And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...

it's 2004, and you live in Forks, the most boring small town on earth as far as you're concerned. nothing ever happens here. there's one diner and a gas station. totally depressing, right? but you make the best of it; you have some good friends, and you go out to some of the bigger cities and do fun shit together. However, you know life could be more exciting. you deserve something bigger and better.

then this strange family move to town. finally, something interesting!

it's monday morning when you see him: the hottest guy, probably on the whole planet. he's quiet--mysterious, even. you're curious about him, and you soon discover he's smart, too--he gets perfect grades, just like you. he's your exact type, so you actually work up the nerve to talk to him.

unfortunately: he rejects you.

it hurts but whatever. you move on. you get over the perfect guy, and start to actually take a liking to this other dude. he’s not as hot. he's not smart, either. and he is not even a little bit mysterious. but he’s kind of funny and cute, so you want to be with him.

you’re trying to get to know him, but it’s not going well. he's too dense to take a hint, and it's 2005 now and you're like 16, so you're not really feeling comfortable making the first move. you're trying so hard to get him to notice and like you, and you're failing. you feel like shit. it sucks.

then, out of nowhere, this girl shows up and your man who's not your man but also he is your man instantly falls in love with her! he's following her EVERYWHERE! (the good news is, she doesn't seem to like him back. but why does he like her and not you? you're literally the student council president AND the volleyball team captain...)

Despite your hesitancy, you welcome her into your friend group. Sure, maybe part of the reason is that you are hoping to keep an eye on your crush--but nonetheless, you go out of your way to be nice to her. Befriend her.

And then... as if you haven't been through enough... she ends up dating mr. perfect! the guy you liked first!

what the FUCK?

And like, you know you shouldn't be mad. it's not her fault your crush is an idiot, and that mr. perfect likes her and not you. but that doesn't make you feel any better... you still feel the envy. It's only human nature, right?

But that's not the end of it!

After all of this, that bitch makes YOU seem like the bad guy for having feelings about everything!!!! everyone [read: a large % of the twilight fandom] thinks you're some kind of jezebel just for being a teenage girl and reacting to a situation which, frankly, fucking sucks to be in: You're a hormonal teen girl trying to make it work. Both boys you've liked are obsessed with the new girl. And, to top it all off, you're the bad guy, apparently.

Anyway. that's it.

It probably smells faintly of blood

Why blood? Because hemoglobin in our blood has a lot of iron and thus has a metallic scent, similar to the coppery smell of a bunch of pennies collected together.

Edward: I know, I know.

Bella: You speak Spanish?