Bucky wraps his arms around you as you’re zipping up your bag.

“I can’t wait for our anniversary.” Bucky says softly.

“Me too.” You smiled.

You turned your head just enough to kiss him softly and sweetly. When next week finally comes, you were unable to contain your excitement.

“When’s the last time we went on a trip?” You asked.

“Our honeymoon.” Bucky says.

“Really? It’s been that long?” You asked.

“Yes.” He says.

“Wow. We need to go on vacation more often.” You say.

“I know right.” He agrees.

The drive to the hotel Bucky booked for the two of you was a few hours away, which made the car ride feel like forever, but it went by fast.

“Oh, wow.” You say, looking at the outside of the hotel.

“I know right.” Bucky says.

You and Bucky got yours and his bags out of the car and went inside of the hotel. You two got the room key and went up to the hotel room.

“Oh, wow. This room looks as big as the honeymoon suite we were in on our honeymoon.” You say.

“That’s because it is a honeymoon suite.” Bucky says.

You looked at your husband with the look of surprise on your face. Surprised in a good way.

“You did not.” You say speechlessly.

“I did.” He smiles. “It’s our second wedding anniversary. So, why not go all out.” He says.

You kissed him passionately, smiling against his lips.

“You’re the most romantic man in the universe.” You say softly.

“Only for you, doll face.” He smiles.

You smiled and kissed him again. Then you two took a look around the hotel room.

“This room is incredible.” You say.

“Don’t say that just yet, babydoll.” Bucky says.

“Why?” You asked.

Bucky gently grabs your hand and leads you out to the balcony where you and him are going to have the best view of the polar lights tonight.

“This is even more incredible.” You say, amazed by the view from the balcony.

“Wait until tonight.” He says.

“What’s happening tonight?” You asked.

“After dinner, we’re going to sit out here and watch the polar lights.” He says.

Your jaw dropped.

“No way!” You exclaimed excitedly.

“Yes way!” He exclaims just as excitedly as you.

You squealed excitedly and hugged him tightly. Then you cupped his cheeks.

“You always know how to surprise me.” You say softly.

“It’s my job as your husband to surprise you, doll.” Bucky says softly.

It’s your job as his wife to surprise him too, but his surprise is coming later.

“Let’s get ready for dinner.” He says.

You two kissed once more before getting ready for dinner. The restaurant you and Bucky had dinner at was incredible too. Then came time to watch the polar lights. Both of you watched it in amazement.

“This is beautiful.” You say amazed.

“You’re more beautiful.” Bucky compliments softly.

You couldn’t help but blush. Bucky never fails to make you blush.

“You’re the best husband in the world.” You say, leaning over to kiss him softly.

Bucky smiles at your words. You two watched the polar lights for a moment longer before you told him that you have a surprise for him.

“I have a surprise for you too.” You say.

“I told you that you didn’t have to get me anything, babydoll. Being married to you is the best thing I can ever have.” He says softly.

“This surprise is nonrefundable.” You say.

“Oh?” He asks.

You smiled and nodded before going back inside of the hotel room. You unzipped your bag and got the gift bag out of it. You went back out to the balcony and gave it to Bucky. Bucky looks at the gift bag with curiosity.

“Baby animals. Adorable.” Bucky smiles.

You were practically on the edge of your seat as Bucky opened the gift bag and took the contents of it out. He looked at each item carefully, starting with the baby shoes. Then he took the onesie out of the gift bag.

“Best dad ever.” Bucky reads aloud.

Finally, he pulls the ultrasound pictures and three positive pregnancy tests out of the gift bag. His jaw drops when he finally pieces everything together. Bucky’s eyes teared up with happiness and excitement.

“You’re pregnant?” Bucky asks softly.

“Yes!” You smiled.

Bucky looks at the baby shoes, onesie, ultrasound pictures, and the three pregnancy tests one more time before carefully putting all of the items back into the gift bag. He stands up, pulling you up with him. You squealed in surprise when he picked you up to hug you. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“We’re going to be parents!” Bucky exclaims loudly and excitedly.

“We’re going to be parents!” You say just as loudly and excitedly as him.

Bucky kisses you with so much passion that it takes yours and his breath away.

“When did you find out?” He asks.

“The day after you left for the mission. I thought it would be a cute idea to surprise you on our wedding anniversary.” You say.

“I’m more than surprised, babydoll.” He smiles.

Bucky gently puts you back on your feet and guides you to sit down. He gets on his knees in front of you and pulls your shirt up just enough to expose your soon to be pregnant belly to him.

“Hi, little one. I’m your daddy. Your mommy just surprised me with you. I just wanted to tell you how loved you already are and we can’t wait to meet you soon.” Bucky says softly and sweetly.

Your eyes teared up at Bucky’s soft and sweet words. He softly kisses your belly before pulling your shirt back down and looking up at you. He smiles widely at you before leaning up to kiss you.

“Happy anniversary, doll. I love you so much.” Bucky says softly.

“Happy anniversary, honey. I love you too.” You say just as softly.

This is the best wedding anniversary ever for you and Bucky. You and him are more than excited to celebrate it and have a baby together. That’s something you two will never take for granted. You two wouldn’t change it for the world either.

You and Bucky have been looking forward to this day since it got warmer outside. You and him are going to a beautiful meadow. He’s excited for it and he knows that you’re just as excited as him. There’s something else too. Bucky bought you the last book in the series you’re almost done reading. All you need is the last book. You’ve been looking everywhere for it. In store and online, but it’s sold out everywhere. Little do you know that you’re about to get that last book gifted to you in a little bit by your best friend.

“I’m ready to go whenever you are, doll.” Bucky says.

“I’m ready.” You smiled.

“Good. Let’s go.” He smiles.

Bucky, being the gentleman he is, opened the car door for you, which made you smile.

“You’re such a gentleman.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

Bucky blushes when you complimented him and kissed his cheek. He shut the car door and goes around to the drivers side and got in the car too. Then you two made yours and his way to the meadow. You and Bucky talked about it the whole car ride. That’s how you guys are. When you guys got there, you were unable to contain your excitement.

“Come on!” You exclaimed excitedly.

Bucky walks beside you as the two of you walked through the meadow, looking for the perfect spot to sit down, relax, and talk.

“What about here?” You asked, pointing at a tall tree that has a perfect amount of shade.

“Looks good to me.” Bucky says.

You and Bucky laid out a blanket on the grass so you two can be more comfortable while you two are sitting down. Bucky sat down and leaned against the tree. You sat down closely in front of him. After a little bit, you moved closer to him and laid your head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat is soothing. Bucky’s vibranium arm wraps around you, keeping you close to him. You started talking while playing with his right hand. Bucky listens in content with his eyes closed. He’s not sleeping or resting his eyes. He’s enjoying the moment. He’s just listening to the sound of your voice. To him, your voice is soft and sweet as honey. That’s one of the many things he loves about you.

The moment is so tender and romantic. Then his mind briefly drifted somewhere else. He wasn’t ignoring you. He was just thinking. He was thinking about his past with HYDRA and his time as the Winter Soldier. He never thought he would have moments like this with someone as sweet as you. He did horrible things as the Winter Soldier for years and now, this is his life. His lift now consists of you being his best friend. He adores you more than anything. Yours and his friendship is something he wouldn’t change for the world. Yours and his friendship is something he’s going to cherish forever and never take it for granted. Bucky was brought back to reality when you started talking about how perfectly yours and his hands fit together. He opens his eyes and looks at you and then looks at yours and his hands.

“My hand fits perfectly with yours, don’t you think?” You say, intertwining your fingers with his.

“They do, don’t they, babydoll.” Bucky agrees and smiles.

Bucky felt a warmth in his heart as he continues to admire how perfect yours and his hands fit together. Then he remembers that he bought you something.

“I bought you something.” Bucky says, sitting up.

“What did you buy me?” You curiously and excitedly asked.

Bucky takes the book out of the small and old leather bag. The book was neatly wrapped in floral wrapping paper. You gasped in surprise when you unwrapped it. It’s the last book to the series you’ve been looking everywhere for. You were puzzled as to how Bucky got his hands on it. Your lips parted a bit and you stammered with your words before forming a complete sentence.

“I’ve been looking for this book everywhere, but it was sold out in store and online. How did you get your hands on one?” You say.

“I have my ways.” Bucky grins softly. “I know how much you like the series and now, you can finish the series.” He says sweetly.

You were so happy that you’re on the verge of tears. You set the book down and gave him a hug, accidentally tackling him. Bucky smiles widely and wraps his arms around you. After a few seconds, the two of you readjusted yourselves. Now, you’re sitting on his lap, straddling him.

“You’re the best.” You say.

“You think so?” Bucky asks.

“Yes.” You smiled.

Bucky smiles back. Then he wipes away the tears of joy that escaped your eyes when you hugged him. You’re gazing deeply in his blue eyes as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. Without thinking, you kissed him. It was just a sweet and innocent peck on his lips, which caught him by surprise. Your eyes widen when you realized what you just did. As you were about to apologize, Bucky kisses you. This time, you’re the one who was caught by surprise. The kiss is soft, sweet, and passionate. You weren’t complaining one bit. Neither was he. Both of you were breathless when he pulled away and gazed deeply into each other’s eyes.

“I love you.” Bucky softly confesses.

“I love you too.” You confessed just as softly.

Bucky smiles and softly pecks your lips a few times.

“Go out with me?” He asks.

“I would love nothing more than to go out with you, Bucky.” You smiled widely.

“I love you, doll.” He says softly.

“I love you too, sweetie.” You say just as softly.

In that very moment is when Bucky realizes he deserves all of this. Not just yours and his friendship, yours and his whole entire relationship. Like he thought a few minutes ago, this is something he’ll never take for granted. He’s going to cherish the love you and him share. He wouldn’t change any of that for the world. That goes for you too.