Grieving Around Leaches
The last year I realized I’ve been surrounded by leaches, liars and opportunists. The only pure thing in my life was my mom and my children. My mom passed away, revealing how much most the people I trusted and loved truly hated me. They only faked the love because of the proximity to my mother. Her kindness was mystical, and they knew that the only way to harness that goodness, was to include and not isolate me because she loved me soooo much. Since she died, these said people (relatives & friends alike) have shown just how hateful, corrupt and even jealous people can be… unsolicited - no real reason to speak of. My mother’s brother manipulated my mother’s church into giving him almost $1000. While leaving my me and my mother’s other two daughters out in the cold. We didn’t get a single dime. He manipulated the use of a GoFundMe account, and placed it in my name, knowing that it would gain traction if others saw my name on it as opposed to his. He even went as far as to mention that the dress that I choose for my mother’s viewing was not “good enough” because according to him and his wife “people don’t ever get buried in patterned clothing” (my mom’s favorite pattern was cheetah — animal prints). Side note: my mother was to be cremated, not buried…so she could’ve even been in some jeans and a tshirt and it wouldn’t matter.
He also lied to my mother’s church about who and what the money would be used for, so they would give him the money in a hurry. I made many suggestions, as I was the ONLY family member that physically cared for, lived with and even supported my mother, bother financially and emotionally.
She literally died in my arms, as my mom was living with me in New York for 6 months before her passing. No one (not even this uncle did anything to help, aside from sending a 12-pack of coconut water once to her home). Doctors appointments, co-pay, medication, therapy, everything because my responsibility. And I got ABSOLUTEY NO help from my other siblings and neither did I receive help from my mother’s siblings (which would include her brother, I previously mentioned).
I am working through my grief, my loss and the rude awakening I’ve had to endure. Granted it’s so much harder to do than to say. But I say all that to say: be mindful of the people you allow in your life (even “family”). A lot of people don’t have your best interest and not only that, but they’ll never be satisfied with what they have. And you being happy with the smallest amount will be a trigger to those same hateful hearts. Trust yourself, and your intuition…
