clusterfuck💀

if 14 year old me could see me now, she’d be so fucking disappointed.

Nothing like feeling completely numb for a few weeks and then having one night where I sob uncontrollably. Love the consistency.

I cannot believe I caught feelings. fuck. that. shit.

The world and the people around me continue to develop and progress, yet I always remain stagnant. The world turns so rapidly, it’s movement seemingly taunting me, and the sounds of that movement are deafening. I can hardly bear it. I feel immense pleasure at others failures, and I despise myself for that. It’s as if I throughly enjoy seeing them dragged down to my level of pathetic irrelevance. I suppose how I view others says plenty about how I view myself. A fucking nobody.

I have drifted so far from natural human emotion. It’s complete and utter nothingness. I’m empty.

one of these days I’m gonna smile unironically