right eyebrow: does yoga, is popular, goes to harvard left eyebrow: is a procrastinator, stays up till 4am each night

oK

I hate being so sensitive. I hate being able to detect the slightest change in the way people message me, or talk to me, or look at me. I hate overthinking about it for the whole night. I hate when I can feel someone is slowly losing interest in me.

me: *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care but, 

turning off auto-capitalization on my phone because it doesn’t meet my chill ass down to earth aesthetic

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

Your brother is the best

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

why do guys look so hot when they drive

cos we’re too stupid to work the air conditioning