what if i write a black doves x 007 crossover where agent young goes undercover as a mascot actor paddington bear at paddington station to smoke out idk like, mafia or something. and ruby loves paddington bear. so. you know.
what then huh
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what if i write a black doves x 007 crossover where agent young goes undercover as a mascot actor paddington bear at paddington station to smoke out idk like, mafia or something. and ruby loves paddington bear. so. you know.
what then huh

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book club where we just read the muppet jokerās blog aloud to each other over and over again and hold hands in a circle
does anyone else find the idea of a 00q āiām a celebrityā au really fucking funny or is it just brainrot again
sam young the man you are (probably gets pissed off his tits and cries in an abandoned field to kodalineās high hopes and gets rained on)
another instance of circus-level clownery that have me laughing so hard i pee myself a little about black doves: that moment where sam takes michael on a first date to the restaurant where he killed his father as his first hit. iām sorry did you miss that? let me repeat: first date. in the same place. where he shot his father. for money.
like i donāt think it was the same booth exactly but jesus christ - what level of pseudo-freudian psycho-shit do you need to be on for that to seem like a good, let alone romantic idea. and i do believe with my whole chest that he thought it was romantic, because jesus christ did yāall see how fucking whipped he is for that man after one single instance of eye-contact. the only explanation i can possibly find for this is that sam young has reached such levels of immense theatrical drama-queenery that the cycle has simply come back around to close on suspicious glibness as a trauma response. like. what the fuck. heās so funny.

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sam young, jaded triggerman, utter tragedy of a human being, gifting his best friendās children heās never met fucking nerf guns for christmas is the funniest possible way black doves could have ended. how even. did he walk into that toy shop and it was just the first thing he saw he could relate to? i like guns, this is guns for children? or is he simply the funniest bitch around? either way, what an absolute piss-take. god i love him
watching black doves transfixed by ben whishawās kicked dog eyes like i can fix him i can make him worse i can do unspeakable things to him in fic
also keira knightley reaffirming her status as my forever awakening
as an addendum to my last post, may i present: corrie guard christmas multiverse of madness
while thire is off john mcclane-ing and fox psychologically tortures three bountyhunters trying to break into the senate, hound is left in command of barracks where perimeter alarms begin to screech suddenly and LOOK, okay, YOUR first instinct wouldāve been to shoot at the strange being on the roof of military property too!
is what he tries frantically to explain to the strange little creature that appeared out of nowhere exceedingly miffed at him for apparently accidentally shooting its boss. how was he supposed to know that man wasnāt trying to blow them up?! people do that all the time!
the little being who looks remarkably like general yoda if he was not green, wrinkly and himself at all turns up its nose at him. well tough shit it says. you still have to come live in the north quadrant now. congratulations, you have just been promoted to spanta clause.
what the kriff is a spanta clause hound asks. the answer does not make him any less confused. also, what kind of kriffed up hiring process is this where you have to kill the guy who had the job before you?! hound knows very little about natborn conventions, but even heās pretty sure they donāt make senate aides fight to the death in gladiatoral spectacles!
(most of them, anyways. heās not entirely sure about some.)
also, why the kriff is grizzerās nose suddenly red?!
Die Alone: The Coruscant Guard Christmas Special
Allās calm and quiet on Coruscant, for once - the Senateās either gone home to celebrate the universally beloved Xeshmas with their closest, or is attending the annual festive bash at the Spakatomi Splaza buildings, sponsored by Chandrila. At 79ās, a horde of merry Commanders get together to bask in the Xeshmas spirit (red, green and white shots) and celebrate another year survived. But wait, Bacara groans into someoneās boots only thirty minute into their jolly bash, where the kriff is Fox? Ignored the invite again?
A strange feeling comes over Cody. He spent the entire day brooding, telling everyone who would listen that he has the strangest sensation of having forgotten something important and being told it canāt be that important if heās forgotten it (Wooley) or to quit being such a partypooper (Rex). Now, it dawns on him.
He never sent that comm to Fox.
Do u have an ao3 account?
i do! same handle as the tumblr, unfortunately only 2 published WIPs so far that i pinky promise iām working on whenever i get the chance - feel free to drop by xx

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can you share something about "winter is here" for the wip game?
yes of course! this is exciting because itās a little out of the usual programming, but something iāve been working on for like two years on and off since the idea just will not let go of me - now iāve finally decided to sit down, write it out, and just do it :3
āwinter is hereā is the follow-up to āan eye for an eyeā, and the basic premise of the series is this: instead of a son, jacaerys velaryon is born a girl. much proceeds as in canon. except for this: now there is an additional targaryen around of marriageable age, and no one except for viserys is excited about this grand idea, especially not aemond or jace. jace goes on a continent-wide tour (thinly veiled bid for fealty) to hand out personal invitations to the royal wedding, and lands on the last stop of her roadtrip - winterfell. it ends up being neither a quick nor simple visit, and upends more than it clarifies. for jace, at least. for the cause itās kind of great.
honestly this is a big spoiler but also like the singular scene i have written for this, and i donāt know if any of you read hotd stuff anyways, so here you go!
It was a chaste, close-lipped press of mouths - nothing spectacular, truly. Jace had seen more heated kisses described by her childhood Septa over needle-work. It should have been entirely, utterly unspectacular. She was a dragonrider who chased her brothers through the sky, a Targaryen heiress to the Iron Throne, doubly descended from two ancient families of Old Valyria both amongst the richest on the continent, and yet-
And yet, when Cregan drew back, Jace immediately found herself chasing after the warmth of his lips, stopped only by the gentle press of his palm against her cheek. It felt like it spanned the whole of her face, swallowed her up entirely, wrapped her in this enchanting man and his enchanting being which had fascinated her from the first instant - and in that moment, she knew that there was now a before and an after in her life; an early Jacaerys who had not known what it felt like to kiss this impossible, incredible man, and then found death and rebirth on his lips.
There was no trace of duty on her mind, to the realm or her mother or even her betrothed, who could not have been paid to care if she threw herself on a blade right this instant.
āI love youā, the Lord of Winterfell whispered, voice uncharacteristically shaky, after a momentās hesitation. Jace drew a sharp breath, clammy fingers tightening around his strong wrist, eyes burning as she gazed up at him. āI am sorry for saying it - it would have been easier, I think, if I had not. But it is true, and I am weak. I am sorry for that, Princess.ā
And Jacaerys began to weep silently, because she loved him too, but if she said it aloud she risked losing everything dear to her.
yay! wasnāt that cheerful! spoiler alert they do not get their grand happy ending, because the targaryen dynasty is a messy clusterfuck of toxicity and intermarrying is the only thing that keeps them from nuking each other into oblivion (textually, this is the whole point: the targaryen paradox, if you will). i mostly find it interesting to ponder how i can make these people not blood-feud eachother into non-existence, and also to slowly make them understand that it will happen anyways. not in this one, maybe, but someday. sisyphus and all that.
wip title game! tagged by @sithfox <3
rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and tag as many people as you have wips.
- an apple a day
- uhhhh
- Concussed Fox
- an eye for an eye
- The Bombad Commander
- winter is here
tagging: @hastalavistabyebye @whiskygoldwings @rooksunday @cats-and-dr-pepper @stealthetrees
if you have already been tagged feel free to ignore this!
Fox has one tattoo. One single tattoo only. He swore heād never get one, too icked out by the needles - they buzz weirdly and he doesnāt like the idea of something under his skin. Itās not supposed to be there. Kind of common sense, really, he says, looking at a vod from the 501st with a fuck-off massive tattoo of the Republic insignia on his face. Choices.
A month into his posting as least glamorous Marshall Commander in the GAR, however, he changes his mind. Or, rather: the ARF unitās godless, homebrewed basement-hooch changes his mind. Fox now has one tattoo, namely a tramp stamp that says in shaky script, THORN WUZ HIA. AND THIRE. AND HOUND. AND STONE.
(Stone didnāt want to add that last one, so Thire did it for him. He crossed it out as protest. Now Fox has his tramp stamp and none of his Commanders have rights.)
Last Line Challenge
tagged by @sithfox @whiskygoldwings @hastalavistabyebye <3
couldāve put an apple a day whose second chapter is due to be posted any day now, but i thought you guys would prefer this long ass excerpt from an untitled work lmao
Foxās hands develop a mind of their own, not that he can currently muster the will to care. Green spots are exploding at the edges of his vision, popping off into sparks. Huh. Are senatorial robes always this soft?
āYou have very good shoulders, sirā, he tells Senator Organa, lowering his voice to a near-whisper. āVery⦠firm. Very broad. Mhhm.ā Fox squeezes gently, gasping at the slight give of the hard muscle underneath the fabric. He blinks at the other man, whose mouth is slightly agape. Soft. āHave your eyes always been such a rich brown, sir?ā
āHe has a wife, Fox!ā, Grids whisper-screams, from where sheās hovering over them a few steps away, hands fluttering helplessly through the air. Serves her right, Fox thinks with a haughty sniff. Always making him be the adult in the room.
āHis wife is also very prettyā, he dismisses, and then adds, to Organa, āHer majesty is also very pretty, sir. Very handsome. Mhhhm.ā
who knows when this will become a thing. not me. tag itās you iām pingponging it back @sithfox @hastalavistabyebye @whiskygoldwings @stealthetrees
how i think the fives chip arc shouldāve ended? they drop the blasters and fight out the treason-or-no-treason, that-is-the-question in a spontaneous dance battle to high school musicalās āi donāt danceā

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commander fox walking into the GAR pool party in red speedos with abs drawn on his armour in slow motion like billy from stranger things with moving in stereo by the cars playing in the background, send twee-
*gunshot noise*
itās canon to me that anakin skywalker and marshall commander fox are archnemeses of a shakespearean nature to eachother
why? well, foxā life is a tragedy of galactic proportions. heās a slave at best and straight up non-sentient property at worst, caught at the crossroads of being the face of the republicās most corrupt establishment to his brothers who resent him for being forced to bear an authority he has no actual control over, and being the closest and easiest target for that very authorityās ire. made to enforce the rigged and deeply unjust laws against his own oppressed peoples, and no one understands better than fox how much coruscant truly despises them. the chancellor at the heart of it all, and anakin, the favored pupil - taken in by the flattery and empty promises like all the rest of them, the jedi most intimately connected to the senate who yet cares so little to know the clones who shed their blood in it every day that he never sees beyond his own very nose. no one asks the guard what they think, and fox despises them all for it, but the jedi who play at caring more than anything. itās an impersonal, distanced dislike for the most part, but with skywalker it burns all the brighter for how often fox sees him walk the halls of the senate and never think to ask.
also fox cut anakin off in traffic once and he never forgave him for it