qtmute

wawtiwq

scrubbed the bathroom floor this morning. this sense of virtue and industry will last me easily into next week.

some of you would thrive in a monastery

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @worldheritagepostorganization

is this the ORIGINAL?!???

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

"when dealing in infinites, unlikely is just certainty waiting for it's turn" is such a raw line you'd think it came from Shakespeare but no it's from Famous Youtube Star Markiplier's eponymous In Space With Markiplier