to love me is to suffer me

Chapters: 34/? Fandom: Lost (TV 2004) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

When she opens her eyes again, it’s to the sight of a familiar bomb lying only a few feet away.

And suddenly, she wants nothing more than for the damn thing to explode like it was supposed to, take her back to LAX.

She’ll find him again, she’ll track him down if she has to; they’ll fall back in love in some other way. A better way with a better ending.

Because it doesn’t matter anymore, not here. They can’t be salvaged in this life where she is dead already.

watching lost 2x09 ("what kate did") with my parents and we get to the scene where kate breaks down and confesses to an unconscious sawyer why she killed wayne and... god, i love kate austen. so much. that kind of pain, the pain of feeling like there is something deep and ugly inherited into your bloodstream, is so debilitating; it ruins your hopes, your dreams, your relationships. and every time you think you have even a chance of being something more, that darkness, that self-hatred inside of you that convinces you are this evil, unlovable monster, surges up and reminds you that you can't. that you will never deserve it. so you stay in this endless cycle of shame. and for her to also lose her childhood best friend after killing wayne and having her mom give her up (diane i will never forgive you) amplifies all of this, especially since she feels responsible. tom was probably the first and last person to love her unconditionally, to give her even a glimpse of what that meant. i just had to sit alone and cry afterwards.

the fact that there are people who still actively hate her character after this episode is insane to me. i understand disliking a character, but the reasons i see people hating on kate are usually ridiculous. she is such a layered and devastating character. i wish we could have just continued to explore her without so much of her story being filtered through the love triangle. her relationship with sawyer is fascinating, as is her devotion to jack, but i feel like the crux of her arc becomes about choosing between them versus exploring kate's trauma, guilt, and identity. such a loss imo. especially off island—i wish we could have further delved into what being a mother meant to her since i don't think she would have chosen to have children otherwise, especially after the trauma of what her mom put her through.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Lost (TV 2004) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

His recollection of the whole event is pretty blurry, but he remembers enough—stumbling down the sidewalk, her being the only clear thought on his mind. In his impaired state, he was just so sure that as long as he found Juliet, he would be fine. She would fix him. 

or: 

The first time one of them says "I love you" is while the other is sleeping- or so they think

a prompt fill for the Lost Summer 2026 prompt challenge.

but it's not your fault and I don't need help 'cause these bruises on my body I gave to myself

juliet burke & james "sawyer" ford | suliet | lost

my atlantis we fall

Chapters: 33/? Fandom: Lost (TV 2004) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

By the time they reach Jack, Sawyer has run out of patience, options, and time. Jack won’t listen to him, won’t change his mind, even after Sawyer sits out in the jungle with him for a heart-to-heart, listening to him lament about Locke and destiny and losing Kate. Even after he damn near begs for the other man to just stop. To refrain from taking it all away.

He refuses.

"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be," Jack tells him.

Bullshit.