farmpup

It was a horrible shift, not only did he encounter a misunderstanding with Dr. Langdon when he had been back for like a week but also with Trinity. Dennis sighed, there’s a lot of things going on with just one shift sometimes it can get overwhelming. Yet the nightshift hand-overs had just finished and Dennis was free to go, his stomach grumbled from hunger and exhaustion, chuckling at himself at the absurdity of how far he had come. If this was 10 months ago he would’ve just slept his hunger off in the cold and moldy room curling up with the paper thin blankets in one of the hospital’s empty beds on the 8th floor. Now he has a warm bed to sleep into and doesn’t have to worry about skipping meals just to save what little he has left.

Dennis had planned out what he will do for tomorrow since it was his day off, he promised Trinity to check out the new gay bar that had opened last week although he would rather stay in bed and watch animal documentaries till 3 am. On his way out a familiar figure lurked outside the parking lot, he thought that Dr. Langdon had already left earlier yet he’s still here talking to the phone. Dennis didn’t mean to listen in but the woman’s voice on the phone was loud enough to figure out that Dr. Langdon was being shouted at. He didn’t know why he stayed in the same position that the call ended but there was something in Langdon’s expression he couldn’t let go. The stillness in his voice, in the way his body froze up, and the flicker of pain and defeat in his eyes.

“Fuck Whitaker you scared the shit out of me.” Langdon almost dropped his phone when he noticed Dennis staring at him. The man smiled sheepishly, looking away like he didn’t just get caught eavesdropping.

“Sorry Dr. Langdon, I heard screaming, I thought there was a patient?” He cringed at his own answer that seemed more like a question, Langdon’s eyes glazed through him and Dennis knew he didn’t believe any of his words.

“How much did you hear?” The direct question made Langdon bigger than he needed to be, he was already quite intimidating but now that Dennis is the focus of his cold hard gaze he can’t help but feel a small ounce of fear.

“I didn’t hear much, just a woman who was screaming , Dr. Langdon. I apologize I knew it was none of my business but it sounded serious so I thought you needed some help.”

“I don’t need your help, you could have just fucked off!” Langdon snapped, raising his voice that Dennis cowered under it, flinching at the sudden rise of voice, this was his first time being in Langdon’s line of fire. The anger didn’t last and Langdon was running his fingers through his hair trying to soothe himself. “I didn’t mean that Dr. Whitaker, I'm sorry. You just caught me in a bad time.”

“Are you alright, Frank?”

Langdon expected his anger to be spat back at him, to lash out at his bad behavior and put him in his place but this was different. The softness of Dennis' voice took him aback; he didn't know how to react to it, anger met with gentleness is an uncharted territory for him. The man’s eyes looked at him in concern instead of hostility, Langdon looked away feeling ashamed and guilty for lashing out on him, it wasn’t Dennis’ fault that his life was falling apart all he had to blame was himself, he dug this grave by himself and now he cannot get out of it.

“Yes, everything’s fine.” A repeated lie leaving an acrid taste on his tongue. Dennis saw through the mask Langdon wears, the fragility of it and how vulnerable he could be as it slowly slips away.

“Are you sure, you can tell me anything.” Dennis pressed knowing all too well that he was being annoying but he can’t find it in himself to leave when somewhere deep in his gut he can see that Langdon desperately needs someone he can talk to.

“Not as a doctor or as a colleague but as a friend.” Dennis hesitated, he didn’t know if Langdon even considers him as a friend, they get along just fine in the ER but outside of work they barely have any interaction. Now he’s aware of how pushy he’s being and the thought of Langdon yelling at him again for not minding his own business is likely to happen.

“Or an acquaintance, I don’t know where I’m going with this. I know that we’re not really close and I have no idea about what happened but I’m just worried about you. So if you want someone to talk to or someone who'll just listen, I’m here.”

The sound of the busy night became apparent to them, some of the day shifts are still clocking out for the day and Dennis almost forgot that they were talking out in the open. Instead of replying Langdon turned around and signalled Dennis to follow him. The cold air sent shivers to Dennis’ spine as he followed Langdon’s long strides towards the park. They sat on the opposite sides of the benches letting the silence simmer between them. Langdon’s eyes held so much emotion all at once that he couldn’t decide where to start, he couldn't relax, his leg bouncing on the seat trying to make up a word but failing in the process. Even with all the therapy he had in the past 10 months it was still not easy to talk about his problems, it's a struggle for him to admit that he’s in pain.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me now. We can just sit here if you’d like.” Dennis muttered, noticing Langdon’s anxiousness, he wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible, there’s no point in trying to get the truth out of him if he’s unwilling to do it himself.

“No it’s not that.” Langdon finally looked Dennis in the eyes and for a moment he forgot what he was about to say. “It’s just you’re so incredibly stubborn it’s almost endearing.” That wasn’t the reply Dennis had expected at all; he couldn't help the heat rising up to his cheeks, rubbing his nape in embarrassment.

“Oh I’m sorry about that I just-”

“It’s a compliment, Whitaker, you can relax. I just didn’t expect to be cornered like this, but boy you are persuasive. Your patients truly are lucky to have you as their doctor.” Now Dennis was sure that his brain had stopped working, his entire face reddening in response.

“It means a lot coming from you, I’m really doing my best so thank you, Langdon.”

“I’m the one who has to thank you, even if I shouted at you the first thing you did was to check up on me instead of being angry.” The air around them shifted, the glint of hurt in Langdon’s eyes came back, his smile dropped, the gravity of opening up now dawned over him, he needed to accept the truth, he needed to be heard.

“I don’t know if the HR told everyone yet but the reason why I disappeared for 10 months is because I’m in rehab for my benzo’s addiction, I stole medicine from the ER,” a pause taking a deep breath as he continues “Santos found out about it, she told Robby and he found the pills I stole inside my locker. I fucked up, I let Robby down, I let everybody down, I let myself down.” His voice quivered at the confession, the weight of his guilt decreasing as he told Dennis the truth, and instead of judging him Dennis only held his hand squeezing it gently to remind Langdon that he was here. And that was enough for him to let out a sob, all his secrets came spilling out, it felt freeing to be understood.

“I came clean to my wife, I told her everything that happened. Abby didn’t accept it well,” Langdon clenched his fist his voice quivering, feeling himself shaken with frustration and pain, so much pain. Dennis squeezed his hand again grounding him to utter the next words. “She hit me, and I didn’t know for how long but she was screaming and the kids were there. They saw me on the ground while she continued to hit me. She was asking for divorce and I begged her to stay, that I would get my life back then one day she just left and she took the kids with her. I almost ended my life that day, I didn’t know who to call, I don’t know if anyone would bother to be there for me when I just lost my entire life.”

At this point Dennis didn’t even hesitate to come forward and embrace Langdon, arms wrapped tightly around him as he let the man cry on his shoulder, it broke him to know just how much pain he’d been through, that it led Langdon to believe that he was unworthy to be heard by the people whom he trusts.

“I did my best to recover so I could have shared custody of my kids but Abby used my addiction against me in court. It felt like a punch in the gut because she knew how hard I fought to be sober, so that I could have my job back, have my life back. The verdict isn’t settled yet and there’s still multiple hearings to attend but it feels like I’m going to lose everything again, that I’m going to lose Tanner and Penny forever. I don’t know if I could still forgive myself if that happens.”

“You’re not going to lose them, Frank. As you’ve said you’ve fought hard to get your life back. I’m sure the court will see it, that your kids will see it too. They'll know how much you love them, look at how far you’ve come.” Dennis stroked his hair and it made him feel like a child that it would be hilarious if he didn’t just spend a lot of time crying on his shoulder.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ “ Frank looked at him in confusion and Dennis sheepishly cleared his throat. “It’s um Corinthians 12:9. I was a Theology major in undergrad, force of habit.” That piece of information graced a small smile on Frank’s lips as he chuckled, moving away from Dennis now to see the patch of tear stains he left on the younger’s scrubs.

“You’re really good at this kid, even made me cry.” He tried to clear the air, feeling a bit better now that he let out all of the pain he’s been repressing, Frank looked at Dennis with newfound respect now he knew why Robby was so enamored with the kid, he’d be a great mentor someday.

“We need you in the ER, y'know.” Dennis said softly, almost shy. “It wouldn’t be the same without you, they might not say it out loud but they care, Frank. You’re a good doctor and a great person, I hope you know that.”

he had endured 20 years without any heats and it was taking a toll on his health. it had drastically affected his mood, he was prone to aggression which spiraled into a midlife crisis. then came his sabbatical, he had planned on riding his heat in the middle of nowhere hoping that he'd come out intact. but that plan went downhill when his heat kickstarted at his house before he could even leave. whitaker was gonna be here any moment together with jack who had agreed to tour the kid around and show him the ropes around the house.

two unmated alphas are going to enter his house and he's stuck on the sofa humping the closest pillow he could find to alleviate the burning heat between his legs. robby couldn't remember how time had gone by when he's whimpering for a cock to knot him. just when he thought he was gonna pass out from both pain and lust the door opened as jack and dennis was welcomed by a gush of omega pheromones that was covering every surface of the house.

robby was still exploring his sexuality during his university years, growing up jewish with his grandma surrounded by a community where queer people are not likely to be expected, the first emotion he felt was shame.

jack often wander around in their shared dorm shirtless, the man had a muscular body that is worth showing off but robby was having a hard time pretending that he wasn't affected by it. every time jack would catch him staring that boyish grin on his face will widen as he teased a blushing robby who will sputter random excuses to explain his staring problem.

"calm down, mikey. there's nothing bad about admiring another man's body, it's just how it is." the way he talked about it so casually was almost a relief for robby, yet his anxiety around the topic didn't seem to wane.

"but it's inappropriate, it's not like i'm g-" he shut his mouth before he could continue his sentence, suddenly feeling more interested staring at the rug his hand unconsciously rubbing his nape and adjusting the collar of his blue long sleeve a habit of his to self soothe.

"that you're not gay?" jack finished his sentence which only make him feel ashamed. "you don't have to be gay to appreciate a man's body, mike."

"i know, it's just..." what can he even say, this was an unfamiliar territory for him and jack's piercing gaze only made it harder for him to think straight. "you make me feel things, and it's embarrassing and i feel like a perv to even think about it, i don't know." robby was now hiding his face with his hands a small groan of frustration slipping out of his lips.

"like, what kind of things?" jack could have ignored it to save robby from further embarrassment but at this point he wanted to know what robby felt, that if there was a chance he feels the same.

"i can't take my eyes off you and that's not normal, i'm your friend and i should be respectful of how i look at you. and i like women, i still do but you're different and i don't know what to do about it, i can't get you off my mind." he's starting to ramble now digging a further grave of shame and embarrassment.

at this point jack was just smiling like he just won the lottery and maybe he just did. he reached out for robby's hand now sitting closer beside him as he coaxed the male to finally look at him. robby's teary eyes made him feel bad but jack can't deny how pretty he was like this, with robby's big brown eyes looking at him like he was a forbidden fruit he can't have.

"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for finding me attractive or anything i'm actually quite flattered michael. you can like women and men at the same time, it's called bisexuality and i'm bi mike if it wasn't obvious already. besides, you're not the only one with that problem, i also can't get you off my mind. i thought you were straight so i didn't make any move no matter how pretty you are."

robby's brain couldn't seem to process all this information, all he could do was stare at jack like he hung the moon. "you think i'm pretty?"

"more than pretty, and i could show you just how much if you'd let me." jack was moving closer now, robby leaned closer already breathless as they slowly closed the distance that he could smell jack's scent clinging on his clothes.

"take me, please."

that's what all jack needed to close the gap, robby was sweet as he had imagined, a little bit clumsy but jack had find that cute. robby melted into the kiss pliantly opening his mouth for jack as he lets him take the lead, whimpering like a needy puppy when jack's mouth moved down his neck marking his skin his arms wrapped around jack's neck fingers tugging on jack's red locks.

"so sweet and honest, such a good boy for me, michael."

"yes, please only for you. i'm only good for you, jack."

"yeah? and if i asked you to be mine right now, what do you think, baby?

"i've always been yours, ever since i moved in you're the only one in my mind."

robby who's sharing his space for the first time by having a roommate in med school, he doesn't know what to expect when he moved in, he knocked on the door and was greeted by someone's naked chest and a pair of the most gorgeous hazel eyes he had ever seen. the stranger looked at him in confusion until it finally clicked when he saw the boxes behind robby.

"i didn't think you'll move in so quick, come on in. sorry if its a little messy, i didn't expect you today."

robby knew as soon as he went inside he'll be harboring a new crush on jack despite only meeting him like 10 seconds ago. and the man did make it easy for robby to fall harder than he already was, jack was too kind for his own good always considering robby's opinions on things around the apartment before doing it. they'll hang out after classes and would study together more often than they needed to, jack would bring him snacks when he forgets to eat and he would do the same to jack by cooking him lunch that he could bring to class.

yet robby's fantasies was quick to be shattered as he watched jack making out with a girl in one of the frat parties the man had invited him on. robby could only remember chugging his beer in one go as he texted jack that he went back early to their shared dormitory cause he wasn't feeling well. robby felt stupid it didn't even cross his mind that jack probably was just nice and undoubtedly straight, he cried himself to sleep that night despite promising himself that he'll get over it.

robby never got over it, jack made it harder for robby when the man cooked him breakfast and was kind enough to leave some medicine on his bedside table with a note that wrote 'get well soon, mike. i left you some breakfast in the fridge, you can heat them up in the microwave.'

so to not let himself dig a deeper grave robby began avoiding jack like a plague, spending his time alone holed up in the library to study, they hung out less as robby learned to lie through his teeth just to avoid jack. it was hard to do and robby was getting exhausted of walking in eggshells around jack but he had no choice, he didn't want to ruin their friendship because he stupidly caught feelings for jack and misunderstood his kindness, he felt like a complete idiot.

"did i do something wrong?" jack had him cornered in the kitchen before he could even go straight to his room, he thought that jack would be asleep by now.

"what do you mean?" he could only play dumb as he avoided jack's gaze.

"after the party you've been avoiding me, michael. did i do something stupid when i was drunk? have i upset you in any way?"

"no, it's not like that, it's not your fault i'm just busy."

"busy enough to not talk to me for weeks?"

robby was silent after that, he could feel himself tense up as he willed himself not to cry.

"i thought we were friends, mike."

"we are, i just- it's complicated."

"you know you can tell me anything. if it's my fault i'd apologize for it."

at this point robby is holding back his tears which only worried jack more.

"please, don't make me say it."

"so it is my fault then, i'm sorry. i understand if you don't wanna be roommates with me anymore, i could just move somewhere else."

just the thought of jack moving away filled robby's stomach with dread, he didn't know what came into him as he desperately pulled jack closer and kissed him. it was better than he had imagined, jack's lips were soft and warm a stark difference from his trembling ones that was salty with his tears. once he realized what he had done robby was quick to pull away like jack's skin was made of lava. he was already crying at this point and the last thing he saw was jack's surprised look before he ran out of the dorm.

Jack knew doctors that had blood phobia which was a bad thing to have if you’re working in an emergency department but most of them got so used to it that it died down. But with Whitaker it was a different type of reaction when it comes to blood, he could swear that the kid was like a bloodhound sniffing out unnoticed bleeds that other doctors wouldn’t notice. Perhaps Whitaker was just really good at his job and Jack had to stop observing him any chance he gets, maybe he needed to stop noticing about Whitaker’s oral fixation as well.

Chewed up pen caps, snacking on protein bars and nibbling on it like he’s taking his damn time eating flesh instead of a snack, and the amount of time Jack had seen him biting the end of his fingernails, he swore that the kid’s canine appeared sharper than normal. It was problematic for Jack to observe Whitaker this way, hell it was the first time he was so attentive to someone even when they were off work. The resident had the tendency to just appear out of nowhere and disappear as fast as his arrival, Whitaker wasn’t quick to be noticed, he blends in the night shift comfortably like a nocturnal predator.

Jack is jumping conclusions again, he already finished the hand-offs with Robby, he got his bag packed ready to go yet he was still staring at Whitaker who was talking with Santos. The kid looked paler than usual, bags under his eyes hanging on a thread, Jack’s eyes peering down the resident’s lips when Whitaker ran his tongue on his lower lip, his teeth chewing on the skin like a bad habit. The thoughts on Jack’s mind were enough to get him arrested, he wanted to run his fingers on his lips prying them open until his fingers grazed Whitaker’s teeth, to see if they’re sharp enough to puncture his skin.

“Jack if you stare at Whitaker a little longer you’d spook the kid out of his wits.” Robby pointed out nudging the man beside him, Whitaker probably felt Jack’s heated gaze as he stared right back at him like a deer caught in headlights. Whitaker was quick to look away yet Jack caught the look of subtlety in his eyes, the look of need almost hunger if he would describe it. For a split second Whitaker’s gaze trailed down his neck, eyes sharpening as if on instinct but it was quick to vanish when Whitaker turned around back to Santos.

“No need to worry brother, I think I’m the one getting spooked out.” Jack patted the man’s shoulder as he headed out leaving a confused Robby standing in the middle of the ER.

For the next few days Jack kept hounding Whitaker during their shifts, checking up on the younger even if the cases he had were nothing major. This way Jack was able to observe him closer, to savor the smallest reaction that Whitaker would give whenever Jack was close by. The attending was a little too eager when he knew that he had an effect on the resident, he was direct with his advances, leaning a little too close when he would assist Whitaker to glide the scalpel, a smug smile playing on his lips when the younger’s breath quivered for a second at the closeness.

He’d let his fingers linger on the small of Whitaker’s back when he leads him to a patient that they can treat together, the man would pretend that he didn’t notice when Whitaker would lean on his touch unconsciously, it filled a primal need in Jack to make the younger keen on his touch. HR would have a field day if they knew about Jack’s growing intention about the resident. He knew it was inappropriate in so many ways yet his interest only grew the more that they interacted, he was grateful that Whitaker was unaware of how he was spinning Jack in the palm of his hand by simply just existing.

At the end of their shift Jack was ready to leave, making up his mind to talk to Whitaker about the way he has been acting around him yet before he can call out to him the younger was already swiftly walking out of the ER. Jack decided to follow him but his legs didn’t take him outside the hospital, he was cautious enough not to be seen by Whitaker as he headed to the 8th floor of the hospital. This was definitely weird, the darkness was a comforting territory to him but now it posed a threat, why would Whitaker even go here last time Jack checked the male was roommates with Trinity.

A voice in his head warned him against this, that a resident going in one of the empty rooms in the hospital was none of his business, however it is in his belief that Whitaker was hiding something and he was about to confirm his suspicions. Jack mutters a curse under his breath, hand gripping the doorknob as it creaks open. In the middle of the room standing in dim lighting was Whitaker gnawing on what looked to be a blood bag, the canines that Jack had imagined during their shift suddenly grew longer and razor sharp glinting in the dark soaked in blood. There was a sense of relief on Whitaker’s shoulders, draining the blood off the bag like a starved animal, a small whimper falling from his lips as he sucked it dry.

“Dennis…” All relief drained from Dennis’ face as he heard Jack’s voice, wide-eyed as he looked up at the man in fear. His eyes weren’t the blue sky that Jack wanted to see up close; it's now crimson like the blood that dripped on the corner of his lips. Dennis looked like he was about to cry, his hands were trembling, clutching the blood bag that he was feeding on for dear life, he opened his mouth to speak to explain to Jack that his hunger was something he could not control. But how could he even start, Jack wouldn’t believe him, everyone will know that he was a freak of nature, he’ll lose his job, he’ll lose everything.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” It was a broken plea, an attempt to convince Jack even if it was impossible, he took a step back making himself smaller, a vulnerable prey with the hunger of a predator. 

“I got turned into a vampire back at home, I can’t remember how it exactly happened but when I woke up I was laying on the cornfield bleeding from my neck. I had no heartbeat yet I was still alive, I knew I could not go back home in that state, I would be a danger to my own family.” That was half true, yet Dennis was also sure that his family would disown him immediately if they knew about his condition, so he made a decision to escape. 

Somehow it all worked out, he was able to maintain his secret while living a normal life, until he was underneath Jack’s gaze. Dennis gulped feeling his throat turning dry despite being just fed, the man didn’t say anything, an unreadable expression on his features as if he was signalling Dennis to continue his explanation, and so he did.

“I’ve only fed from animals, like rats or small birds when I’m really desperate. But lately it wasn’t enough, my fangs started to itch when I craved for blood and they started to hurt. I didn’t want to harm people,Dr. Abbot. I was only desperate to quench my hunger. I’ve only taken expired blood that was about to be thrown away, just one or two bags for three weeks. Please you have to understand, if I don’t feed I’ll die.” There was that look again in his eyes, the desperation to be understood, Jack almost felt guilty if he wasn’t so confused about what was happening. 

“You’re telling me that you’ve been stealing blood bags from the hospital?” Dennis flinched at his voice, making himself smaller than he already was, his eyes staring at the floor as he nodded. Jack sighed, he didn’t even know where to start with this, in all his years he couldn’t wrap his head around golden boy Dennis being a vampire. Out of all of his suspicions to come true, this one finally takes the cake.

“You can get in trouble for this kid.”

“I know, Dr. Abbot, but what else can I do? I didn’t ask to be turned into a vampire, I didn’t want to steal blood from the hospital or kill rats just to eat. I just want to live, I want to be a doctor who saves lives, and I want to give people a second chance despite struggling to get mine. So please Dr. Abbot…” And was Jack supposed to say no when Dennis looked at him like he was his savior, such a desperate hungry little thing.

“Fuck, you’re making this difficult for me, Dennis.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

“Does anyone else know about it?” Dennis looked up at that question, blinking twice before shaking his head. 

“I need verbal confirmation, Dennis.” A whine almost left the younger’s lips, feeling a bit overwhelmed by Jack's authoritative tone, he had half the mind to move back but he was already cornered by the wall. 

“No, sir. You're the only one who knows.” His answer satisfied an itch in Jack’s mind, like it was an achievement to be the only one keeping Dennis' secret. 

“Good, keep it that way. I won't tell anyone about this, but you need to stop stealing blood bags from the hospital, someone will eventually catch you.”

“But how am I supposed to feed Dr. Abbot? The rats and birds won't be enough, I'll go hungry.” This time a petulant whine came out from Dennis, almost like a puppy being denied a treat, Jack ought to train this hungry pup himself. 

“I’ve seen you drain out that bag, kid. You can’t possibly still be hungry.” The blood that dripped on Dennis’ lips stained the corner of his mouth, Jack couldn’t help but to move closer and reach out his hand, eyes gazing down on Dennis’ lips his fingers wiping the blood on the corner of the younger’s lips then smearing his bloodstained fingertips back on his mouth. Dennis instantly suckled on Jack’s fingers leaning onto his touch as his tongue licked off the blood on Jack’s digits. He could feel the sharpness of Dennis’ fangs graze his fingers, it took a lot of self restraint to just bend the younger on the empty gurney beside them, filling him up with something else to choke on.

“So you are still hungry.” Jack knew he should walk away, that taking this too far would only place them in an awkward situation, yet who was he to deprive someone of what they needed. 

“Drink.” Jack whispered, sliding his fingers deeper inside Dennis’ mouth, the coldness of the younger’s tongue brought shivers to his spine, he wasn’t lying after all. Dennis seemed to snap out of his trance once he heard Jack’s instruction, trying to pull himself away but the grip that Jack had on his jaw kept him in place, all he could do was shake his head. 

“You said it yourself sweetheart, you’ll be hungry if you won’t feed. From now on you’ll feed through me, twice every 3 weeks or once every week. We'll need to satiate that hunger, make sure you’re well fed so you don’t pass out in the middle of your shift.” Jack didn’t even hesitate to decide for Dennis, it was for his own good, or that was the narrative that Jack decides to run on because he couldn’t accept the idea of anyone else doing this for him.

“Do you understand?” Their close proximity made Dennis’ head spin, with Jack’s fingers still inside his mouth, drool has started to drip down from the corner of his lips. He could feel him everywhere his scent was making him dizzy and the way that he could feel Jack’s pulse in his mouth worsened his hunger. Dennis could only understand half of what Jack had been saying as he nodded in agreement, his fangs itching to satiate his thirst.

“Drink.” Jack moved his fingers grazing Dennis’ fangs pressing on them until it punctured his skin drawing blood as it bleeds inside Dennis’ mouth.

A moan slipped from Dennis’ lips as the warmth of Jack’s blood filled his throat, his hands gripping the man’s arm to support himself as he desperately sucked blood from Jack’s fingers. The taste that hits his tongue is euphoric and he’s afraid that he might get addicted to this feeling, that he won’t be able to stop himself from desperately craving the man’s blood, that he won’t be able to stop himself from craving Jack.

Color slowly came back on Dennis’ pale skin as he drank more, to feel those sinful lips wrapped around his fingers as he took his fill made Jack weak in the knees. To see Dennis like this was a sight that he’d engrave into his memory, a million thoughts rattled his brain and none of them were pure. He should feel guilty to garner this feeling of possessiveness towards the resident but he knows that he’d bleed himself dry to see Dennis like this again, he’s too far gone now. 

Dennis pulled away with a gasp, eyes still dazed, lips dripping in a mix of blood and saliva, small whimpers coming out of him like he was still relishing the taste of Jack’s blood in his mouth. Jack wants to close the gap, to know what he tastes like from Dennis’ lips, to run his tongue over those sharp fangs, he wants to feel Dennis everywhere to breathe him in, but he resisted the temptation and held Dennis in his arms until he was steady enough to look up at him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to drink too much.” Jack really has to keep this kid in a box, or better yet put him inside of his pocket.

“Oh sweetheart, that’s what I wanted you to do. Did it fill you up?”

Dennis shyly nodded. That was all that Jack wanted to hear, a satisfied smile on his face as his other hand patted the younger's head, leaning close to his ear as he whispered.

andrew who was still plagued by nightmares from oceanside only to be comforted by dennis who held his hand while he slept. dennis who used to cower when other kids insult him for being queer but he's now protected by andrew who only needed to glare at the bullies as they scamper away.

dennis who told andrew about his dream of being a doctor but now he has to give it up because he's broke and disowned by his family. andrew who worked part-time jobs and secretly saved up so dennis can attend uni and then proceed to medical school.

and when dennis got his first boyfriend andrew couldn't understand why he was so upset by it, he knew that he wasn't homophobic but he couldn't help but frown whenever dennis would bring his boyfriend to their shared apartment.

andrew who beat up dennis' boyfriend after making him cry because the bastard cheated on him. he only got more protective of dennis by then but learned to keep his distance so he wouldn't scare dennis' friends.

dennis who was a lightweight came home all cuddly and touchy for andrew that he ended up straddling him and finally kissing his lips. andrew who sat their frozen not sure on how to react until dennis cupped his face softly and kissed him so gently that he let himself melt into it.

his mother's latest obsession was pairing him up with any illegible girl in broken bow resulting in multiple awkward dates which only ended in failure. it was hard to admit that he just doesn't see the future that his mother wanted for him, he doesn't have the heart to tell her the truth.

after another terrible date dennis found himself slumped on a bar nursing a glass of beer, a familiar figure sat beside him and in his drunken haze he unabashedly flirted with the farmhand that was a few years older than his father. and god did it feel good to finally make a choice for himself, one drink turned into two and then it turned into the man taking him home, only leaving his number on his pocket and the message that they should talk more when he was sober.

when dennis woke up the next day all he could remember was the man's firm hand on his waist as he walked him home and the salt and pepper beard that he had wanted to caress for a long time. his name felt strange spoken by his lips but it never felt so right.

Yet he knew being in the farm wasn’t the future that he wanted, after all he was the weakest one out of the four as his father would always point out. It hurt hearing it for the first time and the desperation to make his father proud grew into a void he couldn’t fill. Dennis couldn't be the son that his father wanted and his scars were a testament of how much of a disappointment he had become, the belt shaped scars on his back were now faint speckles of white on his freckled skin. 

He couldn’t get rid of that feeling no matter how much he cried and begged for his father to stop, it wasn’t the whip of the belt as it bruised that pained him but the look on his father’s face after he was done with it, the look of disgust.

“Doctor Whitaker, are you listening?” A distant voice called out to him, a familiar voice. Then there was a hand resting on his shoulder, such gentle touch that it had scared him flinching at the weight of it like a frightened mouse. 

“Yes uhm, those are blunt-force pattern injuries.” He knew those bruises all too well, they were similar to his own and he forced himself not to look away from them. He should be used to seeing these types of injuries, after all he had seen worse cases in the ER. “There are hematomas forming on the skin, nothing major, just minor ones that can be treated with some ice and pain meds to numb the area.”

“Do you recognize the mark patterns on the skin?” Dennis stilled, Doctor Robby’s voice was calm just like any other day yet his eyes lingered on Dennis’ face watching intently as if he could read his mind, Dennis wondered just how easily he could see through him.

“It seemed to be belt marks.” His voice almost came out like a whisper, like his mother’s apologies when she patches him up after a rough discipline from his father, ‘He didn’t mean it Denny, your father loves you, he only wants the best for you, he doesn’t want you to be astray like the other kids,’ but how could such love be this cruel and for how many years had he convinced himself to believe it. 

“Whitaker you don’t look well, take five minutes in the break room. I can handle this, the shift ends in half an hour, go get some air, kid.” 

“But Doctor Robby I can-” But before he could protest Robby was already leading him outside of the room, his hand on Dennis’ shoulder calling for Dana. 

“Whitaker here needs a cup of coffee before we wrap up.” Robby signaled her with his eyes, they’ve worked together for years and they’ve learned how to communicate in guiding this ER to be what it is today, plus Dana has her shit together more than Robby, she’s seen him at his worst and his best.

“You’ve got it, Capt. Follow along kid, I'll show you where the good stuff is.” There was all that familiar warmth with Dana despite only being in the ER for almost a year, and just like with Doctor Robby he follows her around like a good little puppy. 

“Feeling alright, Whitaker?” 

Dennis wanted to say yes, to brush it off as usual and say that everything’s fine but Dana isn’t blind she could see him slightly trembling, refusing eye contact as if he’d done something bad, oh the poor boy. 

“Here.” The warmth of the mug was enough to halt himself from thinking any further, blinking at Dana who only took a sip of her coffee. 

“You okay, kid?” She asks again. 

“Oh yeah uh, I should probably head back. I’ve a lot of patients to catch up on and-”

“Finish your coffee first, Robby’s got your back.” It was supposed to be a reassurance, he knew that was Dana meant but the tethering belief that he had just disappointed Robby from fumbling over a patient was the only thing on his mind.

“I’m really alright Dana, I can’t let Doctor Robby cover for me. I already owe him a lot.” More than a lot if he’s being honest, but no one needs to know about it.

“I know Robby, he’d never think like that, he helps whenever he can because that’s just how he is. So relax Dennis, he just cares about you, don’t be too hard on yourself, kid.” 

Dana left him with his thoughts swirling, making his heart pound for such an idiotic reason, ‘he just cares about you’ he thought about that repeatedly but Robby cares about everyone that’s the kind of man he is so he shouldn’t feel so special for such a trivial matter, but he was still hopeful. After finishing his coffee Dennis continued with his shift, joining the others for the handoffs, feeling a little bit better but still shaken up as he remembered the patient that he last saw. Dennis had wanted to help but he did the opposite and froze up in the middle of it, he kept disappointing himself today. A firm hand grabbing on his shoulder startled him, almost colliding with the man from behind.

“Settle down, Dr. Whitaker, it's only me.” Robby’s voice immediately made him relax, smiling sheepishly at his sudden reaction. 

“Sorry Dr. Robby, just a bit jittery is all.” That was half a lie, his mind was racing with thoughts that he'd rather keep to himself.

“It’s alright, just wanted to let you know that you can clock out early if you want to. We’re already finishing up the hand-offs, Donnie and Javadi have already gone home.”

“I can stay, it's only a few minutes. Plus I’m still waiting for Trin anyway.” He reasoned out, trying to avoid Robby’s concerned gaze. The man just lightly squeezed his shoulder as he nodded, albeit still hesitant to let him continue working after what he noticed on the last patient with Dennis.

“Okay, but can you spare a minute after you leave? I wanna talk to you about something.” Dennis froze, feeling himself panic unconsciously backing away from Robby's touch. His eyes darted anywhere but his chief attending, already overthinking that he's in big trouble because of his mistake from early on. Robby caught the panic behind Dennis’eyes and before the younger misunderstands Robby quickly explained himself. 

“I assure you, you're not in any trouble at all. I'm just a bit worried about you, kid.” That seemed to relive the panic in Dennis' eyes as he relaxed on Robby's touch, his hand still on the younger's shoulder. Robby withdrew his hand after another reassuring squeeze towards Dennis, the instinct to make the resident feel better nagged his head. 

“Umm, see you after shift then, Dr. Robby.” Dennis had wanted to argue at first, that Robby didn't have to hover him like a mother hen. But after seeing the concerned features of the attending he can't help but be grateful for it, he rarely had people being worried about him and even if it's part of Robby's responsibility to look after his co-workers Dennis felt just a bit special, he's really a hopeless idiot pining for Robby.

“Yeah okay, see you Whitaker.” 

•••

Half an hour came by quickly, day shift workers already left except for Robby and Dennis. He had already told Trinity that he had something to do after the shift leaving his roommate grinning mischievously as she teased Dennis to use protection. The younger one sputtered that it wasn't anything that she's thinking about. His cheeks heating up, it was impossible for him and his chief attending to be in that position anyway, the scandal of it would send HR into a coma.

“Sure, whatever you say, Huckleberry. Tell your mystery date to take you home at a respectable hour, unless they want me to cut their genitals off.” Trinity was already heading outside of PTMC as Dennis yelled his reply. 

“It's not a date!” 

“What's not a date, Whitaker?”

Dennis jumped in surprise at the sound of Robby's voice that suddenly just came out from behind him. “It's nothing Dr. Robby!” He squeaked out clutching his bag like it could shield him from further embarrassment.

“Alright, you've got your things already?” Dennis just nodded as he trailed after the older male exited PTMC.

The night was comfortable in its own way, a bit quieter during the day but still as bizarre and chaotic. Robby’s motorcycle was a few steps away from them when the man stopped walking, Dennis collided on his chest he was slightly startled, a soft ‘oof’ slipping out of his lips. 

“Sorry.” Dennis muttered only earning a chuckle from Robby which made him look up at the older man.

“It’s alright Dennis, you can relax. I’m not going to scold you or anything.” Robby reassured him once again, hearing his name from Robby’s mouth made his stomach churn in a way he cannot explain. 

“You’re not?” Robby shook his head, his hand settling on Dennis’ shoulder. The way he casually reached out for him makes Dennis’ head spin, though Robby’s eyes were filled with concern all Dennis could think of was the heat of Robby’s hand on his shoulder.

“No, I’m actually quite worried about you back there. I don’t mean to pry but if you need someone to talk to or to listen to you, I’m here. Not as an attending or your boss, but as a friend.” His voice was filled with genuine concern that Dennis just wants to tell him anything, about the belt marks on his back and how his father denied his entire existence because he was a disappointment to his eyes. Dennis quickly looked away, his eyes tearing up as a quiet sniffle came out of him. Robby was taken aback by the younger’s response, apologizing profusely about what he said but Dennis only shook his head reassuring Robby that it wasn’t his fault.

“Can we… talk about it at another place?” The ambulance bay wasn’t exactly the right space to speak out his childhood trauma, he knows it’s something that’s long overdue and he thought he’d buried it deep enough to not get into him but it lingered on his shoulder like a crucifix of shame. 

“Of course, as long as you’re okay riding on a motorcycle.” Robby was quick to move and passed Dennis his helmet before the male could even decide. Only when he wore the helmet did Dennis realize that Robby only had one of it.

“Dr. Robby, are you sure this is a good ide-” 

“C’mon kid, are you coming or not?” 

Dennis was quick to get on Robby’s motorcycle still contemplating where he should put his hands only to grab Robby’s waist as the man purposely drove faster than he normally was so the younger would cling tighter on him. Robby should feel guilty about it but the warmth of Dennis’ body pressed on him was worth it, he was treading on dangerous waters as Dana had said but he had no plans on stopping as he drove on a little cozy diner a few blocks away from the hospital. He waited for Dennis to get off, the male’s face was flushed as he took off the helmet and placed it on the back of Robby’s motorcycle, his senses were a bit dizzy from being so close to Robby that he could memorize his presence by his scent alone. 

The diner was a cozy place with dim lights instead of the bright ones that Dennis was used to, the seats reminded him of his grandma’s rocking chair back at home. They chose a more private spot on the corner despite the place not being that crowded, just a few people enjoying their dinner, mostly elderly couples who still enjoyed intimate dates every once in a while.

“What would you like to eat?” 

Dennis was still scanning the menu as Robby ordered his usual, he must be a regular at this place Dennis noted. 

“Umm, can I have the shepherd’s pie and an avocado shake?” He sounded sure that it came out as a question, the waiter listed their orders with a friendly smile.

“It’s on me,” Robby handed his credit card before Dennis could fumble with his wallet. All he could do was sit there as Robby paid for their meal, a warm feeling building inside him, it was a strange feeling to be taken care of when most of his life Dennis fought for survival.

“Thank you Dr. Robby, you didn’t have to really, I could have paid for my meal.”

“Call me Robby, we’re not at work right now so it’s just Robby and Dennis or Michael whichever you prefer.” 

“Thank you, Robby.” The small smile on Dennis’ face was enough for Robby to pay for all of the meals he would ask him to, a small part of him wanted to take him home and take care of him but surely he couldn’t just do that, an old man like him doesn’t deserve Dennis. 

“So yeah uhh, about that one case, I'm really sorry about that I didn’t mean to space out in the middle of work, it's just…” His breath stuttered, his lips couldn’t find the words to explain it and the pit of shame crawled up to his throat, his teary eyes stared back at Robby’s brown ones hoping he could just read his mind so he didn’t have to recall everything. “It brought back bad memories when I was younger. Those belt marks looked familiar cause-” He swallowed, looking away as he prepared himself to say it, to admit what had happened before wasn’t because of love from his father. 

“My father used to use the belt on me, in times when he disapproved of my behavior against other boys at home. My mother told me that he was doing it to prevent me from becoming a sinner, that it was an act of love from him. And I believed it, I endured every hit no matter how painful it was or how uncomfortable it made me to sleep on my own bed because of the bruises. I kept denying who I was to please my parents, until I couldn’t anymore. The belt scars are still on my back, sometimes they hurt even though they’re already healed. I know I should keep personal wounds away from work, that I have to be professional, and I thought I was over it but maybe I never was, I just learned to forget about it so it won’t hurt me anymore, but it's still there.” 

Dennis knew the tears would burst through when he started talking but he didn’t expect Robby’s arms to surround him with much needed comfort as he sobbed on his chest. He didn’t even notice the plate of steaming shepherd’s pie waiting for him as he wiped his eyes with his shirt. Still Robby continued to hold him, his hand gently caressing the back of his head, it made him feel warm all over, and without anything more to say Dennis just stuffed his mouth with pie.

Robby only chuckled at his antics, he was feeling everything all at once, angry at Dennis’ parents for making him believe that he had to change who he was to be loved that he had to be treated with cruelty instead of softness, and the protectiveness and endearment he held towards Dennis who choose to be kind and compassionate despite what he had been through, it made Robby want him more, to finally treat him with all the love that he deserves.

“Would it be crazy to say that I could probably knock your dad out in a fight?” Robby joked, causing Dennis to squawk and stare at him like he had said something ridiculous.

“I’m pretty strong, kid. I could handle him just fine.”

“I don’t want you meeting them, Robby. I don’t want you getting hurt.” It sounded too soft that the man just wanted to take him home, to protect him against the world, yet he opted to just pull him closer against him, his hand resting on the small of Dennis’ back.

“I won’t, I promise you that. They’re the ones who should be worried.”

“Can’t you just stay here, with me?” And who was Robby to say no against those bright blue eyes. 

“Do you want me to?” Robby asked carefully to which Dennis quickly nodded. 

“Yeah, I want you to… If you’d let me.” 

And Robby could almost pour his heart out to him, on how much he wanted Dennis more than anything else, that he’d fight everything if it meant to keep him in his arms. But instead he smiled and pressed a soft kiss on the crown of Dennis’ hair. 

“You don’t even have to ask.” This was enough for now, he’ll take what Dennis was willing to give him, being by his side was all the best that he could do even if he knew that the younger one probably just looks up to him as a mentor and nothing else, he won’t ask for more.