I'm that bitch who loves aliens too much

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

No. A lot of women don’t go to cosmetology classes to learn how to do hair, they have the experience from growing up-their mom doing their hair, Then experimenting which what they can do themselves. This guy probably had short hair his entire life with no clue on what to do. He didn’t just look up how to do a ponytail, he paid for actual classes so that he could do his little daughters hair in cool and creative ways so that SHE gets the learning experience and learns how to do it her own and then can go to school with fabulous. This is A+ daddy right here, he went above and beyond because he knows that he lack in certain areas where a mom would pick this up. Please don’t destroy nice things that men do simply because they are men and you want to hate them.

gay people be having badly painted black nail polish

Honestly Venom is more polite than I am and that’s saying something because bitch fucking eats people okay

Wish I was born with super powers instead of bad eyesight and big titties.

Ass? Flat. Pussy? Fat. Shit? Shat. Done? That.