Talk about what happened on Twitter 2 years ago in the RWBY community
This is a bit long, but and important message I wanted to write, and I hope this will help bring some peace to this old situation ♥
TW : harassment, shipping, toxic ship
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Hey, I've been thinking about whether or not it was a good idea to write this, but honestly I think it would do more good than anything to adress this one last time, for myself but also for the people involved in this situation 2 years ago
(note that english isn't my first language, so I apologize if I'm not clear enough sometimes)
For more context, in february 2024 I posted a thread on Twitter to talk publicly about a harassment wave in the RWBY community I faced at the time 6 months prior to this. Now I know it's 2 years old and I really don't mean to twist the knive in the wound, but I really regret the way I handled a lot of things back then, and the way I spoke about it so I wanted to express my clear thoughts on this
First of all I just wanted to apologize for what I consider I did wrong at the time : while I tried to defend myself, I acknowledge some of the emotional and irresponsible reactions I had, when I should have stayed distant to evaluate the situation and talk properly.
One of the biggest issue in my thread at the time is how I mixed up different topics and caused harm to someone who had nothing to do with the whole harassment story.
I talked about the situation with a specific person in the thread, I reached out to them months after the situation in september 2024 so we could talk and sort out things together, and things are really in good terms between us now. I'm not gonna mention them because I don't want to bring attention to them again, I have their autorisation to talk about this and set things good publicly as well, because after the thread I really never adressed this whole situation again
What happened with this person, with who I was mutual and on good terms, is that when I was already in an emotional state of mind and under pressure because of the harassment situation (even tho that's not an excuse), I saw they followed a few of the people who were stalking me and spreading rumors and I assumed they were with the group without knowing if that was actually the case. I felt really bad and instead of asking them their stance on this to confirm my thoughts, I sent them a goodbye message in private to tell them why I felt uncomfortable and blocked them immediately, preventing them to be able to answer me. Now I see how unfair and cowardly it is to do this instead of real talking, and how things could have been better if I took the time to see what they had to say. But at the time I never let them the chance to defend themselves, and I went too far with this move to send this message when we were barely online acquaintances.
After they shared this private message on their account and talked about it publicly (someone told me about it because I had them blocked at the time), I felt like I had to defend myself, and then talked about the situation with this person in the same thread about the harassment. So people probably believed this person was associated with it. This person had to face harassment as well when this was more of a personal issue, and they had nothing to do with the people who were causing me trouble. And I understand the people who reached out to me in private to defend them, at the time I was just focusing on trying to get through the whole situation which was really messed up. And I want to apologize properly again to them, and their loved ones for what happened because that was a dumb move that had more to do with my own personal issues and behaviors than anything else
Now about the harassment : at the time I followed an artist among others in the RWBY community, who ended up drawing a specific ship that some of people felt uncomfortable with (an alternative universe ship set in the future of Ruby and Neo). People accused me of being a « bad person » because I defended this artist against harassment they were facing because of that ship. By extension people started to say I was also problematic and stalked me
I regret I never expressed myself with enough clarity on this topic because this is such a complex subject, especially when it's about a ship set up in a grey zone and no one can actually agree about how they feel on it. I hate that people thought I liked and supported this ship, but I also can understand how confusing this was because I really never thought about it enough at the time. It may seem a bit immature but I realize now how much I was caught in the hype of recently gaining a big audience for my art after years of posting online, it felt like a bit surreal and I wanted to feel included in the community with other artists. So when I saw the harassment I kinda jumped on the rush of protecting someone and « doing the right thing » (kinda Jaune coded from V9 in fact), without actually considering the whole situation. Basically I got myself involved in something I had nothing to do with and never cared about, and had actually no reason to react to
Because the thing is that some time has passed ever since this whole situation, but I really DO feel uncomfortable by this dynamic and it's definitely not a ship I like at all. That was already the case before but now, as I grew up and even more after rewatching Volume 9 recently, I honestly don't understand it at all and I can completely see and understand why so much people felt bad and uncomfortable with it because I do as well. It's something that is not giving me good vibes, but I think even tho that was already the case in 2024 I probably decided to ignore this because I liked the artstyle of this artist and never thought more about it, never went deeper on the issue
If that happened again I would definitely think twice and stay distant before saying anything. I should have taken some time to evaluate things properly and understand everything, especially about a situation I don't even want to defend.
Now I have to precise something : I'm against harassment, I do understand why people do justice themselves and handle things their way in this fucked up system where criminals and p3dophiles are free to commit atrocities and justice do nothing, unfortunately I have a good experience of this in my personal life and would be one of the first to throw hands at these kind of people. But I think the way people roast others based on rumors, misinformation or personal discomfort instead of literal crimes on social medias is pretty terrifying, which is why I reacted at the time. Because I felt uncomfortable with the ship but I thought I didn't have the right to act like pure moral defender and act so brutally.
I meant to stand up against people harassing an artist because I thought this was not the way to go, not to defend something I personally felt uncomfortable with (even tho I diminished this at the time because I lacked maturity). This is so clear in my head but so hard to explain for some reason :') But again I get how confusing that was because I acted openly very friendly toward this artist, parasocial even I would say, and this was obviously way too much
Another thing in my thread that was fucked up was mentioning the names of the people stalking me. Even if their accounts was already public, I should have known having such a large audience (5000+ followers) was gonna lead to them being harassed in return and that's what happened. I naively thought people would be more reasonable but they ended up doing the same thing and it just made things worse. Even tho I was angry because of the situation and the rumors spread, I never meant to bring more harm to people, some of them being underaged, but it still happened anyway and I'm sorry.
In retrospective I know I meant well but I still handled things in a pretty chaotic way. It impacted a lot of people and it was so unnecessary. I know I meant to protect myself, the only good thing I can get from that situation is that it helped me realize some behaviors and thoughts I needed to change to do better. Because it impacted me irl as well and I blocked one of my closest irl friend over this situation when I should have waited and calmed down so it would be possible to talk properly about all that. It can't be undone and it hurts a lot but at least I know what to do now
A few days after I posted the thread I lost my childhood cat brutally and was just shocked so I moved my focus on grieving him and trying to feel better. It took me months and then I tried to finish my master's degree and get some time to feel better, so I only adress this situation again now. I had time to move on, reflect and think about it enough, it may feel late and maybe weird but I still think about it a lot and honestly need a release, and I think it's the right thing to do for everyone hurt as well
Anyway, this was very long but necessary to me, all I can say now is that I take accountability to what I did wrong, and I understand why people felt confused and defensive about all that. Again I apologize for this whole situation and would love to leave it behind me now. This was messed up, rushed, unclear, and also very weird of me to take position in something I'm not related and feeling bad about. Obviously if you know the artist I'm talking about this is NOT an invitation to harass them either, I wish no harm to them but I don't want to be associated to their art at all
If I ever do fanarts again and they gain traction like they did during V9, I will be careful to act with more maturity and clarity online. I only want to focus about the only true ship of my heart in any case (Nuts and Dolts), it's my safe bubble and I hope others can enjoy it as well
Even tho it was painful I think I grew from it and I'm glad I'm not in the same position I was 2 years ago. I never thought of myself as a perfect person but would like to do my best to do good
I wish you all well and hope this will help bring a better closure to this
♥
Étincelle (who might very soon change name so stay tuned)
