thinking about how my trauma started so early it didnt change me it literally shaped me and im so angry
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@its-so-did
thinking about how my trauma started so early it didnt change me it literally shaped me and im so angry

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“Don’t you dare give up. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.”
— Unknown
someone: *raises their voice*
me: death is so close i can practically taste it
someone: *raises their voice*
me: death is so close i can practically taste it

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Bonus: 

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“My God, my God, whose performance am I watching? How many people am I? Who am I? What is this space between myself and myself?”
— Fernando Pessoa, from The Book of Disquiet (1982)
emotional self-harm exists and is fucking horrible
going back to an ex you KNOW will hurt you? consuming media you KNOW that triggers you? isolating yourself when you KNOW you need help? that’s a form of self-harm and needs to be acknowledged first to get help.
to be clear; this isn’t a callout. this is recognizing that emotional self-harm is a form of harm.
take this as a gentle reminder that your pain is real, that you are heard, and, most of all, to reach out for help.
emotional alter:
*crying, shaking, having a mental breakdown*
*switches*
carefree protector:
nothing matters, life is temporary, I have so much energ- oh lOOK BUTTERFLIES!
someone: ‘are you angry with me’ me, dissociated as h*ck: ‘no. well. part of me is angry with you, but then another part of me just feels sad but then I’m not really feeling anything at all and another part kind of feels guilty but then no honestly I’m fine but really I just- no, I don’t know’
when you’re explaining one of your symptoms to someone without DID/OSDD and they respond with ‘oh but everyone gets that!’

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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thinking about a thing: okay but did this actually happen, did I dream it happened, did I think about doing it but didn’t do it or did I only hear someone talking about it in the headspace??