worlds a w a y ~~

He slung his guitar onto his back securely, making certain the poor ol’ instrument hadn’t endured another dent of damage. It still astounded Mercury how well it played after years upon years of constant abuse. He was lucky enough to wake up each day and have it make beautiful music, instead of the devilish, out-of-tune nonsense he expected. Really he was a fortunate man all around.

A smile crept onto his face at Sierra’s words. “I wholeheartedly agree.” he said, stepping up onto the porch and entering the house at her heels. He observed the layout of the living room, which was unsurprisingly similar to his, although admittedly she was more gifted in interior design. His own home was half-empty, not having nearly enough possessions from the years to fill it with.

Merc sat on the question. It was one he received often, but he was always made to give an answer that someone else surmised. “There was a woman who played this exact guitar in Five,” he explained. “I was the one of the few who watched her, and I suppose she saw something in me. Every time I visited her, until the day she disappeared, she taught me a new song. It was a wonderful gift.”

He seemed to mull over her question in his head and while he did Sierra busied herself. She pulled out the hot chocolate mix, marshmallows and some candy cane crush that June loved to sprinkle on top of her cup. The kettle sang as it began to boil and it made the kitchen even more cozy. Sierra turned her head when he spoke, leaning on the counter. 

“She sounds like the kind of woman the world needs more of,” Sierra replied. “You’re quite lucky to have someone take care in you like that. There’s not enough of that.” When her father died no one came to her and her mother’s aid. When her mother died and Sierra came out of the Arena, no one had come to her aid for years. For someone to see another like that and give them something full of joy, it was what their country needed. 

The kettle boiled and Sierra filled up the mugs with the boiling water, stirring them. “Marshmallows?” she asked, as June bounded in fixing up her own mug with marshmallows, candy canes, and some whipped cream she pulled from the fridge.

“There have always been people willing to help, they just need a way to help,” Cambric told his friend. Every part of him wanted to believe there were people desperate to help, but they didn’t know how to help. Cambric was certain people were afraid of the power the Capitol wielded. 

He looked at Sierra a long moment. “Maybe I am already helping,” Cambric told her knowing Sierra was bright enough to put the pieces together and not to make a scene about what he just said. Sure the streets were loud and busy, but you could never be too careful with who overheard you saying things. This was the Capitol after all. “I am a helpful guy after all.”

Cam was eternally optimistic, so much more than Sierra ever was. It was great and a source of light, but Sierra wasn’t able to have the same belief. Maybe there were people willing to help, but they would never act on it. It was too hard, too scary, and there was too much at risk. Sierra didn’t necessarily blame them for that, but it was just the truth. Help could only come from those brave enough to stand up. 

Sierra couldn’t help but beam up at Cam. Her hunch was right and it made her proud to call him her closest friend. “What if I told you that I have helped. And that something came along that stopped me from helping for a while. And what if I said I want to really help, like make big changes now.”

She held onto Cam’s arm, waiting for his answer. Sierra wanted to do more than help now, more than what she did before. She wanted to affect the way that the Rebels worked. She wanted to make them better.

“You got it.” He wasn’t one to go out of his way to please people unless he cares about them, and maybe, he was growing to care for Sierra and June. What started out as a small book exchange turned into an unlikely friendship and Fell appreciated that friendship. June was part of the picture, too, and while he felt he didn’t do well with kids, June seemed to like him all right, too. But he had promised her candy, so that could have very well played a part in that.

“If it’s anything too in depth with castles, I’ll skim over those details in my summaries.” Fell tucked the book beneath his arm, reaching for her phone when she offered it to him. He did have a phone, it was almost a requirement for his team to stay in touch. Or for Ares, to urge him to go outside once in a while and bug him with random texts. So he punched in his number for her and he offered it back. “Shoot me a text and let me know it’s you. If it’s a number I don’t know, I won’t answer.” Usually it was someone from The Capitol annoying the ever living hell out of him, anyway.

The only other homes he had really been to was the Garcia home for dinners with Serenity, her mothers, and Ares. Sometimes even Alex, too. He had been to Ares’ home and a very long time ago, even Eladora’s. But at most he had only been at the front porch or front steps of the other homes, never really going inside. Still, he gave a small nod, “Yeah, sure, we could do that. I might bring over a couple other ones in case I make another not so great choice.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” Sierra said with a smile. She took the phone back, opening up her messaging app and sending a quick little text to Fell saying it was her. She added a little smiley face to the end, before tucking her phone back in her pocket. Not a lot of people tried to contact her. Often it was Cam checking before popping over or it was Cordelia checking in to make sure she came by with June for check-ups. It would be nice to have another person that would be checking in. 

She smiled, placing her lightly bandaged hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. Honestly, I should try and get over it. I’m missing a whole lot of wonderful stories because of it.” Sierra was definitely putting on a bit of a nonchalant face. The memories castles brought up were not ones she wanted to relive. They were the ones that stayed in her little mind box. Along with Hawke’s death and her parents’ deaths, they only came out at night or when she was reminded of them. 

“We don’t know that your choice is bad quite yet. I’m doing okay. It’s on my bedside table and not hidden at the back of one of my bookshelves. A good sign really.”

“No, you’re right, more than one person needs to be taking charge.” Cambric wasn’t afraid to admit that. Whoever was in charge now needed a lesson or two on how things worked. Not that he was an expert, but even he knew there were limits and a time scale that should be considered when planning big events. “I hope there are more people here that agree that what’s going on in the Districts isn’t right.”

Cambric chewed his lip a moment. “Though sometimes I wonder how many of us are willing to fight? We’ve been through so much. I suppose I can’t blame people if they didn’t want to.” Not to mention most Victors were from Career Districts. Cambric didn’t expect any of them to ever want to join.

She nodded along with Cam. These were all things that had swirled around her mind the past few days. The constant sting of her wrist spurred her thoughts forward. It always started the same, what if something worse happened? What if June was left alone to be sent back to Ten, where Sierra had no family? What if June was with her? One of those thoughts meant she had to join the rebellion, to change the way Panem worked, so kids wouldn’t be left alone. The other meant that she had to change the rebellion. It was a lot of work and required help from like-minded people.

“Hope is good Cam. We can hope that there are people around here willing to help.” She stopped, tugging at his arm to follow suit. Her eyes watched June step up to a lit front door. “I am willing to help,” she whispered, her eyes moving back to meet her best friend’s. “Do you think you would want to help too?”

In his youth Mercury had grown to enjoy the presence of children. They understood what it was like to dream. If only his own persistent imagination was encouraged past a certain age, then maybe he’d have turned out differently. Less a thrall to the Capitol, more a ruler of himself. It was such emotional and mental anguish that didn’t belong in a moment like this.

He knelt down to June’s height, strumming higher chords and humming. It wasn’t often he attracted a joyful audience on his walks around the Village. He knew why — because everyone around him simply wanted to live in peace and quiet — but it was a fate that he could not relate to in any capacity.

Once the short song had met its end, Merc pushed himself back onto his feet. “I’m afraid it might sound the same the rest of winter. It’s nice to see people welcome the music during times like these.” he said honestly. 

His hands were numb, the icy strings of his guitar not helping his case, but nonetheless he had persisted playing throughout the dreary night. “That sounds wonderful, thank you.”

June smiled at Mercury, trying her best to tap to the beat. Music was not one of June’s strengths but she admired and coveted just the same. Her Capitol tutor would often break out their violin when June asked for it, June promising to do her work harder after they played. It was soothing for Sierra hearing the music through the ceiling to where she was working in her office at the back of the house. 

When the music stopped, June clapped happily and Sierra joined in before crossing her arms to keep herself warm. “Even if the streets are silent, it doesn’t mean the warm hearths are the same,” she replied, beckoning Mercury to follow into their house. She took off all her outdoor gear and moved to the kitchen to turn the kettle on. 

When Mercury came into her vision, Sierra smiled, pulling out three mugs, two larger and one smaller. “Where did you learn to play like that?” she asked, pushing the sleeves of her knitted sweater up her arm a little.

“Noted.” He spared a glance toward Sierra with a hint of a smirk to show he was teasing. Fell didn’t usually show a lot of interest in dealing with kids, yet he had taken Ares in when he was eleven, even talked with Emmy and Sterling Rosseau, and managed not to scare away June. Not that he had hoped to, but he didn’t see himself getting along very well with kids. From what he knew, Ares had been the exception. But that theory was being debunked the longer he stuck around with Sierra and June.

Fell stood next to Sierra, hands still in the pockets of his jacket even as June had darted up toward them. At first he assumed she was going to show off the candy to her mom, but instead, June called for him, darted straight for him and flung her arms around him. 

His brow rose as he looked down at June as she thanked him. For a moment Fell didn’t know what to do, completely caught off guard by the gesture. But he didn’t want to just stand there like a deer in the headlights. So one hand slipped from his pocket and he reached out to ruffle the fur hood on top of June’s head. “Told you, Little Wolf,” he replied. He spared a glance toward Sierra before stepping back from June and giving a nod down the street, “Let’s keep going, yeah?”

Sierra laughed. “It’s the easiest way to be high on her list. But, as her mother, I ask that you keep the candy supply low until at least after the winter holidays. She’s going to be permanently hyped until after then.” It was a blessing that June liked Fell this much. She wanted to spend more time with him and she suspected soon he would coming by as they exchanged books. 

He seemed surprised which was what Sierra was hoping for. One thing she did love doing for the few people she was close with, was give them perfect gifts. And Fell was becoming one of those people. It was why she loved the winter holidays dearly even if she didn’t quite like the temperature of it. 

“I think I will be okay. If not I’ll have to get you to fill in the details of the parts I skip over. Expect phone calls if that happens,” she replied, smiling. Then she realized she didn’t really have his phone number. “Actually, I will need your phone number for that to happen,” she added sheepishly, holding out her phone to him. 

She quirked her brow at the tease. “Already lined up? I have to get into gear then. Did you want to come over to talk about our books when we’re both done? Then we can swap new books?”

“Noted.” He spared a glance toward Sierra with a hint of a smirk to show he was teasing. Fell didn’t usually show a lot of interest in dealing with kids, yet he had taken Ares in when he was eleven, even talked with Emmy and Sterling Rosseau, and managed not to scare away June. Not that he had hoped to, but he didn’t see himself getting along very well with kids. From what he knew, Ares had been the exception. But that theory was being debunked the longer he stuck around with Sierra and June.

Fell stood next to Sierra, hands still in the pockets of his jacket even as June had darted up toward them. At first he assumed she was going to show off the candy to her mom, but instead, June called for him, darted straight for him and flung her arms around him. 

His brow rose as he looked down at June as she thanked him. For a moment Fell didn’t know what to do, completely caught off guard by the gesture. But he didn’t want to just stand there like a deer in the headlights. So one hand slipped from his pocket and he reached out to ruffle the fur hood on top of June’s head. “Told you, Little Wolf,” he replied. He spared a glance toward Sierra before stepping back from June and giving a nod down the street, “Let’s keep going, yeah?”

She was just as surprised  as Fell to see June bound into Fell’s arms. An astonished smile made its way onto her face and Sierra watched with interest what was about to unfold. Fell seemed to be just as caught off guard, but to his credit it took only a moment for him to shake it off. And instead of being surly or aloof, Fell ruffled her hair. 

It was hard for Sierra not to just burst into happiness, but she kept it to herself. It always made Sierra’s heart bigger when other people saw was as special as she did. And that little gesture, the little nickname solidified that she thought Fell thought the same way. 

She smiled when he glanced in her direction, nodding slightly to affirm his course of action. “There are still plenty of houses to hit up, Junebug. Go on.” June gave her mom a quick hug and bolted forward, joining a group of other kids at the next house. “She seems to really like you. You are definitely high on her list of people she likes.” 

Sierra reached into her little basket, pulling out the wrapped book and placed it into his hands. It was as good a time as any to give him Leviathan Wakes which she loved just as a science fiction novel and if he was caught the next novel in the series would have more of the romance she wanted to inject in his life. She smiled at him. “I think you’re going to like that one. Not too much romance but there is a lot of action. I’m finally able to start the one you gave me and so far I am actually liking it. Haven’t run into many castles yet.” 

The Village’s winter arrived in increments; a light dusting of snowflakes overnight heeded you, then came the sudden, stark breezes that raised sharp goose flesh on your neck, and finally the mellow autumn ambiance fizzing out in the grey film of a slow-brewing blizzard, the whole world collapsing in on itself. It didn’t have to be entirely suffocating however, not in Mercury’s opinion, at least. It was his life long experience in District 5 that dictated this within him — a childhood in the upper Midwest of Panem was not intended for the faint of heart. He learned to make do, what with all the time he was concealed indoors in between shifts at the power plant.

Merc also built up a resistance to the cold. His skin had no other choice, all those nights in the raw snow, it was either adapt or lose all his limbs and appendages in a stubborn fit. So, in spite of the biting wind, he gladly took his company around the Village, strumming his guitar, singing old holiday songs from Five. He ambled by houses, probably appearing drunk although he’d been sober for nearly fifteen hours. He couldn’t say it was a terribly frequent occurrence that someone paid attention to him whenever he made these musical strolls, but what else did he expect eventually?

Blinking, unfazed, he continued to lazily strum, cocking his head sideways. “Sorry, didn’t mean to be a bother. It’s just so quiet around here. It’s deafening, even. Absolutely insufferable.” 

( @uvstarters​ )

June was the first to hear the music. They had settled by the fireplace after dinner, each reading their own book. Sierra absent-mindedly stroked her daughter’s hair as they sat together in their own worlds. 

Scrambling up, June made for the front window, seeing the Victor who was making his way around the Village strumming away. Sierra soon joined her daughter and it only took June a couple of seconds to throw on her jacket and scarf, stuffing her little feet in her snow boots. She threw open the door and a blast of winter came into the house. 

Sierra grabbed her own coat, stuffing her feet into a pair of warm moccasins and shuffling outside. June sat on the steps of the porch smiling at Mercury. Sierra smiled at him as well, shaking her head as he spoke. “Yeah, there hasn’t been much sound other than the cold breeze the past couple of hours. And you don’t have to apologize, at this house you’ll always have a rapt audience.”

She looked at his hands and wondered if his hands were freezing out here. She already was. District Ten had always been warm when she was younger. “Do you want to come in for a cup of hot chocolate? You can always play where it is warm for a little bit.”

“Didn’t you hear, I am an old man.” Cambric pointed out with a laugh. There were certainly days he felt like it compared to the shiny new teenaged Victors. Then again, they could only hope to look as good as he did by the time they reached their thirties. He had been blessed at least with good looks to balance out the life he had been forced to live and endure.

He nodded. “They need to or they’re going to burn their fire out before it even gets going.” It was like he told his tributes, if you gave a fire too much air it would burn out. Not enough air and it would never catch. “I mean you have to work up to big things. Get people on your side, not just scare them.” Cambric paused for a moment. “Most people alive have only known the Capitol. It’s not a great life but a lot of people don’t like change. The life they have, it’s not fair, but it’s predictable. You know what you’re getting and there’s comfort in that.” He wasn’t sure people were ready to give that up just yet.

He frowned. “But she wasn’t there. Don’t go down that rabbit hole.” It was one you could not come back out of easily once you went down it. “You’re right though, they shouldn’t put innocent children in risk. I mean as much as I hate the lifestyle of the Capitol, some of these people don’t deserve injury either. They were born into their lives as much as you or I were. Grant it, they could be doing more to change things, but still… Killing people outright is something the Capitol does, you know?”

“Even if it built up to this point, I don’t think they should attack randomly anywhere. Not with civilians. That’s not fair to the people who were born here. I don’t want to treat Capitolites like they treated us. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” There was going to be a fight, no matter how this all shook out, but if Sierra could do something about innocent lives being taken, she would. No one was going to make a mother cry over a child or a child live without a parent, not if she had anything to do with it. 

She bit her lip. Hawke was one of those people that was a Capitolite and doing more to change the world. “There are Capitolites working against the system. Not everyone here thinks what is happening to the Districts is right.” Sierra tightened her grip on Cam’s arm. “Someone needs to step up, maybe even more than one person.” 

She glanced up at her best friend. She wondered if he had already pledged himself to the cause or if he would not get involved. Knowing Cam, Sierra would guess the former. 

“No offense taken, especially on Eladora’s behalf.” At this point, he could have cared less what happened with that woman in life. While he wasn’t the kindest person in the world either, Eladora Carnahan was a cruel woman. And it wasn’t just for kicking an eleven year old Ares Carnahan out of her house, either. The Victors from Two had a particular reputation for themselves, as did most of their Tributes. He was used to the outer Districts keeping them at arm’s length. But he did appreciate Sierra’s offer for Ares. “He might like that.”

Fell let out an amused huff. “Fair point. Seems like she’s got quite a bit of energy in her without all the sugar.” He glanced over at Sierra and nodded, “All right. Rumor has it, anyway, that one of the houses is giving out caramel apples.” He couldn’t remember if it was the girl from Nine or Seven, but there was enough going on in the Village to not warrant a trip to The Capitol. 

Sierra had no idea if it was normal for  someone to bring over a ‘i’m-sorry-you-were-also-caught-in-the-explosion’ pan of brownies, but at the positive words from Fell, it might not be a bad idea. Everyone deserved something nice to happen to them, well except for Eladora if some of the things about her were to be believed. “Well he’s probably going to also get a June tagging along if she finds out I’ve made brownies for someone that isn’t her.”

She let out a relieved breath, hoping that Fell’s knowledge would prevent June from asking about the Capitol. “It is truly a sight to behold when June is excited and also pumped with sugar. I would highly suggest avoiding our house over the next couple of days–maybe even weeks–unless you want an excited June pulling you into whatever thing she’s doing. She’d even pull you into her lessons if her tutor is over.” 

Sierra watched from the edge of the path to the García’s house. An older woman opened the door and happily gave June some candy, maybe a little more than number. She saw her daughters mouth moving quickly which definitely her explaining the situation. Sierra smiled at the woman before the door closed. “Fell!” June called, running up the pathway and wrapping her arms around him. “She gave me more candy. Thank YOU!” 

“That sounds absolutely perfect.  Any excuse to let them run off the extra energy sounds perfect.”  Kids their age were full of energy and sometimes it could be a lot to handle.  They could have fun too, which was a nice bonus.

She half shrugged, not sure what Sierra would want to do but she wouldn’t question it.  If she wanted to do something once she was feeling more up to it then nothing would stop her.  “Alright.”

Nodding in understanding, Glitter sighed.  She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be in Sierra’s shoes.  Losing Silver had hurt, but sometimes she doubted he was the love of her life.  It was the Games.  They both knew what would happen.  “Well, adoption is always an option too, if you get the urge to give her a sibling,” Glitter suggested.  “But I’ll warn you having two of them is double the work.”

Sometimes the way she acted and spoke, Sierra wondered if people thought that the Capitolite that she told people was June’s father was more than just the dad. She never spoke about Hawke unless it was to June and her daughter didn’t even know his name, just for her own safety. The only ones who knew Hawke by name were Lucus and Cordelia, but that was because they knew Hawke, and knew nothing about their romantic relationship.

Sierra smiled. “I don’t know if I ever will have the urge. It’s hard to raise one on their own. I don’t know how you are able to do it.” She wondered if things were different and if her and Hawke had actually made it, if they would have wanted a bigger family. But, now all he was, was her first love and father of her child. 

“How’s Emmy taking everything that’s going on? It’s a lot for me to process, I wonder what it’s like being a teenager in all of this.”

“That is why you’re my favorite,” he told June with a laugh knowing the little girl would be true to her word, which made it all the cuter. If only the kids could stay that way forever. Cambric was willing to sacrifice whatever needed to be sacrificed if he could bring that future to the Junes and Waverlys of Panem. He wanted to think soon they could live in a world full of holidays, fun, and not worrying about Reapings.

Cambric did a little twirl for Sierra. “Oh, come on! You know perfectly well who I am. Would it help if I said, may the odds be ever in your favor?” Cambric said in his best imitation of President Snow. “Next year, I am definitely going to be Caesar. Much more fun. These clothes are often stifling.”

He nodded because he was glad to hear she was doing better. “I think there are some bold people in the Rebellion,” Cambric admitted. “I think they need to slow down a bit. Change is a good thing, but you need to pace it right. Ease people in it. Throwing this and that in their face all the time isn’t going to make people come to their cause, you know?”

Sierra tried to hide her smile, but it was hard when Cam was doing his best to make her laugh. The smile was one of bewilderment. His jokes had no bound and it was worrisome sometimes. But in this isolated moment, it was rather funny. “Well old age suits you really well. It’s good to get used to it before it comes soon,” she teased, pulling at the white wig he was wearing. “I am sure Caesar will be honoured to see you dressing up as him. Really trying to get into the mindset of old man aren’t you?”

What Cam says was a little bit of an understatement. Her wrist throbbed at the thought of what the Rebellion thought was necessary. “They need to change their tactics completely,” Sierra said, her voice just above a whisper. She moved closer to Cam, threading her arm through his so they could speak quietly. “No random attacks, nothing this dumb and blatant. They need someone else to help them figure this out but in a way that isn’t reminiscent of the Capitol.”

Sierra took a breath and she wasn’t sure if she should tell anyone, even Cam, that she was going to (re-)join the Rebellion. After her wrist was recovered, Sierra was going to send some notes via her old contacts and see what she could do to help. Enough was enough. “What if June was there Cam? It’s unacceptable.”

“Oh, absolutely. Archie and I would deeply appreciate the visit.” Cordelia replied with a genuine smile. There was only so much she could do in that new mansion before the loneliness creeped in. Sometimes she’d rather speak to the walls than answering the phone calls. At least, they promised to be more understanding than the peacekeepers standing by her front door or the grandfather on the other end of the line.

Cordelia finished putting on some latex gloves as Sierra complied with her suggestion. Bringing the stool a bit closer to the examination table, she studied the zones that would’ve been protected by smooth skin if it hadn’t been for the thoughtless agenda of a few that had replaced it for raw and weeping flesh in various shades of pink and red. “Not at all. It’s actually much better than I thought it’d be.” She reassured the victor with a nod before pointing out some specific spots. “The skin discoloration you see here is a result of the normal healing process, as you may now by now. This is no cause for alarm.” At this point, Cordelia could only assume wounds, burns and scars were nothing out of the ordinary for Sierra. It seemed like learning about those things guaranteed their survival not only inside an arena, at least not anymore. “You should know they’ll want to expedite the healing process with rather abrasive methods.” She shook her head slightly in disapproval as she reached into a drawer of the medical cart by her side and took out some cotton pads. With delicate touches, she applied a bit of cleanser on Sierra’s hands before rinsing away all traces of it and patting the skin dry. “But we’re not going to be sticking to that rulebook, alright?” She said, looking up at Sierra as she took out an amber glass jar and held it up. “If you promise me you’ll use this each night and take simple precautions in the sun, we’ll stick to making those go in a more natural way.” She took a bit of the ointment with her fingertip and gently massaged it into the skin until it had all disappeared before adjusting a new bandage.

“Yes, other methods work faster but they’re just a nice way of covering what we’ve been taught to refer to as imperfections without getting to the root of the problem…” She realized she preferred the silence when she thought about her words twice and how they could be referring to the overall situation of Panem. Manipulation with subtle violence had become an important practice of the political system. It put its people where it wanted them to be…and it brought results quickly. But it only gave a temporary peace ouf of fear without actually working on the reasons why some felt the need to stand up for themselves. Hawke would’ve said the source of all troubles was the reign of terror, autocracy, oppression. But what if he had lived to see those he supported were leading down the same road of destruction? Was Sierra willing to support a bunch of people that had just proven to her life was as worthless as it had been for President Snow when she was in that arena? She had been in the market and not even the fact she was a victor, someone who had been deeply important to a man that had been executed for helping them, a mother, a human being had stopped them from causing the explosion. Could she dismiss this, knowing she had been as much of a prey as she had been in the games? There were rules in an arena. There was a preparation. But the rebels offered no heads up. No rules: they attacked wherever they wanted, whether the victims could be victors or not. “Sierra…” The president’s granddaughter slowly took off the gloves with hesitation, unsure of whether she was meant to speak the following words or not. “You know Hawke would’ve never taken part in something like…that. Not if he had known you could’ve been a victim of his well- intentioned  actions…he was the victim of his own well-intentioned actions…” The blonde frowned slightly, knowing that her confession and her knowledge on the topic wouldn’t catch the victor off guard. She needed to get this off her chest…understand why people Hawke had died for seemed to respect no boundaries. Had she created an idea of who Hawke was in her head that had nothing to do with the person he was for real? Had he been alive, would he have agreed to let those bombs go off?

“Maybe we can make it lunch or something? June I am sure would love to teach her new favourite technique of making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to Archie.” Sierra made sure that one day a week, June could choose the meals for the day and would help Sierra cook. Lately lunch had always been peanut butter and jelly. June’s favourite way to put it together? Slather peanut butter on one piece of bread and jelly on the other and then slap them together really hard. It was hard for Sierra not to laugh and to remind June that making a mess wasn’t always a good thing. 

Sierra grimaced at the thought of ‘expedited healing.’ She was sure that would hurt in the moment and take any reminder of what had happened away. It was the worst part of the Capitol’s whole penchant for beauty. There was to be no unapproved uniqueness on one’s body. There was to be no reminder of what she had been through even if it could bring up terrible memories. She was stronger because of her Arena and at this point she didn’t want the anger of what the Rebels did–what needed to change in their organization–to fade. 

She gave Cordelia a grateful look, nodding at her instructions. “I promise, Cordelia. I’ll make sure I do it every night and if you’re saying I have a medical reason to stay inside and read and write, you won’t have to worry about sun exposure.” Sierra made a note to ask an Avox to head into the Capitol for some sunscreen even though it was late October. She still didn’t want to go into the Capitol. It was still so fresh. 

At the note in her voice, Sierra met the woman’s eyes, tilting her head slightly. Cordelia’s voice had lost a bit of its doctor tenor and was replaced with something akin to concern and honesty. It took all of her strength not to grip at her forearms even with the cast and bandages. Her eyes took on a watery sheen, as it normally did whenever anyone mentioned Hawke–not that it happened often, it usually happened when June talked about daddy. 

“I know...Hawke would never have approved of something so careless as a bombing in the market. He didn’t hate his contemporaries, he hated the people in charge and wanted to help those suffering under this leadership. It seems like the organization has changed since...from five years ago. It’s awful.” Sierra’s lip trembled and she gently pulled her hands from Cordelia’s burying them in her sweater. Clenched, it was all she could do, but it at least prevented Sierra from extricating herself from this conversation. If she wanted to change the rebels from the inside she needed to toughen up and be able to have these conversations. “This was not what Hawke died for.”

“I believe that time of year would be spring, darling,” Valor said timidly. Autumn was a beautiful time of year and one of his favorites too, but it was the time when the leaves began to die, when it bled into the cold, bitter months of winter. Technically, spring was a time of rebirth and new beginnings, so autumn fell right in line with how he was feeling lately. Everything felt like it was dying, including him.

Valor nodded his head, looking away from the young woman and down the street. He almost didn’t want to go home. He’d prefer to be in solitude for a little longer so he didn’t have to feel suffocated in his own home. His thumb gently moved over the edge of his journal, thinking to himself as Sierra spoke to him regarding his children.

“Yeah,” Valor said. “He is.” He glanced up at her again and sighed. “But I’m sure June will have a great time. You as well.” Sierra asked about costumes for the two of them and Valor’s smile faded only slightly and he shrugged. “Dunno. Rhys hadn’t said anything about it and I don’t know if I will this year. A lot going on, you know?”

Sierra smiled. “You would think, right? It’s the beginning of change. For anything to take root, for anything to have the space to grow bigger and stronger, things need to be shed. It gives time for reflection, peace, rest, before starting anew. That’s where the real change begins. Inside, before showing it to the rest of the world in the spring.” She had read that in a book of prose years ago. It was during the years she didn’t interact with people of the world very often. Everyone thought spring was where change was the theme of the season, but Sierra preferred looking at the world this way. It made the winter feel much more needed, especially after growing up in a District where winter was never incredibly harsh. It got harsh in the foothills and mountains where the ranchers went, but her family’s cattle farm would get dustings of snow, but nothing more. 

“June doesn’t need a lot of help having a good time, but she loves Halloween. She likes seeing the whole world look like it does in her imagination. Usually Halloween continues to November 1st for us. June likes to stay dressed up and tell a story with me using our costumes.” Sierra smiled, picking herself up off the step and moved to the railing at the front of the porch. “I just like seeing June happy, you know? As long as she is happy, I know I will be.”

Nodding, Sierra wrapped another piece of cobweb with her right hand, keeping her casted wrist close to her body. Cordelia would have her head if she hurt it more. “Yeah, it’s just been coming at us again and again, hasn’t it? For me, it’s all the more reason to have a night off. One where I might be able to not think about the bad things.”

“Hey, if it isn’t two of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen,” Cambric told both June and Sierra as he sauntered up beside them. The past few weeks had been hard, but it was Halloween and the children should have a little bit of fun. “If you didn’t know, that house…” Cambric pointed to a house a couple down on the left. “Has the really really big candy bars. I totally approve. You should ask them for two. One for me, one for you.”

Cambric waited till June walked up to the next house before asking anything serious nature of his friend. “So, how are you feeling? You know now that you’ve had some good food.” Surely Sierra was alright if they let her out of the hospital, but he still worried. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

@its-sierrafletcher​​

June rushed up to Cambric and wrapped her arms around him. “I am the prettiest,” she said muffled against his clothes. She perked up at the mention of candy bars and looked bewildered up at Cambric before following his finger to where he was gesturing. A spooky house, both lit up and full of fog, filled the little girl’s vision and she ran off. “I promise to get you one, Uncle Cam!”

Sierra tilted her head at him, holding her candy-laden basket in one hand. She quirked a brow. “Now, what are you supposed to be dressed as tonight?” she asked, wanting to avoid his question for a few moments longer. 

“Of course I’d tell you, dummy,” Sierra replied, digging into the open package of jujubes in her basket. She popped a yellow one into her mouth. “Physically, I’m doing better. Healing, got the thumbs up from Cordelia. Everything else though, it feels like there’s a clear path for me to take, but it’s a hard one.” 

She heard June’s voice over the general din of the Halloween streets and smiled slightly before turning back to Cam. “What do you think about the rebels right now?”

“Not quite yet,” he said. “The trees are still changing colors but some of the leaves have fallen. It’s quite beautiful right now.” He was saying that as if he were honestly paying attention. He hadn’t been. The last two months of his life had been shit. Ever since the Games ended, he had been thrown into a cycle of bullshit and he was starting to see how insignificant he was in his own family.

It was miserable. 

Sierra spoke but Valor simply forced a smile. He didn’t want to make her seem off put by him but he was an awkward man in general. He didn’t make friends easily, mostly because his father had destroyed that confidence in him early on. His best friend as a child had been his older sister, who died at sixteen when he was ten. Ever since then, Valor struggled making friends and going on dates until Rhys showed up. Rhys had been the game changer, but now he was starting to act like everyone else. 

“Yeah, they are,” he said. “Both of them are excited, as far as I know. Planning on their own adventure, I think. What about your daughter?”

Sierra nodded, noticing the trees around the Village in the midst of their own colour changes. The leaves coated lawns and sidewalks and it was both a blessing and a curse that she had to rake them up into piles. Sure, she could make the Avox do that, but June loved playing around in the leaves and Sierra couldn’t give that up. “Autumn is my favourite time of year. A time of change and of new beginnings. You can start over fresh if you need to. Plus, its beautiful.”

His smile seemed a little forced, but Sierra didn’t blame him. Sometimes it was hard to see past all the hardship that has befallen some of the Victors over the years, even the past couple of months. It was hard to see past her own hardship sometimes. 

“Ah, I bet Hudson’s got the pen and paper out, plotting the most efficient route right?” Sierra guessed, chuckling quietly. She was sure that June would get in on that when she was older. “June’s ecstatic. She picked out our costumes a couple of weeks ago and has been practicing her growls and barring her teeth in the mirror–she’s going as the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. And if you can guess, I get to be the titular character.” She smiled to herself, what a crazy kid she had. “Are you and Rhys dressing up as anything?”

Glitter nodded.  She was glad to have friends in the victor’s village.  It wasn’t an easy place to live and she wanted Sterling to have friends too.  “I think that sounds really nice.  I know Sterling would enjoy it too.”  Maybe they would have to find a way to spend more time together.

But as she listened to Sierra, Glitter shrugged.  “You don’t have to repay me.  Isn’t this just what friends do for each other?”  Honestly, Glitter wasn’t the best with friends so she didn’t really know.  “I get it though.  I didn’t really want more than Emmy, but when I got pregnant with Sterling I figured one more couldn’t hurt.”

“We can figure out a time for a play date for the two of them before it gets so cold that they can’t run around the backyard. June’s got a few more play structures built around the yard and would love to show them off. And we can just sit back and watch. A little break for us too?” Sierra suggested. She looked out the window to the Capitol, seeing the bustle of the street below. Today, she was glad that there was plenty of space between her and the Capitolites. 

Smiling, Sierra looked back at Glitter. The most unlikely of friends, she thought to herself. “It is. But still, I’d like to make it up to you. It’s what friends want to do.” 

“Well, you lucked out with the two of them. But, even if I wanted to give June a sibling, I don’t have many prospects,” Sierra joked. But, mostly she wasn’t sure her heart could fully give up Hawke.