idek man i'm just doin my best

the thing about body horror is that there's nothing you can come up with that can compete with what the human body will do to itself under a sufficient amount of stress

EXCEPT ‼️ radiation poisoning. that shit is fuuuuuucked.

A new co-worker tried to assert his nerd dominance over lunch by explaining to me what Dungeons & Dragons is.

Rate the efficacy of his depiction on a scale of 0-100%?

He seemed to be under the impression that the Dungeon Master has their own secret character (also called the Dungeon Master), and that becoming powerful enough to fight this character is how you win the game.

hey I have a new rule I’d like to propose for all editions of dungeons and dragons

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

I just got the funniest caution message at the beginning of a Wikipedia article

REMEMEBER IF HARD WATER IS CAUSING CALCIUM BUILDUP IN YOUR BONG, JUST LET SOME WHITE VINEGAR SIT IN THAT THING FOR A FEW MINUTES AND SHE'LL BE LOOKIN BRAND NEW. JUST DONT SMOKE WEED WOTH THE VINEGAR INSIDE PLEASE

KPop Demon Hunters is a pretty good movie with a pretty bad title lol. it's like naming your romance novel "Enemies To Lovers" or- (assistant runs onstage) what? (assistant starts whispering frantically in my ear) oh... oh.......

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

booktok YA n smut is one of those things where it’s rly hard to criticize it publicly for serious things like misogyny or racism or homophobia n how it enforces capitalism bc 99.9% of the backlash is ppl proclaiming the death of literature is coming bc women like to read porn. like I hate this as well but I hate it for a better reason that these ppl do.

watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before

It's a little surprising that the "Monday's child is fair of face" nursery rhyme never caught on as an arbitrary personality-assigner in the same way astrology did. It makes the same amount of sense.

Imagine people going around saying "yeah I could never date a Wednesday child, they're wired to be miserable and emotionally draining and as a Friday child I know I'd end up doing so much emotional labour for them"

you can actually still find porn on tumblr as long as ur at work or in public or with your family or trying to find something else or when youre trying to make a post or search your archive or check a tag or your dms or your followers or