HI :)

A cough is just a crunchy breath

THIS is the best post ever. 

THIS.

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

Parks and Rec is always real.

I legitimately laughed, out loud, involuntarily. I love this post so much.

If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s

I’m just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.

did she really confuse cannibals with cannon balls

i just watched this five times in a row

The kid doing the Obama impersonation (cameron) is literally our senior class president. He won by doing his entire speech in Obama’s voice I shit you not.

reblog for those who’d wondered if he’d won

i need to meet their parents.

i dont get why people say ‘tea is just leaf water’ and then act like coffee’s so great like what do u think you’re drinking. bean water is what