oh, we nicked him.

I already know how this is going to go down.

You’re all ‘grrr’ about Christmas right now, right? I bet on your way home tonight, you’ll come across Jack and Crutchie (they’re my friends, in case you didn’t know) and you’re going to be like, really mean to Crutchie. And then tomorrow night you’re going to go to sleep and three ghosts are going to visit you and they’ll show you a montage and teach you the true meaning of Christmas and then you’ll wake up a reformed human and buy Crutchie a turkey and he’s going to say ‘God bless us everyone!’

Man, this eggnog is really working on me.

Did ya’ really just go through basically the whole plot for A Christmas Carol? Because considering I’m real broke, this whole outcome would be very different.

Ya’ ain’t very good with alcohol, are ya’?

Jeez, you folks really want me to like people. Well I guess I do ‘actually genuinely’ like Killian, obviously. Or is that considered cheating? Mal’s not bad, and I guess the gup ain’t awful either. I’ve grown more tolerable to Joy, so I guess she can make the list as well.

I’d rather she not, but I guess there’s worse things in the world than little miss sunshine.

If that’s what ya’ve gathered about me, then clearly ya’ haven’t been paying attention.

Harry: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAVE THE BESTEST DAY FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS AND TONS OF FUN!! ENJOY YOUR DAY!!

Harry: Joy stole my phone.

If you can slip when standing still you’re a doofus.

Three year olds are brutal.

Maybe I was pushed into slipping? Three year olds can be, yeah. Which was my point.

You just said you slipped. You’re a big lying liar pants with poop on top.

I said I don’t slip when running, I can still slip when not running. Do you get your insults from kids shows, because wow... I’ve heard better from three year olds.

You seem like the kind of dude who runs by the side of the pool. In a bad way. This is an insult.

Eh, I don’t slip so who cares if I run? You could use some work on your insults though.

SPLISH SPLASH YOU’RE TRASH

‘T was all accidental, can’t help it when I just slip.