How could you think of yourself this way?
In 1990, there was a small gathering of psychologists, scientists, and meditators who came together with the Dalai Lama to explore the topic of healing emotions. Sharon Salzburg was thereâsheâs a much-adored writer on lovingkindness and happiness, and the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in the U.S. Their poignant interaction at the meeting is now legendary.
She asked him, âYour Holiness, what do you think about self-hatred?â Apparently His Holiness looked startled, leaned over to his translator, and emphatically and repeatedly asked for a translation of âself-hatred.â Finally, he looked back to Sharon, and asked, âSelf-hatredâŚwhat is that?â
Hold up. His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who is considered to be the incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, didnât get the concept of self-loathingâsomething that so many of us westerners know all too well? You know, DOWN on yourself, man. We live this way. When I first heard about this event, I thought, Doesnât everyone hate themselves to some degree, like, isnât it just universal human affliction? Apparently not.
Also present at that meeting of great minds was meditation teacher and author Jack Kornfield, who adds to the story. âThen, [the Dalai Lama] asked not only whether we knew what [Sharon] was talking about, but also if we ourselves experienced this self-hatred. And almost all the Buddhist teachers there, representing an entire generation, said âyes.ââ
With his hallmark humility, the Dalai Lama responded, âI thought I had a very good acquaintance with the mind, but now I feel quite ignorant. I find this very, very strange.â
Some philosophical discussions of this story bring up the point that while it would be hard to say that Tibetan Buddhists and the Dalai Lama have literally never heard of self-hatred or self-aggression, itâs simply not emphasized in their spirituality in the way that it is in the western world. Maybe this is because they didnât grow up with the Original Sin soundtrack playing in the background of their lives.
Thrown for a loop, His Holiness wanted to explore the concept of self-hatred further. He was not letting it go. âIs that some kind of nervous disorder?â he asked. âAre people like that very violent?â And then he delivered this white hot Truth in the form of a question:
âBut you have Buddha nature. How could you think of yourself that way?â
--Danielle LaPorte, on the Dalai Lama via White Hot Truth