still not ginger

I don't want to think about all the dirty conversations. I don't want to think about how you used me as a distraction. I don't want to be reminded of how it always ends with me getting hurt. I don't want to think about how you said sorry so much the word lost all meaning coming from you. I don't want to think about how the one person I put all my trust in could just kick me to the side like a piece of garbage and just say oops, I didn't think that would hurt. I don't want to think about how you so easily chose her over me like you were planning on it all along. I don't want to have these fond memories of our friendship tainted by negative feelings of being used and meaning nothing to you. And yet, here I am.