mop

1. My original post was talking about the ways I watched my mother get harassed for bringing toddlers to *the grocery store.* Jumping to "omg so you think kids should be allowed in BARS?!" is a hell of a stretch.

This kind of response to things I say about sex work, which isn't always phrased like this but almost always focuses on me being male or a man or my pronouns, shows a fundamental misunderstanding of why mansplaining is bad.

I am a sex worker. I have been for a decade. The majority of people I know are sex workers and I'm embedded in sex worker community. I started before 18 and have done it in brothels, cars, my own home, clients' homes, saunas, and hotels.

Hart was on testosterone, legally changed his name, and had gotten a hysterectomy (that was described as "unfortunate" by the Right to Privacy gay and lesbian political action committee), making him the first documented trans man to transition in the USA, yet he was characterized as a lesbian woman because cis gays and lesbians had the nerve (when do they NOT have the nerve, dare I say) to think they had the right to "honor [his] life as a woman" by having fundraiser dinners with his deadname attached to them, having college lectures where they talked about him as a lesbian hero, and using she pronouns for him until 2000. The USAmerican trans community, including trans activist Lou Sullivan, had to fight to defend Hart's identity and to have his manhood recognized by the wider community by protesting these lectures and dinners and having a conversation with the Portland chapter of the Lesbian Avengers association, which ended up having a favorable response and joining the trans community in the battle.

I want to end this by reporting the words of Candice Hellen Brown, a trans woman from Portland who wrote a letter to Just Out magazine in 1994 defending Hart's transness:

The Right to Privacy Political Action Committee in Oregon has a big fundraiser every year that is called the [deadname] Hart Dinner. When asked if I am going, I indignantly answer, "Not until they stop using the wrong name and gender for one of our heroes!" His name is Alan [. . .] He never wavered from his identity as a man, and upon his death, his widow continued to insist that he was a man. Why would such a straight man be called a lesbian by the gay community when today we would certainly call him a female-to-male transsexual? [. . .] He was transsexual or, at least, a transgenderist - a true pioneer. One who is seen as a hero by today's transsexual community. Please don't let him be taken away from us by allowing his old name to be used as though it were a badge of honor.

i recently experienced some pretty severe transphobic abuse in my workplace (children’s home) that included having food thrown at me, being called slurs, being told i was a pervert because i am trans. one of the managers talked with me afterwards and shared that he had had a similar experience as an Asian man. this wasn’t him derailing my experience, or talking over me, or making things about himself. he was communicating “hey, i know how it feels and how much it sucks. you’re not alone.”

THAT is what solidarity IS. i don’t know what it’s like to be Asian, he doesnt know what it’s like to be trans, but we both had a similar experience and we were able to turn a horrible experience into an opportunity for bonding and comfort.