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It turns out that you can become the person you’ve always envisioned but you’ll still have the person you were before inside of you and you have to treat them with as much forgiveness and love as possible
Warnings: nsfw (under the cute, fade to black, minors DNI); mentions of death and child loss.
“Is it always going to be like this? Loving each other in the shadows?” You drew mindlessly random forms on his naked stomach while your head rested on his chest.
Your naked limbs tangled, the only light in the room was from the moon and the stars outside the window from the apartment in the Spring Court Azriel had rented for the two of you spend the night.
“I’m kinda fond of shadows,” Azriel’s chest rumbled with soft laughter and you chuckled.
He took a deep breath and you looked at him. “I meant it…” he kissed your nose, “I like you Y/N…”
“How much?” You challenged and he smirked.
“A lot.”
“Oh I love me a male of few words.”
“I’m better at showing anyway.” In a swift movement he had you pinned down underneath him.
Shadows curled around your wrists bringing them above your head securing you in place. Trailing kisses down your neck, he stopped briefly to kiss each peaked nipple and continuing his descent to your stomach. When he finally reached where you needed him, he proved just how much he liked you. Three times.
—
“Where is Y/N, Tamlin?” Feyre asked as she and her companions entered his manor.
Lucien was walking right behind him as they met before the grand staircase.
“I don’t keep tabs on my guests.” He said gruffly.
“Okay, so what do you know about the troves then?” Feyre crossed her arms defiantly.
“Feyre…” Lucien step next to Tamlin looking at her like she had two heads. “What is this about?”
“Fox boy, I would consider very carefully your alliances at this moment.” Cassian spoke and Lucien looked between them.
“Y/N is not at the manor, Rhysand has the troves… So what is the problem?” Lucien pressed.
“The problem is that she is lying to us… All of us, including you, Tamlin.” Mor spoke and Tamlin lifted an eyebrow at her.
“Why should I believe any of you?” He finally spoke and Feyre took a deep breath.
“Because… Y/N has been lying this whole time… About the troves and about who she really is.” Lucien shook his head at this.
“She’s a human whose father made a weapon out of…” He said carefully recalling what Rhysand had told them.
“She told that to Azriel in confidence… She used his feelings for her to deceive him into believing that pity story… But it’s not the whole truth…” She looked at Cassian and More and they nodded so she would continue. “Amren has been trying to get access to the book Y/N gave us… She hasn’t been able to do anything, it seemed locked with some sort of magic… They came to the conclusion that the key to access anything was Y/N… Or her power…” She paused. “Because she’s not in the Night Court anymore, and this was all but a theory… They tested it with her blood…”
“How…” Lucien started wide eyed.
“Y/N got injured back in Velaris a couple of times during training…” Mor explained. “So they had a sample of her blood to test their theory.” She took a breath. “Human blood cells would’ve been inconclusive because their cells die in the first 24H after drawn…”
“But not magical blood…” Lucien breathed coming to the conclusion himself.
“So what does this all mean? What did they find in the book?” Tamlin asked impatiently.
“Y/N was the one to forge the troves… Not only is she not human, she’s a witch.”
Lucien laughed humourlessly at that. “The troves are ancient… She is 23… How is this possible?”
“That’s what she’s been saying… However, Rhys and Amren finally broke into the book… The signature was not just a random fae signature, it was a witch one… hers. Plus the whole story of how it all truly went down.” Feyre finally told them, “Her father, Captain Hook, he possessed ancient magic, they did make a bargain with the High Fae asking for immortality, and they indeed broke it, but that was a millenia ago. Hook did bind the bones to her, that also wasn’t a lie, but what she didn’t say was that in revenge, she forged the troves with the stolen magic… They are powerful weapons that can fight even the strongest and darkest of magics…”
“So she’s a witch with stolen magic?” Tamlin asked skeptical.
“How do you think she was able to rebuild your whole court in less than a week?” Cassian cocked his eyebrow.
“So what does she want from us?” He asked, a tinkle of fear crossing his eyes.
“That’s the part we don’t understand yet… She keeps insisting her only purpose is to end Hybern…” Feyre stopped talking coming to a realization.
“Hybern.” Morrigan looked at her reaching the same conclusion.
“Shit.” It was all Tamlin said before they all scrambled into his study.
—
“Marry me.” Your eyes widened at the simple yet meaningful words.
“Az…”
“No. Don’t “Az” me.” He held your face between his scarred hands. “You’re already mine. So be mine.”
Your hands sat on top of his. “Baby…”
“You asked me if it was always going to be like this… loving each other in the shadows… I’m telling you now, that I want to love you at every second of everyday.”
You heart swelled with emotion and tears brimmed your eyes. You licked your lips and nestled into his hands nodding slowly.
“Yes?” He whispered putting his forehead against yours.
“Yeah…” you chocked out letting the tears fall and he kissed you passionately.
—
As soon as you reached your ship at dawn, you knew something was wrong. You took some deep breaths as you entered your study. Your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Feyre seating on one of your chairs by herself.
“What is this?” You asked slowly. She inhaled deeply and her eyes widened. You regretted immediately not going for a shower first. You knew your scent was mixed deeply with Azriel’s, and she knew immediately.
“How is he?” She whispered softly.
“He’s your spymaster…” You replied taking a seat across from her and by the taunted look in her eyes you simply answered. “He’s okay… Back to the autumn border.” She only nodded.
“You didn’t tell us the whole truth… Did you?” She sighed and you just stared at her.
“If you’re talking about Azriel…”
“No.” She shook her head. “About Hybern… About how it was the prior king of Hybern who promised your immortality… Who it was you who forged the troves in the first place…” She whispered the last part.
You let out a humorless laugh, “You figured out the book.”
“Is that why you’re so intent on ending Hybern? Because of what they did to your people?”
“You know the best part about old tales Feyre?” You took a deep breath, “With each century that passes you get to rewrite a part of your own story. You decide what to let the next generation to carry over. You get to change it. Forge it. Until it is perfect. Until it tells exactly what you need it to.” You walked over and poured two cups of whiskey offering her one. “After my father made that fool bargain with the king, he was power starved. He wanted more, nothing was ever enough.” You said bitterly. “I had a husband, I was with child.” You heard her soft gasp but you continued. “You wanna know what happens to a pregnant woman when she’s injected with strong and powerful magic?” You paused “Everything inside her dies and then is rebuilt anew. And with brand new scars to remind you all the time about what you lost… I simply could not do it anymore…” A stray tear fell and you took a shuddering breath, “A century…. It took me a century to come back home. He was long gone, my friends as well. Because only my family was guaranteed the gift of immortality thanks to the bargain. During that time I was filled with rage and hatred and grief. The troves were forged with those things in mind. I didn’t realize just how terrible they were until I came back home and tried to use them on my father.” You swallowed hard. “He was injured badly… Hybern found out about the troves then, and they wanted them, to study them… Use them in battle.”
“And did they? Use them?”
“No… I made sure the troves disappeared before they could ever even see them.” You looked at her. “But my father knew about them, and he wanted them for himself, try to gain a seat on the throne… That’s when Hybern killed him. And once my father died, our magic came back.”
“Why did you came here?”
“I want to wipe Hybern out of the map, for good.”
“That’s why you wanted Rhys alliance, wasn’t it?”
“I’m powerful but only so much… Rhysand is the most powerful high lord since the king of Prythian… I knew I had better chances at ending Hybern if I had him by my side.”
“So the Spring Court…”
“I locked the book and the troves using my magic… I knew he’d figure out sooner or later that he needed me so I used my waiting time to help the Spring… I never had an ulterior motive here.” You said truthfully.
“Do they know?” You furrowed your brow. “Your crew?”
You bit your lip shaking your head. “Not all of it.”
“Our version then?” You only nodded in confirmation. “We will help you.” She said after a few moments of silence and you started.
“What?”
“We will ally with you.” She explained.
“But Rhysand…”
“Heard every single word and agrees.” You head twisted fast to the door frame where the High Lord of Night stood and spoke from. “I hope you can forgive me for eavesdropping and… Well, everything really.” He gave you a small smile and you swallowed hard.
“I…” You shook your head. “I’m not sorry I lied…” You looked him in the eye. “I do think I could’ve went at it differently but… I’m not sorry.”
“I don’t expect you to be.” He sighed. “What I did was… Very wrong. And not just about the troves but…” Azriel. You just nodded. “Congratulations by the way…” Your eyes widened, had Azriel told them… “I know Azriel will be a great father, and…” You didn’t hear anything after that.
—
A child. You were with child. Azriel’s child.
You threw up once more in the bucket while Feyre held your hair up. You had gone so pale hurling all the contents from your stomach you weren’t even sure when had been your last meal.
“Rhys… Are you sure of this?” Feyre asked her mate who was rubbing circles on your back but the glittering in her eyes told you enough. She could scent it too.
“At first I thought it was just Azriel’s scent on you but… It’s there… I’m… I’m so sorry… I thought you knew…” He stammered and you waved them off taking a seat against the wall.
“How can this be?” You whispered to yourself. “I’ve taken lovers before… Healers told me it was impossible for me to be with child because of all the transformation my body went through…” You looked at them. “He is… He is not my mate…” You rested your head against the wall closing your eyes. “I can’t do this to him…” You looked at Feyre with tears in your eyes, “He asked me to marry him… I said yes although I didn’t think it was fair to him… But this? I can’t…”
“Y/N… Mating bond or not, Azriel loves you… That much is clear…” Rhysand was silent starring at the floor. “What is it?” Feyre asked.
“I… I had told Azriel that you two couldn’t be together… I put myself between you two and I shouldn’t have… I didn’t know you then and I made a bad judgment call.” He looked at you, “I’m so sorry...”
You didn’t say anything else to him. You stood up on unsteady legs and took a seat on the chair once more.
“I would like to be alone now…” They both nodded and made to leave. “Stay a while longer in the guest rooms, I’d like to talk to everyone later.” They mumbled an answer and left you alone.
Once alone you put your hand on your stomach a little smile on your lips as you let your tears flow freely.
A Millenia you had grieved for the life you lost and now you had a second chance at happiness. The choice was a hard one to make, would you be selfish and take it for yourself or would you have to let it all go?
---------
I feel bad for leaving this chapter on this note but I think it just makes sense! lol
Now, I apologize for the two month break without notice. I was away on vacation in august and then I got a job at the end of august/begining of September so I was utterly overwhelmed and I haven't sat to write anything since last time! I hope you can forgive me!! <3
On another note, this fanfiction is about to come to an end (I think at least two more chapters and once again I just wanted to say how much I appreciate each and every one of you!!! Thank you for supporting me on this little journey! It has been amazing to share this with you!
I had an idea for a one shot and I can't wait to share that as well with you all! (prompt underneath)
Prompt: After Azriel’s extra chapter in ACOSF, Azriel follows Rhys advice and goes to the pleasure hall where he meets Y/N — who goes by the name of Fawn, wears a fawn mask, very little clothing and a curly dirty blonde wig — Azriel is attracted to her bright emerald green eyes and they end up spending the night together, Azriel finds solace in her and confides his struggles thinking he will never see her again. Until the next morning post winter solstice when everyone gathers at the river house, mostly hangover. Elain says she’s bringing a guest over, a friend she met in the city. Azriel would know those bright emerald green eyes anywhere…
Anyway, enough chatting! I will talk to you all very soon!! <3
a/n: I know this chapter is shorter but I wanted to upload it sooner so it had to! If you do prefer the longer chapter let me know! <3
Warnings: none
“Y/N,” he bowed slightly with a little smile and you smiled broadly wrapping him in a hug. You felt him stiffen but then relaxing by hugging you back.
“What… What are you doing here?” You looked him over noticing the night court attire that he usually wore back in Velaris.
“I came to see Tamlin on my way to the mortal lands and… I find his manor rebuilt and laughter in the villages…” he looked confused and amazed. “How?”
“He needed help… After Rhysand…” you took a deep breath, “Does he know?”
“He sure does… but it’s a long story.” He warned and I invited him to seat with me in my study. His broad figure barely fitting through the door. “My brother told them where you were the same day he spotted you.” You only nodded recalling the encounter with Eris. “Rhysand was… out… for a day or two,” you frowned at the use of words, “but Feyre asked Cassian and me to check up on you…” He gave you a knowing look. Not Cassian and Azriel, Cassian and Lucien. Because Azriel… She pushed the thought away from her mind but Lucien must have read it on her face because he said, “Azriel has been working on the border of the Autumn Court, no one has seen him since before you left.”
“So what does the High Lord of Night has to say about what I’ve done?” You asked ignoring his last statement.
“I’m… not sure.” He confessed. “Cassian is the main point of communication from here but he doesn’t tell me much.”
“Any news on Hybern?”
“Not yet, they’ve been awfully quiet recently.” You nodded, “Y/N… I wanted to thank you.” You looked at him, “You helped him… Somehow… He’s stubborn as hell, I don’t know how you did it but you saved him, his court, possibly even all of us.”
“I told Rhysand I would come south if he refused my help, but he did something so much worse… He dismissed me once he had what he needed…” You shook your head, “The reason why I helped Tamlin build himself up, is because I refuse to let Rhysand walk over someone else again.”
“I know what he did was wrong but…” You gave him a look that said do not finish that sentence. “Hear Feyre out before you take it on them…”
“Did they sent you to tell me this?” You frowned looking at your hands.
“No, I came because no one else would give you a chance, just like you did for him.”
Your posture relaxed on the chair. “You love him, don’t you?”
“He’s my brother,” Lucien smiled a little, “He saved me before and I couldn’t save him now… I left him when everything went to shit and I thought there was no going back, but…” He looked at you, “Thank you.” Those two words coated with emotion.
You only gave him a knowing smile.
“Thank you for coming Lucien.”
“I will always come for my friends.” He smiled back at you and then grinned, “So about Eris…”
You chuckled, "Oh boy..."
—
“I’m leaving for the Spring Court today,” Feyre announced holding her mate’s hand.
“I’m coming with you,” he forced out, his voice hoarse.
“You’re still healing, I can do this Rhys.”
“If he dares to put one claw on you…” Rhys growled.
“Cassian and Mor will be there with me, he won’t touch me.” She guaranteed.
“Enlighten me again on why do you think this is a good idea.” Rhysand sat up straighter in bed where he had laid for the past week.
He had been in such darkness during these days that he hadn’t been able to handle any court business. Feyre took over only relying some of the information to him. It had taken Madja, the healer, and a lot of talking to get him to eat and drink and even shower. Rhysand had fallen so deep in the darkness inside his own mind he almost lost himself to it. Because of the carelessness on his own body, he found himself bound to bed until he regained full strength.
“The reports Cassian and Lucien sent showed that somehow Y/N had been able to help the Spring Court, people are finally coming back to the villages, the army is training and preparing for the war...” She took a deep breath, “She didn’t go there to hurt you, she went there to help Tamlin… Or the spring court, to help in the war...” she shook her head, “Either way, I know she trusts me and she will hear me, and we can end this rivalry once and for all, and prepare for the inevitable war, together.”
“What if…”
“I will have the protection spell around me at all times, she won’t hurt me.” She insisted kissing his cheek.
“I will meet you there as soon as I can, I promise.”
“I just want you to promise me you will be okay while I’m gone.” He kissed her temple.
“I’ll eat and drink and shower, then when we are back together I’ll show you just how much strength I got back.” He winked and she rolled her eyes.
“You’re a prick.” She said lovingly and kissed him goodbye before meeting with Morrigan and winnowing to the Spring Court.
—
“What are you doing here?” You asked walking out of the High Lord’s manor into the garden where Feyre, Cassian and Mor stood.
“I’d like to speak with you, if you allow me.” Feyre spoke calmly and you crossed your arms over your chest.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be here… Any of you.” You look at each of them pointedly.
“We understand, maybe we could talk in more common ground? Your ship perhaps?” Feyre offered and you took a deep breath taking it in.
“If Rhysand sent you here to…”
“No,” She cut you off, “I came here as my own person, to check on my friend.”
You remembered her shock and disappointment that day on your ship when her mate had made the decision to take the troves and break the bargain. Taking a deep breath you agreed, “Fine.”
On the walk to your ship, Cassian and Mor were silent the whole time. Bonnie and Sebastian looked them over, assessing and looking for any danger when you reached the deck.
“You can tell your friends we come in peace, Y/N” Mor chimmed in and you looked at your friends giving them a smirk.
“Why? They are only doing their jobs.”
“Are you seriously upset at us, little shark?” Cassian frowned and Feyre gave him a pointed look.
“You all serve the male who made a fool of me and my crew,” you spat, “if you came here expecting cuddles you can go back to your court, I don’t need you.”
Cassian was about to reply and Feyre intervened “Cassian, enough,” she gave him another look and then turned to you, “We just wanna talk,” she held your hand adding, “Please.”
You took your hand from hers and walked towards your study taking a seat at your desk.
“Talk then.” You waved your hand motioning for them to take a seat.
“You helped Tamlin…” she started and you took a deep breath.
“That’s none of your business.”
“We had a source… We were told you wanted to sell the Night Court secrets over to Tamlin.”
“Eris Vanserra is an unlikely source if you ask me,” you shook your head, “I did not reveal any secrets, I knew Eris would only leave it alone if I gave him something to gossip about.” You rolled your eyes.
No one spoke, all eyes assessing you still, “I told you before I was going to be part of this war one way or the other,” You looked only as Feyre as you spoke “But my alliance did not change, Hybern is mine to kill, and since your mate deigned me and my crew not trust worthy of fighting along side your court, I had to go look somewhere else.”
“Why the spring court? Why not allying yourself with someone who has an army, gods… even a head over their shoulders?” Cassian asked.
“Because Tamlin was easy to manipulate in his… state of mind…” Morrigan guessed and you chuckled shaking your head.
“For someone whose gift is truth, Morrigan… You better than anyone should know that’s not it.” You said and shrugged. “Why I chose the Spring Court is none of your business either way, I’m working with Tamlin and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have interest with allying with the Night Court, but we do have an enemy in common, so for the sake of Prynthian, I will bring your concerns to the High Lord, and I will send word once we have one to send.”
“Y/N…” Feyre reached out her hand for you across the table and you stilled looking at your hands together. “I’m sorry…”
“No one did anything to stop him…” you whispered, emotion coating your words, you could feel the burn in your eyes for the unshed tears.
“We didn’t know…”
“What difference would had it made anyway?” You shook your head taking your hand away from hers, “Would’ve you gone against your mate, your high lord? For someone you just met?” You put your hands through your hair, “I never meant to hide who or what I was, I never meant to lie or deceive, but I’ve learned that my word means nothing to you… any of you, so you may leave now.”
“Y/N…”
“Don’t,” you stood from your chair composing yourself. “You know the way out.” You left the study without another word and used your control and magic over the air element to fly you back to the beach and started off to the manor once more.
—
“What did they want?” Tamlin asked as you walked into his study.
“Keeping tabs on me,” You shrugged taking a seat on the chair by the fire. “Nothing to worry about,” You took him in, “You look better.” You noticed and one corner of his mouth lifted.
“Fake it until you make it right?” You nodded, “What’s next?”
“Your army,” You explained, “We sent word to regroup, a lot of them were wary of coming back, but the news spread fast and most of them are back on the training grounds.”
“You sure about this?”
“We don’t have an Illyrian army but we can’t just give up.” You took a deep breath, “Plus, my crew is highly trained so they’re helping them.”
“Hmmm,” He mumbled a thanks and you gave him a small smile.
“Have you talked to Lucien yet?”
“I sent word for a meeting, he is to come here later today.”
“Good,”
“What about the Night Court?”
“Leave them to me,” You smiled, “They might have the troves, but without the knowledge to wield them… They’re pretty much useless…”
“But… Didn’t you give them the book as well?” He frowned.
Your smile was feline as you said, “I’m not as dumb as I may appear,” He observed your every move, “I sensed something was off so I took precautions,” He arched his brows, “Only one person can read the book,” You looked at the embers in the fireplace, “And that person is me.”
—
Amren had been trying to read that damn book ever since Rhysand had brought it back to the River House, but nothing seemed to make the words appear. She trying putting her magic into it but it only fought back. She tried blood, magical daggers, she even tried using the troves to make something… Anything, happen, but nothing. At first she thought it might be a fake. Just an empty old book, but she could feel its magic humming at her tries.
Frustrated she threw the book away from her and walked around Rhys’s study.
“Any luck?” Rhysand walked in taking a seat on one of the chairs.
“You are supposed to be resting boy.”
“I can’t be in bed anymore, specially with Feyre back at the Spring Court.” He groaned as he took a seat.
“She can handle herself,”
“I know that, I just… worry.”
“Nothing on the book… Whatever she did, its being hidden from us.”
“You think she did it on purpose.” He stated and Amren nodded.
“Oh I’m sure, and I think she might be the key to it… But there’s more.” He took a deep breath motioning her to keep going, “Not only the book appear blank to us… But the troves also are nothing but iron pieces… I think they need each other to work and unless we can read this book, they’re useless to us.”
“We need her then…”
“Or, we can ask Feyre to confirm our suspicions… Either way, I think she outsmarted us all.”
He only nodded, suddenly his gaze was glassy and she knew he was communicating to his mate. Good.
—
“Lucien told me you were spying on the Autumn’s border…” Your voice was low as you took a seat under a tree in the gardens of the manor.
“You left without saying goodbye…” Azriel’s voice was low as he took a seat by your side.
“It was the best for the both of us.” You took him in, his gaze cold and his eyes shadowed.
“Define ‘best’,” He whispered, and you took his hand intertwining your fingers while resting them on your lap.
“I like you Az…” You grazed your thumb on his glove that kept his siphon in place. “But we are not good for each other.”
“I like you too Y/N… And I think you’re wrong,” He took your chin in his thumb and forefinger and kissed you gently, you kissed him back. His tongue was on yours like a slow dance and your teeth clashing ever so often.
You both stopped for air resting your forehead on his with your eyes closed.
“Spend the night with me Y/N,” He whispered, his breath caressing your face, your only response was a nod before he winnowed you away.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
1. Nyx learning to fly 🦇
2. Baby proofing a toddler menace 🩹
Due to his dramatic debut into the world, I can see Feyre and Rhys being a bit cautious with their winged faeby. I can also see Nyx being a little menace who’s always getting up to mischief anyway.
Thank you @ohmycuckoo for this gorgeous commission 🧡
Azriel: What are you looking at, Vanserra?
Eris: I could ask the same of you, Shadowsinger. You're blushing.
Azriel: It's cold.
Eris: Of course. It's the cold, definitely not your view.
Azriel: Shut up and look somewhere else.
Eris: You first.
Please do NOT repost. Reblogs are welcome. Characters belong to Sarah J. Maas.
a/n: This fan fiction is taking a different direction then I initially had planned but hey! I'm still liking it a lot, so I'm just hoping you also enjoy it! <3
Warnings: mentions of torture, emotional distress
Rhysand felt his brother’s arrival as soon as he sat foot in his yard. He could taste his anger and frustration. That’s why he sent his mate, son and Sister-in-law to the town house, safe away from Azriel’s fury. Because he knew this was coming, what surprised him was that it took him so long to come look for a fight.
Feyre had given him hell. She had been upset at him, disappointed even. He couldn’t bare to look at her the day before after their heated argument once they landed at the river house wards. He had locked himself in his study, locking the troves away, before he even had the guts to face his mate, try to explain himself… But there was no explain, he had no words for what he had done. Regret would not change his actions, nothing could erase the venom that had found his target. He had taken and taken, fueled by blind anger and had not consulted anyone before doing what he did. And now, the worst of all, the possibility of losing his brother.
Feyre had forgiven him, in a way, but Azriel… Azriel had never taken anything for himself, Azriel that always gave and gave not once asking for anything for himself. And yet…
“What did you do?” Azriel stormed inside Rhys study who looked at his brother calmly, locking away all that troubled his mind.
“This is the most emotion I’ve ever saw you show in the centuries I’ve known you, brother” Azriel scoffed pacing in front of Rhysand, definitely trying to control his power and anger. His wings flaring at each step around the study.
“I’m not here for a brotherly conversation, I want to know why you went back in your word, I want to know why I wasn’t told about any of it.” Azriel spat.
“You were too involved, plus it doesn’t matter.” Rhysand stood coming closer to Azriel. “She’s gone, they all are, and we have a war to win.” Azriel fist connected with a wall of darkness Rhysand had created to protect himself. “I’m not going to fight you Az. She’s not worth it.”
“You don’t know anything!” He screamed throwing his hands in the air.
“I would think sleeping with her would finally take her out of your system, yet…”
“What did you just say?” Azriel’s siphons shone brighter. A warning, but Rhysand couldn’t undo what had been said and done. Not before and certainly not now.
“I need you with a clear head, this is not who you are Az.” Azriel’s shadows became frantic in response to that, Azriel stilled looking into Rhysand’s eyes for a long time before he spoke.
“Is this a brotherly advice or an High Lord’s order?” Rhys back straightened at that.
“Az…”
“I’ll see to it, High Lord.” Azriel bowed his head and turned on his heels leaving without another word.
Rhysand stood in his study looking in the direction his brother had left. A wave of regret and sadness so intense coated his emotions. Such darkness like he hadn’t felt since…
Rhys? Feyre’s voice sounded inside his head.
I’m alright, I love you.
Let me come home.
Please do.
He allowed himself to cry. For his brother, for his mate, for his court. For not being strong enough to deal with everything the mother threw at him.
Feyre reached him as his knees hit the ground and Rhysand became lost is a misty cloud of darkness that spilled from within.
—
The ocean was so blue. The sun was high in the sky and there were barely any clouds. The perfect weather for the adventurers of the sea.
You took in the green lands approaching and took a deep breath, preparing internally for what you were about to do. All that you were about to risk.
Once your crew anchored the ship, you gave them intructions to stay. Bonnie and Sebastian were the only ones who accompanied you on the smaller boat to the spring court beach. Once you docked the boat you start walking but halted as your magic sensed someone was watching you. Bonnie and Sebastian had their swords drawn out in a fighting position behind you.
Looking around you had this dread feeling. You knew High Lord Tamlin was a mess after Feyre had left him. You had heard the stories of him roaming his own lands in his beast form. But something in your gut told you that it was not Tamlin in his beastie form, but something else. You used your control over the wind to get a sniff on the scents around you.
Cinnamon and embers. Interesting.
“Eris Vanserra.” You called out, amusement coating your words. “It’s been a while.”
You saw two of his hounds before he showed up. They sniffed and snarled at the three of you and you stayed still waiting for him to approach you. If there was something you knew was that Eris’s hounds would pounce at any sight of danger towards their master.
“Little witch,” He purred and then whistled making the beasts sit at his back, obediently waiting his next order.
“I have to say I was not expecting you to be here,” You said with a small smile.
“Ah,” He chuckled, “I could say the same of you,” He looked you up and down and frowned. “Where have you been?”
“Here and there, you know, wherever the waters take me.”
“Why are you here?” He crossed his arms and you cocked your head.
“I didn’t know you were responsible for the protection of the Spring Court, Vanserra.”
“I’m not, but I don’t see what business a pirate witch would have with the High Lord of the Spring Court.” You didn’t reply taking him in, he continued, “Specially after the dead of the infamous Captain Hook.” You rolled your eyes.
“If you must know, I’m here to offer my alliance.” His eyes narrowed on you.
“With whom?”
“Tamlin,” You said simply lifting your chin and crossing your arms over you chest. “After all, this court borders the human lands, he needs allies now more than ever.”
“Agreed,” He smiled like a cat, “But what do you have to offer?”
“My crew,” You smiled back at him, “My magic,” You took a step closer putting a hand on his arm making him lift a brow at you and his hounds snarl softly behind him. “Info on the Night Court’s plans.” You looked at him over your lashes.
“Hmm… I knew you stinked of them,” He snorted shaking his head, “You fucked the shadowsinger for Information, little witch?”
Your smile dropped and before you could even think your hand connected to his face with a gust of wind that knocked him to the side. His hounds were about to pounce on you but he gave them orders to stay back.
He laughed. “You sure still have some fight in you.”
“I don’t need to fuck anyone for information, Vanserra.” You snarled closing in on him.
“You just fuck them for the safety of your crew, right?”
“The only reason I ever fucked you, Eris Vanserra, was out of pity.” He chuckled.
“It sure didn’t feel pitiful when you were screaming my name, little witch.”
You were about to punch him again when the crunching of leaves announced the arrival of something… Or someone.
You both turned in the direction of the sound seeing the High Lord of Spring approaching in his beast form. He didn’t seem very happy to see any of you, his low growl announcing his discontent.
“Tamlin,” Eris bowed mockingly “Always a pleasure,” He winnowed so suddenly you almost fell back in surprise. He had left the three of you in the middle of the clearing with only the High Lord to deal with.
“High Lord,” You bowed not making eye contact with the beast, you barely notice when he shifted back into his fae form.
You were still bowing, hoping that Bonnie and Sebastian were doing the same, when his bare feet entered your peripheral vision. You lifted slowly taking him in.
“Get out of my lands.” His voice was hoarse as someone who hasn’t spoken in a while.
“I have a proposition… I think we can help each other.”
“I don’t care, get out, all of you.” You took a deep breath taking him in.
“First, you will listen to what I have to say.” You said firmly calling flames to your hands. He stood upright, stilled. He took in your rounded years and the magic you were conjuring. You could tell that a hint of fear coating his skin as he made to back up. Witch, he certainly thought. “I just wanna talk Tamlin.”
—
Azriel had been flying without any concrete direction for hours on end. His vision were blurred with images of Y/N left and right. How could she had left without telling him. After the night they had. How could Rhys had done such thing. Given such orders. Azriel had always felt like his heart was detached from him. Not worthy. But she had awoken something within him. Hope.
He had always looked around him, to his brothers. Wondering if he would ever encounter love, or his mate. But he had lost hope after falling for Elain and knowing she was mated to someone else. Even though she hadn’t accepted the bond… She wasn’t his to claim, despite his feelings towards her. Then Y/N… With all that light and darkness that matched his own. He would’ve known if she had been made for him, by now he would’ve known… But there was nothing that connected them other the feeling of being with her. Was it lust? Definitely. Love? Maybe… He had loved before, Morrigan for so many centuries… Elain for a couple of years… But Y/N… She called to him in a way none of them had. She touched him in ways that no one had. His heart had awaken just to be shaken all over.
Rhysand had done that. He had taken away the only thing that had his heart finally beating again.
But his first duty was to his court. His High Lord. So he put his heart back to sleep. Back into that pit of darkness. He had taken it out for a last chance at healing at now it was ripped to shreds once more. So it would be tucked away, where no one would reach. Not again. Training his army, learning his enemies secrets, torturing those who presented danger for his court. That’s all Azriel was in the end of the day. A weapon. So he would be one.
—
“What do you want Eris?” Feyre’s voice reached him as she walked out of the wards around the river house.
“I need to speak with Rhysand.”
“He can’t right now, so you will speak with me.” Eris blew out a breath in annoyance.
“Can you allow me in then?” He gestured to the wards and Feyre only nodded and they walked inside the house.
“What is he doing here?” Cassian’s voice boomed and Feyre gave him a reassuring look.
“He has something to tell us, care to join?” Cassian only nodded following them to the study, never once taking his eyes off the Heir of Autumn.
Feyre took a seat behind the desk, Amren was already seating on one of the chairs. Cassian stood by the door, arms crossed, his siphons shining brighter in warning of his mood.
“Your shadow singer is not attending this meeting?” Eris waved a hand around the room.
“Azriel is out for work at the moment. What is it you want Eris?”
“Ah…” He smirked. “So it has nothing to do with a certain pirate witch?” Eris felt the tension in Feyre and Cassian more than he saw it as they were trying to conceal it.
Amren snorted in dismissal. “So you’re here to prod in our court’s business?”
He took her in and cocked his head, “I was just wondering if you knew of her whereabouts?”
“Eris just say whatever it is you came to say,” Feyre said in annoyance.
“I had a very curious encounter with your witch this morning,” Everyone was in silence waiting for his next words. “In the Spring Court.”
“Well, shit.” Amren sighed.
—
Bonnie, Sebastian and you walked into the manor taking in the destruction.
“You think you can do it?” Tamlin turned to face you and you nodded.
“Might take me a couple hours, but I think so.”
“And you really believe this might work?”
“You need to show them that you’re back on your two feet with a right mind, otherwise they will walk all over you once more.” You stated firmly gaining a nod from the high lord.
“What if…” He closed his eyes taking a deep breath, “What if I'm not… back on my two feet?”
“Fake it until you make it Tamlin,” You smiled at him, then reached a hand to his arm. “Accepting help is not a sign of weakness, it only shows that you’re ready to take your life back into your hands.” He didn’t say anything as he strode back outside leaving you to it.
You turned to Bonnie and Sebastian. “You go to the nearest village, check on them, explain what is going on, let’s get this court back to what it was… or better than it was a least.” You smiled and they smirked at you. “Also, get the high lord some new clothes, he will need them.”
“Aight Aight Captain,” They chanted together making you giggle.
Once they were gone you started working. Taking a deep breath, you called upon your magic. The four elements working in tandem inside you, you felt their hum and unleashed it upon the manor. Building it back up from foundation to ceiling. Bringing life back to the once beautiful place.
—
It took you hours, you barely saw the sun setting in the horizon. The adrenaline of it all had consumed you so much you didn’t even realize how drained you were, just has you were finishing up you started seeing dark spots in the corners of your vision. Darkness consumed you right before you felt your body collapsing on the grovel outside the manor.
—
You woke up in a bed with silky sheets. Your head hurt so much and your body felt sore. How long had you been out, you had no idea.
You took in your surroundings. You were back in your room at the ship. You got up way to fast making yourself dizzy. You took a few seconds to regain posture. You had only a sleeping dress on. Your hair was down as you walked outside the room finding Sebastian sitting on a chair outside.
“Y/N!” He stood up taking you in a tight embrace. “We thought we had lost you.”
“I’m… Okay… I think.” You shook your head, “What happened? I was working on rebuilding the manor… I—“
“Tamlin found you passed out and brought you to the ship, he said it would be safer for you to recover here… He sent a healer from the village and they actually just left…”
“How long…”
“Two days… Also… There’s someone here to see you.” He said nervously and you took a deep breath.
“I’ll get dressed.” He only nodded and you entered your room putting pants and a shirt on. You didn’t bother with shoes or a bra as you walked into the dock.
You blinked taking in the male in front you.
“Lucien?”
----------------
Keeping this chapter shorter for suspense, heheheh
Let me know your thoughts about what you foresee that's going to happen! I'm very excited about this one!! <3
Also, thank you so much for the amount of love you've shown this silly little fanfiction of mine, it means the world!!
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a/n: Gosh I'm terrible at keeping up with posting, I'm really sorry! I'll try not to take this long again! But a very steamy chapter is here, so enjoy! <3
Warnings: NSFW, Minor DNI, +18, mentions of scars, shadow play
You hated lies, and you never meant to deceive. The truth was a bitch and you weren’t sure if it was best known or kept locked away.
But hearing Azriel’s words broke something within yourself you weren’t sure would ever heal. You heard his roar in the skies but you walked out of the town house and walked home. You quickly realized your mistake as you took in the tall building and the mocking 10,000 steps.
You scoffed at yourself and turned around walking into town. Soon you reached a bar and walked in taking a seat and ordering a drink. You drank it quickly feeling the burn on your throat from the alcohol and ordered another one sipping on it.
“I didn’t peg you for a drinker.” You turn toward the soft masculine voice and took in his familiar red hair. He had a few tiny braids that held his hair back on his left side while the rest cascaded over his right shoulder. His golden eye assessing you without so much of a head motion. He sported a small smile and you mimicked.
“I didn’t peg you for small talk…” You murmured.
“Lucien.” He said and you nodded. “I don’t think we ever got properly introduced.” He reached out his hands over the counter and you looked at it taking it slowly.
“What does a member of the autumn court does on the Night Court?”
“It’s complicated, what about you?” He grinned, “a pirate?”
“It’s complicated,” you grinned back nursing your drink.
“Fair,” He looked down on his drink pressing his thumb on the rim and you followed the movement “They don’t really make it easy for us estranged uh?”
You chuckled softly, “Certainly not,” You took a deep breath “But tell me, what keeps you here?”
“My mate,” he said softly and you heard the sadness in his voice.
“Oh…” you exclaimed surprised, “Did she…”
“No, she’s alive” He dismissed your dark thoughts, “Just in love with someone else…”
“Oh…” You looked away from his face taking a deep breath, “I guess we’re both on the same boat then…”
He looked at you frowning, “You have a mate?”
“No… At least not that I know of… It’s just… This male I got sort of close to…” you shook your head chuckling, “I thought he was different, but I think I was just choosing to ignore what was right in front of me...”
“I see…” He mumbled, “He’s a jerk.” You raised your brows at him questioning, “You seem like a good person, whoever that male is… He’s probably not worth it.”
“Did she ever accept the bond?” You asked after a few minutes of silence.
“No… I also never forced it, I guess the reason I’m still here is because I hope someday she will feel the way I do for her but… I think her judgment is too clouded for that…”
“She sounds like a jerk,” he looked at you, the corners of his mouth turning up slowly. “You know, you are a great guy and all that.” You winked making him laugh throwing his head back and you joined.
—
You ended up meeting with Bonnie at the inn your crew was staying at. Lucien had left for his apartment in the city after hugging you goodbye and wishing you good luck. You shared a bed with Bonnie and snuggled just like you had done so many times before when you were younger.
“Are you ready for this?” She asked while you finished tying up your boots.
“I don’t think I will ever be ready, but I guess I don’t really have a choice now, do I?” Bonnie put her hands on your shoulders making you look at her.
“You will always have a choice.”
“They need this to win the war, and I…” You took a deep breath shaking your head.
“I know, but don’t let your business with the spymaster mess up your plans for Hybern.”
“I want him dead.”
“He will die.” Bonnie reassured you and you only nodded.
Soon you, Bonnie and Sebastian were making your way to your ship. You told the rest of the crew to stay back. Rhysand might or might not know about your magic yet but you still wanted to show no threat.
As soon as you arrived you saw Cassian, Rhysand, Feyre, Nesta and Amren waiting. No Azriel. And that fact made your heart ache a little more.
You had spent most of the night awake thinking about what you had heard. The way his voice dropped with venom and hatred when he spoke about you.
You had only caught part of the conversation when they started talking about you. But it had been enough to understand his feelings for you. Lust was all he had ever felt. Nothing else. Just another female who almost fell for his charm.
“Shall we?” Rhysand nodded to you and you nodded back slightly.
You walked in front with your friends as you stepped on the little boat that would drive you to your ship. Cassian, Rhysand and Feyre had flown in while Sebastian roamed the boat. Nesta had told them she would travel with you instead of flying and you gave her an appreciative nod.
When you reached the side of the ship. Sebastian went up the side ladder rope first and then Bonnie, you helped Nesta before you went up after her.
“Guide us,” Rhysand spoke simply and you approached him.
“Before I take you to it… I wanted to say something” He only nodded, a silent permission to keep going, “I wanted to say thank you… I know I kind of came uninvited into your lives and haven’t been the most… grateful”
“Is that all?” Rhysand voice sounded colder than usual and you nodded finally guiding them in to your cabin.
You took the key that was in a chain around your neck and walked towards a cupboard at the end of the room. You could feel their eyes on your back. It opened with a click and you took a shuddering breath opening it wide. You felt it’s magic straight away. The dark power that coated the troves. Bonnie and Sebastian came closer and helped you taking them out: a sword, an harp and a mask.
You handed them to Cassian, Rhysand and Nesta. You turned towards the cupboard again and used another key to open a tiny compartment in the back. You took out a book that made the magic running through your veins hum in response.
Taking a deep breath you turned around and handed it over to Feyre who looked at it in confusion.
“What is this?”
“It’s how my father learned about magic while in Hybern… More specifically how to take our magic back.” There was no surprise in Rhysand’s face to the mention of your magic. He knew. Of course he did.
Feyre however seemed like the only one who was surprised by this news.
“Your magic? What…” she took a look at her mate, “you knew?”
“Why tell us now? Why not sooner?” He asked, deliberately ignoring her question and I frowned at him.
“I wasn’t sure… It’s not natural, what they did to me,” you spoke fighting your emotions, “I hate who I became because of it, I didn’t want this”
“You came here wanting an alliance and then you lied,” He scoffed, “You said you weren’t sure you could trust us and yet… You were the one hiding things from us. Tell me now… how can I trust you?”
You shook your head, “The troves… the book, I… I’m giving it to you…”
“And they will be very useful, but you need to go.” He said firmly.
“Rhys…” Feyre gasped.
“You promised!” You said pointing a finger in his direction, he waved a hand making the troves vanish. You breaths became faster.
“You also promised not to double cross me. I guess we both broke our words.”
“Rhysand you can’t be serious.” Nesta spoke, arms crossed over her chest. “They didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m not discussing this with you, Nesta.” Rhysand bit off gaining a low growl from Cassian which he ignored. “We are leaving now,” he turned to you, “I want you all gone off my city by tomorrow morning.”
You were too stunned to speak. You could feel Rhysand’s dark power encasing your ship and then gone as he winnowed himself and the rest of them away.
“I can’t believe he did that…” Bonnie broke the silence and you fell to your knees, hands on your face as you let the tears fall for a while.
“I’ll go get our things back!” Sebastian spoke angrily and you held his arm.
“No.” You simply said taking a seat by your desk, he stormed out pacing on the deck.
A few minutes and a lot of tears later you got up wiping your eyes with the back of you hand. “Where are you going?” Sebastian spoke.
“There’s someone I need to find before we leave.” You spoke firmly and left the ship.
—
You ventured yourself through the forest, your pace was fast and you kept replaying in your head the words you wanted to tell him. You weren’t sure where you were headed but something was pulling you in that direction so you followed your gut.
The sun was almost setting when you finally found him. Perched on a rock with the hems of his pants pulled up and his bare feet in the freezing cold water of the river. Azriel’s back was on you, his shadows looked almost frantic surrounding him that you could’ve sworn you had heard them whispering incoherencies.
You took some deep breaths before approaching him. You sat by him, he didn’t move or flinch or looked in your direction. He knew you were coming. His eyes were fixed on the running water that splashed his feet. His breathing was calm and steady. The anger you had sensed the day before no where to be seen.
“You hate me.” You broke the silence.
“I don’t hate you.” His voice was raspy like he hadn’t spoken in a while, he cleared his throat “I could never hate you.”
“I heard what you said, how you truly feel about me.” He said nothing so you continued, “I’m leaving… Tomorrow morning.” His head snapped in your direction, his brows furrowed.
“Why?”
“Rhysand has the troves… He doesn’t need me anymore… I was,” you chuckled sadly, “dismissed.”
“What… No, you probably misheard him… He said he wouldn’t.” He was shaking his head.
“He made it very clear… I guess I should’ve guarded my heart better,” you finally looked him in the eyes, “I trusted too easily, and all I got was heartbreak.” He did not speak, you took in his silence nodding. “I just wanted to say goodbye… I’m not sure why, but I actually liked you Shadowsinger…” you closed your eyes inhaling the cold air, “but even I am not stupid enough to try to claim an already claimed prize.”
“What are you talking about?” He whispered and you just shook your head getting up and heading out the forest not turning back.
Before you could leave the clearing you felt his hands on your arms holding you in place. His shadows swimming around you. Your breathing became shallow.
“Don’t go…” He whispered in your ear making goosebumps rise in your arms. His mint and cherry scent overwhelming your senses. You closed your eyes trying to calm your racing heart. “Please.” He whispered again kissing the crook of your exposed neck. He was so close you could feel his body heat.
“We can’t do this…” You turned around resting your forehead and hands on his chest. His heart was beating just as fast as yours. “You’re spoken for…”
“I’m not—“ you looked him in the eyes.
“You’re going to tell me you don’t love her?”
“Who are you—“
“Elain,” you whispered quickly looking away and felt his posture become rigid under your hands, “Azriel… I don’t know what you two have, but I don’t want in on that mess…” He was very silent and still.
“What do you know about it?” His voice was suddenly low and cold. Nothing like the Azriel who had just been kissing your neck. His hands slid off your arms, the only point of contact was your hands still on his chest.
“You love her.” He stepped back suddenly making you stumble back as well.
“I don’t…”
“Don’t do it Az.” Your jaw was clenched and you pointed a finger at him. “Don’t lie to my face like that.”
“She has a mate.” You dropped your hand to your side. Your mouth gaped with realization.
“Lucien…” You whispered looking around shaking your head. “You… Elain…” You took some steps back to create distance between you two and putting your hand to your forehead.
“I know how it looks and sounds,” He talked low and you looked at him wide eyed.
“Who is your mate Azriel?” You asked him suddenly and he gapped at you. He shook his head. “Who. Is. Your. Mate?”
“I don’t know.” He was looking at his feet now, his hands on fists on his side. He didn’t look at you as he spoke. “I thought… Maybe the mother was wrong, three sisters and three brothers… But she is not mine, for all I know I don’t even have a mate. We would’ve crossed paths by now.” He looked at you now, “I thought…” he sucked in a shaky breath, he stepped closer. “I thought you were my mate when we first met on your ship… it had made sense for me, but… there’s nothing, no light, no thread, no bond… “
“So what? You were trying to take me to bed to prove that I wasn’t your mate?” You stayed a few feet away from him, “And where does Elain stand in all this? Did she know?”
“She suspected after that night… But no, I never told anyone.”
“Rhys?”
“He doesn’t want me involved with you for political reasons and also…”
“Because of my magic.”
“Yes… We don’t know what you are still, we don’t understand.”
“I showed you what I am…”
“I know, but…”
“And does it even matter?”
“What?”
“The bond… what would’ve happen if you were in fact my mate? Rhys would just order you not to be? Because he doesn’t like it? Like me?”
“It’s not like that…”
“Please enlighten me.”
“If you were my mate,” He paused putting a hand to his face and moving it to his hair pushing it back. “If you were mine, no one would have anything to do with it.”
“But I’m not…”
“You’re not…”
“Then why are you trying to kiss me Azriel?” You stepped closer and he mimicked you.
“Because you vex me,” Another step forward, “Because when you’re near I feel rage, and lust,” another step, his forehead on yours, his eyes were slits, “I have no self control when you laugh or when you talk or when you lose your breath when I’m close.” His arm wrapped around your waist making your body flush to his. “I wanna kiss you, since that day in the dungeons.” He licked his lips, you could feel his hot breath on your face, “I wanted to kiss you since you first looked me in the eyes, seeing the worst of me and my power and you didn’t coward,” His lips brushed yours very lightly now, “I wanted to shut your wicked little mouth, and even whip you because I knew that day that you’d enjoy it.” A little whimper left your mouth and not even a second later his mouth was on yours. An hunger you’ve never felt before. You wrapped your arms on his neck using your nails to scratch the nape pulling him closer to you. A clash of teeth and tongue, you let our soft moans and you could hear his own soft growls.
He wanted you, mating bond or not.
And Gods you wanted him. So badly.
“I want you,” He whispered when you both stopped for oxygen.
“I want you… too” you said in between breaths.
“Come with me,” He was looking you in the eyes, pleading and your nod of approval was enough for him to take you from the ground wrapping your legs around his waist. His shadows wrapped around the both of you and you stopped feeling the breeze of the forest or the scent of pine. Instead you were suddenly in a dark room. His room, you quickly realized as you took in your surroundings. There wasn’t a lot of decoration but it was very him. A few books scattered by the side table and the king size bed neatly made.
“Where are we?” You asked as he put you down although you could’ve guessed.
“My apartment,” he explained and you nodded looking from the bed to him, suddenly nervous. “We don’t have to,” he reassured you taking your face in his hands.
“I want to.” You looked him in the eyes and then he was kissing you again, gentler this time, slower. He wrapped his tongue in yours in a slow and torturous dance as he walked you back towards the bed. The back of your knees soon hit it and he started kissing your neck while undoing your shirt, slowly sliding it off of you, first your shoulder, that he kissed once naked, followed by your breasts, which were still covered with your white laced bralette, he hummed in appreciation and kissed each nipple, now hardened, on top of the fabric making your moan softly. You put your hands in his hair as he kept descending. Kissing your belly and each of your scars murmuring praises as he did so. He ended up on his knees as he started taking first your boots off then your pants leaving your underwear on.
He looked up through his lashes and you parted your lips at the beauty of this man on his knees for you. He gave you a smirk, clearly smelling your arousal mixed with his own. Your hands still played with his hair as he put his nose on top of your panties and sniffed.
“Perfect,” He murmured and you bit your bottom lip holding in a moan.
It took him only a fast movement to be on his feet and throwing you on his bed making you yelp. You were on your elbows as he made a show of taking his leathers off showing off his muscles and tattoos. Your eyes traced each rippled muscle and each swirl as if you could devour it. His shadows were still there, more frantic than you’ve ever seen them and you stared in awe.
“Like what you see?” He purred removing his pants. No undershorts, only the sheer size of him. You looked in his eyes, cheeks flushed, you swallowed hard before murmuring, “Very,”
His grin was answer enough to let you know of his approval. He picked up his pants and took some sort of cloth out of his pocket. He grinned like a cat and then covered your eyes with the blind fold.
“What…”
“I want you to feel everything,” You were about to object when he added in a soft voice near your ear, “Trust me.” You only nodded.
He took hold of your ankles pulling you the edge of the bed. Spreading your legs wider he hoisted your legs on his shoulders leaving a trail of kisses from your ankle to your inner tight. He repeated the movement on your other leg making you whimper with desire. You couldn’t see him, and you suddenly understood why. The sensation of his hands, lips and tongue seemed ten times intensified.
His nose caressed your center on top of your panties just like before, but this time he used his hand as well pressing on your clit making you moan loudly.
“So wet and ready baby,” He purred and you swallowed hard, trying to controls your breaths.
“Please,” You begged getting a soft bite on the fabric right above your bud making you close your legs around his head which made him chuckle softly.
And as encouragement enough he put your underwear to the side licking you thoroughly. He made work of his tongue on your clit while he inserted two fingers inside you. His rhythm was slow and torturing, your moans were pleading, and he quickly ripped off the fabric making you gasp in surprise.
The darkness created by the blind fold and the knowledge of this male working on you plus all the sensations on your pussy, made your back arch off the bed and you were coming in his mouth with a loud moan. He licked you clean while you tried to recover from the mind blowing orgasm.
He removed the blind fold from your eyes and you sat up quickly kissing him hard. He held you by the neck kissing you back just as intently. You could feel the smile on his lips.
“Let me…” You reach for his cock but he held your wrists quickly tying them above your head.
“I’m not done with you just yet.” He said on a breathy moan and you swallowed looking into his hooded hazel eyes.
His shadows circled around your waist and center, you felt their coolness, which felt great because you were on fire thanks to the male in front of you.
“What are they doing?” Azriel only smiled sheepishly.
“I hope you like some shadow play.” You looked at him confused but your eyes widened as you felt two other shadows wrapping around your legs and holding them apart with a strength that definitely did not feel natural.
Azriel got out of the bed and you looked at him expectantly. He stood back in all his glory and you took him in. His wings were flared a little and he looked absolutely dangerous and delicious.
You saw him smirking as he also took you in appreciatively, then you felt it and almost came undone by it. You threw your head back whimpering as you felt his shadows working your nipples and clit. Their present almost ghostly, but their feel like feather light fingers. A flick on each nipple, and then they starting pumping in and out of you with lightness and speed.
Your mouth was open in a silent moan as they worked you and held you in bed. You felt yourself getting lost in all these new sensations, your core pulsing so strongly you were so close to a second orgasm.
“Don’t come,” Azriel voice boomed suddenly making you jerk your head up and finding his gaze.
“Az…” You plead but he came closer to you and suddenly all the shadows recoiled making your gasp.
“You’re so fucking mesmerizing,” He said lowly as he sat next to you pulling you into his lap so you were straddling him. “Did you like that baby?”
“Yes,” You murmured and he held your chin up kissing you softly.
“Would you like to do it again?” You nodded but he tsked, “Use your words love,”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to finish what they started?”
“Please.”
He kissed you softly once more before sitting you up and aligning his cock with your pussy. He thrust in slowly making you hold on to him tightly.
“I’d love to fuck you hard, but right now I just want to make love to you.” He whispered in your ear and your heart swelled with emotion.
“I’d like that.”
And just like that you moved in sync with him, he distributed kisses on your chest and neck. Nibbled on your bottom lip and as you heard him trying to hold back you whispered. “Please Az, do what you need to.” And just like that he laid you in bed thrusting his dick more franticly making your body ache in such delicious ways that you didn’t notice your orgasm building up and exploding. He came apart right after you and put his forehead against yours breathing decompensated.
“Beautiful,” He whispered smiling widely with his eyes closed.
“Beautiful,” You agreed, a lonely tear falling on your cheek as he kissed it away.
—
You were gone the next morning.
After spending the rest of the night in Azriel’s arms, both spent and tired. It was just before dawn that you silently left. Tears staining your cheeks as you boarded your ship with you crew and sailed away from Velaris.
“Y/N?”
“Hmm?” You wiped away the tears and turned to look at a very worried Bonnie and Sebastian.
“Where to, Captain?”
“South,” You turned facing the open ocean. “There’s a High Lord I have a visit to pay to.”
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a/n: I'm sorry for posting so late, I had a few rough weeks! Hopefully I'll be posting more regularly soon! I hope you enjoy this!
Warnings: Mention of scars, drinking
You had been called for a meeting at the River House the next morning. You were pretty sure it had to do with what Azriel had found out about you.
Azriel. The most confusing male you’ve ever encountered.
He was hot and cold. Fire and ice. His constant mood changes giving you whiplash.
You had not seen him after your encounter the night before. Nor Elain. You had no idea what he meant and you were even more confused about what kind of relationship those two even had. No one seem to take notice or even talk about it.
Rhysand had flown you back to the House of Wind and then requested this meeting you were about to have. He didn’t say anything else about it and you were anxious enough already as it is.
“Are you okay?” Cassian asked still holding you as you flew together.
“Hmmm?” You answered distracted. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.” He laughed.
“You’re a terrible liar.” You narrowed your eyes.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“If I have the answer,” He smiled.
“Are… Azriel and Elain mates?”
Cassian gaze seemed to unfocus a little and his lips tightened in a line. The usual smirk gone as he became suddenly serious.
“No.” He took a look at you as you nodded, then you were reaching the grass in front of a big mansion by the river and Cassian was putting you back on your feet.
“Wow,” you looked around in awe, “This is beautiful… and huge.”
“Y/N…” You looked at him once more, “Don’t mention it.” You blinked in understanding.
“I won’t.” He gave you an apologetic smile and made you to follow him inside the house.
You felt the wards as you walked through the door and you looked at the paintings on the walls, admiring. You knew that the High Lady was into painting but you had no idea she would be this good.
“Are they all hers?”
“Yes,” Cassian said simply, the smile, almost prideful, again on his lips. He guided you to a corridor that led to a set of double doors at the end.
As he opened them he let you in and you inhaled deeply to see the people waiting inside already.
Rhysand, Feyre, Mor, the female with the piercing grey gaze and… Azriel.
“Welcome to our home, Y/N.” Rhysand’s voice boomed in the silence that was heavy in the air. “I believe you haven’t been formally introduced to my second, Amren.” He pointed to the female and you swallowed hard in recognition.
“Amren, as in the horror bed time stories?” You spoke almost in a whisper and you saw the little grin she gave you.
“I guess we’re both the same if we follow that logic girl.” She spoke, her voice a soft purr. “Except we are from two different sides of the spectrum. A pirate you say?” That made you chuckle.
“I guess it depends, if the children really like Peter Pan they might resent me a little as well.” This made a few chuckles from the people around you and Amren simply sent her head back in laughter.
“I like you, girl.” You gave her a grin as she saluted you with her glass on wine. It was definitely too early for wine but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Now that introductions are done, we have serious business to talk about.” You nodded, “Y/N, you claim to have in your possession dread troves that were lost at sea,” You nodded again, “I allowed you and your crew to stay, shop and eat in my city, just like you asked, now I want to see them.”
You looked around the room taking a deep breath.
“I asked for an alliance.” You crossed your arms over you chest.
“I’ll make you a bargain then,” He said darkly, his hands resting on the table in front of him. “You give me the troves, I let you and your crew go.” You snorted a laugh shaking your head in disbelief..
“No,” You replied and he narrowed his gaze as you mimicked him. “I’m going to fight in this war Rhysand, now you must decide if it’s with you or against you.”
Silence fell once more in the room.
“You sure have balls girl.” Amren said from your left but you kept the High Lord’s gaze.
“Are those your terms then?” Rhysand asked and you nodded. “I’ll send word for you when I make my decision then.”
“You can’t possible be considering this.” Azriel’s voice came from you right.
“Can I go now?” You asked ignoring the spymaster’s words as it somewhat hurt you.
Rhysand waved his hand in dismissal. “Feyre, darling?” You watched as they clearly communicated something in their minds and then she walked over to you smiling.
“Will you join me for a walk before you go?” You simply nodded leaving the room with the High Lady in tow.
Rhysand might’ve told her to change your mind about this, but your mind had been made up ever since your father’s death. Hybern was your destiny to destroy. And no High Lord or Lady would take that from you.
—
You walked alongside Feyre through the gardens of the house and stopped in a gazebo by the river. She sat on one of the benches and you followed suit.
“I never knew happiness before I came to this place.” She said on a sigh and you looked at her intently. “I think if it wasn’t for him, I would be in a very bad shape by now.”
“You mean Rhysand.”
“Yes,” She was now looking at you, “Rhys is… a very good male, he doesn’t want you involved in this war with Hybern.”
“Rhys,” You spat, “Doesn’t know me, or how much I need this, to fight them, to make them pay for what they’ve done to me, to my crew, to my…” You cut yourself off shaking your head. “I will not back off on this.”
“I understand,” She said reaching out for you hand and giving it a squeeze. “I lost my father to Hybern too,” She smiled sadly, “During that first war, when we had to face them and we had lost all hope, my father showed up, sailing, bringing an army with him, he saved us somehow in the end… And yet, he was killed before we could even say thank you… or goodbye.” A stray tear fell on her cheek and you nodded in understanding. “I spent so much time hating him for not showing up… For not fighting and in the end he did… I know your father wasn’t the best of men… I’ve heard the stories but I also know you miss him… Even if only the good parts of him.”
She knew exactly how you felt, clearly better than anyone else. You had bonded in a way you hadn’t expected. When she reached out to you cheek you didn’t even realize you had starting crying.
“Hybern took way too much from us both, and I will talk to Rhys, we will fight this war, together.” She said pulling you into a hug and you welcomed it fiercely.
A friend. In the midst of darkness you had made a friend.
—
“If she wants to fight, then let her fight. She clearly knows the risks.” Mor said and taking a sip of her tea.
“They are not trained, and let me not even start on, they are humans.” Rhysand said exasperated, “I’m not going to be responsible for their deaths.”
Azriel was staring at the tiled floor, lost in thought when Amren said. “What is it shadow boy? The people in the city can hear your brooding from miles away.”
“Nothing.” He replied fast and Rhysand gave him a look.
“What do you know?”
“It’s not certain yet, give me a couple days.”
“What is it?” The High Lord insisted and Azriel adjusted himself on his feet.
“I think they have some sort of magic… But I’m not sure how.”
“Magic?” Azriel nodded.
“From what I saw, elemental.” Rhysand’s gaze turned dark, the inner circle members held their breaths waiting for orders on this new revelation about their guest.
“Find whatever you can about it.” He took a deep breath thinking about his wife alone with the pirate. “Don’t tell anyone else about it, this stays between us.”
“Feyre?” Mor questioned.
“Not yet. If Y/N learns we know, she might turn on us. For now we play by her rules.”
“Until when?”
“Until the troves are ours.”
—
Azriel left the meeting room going outside. He found her as easily as taking a breath. She had this beauty about her that made him flustered. That would make him think such ungodly thoughts he so deeply wished he could act on.
But the rational part of him was screaming trouble. A human with magic? Why would she hide it from everyone if it was just regular fae magic? There’s history of half-fae, when humans and faes mated. Was that it? Was she embarrassed of her lineage to hide such a big part of it?
Azriel wasn’t sure mentioning it to Rhysand had been a wise choice. He saw it as some sort of betrayal, and that’s why Azriel had been fighting himself over it. Was she a danger or a powerful weapon?
“Penny for your thoughts?” Feyre approached him taking him out of his thoughts and he gave her a little smile and a tilt of the head. “What do you think about her?” She nodded towards Y/N who was still sitting in the gazebo looking at the Sidra.
“She’s trouble.”
“I think she’s misunderstood.” Azriel cocked his head at his High Lady and she gave him a small smile. “Ever since she arrived everybody just assumed things about her… Yet, no one took the time to hear her out.”
“You think we should ally ourselves to them, then?”
“I think they… she deserves a chance.” Feyre gave him a knowing look, “We all were given one.” She patted him in the arm and disappeared inside.
Azriel took a deep breath looking at the female in the distance. She had her eyes closed and the sun was shining in her skin. She adjusted her hat in her head as she took a breath and then opened her eyes. Her gaze met his and her smile fell. Something inside him sank at that. Please don’t stop smiling. He wanted to tell her.
Realizing this he took a step back before disappearing into the shadows.
He felt himself falling, not in the literal sense, but in the sense that would bring you to our knees and tear you to shreds.
—
“We have a bookclub, me, Emerie and Gwyn, you should join us.” Nesta said encouragingly and you gave her a small smile.
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You are not! Meet us at 10 in the library,” She said walking away into her rooms and you laughed shaking your head.
You reached your own and entered taking your jacket, boots and hat off. You felt him before even seeing him.
“Sure, you can come in.” You rolled your eyes as you turned locking eyes with the High Lord.
“I gave this house to Nesta and Cassian but it is still mine, so I think I’m entitled.”
“Sure,” You raised your eyebrows, “What do I own the pleasure of your visit Your Highness?”
“I accept your terms,” He said, hands in his pockets, you furrowed your brows.
“Just like that?”
“Feyre spoke to me, I understand you better than you think I do.” He let out a breath, “Do you wish to tell me more about it?”
You took a deep breath, Feyre had told him, or showed him, your conversation. So he knew your intentions, and you wondered if you were wrong about him altogether. If he was willing to accept your terms and let you fight alongside him, to finish Hybern, maybe you could trust him with the whole truth.
You thought of Azriel, why hadn’t he mention it to his High Lord about your magic? Surely they would’ve confront you by now. Maybe you should hold on to that kernel of truth a little while longer… Just to be sure.
“Feyre was very understanding… It felt… Nice, to have someone actually hearing me and not… Judging me, for wanting pay back.” You said carefully, he eyed you carefully. “My intentions are not malicious Rhysand, I only want my life back. I want to end them, I want to be free of this… Rage.” You shook your head not allowing your emotions to take over you. You felt your magic tingling beneath your skin and you took a few breaths controlling it. He looked you over curiously and you silently hoped he didn’t notice it.
“Okay…” He said after a minute of silence. “When shall we retrieve it then?”
“I’ll meet with my crew, we can do it in two days time.” He nodded in agreement and then disappeared.
You took a shuddering breath and fell sitting on your bed and you cried. You let the emotions of the past few days take over and flow freely.
—
You woke up abruptly from a dream about Hybern and your father. You sat up on your bed panting, a hand in your heart trying to calm yourself down. You had burnt the sheets around you and embers flew around you.
The darkness outside told you it was way past 10, you had missed the bookclub with the girls. You felt so exhausted and you couldn’t focus on that right now. You looked around the room and screamed when you spotted Azriel in the corner of your room. Quickly covering your mouth and getting up from the bed you walked quickly towards him.
“What are you doing here?” You scream whispered and he cocked a brow lookin you over.
“I need to speak to you,”
“It’s the middle of the night, can’t we talk in the morning like normal people?” You were flustered and a chill went through your back, the wind coming from the open window. You then realized that half your sleeping dress was gone and you quickly grabbed a robe to cover you better.
“It’s important,” He insisted ignoring your panicked covering.
“What could be so important that it can’t wait?”
“I want to know about your powers.” There it was. You swallowed and then let out a chuckle.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know I know, and I know you know I know.” He purred coming closer to you.
“Then if you know why are you asking me about it?”
“Are you half-fae?”
“No,”
“How did you acquire magic?”
“Family…”
“You just told me you weren’t half-fae.”
“It’s… complicated”
“Try me”
“Fuck…” You shook you head, “It’s stolen… alright?”
“How?” You looked at him considering your options… Truth it is…
You took a seat in one of the leather chairs and it did the same across from you.
“A long time ago, my ancestors made a bargain with some high fae, they wanted immortality just like the fae. We had some elemental magic because of our side of witchcraft ancestors, however no immortality… The fae offered it to them but under conditions.” You took a breath licking your lips, “The conditions was that pirates had to stop stealing the sea and land treasures… However after the bargain was stroked, my ancestors broke it not long after… The high fae then cursed them, us, they took our access to our magic. My father found a plot hole when he allied himself with Hybern…” You got up and started pacing in front of him, “Pirates started stealing magic from the death… When fae die, their magic still remains in their bones… WIth a binding spell you can bind their bones to your skin and magic will transfer…” You took a shuddering breath removing the robe you had just put on.
You then proceeded to removed your night dress standing in front of him only in your panties. He didn’t say anything. He had gone very still taking in what you were showing him. There were four scars, two on each side of your ribs. Ugly and salient, like they hadn’t healed properly.
“He wanted his daughter to be his most powerful weapon… He didn’t want anyone to know until time was right…”
“Your father did this to you?” His voice was so low you barely heard the pain in his voice.
“They are the bones of four very powerful high fae who had elemental magic, air, fire, water and earth…” A tear escaped you and Azriel picked up your robe covering you up.
“He deserved his death.”
“I know.” Then Azriel hugged you and you sobbed in his arms as he held you tight.
—
You knew by walking into the living room of the town house that the news had spread. Rhysand had accepted an alliance. However you did not expect to find you whole crew perched in the couches and drink and hanging out with the rest of the inner circle. You have a little smile as Bonny hugged you tightly and whispered in your ear how excited she was about all of this.
“Your people sure know how to drink Y/N” Cassian chimed in making you laugh.
“Well, yes, of course, but the real question is, can you keep up?” You winked at him making some of them chuckle.
“Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe,” you smiled and you heard Nesta mumbling ‘Mother helps us’
Soon enough Sebastian, Lobo and Ledo were face to face with Cassian and Mor.
“We need one more to be fair,” Mor said eyeing the people around the room, “Az, come on”
“Absolutely not,” He rolled his eyes and you looked at him amused.
“You need to learn how to have some fun… Az.” He glared at you.
“I don’t need to get drunk to have fun.”
“You don’t need to get drunk at all, you just need to join, after all you are going to loose either way.” He looked at you with the challenge in his gaze and he took a seat next to Mor.
“We don’t loose.” He simply said and then it started.
Pint after pint of ale they all chugged it down. Your eyes were wide taking in Morrigan chugging it down with an easy you knew to not be natural. She clearly loved her drink and the amusement crossing her face told you she also loved the challenge. You took a look at your team as they emptied mug after mug. The score was tight and when Bonny called it time, your crew had lost for 5 pints.
Cassian got up whooping in contentment picking up Nesta over his shoulder making her yelp and laugh. Morrigan was cleaning her lips with a victory smile and Azriel… He was smiling! Grinning more like it, but his mask was definitely slipping and his eyes… they were bright and set on you. You found yourself grinning back at him.
After the talk and you calming down the night before, he left without another word. His demeanor felt… Heavy, confused and angry. At you or your father, you weren’t sure. But you knew anytime now the High Lord would know… and maybe you should come forward first, but as you eyes found his across the room, directly behind the spymaster you decided against it.
Rhysand clapped him in the shoulder catching his attention and they exchanged a few whispered words. Azriel demeanor turned back into that familiar darkness and you looked away only to find Elain coming in your direction and settling down next to you.
“Hi,” she spoke softly and you smiled a little at her distracted by the interaction.
“Hi…”
“Feyre told me you will be going back to you ship tomorrow to retrieve some things… I still would love to come visit.” She asked politely taking you by surprise.
You were still embarrassed by what she had seen. Not that you and Azriel were actively tangled but you could definitely understand the heated discussion could’ve been easily mistaken by something else… And even if nothing happened between the two of you… You knew something was up between the two of them, and it just made things so much awkward…
“Uh… sure” you finally replied and she beamed.
“Ah! I’m so glad!” She put a hand on your arm making you look at the contact point and giving it a squeeze. “I think we will be great friends!” She said and left you alone, confused.
—
“Tell me everything,” Rhysand’s voice boomed darkness as he settled down on his study. Azriel kept his back straight, sobering up fast from all the alcohol he had ingested.
“I think we were wrong… About them.”
“How so?”
“Let me show you,” Rhysand only nodded easily entering the spymaster’s mind as he showed his the conversation between him and Y/N.
“You sure?” The High Lord questioned.
“I didn’t feel any deceit from her… And the scars,” He swallowed hard with disgust thinking back on them. On how they looked awful and distorted, painful. How they reminded him of his own torture. “You can’t fake those…”
Rhysand nodded lost deep in thought. “What do you think I should do then?”
“Let her fight.”
“I’ll decide after we retrieve the troves… Only then I’ll be sure.”
“Rhysand…”
“I think you should stay away from her…”
“What?”
“You are feeling too much for her Az,” Rhysand stood up walking towards his friend, “She will only break you heart.”
“I don’t… Have feelings for the pirate.”
“You forget my gifts Azriel,”
“She’s just a pretty face, I care for her as much as I care for the girls in the pleasure hall.” Azriel said coldly, pushing his true feelings away. Guarding himself, protecting his own heart. Not again.
A gasp. They both turned their heads to door only to hear running steps. Azriel jaw locked in rage as he took the calm look on Rhysand’s face.
“You knew.”
“It’s for the best Az…”
Azriel shook his head in disbelief and turned stomping away. Trying to find her. Trying to find Y/N and explain… But what could he say? Nothing would change the fact he couldn’t do this right now.
With a roar of rage he took the skies and flew, away.
-----
I'm sorryyyyyyyy!!! Oh my, oh my, please let me know your thoughts!!! Rhysand is playing the devil here a little bit... What is going to happen???
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