Surprise MotherFucker!

@izzyogan

25+ years old. They/Them

70.3K posts

i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive

#me about arcane lol #it’s really not for me

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my humor might be broken cause I find this trend actually funny

ur-daily-inspiration

when it comes down to it everything is about ghosts except ghosts, which are about love

shadow-banned-the-hedgehog

"the average income in <X> is <Y> of <currency>" cool, what's the median

unyielding-pussy

Average isn't useful here. however, after a little bit of research, apparently the median income in the US is $24,327, which means the reality is actually much worse than this meme makes it seem. yay!

asteroidtroglodyte

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noartnowritingsorry

Oh no…

autistic-speedbump

I hate the argument that, because something exists in a game, we as gamers MUST make use of it.

"Don't tell me to just not use iron farms in Minecraft! The devs made it possible, so I have to, even if it ruins the game for me!"

That's fucking stupid. You have free will. Just don't fucking use an iron farm, you goddamn infant. You choose how you play the game. Add rules. Come up with challenges. Do something other than try to ruin other people's fun.

"They put this feature in the game, so I have to use it! I have to minmax, because they made it possible to--"

Do you think I'm out here minmaxing Stardew Valley? Yeah, you CAN do that, and some people find that really fun! I am simply having a gay little time on my gay little farm, though! I feel absolutely no need to speedrun straight to the endgame! I'm enjoying meandering a bit! I gift people at my leisure! I don't always plant the most profitable crop! I haven't used a single guide or walkthrough to ensure maximum efficiency!

That's the beauty of games! We choose how we play them! I like to Nuzlocke Pokemon games! I like to take my time in open-world games! I like to relax in cozy games! I choose those playstyles, because they're what makes each type of game fun for me in different ways!

Please, do not feel bound by what the game allows you to do! Games like to give us options, not obligations!

maidsuokasenpai

I honestly think the original ah lads not again post is the funniest

maidsuokasenpai

Never before have I identified with a tv character so much.

dreamilypurpleoutcast

anarchistmemedistro

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lizardbytheriver

When all avenues for peace are denied, violence is inevitable.

i know the quest of educating people never ends, but it does kind of bum me out that even in the year of 2023 we need to go out of our way to explain the simplest concepts to people. “you should give a fuck that a whole country is being genocided” seems like a relatively easy to understand sentiment, and yet you will still have people out there coming up w a thousand and one reasons for why it’s none of their concern. it blows my mind every fucking time. we really do need to teach people to care about other people and that is insane to me. like what basic human rights do you need to be spoon fed next??? should we also be pointing out that poor people are also people

eternalravendreamer

This is an Onion article title from like. 2013, idk the exact year.

“Palestinian women enjoying themselves in the Mediterranean Sea.”

Photographed by Boaz Rottem, 2018.

normal-horoscopes

Okay someone asked me earlier "Hey CT, you study the occult for a living, off the top of your head, what's the most popular form of the occult in today's world?"

Pseudo-nutrition. Bar none. A massive amount of the fad dieting world goes beyond simple misinformation and ignorance and full on into a systemized non-scientific theory of anatomy and nutrition that 100% qualifies as magic. If you replace the term "toxins" with "evil ghosts" half of these blogs would sound like sumerian curse tablets.

catgirlcaliphate

Y'all remember "cops aren't supposed to kill guilty people, either", right?

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to die beneath the rubble of their homes.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be shot with expanding bullets that cause massive tissue damage leading to amputation.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to have their flesh burned away with white phosphorous.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve their fishing boats blown up.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to see their husbands and fathers executed in front of them along evacuation routes.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve an anonymous phone call threatening to destroy their lives and families.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be detained for years without charges.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be tortured, starved, and sexually assaulted in prison.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be deprived of water.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve their olive trees to be uprooted while they look on.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve sixteen years of blockade.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be prevented from traveling for lifesaving medical care.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve this genocide.

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homunculus-argument

If plague doctors hadn't been a real thing, and you made them up for a speculative history/fantasy story, people would complain that they're implausibly advanced and way too cool.

Like you're like "yeah there's this super lethal illness and nobody actually knows how it spreads so just to be safe they've got these sick gothy fucking hazmat suits. No Greg shut up they totally had all the materials to make them, you can make fabric splatter-resistant by waxing and oiling it. And the mask is because of the- guys shut up, let me finish. The mask is- there's scented- guys shut up. They didn't have germ theory but they figured it has something to do with the air smelling- No shut up, you're a fucking furry. The beak makes it cool. Jerks."

whattheforkdude

please unmute this

I’ve never seen high school musical and now I never need to

Basketball basketball we love basketball

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