I can do this.

alright - i want to preface by stating i absolutely did not want it to have to come to this. at all. ever. but after being advised by several people i trust ( some of whom are my closest friends ), i have decided to post this for my own safety and sanity. please do not interact with me if you interact with my ex boyfriend, imbicilite / vaniteuxite ( as well as other blogs ). this is not a petty drama following a breakup. i put up with consistent guilt tripping, gaslighting, victim blaming, manipulation and emotional abuse during my time being involved with whit, as well as having his friends sent after me to white-knight for him whenever we got into a disagreement.

 i do not want to be forced to make a full callout, so i will include some brief screencaps underneath my post. anyone who needs to see more can contact me privately, but i will not be sharing the full conversation - both for whit’s privacy and for my own as a great deal of personal details were included. his silence has made me concerned that he is going to try and twist this to paint me as the villain ( as he has so often done whenever anyone calls him out ), so i just wanted to put this out there and get it seen, both for my safety and peace of mind and for yours. i would also like to point out that he has already attempted to make himself the victim of this situation, and made it public himself. here is evidence of that so he cannot blame me for this: 

this is not a call to abuse, harass or otherwise harm whit. he is ill, something that he has stated several times, and he is trying to get help. but, in his own words, sometimes you have to speak up to avoid others getting hurt. and after a tough decision ( and him vpn blocking me on every platform and blog ) i have reached this decision. whit if you’re reading this, i truly apologise. i will not make a callout on you as i know that you have trauma regarding them, but i HAVE to make this post for myself. i will not be bullied into staying quiet. i can’t. screenshots and further explanation will be below the cut. please like / reblog if you read this so i know who ends up seeing it. 

additionally, whit very often victim blamed myself and these people, and I myself was personally triggered by the way he romanticized abuse.

when i got the courage to call whit out, it was due to him actively hurting one of my friends. the callout I posted was angry and not very well written, and I do wish I had written it differently. However, that does not negate the reaction it got, wherein I was attacked by several anons, whitley himself, blocked when I didn’t give whit his way, and then approached by several more anons thanking me for making the callout post, and revealing that they too had been hurt by whit’s actions.

 This goes beyond personal bullshit. This is why I haven’t talked about what Whitley has done to me: it’s personal, so I don’t need to put it on tumblr. Now, Whitley has done this to a lot of people. 

  I am linking the stalking that Whitley has done to me since November. Recently, I had to change all of my discord information because Whitley found it and I don’t feel safe joining discord servers now. In November, I made the mistake of informing him that I will be blocking him (after repeatedly asking him to please, please leave me out of his personal issue). Since then, he has been keeping track of anything that I post. Multiple people have asked him to stop, to leave me alone, and he has refused. 

this is not ‘one incident’ this is not ‘breakup drama’ this is not one person with a problem with another, this is dozens of people with their own stories, their own bad feelings, their own struggles. 

the level of abuse, gaslighting and manipulation i have seen come out of this person. it’s hard to believe, but i am asking you to believe it. 

i have been told that whit seems to think i’m personally responsible for turning people against him, which i never attempted to do (until this moment i guess). in fact, i’ve had nothing to do with whit for months now, but he is still warning people away from me. he’s still claiming extreme emotional trauma over being ghosted by a group of people he was making feel uncomfortable and unsafe; as if he didn’t cause us severe emotional distress first.

i might get called out by him for ghosting him, but sometimes that’s what you have to do to make yourself feel comfortable. his presence in my life was causing me anxiety, so i stopped talking to him. and contrary to his belief, that doesn’t require an explanation, no-one has to explain themselves, no-one needs to give someone who is mentally harming them the reason that they are leaving. especially if the person they are leaving is known for manipulation and guilt tripping people into staying or stepping outside their comfort zone. 

i don’t have screencaps, i don’t have a long winded story or a big dramatic reveal. what i have is months of the little things that eat at you. the vague feeling of being watched and stalked, the unease and discomfort, the feeling like the next thing you say might set someone off in a bad way, or that it might be taken out of context and used against you publicly, or that someone is talking behind your back, or trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do and won’t take no for an answer, or any other number of tricks that whitley used to try and keep people quiet and complacent and scared. well i’m none of those things right now and i’m here to tell you:  

this will be my last addition to this post. i am tired. i am physically ill due to stress and anxiety, and mentally i’m not doing too hot. at the time of writing this, i have whitley blocked everywhere, on every platform. the reason i state this is - after the posting of my original post yesterday - whit sent me friend requests, both on my current discord and on my secondary one. as i am someone who believes in seeing the good in people, i accepted his request in the hopes to sort things out. however, this was not to be the case. 

i am, once again, putting this under a read more as it got rather lengthy and has several screenshots. i don’t want to clog people’s dash with this. i just want to feel safe and okay again. 

@archclergy​ : “ This disclaimer, “I’ve changed my alias from whitley to rosario for gender-affirming purposes” , has been in my rules page since day 1 on this blog. It’s a little more out of the way as of my latest page updates, but it’s still there and was front and center in my rules for the first two months of this blog’s existence. I’m not hiding anything, nor am I trying to fool anyone. I simply no longer wish to go by a name that gives me the dysphorias. It’s my deadname. I don’t like being called it. “ disclaimer x references, screencapped beneath.

DO NOT ENGAGE.