True Enough For You, Again

My crippling dual addictions to constant visual stimulation and sitting on my couch ensured that my year in television was quite full. That television is better than it’s ever been with more shows and platforms than ever from which to choose ensured that it was also quite fulfilling.

Here’s a quick rundown of my Top 15 shows and some other notables.

1. Breaking Bad- Best final season of a television show ever, even if it didn’t have the best finale. Storytelling at a new level that rewarded loyal viewers.

2. The Good Wife- “Hitting the Fan” was television’s best episode, and no show has a deeper bench of characters or better writers.

3. Orange is the New Black- Netflix’s least publicized show was also its best. Television’s best accidental meditation on gender, race, sexuality, and the nature of crime and punishment.

4. Please Like Me- A perfect, awkward, 6-episode gem about an Australian’s coming out and handling his crazy family. With clumsy hookups, first dates, tough conversations with friends, it’s kind of like Girls if you were rooting FOR the characters to succeed.

5. Orphan Black- Tatiana Maslany gave television’s best 7 performances as a set of clones, sometimes as one clone pretending to be another clone, pretending to be another clone. The real surprise was that the rest of the cast was pretty great, and the story was super compelling.

6. Parks and Rec- It’s not quite the halcyon days of Season 3, but Ben and Leslie’s wedding and Ron Swanson's wedding were so wonderful, and the show still makes me incredibly happy. 

7. Happy Endings- Gone too soon, my precious angel. I still consider myself the odd Jane/Max mash-up, and either way I’d be welcome at Club Tush. 

8. Enlightened- At least we, and Amy Jellicoe, got the ending we deserved for this cancelled mini-masterpiece. I’m only inclined to forgive HBO because this show taught me that so many people try to do the right thing, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.

9. Broadchurch- Murder in a British small town is basically its own genre now, but this show had me guessing until the last episode and then wishing I were wrong once I figured things out.

10. Black Mirror- Scarily prescient modern Twilight Zone the employs all your favorite British actors. (I think there are only 50 total, and they rotate from show to show.) I wish they used Friends-style episode title scheme if only to see “The One Where the Prime Minister Might Have to Fuck a Pig.”

11. Top of the Lake- If the Lord of the Rings made you want to visit New Zealand, Top of the Lake will help cure you of that. Men are awful, Elisabeth Moss is awesome, and paradise is never what it seems. 

12. Mad Men- It’s still the best show to sit back an analyze, but Season 6 was nowhere near as good as the previous 5. It still has some of the best performances on tv though. I'm excited to see what the last seasons bring.

13. Game of Thrones- Like the books, hours of endless exposition are punctuated with awesome moments you can’t stop talking about. Also: best excuse ever not to attend future weddings.

14. Veep- Season 2 felt more like a sitcom than a one-liner factory. JLD continues to be the best, but the ensemble has been getting stronger and more fun to watch. Sue, did the President call?

15. New Girl- Had I made this list before May, this show would have been in my Top 5. The first half of the new season, however, has been oddly erratic and subpar. Am I rooting for Nick and Jess? What is Winston’s deal? And why is everyone screaming? (Not really. No clue. Loud does not equal funny.)

Other Notable Feelings: 

Arrested Development- We were all rooting for you, and while you were clever and intricately plotted like no other show, I needed to laugh more. You’re still my favorite show of all time, though.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine- This show has been hilarious from the beginning, and shows the most promise to fill the spot in my heart that Happy Endings and Enlightened left vacant.

30 Rock- Television’s funniest comedy, after going out on its own terms, isn’t on my top list only because it’s already entered the Hall of Fame of My Flerm.

Scandal- This show helps draw the line between compulsively watchable and good, and then jumps over it with great force.

House of Cards- This is a very serious show about politicians and journalists who do a lot things for some reason or another, and then sneer and laugh maniacally amidst gorgeous lighting. But somewhere around the ham that Kevin Spacey was serving were really wonderful performances by Robin Wright and Corey Stoll.

Coming Out is such a deeply personal process that is difficult to understand for anyone who hasn’t gone through it. Even in the most supportive circumstances, it can be a harrowing path to navigate. I knew when I came out to friends and my relatively conservative family, I was risking losing everything that mattered to me: their love and support. In the end, I couldn’t have been more wrong about being afraid. I was embraced by friends and never felt unloved by family. I was lucky. 

Coming Out should happen when you’re ready, and only when you’re ready. NO ONE else should make that decision for you. Personally, besides trying to keep things as clandestine as possible (despite my lisp, my penchant for dressing well, and my years spent in the tenor section of multiple choruses), I did a couple things to make sure that I was able to come out at my leisure, after I had processed all the emotions and consequences for myself. 

Here are some tips and examples of how I made Coming Out easier for me:

-       I avoided taking a stand against marriage equality.

-       I didn’t vote against repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

-       I didn’t oppose rights for same-sex bi-national couples.

-       I didn’t say I would vote against ENDA.

-       I never garnered an almost impressive 0 score for LGBT support from the HRC.

-       I never gained a position of power and stood in the way of progress for my community. 

In short, I never publicly made myself a target for a witch-hunt that would leave countless disenfranchised gays cackling with glee at the suggestion I could be gay.

And that helped a lot.

My year in reading was full. Goodreads tells me that I read 47 books, and whether it’s because authors are really bringing it or because of my discriminating taste in book selections, I was rarely disappointed. And any disappointment I felt was usually the product of a book’s unfair failure to live up to its hype.

I selected my 10 favorite reading experiences of the year, knowing full well that all these books were not necessarily published this year. Themes emerged: turns out 2013 was the year I really responded to coming of age novels, and I enjoy strains of LGBT stories weaved through plots. In no particular order, I loved:

Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple. A hilarious satire, it was also a heartbreaking and devastatingly serious book. It’s a meditation on the paralysis that results when we are not allowed to do what we’re meant to do and how an artist will fall apart if she doesn't produce art. It’s about mothers and daughters, and fathers and daughters, and fathers and mothers – how do these relationships work, and what defeats them even when everyone has the best intentions? Before Bernadette, I hadn't read a book in a long time that moved me AND made me laugh and smile so much in equal measure.

The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer. This book examined friendships as living organisms that shift shapes and serve different purposes over decades. It also observes identity through the lens of our natural strengths and weaknesses as children, and whether any of that matters as we age. Bonus: On the surface, of the group of gifted and talented children we meet, only some pan out and reach what they perceive to be their potential. This book makes you think about what living up to expectations means.

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. This is the sprawling, Dickensian tale of one Theodore Decker’s upbringing and how it gets flipped-turned-upside-down. This book actually lives up to the hype. It could have been just another book about a boy making his way through New York, but the novel comes alive when the action moves to a Las Vegas suburb in the middle of the desert where we meet Boris, Theo’s friend, and my favorite character that I read this year.

The Circle by Dave Eggers. An ambitious woman begins working as a tech conglomerate (think Twitter, Facebook and Google combined) and begins to realize that things are not all that they appear to be. Or maybe she doesn't? I'm not exactly sure, but it doesn't matter! This book is ridiculous, but it’s highly entertaining and does make you think about the scary part social media technology plays in your life.

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker. When you navigate your teenage years, you think the world revolves around you. In this novel, as a young woman negotiates the initial twists and turns of adulthood, the world's rotation starts to decelerate. The dual threads of coming of age and light science fiction meld perfectly in a tender, ponderous story. Pairs well with Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt where a young woman comes of age and tries to keep the memory of her recently deceased, gay uncle alive.

The Starboard Sea by Amber Dermont. A sailing prodigy switches boarding schools because of a traumatic, secret incident at his previous school. When a horrible fate befalls a female friend of his, he sets out to solve the mystery. Oh, and the whole time, he’s trying to figure out his own sexuality. He’s got a lot on his plate, but this lovely book never veers into the melodramatic.

Best American Nonrequired Reading of 2013 edited by Dave Eggers.  Every year since 2002, Dave Eggers gathers a group of students to select the year’s best writing, including fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and comics, published in American periodicals. And every year this ends up being one of my very favorite books of the year.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I didn’t want to read a book about teens with cancer. I certainly didn’t want to read a book full of cool ( ! ) teenage dialogue. I dug in once the hype for the book became too loud to ignore, and I’m glad I did. Somehow this book about living while perilously close to dying never gets too maudlin or overly cute. There are unexpected twists and turns, even as you careen headlong toward the heartbreaking conclusion. I mean, it IS a book about teens with cancer.

Dancer from the Dance by Andrew Holleran. Originally published in the 1970s, the novel is a meandering snapshot of the emergence of an American gay subculture. Men search for drugs, places to dance, and occasionally, for love. Full of gorgeous phrases, it’s striking how relevant the book remains today. I’d recommend reading it with this year’s clever, modern version of the book, Very Recent History by Choire Sicha.

I'm resolving to write more (than 140 characters at a time.)

I'm reviving this tumblr again mainly as a home for some of my thoughts that extend beyond tweet-length and as a place where I can make positive recommendations about things I enjoy and think you should/might too. 

My guess is that around here a reader will eventually find posts about pop culture of all kinds, sports, LGBT issues, food, and the literary world. Also: handsome gentlemen, running, and handsome gentlemen who run. 

I'm going to try my best to keep things positive, but I hope you wouldn't find the occasional rant gauche or outlandish. 

It's possible that no one will read this at all. I can't believe you're reading this right now, actually. Who are you?

Who is any of us, really?