i think something millennials sometimes forget or simply can’t fathom is that we didn’t grow up on digital algorithms. we grew up on social media that we had to curate because otherwise social media wouldn’t be fun. we got to learn that what’s on our feed is our responsibility.
i don’t think gen z and gen alpha had that opportunity. they grew up on algorithms. they grew up thinking that whatever is being shown to them is being shown to them because they want to see it, whether or not they consented to see it. they’re being manipulated, brainwashed, and gaslit into thinking that everything they experience is because they wanted it.
so when they see something upsetting, their first instinct isn’t to remove themselves from the content but to tell a creator that it made them uncomfortable. to us it seems like entitlement. but broadly speaking, i don’t think gen z and gen alpha believe they are being entitled when they’re doing that. i think what’s happening is that because they grew up on algorithms, they trust algorithms to always get it right. so if they see something upsetting, they believe it’s the creators fault — not some intangible algorithm.
even when a site doesn’t use algorithms, they expect the experience to be the same — look at the twitter migration as an example. i love that tumblr adults have been putting out posts to teach kids that tumblr will not spoon feed them and they will have to curate their dash. i don’t think a lot of social media platforms have that kind of culture.
remember — we’re talking about children who do not yet have the tools to recognize manipulation, much less to deal with manipulation. we can’t expect them to act rationally in a situation where even millennials struggle to be rational. the digital space has become so hard to navigate in an ethical way, regardless of your age.
yes, it’s up to caretakers to teach their kids how to be safe online. i think it’s also up to adults to make sure that their content is being accessed by the appropriate audience. yes, tags, labels, and warnings are one way to do that. but as millennials i think we need to find ways to enforce our age-limit boundaries outside of the ways social media platforms have set up for us. that’s passive moderation that protects users and the social media platform.
i think it’s our individual responsibility to find ways to actively moderate our corner of the digital space. i don’t have a solution other than putting in the work to check in once in a while, but there might be other ways.
i kind of see the adult digital space as an open door with a sign that says “minors do not enter”. the sign accomplishes passive moderation. but open doors with flimsy signs are easy to ignore when you have the curiosity of a child. it’s almost more inviting.
if we notice a minor has ignored the sign and entered the space, it’s now our responsibility to actively moderate the space. i’d ask questions like hey, how did you get here? do you have an adult to come get you? why did you ignore the sign? i’d listen to their answers. i’d explain that hey, your curiosity is okay and normal but this space is not safe kids. because this is my space, we have to follow my rules — just like how in your space, people have to follow your rules. one of my rules is that minors can’t be here. not because your age is inherently bad, but because i’m uncomfortable with exposing this space to you.
i think it’s our responsibility to have this conversation. it’s uncomfortable and it’s hard, but millennials have the tools to deal with uncomfortable conversations. and i think it’s really important to stress that a minor’s curiosity about the world is not a bad thing and that their age is not a bad thing. i really think that language is important because their curiosity is in their control, whereas their age is something out of their control. but neither of those things are inherently bad. i think if we use language that sounds like their age is to blame, we encourage kids to grow up too fast.
when they hear if only you weren’t a minor (your age is to blame), they respond with act older (i can control my behaviour but not my age). even dni’s that say “minors do not interact” make it sound like being a minor is a bad thing. i don’t want this! i want kids to experience their childhood for as long as they possibly can. i don’t want them to think of their youth as a barrier. but i can’t control that.
i can control what i say though. and by stating facts like i’m uncomfortable with exposing this content to someone your age, you shift blame to your discomfort, not their age. you also teach them about boundaries, that adults should be uncomfortable with exposing adult content to them, and to experience what it’s like to be asked to leave. i think those are all really important lessons.
i think dni’s related to minors should also shift their language and instead say this is an adult space for people over the age of 18. almost like a do interact?
i don’t have these ideas thoroughly sorted but just had thoughts about intergenerational communication and how we can end the trauma of boomers and gen x with us, not with gen z. i want millennials to be better than that.
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