It's Always June

Happy Halloween/Diwali to those who celebrate!

It's been a hectic week, I had a lab report due on Wednesday, so I put all of my time and effort into that. I think I did a good job, but now I'm behind on my studies in general. I have time to catch up, that's going to be my main focus for the week. I also have things to do for the societies that I'm a part of.

I miss my partner a lot- I always miss them, but it has been particularly difficult recently due to not being able to speak to them much, since I have been busy with my report.

I didn't do anything for Diwali really, I expected bigger celebrations, and even went to little India in KL, but it was closed. I got a pretty outfit, and ate, but that's all- it felt like a ghost town.

To Do:

Poster for Merry Mixer, psychsoc

Cognitive notes for thinking lecture

some anki

Reading:

The Ape that understood the Universe- pg. 7

Today was really good. My friend from the UK arrived in Malaysia yesterday, so we met to go to the gym together. We mainly just had a look at the equipment, and got an idea of how the gym booking system worked. We then ate together and tried Nasi lemak- I found it too spicy so I manly ate the rice that didn't have the sauce on.

Then, we had a lecture for International students, it was a lot of visa explanations, and we found out that if we overstay our visas, we could get whipped, which was sort of terrifying. Then, we got a bus to the local mall. I finally got a Malaysian SIM card, it took forever to do, but at least it's done now. I also got chicken and fried rice. It was really delicious. I'm really glad my friend made me try it.

Love always,

Today was a loong day. I went out for breakfast at a café called 'Fox', I had a honey-glazed chicken sandwich, and a salted caramel latte. The chicken had bones in, which is definitely a cultural difference that I'm not yet used to, but it was delicious. The coffee was really good too. Then, we went into KL and spent the day in the central market, and went shopping with my friends for clothes. There were some really pretty clothes there, I would recommend it! We ate at the Pavilion mall food court, it was okay. Then we explored the KL Chinatown.

Love always,

It's my birthday! I went to IOI mall, for ice skating. I can go in a wobbly line without holing the rail if I go slow enough, which I can consider a win! I also ate at a Texas Chicken store, it was delicious, not exactly traditional Malaysian food though. There was a celebrity appearance from a Korean drama actor, named Lee Minho, and even though I didn't know who he was, the atmosphere of everyone screaming for him was crazy! We then had a wonder around the stores, and bought some bingsu (Korean shaved frozen milk)- I really liked it, it was my first time trying it.

I'm feeling much better today, I'm glad to get out with people, staying to myself all of the time made me feel lonely, so I need to make an active effort to connecting with people.

I'm in Malaysia now!! The flights were rough.

(Yesterday) 5h 55 into my first flight (to Dubai for layover). I'm an hour into the Hobbit. It's so enchanting. The flight attendants have come around with menus. I've had 1/2 of a bag of Maltesers already. I'm feeling excited but I wish I could message my partner. The long flight will be worse than when I'm actually these- because I can't have any contact at all.

When I landed, I got an airport shuttle provided by the university which felt like it took years. Finally, I arrived to my dorm at around 1pm (Malaysian time), and slept until 8pm. I got snacks from the vending machine, unpacked my suitcase, and fell asleep until the next day.

Today, I did a lot of admin work (signing documents, reading through emails, etc). I also took a walk around the campus- trying get bearings. So far, I've had gyros with fries, and chicken fried rice. The food so far has been really good, but I feel like I've been choosing the safe options, so we'll see how I get on.

09.09.24

I woke up in the arms of my partner- after one of the best night sleeps I've had in a long time. It was a good weekend, a final goodbye to my boyfriend before I leave for my studies. I will come back at Christmas, but right now, that feels like lightyears away. I'll try not to count down every second that we're apart.

After breakfast, I dropped him off at the bus station to make his way home- I couldn't even bear to hug him. I was afraid that if I was able to hold him for one last time, I wouldn't have the willpower to let go.

I spent the rest of the day packing and sorting documents for my flights tomorrow. It will be a long day of travel (two 7+ hr flights) and I'm hoping that everything goes as smoothly as possible.

I had a 'final' meal with my dad- a gammon dinner (English classic); and overall, I'm feeling hopeful about my new year. I'm trying to focus on what the year away will add to my life, and not so much what it will take away. My heart will ache for my boyfriend, my dad, and my dog- but I am opening so many opportunities for myself that wouldn't exist otherwise.

Success takes sacrifice, and I'm grateful to have so much to miss.

I'll finish the rest of my packing, and attempt to have an early night's sleep.

~June xx

I've had such a long few days (in a good way though). I need to stay busy or the stress of moving to the other side of the world catches up to me. Not much to say really.

Not much has happened since my last blog post.

I met my partner's parents; they were nice and I really wasn't nervous, even though I thought I would be. I haven't done much uni work lately, I need to keep on top of it, as well as making sure my visa is going through. I applied for an online Internship, that way I can do it remotely from Malaysia. I didn't put too much effort into the application, so I'm not insanely hopeful about it. Either way, it's good practice.

It's my boyfriend's birthday today, but I'm not seeing him until tomorrow. We're on a real countdown now before we have to go long distance awhile. I'm looking forward to most parts of moving abroad, but being away from him will be my biggest difficulty. My boyfriend assures me that it's going to work, so I believe him.

I'll try to post more (I want to post daily), but can't make any promises, as it's not easy to find something to post about when so little is happening in my life.

-June xx

01.08.24

April begins! Lots of chaos will be happening this month as I expect to be studying abroad for a year by early September- so it's the final (big) push to ensure all the paperwork is sorted. Today I found out that my visa had been rejected for medical reasons- and when I contacted my university for help, they were not helpful at all. I'll need to keep on top of them to ensure that my application doesn't slip through the cracks.

On a brighter note, it's my brother's birthday today; as well as my boyfriend's and granddad's later in the month. This is good for parties, but bad for my bank account (lots of presents to be bought). I also have a family holiday at the end of the month, which is with my extended family (on my mother's side), so that is another thing to look forward to.

I realised yesterday that my bellybutton piercing fell out, so I'll also need to get a new one today before the hole closes up (it hurt to get it done, and took forever to heal, so I'm trying my absolute best to avoid having to go through that again.

I got a new laptop- it's meant to be for my birthday, but I should be abroad by then, so I got it early. It should be good for my schoolwork and actually be able to run the necessary programmes, hopefully meaning I'll get more done as I won't be forged to only work in the library.

Long time no see! I had to give the uni laptop back and don't currently have one (that works) and I usually don't use tumblr on my phone so this is strange.

My exams are done now, I've tried to decompress from them. I spent some time with my boyfriend which always makes me feel good (he's literally the best).

Today I packed up my first-year dorm and took it home. Maybe it would be more emotional if it weren't so chaotic. Getting everything in the car was... a struggle. I now have to somehow find space in my room for it all. I can also use the shed for storage which is helpful.

[Exams 3/4]

The last exam was terrible, the exam writer was lazy (repeating questions, using questions on the mock, asking lots of questions about a tiny part of the syllabus, etc,) it really knocked by confidence and uspet me. I think I should have done better, and don't see the exam as a true reflection of what I can achieve. In all honesty, after the exam I went back to my dorm and cried- out of both upset and frustration. I hope that despite the poor creation of the test, I have done enough to get the grades I need. I have one test left, and I'm definitely burnt out. Everything got on top of me all at once, I miss my family and my sister has recently had a baby, but I haven't met him due to being in exams. Not being around family during such a momentous occasion has made me feel bad about moving away, and about my plans to move even further for the next academic year.

Not being able to see my nephew is a huge sacrifice to me, so to go through that only to sit in an unfair exam was the straw that broke the camel's back. After my last exam, I will be going out clubbing (not something I'm particuarly excited for right now, but I know it will help my social life), then all I want to do is go home to meet the newest member of my family.

[Exams 2/4]

I have an exam tomorrow, at 10am. I need to go over and learn the enitre syllabus inbetween then and now.

I have been cramming all day.

[Exams 2/4]

My stats test is today, I'm nervous. I haven't left my dorm in days. I have either been revising or sleeping, I'm not feeling great mentally or physically. Talking to my boyfirend helps, but we're mid/long distance and I really am missing him, this is the longest we've been apart since we got together. I should get used to being away from him. If I get onto this study abroad scheme, I won't see him for alost a whole year (I'll go back once for Christmas). Not seeing him is definitley not helping my mood. Luckily, he's super supportive, ang is sending my lots of encouraging messages. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. If he thinks I can do it, I must be able to, I haven't seen him be wrong yet.

My sister is giving birth today, its definitely a distraction. I am going to struggle in the test if I don't hear back from her before I go in. Re-taking these tests means I won't qualify for my study abroad. I know I've done the best I can with revision and studying, and its going to be a big blow to me if my 100% best still isn't enough. Exam anxiety doesn't help either- if I get 100% on a mock, I can expect at least a 10% reduction on the actual exam, which means when I'm hardly passing mocks, I am not confident for the real thing. I have done everything I can, I need to trust that my best is enough.

The baby is born- its healthy and cute. My exam is in an hour, I don't know what to think about it.

Exam is done! I don't think it went too bad but I can't be sure- we'll see.