IvyDoesArts

CREATIVE LIFE TWO:

Roommates with Astral-

Verdance felt very silly for this, but she was nervous to meet her roomate. Yeah, yeah, she knew. Famed gladiator, temporarily homeless, abuse victim, and she was scared of meeting one person who didn’t know a thing about her. Verdance had considered sleeping outside, but she supposed that would be even weirder than explaining too her roomate that she talked in her sleep.

It’s going to be fine. verdance though, inhaling sharply throgh her nose. She put one hand on the doorhandle, feeling the cold metal against her palm. She really should have just sucked it up and built her own room. Except… it sounded nice to spend time with someone else again. No wonder she was so confused.

She turned the door open before she could stop herself.

-

Astral was sitting on the bed, looking out of the window. It was a mistake being here. They should be trying to find the nearest ocean and never leaving. But there were still tasks to do, people they may have to fight. A home, people who promised them amnesty, those were assets they needed.

The door opened and they came face to face with their new roommate. She seemed just as hesitant as they were, thank goodness. A quiet room sounded nice. "Hello," Astral said, then went back to staring.

-

“Hi!” verdance replied, and then cringed. Loud, too enthusiastic. Why would she greet one person in her crowd voice?* “uh, nice to meet you, I’m Verdance.” *she took a step towards the bottom bunk of the bed where the other person was sitting. She stuck out her hand, grimacing as her eye caught the arena branding in her hand.

No matter how long she stayed away, no matter how free her mind became, her skin, her bone, belonged to the arena. To Johnathan.

-

"Astral." They took Verdance's hand and shook it, deciding not to comment on the mark. Most other land-dwellers they had met had not possessed such a mark. Though if Verdance wanted them to ask, she would have brought it up.

Verdance seemed too nervous to try to snatch their coat in the middle of the night, but then again, scared people did desperate things. Astral made a note to think about hiding it or creating some sort of alarm system.

"Forgive me, I took the bed on the bottom before asking what you might prefer."

-

“No, I always take top bunk.” *Verdance said quickly, flopping down on the bed beside them. Wait- was that too much? Too close? Verdance sat back up, scooting out of Astrals personal space. “So, were you here last time, or did the watchers decide to scoop up some new poor schmucks for their little game?”

Verdance tried, and failed, to hide the contempt in her voice.

-

Astral tried not to flinch, but at least they backed away. "I'm new, to the best of my knowledge." None of their hazy recollections indicated that they had ever done something like this before. "I am assuming this is not your first time?"

-

“No not even close.” Verdance though, squeezing tight on her branded palm. She pressed out a breath, and then smiled, her pointed teeth bared. “Nope, they liked me so much they brought me back for another round.” she was a little too aware of the axe, strapped to her back. A dead roomate couldn’t complain about her sleep talking.

Kidding Verdance thought to herself, quickly. I dont kill anymore.

Unless its self defence.

Or they hate me.

Or i hate them

…

No. Verdance didnt kill people. A good person wouldnt find that some difficult.

-

Astral sighed. "It doesn't seem to be a good thing to be liked, does it?" They remembered Coda. Coda had been liked. "Are you the sort to sleep deeply?"

Astral had never actually slept before. Well, not in the same way land-dwellers seemed to. They considered turning into a seal just so they could forgo the vulnerability, but they didn't want anyone to know about their selkie-ness just yet.

-

verdance laughed, showing off each of her pointed teeth. “you could call it that, I don’t thing anything would be able to wake me up. Um, i do sleep talk though, I hope you dont mind too much.”

and sleepscream. And kick, and maybe rip little holes in the blankets. And bite people who got to close

That seemed like a bit too much for introduction.

-

Astral had never slept, so they weren't sure if they would mind. But at least they would be constantly reminded that they weren't alone. Silence was nice, but it was deceptive sometimes. "As long as you do not strike me while I rest, then it should be okay."

-

“Of course not!” verdance said, a little too quickly “just maybe dont stick your limbs near my bunk when im asleep. Just in case.”

“Forgive me for asking, but what species are you? No offence, but you dont look very human. I can’t judge, neither do I,” Verdance lifted her lion-like tail, twirling it between her fingers. “But I’m curious.”

-

"I don't plan to, though I appreciate the forewarning. I am a sea-dweller." Astral said simply. If they could not guess based on the coat, then they might not be able to recognize a selkie on sight. That was fine by them. If Verdance got mad about them omitting a little, it would be alright. "What might you be, if you don't mind me asking?"

-

“I don’t really know.” Verdance shrugged. “My father left when I was 2, and my half brother looks nothing like me. My mother also lived in a very poor area, with every species you could imagine, so I could be anything. I’m at least part elf, but beyond that, I don’t know.”

looks. No mater how long he had been dead, Verdance couldn’t stop referring to her sweet little brother in the present tense.

“Ive never been a good swimmer.” Verdance blurted trying to make small talk. “my mother always used to tell me death was like a massive ocean, and we all simply bobbed around until the current swept us into our next life.”

Verdance hated that story. She had dreams about ending up in that ocean, only to get dragged down, unable to kick her way to the surface. She hated it even more because her little brother Devon couldn’t swim.

She prayed he managed to stay afloat.

-

Astral listened intently. None of their family had ever called the land death in the same way. Their father had laughed once and told them that they would wish it was. Coda had his own thoughts, but Astral had stopped taking his opinions into account. “That is an interesting metaphor for death. I have always found the land to be full of life. For better or worse.” They shrugged. “I can relate. I have never been a good walker.”

-

Verdance burst out laughing, a real genuine laugh. Maybe this whole roomate deal wouldn’t be so bad.

-

Backstab Central with Cael-

Verdance was both enjoying and not enjoying her alone time. Sure, she liked her team, and her new roommates, but she also missed being so close with people. Back on the worms everyone was knit together, like a tapestry. She felt more connected to maple Cae and the others than anyone. Well, except her family, back when they were around.

She liked astral, but of course, with them being a selkie, there was a disconnect, and Verdance knew no matter how nice their room together was, it was dry and hot and unmistakably, the surface

And yet none of that compared to her hatred of being alone.

Just a quick trip out. Verdance thought, wringing her branded hands together. She wouldnt be in the woods much longer, just had to find a sheep…

A branch crunched behind her.

”Who’s there?”

-

Star freezes, an arrow already cocked in her bow. That voice, Verdance. Her closest ally and friend. But that was a long time ago, and they aren't anymore.

The Boogeyman curse had washed over her, filling the world with a red bloodlust. Last time this happened, she made enemies. Big ones. So she's decided to get it over with quick. One shot. One kill.

The words float around in her head, spinning their reckless tales into her heart. That fleeting green heart, stained with purple.

But she can't. Not yet.

She drops her arm, straining to let the arrow go without a shot.

"Verdance?"

-

“Star!” Verdance shouted out enthusasticly, eyes shining like a little kids in a candy store. She spotted a figure between the trees and turned, taking off into a run. She wrapped Star in a hug, squeezing tight around her, tail flicking happily. Star seemed to stiffen, and Verdance loosed her grip, backing away. “Sorry to have caught you off guard, I just—“

missed you. Needed someone. Was so so so alone and I never thought I would see you again.

“Just-“ Verdance paused, flustered.

-Knew you would be the only allay I never betrayed, the one person who stuck by me. The friend who woke me up at one in the morning to play games, and the one I split my food with when they needed it. The one person I knew I could trust.

Verdance swallowed.

“-Missed you.”

-

Her stomach drops. Verdance misses her. That makes this so much harder.

"I missed you too"

*And I hate what I have to do to you*

.Star forces a smile, trying to seem genuine. She hides her bow behind her back as best as she can, returning Verdance's hug. It's warm, it always was. Void, she missed this. Nights spent talking and days filled with laughter, no matter what was going on around them. Someone to talk to when no one else was there. Her new home seems so much more alone.

-

Verdance smiled, the most genuine smile she had given since creative life started. “So, what brings you out here?”

-

Star didn't plan for this... Shoot.

"I was out um- going to get food! Was running low and needed some more stuff"

-

“ah same! Was just looking for some sheep, did you wanna join me?”

Please? She whispered to herself.

“It could be fun, like old times ya know?”

-

"Sure!"

She can't deny Verdance, can she?

-

Another smile.

Verdance wasn’t even sure she knew why she hadn’t teamed with star again. When star never sought her out, she assumed she wanted space. But here she was, and now they were a team again. At least for a little while.

*maybe I could even convince her to come back to the base with me.* Verdance mused.

“Right this way mlady!” Verdance dipped into a sweeping bow, pulling her axe over her shoulder and twirling it around her feet. She extended a hand, grimacing as her eye caught the branding again.

That number was too high.

But she could admit she had missed doing arena tricks. Her axe was a prop just as much as a weapon.

-

Maybe this won't have to be so hard. Maybe Verdance will understand, maybe they can still be friends.

She follows Verdance, watching as her axe twirls in the air. A smile grows on Star's face as she listens to her talk.

"Thank you!"

She thinks for a second before resuming her talking

"Who've you got on your team?"

People who won't take revenge hopefully…

-

“Astral, soulless, and a few others.” Verdance stared, counting on her fingers. “Oh and fallen of course. It took some convincing, but the rest of the team let them in, and good thing they did.”

Verdances smile shifted, more like a bared grin, all teeth.

“They’re a real bulldog, and red already. I just know we wanted them on our side.”

How bout you, anyone cool?

Anyone you’d be willing to leave behind?

-

Soulless she recognizes, but Astral she has no idea about. And Fallen. Verdance was teammates with Fallen. The red who'd tried to kill her own teammate. The red who'd succeeded.

That, at least makes Star feel better about killing Ivy. It's revenge, protecting her team.

"Seems like a good spot to be in, I've got Deimi and Ash. It's just us three but it's cozy"

-

“Ah, nice nice.” Verdance mused, scanning the landscape for sheep. “Glad you found yourself a nice place.” Verdance spotted a white pelt between the trees, and started towards it, her back to Star.

“Hey, I think I see one!”

Footsteps behind her, a little too anxious.

-

Star runs after Verdance, almost calling out for her to wait.

But then she realizes. Verdance has her back turned. She's not watching. She won't be able to defend herself in time.

The bow comes back out, pointed at Verdance's retreating back. Star pulls it up to her face, takes a breath, and shoots.

The arrow hits close to the heart, but not close enough to kill her. Not outright at least.

"I'm sorry."

-

Verdance heard the words before she processed what had happened.

“I’m sorry.”

It was when she heard that, that admital, that Verdance was aware of the shaft sticking through her chest. Cold metal seared through her flesh, and drippy, drippy red leaking from the front of her torso.

She stumbled, the sheep in her vision spotting her and bolting off. She… she needed to bolt too. She was the prey now, and she-

Verdance groaned, low and pained, dropping to one knee and clutched her stomach. Blood squirted from the wound as she made contact, seeping through her shaking fingers. She turned, free hand tightening on the axe, not that it could help her. She saw the arrow shaft, sticking through her body like a stake. If Star didn’t finish her, this would.

Star. Star did this. And now… what? Why did she hesitate, verdance was down.

“S-so that’s it, hu?” Verdance seethed, sucking in a painful breath between clenched teeth. “After all we went through, I’m just another kill? I was bogey 4 times Star. F-four fucking times, and not once did I go for you. Because we were a team!”

-

She winces, watching this never gets easier. But this is hard. Verdance.

Walking up behind her, she drops to the ground beside Verdance, grabbing the arrow from the back. Star rips it out of her, hissing as she does.

"But we aren't anymore, and I made a promise. I'm loyal to my team, and yours is a problem to us. So I'm sorry."

-

Verdance gasped, a tremor seizing her as Star ripped the arrow out. She doubled over, clutching her chest, keeping the other hand loosely tethered to her axe.

Are you, are you really?”Verdance smiled through gritted teeth, lifting her head to look Star in the eye. “Until next season of course, where you’ll stab them in the back. And then you’ll look them in the eye as they bleed, and try to justify it to yourself. You’ll try to make yourself feel better about what you did, and you might be able to convince them, but you cant convince me.”

Verdance saw Stars hand, bloody and still, in her perifial. She saw it ebb and flow with the pounding of her heartbeat in her ear.

*I’m going to die.*

Then Verdance was going to make these next words hurt. You didn’t live in an arena without learning how to stab people without weapons.

“But this isn’t about my team.” Verdance snarled. “If you wanted to hurt us, or if this was for ‘best’, you would have gone for fallen.”

“You attacked me because it was easy. You’ve always been that way, searching for the quick way out. Not a fighter, not even a good player. You’re a coward.”

“So then, go on? Or are you too s-scared to finish what you started? Because letting me bleed out like this is a cowards choice.”

-

Her heart hurts. It feels like a thousand arrows, all piercing her soul in a second.

She moves in front of Verdance, red enveloping her vision.

"Maybe I am all of those things. And maybe I should've stayed with you when I had the chance. But it never matters, does it?" Star crouches down to Verdance's level. "It never came to anything. So why care? Why not move on and do what you know is best."

Holding the arrow in her fist, she brings it up to Verdance's neck. She takes a breath and moves to whisper in her ear.

"Because I know you're everything I'm not. And I know it'll be my downfall in the end."

,Star stabs into Verdance, holding it there as she watches the blood drip down her hand and stain her sleeve. Her face is cold as she stands up, turning her back.

-

Everything she wasnt.*

That was a lie. For all of Verdances brave words she was a coward too, in a different way. She clung to people, idolized them, fought for them, killed for them, gave them everything she could possibly give, all because of her cowardice, that fear of being alone.

She gave her family care, Foli love, Uxini shows, and finally, Star, her life.

Verdance wanted to hate her for it. But she hadn’t hated her family, or foli, or god forbid unixi. And yet, they weren’t here for her. Star was just being more direct with her abandonment.

Verdance wanted to hate her for it. And this time, she decided she actually would.

The tip of the arrow plunged through her neck, and Verdance swallowed hard, managing to hock up a bloody mouthful of spit onto Stars face.

*something to remember me by.*

“G-good luck forgetting th-this…” verdance whispered, feeling a sharp burn up her throat. She was choking on her own blood, feeling the sticky liquid cling to her throat like a virus. Her hand slipped off the axe, and her cheek hit the dirt, leaving her face to face with the tip of Stars boots.

-

Star watches, frozen as Verdance hits the floor. The blood drips down her face and she makes no move to wipe it off. Watching as she struggles, the red haze fades away as Verdance grows still and disappears.

She reaches down, picking up the axe that remained and leaves, walking towards B.A.S.I.C.'s base.

Leaving it in a cubby by the entrance, she whispers a last regret.

"It's been amazing, goodbye"

-

A flower, perhaps? With Cael-

Verdance was having a fairly normal night, sitting at the side of the river, skinning her kill. Fresh cow hide tore from the body with each pass of her night, and she felt the blood, pulsing under her blade.

this had been done to humans

she had done this to humans.

*not this game.* Verdance said to herself, gripping tighter on the knife. She had some close calls, and attacked some people in a moment of weakness, but Verdance had yet to kill another player.

Her penance was working. She was slowly forgetting what it felt like to rip human flesh from human bone, to tear someone’s life from loosening fingers.

A swift wizzing sounded near her head, and verdance dropped to the ground, narrowly missing an arrow.

-

Star watches Verdance as her arrow misses, landing in the river. She lets out a hiss, angry she couldn't get it over with.

climbing down from her position in a tree, she walks up to Verdance.

"Oh. You. I guess I didn't see you."

Yes she did. She saw her perfectly. Star rocks back and forth on her heels, smiling at the other.

-

Verdance’s eyes trail to the arrow, lodged in the cows skull. She grabbed it at the base, yanking it out with a bloodied hand.

Verdance tossed the arrow at Stars feet, her tail flicking dangerously. “You’re a liar.”

Star didn’t seem to react to the insult nor the arrow, and Verdance felt somthing in her chest tighten. That placid, simple smile wasn’t like Star.

-

Hmmm no she's not, right? She *meant* to hit the cow. Not Verdance. Why is Star trying to hurt her again? Right. It told her to.

"Nope, the arrow landed exactly where I wanted it to. I'm not lying, the flo- smiles don't lie"

Almost gave it away. That was close. Too close.

She continues smiling as she picks up the arrow and wipes it on her overalls, blood smearing across the front.

-

Verdance found herself talking a step back.

Star was many things, but a ‘smile’ was not one of them. She was wearing an expression Verdance had never seen, and it disturbed her more than any blood.

Her expression reminded verdance of a disease that plagued her hometown, called Bloody Mary sydrome. It was an airborne fungus, and deadly too, a rot that slowly overtook the brain. It made the victims skin go pale and reflective like glass, and their mouths would pull into contented smiles like fishhooks were tearing them from either end. Their hair became silkier, their eyes liquifyed, and they would do anything to touch you, and transmit their disease.

There was no cure, as soon as someone was infected, you had to kill them. Verdance… Verdance had lost her mother that way.

”Your not Star.”

-

She is though! How dare Verdance say she's not herself. Star's had a smile before! Back when- um. She has. Trust her. The flowers won't lie to her.

"Nope, I am! Same little avian you almost killed last time we saw each other. Remember?"

That- she didn't mean to bring that up. Eek. Too late to take it back now.

Oh. She remembers when she smiled like this last. Right before she died, last game. **It** was inside her. Made her do things. Is that what the flowers are? No, they can't be. The flowers keep her safe, they keep her alive, they help her with things, so why can't she do the one thing they asked of her? Not mess this up. Star can't mess this up.

-

“Is that what this is about?” Verdance said, fighting to keep eye contact with the… thing… standing across from her. “Look I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too, I just-“

Verdance cut herself off, frustrated. Of course she was apologizing to Star. Again.

“Look, if you wanna kill me, I get it, but don’t pretend thats not what you’re here for.

Again with that glassy smile…

Verdance swallowed hard, her grip tightening on the bloodied knife.

-

"If that's what you want!"

Without thinking, Star immediately nocks the arrow she's holding and shoots at Verdance. Too close to be effective probably, but what else can she try? She doesn't have her axe on her. That's a problem.

Her grin widens as she pulls another arrow out of her quiver, quickly aiming at Verdance again.

"Hey, come on! I'm sorry, why don't you join me?"

(This Rp ended early)

Verdance and Star Part two with Cael-

Verdance was sitting outside of Stars base, just like she had the last night, fireing arrows through her window. The threats were one thing, but crow? Star had officially taken things too far.

Verdance sucked in a breath, and with one hand on her axe, kicked down the door.

“Star I know you’re here!”

Verdances voice dropped “Now get out here, and let’s talk.”

-

Star freezes from where she was warming herself by the furnace at the sound of breaking glass.

She moves to the room, watching arrow after arrow lodge itself in the ground. Then a voice, Verdance's.

I guess we're doing this.

"What do you want Verdance."

Star speaks as she leans on the door, glaring at the person in front of her.

"You broke my window."

-

“And you broke Crows chest with that arrow.” Verdance snarled. “You broke my trust, and more importantly, you broke a promise. You swore Star, you swore! You promised we were a team, in it for the long haul, and you killed me.”

Like an animal. Slaughtered from behind, like cattle, Verdance had been killed.

“As for why I’m here, I’m here for my apology.”

it was childish, and foolish to march in here and demand somthing from Star, but to demand that?

It was exactly what Verdance wanted. All her life she was bowing and hiding and saying her sorries, and just once, she wanted to be the one to say, ‘I forgive you.’

-

Right. She'd already almost forgotten about killing Crow. Or- not forgotten. Tried to.

"That promise was from before. It's a new start. I don't owe you anything, not even a second of my time."

Maybe she feels a little bit bad. Crow was on yellow. Now they're red. But it was justified. Fallen had been relentlessly torturing Deimi, and she wanted revenge.

"I won't apologize. You know how this game goes. People fight. No one apologizes. Even less the people cursed. I did what I had to do and that's that."

-

“You had to go after a yellow?” Verdance asked. “That’s bullshit Star, you know it. And fine, new game, new rules, you don’t owe me anything. That’s true.”

Verdance was laying out on a cot, her head throbbing. She groaned, reaching a hand to her stomach and feeling cotton against her fingertips. Her organs felt fragile underneath the sheet, fake sterile skin hiding the ugly truth of what had been done.

She was on fire.

“H-hey Mark, where are the painkillers?” Verdance choked out, sitting up slightly, making eye contact with a man in white uniform. She always got a sedater after a bad fight.

“Kid, after that loss we’re short on sponsors. The arena won’t pay out of pocket for anything unnecessary and the budget has been put into advertisement.”

“What about my boss? He-“

“He went out, told me to take care of you.”

“P-please, can’t you do somthi-“

“I told you.” He didn’t snap or yell, simply turned away back to his computer.

“I made the arena 23k in fights last night, there’s gotta be something-

“The money is in advertisements. I’m not going to apologize, you know how this goes. People fight.”

He smiled grimly, and Verdance looked past him, spotting the sealed bottle of painkillers beside his computer. They were for better fighters, who didn’t loose sponsors and didn’t need an apology.

“It’s just business.”

Verdance snapped back to reality, meeting Stars eyes.

“Not again.” Verdance murmured to herself, tail twitching. “Im not doing this again.”

“You are going to say sorry, or you’re going to die.”

Verdance pulled her axe

this is what power felt like. This was getting what you wanted, this was being in control

Why did it hurt so much?

-

"Then I'll die. But I won't let you take my life easily. Fighting's what you were always good at."

Dying. She's forgotten what it feels like to die. ||Blood flowing out of her, pooling all over...|| No. Star won't let Verdance be the first to take her life.

She watches Verdance- axe out, tail twitching. Is that what she looked like last game? So angry?

Pulling out her own axe, she lets her hand slide down the handle and into it's familiar grooves for the first time this game. If this is what Verdance wants, it's what she'll get.

-

“Yep, you’re going to die.” Verdance agreed, stepping forward. “Exactly the way you’d should have.”

Verdance threw her axe at Stars feet, feeling a satisfied twinge as it skidded to a stop near her boot. Verdance pulled a needle from her pocket with her tail, stabbing it violently into Stars ankle. She jumped back before Star could react

“You don’t deserve a fair fight or a duel.”

*and maybe then you’ll be sorry, writhing on the floor. Maybe the person with the antidote might deserve your sorry.*

Verdance pulled a vial full of golden liquid out of her pocket.

“An antidote to wither poison is hard to come by.” verdance mused. “So you might want to take this from me.”

She held it out to star, and then yanked it back.

“But first.” Verdance chided, gaze cold. “My sorry.”

Maybe Star was immune to the poison, then plan B of fight with axe was fine. But Verdance wanted to be in power now. She wanted to hold that antidote above stars head, her own little bottle of painkiller, and feel what it was to be strong.

Her heart hurt.

It hurt so much to do this. Is this what power was supposed to feel like?

-

Star drops to her knees, poison spreading throughout her body as she tries to hold herself up through the pain. She reaches for the golden vial before the other snatches it away.

It hurts.

Every inch of her is burning. A thousand times she refused to stop, a hundred times she pushed too far, ten times she left, and once she lost someone far too close to her.

But now she can't stop. It's Star's grave and she'll lay in it.

"You called me a coward. Now I think it describes you best."

She laughs dryly and coughs, it's so close to before. A mirror image twisted.

Gritting her teeth, she grabs an arrow from her quiver as pain wracks through her arm. Bringing it forward, she attempts to knock the bottle out of Verdance's hand. It doesn't work. Of course.

Star stares up into her eyes, glaring, sparking in the fire combing it's way through her body.

Does Verdance care? Star doesn't.

That's what she tells herself. That this doesn't hurt. The tear between them didn't split her heart in half. And she doesn't care.

Star doesn't owe Verdance anything.

-

Coward-

*No, I’m no coward, how dare she, how dare she call me a coward.|| I have fought people twice my size, I have bled out under the sun, I have shoved my own organs back in, fighting to live.|| I am a gladiator, and I am stronger than she will ever be.*

*“Oh verdance”* Foli whispered again, forcing her way back into Verdances head. *”you were never much of a gladiator.*”

No, that was a lie. Verdance was a gladiator, because if she wasn’t a gladiator she was nothing. And if she was nothing, then Star hadn’t done anything wrong by hurting her. And if Star hadn’t done anything wrong then Verdance was standing here killing an innocent when she has the cure right there in her hand.

“Star I’m sor-“ Verdance blurted, barking out a curse. “I-“

*you promised to never kill again. You swore..*

Verdance stared down at star, her broken, twisted, oh so stubborn mirror image.

She swallowed hard, and steeled her nerves.”

“I didn’t want you to die on this hill.” Verdance forced out.

She raised the vial higher, preparing to break it on the floor. She hesitated, letting Stars life, Verdances oath, hang in the air above her.

-

She didn't want Star to die on this hill. The hill. The one she built with the dirt while digging her own grave.

Verdance.

She didn't want to hurt Verdance. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

She isn't sorry. Verdance isn't sorry. No one is.

And it stays that way. Going around in circles- death and revenge and death again.

Pain radiates through Star's body. sending her even further to the floor. Just a couple minutes left to live. She breathes in, ragged and painful.

"I was right. You will be my downfall."

Quoting Verdance herself, she stares at the vial held above her head.

"Good luck forgetting this."

-

Verdance stared down at Star, forcing back the nausea burning in her gut. The vial shook in her hand, liquid salvation sloshing back and forth.

*I don’t need to be sorry.* Verdance thought, trying to steel her nerves. *its a death game, and never once had anyone stuck their neck out for me. I’ve been used, and hurt, and betrayed. And this time I’m going to stay angry.*

Verdance raised the bottle another inch, her chest rattling, tail quivering between her legs. She expected that fire in her gut to die. She expected the power to feel good. She wanted-

“Star I’m sorry!” Verdance blurted, and she dropped to her knees. She popped the vial open with her teeth, spitting the cap onto the ground. When Stars hands didn’t tighten around the gift, Verdance tilted her head back, gently coaxing the liquid into her mouth with shaking hands.

Tears bubbled in her eyes.

*Star was right, I am a coward*

-

Her heartbeat is slowing. Star can hear it in her head.

The world bubbles in her vision, whether it's the poison or tears... It's indistinguishable to her. Everything feels the same.

That radiating poison. Pushing it's way to her extremities and leaving nothing behind. Nothing but pain and hurt and anything but hope.

Verdance drops into her vision, three, five, seven versions of her spinning around. Her lips are moving but Star can't hear her. Can't seem to move her hands and grab the golden vial to save herself. She can't tell Verdance to stop when her head goes back and the warm liquid drips down her throat.

Hope. A taste of hope.

Then coughing. Spluttering, rasping, painful coughing. A spike of pain.

And nothing.

She sits there in Verdance's lap. Just breathing.

Now Star can see it's tears.

-

Verdance watched her tears, silent and still drip onto the sides of Stars face. Unconsciously Verdance wrapped her tail around Stars leg, squeezing tight, trying to anchor her to this world.

“I’m sorry.” Verdance sobbed, squeezing her eyes tight. “You’re right, I know you are. And you don’t owe me a thing, nobody does.”

Verdance caught a glimpse of her hand, that thick, burned in number in her palm. Exactly how many lives she’d taken, and how many sorries she owed the world. Star… Star did the world a service by bringing Verdance closer to what she deserved.

And all that death for what? To pay medical bills? To get her mother out of poverty? her brother still died, and her mother still left.

“I’ll go now, if thats what you want.” Verdance whispered, slowly unwrapping her tail from Stars leg. Her anchor was slipping and Verdance could feel the fall, quick and overwhelming.

She didn’t want to leave.

No, she couldn’t leave.

Verdance would rather die than walk out that door.

-

Staring up at Verdance, Star reaches up with shaking hands and wipes the tears off of her face.

"Don't cry"

She whispers the words, so small she's not even sure they're heard. Some part of her feels Verdance's tail leave and wants it to stay. The crazy part. But that's okay, isn't it? To want someone you can trust, even when everything else tells you it's a bad idea.

Pushing herself up, Star wipes her own tears, only able to see clearly for a second before they come welling back.

They're both sitting in the doorway, half inside, half out. Maybe it's a metaphor. One for what they've become. A halfway point. A marker for what can keep going. A heart ripped and sewn back together.

A way to stay.

-

Verdance looks at Star, sitting on her knees with drippy eyes. She wants to stay. She wants to keep this friendship and live a full life. She wants-

Verdance paused

She never got that sorry, and somthing deep inside her thought she deserved it

“Hey Star.” Verdance started, cautious and quiet. “Did… did you have anything you wanted to tell me?”

*please, please tell me*

Verdance had no idea why she was so stuck on this, but she needed it

Her closure.

-

Star tilts her head, slightly confused.

"No, why?"

What was Verdance looking for? An apology again? If so... she's not ready to yet.

Maybe someday she will.

But not now.

Either way, Verdance is with her now. So she should make the most of it, even if she just almost killed her.

,Star moves forward quickly, hugging Verdance and rocking them both, almost toppling over.

-

Why. Why, Star knew why, she knew what she did. And Verdance couldn’t stay here, as bad as she wanted to.

Verdance leaned into the hug, and then pulled back, getting to her feet.

“We’re still enemies.” Verdance said, keeping her voice stony. “You made that clear tonight.”

“But I’m no coward. If I kill you, you die like a warrior.”

That’s right, Verdance could put it off. She could come back another day, and that time she would follow through.

She… She was still a gladiator.

She was still worth somthing

-

She stands up too, brushing herself off. Makes sense. Star didn't apologize and now Verdance is leaving.

"Thank you Verdance. I'd be happy to fight another time. That- was horrid."

Next time she'll win. Without help.

-

When did it get like this? With Cael-

Verdance was in a cave, slowly trying to spark a fire to life. She glanced outside, anxiety clutching her chest in a vice. It wasn’t like she was the only yellow, but they were few now, and the reds seemed to only be getting more aggressive.

Verdance flicked her tail over her axe, ready to grab it if nessasarry. She still didn’t want to kill but…

*No, I will not kill* Verdance thought, watching the fire catch. *not unless…*

*No. I swore*

Her elf like ears pricked up, the sound of crunching leaves outside making her anxiety spike.

A pair of overall clad legs stood in front of the cave.

The rock in Verdance’s gut turned to a boulder, dragging her down, down to the deepest parts of her own hatred, her own anger.

*I still have apologized for it all.* Verdance swallowed hard, backing against the cave wall. *and I swear, I will not kill her.*

The tiny voice of doubt in the back of Verdances mind laughed

*then prepare to die, little gladiator*

-

Star is outside a cave. She's pretty sure Verdance is inside. Listening intently, she cringes as her foot falls onto a leaf and the crunch rings loudly throughout the forest.

*She has to know I'm coming, right?*

If Verdance is in there, she's aware of the threat now. Why put it off any longer? Star tightens her grip on her axe and enters fully. It's the sight she was expecting, Verdance backed against the wall with an unlit campfire in the middle.

"It's time to die, did you know that?"

-

Verdance stayed quiet, tail slowly dragging the axe towards herself. She stared Star down, unblinking. When Star took another step, Verdance sucked in a breath through her nose, fighting to keep her limbs from shaking.

“You’re one death away from the end.” Verdance said, her voice calm. “Do you want to die like this?”

A bluff, and a bad one too, but Verdance needed her to back down on her own.

Verdance stood, axe wrapped tightly in her tail. She gave a tradmark gladiator smile, sharp teeth bared.

She pulled down her bandaged wrist, showing off her branding scars, the number 82 imprinted in her palm.

“This isn’t counting creative life kills.” verdance said, her tail swishing the axe around her feet, metal scraping the ground. “And in the arena, I haven’t lost yet.”

-

"Hmm. Well maybe it's time someone took you down a notch, little miss high-and-mighty."

She's scared. Star's scared and she can't show it but it's there, making steadying herself on her axe a necessity to stop herself from shaking. She plays it off with a smile and the lurking fog in her brain pushes forward. If she kills Verdance, will it stop?

"If this is the way I go down, I'll be taking you with me. That ticking counter on your wrist won't move anymore and you will be *nothing* to anyone."

That last bit was for herself. Star can't help caring for Verdance, just a little bit.

She lunges towards the other, swinging her axe around towards her neck and aiming for the kill.

-

Verdance whipped her tail up like a scorion, the wooden handle of her axe blocking Stars blow. She felt the force of the impact reverberate against her shoulders and she winced, grabbing the axe with both hands.

*sloppy.* Verdance hissed, her blood starting to boil. She was back on the sand, nothing but a slave, or a royal, or *Foli* across from her. *boss would kill me for a display like that*

Verdance snarled, slamming into Star with handle of her axe. Star hit the cave wall, grunting in pain, and Verdance pressed harder, the handle pinning her to the stone.

“Down a notch?” Verdance scoffed, wrapping her tail around Stars anchor. “Nobody can take me down, because I was never up!”

She whipped Star to the ground, pulling her legs out from under her.

“I didn’t ask for this.”

“Any of this.”

-

Star gasps for air as she hits the ground, axe clattering out of her hand. She reaches over and grabs it again, rolling onto her back and kicking Verdance from the ground, hoping it would buy her enough time to recover.

Scrambling to standing she goes for Verdance's tail. That tail was the reason she was getting beat in the first place.

She grinds out words between gritted teeth; "You didn't ask for it, but it sure looks like you enjoy it"

Slicing at Verdance's swinging tail, Star tastes metal in her mouth and swallows quickly.

"So quick to fight..."

-

“Enjoyed it?” Verdance said, real hurt bubbling in her eyes in form of hot, sticky tears. She paused her assault, staring at Star. “Is that really what you think?”

Verdance rembered sitting in her and Stars shared room, both unable to sleep, and sharing stories of home. S-she remembered telling Star about her boss-Johnathan. How she had trained since 8 years old, how she was beat and neglected and *abused*.

Verdance felt a sudden rush of self hatred, and a sinking feeling that Star was right. Maybe she did like it, subconsciously. She liked to win, everyone did, and it was her life, her career. What was so wrong about that?

She was groomed. Manipulated.

But maybe somewhere in her soul, Verdance liked to kill.

-

"Yeah. Enjoy it."

The look of hurt on Verdance's face immediately makes her think about what Star'd said. Oh. She was told about this, a long time ago. Back when they could be friends.

But that was before, and Star can use anything she has at her disposal. Fights aren't just physical.

She sneers, starting to speak again.

"That look on your face when you fight. It's like you've been freed. Like a rat from a cage."

Maybe it's too much, but if it catches Verdance off guard, so be it.

-

Verdance stood, unmoving, her stomach churning like glass in a blender. She took a step back, shoulders dropped in defeat. That smile. That axe. That *victory*. It was all hers, and the way she ran through the arena, *killing* just to entertain, that was the behavior of an animal.

Doesnt human life have more value than that of a rat? Doesnt Star deserve the world, the chance that Verdance never got?

“I’m sorry Star.” Verdance said, slipping the axe back into her tail. “For all of it, and for whatever I did to ruin our friendship.”

Verdance hadn’t done anything. Her one mistake was expecting loyalty from Star, and from the world.

She raised her hands in a plea for peace.

-

"Oh you think it's your fault?"

She laughs, pointing her axe at the retreating Verdance's chest. Before her stands someone she recognizes, hands raised. She doesn't want to recognize her anymore. This way is better.

Bringing her axe back, Star taunts Verdance.

"Come on, let's see some of that fight again."

She smiles as she swings her axe at Verdance again, wanting to catch her quickly enough that she can't bring her axe back in time.

-

“I-I don’t have any fight now.” Verdance whispered. “I know I’ll win.”

Would Star take offense to that? Maybe. But Verdance refused to let her truth bury itself again.

If Star attacked, Verdance would *kill* her.

She smiled, a genuine, cracked grin.

“I want you to be happy, Star.” Verdance murmured. “And of course it’s my fault. It’s always my fault. My little brother, Foli, my own broken ribs and bruised, ankles, all me!”

She laughed, bitter and high. “And if you get near me, you’ll be my fault too.”

“I cant live with that.” Verdance paused, her cheeks sticky with tears. “So I guess you’re right. You go down, I go down with you.”

“But that means you’re killing both of us.”

-

"So be it."

It's what she wants. Right? Verdance dead. No regard for herself. Right.

She watches Verdance for just a second, just long enough to let the air grow stale.

"You look happy. Enjoy it."

Then Star springs. Jumping at Verdance again, Star watches her axe swing towards Verdance's head, missing by a centimeter.

-

Verdance rolled out of the way, using her whip like tail to throw her axe towards star. It imbedded itself in the rock behind stars head, chopping off one of her face framing bangs. Star cried out, and Verdance lunged, wrestling her to the ground with her two free hands.

*she wants this* Verdance thought, her blood roaring in her ear. They all wanted it, hadn’t they? Each of her opponents walked into the arena wanting to fight, and somehow Verdance was the evil one? If it was her body laying on the sand, and somebody else won, she would be the victim, and the misery would be all their fault.

was it such a crime to be good at what she was forced to do?

She drove her knee into Stars gut, teeth bared in a snarl. She would not grin now, and she refused to let Star think she enjoyed a moment of this torment.

-

Star winces and coughs as Verdance's knee pushes her against the floor. Looking up, she forces a smile.

"There you go... come on!"

She kicks up at Verdance rolling the tangle of them over. Star's hands pull up and move over to Verdance's throat, pushing hard as she struggles to stay on top.

*...I have to do this. I can't die. I just can't. Not like this. Not because of* ***Verdance****. So I have to live. I have to win.*

Tears well in Star's eyes but she blinks them away angrily, watching them fall onto Verdance. That rat won't feel free again.

-

Verdance gasped, trying to choke out words between Stars hands. This was it, life or death.

Verdance reached silently with her tail for her axe that had since clattered off the wall. She managed to get a grip on it, and forcing her eyes to lock on Star, she drew it up behind her assailant.

it would be so easy to kill star now, imbed the sharp blade into the back of her skull in one brutal crack.

*I don’t kill people-*

*and why the hell not? Nobody else in this entire sick world seems to have any morals.*

Verdance felt Stars nails draw blood, and in a desperate bid for freedom, she slammed the blunt end of her axe into Stars head.

She crumpled onto Verdance like a puppet with cut strings.

Verdance dropped the axe, shoving Stars limp form off of her.

*Oh gods, what have I done?*

Verdance didn’t even have time to check a pulse before Stars back arched, sputtering for words.

-

Star blinks. One moment, she's on top of Verdance, watching the life drain out of her. The next, she's face up on the floor, coughs wracking her body as her head pounds. Verdance is standing over her.

Did Verdance do this? Did that rat knock her out?

*Shit. The tail. How the hell could I forget the tail.*

She laughs spitefully, interrupted by coughing and gasping.

"Hey... Verdance... Unfair advant- advantage much?"

Pushing herself up onto her feet, Star looks up at Verdance and stumbles, falling towards her axe which lies on the floor.

Her hands close around it and she swings around, throwing it at the other.

Of course she'll fight to the bitter end. She has to survive so it won't *be* the end.

-

“Why do you want to die?” Verdance wailed, dodging the axe Star had haphazardly thrown at her. “Don’t you get it, I want to help you?”

*Unfair?* Verdance thought, catching Stars last nasty word. *Plenty of hybrids fight, nethrborns use fire, void walkers teleport, why shouldn’t I use my tail?*

“Maybe I’m using it to even the playing field.” Verdance said, her voice coming out mocking. “Considering you attacked me in the middle of the night with no morals or empathy.”

“You’re trying to kill me after everything I did for you!” Verdance cried, sounding like a whiny little girl again. “You cant even give me a sorry, or a hug, or or- a chance to see you without my head getting lopped off!”

-

"...Help me? Ohhh I'm so far past helping."

Her tears come back, and Star doesn't care enough to stop them. She stands for real this time, bracing herself on the cave wall.

"Everything you did for me. Haven't we already been through this? You did nothing for me. I have nothing to be sorry for. You are nothing to me. Nothing but a rat."

"But you already know that. So here's your *closure*"

She spits the word.

"My morals died the day I did. The day I was thrown into the Void for the first time. So you're right. That's what you wanted, hmm?"

Opening her arms, Star beckons Verdance in for a hug.

When Verdance doesn't move, she moves instead. Star walks slowly, unthreatning... or as unthreatening she could be, seeing as her own blood was dripping off her.

The second Star was close enough to grab Verdance's neck again, she did. She tried once again, one more time to kill the person who knew her best. Star tried once again to erase a life.

-

Verdance felt her tears bubble up again, easily ripping Stars hands from her neck. She held them as Star hissed and struggle, her red eyes blazing like hellfire.

*she hates me* Verdance relized, fresh pain hitting her like a boulder. Star hated her more than anything, and Verdance knew now, there was no saving her.

Verdance could die here, give Star what she wanted, but that wouldn’t be enough. Winning wouldn’t be enough.

No matter when it was, Star would die unhappy.

“Please.” Verdance begged one final time, holding Stars wrists firm as she kicked and fought

“Please, I don’t need a thing from you. Not a sorry or even one more look, just go.”

”live.”

-

"I won't."

What Star means is she can't. But she won't say that out loud. She has to finish the fight. Star has to win the fight.

She relies on Verdance holding Star's wrists tightly and jumps, swinging her body into the taller's and knocking them both down before kicking at Verdance's head. Star can't stop. She's gone too far.

-

Verandance feels a sharp heel connect with her head. She feels the last hope she had in Star break free as she is struck, and Verdance spins, jumping on Star, pinning her down with both hands. She stares into her eyes, red, empty.

Her friend is gone.

*She doesn’t think I’ll do it.* Verdance relized, feeling Stars muscles ripple against her hold

And she’s right. Verdance wouldn’t kill star. Nobody wants to kill a dog either. But when a dog goes rabid, you have no choice.

People say a lot of things to console a person who shoots that rabid dog. It was too far gone. It was going to hurt you. People invented a whole new phrase to absolve themselves of blame.

Pulling the trigger is a lot easier when your simply ‘putting somthing down’

So verdance steeled her nerves, pulled her hidden dagger with the tail Star hated so much, and plunged it into the others chest. Quick. Painless. Hardly a kill at all.

Is that what Verdance will have to tell herself to sleep at night? Maybe.

-

Star's eyes widen. It hurts so much she's numb. Verdance actually did it. Star didn't think she had it in her. Ha.

"You- You can't"

She can't get the words out right, they sound muffled. Like she's under water. The corners of Star's vision are starting to go black. It looks like the ending to a movie, staring up at Verdance... it's beautiful.

Maybe Star should apologize, for all she's done. Maybe it's her fault. Maybe she could've been better. Maybe- Maybe they could've stayed together.

But it isn't her fault, and Star didn't do anything wrong! She's just saying this for Verdance.

She's just saying it for Verdance...

"I-"

She chokes the words out between coughs that splatter red down her overalls

"I'm sorry."

Her eyes blur with tears. The colors in front of her mix together. Star can see Verdance moving, a shape that's quickly swallowed by the dark.

The dark. It's everywhere.

*Verdance...*

And then Star is gone.

-

Verdance stares down at the rabid dog as its eyes clear. It’s eyes… her eyes…

Oh nn what has she done?

“No, no no I didn’t mean it.” Verdance whispered, her voice raising. “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to, please star, I’m-“

I’m Sorry

“What-?” Verdance asked, staring down at star.

“What did you say?”

Verdance heard it.

Stars last word was sorry.

She yanked out her knife with a violent rip, throwing it against the cave wall. It clattered to the ground, forgotten.

Verdance let out a low, feral wail, pressing her forehead to Stars bloody chest, her lips pressing against warm, wet blood. It stained her face and dripped down her chin but she didn’t care, and right now verdance didn’t know if she would care ever again.

She screamed and cried herself sick, tail wrapping around Stars body in a desperate embrace.

Eventually, Verdance sucked in a breath, and stood, Stars body limp in her arms. Verdance set her gently against the cave wall, slowly undoing her hair. It hung limply off her head, sad and pitiful, so verdance braided it, and wove in flowers, and cried over the life she used to have.

when it was done, verdance looked at Star, more peaceful than she had ever been in life, and smiled. She stood, walking out of the cave, turning her face to the stars

Her star was gone now, and the rest would never look the same again.

-

Lost friends, lost love, and lost life. Solo RP

Verdance stared down at her muddy hands, knees sunk into the earth. Her cheeks were wet, and her eyes were dry, every tear gone. She had screamed and sobbed and snarled her plight to the heavens and she was out of hate for this horrible world.

Star wasn’t really buried here, but her memory was, and Verdance wanted to leave her there in the cave. Sitting up, her face slack and her hair braided and her fury drained Ike the color from her skin.

Instead Verdance laid a rock here, alongside Reggies headstone, Folis memorial, and astral final resting place. Each one verdance had loved.

She ran her hand over Stars stone, the mud smearing on the smooth surface.

Verdance had long dwelt on what words to engrave there. everyone else’s had been hard of course, but this was uniquely painful. Because to her, Star… Star wasn’t kind, nor good, and Verdance knew she would not rest in peace.

Eventually Verdance settled on three words.

“She died sorry”

Verdance got to her feet, brushing the mud from her pants. She stared up at the sky, crying a near endless stream of freezing rain. It stung in her cuts as it washed out the blood and slicked her hair back to her head.

She had made her little memorial to the dead on a cliffside, and a beautiful one too. Verdance liked to sit on the edge, watching her legs dangle down as small pebbles cascaded down into the river below. The sound of the river hid her sobs, and the cliffs edge was quiet.

Verdance had been living out here in her little impromptu camp since Reggies death. What had it been, one week? Two? She had lost count.

It didn’t matter. Verdance couldn’t go back to the basics base, not with astral gone. If verdance wanted to win, then soulless and the others had to die.

And verdance did want to win.

*Better not to make it hurt more than it had too.* Verdance thought as she carefully planned her attack on Crimson. *I have to win, for Reggie. For Star. For astral.*

And in a twisted sense, for deimi too.

Verdance squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the raindrops hit her eyelids. Deimi attacked *her*. Verdance was defending herself.

She defended so hard that when she let that axe swing, Deimis head was in the way. It plopped to the floor like a paperweight shoved from a desk, and those glossy eyes stared up at verdance, asking a silent question.

“What kind of monster are you”

*The kind that will survive.* Verdance hissed back at that rolling head. *A dog, thats what you were. A monster too, one without a soul like me.*

All of them were animals, and verdance needed to put them out of their misery. She alone would bear the survivors guilt on her shoulders, and if she needed to tear them apart to keep them from her fate, she would.

Today, Verdance decided to kill.

She took a step towards her camp, ready to grab her axe. And the floor rose up to meet her as she walked, going faster, faster as the earth swallowed her up. Verdance let out a pinched screech as her neck hit with a crack.

Then she woke up.

Gasping for air, she sat up from the bed, eyes wild. She scrambled outside, clutching her chest with both hands, the axe grasped in her tail.

“Deimi!” Verdance snarled, looking over the hole that had claimed her life. Only Deimi dug like that, hapazard, anxious, and messy.

Animals

Dead animals

No

Put down

Verdance huffed, all too aware of the half a heart etched into her unbranded wrist. She stepped back out to her memorial, stepping over Stars headstone to the edge off the cliff.

She bit the inside of her cheek lightly, staring down at Crimsons home.

If I go down the back-

Thunder crashed above her, the rain comming down in a torrent. Verdance gasped, staring wide eyed at the purple lighting bisecting the sky.

Task failed

Verdance knew it was coming. All of them would fail, and then Verdance would hack them down, each of the dogs sitting there on half a heart-

Half a heart-

Verdance felt a sharp pain in her chest, sudden and brutal. Her eyes stung and her knees buckled, forcing her into a bow there on the cliffside.

“N-NO!” She choked, pleading to the raging sky. “NO I CAN STILL WIN!”

Her body was tearing itself in two, and then three, and then a thousand little pieces as tendrils of watchers sickness ripped out from her fresh half heart.

*Deimi how could you do this to me?* Verdance thought, her arms collapsing under her. She was facedown in her makeshift graveyard, all of her failures crushing the life from her skull.

She tried for another plea, but her mouth had been frozen half open, her eyes slowly being covered in purple.

The rocks under her started to slip, and verdances last sensation was falling.

She didn’t live long enough to feel her body smash into the ground, and be carried down the churning river. Her body washed ashore, in front of what used to be Stars home.

In the end, Verdance died unhappy

-