Well when she stood up I asked "Baby, why are you crying?"
she said "Because he's cute, and he's down there and he's dying"
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@itsastrangethingbeinghuman
Well when she stood up I asked "Baby, why are you crying?"
she said "Because he's cute, and he's down there and he's dying"

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I'll just go ahead an bookmark papajohns.com on my computer. That way they'll send me a handgun with my free pizza I just earned with papa johns points.
"Where are you right now?" "Hell, if I believed in it" "Well you're just going to find a way to make yourself miserable no matter what" I Have a lot in Common With My Uncle Who Killed Himself
Fucking sick beyond belief of not being good enough. Also fucking sick of how much that bothers me.

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking you’re a great person, you look good and you rule at things. Fucking cheer up.
A spider's web was torn to bits. Her home collapsed in seizing fits. I empathized with her hardships, Condolences fell from my lips. She scaled my shoulder so I could hear, Her answer whispered in my ear. "Have no sorrows when there are few, Why mourn what can be built anew?" My wife is never coming home, The world is hers and hers to roam. Her love is free from me to share, Her scent still lingers in the air. Our memories kept in the letters she wrote, "Our lives should sing without missing a note. Even though we've been pulled in two, Your heart will be rebuilt anew". I speak no words, just sit and shake. No roads to walk or breaths take. My hair falls out in shades of white, While shapes and sounds turn into light. My presence dissolves in a violent hiss, Peace grants me an impassioned kiss. A holy wind then ran me through, My life can be rebuilt anew. The walls collapsed around my corpse, My eyes don't see, my voice is hoarse. My flesh is stripped, the soil feeds, The ground gives birth to brand new trees. Every creature sings a joyful song, As my body's blood is passed along. I see my bones from a birds-eye view. My body will be made anew. I walk with brilliant cosmic drones, I don't exist, I'm not alone. I see the earth break down and rust. I see everything turn into dust. The universe contorts and bends, While time flows through a fractured lense. Existence is neither false nor true. My spirit is rebuilt anew. The planets shed their molecules, Their atoms turned to vibrant fuels. A seed takes root in an infant star, A sphere forms in its glowing scar. I enter it, take my first breath, In space untouched by life or death. It's colored in with green and blue, Our world has been rebuilt anew.
So, here’s a more attractive(?) post about that You Are Beneath Her record we’ve got coming out soon.
After the recording of You Are Beneath Me a couple years ago, Caroline came in and did a better job than me. That’s what these tracks consist of. Me getting shit on.Â
Some of you have these songs from when we posted the unmastered versions on our website. Good for you. Grab this record when it comes out because now the songs sound better.Â
The release is on Iron Pier and is the precursor to a duets EP of new Self Defense material on the label. People who always wanted to hear Dolly Parton duet with a barking dog/garbage disposal, get excited.Â
Coming soon.Â
Listen here.
This is reaaaalllyyyy badass.
I'm a wreck right now.
Genre Is Irrelevant:
Tera Melos - X'ed Out (2013, Sargent House):
What better way to kick things off in my newly redirected, vinyl-centric Tumblr than with an entry that doesn't have anything to do with vinyl.. fuck me, right? Regardless, this is a release (and band for that part) that truly deserves some lovin'. If you're unfamiliar with Tera Melos, they're a small band from Sacramento who's been making the normally rigid "math rock" genre (god what an awful title) their little bitch for the better part of the last decade. Initially they started off as a mostly instrumental bunch who seemed determined to cram as much somersaulting, athletic musicianship and dizzying weirdness into their spastic brand of jazzy post-everything-rock. Over the course of a modest sum of releases though, they have since expanded and refined their style by flexing their proggy tendencies and strengthening their craft as songwriters, without ever losing much of their technical edge or their endearing strangeness.
Which brings us to this year's newest offering, X'ed Out. After the brief, understated build-up that makes up the first half of album-opener "Weird Circles", the band cuts loose on all cylinders, doing what they do best and doing it arguably better than ever. Much like 2010's near-perfect Patagonian Rats, X'ed Out sees the band writing with a much more sharpened sense of song-craft than their self-titled debut album would have led to believe they were capable of. The tracks on X'ed Out are actually quite easily identifiable as songs rather than stretched out, indulgent jam sessions. Hell, I even daresay there are some downright infectiously catchy parts bouncing around in there that could qualify as choruses. The band has, as a unit, gotten better at dialing back the flashy musicianship for the sake of engaging song dynamics, so when they cut loose and use everything they've got to drive a huge hook over-the-top it really hits hard (see: "Sunburn" & "Tropic Lame" for examples of these huge hooks I speak of). Also, Nick Reinhart's role as a vocalist for the band has done wonders to really push their songs to new heights as their sound has progressed (again, see Patagonian Rats, that album is fantastic). Early on the band operated as an arguably instrumental unit (there were kinda vocals, but not in a way that really contributed to the songs... like at all), but over the years Reinhart's vocals have become more and more prominent, to the point they're at now where his vocal melodies are an integral part (along with his improved songwriting chops) of what gives X'ed Out its infectiously poppy charm.
If I've mislead you to believe this is some kind of attempted sell-out album, rest assured, all the things to love about Tera Melos remain intact. You've still got enough technical prowess and quirky musicianship to firmly identify this release as "math rock-esque", but unlike most bands that they share a stupid genre-tag with.. Tera Melos is actually having fun, dammit. Ignoring all the nimble musical showmanship, Tera Melos has managed to create songs that exude so much exuberance and raw, joyful energy that it's almost overbearing. It's honestly hard to resist smiling thinking about how much fun it must be for these guys to play songs that are busting at the seams with so much melodic bombast. Save for slow-burners and overall downer tracks "Slimed" and "X'ed Out and Tired" (and i mean "downer" to refer to mood, not quality. Those songs rule too), X'ed Out plows ahead track after track with relentless, hyperactive spirit.
Hell, if it weren't for the band's unshakable commitment to an almost alienating level of weirdness, this probably could've been the album that bumped them from cult band to blogsphere & festival highlights that sites like pitchfork salivate over (hey, it worked for Japandroids once they made a compromise or two). But I can see some people being put off by both the abrupt changes in mood and direction between and during songs (listen to "Tropic Lame" through "Slimed to see what I'm talking about), as well as the music's sometimes disorienting complexity. I also don't think it tops Tera Melos' previous album, Patagonian Rats, but it's a solid lateral move and a great album is a great album. Still, if you've got a sweet-tooth for bizarre & complex music I can't think of an easier way to satisfy it than with X'ed Out. Overall, this band really deserves more recognition than I've seen them get over the years. I've been wise to their game for a while now, and back around 06-08 they were something of a gateway band for me, exposing me to a whole new type of experimental music and really piquing my interest in bands that operated in that spectrum. So hey, here's hoping that their easier-to-digest album presented this year does the same for someone else. I would really love to see this band get some well-deserved praise for X'ed Out. Seriously, if you like what you hear there just keep moving back through their discography, because it's all close to the same level of quality (disclaimer: it gets weirder the farther back you go). I'll be trying to get my grubby paws on a vinyl copy of this and I'll make sure to update this writeup if I do! Until then, go get X'ed Out. Chances are, if what I've written here sounds like something you'd be interested in, then the album will easily exceed your expectations, as I am a subpar writer.
Check It Out If You Like: Battles, Don Caballero, Thee Oh Sees, Fang Island.

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STATE OF THE TUMBLR ADDRESS:
Its been almost two years since I've started this barely functioning outlet for the slow leak of flaccid creativity I'm sometimes able to bullshit onto a keyboard. So far I've criminally underutilized it in favor of inane things like end-of-the-year lists and youtube videos of artists I admire. It was supposed to be an online account of my passion and obsessive worship of the one thing I enjoy most in this world: music and the culture built around it. Life is hard though, and I am lazy and mostly uninspired. I let myself down a little I think by letting this collect dust the way it has.
The time has come for me to either delete this waste of internet space, this useless throwaway zone for sporadic and half-baked commentary on sometimes-music-oriented things, or I would have to completely restructure it. I've chosen to light a fire under my ass, get my shit together, and make this "blog" something of a new project to throw myself into.
itsastrangethingbeinghuman.tumblr.com (or whatever the URL is, I don't know how the internet works) is still going to be devoted to music i enjoy, but with a few tweaks. First and foremost, I am an avid devotee to the analog format, and over the years my record collection has grown to an embarrassingly hefty mass. So the key focus here is going to be vinyl. New releases, upcoming pre-orders, fellow vinyl-centric blogs and websites, and also a documentation of my own personal collection. I will comment on the resell market, answer any questions anyone has about pressing info, information resources, turntable setups, etc. in addition to giving my two-cents on individual records of particularly high end packaging, presentation, and (most importantly) the songs contained in their grooves. Album reviews, current events in the music world, and concert recommendations will surely sneak their way in, but I'm keeping things simple starting out. So for the time being itsastrangethingbeinghuman will be broken down into the following segments:
That Warm, Crackling Sound: for all things vinyl. A no-rules onslaught of information on shit you don't care about but I am irresistibly fascinated by.
Live From Where I'm Standing: I go to a lot of concerts, and more often than not have a thing or two to say about them. Commentary on tours, set-lists, the whole "live music experience".
Genre Is Irrelevant: Albums reviews, bands, developments regarding bands, and in general just updates on what I'm jamming whenever I'm jamming.
Ideally I would like to get into a habit of keeping a Sun/Tue/Thur update schedule. Now this is subject to change (as is the format I've crudely outlined above) but I need some sort of structure to start with until this becomes something I routinely update. If life responsibilities are insistent on stealing my attention away, I will make an effort to at least keep a weekly update standard. If this sound like a poor-man's attempt at music journalism rest assured that is something I will make a conscious effort to avoid. I just want to talk about music I love, records I buy, and maybe spread the word about artists I support. Who knows if anything will come of this, or if it's even worth the time I'm going to have to start sinking into it to make it worthwhile. Guess my 5 or so followers and I are about to find out in the next couple of weeks. Here goes nothing.
1. Fucking Christ Robert Pollard is looking old as hell these days.
2. LAWL Greg Demos falls down on national television. He is clearly out of practice doing the splits. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T TAKE 6 YEAR HIATUSES!
3. Fuck yea Guided By Voices.
The fact that I will not be able to afford this before it sells out makes me inconsolably sad..
Also while I'm spamming my 10 followers' feeds with youtube videos, can we take a second to talk about how incredible Waxahatchee's Cerulean Salt is? 2013 is still young but there hasn't been a single release this year I've listened to quite as much.
I witnessed so many incredible shows last year, but of course I couldn't see them all. Most of those missed opportunities came with mild to moderate regret. The fact that I missed seeing The Mountain Goats on this tour, however, will still sting long after I've forgotten about all the other side-note coulda-seen's.

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I was going to link directly to the studio version, but it's a long song and this video gives you something to watch while it plays. Plus there's something intimately beautiful about this stripped down recording. I love how unpretentiously human his songs and lyrics are, nothing over-dramatized or intellectualized. Gorgeous stuff.
I've written and deleted half a dozen or so introductions to this stupid thing and still don't know how to eloquently frame what I want to say. I'm just gonna have to wing it I guess, I don't know what else to do. There will be no subtlety, no poetry, and no sugar-coating. Rant imminent. Please forgive me for wasting your time anonymous. I'm frustrated. Yesterday I embarked on a 4 hour road trip with my sister to see her favorite comedian in Atlanta. I had bought her tickets for Christmas because I wanted to give her something special. I like to think I'm a pretty good gift giver. I drove her car because mine had been driving a little off earlier in the week and I was nervous about putting 500 miles on it in under 12 hours. Also the roads were wet and she is an inexperienced driver. So I drove. I just wanted to get there safely. She told me how bad her car was about hydroplaning. She said her tires were terrible, so I drove safely. However around 2 hours in, right outside the Chattanooga exit, the car began to fishtail going 75, and I lost control, totaling the car on the road divider. We didn't make Atlanta but both came out unharmed. My sister thanks god that we were both unharmed, and I'm left to feel like the lowest human alive. Not because I totaled her car, no that would've happened regardless of if I were driving, but because I can't feel any sort of gratitude in our good health. No, because I wanted to drive (ironically, because I thought it would be safer), I am now tasked with replacing the vehicle. All $1800 of it. I don't have $1800. I just finished paying off two separate credit cards and had started a strict budget to have my student loan paid off by a certain time so I can go back to school, start a career, and move on with what I can barely pass for a life. I'm supposed to move in with one of my best friends on the 5th of march as a first step towards this ambiguous happy ending. I now have to back out of this arrangement, literally screwing him and our third roommate over at the last second. I can't buy a new car on a limited budget. I won't be able to afford it. This puts me back months. Months I don't have. I'm on the hook for even longer now before I can try to do anything with my life, because everything costs money. I know, I know, "it's just money", but everything in my fucking life revolves around money. Money I work in a fucking shithole warehouse doing drone burnout temp work for to make. That's 40 hours of my life I haven't seen a positive return for in the 6 months I've done it, and now 40 hours a week I'm going to see even less of a return for for 3-5 more. And for what? I don't understand the way this works. There are any number of variables that could've made last night accident avoidable. But the stars aligned and it happened, and it happened to me. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS DO SOMETHING FOR MY SISTER BECAUSE I LOVE HER. This is what happens as a result? We almost die and the next half year of my financial future is now dominated by this looming, dictating force. One that commands and unravels all my current plans to move my life forward. Please. Forgive the melodrama. I know how this sounds and I promise it isn't me scoffing at the value of life. This is simply the straw that broke my resolve. This is 15 months coming apart like they never mattered. It's my moment of weakness. I'm just tired. I'm tired of just pretending I'm okay all of the time when things like this keep happening. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. How does the universe decide things like this?! Karma? Fuck karma! I'm reeling in bad karma for what? The small handful of people whose music taste I've insulted by accident or on purpose? The fact that I was a shitty boyfriend in my last relationship? Or maybe it's gods design? If I'm wrong and there is a god he is not a just one. As presumptuous as that sounds it's true. If there is god he picks at us like the insects we are to him. Good things don't happen to good people, and bad fortunes is as predictable and avoidable as the weather. The universe operates on chaos and I'm just exhausted by trying to fight it for so long. My head hurts, my chest hurts, and my back hurts from the wreck. It's hard to breathe, but not from the accident, but because my lungs themselves don't want to inflate to keep this shit body moving through another shit day where more shit can happen to it and all hope of a fulfilling, successful future become less and less believable. I can't keep hiding behind a smile and the thought that "things will just get before if I stay positive". How long does that take? I've been doing this for over a year and things keep getting worse. Tonight, this night, right now as I type this, and for the first time in 15 months I'm legitimately wondering "how much fight do I have left?". Is being a good person good enough? Will it really help me to appreciate life more? So far the only answer is a shaky, ambiguous "not yet". So I keep smiling. Maybe one day I will wake up and this all wont matter as much. This isn't about having a buy a car anymore. I don't think it ever was. This is about me losing faith in good things and good faith. It's about how sick I am of living life worshipping the mighty dollar symbol. It's about how I can't get the win I need right now, financially, emotionally, romantically, etc. it's about how I can't seem to cope with how irrelevant I feel, and how much more irrelevant I really am. It's about how I can't seem to handle episodes like this with grace like a BALANCED FUCKING ADULT. It's my exhaustion winning. It's my drive dying. It's how nothing makes sense no matter how I spin it. And even though I am blessed with mostly good fortune, and good health, I still can't find gratitude in life. You add all of these things together, and it is why tonight, 3 hours before I should be waking up for work, I feel the lowest I have in recent memory. All hail the chaos. I really need a cigarette. Quitting is a bitch.