IN ALL HONESTY terra never thought he’d ever be able to be in this world again , be able to lie in the warm sand or splash the brilliantly blue sea water . despite his strong will & his desire to not lose hope , terra cannot deny that the years since being here last were full of darkness & despair . & at times though he’s been miraculously pulled from that darkness & back into the light he can’t help but worry this joy is only temporary & soon he’ll be engulfed in darkness once more .
AS RELIEVING AS IT IS to be freed from the deep darkness , terra finds being so suddenly pulled into the light is almost perturbing . he feels as if he’s been forced to stare into the blinding sun after being trapped in shadows for years . & while places & people may have familiarity , he finds he doesn’t know how to act around anything anymore . how do you simply move on after being held captive for over a decade ?
HIS GAZE DRIFTS to the younger boy , a pensive expression on his face as he looks over at him . riku’s grown , almost a man it seems . & yet he , terra has missed all of it due to his own incompetence . he hopes someday he can make it right by riku — & by everyone else .
❛ I DIDN’T EITHER . ❜ he says with a soft chuckle . the laugh seems hollow & slightly forced , the heaviness of his heart preventing him from truly being carefree . ❛ i always hoped i’d see you again … though not this late . i feel as if i’ve missed so much . ❜ too much , he thinks . ❛ but i’m glad to see what you’ve grown into . i don’t think i could have picked a better person to give the ceremony to . ❜ & he means it . he’s proud of riku for who he is & who he chose to become .
... right. his own words heard back in reverse come with a pang of knowing guilt, because he can imagine ( no, he can remember ) -- when you’re in the dark, you don’t think you’ll see anything of the realm of light again. you can’t even hope to, really. and that knowledge coupled of the daunting reality that sora is exactly there, in that terrible place that he and terra himself have managed to come back from... that breaks something in his composure, and riku suddenly can’t bear to look at the man who passed his legacy on to him. he almost chokes on the feeling that builds up in his throat, and promptly averts his gaze, gloved fingers curling into a squeezed fist to ground himself. it doesn’t do much. not by way of soothing him.
in your hand, take this key. so long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking ... its wielder you shall one day be. and you will find me, friend—no ocean will contain you then. no more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love.
the speaker of the words he’s lived by looks at him then with pride in his eyes, and riku feels a part of himself shine with glee; there’s no better feeling than being prided in, and yet, all he can think about is just what those years terra missed mean. from the outside, from this point, riku can understand where terra’s coming from. but he knows, where he’s been. he knows, that all the good he’s done in recent times has been a redemption arc. that’s enough to shy away from the praise. that’s enough that he can’t look him in the eyes still, when he speaks up again. “ ... that means so much for me to hear, coming from you. don’t get me wrong about that much. but... you did miss a lot, and i’m ashamed to say it, but... i’m glad you didn’t see those parts of me. you might not be saying that, if you had. ”