If I go missing tomorrow, you know it’s because I’ve done it. I’ve connected the two dots. And I blame both @volturi-or-die and @alecvolturi for this nonsense.

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@its--the--fluorescence
If I go missing tomorrow, you know it’s because I’ve done it. I’ve connected the two dots. And I blame both @volturi-or-die and @alecvolturi for this nonsense.

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the true horror behind twilight:
the idea that not only will you never sleep again, but you have perfect recall… To remember every single moment for the rest of your existence/eternity. To never even be able to escape your memories with sleep. One wrong decision and it haunts you til you die a torturous death.. it gives me shivers just thinking about it
hey btw as a reminder. disappointing someone is not the same as harming them
what if it was esme who turned rosalie (ignoring if shes capable) i think that it would affect Rose's opinion somewhat. something something abused woman giving another abused woman a second chance at living a life free from the influence men have had over them
bringing this back bc im drunk again and i reread what i started writing for this and it made me tear up a bit
watching new moon and.... the tension between bella and carlisle....... girl you fucked the wrong old man

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it's almost like... if you play a movie in 10 cinemas worldwide, it doesn't do as well as it could 🤯🤯
It's per theater numbers are great.
they set sapphic movies up to flop and then prop it up as evidence that movies about gay girls don’t matter
my blood looks more beautiful than yours it's a more luscious red
edward cullens not gon a fuck you babe
you've picked the right target you're just a decade late this would've ruined me at sixteen
Twilight Heritage Post
imagine you’re Jessica Stanley.
it's 2004, and you live in Forks, the most boring small town on earth as far as you're concerned. nothing ever happens here. there's one diner and a gas station. totally depressing, right? but you make the best of it; you have some good friends, and you go out to some of the bigger cities and do fun shit together. However, you know life could be more exciting. you deserve something bigger and better.
then this strange family move to town. finally, something interesting!
it's monday morning when you see him: the hottest guy, probably on the whole planet. he's quiet--mysterious, even. you're curious about him, and you soon discover he's smart, too--he gets perfect grades, just like you. he's your exact type, so you actually work up the nerve to talk to him.
unfortunately: he rejects you.
it hurts but whatever. you move on. you get over the perfect guy, and start to actually take a liking to this other dude. he’s not as hot. he's not smart, either. and he is not even a little bit mysterious. but he’s kind of funny and cute, so you want to be with him.
you’re trying to get to know him, but it’s not going well. he's too dense to take a hint, and it's 2005 now and you're like 16, so you're not really feeling comfortable making the first move. you're trying so hard to get him to notice and like you, and you're failing. you feel like shit. it sucks.
then, out of nowhere, this girl shows up and your man who's not your man but also he is your man instantly falls in love with her! he's following her EVERYWHERE! (the good news is, she doesn't seem to like him back. but why does he like her and not you? you're literally the student council president AND the volleyball team captain...)
Despite your hesitancy, you welcome her into your friend group. Sure, maybe part of the reason is that you are hoping to keep an eye on your crush--but nonetheless, you go out of your way to be nice to her. Befriend her.
And then... as if you haven't been through enough... she ends up dating mr. perfect! the guy you liked first!
what the FUCK?
And like, you know you shouldn't be mad. it's not her fault your crush is an idiot, and that mr. perfect likes her and not you. but that doesn't make you feel any better... you still feel the envy. It's only human nature, right?
But that's not the end of it!
After all of this, that bitch makes YOU seem like the bad guy for having feelings about everything!!!! everyone [read: a large % of the twilight fandom] thinks you're some kind of jezebel just for being a teenage girl and reacting to a situation which, frankly, fucking sucks to be in: You're a hormonal teen girl trying to make it work. Both boys you've liked are obsessed with the new girl. And, to top it all off, you're the bad guy, apparently.
Anyway. that's it.
i just think jessica didn't really do anything so wrong that she's a bad person. she was just young and a little immature, as many people are in their teens. if mike newton can be a pest and basically never listen to bella's desires and not be labeled toxic shithead (and instead be a lovable, immature funny guy), then jessica also deserves some grace. rant over. have a lovely day
A Cocktail Dress Made Out of 2,652 Pennies
Weight: about 14.6 pounds (6630 grams)
It probably smells faintly of blood
Why blood? Because hemoglobin in our blood has a lot of iron and thus has a metallic scent, similar to the coppery smell of a bunch of pennies collected together.
People who do things like floor an entire room in pennies counsel that you really need to seal/varnish the finished surface otherwise the smell can be pervasive.
what if i want to smell like blood?
You want vampires? Because that’s how you get vampires.
Ralf, that’s the kind of reply you can post everywhere but Tumblr.
Of course they want vampires.
@thebibliosphere
Running through the haunted woods in my copper penny dress like a jangly human-shaped windchime to drive all the vamps wild.
im having a moment
im turning rbs off of this in 24hrs you have my express permission to repost this image as much as you desire idc.
Limited edition total strike sonic post

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clicker training but its just a single piano key that makes you sad
Ain’t this what MCR did to a bunch of 2010s emos
She is capable of eating human food, therefore Renesmee poops.
you will not guess where this ao3 summary is going
Rosalie: *speaking Spanish*
Edward: I know, I know.
Bella: You speak Spanish?
Edward: No. I just know the phrase 'this is all your fault’ in every language Rosalie speaks.
What it looks like: I've abandoned my fic
What's actually happening: It consumes my thoughts every single day. The urge to write gets stronger but my putty brain just. won't. let. it. happen.

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Do you guys ever think about the fact that Esme is literally the only Cullen with a fully developed frontal lobe and therefore the only fully grown Cullen despite Carlisle being two hundred years her senior?
the human urge to have a vampire bite u