Queer. Alt Model. Indie Games/Comics. Witch.

In 2014, when Ferguson happened it revealed the truth of how a lot of my teachers, childhood friends, and friends' parents felt about Black people. It was not a positive experience.

Imagine everyone you've grown up with, your teachers, your friends' parents all suddenly announcing their disgust & distain towards Black people. Yes this happened. This was real life .

That kind of whiplash is INCREDIBLY fucked up. These are people you've spent your entire life with, learned from, related to -- or so you thought.

This was next levellll fucked up, and something to be mourned. Something so sickening to witness, and feel you'd been part of.

In receiving the reality, you mourn your prior false perception. These were the people who created your reality for most of your life.

There is a lot to unpack there. And I have taken that time to do so.

By the time I found out about JKR's atrocities, the receipts were IN, case was closed. Similarly, It hit HARD. I felt..gross. Angry. This wasn't our pre-constructed reality. This was our chosen reality. Someone we entrusted with ourselves. There are some of us who truly lived at Hogwarts. I just hope everyone has actually grieved in their own way.

Just how I had to ACTUALLY PROCESS learning my closest friends' parents were literal racists, that my teachers were racist, that my girl scout leaders were racist --that the people who created my reality we racist, we have to actually process the legitimate hurt we feel. No it is not silly, or "not real" or undignified or strange. Two things can be true at once. Yes, we can not know someone personally, give them our trust and our hearts, be involved in their creation, and feel pain at their actions. Changes in perception take processing and moving through your mind and body. Idk what else to say. This is it right here.

We are human beings who devoted huge parts of our lives to this person, their creation, making it ours and be-ing there. That is a lot of energy. Feeling shock is real. If you are suffering over this, and embarrassed to say so -- I hope you find the person or therapist you can talk to about how your feelings about JKRs betrayal are completely valid. Just how the betrayal of my reality, and how I felt was completely valid.