Scars may heal but the past is still real.

I’m gonna need you to love me a little harder sometimes. Most days, I’ll act like I’m just fine. I’ll paint my smile across my face and wear it proudly. I’ll laugh loudly like I’ve never tasted sadness in my life. But other days, I will not be so strong. I will not walk boldly into the room, I will collapse into it. My vision of life will be clouded by darkness, and I will make my walls extra thick in hopes that you don’t notice. Please, notice. And when you do, pull me close. Hold me until we’re both too warm for anything else to matter. Let me breathe you in. Tell me that you love me, don’t stop until I respond, and then tell me again. I know this could be inconvenient for you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, but sometimes I need to be told that I’m worth it.

I feel so sick and I’m gonna pretend that it’s because of the alcohol and not you, and the fact that the lips on my neck tonight weren’t yours. Everything I did with him should have been you, and now he’s attached and I’m still hurting and everyone’s cheering because someone else just took off their top , and all I can think about is how fucking in love with you I am, and how if you were here maybe I wouldn’t be sitting in a room with a bunch of half naked drunk teenagers, And I guess I kept hoping you’d turn up and we could talk about the future and how you want to die just to find a way to come back alive again But you never did turn up, So I let him do what he wanted to do to me, Because for once I just wanted to feel some affection, Even if it wasn’t from you.

In one universe I never found you and you never found me and we never went to the carnival. You never held my hand and we never kissed on the ghost train. I never got too familiar with the the feeling of your arm around me. In this universe, we never even met. In another universe I was never scared. I never held back from meeting you out of fear. We never broke up because of it. In another universe, we took our second chance when we were suppose to. I never told you to wait to meet me because of my badly dyed hair and you never got tired of waiting. We are still together now. In another universe, you never fell in love with her. I never cried. In another universe, you never came back. You never reminded me what it was like to be in love with you. You didn’t turn up when i was least expecting it and I never fell for you again. We never went to that castle “just as friends” and I didn’t search for excuses to hold your hand. I never cried myself to sleep because I can’t be friends with you. In another universe, we worked. In this universe, we’ve been together for a year and 9 months and it doesn’t hurt to breathe. You meet me from school and we spend our weekends on adventures. We kiss at the top of the castle. We kiss at the beach. We kiss everywhere. This is the universe I will live in. The universe where you love me.

but why is it so quiet? Why am I always waiting for something? It scares me that I need a tragedy. That maybe I always will.

I feel so sick and I’m gonna pretend that it’s because of the alcohol and not you, and the fact that the lips on my neck tonight weren’t yours. Everything I did with him should have been you, and now he’s attached and I’m still hurting and everyone’s cheering because someone else just took off their top , and all I can think about is how fucking in love with you I am, and how if you were here maybe I wouldn’t be sitting in a room with a bunch of half naked drunk teenagers, And I guess I kept hoping you’d turn up and we could talk about the future and how you want to die just to find a way to come back alive again But you never did turn up, So I let him do what he wanted to do to me, Because for once I just wanted to feel some affection, Even if it wasn’t from you.

I can’t talk about it because if I talk about it that means it matters. If it matters that means it’s real, and if it’s real that means it’s going to hurt.

Would you dare to give up everything and be alone with me?

We're the Ones Your Parents Warned You About

If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one.

You shouldn’t point out things about people’s appearances if they can’t fix it in ten seconds.