I hate myself for loving you - Corbyn Besson
A/N: @coolkidcorbyn You asked for Corbyn and I am here trying to deliver it. Also this may be not the best I could write. I would love some feedback. Send it in asks please!
P.S.-Also send in asks about anything really because I am living alone, and would love to talk to you guys!!
This is inspired by the song ”I hate myself for loving you” by Joan Jett and Blackhearts. Also while writing this I came across Billie Eilish’s I love you. Check it out. Both songs suit the plot.
Summary - Y/N can’t get the one person she loves.
Tag list - @seaveyssparkle @bessonbear @jackaverybabe @jackscorbytch @jackaveryc @coolkidcorbyn @alwaysmarais98 @keepseaveyweird @katie-avery @gracenadinelimelight @mellany1997 @dxnielseavey @talyamarias @fallingforbesson @danieldelicate @danieldelicate @5sos-seavey @zachheroin @besseavey @smolboiseavey @ijustreallylovethem @seqveydaniel @swervavery (if any of you don’t wanna be part of my tag list, please tell me. Send in an ask or message, as you wish)
(@jackaveryc how the f do you have such good GIFs?!)
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Meeting the Why Don’t We boys had been one of the best things in Y/N’s life, and it had only happened because she was best friends with Jonah. Now she had four other best friends.
What helped her, was shifting to LA almost the same time Jonah did. Being with Jonah in an entirely new city, gave her some courage and the other half came from the friends she eventually made.
Apart from being an almost sister to Jonah, she was the closest to Corbyn. Their similar interests of shoes, space and video games had made them one of the closest pairs, equaling Jachary.
With Jonah’s birthday coming, Y/N saw this as the perfect opportunity to surprise her best friends and meet them after six months. When this chance presented itself, she knew she had to go and meet them because she knew with their tour coming up and her continuous projects, she would never be able to.
Jon had sent a driver the day of the New York concert as Y/N landed in the city that never sleeps. Inside were some merch, a backstage pass, a ticket to meet and greet and a black to blue wig. Throwing on the comfy WDW Logo crop Sweatshirt, on top of the previous outfit - her ripped jeans and black very crop top and adjusting the wig to make it look real, she looked outside to see the venue coming up.
She stepped out and heard the announcement for meet and greet. Getting in line, somewhat the middle, she still tried finding Jon. When she couldn’t she texted him and hoped he would see it.
She was starting to see the background for the photo; she could hear Jack and Zach saying stuff.
Reaching them, she did what everyone does; hugged them till Jonah, wished him a happy birthday and asked them to pose for the picture.
“Could you act like I am an old friend who has surprised you and you are really shocked?” she spoke in a slightly high-pitched voice, but also shy to throw them off. The boys being oblivious, didn’t seem the subtle hint she had placed in those lines. A round of of-courses passed and they got the picture; it was exactly like Y/N had imagined it to be.
Jon, standing behind the camera, had seen her and thus had caught on what was happening, soon explaining it to Zack and Y/N hugged the rest of the boys.
Sending a secretive small wink to Jon, Y/N walked off to the lobby of the venue to wait for the concert to start.
The wig had been pulled off and thrown in the garbage, right before the show had started. Still in the comfy hoodie, Y/N was in the fifth row, towards the right part of the stage. The boys preformed and it looked like that’s where they had been all their life. They belonged on the stage, under all the spotlights.
When they stopped to talk and celebrate Jonah’s birthday, did they notice her. As Corbyn was talking to the crowd, he noticed one very familiar face, smiling at him. He didn’t believe it, silently calling Jonah to identify his best friend in the crowd. When Jonah saw her, he burst out laughing, calling her up on the stage. She hugged him and the boys, staying in Corbyn’s arms a little more than needed but unnoticeable to the crowd, before celebrating Jonah’s birthday with a cake she had made and brought for him.
She smiled as she looked at the place full of people, she felt like she was home.
Y/N sat in her room, trying to complete her assignment for college as a sigh escaped her mouth. ‘I wish I had done it when I was supposed. I hate to complete my assignments. Yet because of how stupid I am, I procrastinated.’ She thought, critiquing her habits as always.
She was staying with the boys, for a few days. They were down, doing some tour meeting or whatever it called it. While, she had been sitting doing her work for hours now. Just as she finished the last paragraph to the paper she was writing, Jonah and Corbyn burst into her room, wrestling and shoving each other to get to her first.
“Do you wanna go to a party?” The two boys practically screamed trying to louder than the other.
“Okay, okay! I didn’t understand a thing you said. Could both of take turns and explain to me what is going on, here?” Y/N giggled at their childishness. These two both were closest to her heart, each in a different way.
“There is a party one of our friends is hosting.” Corbyn started.
“We thought we should invite you rather than let you die here, doing your assignments” Jonah finished.
She shook her head, replying, “Sure I’ll come. Let me mail this to my prof and let me get ready. Then we can go.”
Stepping out of the car, Y/N could smell the intoxicating smell of alcohol everyone, and it got strong with each step they took towards the house, with Corbyn and Jonah flanking her sides, like she preferred.
Going around the room, their group diminished to her, Gabbie and Tate standing around talkingor dancing occasionally.
As Y/N went to refill her red cup, she saw a somewhat familiar blonde back of the head, their body pressed against some girl’s; thinking it was Daniel and that he had found someone, she started to walk back but stopped when they turned around. She recognized the figure as Corbyn.
She loved Corbyn, ever since they become friends and she was scared to tell him, in chances of ruining their friendship. Seeing him flirt, hurt her really bad, because she had thought he wouldn’t do that after how the last girl had behaved with her the last time, she had been an accidental witness to this act. She tried generally to hide it but today, she couldn’t hold back her emotions.
The took a deep breathe trying to control and push back her tears. Walking back swiftly, to where Jonah, Tate, Jack and Gabbie stood, talking she guessed.
Before tapping Jonah on the shoulder, she tried to calm herself. However, Tate noticed her strangely taking heavy deep breathes and wiping tears away from her eyes.
“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did something happen?” she questioned, gaining Jonah and Jack’s attention.
“Who do I have to beat up? What happened? Why are you crying?” Jonah and Jack inquired, as Gabbie tried to calm her down, and Tate got her some water.
“I don’t want to talk about it, right now. I just…I just wanna go home.”
Waking up the next day felt as if she had been hit by a truck multiple time. She didn’t want to see Corbyn for the next few days and thus had decided to leave, informing everyone except Corbyn, who was still sleeping. She also talked to them about yesterday’s events and why she had come home early.
Walking towards the kitchen to get a glass of water, Y/N banged into Corbyn, sending a slight fake smile his way, but ignoring anything he was saying.
Suddenly, Y/N was yanked by her shoulders and turned around, trapped in Corbyn’s arms as she tried to make sense of the situation.
“What’s wrong? Why are you avoiding me?” Corbyn look worried.
“No, I am not avoiding you…” Y/N forced a smile.
“And why did you go early yesterday? Are you sure you’re okay? You can tell me what’s wrong!” Corbyn tried again.
“Nothing’s wrong, Corbyn! Let me go!”
“Tell me what’s wrong! Why is your suitcase packed? Weren’t you staying a few more days? What’s wrong? Why is everyone looking at me like that? What did I do?” Corbyn, was begging for an answer, whilst also almost screaming. He gained everyone’s attention, bringing them to where these two stood.
Y/N felt her mind spinning and going crazy. She felt anger running through her veins, her heart running a mile, her mind cloud with extreme emotions.
“I LOVE YOU! THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG! SEEING YOU FLIRT WITH EVERY GIRL YOU MEET RAISES THE HELL IN ME! I DON’T WANT TO CARE BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO LET YOU GO! BUT I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. I AM LEAVING. LET ME GO!” Y/N screamed, her voice breaking towards the end, as she tried her best to pull out of his trap.
Multiple gasps were heard across the room; none of them had expected her to shout at or tell Corbyn anything.
Corbyn’s grip on her loosened as he processed the shocking news he just received. Seeing her opportunity, Y/N dragged her suitcase, leaving the house and probably the city.
Corbyn stood like a statue, in complete shock, as he watched Y/N leave. He wanted to run after her, apologise, tell her about his feelings, bring her back but he couldn’t move a limb. He regretted everything he ever did.
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