#schocking developments

Coming Out is such a deeply personal process that is difficult to understand for anyone who hasn’t gone through it. Even in the most supportive circumstances, it can be a harrowing path to navigate. I knew when I came out to friends and my relatively conservative family, I was risking losing everything that mattered to me: their love and support. In the end, I couldn’t have been more wrong about being afraid. I was embraced by friends and never felt unloved by family. I was lucky. 

Coming Out should happen when you’re ready, and only when you’re ready. NO ONE else should make that decision for you. Personally, besides trying to keep things as clandestine as possible (despite my lisp, my penchant for dressing well, and my years spent in the tenor section of multiple choruses), I did a couple things to make sure that I was able to come out at my leisure, after I had processed all the emotions and consequences for myself. 

Here are some tips and examples of how I made Coming Out easier for me:

-       I avoided taking a stand against marriage equality.

-       I didn’t vote against repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

-       I didn’t oppose rights for same-sex bi-national couples.

-       I didn’t say I would vote against ENDA.

-       I never garnered an almost impressive 0 score for LGBT support from the HRC.

-       I never gained a position of power and stood in the way of progress for my community. 

In short, I never publicly made myself a target for a witch-hunt that would leave countless disenfranchised gays cackling with glee at the suggestion I could be gay.

And that helped a lot.