gin's writing

Never did he think he would have to deal with your nightmares, your constant whimpering at night while you slept, or how you didn’t even remember being screaming while you slept—or never really spoke about it.

And of course, he never thought he would have you sleeping in his bed at least once a month when your heater or AC decided to act up in the middle of the night.

Somehow, if he closed his eyes enough, he could imagine this was a domestic situation. One where he had the chance to be someone normal by your side.

He was almost falling asleep when he heard his door creaking open.

“Bucky,” you murmured.

“Just c’mere. I have a briefing very early and need to sleep now.” He rolled to the side of the bed to make space for you.

He had learned you slept better when you were in the space between the wall and him. Therefore, he slept better, too.

He felt your weight in the bed and then how you crawled to his side—but something felt different—your hands sought for heat in his back in a different way, your hands traveled from his back to almost cuddle him, and then, you rested them on his stomach.

He could hear an almost relieved sigh as soon as your freezing hands found heat in his stomach.

“Are you okay?” He asked without turning around.

You nodded, but with the slow movement, he felt your cheek grazing his back—it was dampened. He squeezed your hands and set himself free just to turn around and find your face.

You were crying. Red and puffy eyes with a clearly distraught look.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

You shook your head, “I was just cold.”

He didn’t push further and just held your arms and made him hug you. Your head rested on his bicep while your face found his chest, and a woodsy scent that soothed every bad thought you could have had at that moment.

“Just sleep, you have a long day tomorrow.” He mumbled with his eyes closed.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“Don’t even say it.”

Before you could notice, you found yourself knocking on his door almost weekly, and the days you didn’t were because he had guided you to his bedroom immediately after dinner time.

‘I need to sleep, and I just know your heater is going to act up today, let’s skip some steps.’ He would say as an excuse.

The truth behind it was that he missed you in the days you were strong enough to sleep on your own, or the days you were so tired that your nightmares weren’t stronger than you.

Even if it was in the middle of a mission, you would find a way to sleep closer to him than to anyone else.

Always the same, you hugged him from behind, and he would turn around to embrace you with his arms. Every damn time, it was the same ritual. And he loved it, he loved to feel your freezing hands finding their way to his bare warm stomach.

But one night, he didn’t even realize he did it.

He kissed you good night.

It was tender, not really calculated; it was more heartfelt.

You were crawling to his side, and before you could do your part of the deal, he was already hugging you by the waist, leaning in to kiss your lips, only to tug you immediately onto his chest.

You didn’t even sleep at all.

You were just overthinking what he had just done.

How were you supposed to act normally after weeks of sleeping together in what you thought was a grounding act for you both? And now, he had kissed you.

And didn’t even overthink it.

So the next night, the same.

He waited for you to finish your night ritual and held your hand, guiding you to his bedroom.

But this time, the air grew thicker.

The way he closed the door and locked it behind him was something new.

You both knew no one would ever come to your shared loft in the tower without previous warning, and of course, no one would even think of opening Bucky Barnes’ door without a knock first.

You crawled to your spot while he took off his shirt, and he rested on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

You decided to take the first step and rested your head on his chest. He stroked your hair slowly and then looked down at you.

“I’m sorry for last night.”

You straightened your body on your elbows and looked at him.

Something snapped within you, and you moved yourself closer. “Do you regret it?”

He swallowed and shook his head. You bracketed his face and captured his lips in a kiss. Soft, warm, anchoring.

“I don’t either.”

He pulled you into his lap and pressed your head flush against his chest.

“You were the one seeking warmth, and I was the one who found home in your freezing hands.”

You twitched a smile.

“I thought you hated my freezing hands on your warm skin.”

“Oh, I hate them, but I hate even more when they are not on me. I hate to be woken up with two ice in the form of hands stealing my warmth, but I hate even more to hear you cry from a nightmare when you’re too stubborn to seek me.”

Keeps muttering that he's fucking this up somehow, and you don't know how to tell him he's the most gorgeous thing you've seen in a long while - eyes wide, mouth constantly parted, slightly flushed.

Who cannot stop silently thanking some higher power when your bra finally comes off, and most definitely cannot keep his mouth off you - or his teeth, for that matter.

Gets so caught up in the softness of you that he barely registers the fact you're moving your hips against him.

Who can't stop panting into the space between your neck and shoulder when you tangle your fingers into the hair at the base of his neck, tugging ever-so-slightly while you grind down harder on him.

Who barely has time to warn you before he comes in his boxers, his thumbs pressing so hard into your hips you can already feel the purple forming.

Who lets out a noise crossed between a whimper and a moan, so lustful it makes you gasp.

“It’s may be hard clicking with the others,” Valentina told you. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“I’m so excited. I’ve always admired the Avengers. What Tony Stark did to save the world was sad but…”

“Necessary.” Valentina finished the phrase.

So that’s when you, Y/N Y/L/N, made the official appearance in the new Avengers’ Tower.

“Hey,” a blond girl told you, moving toward you. “Must be Y/N.” She stretched her arm. “Yelena. Yelena Belova.”

“Nat’s sister… nice to meet you.”

Yelena proceeded to present the other members of the team. Once she finished, after Bob already declared himself as your best friend gaining a fake offence from Yelena, the elevator opened.

Bucky Barnes appeared.

Tactical gear still on, gun on his belt and a shiny arm. A tired look on his face and bags under his blue eyes.

“Sam’s and ass he took credit for it…” he said without anger, just mocking Sam. “Left him at his house after hearing him talking… who are you?” He asked you, stopping his monologue about Sam.

“Hi,” you immediately stretched your arm. “I’m Y/N… from Shield…” you said, retiring your hand once you understood he wasn’t going to shake it.

“Don’t need another member.”

“It’s not our choice Barnes,” John intervened. “And she seems amazing by the way.”

You nodded toward the tall man, silently thanking him.

Bucky grunted and without stepping outside of the elevator, he pushed the button to his floor and the door closed.

“Is he always like that?” You asked.

“Sometimes…” Ava replied.

“But he’s okay… I mean he’s with us…” Bob shyly said. “You’ll be under our wing, don’t worry.”

As the weeks passed, Bucky didn’t seem to move from his idea.

It was now almost a month since your arrival. The team quickly discovered why Valentina chose to add you to them. During a particularly thought mission, they found out your ability.

You moved like a shadow, anticipating every enemy’s moves. Swinging on the field, covering Yelena and then starting a fight just as Ava could disappear without being noticed.

As Yelena was standing in front of an agent, another one was getting ready to take her from behind. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed it and stretched your arm. A white light came out of your palm and it was like the world around you all stopped suddenly. A cone of ice erupted from the dry ground killing the agent behind Yelena, stabbing him. As the other agent lost track for a second, Yelena was able to shoot him in his chest. He felt down right in front of her. Faking unimpressive, Yelena simply nodded at you.

There was no time for explanation.

“God you’re amazing,” John told you, hitting an agent with his elbow. He was truly impressed by your ability, just as Ava.

“Thanks John… you’re-“

“Can we stop talking?” Bucky growled. His voice, deep and cold, interrupted you. It was like he didn’t see the massive ice cone coming out of the ground, or if he did see it, he was totally unbiased by the situation.

You look down for a second.

“Sorry man.” John said, before knocking out for the good the agent.

In and out, no witnesses left and mission accomplished.

On the jet, everyone asked you to explain.

Everyone but Bucky.

At the tower you all entered in the common room where Bob, still recovering from his transformation in Sentry, was waiting.

“Bob,” Yelena yelled happily. “You should have seen her.” She jumped on the couch, messing his hair. “She’s magic…I mean really magic…” Yelena had stars in her eyes, which was totally out of her character. “She’s magic practically save us.”

“She didn’t save us,” Bucky said. “We save ourselves.”

“Shut up, Barnes.” Ava told him. “If she hadn’t made that ice cone appear Yelena wouldn’t have killed that agent and we would have wasted time unnecessarily… she practically save us.” She hugged your side.

“Ice cone?” Bob asked astonished. “You made an ice cone from… AN ICE CONE?” Bob’s voice peaked up.

You explained to them how you got your powers.

“Yes, I have some powers,” you said, looking down.

Bucky, sat on a stool having a coffee, rising his head slightly. He was listening.

“I… was born like that and I was always been told my powers are white because it’s linked with who I am,” you began kneading your fingers. “I can control ice… as you all saw,”

“Hell yeah we saw it,” John happily announced.

“Yeah… and I can heal from injury or even worse if that’s the case… without being hurt myself.”

You noticed Bucky’s eyebrow rose a little.

“What else can you do?” Bob asked you interested.

“I can bring back someone’s life… never done it but I can…”

Everyone around you cheered and laughed at the revelation.

Bucky remained silent for a moment, drinking his black coffee. “No one is born like that.”

And with that, he finished his coffee and left the room.

A wave of sadness rose into your body. Your eyes lowered on the floor.

You didn’t know why Bucky treated you like that, since you were always so kind with him like you did with everyone else.

Like for example, a couple of days before when you made a fresh batch of coffee.

You were already awake as you suffered from insomnia. You took all the five cups out of the cabinet, since you already drank you coffee.

Yelena had a yellow one with the bees.

Ava chose a blue one with a unicorn.

Bob had a vintage one from a flee market.

John chose to keep his white one from his time in the military.

Bucky of course had a black one, no illustrations and nothing written on it. Black and simple, kinda like him.

Coffee and milk for Yelena and Ava, way more milk and cream for Bob and a black coffee with three sugars for John like you. At the end, a black and steaming cup for Bucky. No sugar and no milk.

Everyone arrived and picked up their cup. Bob even licked his lips as the warm milky foam remained on his mouth. “Better than the cafe around the corner.”

You smiled warmly.

Yelena, Ava and John did thank you even before picking their cups.

As Bucky entered the kitchen, the voices got lower. Black shirt and shorts, sneakers already on. “Morning,” he said to all.

You hoped it was to you too. “Morning Bucky. Made you the coffee…” you said pointing at his cup.

“Going for a run. Walker would you like to join?” He asked completely ignoring you, opening the fridge.

“Not today.” He said taking Bucky’s cup. “Perfect.” He smiled, after taking a sip.

As Bucky got out of the kitchen, John made a weird face. “How is he even like this thing?”

“Why did you drink it?” You asked him.

“Wasn’t let him ruin the day… but now I really need sugar.”

“Here,” you handed him his cup. “Made you already. It’s gonna be a little cold.”

“No problem.” He said, kissing your head.

As the days passed, you saw at John as a big brother and that care made you smile.

“Barnes is… tough.” Ava began. “He needs time.”

“Seems like he hates me,” you stood, emptying your cup. “I’m gonna go to the gym. Call me if you need.”

In the gym, thankfully alone, you punched the bag attached to the ceiling. Every fist controlled and powerful. You took some second in between session to regain your breath.

You moved onto the treadmill, setting the maximum pace.

Running always made you feel better.

You were so caught up with your pace, that you didn’t notice someone on the threshold of the entrance.

Bucky stood there, sweaty after his run. He always used the gym to decompress after his exercise. He looked at you, still holding his breath as you could hear it above the music you had in your ears. He looked again and left, forcing himself to break his routine.

The routine was everything to Bucky and even a simple difference made him feel bad. After being taken out of HYDRA, rescued and loved in a way by the Avengers and now the Thunderbolts, he thought about having his life settled.

Your arrival made everything different.

You were always so bright and kind and loving even toward him. You made lunch and dinner for everybody. You prepare a new batch of coffee at morning and now you were occupying the gym.

Bucky knew you didn’t do anything wrong but still, he didn’t want to be engaged with you. Someone could say he wasn’t interested in getting to know you because he knew deep down, or so that was what he was thinking, that you hid something. In his mind, no one could be this kind without the urge to make amend for something. He knew it pretty well. He decided to keep an eye on you, afar but still on you constantly.

During missions, you noticed how he was slightly nearer you. In the field, his eyes always seemed to be moving toward your figure.

Meal time was the time he would spend more time listening and watching you.

You were always happy and bright. Always ready to clean up the table and make a coffee ending the meal.

It happened sometimes, that he didn’t see you leaving the room. They were the days when you felt the more nostalgia. You missed your family, especially your father.

Your parents raised you in an happy and loving family. You grew up with a step brother slightly older than you, and a little sister who looked at you like you hung up the moon.

You remained linked to your family no matter what.

Your family retired in some little town in the mountains. They were happy for you, for this new adventure with the New Avengers. They always saw something special about you, not only because you were their daughter.

When you chose the Shield, they fully supported you and when you broke down the news of joining the former Thunderbolts team, your father almost cried.

“We always knew you had something in special despite the circumstances.”

You hugged them tightly, then your brother and sister, before leaving for New York.

It was now six month since your arrival, when Valentina entered the common room. “Barnes and Y/L/N,” Valentina spoke. “Come here.”

You were on the couch with the others, while Bucky was in the kitchen. Once you were all there, Valentina spoke again. “So,” she clapped her hands. “We need two agents for an undercover operation. Two months.”

Everyone looked at each other knowing already what she was going to say.

“Barnes and Y/L/N,” she said smiling. “Congratulation on your wedding. Leaving in three days. You’re gonna have all the details from Mel.”

“WHAT?” Bucky exclaimed. “Absolutely no. I’m out.” Bucky stood abruptly.

“Not so fast, soldier. You don’t have a choice.”

You remained frozen on the couch.

“Barnes,” Valentina moved toward Bucky. He towered over her, but she wasn’t scared at all. “I fear,” she rested his hand on his flesh arm. “That you’re in the idea of… how can I say? Oh yeah… making decisions.” She smiled softly. “We need two agents. They have to be married and happy and…”

“In love?” Mel suggested, already regretting once Bucky looked at her.

“Right… in love. Can you fake it?”

She opened her arms, waiting for an answer.

Bucky, cornered, nodded his head.

“Wonderful,” she looked at you. “And you sweet Y/N? Can you be in love with this guy for a couple of months?”

“I’ll try.” You looked down, not being able to look at Bucky’s face.

“Amazing,” she turned to Mel. “So, informed them. I’ll be in the office all day.”

Once she got out, Mel gave Bucky and Y/N two folder.

“You’re gonna be Andrew and Jane and you got married a couple of years ago. This,” she handed you another folder, toward both of you stretched your arm softly touching your fingers. “Is gonna be your apartment. It’s right above the night club you need to take down.”

“Wait,” Bucky exclaimed. “You want us to be undercover for two months to take down a night club? Am I a bodyguard now?”

“Mr. Barnes-“

“Bucky, please.”

“Bucky… this is not a standard night club. We… think there is some sort of despatch for some new drugs and…”

Mel stopped talking.

“And?” Bucky said, beginning to be impatient.

“We found out some trace of a serum in some pills…”

She didn’t need to specify what type of serum, Bucky already understood. You didn’t tell anyone about your past, about your powers. You only told them what you wanted. You realised it was a bold choice but you thought about the implications and you weren’t willing to let them misjudged you. As Mel left, you were still shocked about the new mission.

Two whole months pretending to love Bucky Barnes.

Truth to be told, you didn’t need to pretend.

You couldn’t get why you felt what you felt for him. He was rude and even slightly aggressive to you, but you knew what he could have passed during his past. Maybe in that tower you were the only one who could understand him completely.

Your father, a glorious member of the military, was kidnapped by HYDRA. The same HYDRA that used to imprisoned Bucky making him known as the Winter Soldier to the world.

They used to keep their scientifically experiments on going, trying to make every time a newer version of the serum. Making it stronger and more powerful.

Your father, unfortunately, was the perfect example of experiment for them. He was single at the time, not that it would have changed something for them, perfect shape and strong built. Bucky was already the Winter Soldier at the time, but they wanted to use more men to their purposes.

He still didn’t know how and what went wrong.

As the serum run into his veins, he didn’t show the usual effects. He wasn’t any faster or stronger or even angrier. This alone made them disappointed, as they failed the experiment. Once they found out their mistake or their negligence, they hit and punched all over your father in one of their cells.

Broken ankles, ribs incapable of hold up a man like him and a fragile mind due to the constantly experiment.

That’s how your soon to be mother, found him.

She was working in a hospital when, during a night storm, HYDRA abandoned your father. He was leaning on a concrete bench on the ground, bleeding and unable to move or stand. She took care of him, as her job demanded but as the time passed, she felt in love with him just as he did with her.

He told her everything about him once they began dating, knowing she was pretty young and willing to have a family. He explained how he would have been probably the worst husband, as he wasn’t able to gave her the family she wanted, but she didn’t hesitate. She loved that man and she already chose him as her lover.

Years passed, they got married and one day she came running with a stick in her hand. “I’m pregnant!”

He picked her up and hugged her so tight. “Oh god, the baby… I’m sorry…” he said, kneeling on the ground.

“Don’t worry my love,” she said, caressing his hair. “It’s too soon to worry.”

After nine months of nausea, a beautiful girl was born.

She had her features but his eyes. She was the most gorgeous baby in the world for them.

As she grew, around three months after being born, they began to notice some particular abilities.

Her hands were always cold, no matter what temperature was in the house. Once she was able to crawl on her own, your mom noticed how your little hands always left a trace of cold water behind you. It wasn’t just the water that made them worried, it was also how you quickly moved on the floor or the beautiful but quite intimidating look in your eyes.

One day, they had their confirmation.

Your mom was on the rung ladder, trying to take down a box. She misjudged the distance and misplaced her foot. She felt or that what’s she was thinking.

In that moment, your father was coming back from the grocery store. Hands full of bags and mouth wide opened. “My love-” He didn’t complete the sentence.

Your mom was floating in the air, the box ahead of her floating too.

On the ground, a little smiley baby clapping her hands.

Your mom regained the balance just as your father use his shoulder to let her sit, after letting the groceries falling down. They moved the box on the ground, crushing it noisily making you cry a little.

Feet on the floor, your mom run to you. “No, sweetie… don’t cry. It’s all good.” She tickled your stomach and you began to laugh again.

They looked at each other in the eyes, knowing this wasn’t a typical case of medical issues.

Luckily, your mom knew someone.

It was one of the older nurses, she escaped HYDRA too. She was also the one who listened to her, truly listened to her, when she told her the story of the gorgeous man bleeding on the bench in front of the hospital.

She took a look at you, while you were playing with your hand. “She’s perfectly fine but,” she took off her glasses.

“But?” Your dad asked her worried.

“She might have some special… ability… let’s say.”

“Are you implying my daughter is a super soldier?”

“Not necessarily,” she pondered how to broke the news. “The serum they used on you might have skipped your system but settled into her blood.”

Your father broke down crying. Your mom sat keeping you into her arms.

The journey back home wasn’t pleasant, but they kept the volume down to not let you get scarred.

“It’s not your fault,” your mom told him. “I already explained to you. It’s their fault, not yours.”

“Feels like it’s mine…” he said, keeping his hands on the steering wheel.

“Well, it’s not… so stop this.” She whispered smiling.

They made you live a perfectly normal life, without the pressure of the power in you. They noticed tho, how you were able to pick a dead flower on the ground and make it alive again.

In the summer, when the heat was impossible to avoid, they kept playing with your hand. It was either for some coldness but also to see how you would react to a constantly touch.

Once you turned 18, they explained all.

You took the news very well. It was in your character. Always kind and understanding. Your father kept asking you sorry, you hugged him tighter every time.

In about three days, you would be Bucky’s fake wife.

He spent the firsts two days in his room, isolating himself from the approaching mission. He had breakfast at four in the morning, lunch in the early afternoon and dinner late at night. He did all of that just to avoid you, and you noticed.

Of course you noticed.

You didn’t think about being Bucky’s best friend of course, but you didn’t mind spending time with him too. You couldn’t deny that seeing him the first time, made your heart racing. He was gorgeous and massive and his voice, the few times you clearly heard him, sounded like a melody. You tried, as the days passed to get to know him.

Handing him the coffee in the morning was the first step but he didn’t accept it. Making a meal for everyone didn’t do the job either.

You respected his silence, even tho you two would have to have a conversation sooner or later about the mission. You spent three time reading alone the folders Mel gave you. You read about the apparently ceremony on a beach in Greece you two had. You could almost picture it.

Your white and soft dress, moved by the light see breeze. Bucky with a dark blue suit, no tie and a couple of buttons opened. Smiles and laughs and a lot of friends cheering for you.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts.

“Coming,” you said in the air, thinking it was Bob or Yelena. “Miss me so much-”

Bucky was behind that door, waiting in the corridor like a statue. “Let’s get this done,”

You moved and let him inside.

He noticed the folder opened on the bed, just as you noticed his folder crushed by his hand. “So tomorrow we prepare the essentials,” he said sitting on the edge of the desk, which creaked under his weight. “Valentina provides for everything. It’s gonna be all already in the apartment.” He said that methodically and practically.

“Shouldn’t we talked about… us?” He perked his eyebrow. “Well not us but… yeah us.”

“There’s no us, Y/N.”

“Of course,” you coughed a little. “The us for those two months.”

“Again, there’s no us. We need to be a little affectionate for the people outside. Once we’re alone, we’re strangers again.”

Strangers.

So that’s why you were for him. Someone came in his little world disrupting it.

“Gotcha… strangers.” You said, keeping your smiling on your face.

He left your room after a few more indications.

Door closed, your eyes began to sting.

The third day, Bucky kept himself again isolated in his room.

You packed your essentials, some make up and jewellery and removed your father’s necklace. You kept it hidden above your shirt, no one saw it. Around eight in the evening, the jet was ready to leave.

Bucky shook John’s hand, quickly and politely and wave to Bob, Ava and Yelena.

You, always you, hugged each of them with a bright smile on your face.

“Don’t let him ruin the mission,” Yelena whispered.

You heard about super soldiers and their earring, your father had super hearing, so you knew Bucky heard it.

You didn’t know if you heard him huffing or it was a sick joke of your mind.

Valentina waited for you. She glanced at Bucky, smiling at him. You saw his corner lightly rising as the gentleman he was.

She moved in front of you. “Your first undercover mission for us. It’s gonna be amazing I’m sure of it.” She caressed your arms. “I put the dress for a party in the closet. It’s a fancy one so be impeccable.”

“Why the boss of a night club should have a fancy party?” Bucky asked.

“Because Barnes,” Valentina moved closed to him. “He needs funds and black tie’s party are the most effective way to do it.”

You both got on the jet as the door closed. Sitting in front of each other, the mission began.

“They’re gonna be together you know?” Valentina said.

“Twenty bucks Barnes’s gonna be the first crumbling.” Yelena proposed.

They all laughed and agreed before entering the tower.

On the jet, the silence made it clear that you were not going to be able to hear anything other that the engines. You glanced at him once, keep reading the folder. Bucky loaded and unloaded his gun at least three times. He glanced at you too.

“So Andrew?” You asked Bucky, reading the folder.

“Yes, Jane.” He replied without looking at you.

Could that be the first sign of truce? Maybe.

Bucky spent the flight sleeping, or at least faking the sleep. He had his mind full, his brain working non stop and it was all your fault.

He spent the two days in his room looking at the files.

“Maybe they burn if I stared at them for too long.” He told to himself aloud in his room.

Bucky didn’t want to have your face in his mind constantly.

Your hair to soft, your smile too bright, your eyes to shiny and your voice like a melody. When he saw you the first time, his heart was beating so fast he couldn’t even breathe correctly.

An angel in the tower, that’s what he thought about you.

He put up with his hard facade, since he knew he couldn’t believe or trust you right after seeing you the first time.

Truth to be told, Bucky would have immediately put his life into your hands.

Reading the file, he began thinking about how your life with him could be.

It was a fake one, but it was something.

The idea of being able to kiss you or hug you or even hold your hand was the thing that kept him awake during the evening. Deciding to avoid you? Not his best idea, but it was the only way to get you far from him even tho it seemed you didn’t like to get far from him.

Bucky was mesmerised by you, he truly was but he also had to protect himself after years of being treated like a nobody.

Usually, HYDRA taught it to him, overly kind and gentle people had to make amends for something so brutal and awful did in the past.

Bucky knew how this was.

HYDRA made him a weapon, the most lethal and terrible one. People were scared of him and he had to make a gigantic amend to made people believe him.

He was still the same tough and slightly rude old man, but inside he was even the same old boy who helped Steve when bullies kicked him in the alleys. Y/N was definitely too kind, but it wasn’t the first time someone like you, a literal angel, was in reality someone so bad and awful. He already seen the scenario and he didn’t like it.

Back when he was fighting the Flag Smashers with Sam and John Walkers, the little and cute Karlie made his all world crumbled.

In his mind, you could be the same and he couldn’t risk it all for some feelings even to he began to realise there was no escape from the feelings.

The rational part of him made him thinking.

If she was so bad, why Valentina hired her as a new member of the team?

Shouldn’t be in the raft like criminals or worse, former HYDRA agent?

Seeing you as a potential threat like being a sleepy HYDRA agent made his blood boil, and even tho he was still very much attracted to you, spiritually and physically, he decided to kept the facade on and have a little digging in your past.

Family? Normal.

Education? A normal and “boring” school somewhere in the countryside.

Former experience? Training with Shield after discovering the powers you had.

Current occupation? New member of the New Avengers and probably crush of John Walker.

He grunted and growled at the last point.

He kept looking at you, he told himself for the digging he had to do, but it was just and excuse. The upcoming mission made him tremble on his legs. He cleared the case fast enough with Valentina and Mel and run to his room. Once he was inside, he threw himself on the bed face against the pillow.

He suffocated a grunt and push the pillow more against his face.

“Why me?” He mumbled in the soft pillow. “Why?”

He began thinking, really thinking, at the implications.

He would have to hold your hand, easy job.

He would have to hug you, slightly out of his comfort zone but manageable.

He would have to kiss you, this made the mission tougher than any mission implying HYDRA ever did.

As the jet landed, Bucky let you out first. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent.

First sign of his surrender.

A car waited for you, keys above the tire.

He helped with the small luggage and put it with his in the back.

On the jet before landing, you both changed. You picked a light blue sundress with white sneakers. Your hair down, free from anything. They moved along the light breeze and Bucky’s super smell caught every particle of scent. He opted for a pair of black trouser and a white shirt, casual and comfy. The t-shirt was too white, your dress too light. He stuttered a little when he saw you, just as you did looking at his chest in that t-shirt.

Absentmindedly, he opened the door for you.

“Thanks,”

He nodded and quickly circled the car jumping on. Keys in the ignition and the car moved.

The dress slid up a little, your legs now slightly more visible.

He gripped the steering wheel with his metal hand, while the other one, kept its grip on the gear. He was very tempted by grazing your skin, already tanned.

“When we’re there,” Bucky began talking. “We…uh… should begin the process… I mean the marriage…”

“Uh- sure,” you replied. “What’s your idea?”

“Don’t know…” Bucky gripped the steering wheel harder. “I can opened the door for you and maybe put my arm on your shoulders…”

Your breath caught in your throat.

He spent weeks avoiding you and now he was willing to do all of that. You were aware of why he needed to do that, but as the skilled agent he was he could have found another way.

“Fine by me.” You smiled at him and you saw how his lips slightly raised.

The rest of the journey was used to make a tactical plan. You found out you were able to talk and you decided about what you could and couldn’t do.

Arms around the shoulders? Fine.

Hugging the side? Also fine.

Kisses? Not necessarily if not the least of your resources.

He entered the street, in a very beautiful district with lots and lots of condos there.

Valentina thought that getting an apartment would have been way more easier than a solo house.

“Less welcoming from neighbours,” she said. “And the nightclub is right ahead of you in one of the most popular and crowded streets.”

Once Bucky parked the car in one of the street spot, he jumped off and circled the car. He picked the luggage in the back and walked toward your door. He opened it, still having all the bag in his covered metal arm, and let you jumped off too.

As he said in the car, he circled your shoulders.

Ahead of the condo, where the lodge was, a couple of man were waiting for you. Valentina called some Shield’s agents to help you with moving, just for making the thing more real.

“Andrew?” One of the man called. “And you must be Jane, right?”

The man, fully aware of you too, glanced at you a little too much. Bucky’s hand lightly pressed more on you.

“Yeah, we talked on the phone.” Bucky replied, arm still on you.

“Miss Mel gave us the keys and we put the boxes already in the apartment. Here’s the key,” he stretched the arm in front of you.

“Thanks,” Bucky grabbed them, losing the contact with your body. “I’ll have them.”

Once the concierge man got out and saluted you, Bucky grabbed the luggage he rested for a second on the ground before you could take them.

“Let me, Jane.”

You nodded smiling, while grabbing his biceps. “Always a gentleman,” you kissed his clothed arm.

The metal one.

“I’m sure he is,” the concierge man told you. “Hey, are you not hot with that cover?” He said pointing at the covered arm.

Bucky that day opted for a white T-shirt, but he put an additional sleeve and glove just on the left arm.

“Uh,” Bucky said smiling. “A little, but gotta do what I have to do… lost it serving the country…”

The man nodded proudly.

Valentina chose your cover precisely and that included Bucky being in the military due to his built.

“Big guy I can let you walk out there without not putting in the army.”

Bucky nodded but you noticed how he had a slightly sad look.

You cover was way more easier. Jane was an author and needs to spent time home writing her first novel.

After talking a little with the concierge, and a couple of your new neighbours, you and Bucky got in the elevator and pressed the button of your floor. Valentina chose the attic.

“Maximum security and comfort,” she told you while she explained the mission. “And you won’t have anyone above you.”

Bucky’s arm was still on your shoulders. He noticed when you were already at your floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.” And again, you grabbed his biceps.

Inside, the apartment was gorgeous.

Entering in the large, maybe too large, living room you could accessed to the kitchen on the left and the terrace right in front of you. Getting out, Bucky glanced down. “Here’s the club.”

“Crowed even during the day.” You added.

You got back inside and looked for the bedrooms.

Entering the corridor, you saw two identical bathroom and two others doors. You grabbed a knob, while Bucky grabbed the other one.

Two bedrooms, same style.

You nodded at each other and entered closing behind both doors. You both lost track of the time.

You felt asleep and a knock on the door woke you up. You heard talking behind the door and opened it.

“Yeah we’re here. We must have felt asleep,” Bucky said, phone against his ear. “Valentina.” He silently mouthed you.

“Hi Val,” you said, scratching your eyes yawning.

“She asked if you’re okay,” Bucky reported you.

You raised your thumb entering the bathroom.

Bucky smiled at your back.

You splashed some fresh water on your face, while he was still talking. You got out of the bathroom with the dress still on, so while you heard Bucky saluting Valentina you got back in the room to change. You got out some minutes later, after checking the clothes she chose for you. You picked some short and a blouse.

“What something to eat?” You asked Bucky with your usual smile.

“Yeah, I can order something.”

You opening the fridge still and looked inside, bending down a little.

Bucky stood from the couch and stopped walking.

That’s gonna be tough, he thought.

“Uh… she packed already the fridge I see…” he noticed.

“And the pantry,” you said, opening some cabinets. “Fancy some pasta?” You said already picking a pack of spaghetti.

“Pasta’s fine.”

You picked pans and pots and started to cook, while he got the table ready. You moved already like a couple.

Once it was ready, you sat in front of each other.

“What’s the plan for today, Andrew?”

“Practising already?”

“Well,” you said picking a big fork of pasta. “Gotta know what’s my husband wants.”

He looked at his finger. The ring sat there, calm and steady.

You looked down at your hand too and played with it.

“You chose a good one,” you teased him.

“Gotta know what’s my wife wants.” He smiled softly.

In that moment you thought that you could do anything.

During the afternoon, you decided to take a look at the district. You walked onto the Main Street, where the club was. Your shoulders kept bumping into each other. At the crosswalk, he let you stay in front of him slightly and put his hand onto your lower back.

You pushed yourself behind, resting yourself a little on his body. You decided to have a coffee in a cafe near the club.

“We should take a look at the bodyguard’s past. Looks he has some past,” Bucky said sipping his coffee.

“We’ll do it tonight after-”

“WHAT A LOVELY COUPLE! PLEASE LET ME TAKE A PICTURE!” A man yelled happily.

You looked at him and smiled. “Oh Andrew look,” you said pointing at his Polaroid. “Can we take one please?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied smiling.

It was the first real smile you saw on his face.

The man told you to get closer. You did and your cheek crushed on his.

As he took the picture, you stayed there for a couple of seconds more. He gave it to Bucky and he gave him some money.

“Thank you! Thank you! Really nice couple.”

“Thanks.” You both replied.

At the sun sat down, you got back to the apartment.

Bucky talked and you found out he liked talking a lot.

You began a routine.

At breakfast you always prepared the coffee and this time, Bucky always picked the cup from your hands.

At lunch he cooked, failing sometimes, but you ate no matter what.

Dinner time was the funniest moment, whoever lost the game of searching different things or people made the dinner.

You sat on the terrace, binoculars in your hands for the recognition of the club, trying to beat a super soldier.

“There. On the bench. A guy with a red shirt.”

You huffed.

“Oh… on the balcony. Second floor. A dog sleeping.”

“Buckyyy... c’mon.”

“What? You can’t beat me.” He snorted. “There, on the first floor. Someone dancing.”

You raised your arm, waving an imaginary white flag.

Useless to say, you made dinner every night.

The first week goes pretty well. Bucky finally opened up and smiled even more.

He talked about his past, which of course you knew already. “It wasn’t simple getting into the game again. My skills were used to the wrong purposes and… it took me a lot.”

You rested your hand on his. “But you were stronger. Everyone knew you were the victim, Bucky. Don’t let stupid people thing something else of you.”

“And you?” He asked after some minutes of silence. “What’s your story?”

“You know my story. I know you looked at it.”

“Maybe but I want to hear it from you.”

You told him everything but the HYDRA part about your father. He would have known, but it wasn’t the right time.

“So you’re a genetic miracle?” He said softly but quiet not fully convincing.

“You can say that.” You involuntarily touched your neck.

“Left the necklace at home?”

“How do you know about it?”

I can’t stop staring at you, Bucky thought.

“I’m a pretty good observer.”

“It’s a gift from someone very important.”

“A lover?” He shyly asked.

“Much more like a dad,” you laughed.

You couldn’t tell if it was real but his all body relaxed.

Two weeks in, you collected a lot of information about the club and the owner.

You tracked how the same guy made back and forth with a big bag every two days.

The owner, a man with dark hair always wearing black clothes, made long phone calls on the threshold of his club every morning.

“Right in front of everyone,” Bucky noticed.

“So he seems like a normal guy.” You added.

At the beginning of the third week, you decided it was time to get into the club. You picked a short green dress. No sleeves or collar. Bucky opted for a black shirt, two buttons opened, and tight jeans. You reached the elevator and then he kissed your naked shoulder.

“Cameras,” he told you whispering.

It was a mere excuse, and Bucky took advantage of that.

“Right.” You said peaking his cheek.

You entered the elevator hand in hand. You stepped out of the building and crossed the street.

“Andrew and Jane.” Bucky told the bodyguard, circling your waist.

He let you enter.

The hostess inside took a glance of Bucky and you felt a wave of jealousy rising inside you. You sat at a table and admire the interior.

“Didn’t think it was like that…” you said, sitting.

Bucky too took a glance around him. “Thought it was a stripper club…”

You ordered a couple of drinks, a martini for yourself and a whiskey for Bucky.

He sipped it slowly, letting his mouth curling around the edge of the glass. You played with the glass and then took a sip too.

A drop felt from your mouth and Bucky quickly cleaned it.

“Thanks,” you whispered. “We should take a look around.”

“Fancy a dance wifey?”

“With absolute pleasure, hubby.”

He stood and stretched his arm, you took it and stood too. He guided you on the dance floor where tons of people were moving and dancing. You turned, giving him a look of your back. He pulled you toward him, crushing on his chest. You swayed your hips following the music. He grabbed your hips, letting you guide him.

You turned your head a little, talking at his ear. “We should dance toward that door,” you turned into his arms. “Seems like it’s protecting something important.”

He nodded.

You began to slide on the floor, trying following the music.

Once you where near the door, he tried to grab the knob. The doors was of course locked.

“Can try to open it,” he said. “Need some time tho.”

As he took out the lock’s pick, someone was heard talking in the background.

Bucky stood abruptly and pushed you against the wall. He grabbed your hips and pushed himself more on you.

He angled his face and kissed you.

It wasn’t romantic.

It wasn’t prepared.

It was just the heat of moment after being almost blown out. You respond to the kiss immediately. Circling his neck, you pressed even more on him. Your fingers tangled in his locks. His leg in the middle of your, caging you. You lifted you leg, he gripped it under your tight. You both moaned in the kiss not noticing the two men arriving.

“Guys you can’t-”

You kept kissing a couple second more.

Too many.

“Oh sorry guys,” the man said quiet embarrassed. “Sorry but you can’t stay here.”

You were frozen.

“Uh… yeah… sorry,” Bucky said, hands trying to tied up his hair. “We were… uh… sorry we got caught up in the moment…”

“Hey,” the man touched Bucky’s shoulder, thankfully the flesh one. “It’s no problem but you need to… you know…”

“Oh yes… sorry again.” Bucky mumbled.

You simply nodded, cheeks red.

Bucky engulfed in a side hug, worsening the situation.

Once you were both outside, you finally relaxed a little.

You crossed the street in silence but holding hands. A shy nod to the night concierge and then into the elevator. You rested your head against his shoulder as you knew he was looking at you. Bucky let you pass once the door opened and pressed the button.

Entering the apartment, he rested the back against the closed door. You bent down over the backrest of the couch. No one talked but suddenly, you both began to laugh.

Bucky sat on the floor, sliding his back on the door. You knelt behind the couch, forehead resting on it. You looked at him and he looked at you.

After a couple of minutes, gaining your breath again from the laugh, he stood and you mimicked him. He gave you his hand and you shook it snorting.

“Well that was fun.” You said.

“Yeah… it was.”

His fingers lingered a seconds more around yours. Just as his lips did with yours. You both entered in your own room, then getting out right after with your pj on.

Smiling, you both entered in the bathroom.

Bucky undressed himself quickly and jumped in the shower. His body naturally reacted to the kiss and he hoped you wouldn’t find it weird.

The icy cold water streamed on his body, calming his nerves. He involuntarily passed his hand on the nape of his neck, where you did grab a lock of his hair.

In the other bathroom, you sat in the closed toilet. Knees up and head against them. A tear escaped your eyes. All of this, was fake. He wasn’t your husband, you thought looking at the ring you never took off. You still felt the pressure of his hand on your leg. The hunger of his lips. His soft hair in your fingers.

You stood and undressed. An icy cold shower would have resolved everything, at least you hoped.

Getting out of the bathroom, in the same moment as you practiced it all, was a little weird.

“Good night, Bucky.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You spent the night staring at the ceiling

Doors closed, the world kept shouting outside.

Bucky laid on his bed with his hands crossed on his chest. The memory of your taste still on his lips. Your warm body missing against his.

On the other side, you laid stomach down. Your face crushed into the pillow and not on his chest. Kissing Bucky made your legs buckle and when you touched his pecs, you felt his heartbeat. You did feel other part of his body and hoped he didn’t feel your nipples getting hard, but you knew he definitely did feel those.

You tried to not being conditioned by the kiss the next morning when you woke up.

You barely slept, Bucky didn’t even try. You heard the coffee machine in the kitchen and looked at the time. The clock on your wall ticked six in the morning. You huffed and sat on the bed, taking a deep breath you stood and opened the door. You walked slowly toward the living room and then the kitchen.

“Oh sorry,” Bucky said, mug in his hands. “Didn’t wanna bother you. Want some?” He asked pointing at the coffee.

“Yeah, thank you.”

You sat on a stool, not used to see him making the breakfast.

“Black with-”

“Black with three sugar,” Bucky exclaimed. “Like Walker.”

“How?”

“Told you I’m a good observer.”

You drank in silence your coffee but suddenly you decided to break it.

“Bucky we need to talk.”

“Listen Y/N,” he began. “I made it just for the mission… but I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable…”

“Bucky,” you sat better. “I’m not uncomfortable but… you avoided me at first and now you kissed me… I know it was for the mission but… we could have… I don’t know… had a fight…”

“I know. It won’t happen again.”

You were both so good at your job that you found a routine to use between the two of you.

The mission went pretty well, days passed and you guys integrated well enough with the people in the district.

The bakery knew how Jane loved a cinnamon roll while writing her novel. You tried to write something on your computer, to make the world knew you were in fact a real author. Valentina prepared some old articles and rearranged, letting you being able to consulted them in public. At the outside’s eyes, you were digging and looking for information for your novel.

The barista knew Andrew came in the cafe asking for a coffee in the afternoon. He went every afternoon, at the stroke of five o clock. He got out of the office and on his way home, he picked up a cup of coffee and something for his wife.

“Lucky woman, Jane,” the barista said.

“I’m the lucky one.” Bucky always replied.

The kiss came up in your mind every night, but the still two weeks remaining didn’t allow you to distract.

You and Bucky made a very detailed report to Valentina every two or three days.

Two weeks left now, the party was the last big piece of the puzzle.

In the previous days, after the kiss, you used the excuse to hang out just to enter more in the club. You noticed the same guy with the same bag and people coming back and forth. Those people, seems every time a little bit bigger. You saw them leaner and with more muscles. A shiver run down your spine. HYDRA really did use those club to spread the pills with the serum.

Bucky used to run every morning, particularly when the garbage man took his sweet time every morning with their trash. Feigning a cramp, he stretched his legs on a bench right outside the club. Bucky wore a pair of glasses with a camera in the rod. Once he came back, he gave the glasses to you and you downloaded every time the images.

As you sat with the computer in front of you, Bucky drank from a bottle of water. He always did after his run and you began to think it was a mere way of teasing.

You felt in a trap but you didn’t let him win all the time.

As you preferred running in the evening in the park, you came back sweaty and hard breathing, you stretched in the living room. Bucky was always on the couch reading some notes and looking at the pics he took during the day. You always stretched your arms in the air, letting your t-shirt rise a little. Bucky always changed the way he was sitting and licked his lips every time you turned.

It was the night of the party that changed everything.

Valentina didn’t arrange the invitation by a mere case of fortune. She knew that the climbs owner every year invited the people on the district to his annual party.

“It’s easy and effective. They saw him as a philanthropist and of course having the club in an exclusive position made him seems legitimate.” Valentina explained on the phone speaker some days before the event.

“Did you guys let him see you?”

“Barely,” Bucky replied.

“He’s never in the club. We don’t know him.”

“Did you saw him?”

“Once,” you said.

“That’s enough,” Valentina replied. “Y/N?” She asked.

“Yes?”

“I think you should flirt with him a little bit,” Valentina suggested.

“Did you remember she’s married to me?” Bucky asked, raising his voice.

“Did you remember it’s an undercover mission, Barnes?” Valentina asked Bucky. “And a lot of wife married with other man every day…” she left the phrase hanging in the air.

Yeah but no husband looks like Bucky, you thought.

“How should I do it?” You asked.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. You put your hand on his. “Should I let him buy me a drink?”

“Use your weapon darling.”

“Alright,” you declared. “I’ll see once I’ll be there.”

Bucky stopped the call. His voice dropping down in a second.

“Let’s get ready.” He said, standing and running to the bedroom.

“Buck-”

He already closed the door.

You got back to your room and your phone rang, your personal one. Looking at the screen you saw your father’s number blinking.

“Hey,” you tried to feign happiness.

“You’re a terrible liar,” your dad replied back. “What’s going on?” He asked you serious.

You explained him all.

About how Bucky still didn’t know how you got your powers. About how your dad in HYDRA wasn’t an easy thing to say to Bucky. How Valentina suggested you to flirt with the club’s owner and Bucky had that weird reaction.

Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky.

He was in your head.

In your heart.

On your lips.

“Woah,” you dad exclaimed. “Too much information honey.” He replied as you were talking about the kiss you and Bucky shared.

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“Honey,” his tone sweet like sugar. “If you think Bucky’s the one… you should be talking to him.”

“I don’t know how Bucky would react knowing that-”

“React to what?” Bucky exclaimed.

You forgot to lock the door and he had super hearing.

Terrible combo.

“I gotta go. Talk to you later,” you stopped the call. “Bucky is not what you think…”

“Explained it to me then.” He almost ordered.

“I-I can’t…”

“I knew it. Your hiding something,” he looked at you with hate. “Let’s finished this mission and then you’re gonna leave the Avengers once and for all.”

“Bucky no-”

But he was already out of your room.

You knelt on the floor crying.

After an hour, where you didn’t even hear him at all, he opened the door to your room. You sat on the bed, tying the lace on your shoes.

“Are you ready?” He asked you. The sweet tone he had, completely gone.

“Ready.”

It wasn’t simple feigning love when the other person almost didn’t look at you. Bucky was a great spy but a terrible liar and he couldn’t handle not being affectionate to you. He still had his hand on your waist. His lips lingered on the delicate skin on your shoulder. He kissed the top of your head standing in the queue in front of the club.

For the occasion, the club was completely transformed. Red drapes and black rug on the floor.

“HYDRA’s colours,” he whispered in your ear.

You nodded.

Once it was your turn, the bodyguard recognised you and let you in.

If the outside of the club was the same, the inside was totally reorganised. The red drapes on the outside seemed lighter on the inside. The table were all covered in black tablecloths and red roses stood in the middle in tall and glassy vases.

You dress had a long and deep slit, sitting down your tight was visible.

Bucky did take a look at your leg.

“Ladies and gentleman, welcome. Every night, people walk through these doors looking for something. It may be freedom or purpose or even a chance to leave the world outside behind,” the man began speaking.

The man was the owner.

The real mind behind everything.

The man creating a new squad of super soldier using people’s weakness.

“I believe we’re all capable of becoming more than we think, if we’re willing to let go of our limits and embrace change. So tonight, forget who you were when you arrived. Dance, celebrate, and enjoy every moment. By the time you leave, you might discover you’re stronger than you ever imagined. To new beginnings.”

Everyone around you cheered and applauded.

“Welcome to the Cepire.”

Cepire.

Your mind worked relentlessly.

“Bucky,” you shook his arm. He barely turned his head. “Bucky,” you called him again whispering.

“What?” He replied. His tone showing no affection.

“Bucky… Cepire is the anagram of Pierce,” he finally looked at you in the eyes.

“What?”

You moved closer, linking your arm around his neck. Your mouth and warm breath against his ear. “I think this is Pierce’s son.”

“How do you know Pierce?” He asked you angry. “Y/N? How did you?” Anger flashing across his face.

“Please,” you kissed him. A quick peck on his lips. He remained frozen. “Trust me and proceed with the mission. Let’s have a fight and I’m gonna try to find something.”

He stood. “Oh yeah it’s convenient for you. Why don’t said anything before?”

You mentally thanked him.

“Am I not free enough to make decisions?” You stood abruptly too. “You know what? I’m going now.”

People around you looked at you.

“Sorry.” You told them.

Bucky made his way toward the bar. You moved to the other side, where a long table full of flutes of champagne stood there.

“What a stunning woman like you is doing all alone here?”

The owner moved toward you. His voice deep and weirdly soft.

“Regretting my marriage… oh stupid champagne,” you said, glancing at him. “It made my tongue run a little too fast.”

“Am I sensing some trouble in paradise?”

Well, let’s see.

He made his personal mission hating on you since day one. You couldn’t be honest with him even if you would literally put your life into his hands. He then made a teeny tiny step ahead with you. And lastly he kissed you like his life depended on that to “not blow up the cover”.

You could have said that, but instead you skated over. “Nothing like that,” you rested your hand on his forearm. “But sometimes… marriage is tough.”

You said, emptying the glass of champagne.

He snapped his fingers, and second later a waiter appeared with another flute of champagne.

You took it from his hand, letting your fingers grazed his. You didn’t see Bucky, but it was like feeling his presence on you.

The man, you were now sure was Pierce’s son, kept talking and leaning towards you. He moved closer, whispering something at your ear. “You shouldn’t let a man conditioning your life…” he said, looking at you with a spark in his eyes.

“Maybe you’re right-”

Your head felt heavy. Closing your eyes, you leaned on the counter.

He snacked his arm around you, cradling your head on his shoulder. “There you are… Y/N.”

But you were already passed out on his shoulder.

Bucky went out, not seeing the scene. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Valentina.

She answered immediately. “Any news?” She asked worried.

“Y/N thinks the owner may be Pierce’s son.” He didn’t asked. The told her.

Valentina didn’t reply immediately.

“Is he?” He asked now as confirmation.

“We had some doubts about that but… if she thinks that it may be true.”

“You put us on a mission with Pierce’s son? Are you of your mind? You should have told us at least.” He whispered shouted.

“Barnes,” she tried to talk. “We couldn’t say it for sure. We need confirmation first.”

“Well now you have it and…” Bucky stooped.

“And what? Barnes?”

“She’s flirting with him… like you suggested it… gotta go. Talk to you later.”

He didn’t wait for her reply.

Entering again the club, Bucky didn’t see you. Panic began to rise inside his body and a wave of fear invaded his mind. “Y/N where are you?” He asked himself.

In the back of the club, you woke up on a chair. No chain or rope. Just sat there.

A man, overly tall and muscular, stood in front of the door.

There were no windows and just a bulb of light hanging on the ceiling.

The door opened.

The owner, better saying Pierce’s son, entered the room and ordered the man to leave you alone.

You gulped.

“Well, well, well,” he began. “Y/N Y/L/N. How’s daddy?”

“Don’t know,” you replied, now weirdly calm. “How’s your daddy?”

He touched his chest, right above his heart, wounded. “Valentina didn’t teach you manners I see…”

Your hands began to shake. Tiny flakes of white sparks rose on your palms, but they didn’t strike up.

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” he said, stretching his shirt sleeves. “This room have an electric magnetic field around it. Your powers are… useless inside here.”

“They will come to find me.”

“Oh we counted on it. Especially your husband… Andrew right?” His smile darkened. “Never thought of the Winter Soldier as… Andrew.”

Every time he pronounced Bucky’s fake name, a shiver run down your spine.

“You got me for a second,” he seemed like he was complementing you. “But I’ve never forget my dad’s best experiment… and you,” he circled the chair. “You have your dad’s eyes. Same expression of someone wanting to do the good thing. He was weak.”

“My father was a victim but he was never weak.”

“He was.” And then he smacked your head making you falling from the chair.

Pain rose inside your head, you felt the warm blood streaming on your forehead but also noises from outside.

You smiled weakly. “He’s coming for you.”

“Again, I hope that.”

He moved like a shadow and got out the room, leaving you alone on the floor. You tried to stand slowly. Your head banging and your arm hurting as you felt on that. You heard punches, shooting and yelling.

When the door opened, you fear for your life but a shiny hand helped you to stand properly.

Bucky.

“Y/N,” he was panicking. “My god what did he do?”

“Hit my head… Bucky everything is spinning…”

“Rest on me, sweetie.”

Holding you up, he got the both of you out. You saw the man that was in the room with you, laying on the floor. A bullet in his forehead.

“Not so fast, soldat.” Pierce’s son told in the dark corridor.

Not seeing him, you began to run. Bucky held your body with his metal arm, while the other held a gun. You arrived on the dance floor, empty. No one was there anymore.

As there was no other people in there, or that’s what you both thought, he pushed you under a table moving his attention to Pierce’s son.

He was fast, so damn fast.

Bucky blinked when he shoved him on the ground. No one could tackled down Bucky, but he did it.

You felt the power rising in you, and you tried to stand. In that moment a couple of men, incredibly strong and big, arrived. You stretched your arms ahead of you, pointing at them. White streaks came out of your palms. You felt the power rising in your body and seeing Bucky on the ground, fighting for his life, gave you a purpose.

The two men were strong but you power was stronger. In a second they were on the ground, frozen to death.

Pierce’s son looked at you for a second, while Bucky was still on the ground. “Oh,” he muttered. “We bet on the wrong horse.”

He moved toward you, gun in his belt. As he took it, Bucky swung his legs making his losing the balance.

He regained it quickly and pointed the gun at Bucky’s chest. “I wouldn’t,” he smiled. “Don’t want your boyfriend to suffer, right?”

In a rush of adrenaline, you made the chandelier shaking. Seeing a white aura around you, Pierce’s son looked up at the chandelier. In that moment, you stroke at him. Falling down, he pressed the trigger of the gun and a bullet landed in Bucky’s side.

“BUCKY!” You yelled full of anger.

Pierce’s son laid down on the ground dead. You slid toward Bucky, crawling on the floor.

You rest your palms on his side and cried.

“Please... Bucky stay with me. Please don’t leave me.”

You closed your eyes for a second, concentrating. Your hands began to glow, feeling the powers flooding from your body to his.

It happened all fast around you, but you were concerned only about Bucky and saving his life.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you flinched lifting your right hand in the air while the left one remained on Bucky.

“Whoa,” John lifted his arms. “It’s me. What happened?”

The rest of the team and Valentina entered.

“I don’t know… I really don’t… I killed him,” you said, pointing your head toward Pierce’s body. “But he pulled the trigger… an-and it reached Bucky’s side…”

Under your palms, Bucky began breathing normally again.

You laid on the ground tired. Your healing power didn’t affect you but with the blood still coming out of your head, it was another situation.

The paramedics took over. “Ma’am,” one of them said to you. “You did it amazing but let us work now.”

His tone was sweet so he let him.

On the ambulance, after sticked the pads on Bucky from the machine, you took his hand. He removed the oxygen mask, letting it slide on his face.

“No Bucky,” you grabbed the mask. “You need this.”

“Oh god,” he panted. “Am I dead?”

You panicked. “God, no. Bucky you’ll live… you’re gonna be okay.”

“If you say so angel. You’re so beautiful… but not as beautiful as Y/N,”

A breath got stuck in your throat.

“She’s beautiful and I was mean to her… she’s always so nice and kind and gentle… I don’t deserve her… when I kissed her my heart was beating like crazy...”

John behind you in the ambulance, while the other remained in the club, snorted. “Knew it…” he whispered.

“Shut up.”

“Angel?”

“Yes, Bucky?” You said sweetly.

“Would you said it to her?”

“Saying what?”

“That I love her… I’m so sorry for treating her like that… I’d love her even if she was HYDRA…”

“What?” John whispered.

“Later.”

“She’s the only good thing in my life and I wrecked it…”

He began crying and his heartbeat rose. The paramedic in the back of the ambulance yelled. “FASTER! WE’RE LOSING HIM! Miss please,” and pushed you on the side.

“I’m telling her, Bucky.” You cried.

John hugged you tight. “It’s gonna be okay…”

But he couldn’t know that for sure.

In the hospital, Bucky was immediately taken into surgery.

Valentina and the other Avengers came immediately. Bob was there too.

“What happened?” Yelena asked.

You explained them all.

How you were flirting with the man. How you got your head heavy in a second and how you woke up minutes later in a dark room. You told them he was Pierce’s son, and Yelena fought against her tears.

John kept an arm on you. “Why did Bucky told about…” he didn’t knew how he could say it without having implications.

“That he would love me even if I was from HYDRA?” You looked Valentina. “You knew right?”

She nodded.

Everyone kept looking at you.

“I was born from a man tortured by HYDRA. He was an experiment but…” a tears escaped your eye. “The serum failed on him and apparently settled in me.”

“So you are…” Bob began asking.

“No, I’m not a super soldier… but I have those powers and… I’m using them for something good…”

Yelena was now crying. Ava followed her behind. John’s arm still on you and now Bob engulfed all in a hug.

“Come on Valentina,” he told her. “Join us…”

She did.

Yelena personally guided to the medic bay. “You should patch it up,” she said, pointing at the forehead. “It’s bleeding again.”

You looked down.

“Hey,” she lifted your chin. “No one here is angry with you. You’re no HYDRA. You’re an Avenger.”

You hugged her tight. “Can you bring me to Bucky?”

She nodded.

On the other side of the med bay, in a single room, Bucky laid down.

His body totally recovered but he needed rest.

“We gave him something to sleep. He’s gonna need at least a couple of days to rest completely, but you did a great job healing him.”

“Why did he…”

You didn’t know how to say it.

“He had a little heart attack but it’s now all under control. His heart was beating like crazy. You can stay here if you want.”

You stayed there for two days.

You held his hand and caressed his face. Even during sleep, he was the most handsome man ever. His feature relaxed and his mouth slightly raised in the corners.

He woke up after a couple of days. You were still there.

“Angel?” He realised he was talking to you in the ambulance. “God I fumbled.”

“You didn’t,” you caressed his cheek. “I was so worried.”

“If you’re HYDRA… please tell me before I’m gonna do something irresponsible…”

You preceded him and kissed him.

He responded immediately to the kiss. His hands shaking but firmly rested on your head, pulling you into him. He panted when you put your body slightly on him.

“Ouch,” he grunted. “Careful sweetheart.”

“Oh god sorry.”

You sat on the chair near his bed, keeping his hand between yours and explained all to him.

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of time but his eyes remained steady on you. “I was worried you were here for them… and I treated you as a threat but,” he snorted. “You’re by far the most kind and amazing woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah I know,” you slid a lock of hair for his face. “The angel told me…” you teased him.

“Please,” he closed his eyes smiling. “Don’t reminded me.”

“I’ll make it as my personal mission, Barnes.”

You both stared at each other with nothing but love in your eyes.

“So he’s dead?” He asked you.

“Dead.” You confirmed.

The following days were like a dream. Bucky found himself as a lover boy and you loved it. He waited for you in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

“You should rest, Bucky.”

“Can’t,” he kissed your cheek. “Need to make amends for my behaviour.”

Yelena and Ava entered the kitchen and smiled but right after they playfully teased him.

“So he’s dead crumbled first right?”

“Shut up Belova.” He smiled, arm linked to your waist.

“God your such a sap…”

John delighted by the scene, hugged you both. “Found your match I see. Don’t ruin it man.”

“Wouldn’t dream on it…”

Bob looked at you like a little kid watching his parents in love.

Valentina entered unannounced. “Hey look at this,” she sid not surprised.

Bucky had his all body crushed against yours. He leaned behind you, hugging your waist while you spread some jam on a bagel.

“Guys can I talk to you?” She said, serious. “In private?”

You followed her into another room.

“Pierce’s son is definitely dead,” she told.

You and Bucky both huffed relieved.

“You were right about everything Y/N and… I’d like to make you an apology. We should have informed you.”

“I get it why you didn’t, Valentina.”

“Anyway I’m here for those,” she reached in her pocket. “This is for you.”

Bucky picked the envelope. “A reservation for an hotel?”

“It’s my apology gift for you,” she smiled. “Picked a five star hotel here in New York and spent some days resting,” she finished. “But not too much. The world needs you.”

The same night, Bucky chose the most luxurious hotel in town. Spa in the room, meals in bed and a terrace. You left the tower the same exact night, as you were too excited to spent time alone. As you arrived in the massive suite, Bucky immediately orderer room service.

“What you want, doll?” He asked you, cornering you. “I’ll buy you everything you like.”

“Well,” you circled his neck. “Since you were very rude,” you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Uh uh,” he moaned.

“Surprise me… let’s see if you’re worthy…”

You removed your hands from his neck and slid toward the bedroom.

As Bucky ordered on the phone, you took all the clothes off. “… yeah thank you. Half and hour? Perfect. Bye.” He hung up. “Doll,” he told you. “It’s gonna be around-”

You hid yourself behind the bedroom’s door, letting only your leg out.

“Doll,” he panted.

“Want to take a shower before eating?” You asked, battling your lashes.

Bucky did definitely want that.

He run to you and you squeaked happily. He was in the bathroom in a second. He looked at you fully.

Naked and glowing.

He saw the ring sitting on your finger. “You still have it.”

“Kinda like it.” You said, entering the shower.

He removed all of his clothes and jumped in the shower with you.

You couldn’t avoid looking at his all body.

His massive frame occupied most of the space. His hard pecks stood in front of you. His hands immediately reached and grabbed your waist. He pushed you against the wall. His cock already hard, pointing up against his stomach. “Yeah… sorry…” he said blushing.

You grabbed the shaft and began stroking it. With your free hand, you pulled him down on your lips. He let you do all.

“Doll,” he panted against your lips.

“You like it?” You asked teasing him.

Your hand become icy cold, a delicious contrast with the hot water running above you.

“Fucking love it…” he grunted, resting his metal hand on the wall.

As his cock twitched in your hand, you removed it from around his cock just as he was about to come.

“What,” he whined at the loss. “Doll,”

You turned and picked up the shampoo. Squeezing it you lather on your hands and then on your scalp. Once your head was all bubbly, you use the remained shampoo and washed his hair.

He bent down his head and let you spread the foam on his head. Your nails scratched his scalp with the perfect amount of force.

Conditioner and body wash, were the following steps.

You rinsed your body then his and stopped the water. You stepped out and took a nice and fluffy towel. Bucky did the same. He was still half hard and shocked.

Not even ten minutes later, someone knocked on the door. “Room service.”

Bucky opened, worried his visible excitement was still showing, and gave the waiter a big and overly generous tip.

He brought the cart inside the room, in the living room, where you were waiting for him.

Again, naked.

“You’re killing me…”

“I hope so.”

He positioned the cart in front of the table and pulled off the towel too. You took your time looking at him. He sat and lifted one of the cloches.

The most perfect steak and potatoes appeared. Juicy and tender. A perfect combination of flavour and texture. You drank a little bit of wine, adding warm to your body. Just the sight of a naked super soldier in front of you was enough. When he lifted the last cloche, after finishing your steak and potatoes, you saw the dessert he ordered.

A cup of fresh and red strawberries and whipped cream.

“Why don’t you come here, doll.” He tapped his tight.

You moved on autopilot.

Standing, he glanced again at you. You circled the table and he pulled his chair back. You sat on his tight, legs closed. Your knees grazed his cock.

He grabbed a strawberry and bit into it before pushing it into your lips. You bit where he did and some juice escaped your mouth. He licked it clean and moved down on your chest, where some drops felt too. He closed his lips around your nipple and you moaned at the contact.

“Bucky,”

“Yeah,” he sucked it harder. “Say my name.”

You dipped your finger in the whipped cream and spread it on his lips, then licked it clean all.

His cock twitched and you felt it under your legs. You decided to not let this man suffer. You took some whipped cream and spread it on his tip. You knelt on the ground, between his legs and licked the cream of his body.

“Jesus,” he moaned, as his hand flew into your hair.

You hollowed your cheeks and took him fully. You fought a little gag reflex and sucked him. Hard and deep.

He put his other hand on your head. He guided you but let you have your pace. You felt it twitching into your mouth and sucked him harder. He came with a grunt, holding for some seconds your head there. You looked at him, swallowing all.

He stared at you hungrily and moved the plates on the table. Making the right amount of space, he picked you up and sat you on the table. He spread your legs and dove in your core. You rested your weight on your elbow while your other hand grabbed his hair.

“God, Bucky… please don’t stop.”

He rested his hands on your legs and opened them more. His tongue lapped your clit and hole. Nothing left behind.

As he sensed your core clenching, he inserted two fingers in you. Moving them in and out, he kept sucking on your clit.

“Wanna come Bucky… let me come…”

“Do it,” he sweetly ordered.

You cried out as you came. Wave of pleasure coming out of your body like and explosion and tiny sparks of white light came out from your palms. You sat there panted. Your chest moving up and down.

“God you’re addicting…” He stood up and kissed you.

Both of his hands on your face as he devoured your lips. He picked you up and you squeaked grabbing his neck. He let you down on the bed like you were the most fragile thing ever. You spread your legs more and he laid in between. His cock pressing on your still throbbing core. He kissed you like that night in the club. His hands grabbing your tights before rolling his hips.

“Bucky do something…”

He took his cock in his hand and glided your core with his tip. He passed it between your folds, collecting all the wetness.

“Please,”

He inserted his tip, just the tip, and you moaned at the feeling. He pushed himself more into your pussy. You felt the stretch and every inch of him. He sat there on his knees, fully inside. He let you adjust to his size and then he began to move. He pulled out and pushed back. Your hands grabbed the sheet. He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers, holding your arm up. He dipped down to kiss your opened mouth. He dove down more on your collarbone and neck, sucking a point he quickly found out was your weakness.

As you clench more around him, he began to move faster. “I’m coming Bucky…”

“Me too,” he kissed you more. “Come with me.”

Your second orgasm rose inside you. He sealed your mouth with his as he played with your clit with his finger. He walked through your pleasure.

As you came down, he crushed your body with his like a weighted blanket. His body, warm and sweaty, comforting you.

You both remained there for some minutes without talking. He broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he told you whispering.

“I thought you hated me…” you whispered back. “I really thought you were… I don’t even know what…”

“I’ve never really hated you,” he rose his head, looking straight into your eyes. “I was just scared and if I have to be honest a little scared even if your kindness…”

“What do you mean?”

“You were always so kind and gentle and… I hate to say it but… HYDRA made people this gentle to trick others…”

“Bucky I’d never-”

“I know,” he kissed you sweetly. “Now I know.”

Bucky never stopped asking you sorry. He was truly disgusted by his behaviour but you perfectly understand why he did it.

One year later, you and Bucky were now officially a couple.

The team never stopped teasing Bucky for his behaviour and once you got back from the “apology gift” Valentina gave you, they began trolling the former Winter Soldier.

“So you did crumble, Barnes.” John asked.

It was no point in lying, so he did tell the truth. “Yeah… and I was a moron and an asshole…”

“Indeed she could have someone better,” Yelena teased him and Ava choked on her coffee seeing Bucky’s face.

“What?”

“Oh don’t listen them… they’re jealous…” you kissed him deeply. “There’s no one better.”

“Awwwww…” a choir rose inside the kitchen.

“I hate you all,” Bucky said. “Not you of course.” He kissed you once more.

He took your hand in his, where a ring sat.

It wasn’t Jane’s ring, this was Y/N’s ring.

He kissed the stone then the back of your hand.

“I can’t wait to marry you, Jane.” He said whispering in your ear.

“I can’t wait to marry you too, Andrew.” You replied.

What began as a mission, let the hidden feeling came out and that’s how you liked it.

The door creaked open and Bucky stepped into the apartment he shared with you. He’d been gone three days on mission.

Bone-tired, ready for nothing more than a shower maybe an hot meal and your arms around his body.

But the sight that greeted him made his stomach plummet.

You were at the counter, frosting cupcakes with your usual precision. Christmas was about to come so you had to prepare the new flavours for your cupcakes.

Flour dusted your apron and a smudge of chocolate on your cheek. What stopped him cold was the darkening bruise marring your forehead, just above your brow.

“Sweetheart?” His voice came out sharp, almost strangled.

You turned, eyes lighting up at the sight of him. “Oh my god, you’re back.I miss-”

Words dying in your throat seeing his face.

Before you could smile he was already across the room. His massive frame on you in an instant.

Arms circling your shoulders.

Lips trembling.

Eyes narrowing.

His hands hovered by your face, trembling. “What happened? Who did this to you?”

You blinked. “Bucky-”

“Tell me.” His tone was low, urgent. His chest rose and fell rapidly, like he couldn’t get enough air. “Did a customer do this? Did someone put their hands on you at the bakery? God, doll... you should’ve called me... I would’ve-”

Standing in front of him, arms caging you delicately, you began to see how he was ready to go full Winter Soldier mode. You press your palms on his hard chest. “Bucky, no, it’s not-”

“Don’t protect them,” he interrupted, spiraling faster.

His metal fist clenched so hard you swore you could hear the servos creak. His flesh hand kept hovering, terrified to hurt you further but unable to stop reaching. His eyes never stooped looking at the purple bruise around your eye.

“Just say the name and I’ll make sure they never-”

“BUCKY!”

Your voice cracked, louder than you intended. It made him freeze, eyes snapping to yours in shock.

The panic on his face softened into something almost boyish, like he’d been caught doing something wrong. His lips parted, but no words came.

You sighed, rubbing your flour covered hands down your apron. “Bucky, stop... please. Just… stop for a second and listen to me.”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed, stepping back a half pace like he was giving you space. His shoulders were still tight, his chest still heaving, but he nodded once.

You exhaled, gentler now. “No one hit me. No one yelled at me. No one touched me. This,” you pointed at your forehead, “was all me being clumsy. I was reaching for a box of cake pans on the top shelf and it fell. Right on my face.”

Silence.

Bucky stared at you like he couldn’t process it, then slowly raked his hand down his face. “You’re telling me…” His voice was a low rasp. “That I just had a goddamn heart attack over… cookware?”

A guilty smile tugged at your lips. “Technically bake ware.”

For a long beat, he just stared. Then a short, disbelieving laugh slipped out of him. He shook his head, pressing his hands to his hips. “Jesus Christ, doll... I was two seconds away from hunting down every customer you’ve ever served.”

You stepped more closer, softening. “And that’s why I had to yell. You were scaring me a little.”

That made him still, his chest tightening. He looked down at you, eyes flickering with guilt. “I scared you?”

“Not because of you,” you reassured quickly, brushing flour-dusted fingers over his jaw. “Because I could see you slipping. Like you were about to lose yourself. And I didn’t want that… for you or me.”

His shoulders dropped at that, all the fight draining out of him.

He carefully framed your face in his hands, flesh and metal both gentle as silk. “I’m sorry, doll. I just… I can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you. You’re my safe place. If anything took that away…” His voice cracked.

You leaned into his palms, smiling softly. “Then you’d still have me. Bruises and all. I promise I’ll survive a runaway box.”

Bucky huffed out a breath, shaking his head, then pressed a feather-light kiss to your bruise. “That box is lucky it’s not alive. Otherwise, I’d have words.”

You laughed, pulling him down into a flour-dusted hug. “Maybe next time I’ll just call my tall and strong boyfriend to grab it for me.”

Your fingers twist in the hem of your sleeve as you sit on the couch, angled just slightly toward him. Bucky’s sprawled beside you, long legs stretched out, one arm hooked over the back of the couch like he owns the space without even trying. There’s a quiet movie playing on the TV, something neither of you are really paying attention to. His attention keeps drifting back to you anyway—little glances, soft and curious.

You notice every single one of them.

You always do.

Your knee bumps his accidentally and your heart jumps like you’ve done something wrong. He doesn’t pull away, though. If anything, his leg shifts just a little closer, pressing more firmly against yours.

God.

You swallow.

“Buck?” you try, and immediately want to hide.

His head turns toward you instantly. “Yeah, doll?” His voice is soft, warm in that way that always makes your chest feel too tight.

You open your mouth.

Nothing comes out.

Because suddenly the words feel embarrassing. Too needy. Too much. What if he doesn’t want to? What if he’s comfortable like this and you mess it up? What if—

You shake your head quickly. “Nothing. Sorry.”

You turn your attention back to the TV like you didn’t just implode right next to him.

There’s a beat of silence.

Then, quieter, closer—“Hey.”

His hand finds your wrist. Not grabbing, not forcing. Just there. Thumb brushing gently over your pulse like he’s checking in.

“You sure?” he asks.

You nod too fast. “Mhm.”

Another pause.

His thumb keeps moving.

“Because,” he says slowly, like he’s choosing his words with care, “you’ve been fidgeting for the last ten minutes. And you keep lookin’ at me like you’ve got somethin’ to say.”

Your face burns.

“I—no, I haven’t.”

Bucky huffs out a quiet, amused breath; eyes twinkling in fondness.

“Doll.”

And that’s it. That one word, all warm and coaxing, and you crumble.

“I just—” you start, and your voice immediately gets smaller. “I was just wondering if, um—if you maybe wanted to—like, if you’re not busy or anything—”

His brows pull together, not in frustration, just confusion. “Not busy,” he repeats gently.

“Right, yeah, I know, I just mean—if you didn’t want to, that’s totally fine, I just—”

“Hey.” His hand slides up from your wrist to your arm, grounding. “Slow down. What’re you askin’ me, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart.

You might actually pass away.

You take a breath, staring determinedly at a spot on the couch instead of at him.

“Can we… cuddle?” you mumble, so quiet it barely counts as sound. “Just for a little bit. If that’s okay.”

Silence.

Oh God.

You knew it. You knew you shouldn’t have asked. You start to pull back, already preparing to laugh it off, to say you didn’t mean it, to pretend—

“Oh.”

It’s soft. Almost breathless.

You risk a glance up.

Bucky looks like you just handed him something precious.

His expression has completely melted. There’s no other word for it. The sharp lines of his face have gone soft, eyes wide and warm and a little bit awed, like he can’t believe you just asked him that.

“Yeah,” he says immediately. Then, a little stronger, like he needs to make sure you hear him properly, “Yeah, of course we can.”

Your shoulders loosen just a fraction. “Really?”

“Really?” he echoes, almost incredulous. “Doll, you never gotta ask like it’s a big favor.”

“I just didn’t wanna bother you,” you admit, voice small again.

That does something to him.

You see it, the way his jaw tightens just slightly.

“You could never bother me,” he says, quiet but firm.

Before you can overthink it again, he’s already moving.

His arm drops from the back of the couch, sliding around your shoulders, guiding you gently into him. Like he’s giving you every chance to change your mind, even though you never would.

You go easily, curling into his side.

And the second you settle against him, it’s like something in him gives.

He exhales, long and slow, like he’s been holding that breath all day. His arm tightens around you, pulling you closer until you’re practically draped over him. His hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, pressing you into his chest.

“There we go,” he murmurs, more to himself than anything.

You can hear his heartbeat. Feel it under your cheek—steady, strong.

Safe.

Your hand curls against his shirt, bunching the fabric lightly as you relax into him. The earlier nerves start to fade, replaced by something warm and soft that spreads through your chest.

“You okay?” he asks after a moment, voice low.

“Mhm,” you hum. “Sorry I made it weird.”

He lets out a quiet laugh, the sound vibrating through you.

“You didn’t make it weird,” he says. “You made my day.”

You tilt your head just enough to look up at him. “I did?”

“Yeah.” His thumb starts tracing slow, absent circles against your arm. “You askin’ for this? Means you want me close.” A small pause. “I like that.”

Your face heats again, but it’s softer this time. Less panic, more… something shy and happy.

“I always want you close,” you admit.

That completely ruins him.

You feel it in the way his hold on you tightens, not enough to hurt, just enough to keep you there. Like he’s not letting go anytime soon.

“Then c’mere whenever you want,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Don’t make yourself nervous over it, alright?”

You nod against his chest.

“Okay.”

His fingers drift through your hair, slow and careful, and the movie continues playing in the background, forgotten.

You stay tucked against him, warm and quiet, listening to his heartbeat.

And the privilege of waking up the sweetest little person he'd ever known.

His daughter.

Sweet little Rebecca—or becca as bucky liked to call her—still wonderfully round in all the places toddlers were meant to be. Chunky wrists with little bracelet-like dimples. Soft thighs that made every pair of leggings look stuffed. Permanently rosy cheeks that begged to be kissed.

And every single morning, Bucky insisted on waking her himself. It had quietly become his favorite part of the day.

You would already be downstairs most mornings, making breakfast when you hear Bucky's footsteps heading toward the nursery instead of the kitchen.

Without fail.

Every day.

"You know," you’d called one morning while whisking pancake batter, "you could let her wake up on her own."

"I could."

"But you won't?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

His answer came immediately. "Cause I like seeing the moment she remembers she's my kid."

It made no sense, but to him, it meant everything.

He padded silently down the hallway, careful to avoid the one floorboard that always creaked, and slowly pushed open the nursery door.

The room was washed in soft golden light. Nursery curtains glowing with morning sunlight. The room smelled faintly of baby lotion and lavender and detergent.

And fast asleep in the middle of her little crib, somehow having rotated herself almost completely sideways during the night, one tiny foot was sticking out from under the blanket, was her.

Ten months old Rebecca barnes whose palm was the same size of bucky's heart because ever since the day she had arrived, the little fingers had iron grip on his heart.

Her favorite stuffed bunny was upside down beside her. Her little mouth hung open ever so slightly. Tiny body sprawled dramatically across the bed. Blanket kicked halfway off. One sock missing.

And her hair...Her hair deserved its own zip code. It stuck up in every possible direction. A few curls falling into her eyes resting beside the lashes of her close eyelids.

Bucky leaned against the doorway and just...Looked.

His heart never seemed prepared for this sight. Every morning he thought ‘How did we make something this precious?’

He padded over quietly. Tiptoeing so the floorboards won’t creak beneath him.

She slept with one little fist tucked under her cheek.

Smushy.

Squishy.

Perfect.

He crouched beside the bed. Metal fingers stayed carefully tucked against his palm while his flesh hand reached out.

His fingertips slid gently through the wild nest of curls. "Look at that bed hair..." his voice was barely louder than a whisper. "My goodness."

Another tiny stroke over her head. "What happened to you?" He paused as the little girl frowned in her sleep. "I think birds moved in."

She stayed asleep through bucky’s rambling. Probably already accustomed to having a dad who loved talking to her.

He smiled, a metal finger skimming over her perfectly round, squishy cheek. "You got squirrels living up here, sweetheart?"

Her nose scrunched. Just a little, barest of the movement.

Bucky grinned immediately. "There she is." His fingers rubbed slow circles over her scalp as he continued talking.

"So pretty..."

Another stroke.

"My sleepy little bear."

Another caress.

"My chunky monkey."

He poked one of her cheeks. "Oh no! What happened to these?" He gently squished both cheeks together. "They got all smushy."

He couldn’t resist pressing soft kisses on her cheeks "Mama's gonna need to fluff these back up."

A tiny sleepy grumble sounded from her and bucky’s smile widened "There is my grumpy girl"

One eyelid slowlyy cracked open, just enough to reveal one sleepy blue eye. It stared at him blankly before closing again.

"No, no." He chuckled. "You can't trick Daddy."

HIs lips pressed onto her forehead in another kiss "I saw your eye."

She made the tiniest protesting noise. "Nuh..."

"Oh yes."

"Nuh."

"Oh yes."

He stroked the little curls away from her face as he saw a pout forming on the tiny mouth of his sleepy baby. "Can Daddy see those beautiful eyes?"

Silence.

"I think they're hiding."

"Did they disappear?"

He gasped dramatically. "I'll have to tell Mama." The kid paid no heed to his words, still pretemding to sleep. "My baby's eyes are gone!"

That earned him another sleepy protest. "Dada..."

"There they are!" He beamed as she opened her eyes to frown at him, which looked eerily similar to the disappointed glare you’d give him when he talked about adopting yet another kitten. "I knew they were in there."

She finally blinked both eyes open, slowly. Like opening them required tremendous effort and simply stared. Processing the surrounding in the sleepy haze, until she noticed her favourite person leaning over the crib, smiling at her.

The smallest smile spread across her face despite her offense at being waked from her sleep. "Dada..."

His heart melted into absolute mush. "There she is." He kissed her forehead. “Morning, sunshine."

Tiny arms reached toward him automatically. Like she'd done it every morning of her life. She didn't even think about it anymore. She simply expected Daddy to be there.

Sometimes when she woke up on her own and bucky wasn't around immediately or you—the spare human—found her in the morning before he did, the sleepy little glare your grumpy girl gave you was enough to summon a tiny thunderstorm.

But it wasn't like she didn't love you. She would run to you to show her stick drawings and babble away telling you every silly story she came up with while you brush her hair. She loved you with all her tiny heart, you were her mom after all. But mornings belonged to Daddy. No matter what, he was the person she expected to see when she opened her eyes everyday.

Bucky gathered her carefully into his arms. "Oh..." He groaned dramatically. "What is this?" He bounced her once. "Someone got heavier."

You always teased him that he said this every single day.

He did.

Because every single day she somehow felt bigger than yesterday. "My goodness." He settled onto the rocking chair. "I think somebody ate rocks."

She rested her head against his shoulder. Already melting back into sleep.

"No?" He rubbed her back slowly. "You just got extra cuddly?"

She answered in a tiny nod against his shirt, still fighting sleep. "I thought so."

The rocking chair creaked gently as bucky swayed back and forth, wrapping both arms around her. She fit perfectly against his chest.

Always had.

He rested his cheek against the top of her head sighing contentedly. "I missed my morning cuddle."

She mumbled something unintelligible.

"I know." bucky kissed the top of her head "I missed you too."

By the time you abandoned making breakfast to join them in the nursery because of overwhelming FOMO, she was drifting again.

Bucky knew all the signs. The heavy breathing. The completely limp body. The tiny fingers relaxing around his shirt.

And you had walked in to the sight you have the pleasure to see almost every morning.

Bucky rocking your little girl in the chair while she stayed tucked against his chest like it was the most comfy spot in the whole house.

You simply looked at him for a moment. His chin resting on the messy hair of your half-asleep toddler curled against his chest. He looked happier like this than you had ever seen.

"Bucky" you whispered from the doorway.

He looked over, eyes brightening at the sight of you "Hey."

You smiled knowingly. "She's falling asleep again."

"I know."

"So why are you still rocking her?"

He looked genuinely confused. "Cause she's comfy."

"You know she'll sleep another hour if you keep this up."

"I know."

You folded your arms. "So..."

"So..?"

"...you're still going to keep cuddling her?"

He looked down at the tiny girl. One chunky little arm was wrapped around his neck. The other had somehow found his hair. She was lightly snoring against his chest.

He looked back at you. "I've waited almost a hundred years to have someone who wants morning cuddles." His voice was quiet, gentle. "I'm gonna hold her as long as she'll let me."

Your eyes softened instantly. There wasn't a single teasing remark left. Because you knew. You knew exactly where that sentence came from.

THe stolen decades of his life, the denied comfort of feeling human, every emotion weaponised against him.

But now...

Now his mornings were filled with sleepy giggles, tangled curls, and warm little hugs. And he wasn't taking a second of it for granted.

You crossed the room before leaning down and kissing the top of his head then the toddler’s.

"You know she's going to stop wanting to be carried someday."

"I know."

"And one day she'll wake up before you demanding pancakes."

"I know."

"And eventually she'll probably tell you she's too old for morning cuddles."

He swallowed. "I know."

You smiled softly. "So enjoy every minute."

He looked down at the tiny girl sleeping peacefully against him. "I plan to."

He gently kissed one smushy cheek. Then another. "My sleepy little bug."

A tiny smile appeared on the toddler's face even in her sleep. As if somewhere in her dreams she knew, daddy was holding her.

And as long as he was holding her, mornings were warm, safe, and full of whispered compliments about messy bed hair, squishy cheeks, and the chunkiest little arms in the whole wide world.

Dividers by @diviniyae

Tag list : @redstarleftarm, @sweetserendipity65, @sambuckystony, @nymphhbabiee, @darlingdenise, @venigrantrogers, @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger, @bstan01, @phoenix-in-writing, @singulartoast, @danerb67, @onyx8514, @globetrotter28, @buckysdecaflove, @alyssinwunderland-blog-blog, @herejustforbuckybarnes, @v33mustdie, @star-yawnznn, @buckybsdoll

the lewd sound of skin against skin fills the small bathroom that you’re currently in, fooling around with bucky while your dad is just downstairs.

“that’s it…”

bucky grins as you bite back your moans, being a good girl and not making a sound as you take him. he knows that you can’t, since the possibility of getting caught was right there.

any minute now, steve could accidentally stumble upon him fucking his precious little girl. your dad—and his best friend—would kill him if he knew what bucky was doing with you.

if he knew just how close the two of you were, to the point where you were about to cream on bucky’s cock and it wouldn’t be the first time.

it isn’t the first time that he’s had you like this, fighting everything inside of you to be quiet as to not alert steve. you’ve been in this position before because you both loved it, the thrill of getting caught pulling you close to the edge.

“if i let you cum on my cock, promise me that you won’t make a sound,” bucky breathed in your ear, snapping his hips faster.

the bathroom counter creaked underneath the weight of you both, your grip nearly cracking the material in half thanks to your own super strength you had inherited from steve.

you had inherited a lot of things from him, but his defiance wasn’t one of them.

your eyes glazed over as you looked at bucky. “i promise,” you whimpered quietly, and you meant it. he knew you did because you had always been such a good girl. always obeying him and taking his cock just right.

nobody else could make him feel this way. the pleasure that he got from your sweet cunt squeezing down on him and threatening to milk him dry was enough to drown out any guilt he felt.

any emotions that made him want to stop were always overshadowed the minute you started to cum, your cunt clinging to him for dear life and triggering his own orgasm.

the two of you came together, your hands leaving the counter to grip his arms instead. for good measure, bucky decided to take two of his fingers and stuff them in your mouth to keep you quiet.

almost instinctively, you began to suck on them, letting your orgasm wash over you and enjoying the feeling of bucky spilling inside of you.

his head dropped on your shoulder, pants leaving his lips and then a chuckle as he kissed the skin there.

his teeth then grazed your neck, rocking into you one last time before pulling out and watching as not a single drop of his seed spilled out.

“fuck, your cunt takes me so well honey,” he groaned as he helped you off of the counter, your legs shaking from the previous activities but bucky had no problems holding you up. “shall we?”

after getting cleaned up and erasing any evidence of what you had done, he offered you his hand and you took it immediately.

you grinned as you heard steve calling for you both, completely oblivious to what had just went on and having no idea that his best friend just fucked his daughter as he rambled about steaks.