bury a friend .

As Becca started speaking, Zeke shook his head again out of habit as he tried to take her advice and calm down, but no matter how many deep breaths he took his emotions weren’t letting up. “Music is everything, and I tried to trust in it-” he interrupted quickly before shutting his mouth again as she continued speaking, his jaw set and his eyes closing briefly as he listened to every word. She was right, every word that left her lips was right. He had let his image become his main focus, he had lied to his fans and hearing those words, acknowledging those words stabbed him like a knife to the chest. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” he finally said quietly. “Since signing on with this label they’ve made my image everything. They don’t care about the music, they don’t care about what I actually have to say all they care about is how much they can make off of me. The amount of times they’ve threatened to drop me and completely ruin my rep if I don’t go along with whatever the fuck it is they want me to do is too many to count. So I do whatever they ask, even if it means being in a fake relationship because having my music out there, hopefully changing at least one person’s life means I’m actually doing something with the only talent I have, and don’t just tell me off and say there’s more to me than just my music because you know it’s not true. You know it’s the one thing I’m passionate about, the one thing I can actually do with my life to make a difference and I can’t bear the thought of not having that.” he lowered his voice as he took a sip of his drink and ran a hand over his face, looking back over at her. “I never stopped caring about the music, I never stopped being the same person I’ve always been but the light they paint me in makes me feel like I’m a piece of shit and that’s not something I want associated with my music. The songs I write are so personal but no one’s going to understand or believe that if they don’t take me seriously as an artist..” he shrugged lightly.  “I just don’t know how to show the world who I actually am when all my publicist does is make me out to be some drunk fuckboy - which I definitely am not I totally respect women.” he added with a quick glance to the camera, knowing his mother was most likely watching. 

Rebecca wasn’t stupid, she knew hearing your own faults repeated to you was not an easy thing to have to listen to and she could see that he was listening, it was written all over his face. Even more, she could see that he was acknowledging and that was another thing all on it’s own. She gave him a nod as he apologised “I get it.” she muttered, brushing her hair behind her ear. She took a sip of the drink in front of her before glancing back over at him “It’s okay.” she gave a half shrug. This time she didn’t answer, she let him get everything he needed to get out, out onto the table, waiting until he was finished. She waited a moment or two, letting his words settle before she started to speak again. “You know all of that stems from fear right?” she asked rhetorically. “From both sides, they’ve spent all this time using scare tactics to freak you out and it’s worked. It’s not right at all - but it’s worked. Zeke so what if they dropped you from your label. You have people that listen, people that care. That doesn’t come from your image or your fake relationship or any of that. It comes first and foremost from your music..” she nodded. “People hear you before they see you... and thats where they form that connection. If your label dropped you - they wouldn’t care. The people that mattered wouldn’t care..” she shook her head. “You can feed me that story of you being worthless as many times are you want and you can tell me that music is all you’re good for a million times over but it’s not true. You have more to offer than that. You’ll realise that one day” she offered a small half smile “You know what i think Zeke?” she brushed her fingers through her hair, turning to face him completely still leant against the bar “I honestly think one day you’ll see that this article could be one of the best things to happen to you” she smiled softly “Because guess what - this is your fresh start and your reality check. Start Again. Write music you care about and put it out purely for your fans and for yourself, fuck your label. This has to be about you now Zeke..” she nodded. 

@beccayoung - so my music video dropped today. here’s sorry not sorry & its everything I’ve ever wanted to say and more. thank u, next.

As he heard her speak, Zeke glanced over quickly at Becca, but he barely turned his head. Facing her of all people when he looked like this was something he didn’t want to do. He had been in bad places before and he knew she had always been there, without judgement to help him pick himself up but it didn’t stop him feeling like he was disappointing her every single time. His anger towards the paparazzi had always stemmed from his anger towards himself, sure they wrote horrible things.. but they did it to everyone, it just seemed to be him who took it to heart so often. Maybe it was because he was too invested in his music, after all it was all he had in life, from when he was old enough to understand it until now music had been the one constant in his life, the one way he could properly express himself because god knows Ezekiel Miller was shocking when it came to actual words.  Her question made him bite his lip in frustration, not at her though, of course he should have known she would guess what was wrong with him, he was frustrated that he let it get him like this.  “Apparently, I’m a raging alcoholic.” he laughed humourlessly as he held up his arms, the drink still in one hand as he spoke loud enough for the cameras to hear, in fact his tone of voice sounded like he was talking directly to them and everyone watching instead of Becca. “I’m an alcoholic who was dumped by my girlfriend who oh yeah, according to their previous news reports I apparently cheated on, even though the whole fucking world knows she was sleeping around too. But do they write about that? Do they drag her into the spotlight? No, of course they fucking don’t.” he started ranting. He should have known better than to say the words that were leaving his lips, words that admitted they were both seeing other people and weren’t actually in a relationship with themselves, he knew both his publicist and Remy would be after his head after he spilled it all, but in that point in time he was too drunk to care. Shaking his head he refused to look back at Becca, glaring down at his drink instead. 

Rebecca glanced over as he began speaking, eyebrows creasing slightly as he raised his arms in the air. She could tell by his humourless laugh that he was upset, though it’d been a while since she’d seen Zeke - she still knew his mannerisms. He was pissed. She took half a step back as she listened to him rant, loud enough to make most of the room stop and turn their heads - that being said times had changed. She didn’t worry about the eyes burning into their skulls. “Hey!” she interjected as his rant came to an end “Calm down” she shook her head - looking at him as he stared down at his drink. 

“I’m going to be completely and utterly transparent with you Zeke..” she took a half step back closer to him, lowering her voice. “I don’t know what you’ve been through - I don’t know what you’ve been dealing with - I’m not sure what your relationship was like. I don’t know.” she reiterated, arms folding over her chest “But what i do know.. Is that when we left this mansion - music was everything to you. the music.” she sighed. “Why didn’t you just trust in that?” she asked “I mean - i don’t get it..” she admitted, raising her hands in defeat “It’s like you got caught up in it all - the image thing - i just can’t possibly understand why else you would’ve entered into a fucking fake relationship..” she confessed - maybe it came off a little sharper than she had intended but it was true. “You lied to your fans zeke... about a relationship... why?” she challenged. “Of course it was going to come back and bite you..” she sighed and shook her head “In all honesty - This article might be harsh and it might hurt and it might suck.. But it’s an opportunity to start being honest and to start caring more about the music..” she nodded “Also - I would 100% appreciate if you didn’t snap at me like i had something to do with this... I get that you need to release your anger but you don’t get to do it to me..” she shook her head.”it’s not fair.” 

Zeke was annoyed by the fact that yet again an article had been written about him and taken completely out of context. He had actually been really good since his ‘break up’ but everyone had assumed that just because he was partying and having fun he was becoming a raging alcoholic who was spiralling downwards. No matter how much he tried, it would never change the way people perceived him so with the opportunity of a cocktail event he decided to give people what they wanted. A drunk.  He had already pre-drank hard up in his room before pulling on the dress pants and nice shirt that had been offered him, but in typical scruffy Zeke fashion the shirt was a bit wrinkled and his tie was loosely draped around his neck, almost as though he hadn’t bothered to tie it properly.  As he arrived at the cocktail party he made a beeline for the bar, grabbing a drink he didn’t stop to see who else had arrived yet until he heard someone approach him. “If you’re not here for a drink and you’re just going to judge you may as well keep walking.” he muttered.

Rebecca had a theory - the best way to block out negative media? was to avoid negative media and to be honest, it had worked for her so far. All of those trashy tabloids like E, TMZ, Daily Mail - Heck even MTV entertainment news? They were all blocked on her phone - the words were muted on her social media. The only time she ever saw their content? Was filtered through other people. However, there had been mumblings around the house of the first slander article to appear about one of the mansions occupants but she’d had no idea who exactly the article was about and why. She pushed the thought aside, determined to mingle at the cocktail party, catch up with people she hadn’t seen properly just yet. So she threw on a dress, pulled her long brunette waves from her ponytail and was on her way. 

As she entered the party, she noticed a few bodies around the place, smiling as she walked past the familiar faces. Everyone looked great! Everyone looked happy - it was the most positive she’d seen the reckless mansion ever. At least until she laid her eyes on an all too familiar figure. She could see even from a distance, the wrinkles in his shirt - the way he was hunched over the bar. Rebecca was curious - making her way over to the bar. She slid in beside him - looking towards the bartender waiting to place her order. She looked over at Zeke out of the corner of her eye and he did not look happy. Unsure on whether to comment, she chose to divert her eyes to her hands until his words broke her out of her thoughts. She couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her “Yeah - alright then..” she muttered “Wrong audience for that speech.” she shook her head, ordering herself a drink before looking over at him. It became obvious quickly that they article would have had to be about him, unless he had other shit going on, however she hadn’t gotten that vibe when she had first seen him. After a few moments of silence she spoke again “What did they write about?” she asked quietly.